# Bringing Friends - What do you charge?



## Former Cruiser (Jul 30, 2011)

This will be our first time bringing friends with us to a timeshare.  We booked an exchange into Marriott Surf Club, 2 bd., 2 ba for April of next year.  What do you usually charge for your friends to come?  My first inclination is to charge nothing as we would have incurred the cost whether or not they would have come.  However, I don't think they're going to go for that.  What do you suggest?  Thanks.


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## joycapecod (Jul 30, 2011)

Former Cruiser said:


> This will be our first time bringing friends with us to a timeshare.  We booked an exchange into Marriott Surf Club, 2 bd., 2 ba for April of next year.  What do you usually charge for your friends to come?  My first inclination is to charge nothing as we would have incurred the cost whether or not they would have come.  However, I don't think they're going to go for that.  What do you suggest?  Thanks.



Since you are inclined to ask for nothing I would suggest that if they bring up the subject to just say something like "We were going and it is of no more cost to us to have you accompany us. If you really feel it necessary to help pay, then whatever you feel like contributing is more than enough." Or like I do with a friend who is not in as good a financial place as I, she treats me to a nice dinner out and that is her contribution. It works for me and her and I get to not travel alone.

Joy


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## lprstn (Jul 30, 2011)

I usually charge 1/2 of my MFs Friends coming is nice but if you keep giving it away for free, they expect it. Now if you just want them to come and don't care then don't charge.


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## laurac260 (Jul 30, 2011)

I would never invite someone to my timeshare and expect them to pay, but conversely I would also never go in a trip on someone else's dime and not offer up some sort of compensation ... Splitting the groceries, picking up one or two dinners out, etc.  When our in-laws came with us I would have just been happy if they had offered babysitting services for one evening so me and the Mr could have gone out to dinner.


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## vacationhopeful (Jul 30, 2011)

Your first gut reaction is "they are my friends, I want to treat them". I always state to family and friends, my costs for this vacation condo is $99$$. If you want to split the costs, I would love to have you come along. Esp as I have a 2bdr/2ba unit. When a guest is sleeping on the pullout I would say, "This is a great resort, but I have a large 1bdr with a good sofabed open. If you want to come along, is $$xyz okay."

I have found it very uncomfortable to offer free stays for friends and family -- and then feel as if I was just their inn keeper. When the hints start for my next trip, there is bad blood and hurt feelings, when I don't say -- of course, come along OR try to change the ground rules.

If I am giving a trip to someone, that is my choice. RE: my brother and his wife tagged along to Chicago -- I invited and stated, it's a cramped room but would love to have you. I suggested they find some tickets to the Cubs and White Sox games (very high on their lists of great times; usually very low on mine). Or I send them without me, on a freebie. Brother & SIL would have gone to the games anyway, except they would try to pickup tickets at the park from distressed sellers and/or paid for bleacher seats at the White Soxs games.

Now for my "Every 5 Years Birthday Party Weeks" with my siblings and their spouses, I provide the condos, please show up. I have already booked 2 weeks in Kauai in April 2012. And sent out the invites in May. Should have very good attendance.

Others on TUG feel very different. You will get a lot of viewpoints.


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## Conan (Jul 30, 2011)

I wouldn't charge a friend if I'm traveling with them.  They have paid for the rental car (and once for a limo to the airport) which I think is fair enough.


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## Talent312 (Jul 30, 2011)

True, it costs the same $$, whether friends (or relates) join us or not.
But it does cost in other ways: Privacy, time, and inane conversation.

_I feel it reasonable to be compensated for that._

Unfortunately, my DW has a habit of issuing unconditional invites to
folks in whose company I do not want to spend more than four hours,
not to mention a week. _<sigh>_

But at least we split groceries, dining out and ancillary entertainment.


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## pittle (Jul 30, 2011)

My siblings and best friends insist on paying 1/2 a maintenance fee whenever they join us.  They know that we are paying anyway, but want to pay for part of a great vacation. They say they know that because of our upfront costs, they are getting an awesome deal.

