# How do you split up the cost of traveling?



## talkamotta (Aug 25, 2008)

Background: Im single with grown children and 7 grandchildren.  I do have a boyfriend of 10 years (not living with him). 

So far, when I have gone on any trips, no matter who goes with me, I pay for the cost of the timeshare.  

If its just me and the boyfriend.  He will pay for food and gas, car rental. We pay for our own airfare.  

If we invite his family.  We split the cost of food and activities, he pays for car rental and everyone pays for own airfare. 

If its my family. I will pay for most things.  Activities are usually divided. Sometimes I will get a timeshare locally and we will just take turns going up there for the night.  

I have given 3 of the kids trips for thier honeymoon.  

Now the kids are wanting to go with thier friends.  I think they should pay my maintenance/trading fees.  They are ok with that. 

My x-husband said he would match dollar for dollar what I spent on our son's wedding. Its at my house and Im doing alot of work but thats ok.  Im giving them a Maui   timeshare for thier present.  MF's  of course are high.  He thinks he shouldnt count that because I would have to pay it anyway. I think I could trade it or rent it. 

I understand others that dont have timeshares dont "get it" There are fees involved.  

My question is how does everyone split the cost of travel?


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## scotlass (Aug 25, 2008)

We often invite my sisters and one brother-in-law to travel to our timeshares with us.  We pay for the TS, but we split the car and other mutual expenses 5 ways. They offered and paid for all our food for the week which was nice but not necessary.  They pay their own airfare.  I'm sure it's different with siblings vs. grandchildren, depending on who has income.


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## pcgirl54 (Aug 25, 2008)

To clarify: Is your question is on splitting the cost of all TS fees for the honeymoon as part of the wedding costs?


 Family dynamics are different for all of us.

One way to see it is if you are the sole owner and this is your gift to your son then you bear the cost.

Did your ex plan on giving them a gift? Maybe some spending money for the trip ,paying for the car rental or an activity they could not afford would be a gesture to satisfy you both.

Nice that you are sharing the wedding costs.


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## jlwquilter (Aug 25, 2008)

I thought the same thing as pcgirl - if the timeshare stay is your gift to the newlyweds, then it's your gift and you pay for the MFs, etc. If it's supposed to be from both you and the ex, then sure, the fees should be split as it's a joint gift.

As for other times of family use, if the kids want to use it themselves, with or without friends, then them paying for that year's MF and associated fees seems fair to you and them (of course, letting them use if for free is nice too if you can afford it). The thing to watch out for is, with such a large group, you may end up sometimes having one kid pay as they "can afford it" and another kid not pay as they "can't afford it". This can lead to issues as paying/not paying is not uniform across the board.

Good luck!


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## rsnash (Aug 25, 2008)

jlwquilter said:


> The thing to watch out for is, with such a large group, you may end up sometimes having one kid pay as they "can afford it" and another kid not pay as they "can't afford it". This can lead to issues as paying/not paying is not uniform across the board.


Definitely depends on family issues here. Not a traveling or timeshare issue, but a "siblings paying different amounts" issue: My two brothers and I threw a party for our parents' 50th anniversary. In age order, brother A lives locally, makes a decent living, has two kids; brother B lives a plane ride away, is a rich doctor with a lawyer wife, has two kids (recently spent ~$100K on bar mitzvah weekend for older boy); sister C (me) is married no kids, but did ALL the work for the party. 

C paid X, B paid 3X, A paid 2X. All was discussed and negotiated ahead of time, and when there were some extra expenses toward party time, B paid most of that, too. When A heard that, he insisted on paying some of the extra costs too, but B didn't want any money back, so C (me) ended up paying X-10%.

Both of them included thanking me for all the great party planning in their speeches/toasts at the party. People had been complimenting them and saying what a great event, etc., and they always insisted I did all the work. Since I did, and it was a lot of work, I really appreciated that. One of the best part was that we were able to act as reasonable adults and work out the money without squabbling. What a great change from when we were all bratty kids!

The point of this, is, yes, who pays what depends on family dynamics, but it also helps to be frank and open in dialogue before said expenses occur. I preferred to do most if it via email, so everyone could be copied on everything and there was a record to refer back to.


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## laura1957 (Aug 25, 2008)

talkamotta said:


> I have given 3 of the kids trips for thier honeymoon.
> 
> My x-husband said he would match dollar for dollar what I spent on our son's wedding. Its at my house and Im doing alot of work but thats ok.  Im giving them a Maui  timeshare for thier present.  MF's  of course are high.  He thinks he shouldnt count that because I would have to pay it anyway. I think I could trade it or rent it.
> 
> ...



