# Senior Week Ocean City, MD



## senorak (Jan 11, 2008)

I need some info/advice.....my oldest,  (turning 18 in a few weeks), is graduating this year.  Back in the summer, I booked 2 units at OLCC for July 4th week of '08---and said that he could take along 2-3 friends and the trip would be in place of his attending "senior week" at the shore (either NJ or MD).  He agreed....and I currently have 2 units booked on exchange (3BR and 2BR).

NOW.....his friends have talked him into going to the "official senior week" in Ocean City, MD.  They have already started searching for houses to rent.  (Seriously, what person in their right mind would rent their beach house to a bunch of recently graduated high school seniors????).  When I reminded him of our "deal"; he said he "hoped he could do both weeks".  Well, call me a bit over protective...but I don't want him in the "senior week" environment.  He has not given us any trouble, (thus far), re:  drinking, drugs, etc.  However, I am not naive enough to believe that if put in an environment where the main objective is to drink (heavily), party 24/7, etc....that he will abstain from such activities. 

For those of you who have (recently) had to decide whether or not to allow your child to attend senior week, could you offer some advice (both pro and con)?  I know my son will be 18 and a "legal adult"....but he is by no means "of legal drinking age", and while his friends are great guys/girls....I really don't approve of the "unsupervised" nature of the trip.  It seems many parents don't give it a second thought....they simply see this as a "right of passage".  Thoughts?

DEB


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## tomandrobin (Jan 11, 2008)

We didn't allow the oldest to go and both of the younger kids are not going either. We hace a deal to take the kids some place nice, of their choosing, to celebrate graduation. 

The oldest went to Cancun, the middle child graduated next year and is going to St. John, the youngest graduates in 3.5 years. 

Things have gotten so out of hand on those senior week trips. We rather spend a little extra money having a memerable trip, then allow them to go to senior week.


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## JudyH (Jan 11, 2008)

Both of mine went to OC Maryland.  I wasn't happy about it, but I did it anyway.  They were and are good kids.  I was more worried about some one driving drunk than the partying.  I work with teens and I know how much nonstop partying and sex goes on.
My oldest was pretty shy around girls and never had a girlfriend.  I wasn't too concerned about what would happen.  When he came home, there were several wrapped condoms laying on his bed, he said they came taped to the pizza boxes!

My other son  had a new girlfriend who did not go, he's a really picky eater and drinker and I wasn't too worried what he would do.  He asked ahead of time what would happen if he got his tongue pierced or a tattoo and I just asked how badly he wanted to keep his new pickup truck.  However, he did get his ear and (gross) nipple pierced.  Eight years later, the earring is gone, the other's still there, and he's married to the girl.  He did bring home from OC a carton of all kinds of booze which he said the guys just left as they cleared out of the condo.

If my kids had had any behavior issues or trust issues I wouldn't have let them go.  I really do hear horror stories from the kids I work with.


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## cerralee (Jan 13, 2008)

Here is my story-A couple of years ago my son wanted to use my timeshare for "Senior week" in Ocean City.  He had never given me any trouble with drinking, etc.,.  He wanted to take along friends so I swapped my July 4th Oc week for a week a couple of weeks earlier as that is when his school was going to do the OC senior week thing.

The unit slept eight and he along with his buddies got "the lecture" and were told that if they screwed up it was up to them to straighten it out.  About four days before they were to leave I found out from another mother that her daughter and a few of the girls were staying at the timeshare too.  My son too was not to my knowledge girl happy and it appeared to be what they all were up to.  I gave him warning number two as I now knew they were over the limit with how many people could be in the unit-only by a few and they were not supposed to all be there at the same time. In the unit were the validictorian, salutatorian and most of the "good kids" out of his class.

The crew packed up and left, and I think were in the unit for about three hours before they were told to leave by the on site security department.  Other seniors who were staying at other apartments stopped by and I'm sure there were quite a few of them in the unit.  They did have alcohol and the security guard told me he was doing them a favor by not hauling them before the majestrate and having them cited when he called to tell me he was evicting them.

They were all evicted, and my son slept on the beach and lived out of a car for a week.  He was determined they were not coming home.  He did stay a couple of nights with some of the other kids who had accomodations (I would not call them condos).

The next year my daughter graduated, her class also did the OC senior week thing but luckily my daughter was going to summer school at her new college and had to miss it .  My heart was broken.