Of course we do not charge our grown kids even when they timeshare without us or when we need an extra unit for a family vacation.  Occasionally,  our "kids" will ask if friends can join us all on our annual family vacations, and I need more units, so I charge the friends 1/2 a maintenance fee and put our "kids" with their friends. A couple of times I have needed 3 2-bedroom units for one vacation because the kids friends came.  I would have needed 2 unts without the extras.


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## Bucky (Jul 30, 2011)

I've never even thought of asking for any compensation.  That said, I have shared the cost of a rental car with them and let them buy us a dinner or two while on vacation.  If we didn't want them with us we wouldn't have invited them.


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## bogey21 (Jul 30, 2011)

Back when my wife (now ex-wife) and I were in this situation we always covered the accommodations.  If someone asked about sharing the costs, I would say something like "you can help with the food and booze if you like".

George


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## KauaiMark (Jul 30, 2011)

*Friends*



Former Cruiser said:


> This will be our first time bringing friends with us to a timeshare.  ....  What do you usually charge for your friends to come?   Thanks.



Our last three trips to Kauai, we've invited different friends and relatives to stay with us. We didn't charge them anything but they choose on their own to pick up car rentals, boat, helicopter or fishing trip tours as a "thank you". 

On our last trip with friends, our guests bought an "encore week" for 2012 and invited us to stay WITH THEM. 

Good deal for everyone all around


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## sstug (Jul 30, 2011)

I bought my 2 bedroom timeshares to be able to travel with friends and still have some privacy.  Since one bedroom locks off and I could take 2 separate vacations (or rent it) I do feel there is an additional cost if a friend joins me.  They have a private bedroom and bathroom.  Given this I expect half of my maintenance fees. 

I got burned by one friend because I didn't state up front that I expected her to pay towards the accomodations (and she avoided ever giving me an opportunity to bring it up).  Every other family member or friend has been very willing to split the costs.  I used to travel regularly with one friend who made significantly less than I did so I would charge her nothing or a nominal amount.  This was easy because she always said "just tell me how much I owe".  I view the maintenance fee the same as the cost of a hotel (but cheaper).  If I stayed in a hotel with a friend I would expect them to share the cost so I expect the same with my timeshare. But this is only the ongoing annual fee - the original cost of the timeshare I would never expect someone to contribute towards.  I've learned if they don't offer to pay something then they are not people I want to spend my vacation with.

As a single person I don't feel that I should be providing a free vacation to a friend just because I own a timeshare.  Having said that, I've also given away a few weeks.  What it boils down to for me is the more willing someone is to share the cost, the less I care if they pay.  I learned my lesson to be clear up front about costs.

Sheila


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## jme (Jul 30, 2011)

laurac260 said:


> I would never invite someone to my timeshare and expect them to pay, but conversely I would also never go in a trip on someone else's dime and not offer up some sort of compensation ... Splitting the groceries, picking up one or two dinners out, etc.  When our in-laws came with us I would have just been happy if they had offered babysitting services for one evening so me and the Mr could have gone out to dinner.



Hmmmm..... noticing that you're still a guest here.


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## aandmrun (Jul 30, 2011)

*If I invite they are my guests*

If I invite friends and/or family, they are my guests and I do not expect them to pay for the stay.  They do, however, usually pick up a restaurant tab or contribute to groceries or drinks.  That I accept.  Now, if we "plan" a trip together, as we have done with friends and "II getaways", then we share the cost of the "getaway" equally.  It all depends on how the trip is planned, whether it is an "invite"(no cost to them) or a "planned trip" that we discuss way in advance of making. My husband and I have traveled with friends lots of times and it has always worked out for us.  It all has to do with the communication and understanding that happens *BEFORE* the trip.  Don't wait until costs come up before discussing them, because that might not work out.  The budget should be discussed in the trip planning, then everyone knows what to expect in advance.  All fun and games on the trips!