I would consider the Maui timeshare a present from YOU, separately from the ex.  Just be glad he is willing to pay for half the wedding expenses!!   If the relationship is civil, which it seems to be, I would suggest that he could pay for part of the airfare or extra spending money as HIS gift to the couple.
     I don't expect anything at all from my ex when that time comes


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## talkamotta (Aug 25, 2008)

I was over emphasizing the x's part of my post.  I still get a   irritated that he is such a cheapskate, but that subject would be the start of a long story. The kids were trying to get some financial help for the wedding and he said he would match what I paid.  Im giving them the timeshare and I will probably spend another $700 on other stuff and its in my backyard so there has been alot of extra work involved.  (Its our son, so I dont consider $2K a bad wedding present).  This is the 3rd wedding Ive had in my backyard so its kind of fun and a compliment to my hard learned gardening skills. He just wants me to give the kids my $700 in receipts and he will match it.  

When the x didnt think that the cost of the timeshare should be included as part of the cost of my present. (I dont really care what he thinks)  That made me think if others discount what we pay in mfs.   

 I like being generous, the memories are wonderful.  I dont expect the financial part of it to be even.  I just dont want to be discounted or taken advantage of.  As we travel more and more, other family members and friends, seem to think its ok to ask "Can you get us a condo in Cancun (where ever).  Or they will ask if they can go?  (which is a nice compliment but sometimes I just dont want others to go).  

I just wanted to know how others split up the costs.


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## LisaRex (Aug 25, 2008)

I agree that the Maui TS is your gift and not part of the wedding costs.  Your labor, unfortunately, is not part of the equation.  You can ask him if he'd be interested in going in on the wedding gift, but to expect it is presumptuous, especially since he has a long history of being a cheapskate.  



talkamotta said:


> As we travel more and more, other family members and friends, seem to think its ok to ask "Can you get us a condo in Cancun (where ever).  Or they will ask if they can go?  (which is a nice compliment but sometimes I just dont want others to go).
> 
> I just wanted to know how others split up the costs.



If I invite people along with me, I usually tell them the lodging will be taken care of.  The family that traveled with us to Maui in July, however, wouldn't accept that and insisted on contributing towards the MFs. We finally settled on $600, which was still a deal for them and helped offset our $1700 MFs.  We split everything else down the middle, including food, dinners out, activities, etc. 

However, I can certainly understand splitting the MFs with other couples as they are still getting lodging for quite a bit less than they could get on their own. 

If people weren't traveling with me, I'd offer to book the TS for the cost of MFs for close relatives only.  For anyone else (friend of a friend, BF's family), I wouldn't hesitate to add on a surcharge of a few hundred bucks to offset the $$ I forked out to buy the thing.  Why not? Otherwise, you'd take a loss on it and that would be taking advantage of you.


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## eakhat (Aug 25, 2008)

Last winter my husband and I created a database to determine a more realistic cost of a timeshare week.  We determined how many years we thought we would use the timeshare and divided the cost of purchase over those years.  We added the maintenance fees, factoring in an increase each year, to the yearly cost to get a truer idea of the cost.  It's really eye opening to see how much we pay for a week.  

People who don't own timeshares don't realize the cost.  Sometimes people travel with us with no cost to them and sometimes they pay a portion of the maintenance fee.  We usually split the car rental and food costs, but pay for our own air.


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## pammex (Aug 25, 2008)

Boy am I doing something wrong.....I take my parents, friends, kids etc., and even let kids ( adults use timeshares ) and I pay for the timeshare MF's, and many times for the gas, supplies needed in room etc.....

People not into timeshare do ot get it that it costs money for this unit...LOL. 

I recently gave a week timeshare to a cuple as a wedding gift for their honeymoon, so that was okay, but have heard nothing from them LOL.

My son gets a ski vacation timeshare at least yearly for him and his girl, they are very thankful, and this year for first time, when I booked him for next Jan., he actually called me and asked how much do I owe you for the timeshare?  Wow, I was shocked...guess he is finally learning and growing up ( he is 24).  I gave it as an X-Mas present...he and his girl are thrilled.  

Other friends and family just think it is all free.....maybe take us out to eat for a dinner or such...and others tell me yes we are going and then reneg at last minute...I must be doing smething wrong...LOL

Oh well, we are going anyway...but I am going to have to mull this post over for awhile, somehow I think maybe I am getting the short end of the stick LOL.


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## vacationhopeful (Aug 26, 2008)

I have a few timeshare fixed weeks and some points.  As the maintenance fees for the fixed weeks start hitting my mailbox in the next 2 months, it reminds me those nice condos that I camp out in South Florida in February are NOT free.

As I pack my bag to go to the airport in 28F degree weather and friends & family say how they, too, should head south, I remind them that it is NOT FREE.  I split the cost of the maintenance fees(a simple 50/50), take the MBR (or the owners unit of the lockout), and sorta expect a dinner or two.  Dinners are a "Thank you" gift (esp if you check the price of hotels rooms with oceanview in winter in FL. ). 