We used our unit ourselves, hubby and me, and the guy that was on call for security and maintenance came on the first day to fix the refrigerator which would not close.  He was bragging about how the management there loved to rent out to kids for senior week and then see how fast they could get them thrown out.  He said he had thrown out ten groups within three hours the week before.  He actually said they would wait until about ten o'clock at night, let them get there stuff in and then he and several other guys would go raid the units.  That they would compete to see who could get their floor cleared first.  It really pissed me off.  They know when the kids come that they are there for senior week.  The place only has three floors and about six units a floor.  He said they management puts them up in a unit for the month for the sole purpose of renting to the seniors and then throwing them out as fast as possible.  Be upfront with the kids.  There are plenty of places that rent to the seniors and don't make it their line of work to throw them out.  If your son goes I think the places nearer the boardwalk are more senior friendly.  Make sure he gets a reccomendation first before they rent.


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## janapur (Jan 13, 2008)

I'm so glad that we don't have this senior week in MN . . . yet! I think the wild streak must skip a generation, as my 18 yr old is nothing like his mom.  

Jana


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## DeniseM (Jan 13, 2008)

One of my friend's daughters went on an unsanctioned Sr. trip to Mexico.  One of the boys got drunk and fell off a beach cliff and died.  All the kids were in jail for several days before the parents found out and went down there to get them out.  It cost the parents a lot of money, being in jail was horrible, and of course, worst of all, a young man lost his life.  

That's an extreme situation, but no way would I let my kids go on one of these trips.


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## laura1957 (Jan 14, 2008)

DeniseM said:


> One of my friend's daughters went on an unsanctioned Sr. trip to Mexico.  One of the boys got drunk and fell off a beach cliff and died.  All the kids were in jail for several days before the parents found out and went down there to get them out.  It cost the parents a lot of money, being in jail was horrible, and of course, worst of all, a young man lost his life.
> 
> That's an extreme situation, but no way would I let my kids go on one of these trips.




And we have all heard the name Natalie Holloway.  Kids just dont think anything will ever happen to them.


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## sstamm (Jan 14, 2008)

I have a daughter who is a senior also, and everyone here also goes to Ocean City.  I pretty much told my daughter several years ago that I could not imagine the circumstance under which I would let her go.

Several of my friends have let their children go, and their logic escapes me.  They say, "Well in 2 months they'll be going off to college and we'll have no control anyway."  Um, so that's a reason to let them go NOW with no supervision and the goal is to get drunk all day??

Also, "I trust my child."  Well I trust my daughter too, but that is no reason to put her in a position where things will be knowingly out of control.  And even the "good" kids can find themselves in a bad position.  And what about the other thousands of partiers about whom you know nothing?  Do you trust them not to do something stupid that may affect your child??

She pretty much accepts that she is not going, and probably can gain some good hours at work while "everyone else" is gone!  We'll try to work out some alternative for her and her friends or doing something special with the family.

I will say, as a parent, I seem to be in the minority around here in that I oppose this type of trip, and that definitely makes it difficult.  Where I grew up, western PA, there was no senior trip of this type.  Many of the parents here remember going as seniors.  Which to me would be the number 1 reason NOT to let their kids go- they know exactly what goes on, because they did it!!

I feel like I'm back in school, with the "peer pressure" of the other parents who let their kids do this.

Actually I expect much more of a battle when Daughter #2 graduates in 2 more years!


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## Emily (Jan 14, 2008)

OC senior week . . . . 

If parents could see what their kids and other kids were doing, I can't believe they would let them go.  I won't believe that anyone has raised their child to behave this way or that these are somehow bad kids.  Too much drink, too much drugs, lots of hormones & freedom and nobody watching until the OC police comes along.

Its not just your kids & their friends but then they meet up with other hs seniors from other schools.  And then the older 20yo+ guys come into town looking for the young girls that just graduated and  . .  Most people have a limited view of senior week.

When I was young (9), my older brother went to senior week and lost my dad's car.  It took over a week for the OC police to find it.  We were out of town and he wasn't even suppose to be there.  He probably wouldn't have gotten caught except he lost the car and finally had to tell the truth.

I don't think this is about trust or young people that know how to act.  Its a risky and often times, dangerous event.


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## senorak (Jan 14, 2008)

Thanks for all the insight.  I identify with the above poster re:  being in the minority opinion questioning my child attending senior week.  Even my own mother can't believe that I would hesitate to let him "enjoy this right of passage".  Of course, I'm getting the old "but everyone else's parents are letting them go".  Well, I'm planning on talking to each of "everyone else's" parents....to see what the true story is.  I can't believe that they are just giving their approval and not calling other parents to find out all the information---where staying, who's going, who's driving, etc.  Am I the only parent who is questioning this trip???