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## vacationhopeful (Jul 30, 2011)

vacationhopeful said:


> ...I have found it very uncomfortable to offer free stays for friends and family -- and then feel as if I was just their inn keeper. When the hints start for my next trip, there is bad blood and hurt feelings, when I don't say -- of course, come along OR try to change the ground rules.....



I currently have one couple on my J--k list. Maybe they will figure it out in another year or three. Stayed in my small lockoff side and complained I had the King bed while they had 2 double beds, moved to another resort to their own separate 2/2 and thought I had the better view (told them to pick the room key at checkin), and dragged their feet by 30 minutes late on the 10AM checkout time. They brought me 1 draft beer during the entire week.... after I stocked $120 of food and drink in the refrigerator ... And yes, they had agreed to paying 1/2 of the first unit's MFs and had asked how much from the food & drink in the refrigerators with an offer of, "We'll get half of that, too".


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## Wonka (Jul 30, 2011)

The maintenance fee on the timeshares I own (excluding special assessments which have been numerous and generally a $1000 or more) is almost $1000 a year.  

We've invited others to join us and I don't ask for reimbursement.  However, giving a week for others to use is another issue.  I'm in a situation where my daughter-in-law asked to use a week next month.  It was expiring anyway so I just asked them to pay the extension fee of $69.  But, I'd made it clear that my maintenance fee was $1000 each year.  I wouldn't ask for reimbursement of that, but I wanted her to understand weeks aren't "free" or almost nothing any longer.

However, I don't think it's at all reasonable to ask for reimbursement in any situation.  In the three exchanges I shared with people we met on a cruise, I asked for nothing but two of them payed for the rental car (which was also expensive) and one bought us a couple of meals.

I should add it might be different if my feelings for my DIL were different.  She seems to be a "user" of others, our relationship isn't all that good although my wife has a better relationship.  So, it might also depend on "who" is asking and "how".


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## LUVourMarriotts (Jul 30, 2011)

This has never come up with my friends that have come with us.  But we've never had friends come for the full week.  We don't expect anything, but they've always taken us out to a nice dinner.

We are not afraid to say no, but we don't really have any friends that would expect to come along anyway.


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## shagnut (Jul 30, 2011)

It depends on who it is also. If it's my neighbor they rent the car & I get the accomadations. When I took my "other family" to MB I didn't chage anything as he had just lost his job and just prayed I wouldn't get stuck buying lots of meals, etc. They had saved up for this trip all year so they had the money.

I will be taking my friend Kenny in Aug and don't expect him to pay as he is the one who usually watches the house when I'm gone and keeps my house up. Altho I always pay him I never pay what he is worth and I've always planned to take him to MB. If he ends up not going my other friend is going with me and she'll buy the gas and buy a nice meal.  

shaggy


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## NWL (Jul 30, 2011)

I asked this question a couple of years ago.  My situation is we own a 2bedroom lock-off and lock it off each year.  We use the 1 bedroom side and rent out the lock-off to earn money for the MFs.  I wondered if it was reasonable to ask a guest to contribute something for the use of the lock-off since we would not be able to rent it out.  The reviews were mixed. 

I found a good solution.  I exchanged the 1 bedroom for a 3 bedroom at another resort.     Everybody gets to come and I still have the lock-off to rent.  In exchange for the free accommodations for my sister, her husband, her 2 college age kids and my niece's boyfriend, I have a feeling my sister will pay for all the groceries and, knowing her, she'll probably do all of the cooking.  She's better at it anyway.

I think the determining factor is if you normally rent out the room your guests will be staying in or if it would just be empty during your vacation.

Cheers!


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## loafingcactus (Jul 30, 2011)

This is sort of uncharted territory for us since I'm the first person in my family to buy a timeshare and everyone is very "interested.". I've been working on putting together a little PowerPoint of what they can get out of my points and I what I expect back.  I set costs that I say right at the front of the PowerPoint may or may not be fair and give links to eBay, red week and tug, but which are what it would cost me to get the same value out of my week.  In some cases they are a "good deal", in some cases they aren't (I don't *really* want to give up my Charleston week, but if my sister really wants it enough...). I'm hoping this will make for Clear Communication.