_The prepaid 50/50 split is the COST of your bed, my MBR (owners unit) is my owning the place, and the THANK YOU dinner(s), mean thank you for allowing me to share your space._


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## caribbean (Aug 26, 2008)

We usually travel alone. But on the few occassions when others have accompanied us, we have split actual costs of the MF, food, and rental car and paid our own air travel costs. Seems like most of the people that travel with us are better off financially than we, so it only seems reasonable that we split the costs. The few close friends and family that have gone with us know we have bought the TS very cheaply, but that there are annual fees associated with their usage and have always asked what their share is.


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## pwrshift (Aug 26, 2008)

Just rent it ... let them all fend for themselves.  

Joking, of course, as I'm in the same boat with all of you.  People don't appreciate that there is a cost to having a TS and you inviting them to come along is looked upon as a nice gift to them!  Same for Marriott Reward Points -- it really bugs me that people would love to take a business class flight and assume it is 'free' to me as well as them.

The TS for your son is your gift, I would think, so take full credit for it.

Brian


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## vkrn (Aug 26, 2008)

I have often traveled with a friend or two. Usually, I figure up how much it would cost (MF or points rental) and divide by two. They pay half and we also split the other costs (car, groceries, etc).

I give my kids a week each year if they want it. I don't care who they take with them. Next year my daughter is taking her in-laws to MB. 

We did a family week at MB this year and I paid for everything. We all drove separately, so they paid for own travel. The kids did split the cost of groceries. I paid for the family trip to the aquarium and a couple of other outings. They paid for anything they did on their own.

Timesharing is good for our group.


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## rapmarks (Aug 26, 2008)

I usually don't accept anything when people join us on a timeshare.  If they take us out to dinner one night, that is fine.  We have lots of people come and stay with us in our home.  My family will always treat us to dinner or something, a lot of casual friends do not do that.  One couple came for the weekend, and gave us a jar of homemade pickles.  We live in a timeshare resort in Wisconsin and in a regular resort in Florida too.  

Here are two things that bug me:
If I happen to get discount coupons or 2 for ones that are only good on certain days, they think I should just get them for the day they want to go instead.  (such as Labor Day weekend).

People say they will join us and back out at the last minute.  
Here is a really good one:  a couple had backed out on Door county trip.  Then, We invited them to a place on Anna Maria Island, it had a bedroom , a den with sofa sleeper, two bathrooms.  they told me emphatically they were not gong to sleep on a sofa sleeper and they needed two bedrooms.  He also said that he likes walking around naked.  I told him I prefer not to see him that way.  Guess who I won't invite again.


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## luv2vacation (Aug 26, 2008)

I, along with Pammex, seem to be getting the short end of the stick.  I love my big sis dearly but I ALWAYS absorb all of the expenses.  She has NEVER even offered to contribute to the costs of the TS (MF, exchange fees, etc.).  We drive the majority of the time, no offer of gas money.  If we do fly and rent a car, she'll pay her airfare but nothing towards car (gas, rental).  Usually, groceries and eating out, she's always a few dollars short of her fair share.  (Hubby won't get separate checks eating out, too much trouble for him.  He'd rather just absorb the costs.)

I invite her every time we have a 2 BR unit - I enjoy her company and love and enjoy her granddaughter (10, whom she always brings with her).  The little one also LOVES to vacation, which makes me happy.

Sometimes, though, I stop and think about it.  And I can't believe how wonderful Hubby is about it all.  He has the patience of a saint.

When my mom was still alive and we would do these trips with the whole family, she'd make my dad reimburse my MF and exchange fees.  She knew they could afford it (better than me) and it was her treat to the whole family - and she loved those family trips.


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## luv2vacation (Aug 26, 2008)

rapmarks said:


> Then, We invited them to a place on Anna Maria Island, it had a bedroom , a den with sofa sleeper, two bathrooms.  they told me emphatically they were not gong to sleep on a sofa sleeper and they needed two bedrooms.  He also said that he likes walking around naked.  I told him I prefer not to see him that way.  Guess who I won't invite again.



I don't know why not - I think I'd like to see how he manages to walk around with the size of those 'cojones'.


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## ownsmany (Aug 26, 2008)

I usually foot the bill for all the mf for immediate family members.  I figure I'd have to pay them anyway, and it is a nice treat for my bros & sis.  We travel a lot with one brother and he was always generous to take us all to a nice dinner.  I normally try to get a couple of TS units - then everyone buys own food in the units.  (I like a little privacy also).  Sometimes we all share a big unit, but with all the kids - sometimes it gets to be a lot.