My son did give me information as to where they'd like to stay---some place/resort called "Parrot Lagoon/Key West"....which apparently has several different types of accomodations...their choice being the "boca chica" condo which sleeps up to 14.  I did check out their website, and they do rent to families; as well as seniors during June.  They also have a detailed agreement which must be signed by the student and their parent....which have some rules that I like (only guests of the resort can be admitted after 10 p.m., mid-week check of the unit, etc.)...but I don't know how well these rules are enforced.  

It just seems to me to be an "anything goes" atmosphere in OC the entire month of June.  And yes, I am worried about other students, and their reckless behavior somehow impacting on my child.  I just see it as a "mob mentality".....and though the "Horror stories" may be few....what if it is your child????  

I have a lot to think about.  Thanks for listening and offering advice.

Deb


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## Blondie (Jan 14, 2008)

I teach high school. Shocking though it may seem,valedictorians, salutatorians, and the "good" kids in schools have been known to imbibe and or use drugs. These really are "good" kids but, the group mentality diminishes in direct proportion to the number of beer bottles on the premises and, well, you get the picture. Believe me, not all parents let their kids go so don't let your son guilt you into it that way. And,  some of those who do let their kids go do so because (I am likely going to get clobbered here) they can't put their foot down and do the right thing- it is too hard so they just give in and hope for the best.  I have raised two kids both in their late twenties now. Never did they go on a trip like this either in high school or college. It is asking for trouble.


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## elaine (Jan 14, 2008)

*haven't read the posts--but from a Mom--what goes on*

from my friend re. her son's senior week at OC, MD----drinking, S*x--need I say more???  What I would do (my oldest is 10)---if she insisted on going and was a half-way decent kid--I would go too and be in the house the entire week--that's it--final answer!!
ps--I was one of the good/but cool kids 25 years ago in Fla and we had the senior weeks--(and as Blondie said--good kids get in trouble--not me--but I saw PLENTY of it)--trust me--you need a responsible Mom or DAd in the condo-house or don't let your kids go!!!


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## Blondie (Jan 14, 2008)

Boy- tuggers are so smart!!!


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## joycapecod (Jan 14, 2008)

My niece graduates this year. She is a very young 18 and wanted to do senior week in OC. Since she is my only niece and since I had taken her brother on a graduation trip in lieu of his doing the senior week thing I told her if she would not do senior week I would take her wherever she wanted to go.

We are going to San Francisco the week of August 14-21...thank heaven. She could has picked something far more difficult...like London, or Dublin, Edinburgh!!!

I can't imagine letting a group of 18 year old in a timeshare unsupervised. First of all aren't they too young to be on a guest certificate? I thought most resorts had an age of 21 or older and wouldn't the person making the arrangements be responsible for the damages. Maybe I'm being niave, but why would someone want to take that responsibility?

Joy


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## senorak (Jan 14, 2008)

That's the whole reason that I offered my son the trip to Orlando w/ a few friends.....it would be supervised, as we,  (parents and 2 other children), would be in one unit; with my son and his 2-3 friends in another unit.  The older ones would be on "their own"---able to enjoy the ammenities of OLCC, and perhaps one of the many parks/attractions that Orlando has to offer---and yet, still have supervision of "Mom" and "Dad" nearby.(We did a similar trip this past summer to Hilton Head---my son brought along a friend and they shared a 1BR unit; while we stayed downstairs in a 2 BR unit.  The older boys actually spent the majority of time w/ the rest of the family...but still enjoyed some "freedom" on the beach and at Coligny plaza).  

I thought I had avoided the whole  idea of the "senior week" at the shore (be it NJ shore or OC, Maryland)...until my son approached me last week with the request to do both activities.  

Blondie, I am a teacher, as well......so many of the stories that I hear about senior week are from former students and/or siblings of former students.  Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, my son (and his friends), are of the mindframe that "nothing bad will happen to me".  

Deb


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## JudyH (Jan 14, 2008)

Trust me, his life will not be ruined if you just say no.  Ok, maybe for a week or two.......  And it appears that he asked you, rather than telling you he was going.  Maybe it would be a relief and facesaving  for him if you are the bad guy, its not his decision, and he can get out of the peer pressure.