So that's what they can ask me for.  I've already told one person they are getting a particular gift and we're planning another gift that's a longer-term plan.  And it is clear those are gifts.


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## MOXJO7282 (Jul 30, 2011)

When we first discovered Marriott TSs I pitched the idea to my SIL and her husband saying we could really receive tremendous value if we partnered together on a Marriott TS portfolio.  My dear SIL thought it made sense but her husband thought it was foolhardy. 

Well as things evolved we always invited them with us and they have have enjoyed numerous trips to HHI, Aruba and MOW. I would never think of charging them because I love my SIL tremendously and she is always offering to pay something but he never says a thing which definitely does bother me.

If I were him I would insist on paying something but in 6 trips he never has. Maybe he thinks because his wife offered he's covered. I know personally I would say something and insist on paying something but that is just me.

The truth is he's not much of a go getter so they don't have much money other than what she makes. 

Next month they are joining us in HHI but only because I'm paying for them to fly to Savahanna where we'll pick them up.  The husband has a bad back and can't drive, and it a little far for my SIL from Miami to make on her own so I insisted to pay for the flights that they couldn't afford.

I'm happy as hell to do it because they woman needs a vacation from this guy, my wife will be so happy to have her twin sister with us and we'll have much more fun without him so the extra $1000 it will cost me for them to come is well worth it.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jul 30, 2011)

Former Cruiser said:


> This will be our first time bringing friends with us to a timeshare.  We booked an exchange into Marriott Surf Club, 2 bd., 2 ba for April of next year.  What do you usually charge for your friends to come?  My first inclination is to charge nothing as we would have incurred the cost whether or not they would have come.  However, I don't think they're going to go for that.  What do you suggest?  Thanks.



I think this depends on how the "invitation" came up. If you asked them to join you, I don't think that you can go back and ask them to pay when you have invited them. If you said, "Hey we are going to Aruba and we have an extra bedroom for you if you can pay X" then ask now for the $$ before you leave. 

If they come to you and ask how much can we can contribute - then answer honestly. Lot's of different variations. We would appreciate you picking up the rental car and paying for 1/2 of the groceries. Or we would appreciate you paying X because that would be 1/2 of what we paid. Or, if they are getting the smaller room, X/3 because you will be getting the smaller bedroom. The important thing is to talk about it ahead of time. 

Have a great trip.

elaine


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## lprstn (Jul 30, 2011)

Luckily now most of my travel friends own at Wyndham and we just book our own. Over the years as people have asked to travel with us they fell in love with timesharing and Wyndham. So we helped them get great resale deals. Now we meet at places every year.


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## lll1929 (Jul 30, 2011)

You may have them pay the daily fee that you will charged while at surf club.  I have always invited people to stay with me, but I have them pay any fee's such as those in Aruba and I have them pay for their groceries.  

In some cases, I may ask them to pay half the exchange fee too.


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## Timeshare Von (Jul 30, 2011)

When I've taken friends on a timeshare vacation, they've typically picked up the rental car and perhaps a nice dinner out one night (or two).  Same thing if/when one of my sisters has traveled with me staying in a T/S I own or have exchanged into.

When my MIL has traveled with us, we have not expected her to pay anything as she is on a very fixed income and could not afford the travels she's joined us on.  Sometimes she will pick up a tank or two of gas, but beyond that, I would not expect or accept more from her.  With her, this would include timeshare and non-timeshare vacations.


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## laurac260 (Jul 30, 2011)

jme said:


> Hmmmm..... noticing that you're still a guest here.


And if that is causing you some inconvenience please take it up with those who are in charge of the forum.  I obviously am not getting the "non-free" stuff for free.


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## sstug (Jul 30, 2011)

glypnirsgirl said:


> I think this depends on how the "invitation" came up. If you asked them to join you, I don't think that you can go back and ask them to pay when you have invited them. If you said, "Hey we are going to Aruba and we have an extra bedroom for you if you can pay X" then ask now for the $$ before you leave.