My siblings have offered to pay for the unit, but I don't feel right - considering I'd have to pay anyway.  Maybe once I scale down on the number of ts - I will start to accept their offers.

If I don't go on the trip (ie its for them and their friends) I'll ask for the exchange fee and guest cert.

Glad I can afford (at this point) to be able to give a weeks vk to any of them.  I'm sure times will change though as always treats of layoffs at work.


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## JMM (Aug 26, 2008)

*Sharing a Timeshare*

When I invite family, I do not ask for any money for the MF.  Everyone pays his/her own air fare and we share the cost of food and transportation to and from the airport.  Activities and side trips are the responsibility of the individual. I do not know how it is with many timeshare owners, but my family, cousins, aunts, uncles, have never come with me to Mexico (Cancun).   

When I invite friends, each person chips in two hundred dollars toward the MF.  Since I limit the number in a two-bedroom villa to 4, I can expect only six hundred dollars toward my total MF.  However, I enjoy having my friends and so I do not mind.

One year when I wanted to spend two weeks in Mexico, four of us rented a villa the previous week.  It cost each of us over four hundred dollars.  So, my friends are still getting a bargain.

My guests pay me immediately after Thanksgiving.  My time is the end of February and the payment comes due in December.  If something happens and my guests cannot go, I will give them the money back.  So far, this has not occurred.  

If I have already experienced an activity or event, I let my visitors know well in advance so that I am not expected to accompany them. I cannot afford to pay for nor am I inclined to repeat certain side trips or guided tours with big fees.  

JMM


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## mpizza (Aug 27, 2008)

When I invite my extended family, I absorb the maintenance fee for their unit.  I enjoy traveling my sister, her family and my Mom.  My sister always offers to contribute, but has a limited budget.  She (and her husband) do so much for me and my Mom throughout the year, it is great to be able to share relaxing, quality time with them.  That's exactly why I bought a timeshare.  

If I invite my children or friends to share a unit with me, I figure I'm going anyway, so I don't ask for reimbursement.  My friends always take us to an extragravant dinner as a thank-you treat.

If my children ask for an extra week, I explain the mechanics of trading and the cost.  They decide if they want to purchase a travel package or go the timeshare route. 

Maria


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## RDB (Aug 28, 2008)

pammex said:


> Boy am I doing something wrong.....
> 
> Other friends and family just think it is all free.....maybe take us out to eat for a dinner or such...and others tell me yes we are going and then reneg at last minute...I must be doing smething wrong...LOL
> 
> Oh well, we are going anyway...but I am going to have to mull this post over for awhile, somehow I think maybe I am getting the short end of the stick LOL.



*Let them pay (non-refundable) up front and see if they reneg!*

Of course if you were going anyway and you really want to go without them...


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## jehb2 (Aug 31, 2008)

I've taken my sister and mom to Hawaii a couple of times and she insist that she and my mom pay their share.  (car, gas, and anything I buy in which they all benefit.)  Plus she always gets me a nice gift.   

My husband's family told us before hand that they were paying for all of our food.  My brother-n-law had budgeted eating out for all meals for 6 people for  weeks. He was ecstatic to learn that we cook most of our meals and went crazy when we took him to Costco.  He's a great cook and loves to cook.  He cooked breakfast to order no matter when you got up. (6am for me 2pm for my husband)

It never occurred to me to charge friends and family mf.  I figure I have to pay for it anyway and it's really no real extra cost to me.  I would definitely expect for them to pay for their own food , air fare, and activities.


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## lprstn (Aug 31, 2008)

When we travel with family they buy the food/rent the car and we pay the MFs.  Now for my kids, I'll just pay the MFs for them and they will pay the trade fee (hey, nothing if free).  As for friends who want to use it...If they want me to book them a specific week through my TS that I own, they pay for it in full (MF + $150 profit for me).  If I have a week I can't use, I just charge them the transfer fee and the guest cert...sometimes they get angry when they want to book a specific trip and I can't give it to them for that price, and I say oh well, book it online.


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## TerriJ (Aug 31, 2008)

Very interesting.  When I have taken family and friends, I have always taken care of all the TS costs and figured it was my treat.  Usually my mom or others would pay for the food and or gas and we split up the rest.  We did provide a TS for our son's honeymoon trip, in addition to our wedding gift to them.

It's fun to see all the different viewpoints on this topic.


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## nana7 (Aug 31, 2008)

When we travel with friends we usually ask for part of the maintence fees.
We bought back in the days when we had nothing...then could have also.
When we take family, kids and grand kids...it is on us.   That is a large enough group.


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## beanb41 (Sep 1, 2008)

When we invite close family to join *us* on holiday we pay the M/F. When we plan a joint holiday whether it be friends or family we cost the M/F into the equation. Never had a problem.


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