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Do you speak up or stay silent regarding group gatherings & masks?

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Paumavista

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The holiday season is upon us and we have begun to receive a number of party and group invitations. Some of the groups are rather large; many gatherings include people we don't know well; the foster parents association plan a hosted dinner, with Santa, activities and games in a large church recreation room.....I'm guessing about 50-75 people. I usually just respond: "unable to attend". - Has anyone here ever said something to people organizing these "events" (in a nice way....)......as the virus spreads it will have an effect on most of us. Perhaps I should just continue to mind my own business and respond "no thank you..?" If you did say something about using masks, maintaining distance, or questioning the number of attendees.....is there a way to say it nicely?.....Did your comment make any difference?
 

amycurl

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I have responded by sharing the map that shows the likelihood of a gathering of a given size having at least one COVID-19 positive person in attendance, broken down to county-level data, and that is updated daily. Not judging, but always in a, “just fyi” way. More likely to do it on a FB post so others can understand the risks themselves in regards to their possible attendance.
 

elaine

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I would say like “to combat covid, we are avoiding indoor gatherings this season.” Great idea above. Imho it’s our civic duty to at least voice concern.I also like the simple charts that list high risk activities. Maybe say “this seems to fall into a high risk activity.”
 

Patri

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Say what you are doing, and why. Don't tell them what to do.
 

pedro47

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In our home, we do not allow any visitors in inside our residence. All gathering are outside 6' distance and you must wear a mask.
Wearing a mask is very hard outside for me ; because I enjoy walking, cutting grass, working in my yard and breathing clean free air.

If you are not wearing a mask in a public gathering; that is your decision.
I will avoid you and walk in the opposite direction.
 

Tank

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It’s a struggle
we just decline
We do - or we don’t - minds are made up
When it hits home, or you work with it they jump the fence
It’s a mess

Dave
 

elaine

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Wearing a mask is very hard outside for me ; because I enjoy walking, cutting grass, working in my yard and breathing clean free air.
We are strict indoor mask wearers since March around anyone but family pod, however I don't know of any studies showing a need for a mask outside unless you're coming within 6 feet of others for more than a brief passing.
 

bbodb1

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...If you are not wearing a mask in a public gathering; that is your decision.
I will avoid you and walk in the opposite direction.

Exactly.

When people put on masks, they seem to think they can proceed with life as they did before COVID and they forget social distancing.
Masks are not the exclusive solution to this problem - a fundamental change of human behavior is needed to expand and respect the personal space of others.

But I am not holding my breath waiting for that to happen - instead avoid people and crowds entirely.
 

Brett

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We are strict indoor mask wearers since March around anyone but family pod, however I don't know of any studies showing a need for a mask outside unless you're coming within 6 feet of others for more than a brief passing.

right, when we go for walks or bicycling we stay 6 feet away and don't use masks
 

Quiet Pine

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A favorite expression of mine! DH has heard it so often he's started to use it.

Where I live, everyone wears masks and stays apart. My zip code has a median age of 53, so we're older, cautious, comfortable obeying rules. No social gatherings are planned--friends feel the way we do--so we won't be in danger.
 

jackio

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If I am comfortable with the people I decline, stating that I am uncomfortable with social gatherings at this time. When I don't know them well (ex: I was invited to a bridal shower and I did not know the hostess) I simply decline, stating I cannot make it.

We also do not wear masks outside if we are 6 feet away from anyone else. We have the masks in ready position and pull them up if someone comes near us.
 

geist1223

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If we know in advance they will not be enforcing Masks we decline. If we turn up and it becomes obvious they are not enforcing Masks we leave.
 

klpca

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In my own social circle it hasn't come up much at all. Just one baby shower with a guest list of 70 people - "but people will be socially distanced!" - where, on a football field? I told my friend that I wouldn't be able to go and apparently I wasn't the only one because it became a drive through baby shower that spanned 4 hours. I still didn't go because we were quarantining for Hawaii. Otherwise we do book club on zoom, I have Tuesday happy hour with my crew via zoom, and no one is entertaining otherwise. Maybe we are just duds lol, or maybe we got it out of our system years ago.

To the OP I personally would have no problem saying "I am so sorry, but we can't attend because we are uncomfortable being around that many people during covid. We can't wait for this to be over so that we can attend again. Thank you so much for thinking of us." Will it change anything? Probably not, but it does give the organizers some feedback so that they know that it is nothing personal.
 

Sandy VDH

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i've given up commenting on others. It serves no positive purpose.

I myself have really restricted my social circles. I am planning on going away for the week after thanksgiving. I did invite two of my friends to join me for the weekend, but since they already had covid earlier this fall, mild cases actually, but are negative now, I figured they have immunity for now, and should not be able to pick it up again and spread it to me. So they are my safe peeps for now.
 
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RALnGA

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The holiday season is upon us and we have begun to receive a number of party and group invitations. Some of the groups are rather large; many gatherings include people we don't know well; the foster parents association plan a hosted dinner, with Santa, activities and games in a large church recreation room.....I'm guessing about 50-75 people. I usually just respond: "unable to attend". - Has anyone here ever said something to people organizing these "events" (in a nice way....)......as the virus spreads it will have an effect on most of us. Perhaps I should just continue to mind my own business and respond "no thank you..?" If you did say something about using masks, maintaining distance, or questioning the number of attendees.....is there a way to say it nicely?.....Did your comment make any difference?

Act same way you'd act if someone was smoking near you. Either get away from them(don't go), scold them for smoking (giving your opinion) or join them and enjoy yourself, with your mask on or off.
Remember it is your choice just as it is their choice.
RAL
 

Firepath

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Our state is going not doing well, but we were still invited to a family gathering with out of town relatives who have flown in. We declined and expressed that we wouldn’t feel safe, without lecturing. I’m pretty sure by now everyone knows it’s not safe.
 

Luanne

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We are the ones in our neighborhood who have the big parties. We already passed on having our 4th of July party and we'll pass on having a Holiday party as well. None of our friends and family have questioned why we're not having them this year. I've received invitations for smaller gatherings, which I've declined. Our state is quite shut down at this point, no gatherings over 5 people.
 

pittle

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We were invited to an anniversary event that is being held today actually. I responded that because we were considered in the high-risk group, we must decline. They were renewing their vows in an outdoor location, but hosting the reception at their home. I was not sure how many people were invited so we did not feel comfortable going. I do know that this family and several of their close frineds love to hug others, so it would have been difficult to attend. In non-Covid times we would have gone. But this year, my husband has been doing chemo and has 2 more treatments, so he is super high-risk.
 

JudyH

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Where I am, here in Fl, I see the gatherings split right along party lines. My large family thru marriage stays maskless, plays pool in bars, and is having their annual Thanksgiving dinner.
My newer friends follow science. I do what they do and keep my mouth shut.
 
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