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## sstamm (Jan 15, 2008)

senorak said:


> Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, my son (and his friends), are of the mindframe that "nothing bad will happen to me".
> 
> Deb



In my mind, this is one of the biggest problems with "senior week."  These kids have just graduated, they think the whole world is wide open to them, the possibilities are endless, etc.  Weren't they just told these things in the commencement addresses?  They are caught up in the moment and feel invincible.  And then to send them off with a thousand other kids who feel the same way?  All experiencing the same first taste of independence?  A recipe for disaster in my opinion, even for (and maybe especially for) the "good" kids.

It is, however, very hard to hold your ground in the face of so many being allowed to do this.  And pretty much the kids are right- everyone  else IS going.

Senorak, I think the Orlando trip sounds great- some freedom but not completely unsupervised.

Be strong and hold your ground!!


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## sstamm (Jan 15, 2008)

Blondie said:


> I teach high school. Shocking though it may seem,valedictorians, salutatorians, and the "good" kids in schools have been known to imbibe and or use drugs. These really are "good" kids but, the group mentality diminishes in direct proportion to the number of beer bottles on the premises and, well, you get the picture.



Exactly.  It really isn't about how "good" or "not good" the kids are.  It is all about the attitude and the environment.

I feel like that lady who sold her son's car after several weeks because he did not adhere to the no alcohol rule-  just call me the Meanest Mom on the planet!


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## tomandrobin (Jan 15, 2008)

I agree, stand your ground. Even "good" kids get caught up in the group mentallity and perr pressure. 

I have seen and heard of all the horror stories also. Plus, the way kids feel that they are empowered and out of control at these days. Things were wild 25 years ago when we graduated. With everything going on in the world these days, I could only imagine.


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## Patri (Jan 16, 2008)

My fourth graduates this year. Like her siblings, she will not be going to OC. I have let them go down later in the summer with a small group of close friends or a family.
From our school, one girl came back pregnant from a one-night stand. Some of the boys have said they go down for the sex. Many definitely look forward to the drinking.
I also worry about the driving down and back, and what others will do there that will impact my kids. The complacency of other parents appalls me. While we support our kids through college, etc. they abide by our rules. They are sensible and good, but I don't pretend they couldn't get caught up in the party atmosphere.


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## wackymother (Jan 16, 2008)

Blondie said:


> I teach high school. Shocking though it may seem,valedictorians, salutatorians, and the "good" kids in schools have been known to imbibe and or use drugs. These really are "good" kids but, the group mentality diminishes in direct proportion to the number of beer bottles on the premises and, well, you get the picture. Believe me, not all parents let their kids go so don't let your son guilt you into it that way. And,  some of those who do let their kids go do so because (I am likely going to get clobbered here) they can't put their foot down and do the right thing- it is too hard so they just give in and hope for the best.  I have raised two kids both in their late twenties now. Never did they go on a trip like this either in high school or college. It is asking for trouble.



Just wanted to second this. My good friend's DD graduated from a girls' Catholic HS two years ago. At that school, the trip is not Senior Week, but a trip to the Jersey Shore for a long weekend, leaving from the senior prom. This is a Catholic girls' school...and the PARENTS were renting the houses for the girls to spend a weekend in May at the shore with their prom dates! No adults, just a bunch of 17- and 18-year-old kids!

My friend, who is a very loving but also very indulgent mother, absolutely put her foot down over this and said NO WAY. Would you believe that only three other girls' parents said no, too? Four girls out of a class of about 150!

Fortunately, one of the other fathers called up my friend and said that he would hire a limousine to take the four girls and their dates to Six Flags, he would pay for all eight of them to spend the day at the amusement park, he would pay for the limo home. That was how he handled not allowing his daughter to go to the shore. 

In the end, I think my friend's DD was actually glad that she didn't "have to" go to the shore, as her friends were pressuring her to do.


