Son got driver's license - tips from those who have been there?

[Zac495]

My 16 year old son is officially a driver. He's in the vehicular stage of life
He's a level headed kid (now - those who know his past from here know it WAS rocky). He refuses to go to parties because of what he knows goes on there. He says people who drive fast are idiots. I honestly believe he will follow my rules and will TRY to be safe.

All that said - inexperience is inexperience. I've said the things I can think of. Any other thoughts? Any tips of any sort? I'm sure some of you had good kids who had accidents anyhow. Could they have been prevented and how?
Thanks,
Ellen

Stale green - slow down
Don't trust the turn signal of the other guy
Slow down near kids and traffic stops and construction
Don't trust pedestrians

 

[UWSurfer]

Put him in an older car.
Increase your insurance coverage, consider a liability umbrella.
Pray.

 

[deh333]

Rule at our house: Family only in the car for the first year (a law in Ohio). Send him on close errands/trips. Lots of them! Continue to be in the car when he drives, and what UW says. Good luck!

 

[jlr10]

Develop a few rules about how many friends can be in the car, if not mandated by your state. - In California they have laws that stipulate how long they have to have a license, and age requirements before they can legally have friends as riders in the car. So many accidents for the newly inexperienced drivers are reported when the law is disregarded and the friends proved to be a distraction, sometimes resulting in fatal consequences.

Do a young driver contract with him that you both agree that should he not be able to drive, for any reason, he can call you at any time of the day or night and you will come and get him, with no questions asked at that time, but reserve the right to calmly discuss what happened the next day. (You should be able to find one online.) Even for good kids it is a good idea just to reinforce this issue.

But remember that even the best kids (and adults) become involved in accidents. So spend time with him telling him what to do if it should happen. Put a short list of what to do with the registration of the car, so he won't forget, as it is disconcerting, when an accident happens.

1) Get the name, license number, phone number, and insurance information of the other driver.
2) Get the name and phone number of any witnesses or passengers in any vehicles involved.
3) Ask if anyone is hurt
4) Pull out his cell phone and take a picture(s) of the vehicles before they are moved. -This is the step most people forget, and frequently the best indication of what really happened.
5) If the damage is more than a minor scrape, or if there is any bodily injury, call the local authority and have a police report made.
6) Be sympathetic to the other party but do not make statements that will be construed to being at fault, just get the info and let the insurance companies take care of the accident.

The biggest help is to pray for their safety at all times. Even if they aren't driving. This can be true, even for non religious parents.

 

[swift]

We had our kids sign a contract, just so that everything is clear and something this serious we all were not going to take lightly. (The reason the Hwy 101 portion is in there is that there had been so much construction on the hwy that it had made it dangerous for the new drivers- many, many accidents were happening and in our area there are back roads to take as a safer alternative)

Driving Contract
11/18/08
I will obey all speed limits.
I will not eat any food or consume any drinks while driving.
I will not play music loudly.
I will keep two hands on the wheel.
I will not have any passengers in the car until probation is over. (Except for Patrick to and from school)
After probation is over passengers need to be approved in advance by Mom and Dad.
If I receive a ticket, I will pay for it out of my own money.
I will only drive the car with permission from Mom or Dad. I will tell them where I am going and when I will be home. If I want to change my plans, I will call to get permission before I go anywhere.
I will not use the telephone while driving. If the phone rings, I will pull over to answer it. If need to make a call, I will pull over. This includes texting.
Everyone in the car will wear seat belts or the car doesn’t move.
There can never be more passengers than seat belts.
I may not drive on Hwy 101 with out permission.
I will be a defensive driver- IPDE- Identify, Predict, Decide, Execute.
This contract can be changed to add or remove terms at any time if we agree.
We are proud of your progress and the sense of responsibility you have been showing.

Mom ____________________________________________
Dad ______________________________________________
Danielle____________________________________________


Also, somethings are in here, such as eating/drinking while driving because as new drivers they just don't have the skill underneath them to multitask obviously as time went on some of the rules relaxed. Although, the car Danielle has is a stick shift and she still does not eat or drink coffee etc while driving, out of her own choice.

P.S. Knock on wood, neither of my older kids have yet to have an accident or a ticket

 

[pedro47]

Rule #1... pray and have faith in your son that he is a good kid.

 

[Passepartout]

No night driving for a year
As said, family only in the car for a time (that you decide) then limited friends- one for a time then 2 then more as he demonstrates maturity. Different kids mature at different rates.
NO cell phones on in the car-at all
2 seconds or more following distance
Seat belts worn- ALWAYS by everyone in the car

He should be shown what the cost of his additional insurance is and encouraged to participate. This is a hard one. Back when I gave talks at High school driver-training classes, I'd ask the kids if they worked. Those who worked did it primarily to support a car. And the only reason to have a car was to go to work. In other words, if they didn't have a car, they didn't need to work. Vicious circle.

Make it clear that driving is a privilege, not a right and that privilege is linked to grades and behavior. Any tickets or observed unsafe driving will result in loss of privilege.

Good Luck! This additional independence is a huge step and if he is eased into it he'll do fine.

Jim

 

[Zac495]

GREAT so far!!! I am going to do all of these things (we will let him drive his one friend to school ONLY - that's the only friend in the car we're allowing - even that makes me nervous)

 

[Phydeaux]

I wouldn't have allowed him to drive at the age of 16. What I know about the human brain and its development precludes me, as a responsible parent, to allow it. Since that's no longer an option, go with the driving contract. Good advice. Good luck.

 

[rickandcindy23]

In Colorado, there are new laws for young drivers. One of them is no one under the age of 18 can ride with someone of that same age or younger. So no kid passengers.

The high schools in our school district have open campus, so our kids would go to lunch with these young drivers, and some of their classmates were killed in car accidents. This happened more than once during our kids' tenure at the high school. One of our son's dearest friends was killed this way.

I believe this is exactly why they implemented the law. You cannot pick other kids up for school (and the school watches for violations as kids arrive and leave).

 

[Talent312]

I'm sure he's had the training, but it helps to reinforce that a great many accidents and tragedies happen simply 'cuz other vehicles and peep can seemingly pop out of no where, even when it appears that the coast is clear, so it never hurts to take a second look before making a move.

 

[spirits]

Get professional Drivers Training

When our sons got their licenses we paid for driver's training. They were taught the proper methods and we did not inadvertently pass on outdated, or worse, wrong advice. Best money I ever spent. They had drivers with many years of proper driving experience mentoring them. They are now in their early 30's and have never had an accident (thank god). That I know of anyways. I do not take any credit for my parenting .
They were also wise enough to wait until their late teens before they took those lessons. They had seen their friends start driving at 16 and get into minor accidents. They did not want to pay their insurance rates!
I also remember them "teaching" me the proper way to drive after their lessons. Back seat drivers

 

[Sea Six]

When our sons got their licenses we paid for driver's training. They were taught the proper methods and we did not inadvertently pass on outdated, or worse, wrong advice. Best money I ever spent. They had drivers with many years of proper driving experience mentoring them. They are now in their early 30's and have never had an accident (thank god). That I know of anyways. I do not take any credit for my parenting .
They were also wise enough to wait until their late teens before they took those lessons. They had seen their friends start driving at 16 and get into minor accidents. They did not want to pay their insurance rates!
I also remember them "teaching" me the proper way to drive after their lessons. Back seat drivers

Excellent advice. When I started driving a large companies vehicles around for work, they sent me to driving school. I thought I was pretty good at around age 22, but I learned things that I remember to this day about defensive driving. Knowing what to look out for, and how to anticipate what others might do can save your life. They used many examples of how people could have easily avoided accidents if they just did something a little different. Simple things, like slowing down or stopping rather than risk being in the wrong place.