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## senorak (Jan 18, 2008)

*Decision made; son ostracized*

Well....I stood my ground, and told my son why I was *not* giving him permission to go on the week long trip to OC, Maryland.  I stressed the reasons had nothing to do with him, per se....but rather the "24/7 party atmosphere" and total lack of supervision for the week.  He argued...to a point....but seemed to accept my decision.  He also asked if I would talk to the parents of the boys he is planning on inviting to Florida.  After talking w/ one mother about the Florida trip, (and her son was planning to go to OC senior week), she shared her concerns re:  senior week, and I told her that I was not letting my son go...and why.  Well, she ended up telling her son he couldn't go, either.  (Actually, I think it came down to $$---he could either attend senior week or the Florida trip...and the mom chose Florida).  You can imagine the "outcry" from the other boys planning to go to OC---now 2 of their "roommates" are backing out---my son and this other boy.  And, of course, my son and myself are being blamed as the cause.  And yes, all of his other friends/aquaintances are going to senior week (whether it's OC, Maryland or the Jersey Shore).  My son is now being ostracized.....he told me that yesterday, there was "no room" for him at his usual lunch table.  His friends are very angry with me.....and our house, which in the past, has been filled with his friends after school, is now empty.  (yes, I know...that is a good thing re:  noise level and general cleanliness....but it is devastating to my son).  He also said that several of the other moms are going to be calling me....as they think this senior trip is a "right" for all seniors...and I am being "too protective" and "unjustly worried" about such a trip.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, even my own mother thinks I should let him go....and it wouldn't surprise me if she went behind my back and gave him the money to go.  (This was another reason for saying no....he needed $250 deposit on the house....and I told him I wasn't paying and he currently has no money).

I can see where other parents "give in" and allow their children to go.  The peer pressure...from both the teens and their parents....is unbelievable.  I actually cried myself to sleep last night---it pains me to know that my son's friends are now treating him this way.  And although I know I made the right decision.....I am "second guessing" myself.

Deb


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## tomandrobin (Jan 18, 2008)

Deb 

Hang in there, it will at work out in the end! Toughest job in the world is being a good parent. And you are being a very good parent. 

Its really sad to see that most parents are under control of thier kids, instead of the other way around. 

Tom


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## davhu1 (Jan 18, 2008)

DEB,

Good for you to stand your ground.  As a good parent, we sometimes have to make decisions that our kids do not like and the outcome of that decision is not appearant.

Not everyone goes to OC.  My boy did not even bring it up and none of his friends went.  He did asked for a ts in VT next year for him and his friends and my excuse is that he has to be 21 to check in.  I will let him go in his senior year in college.

My friend is going thru that now.  He told his daughter he will not co-sign a rental contract. She can go only if they (the parent) go also, and will make arrangement for it.

I have a condo in OC and do not rent to anyone under 21.  Here is a story from another rental unit:  A parent signed a rental agreement for his son.  The son was a responsible person and so were his friends.  They helped him and his sons friends check-in and left.  When the maid went in for cleaning, she found the place destroyed.  The condo manager and the police were called. The unit was seled until the person who signed the rental agreement was contacted.  When the father saw the extent of the damage, he cried.  He had to paid for repairs and lost of rental income that cost him over $46,000.  That was about 8 years ago.  Today will cost over $100,000.  Accodring to the son, the damage was done by kids they met at the beach.

Ask your son if the action of your sons friends are the friends he like to keep?  If you feel really bad, may be you can offer an alternate trip or activity where he and his friend can spent asome time together before leaving for college.

One day he may thank you!


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## senorak (Jan 18, 2008)

An alternate trip is already planned...that's the one to Orlando at OLCC.  He can bring up to 3 friends, and I will pay their airfare.  The boys will have their own 2BR unit; while the rest of the family is in a 3BR unit.  We pay for food (doing most of the cooking in our units); while the friends will have to pay for any "entrance fees" should they decide to go to Universal or another park.  They will have plenty of "freedom"...and yet still be "supervised" by mom & dad.  OLCC has so many activities, pools, etc. to choose from...and is such a large complex, that they will have lots of time to "be on their own"...yet in a more positive environment that senior week at OC. 

Thanks for the support.

DEB


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## sstamm (Jan 18, 2008)

Deb,
You are doing the right thing.  I understand how difficult it is to buck the system, but your reasoning is valid.  Hopefully the backlash will blow over.  I also know how hard it is to see your son be treated poorly by his friends, but don't let that sway you.  Your job is to be his parent, not his friend.  I always hope that my children will someday realize that my decisions have not been made to try and make them miserable, but because I have to do what I feel is best for them.

You have made a very generous offer to your son for an alternative to senior week.

My daughter has not brought it up again, but I know you thought you were in the clear, too.  I may be back here looking for support  if I get the hard press from her and the other parents.  I've already had several parents question why I will not allow her to go, because "they all do it."

Good for you for doing the right thing!!


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## wackymother (Jan 18, 2008)

It is very hard being a parent.


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