 

[rickandcindy23]

Professional training is a good idea. Rick had it as a kid.

His Dad went through Sears (Allstate insurance and Sears had some relations back then) for the driving school, and the lady who taught him sold Tupperware.

She had him drive her to her deliveries. That was over 40 years ago. I had forgotten it. She decided immediately that Rick knew how to drive, so she need to take care of her side business. He had long driving lessons and wasn't charged for the extra time. It is one of his great childhood memories. She was a lovely older lady who also allowed Rick to pick me up for a few of his lessons.

 

[pianodinosaur]

Many moons ago when I was still a teenager, my mother had me drive her around when she had to do the grocery shopping. She was very interested in antiques. So, she had me drive her to antique shops and estate sales. I am now very interested in antiques and I have my mother to thank for that. She is no longer with us but I often think of the good times we had together.

 

[glypnirsgirl]

Every time you are going together as a family, let him be the one to drive. He needs the practice.

Practice, practice, practice.

elaine

 

[isisdave]

Make him drive on all family outings, particularly when new experiences are involved, like new cities, freeways, snow, wind, etc., so you can advise him.

Continue to critique his driving. He won't like that, but tell him it's part of the price of the privilege.

No matter how much following distance he's allowing, tell him it's not enough and you want twice as much. Don't argue about this. If he doesn't like it, invite him to ask the neighbors if he can drive their car.

We permitted use of the radio at reasonable volume IF he promised not to change stations unless stopped at a light. Next to cell phones, station switching is the most distracting thing kids do. And we didn't think it was realistic he wasn't going to listen at all.

 

[DorotaG]

My daughter is 17 1/2, has her license for 1 1/2 year. Totalled her first car, not ENTIRELY her fault, but she should have been more careful. I thought she was level headed, reasonably good driver, but the instincts are not there yet when you are so young and have no experience. Now, she drives my old Honda Odyssey and hates it. It is no uncool.

The best I did for her lately is to enroll her in one day class of safe driving. It was amazing. It is given by BMW clubs of America, and it really teaches kids how to react in emergency situations. Check youtube for videos. I really recommend it for all young drivers (and some older could use this training as well). http://www.bmwusa.com/Standard/Content/Experience/Events/PDS/ProgramsandCourses/Overview.aspx?enc=/eiUrYOZAxtXbrazY6tfkmnueZmuSV+mTyz9vrTx7Nhf7ZDmDoCikBP8YDQU4wYAyPUx1v0XfTeLuJmUpso/irDQnQ8gL/9teNnvwNeZBpLTDBpVB6SBttpLUQl+w2beYcVqhXCnUkYXWwPO1jwLmFl4FEiUVnRVl8ev7a8I/icyejyWJwyLI8uOjl3kxZfZ

Some youtube videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bDdzIMCnfE

 

[Cheryl17]

I have another "Don't trust..." tip. When you're in an intersection waiting to turn left and the light changes to red, don't trust that the oncoming driver will stop; look, and make sure he/she is slowing down before you turn in front of him/her. Also, I highly recommend that inexperienced drivers don't drive SUV's: because of their higher center of gravity, many simple accidents (e.g. sliding into a ditch) become rollover accidents.

 

[Zac495]

Many moons ago when I was still a teenager, my mother had me drive her around when she had to do the grocery shopping. She was very interested in antiques. So, she had me drive her to antique shops and estate sales. I am now very interested in antiques and I have my mother to thank for that. She is no longer with us but I often think of the good times we had together.

That is SO sweet!We only did one professional lesson so far due to SAT practice and AP courses. He finished SAT's (great score) and will now do the lessons. One kid in the car only and I love so many of your ideas. Here is my contract.
Driving Contract
1. I will only have one person in a car other than family at one time. This person must be approved by one of you. X (best friend) is approved.
2. No night driving without an adult.
3. I understand that if for any reason I am unable to drive, I will call one of you to get me. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. However, I understand you reserve the right to discuss the situation CALMLY the next day.
4. I will continue to accept all critiques by my parents with good spirits.
5. I will obey all speed limits.
6. I will not eat any food or consume any drinks while driving.
7. I will not play music loudly.
8. I will keep two hands on the wheel.
9. I will never answer my phone or a text while I am driving. If the phone rings (including texting) I will pull over safely if I want to answer it.
10. I will check my phone once I arrive at my destination in case it was one of my parents calling. I will always call my parents back as soon as the car is stopped safely.
11. If I receive a ticket, I will pay for it out of my own money.
12. I will only drive the car with your permission. I will tell you where I am going and when I will be home. If I want to change my plans, I will call to get permission before I go anywhere.
13. Everyone in the car will wear seat belts or the car doesn’t move.
14. I will take the online drivers’ education class and two more private lessons (paid for by parents)
15. I will do the driving with my family when asked unless there is a specific reason (such as sickness)
16. I will do any local errands when my parents request it with my own gas.
17. I will be a defensive driver. I will remember to look both ways, remember about stale greens, remember that a turn signal by another car doesn’t mean the other car will definitely turn. I will not trust little children. I will follow other cars at a safe distance. I will remember better safe than sorry.
18. If I am told I may not take the car for any reason, I will not argue.

If I ever am in an accident, here is what I will remember:

1) Get the name, license number, phone number, and insurance information of the other driver.
2) Get the name and phone number of any witnesses or passengers in any vehicles involved.
3) Ask if anyone is hurt
4) Pull out your cell phone and take a picture(s) of the vehicles before they are moved. -This is the step most people forget, and frequently the best indication of what really happened.
5) If the damage is more than a minor scrape, or if there is any bodily injury, call the local authority and have a police report made. 911
6) Be sympathetic to the other party but do not make statements that will be construed to being at fault, just get the info and let the insurance companies take care of the accident.
Signatures

 

[easyrider]

Our kids grew up operating quads, snowmobiles and motorcycles so cars were easy.
Our instructions were simple.

Keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel.

They all made it through high school with no problems.

 

[Talent312]

Nice contract, but I'd be more specific about:
.... Speed Limits: Sometimes, its better to go with the flow and not impede traffic, to avoid being a hazard to other drivers. Likewise, sometimes weather or road conditions warrant going much slower.
.... Consequences: I'd specify that a failure to comply (which will inevitably occur) will result in a penalty proportionate to the nature of the infraction, such as counselling, a curfew, suspension and "grounding."

 

[Zac495]

Nice contract, but I'd be more specific about:
.... Speed Limits: Sometimes, its better to go with the flow and not impede traffic, to avoid being a hazard to other drivers. Likewise, sometimes weather or road conditions warrant going much slower.
.... Consequences: I'd specify that a failure to comply (which will inevitably occur) will result in a penalty proportionate to the nature of the infraction, such as counselling, a curfew, suspension and "grounding."

Okay I like that. THANKS

 

[hvacrsteve]

Don't do this!

This was our Grandsons car!

It is no more and he is not with us either.
He made one mistake and it it cost him his life.
Notice the right front wheel is where the passengers head would normally be.
20 years old

 

[CarolF]

Totalled her first car, not ENTIRELY her fault, but she should have been more careful. I thought she was level headed, reasonably good driver, but the instincts are not there yet when you are so young and have no experience.

Same here - DS totalled his car also.

My best advice is - don't give him a car. Make him save his own money to buy one, stipulate the type of car he may purchase with appropriate safety features and ensure he doesn't get one until he is able to fund all running costs including insurance. Hopefully, this will buy a bit more time for him to mature and get more practice with you by his side.

This was our Grandsons car!

It is no more and he is not with us either.
He made one mistake and it it cost him his life.
Notice the right front wheel is where the passengers head would normally be.
20 years old

What a terrible tragedy. I'm so sorry you lost your Grandson Steve.