I find this a fascinating topic and want to get more input.

I totally understand those of you who say you invite others to join you and don’t expect them to pay.  I can see many scenarios where this may (and has) come up for me also.

I’m looking at it from the perspective of those of us who may otherwise rent the lock off, or are single and inviting friends who may not be people we want to offer a vacation on our dime.  

I made the mistake of asking a longtime coworker/friend “do you want to come to Cancun?”  She said yes and that was it.  In the future I will be sure to immediately specify they pay half the accommodations.  I’m not shy about speaking up about payment, but I naively assumed she would pay her way until it was too late.  

So here is my question…when does an invitation to go on vacation ever imply the resort will be provided for free?

I can invite a friend to do many things:
Do you want to go to the movies with me?
Do you want to go out to dinner?
Do you want to go on a cruise with me?
Do you want to go to the superbowl with me? I have an extra ticket.
Do you want to go on vacation to Cancun with me? (hotel stay)
Do you want to go to Cancun with me? (timeshare stay)

Am I expected to pay for the movie tickets, the dinner, the full cost of the ship cabin, the superbowl tickets, the hotel room, and the timeshare fees in Cancun?  What in the invitation implies no cost to the guest? And is this only because it is a timeshare? 

Isn’t there an implied understanding you pay your own way unless I insist on paying for you?  Why is a timeshare considered free or already paid for?

I’m not asking about the family situation where you invite an in-law, or an adult child, or even a friend you know can’t afford it.  I’m asking about friends who are not close friends, just a travel companion, and a trip with no rental car.

I’m just curious how others would distinguish between an invitation (free) and an offer to join me at a cost.

Sheila


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## Pat H (Jul 30, 2011)

If I ask friends to go on vacation, we split the m/f's. When I have asked family (not my kids), I paid for the timeshare and they paid for the food.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jul 30, 2011)

"Do you want to go to XX with me" implies you will be paying.

"I am going to XX, would you like to come?" is a subtle, and not clear way of saying that the person will be paying their own way. I think that this type of invitation requires follow-up, such as, "we will need to figure out who is going to pay for what." So that the person IMMEDIATELY knows that you intend for them to pay their own way. 

I would follow that up with, "and we will need to get an idea of how much we want to do together and how much we want to do things separately."

In general, someone that is invited to something becomes your guest and they are not expected to pay. I believe unless the "invitation" is immediately followed with your expectation of payment, it is extremely rude to expect someone to pay. 

My husband and I recently have had to do this with a vacation that I historically paid for. For years, I have used my DVC timeshare for family vacations for which I paid everything except for flights. This year, our family has grown huge and we simply cannot afford to pay. So, instead of inviting everyone for vacation. I sent out an email that said, I am taking a head count for everyone that wants to go to Disney World in May, 2012. We will need to figure out whether or not we want to do the Disney Dining Plan or chip in for groceries or a combination. It will depend on each person's budget and I am going to attempt to figure out which will work for our respective budgets. Similarly, I am attaching a spreadsheet of the prices for the tickets for the different number of days (and did an excel spreadsheet for plain tickets, water fun and more, parkhoppers and both) so that you can start saving. Ian and I will be providing rooms for everyone.

Then everyone knew whether or not they could afford to go. 

elaine


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## MommaBear (Jul 30, 2011)

When we invite friends or family, they always offer to pay for something. Usually we have them pick up the rental car or airport to resort costs, we split the food and it all works out. And the next time, they invite us to their timeshare and we reciprocate the transportation. We only invite people we like and want to actually spend time with! If they ever didn't help out with costs, it would be the one and only time we invited them. When we travel with family members who cannot really afford what the rest of us can, they generally offer to cook or they do something else nice to help out or treat us special. 

As far as sstug's questions, in our community, when you ask someone to do something with you it is understood that you are all contributing in some way to the activity. Sometimes it is splitting the expenses, sometimes it is doing a favor in return. For instance, I do not really like to drive but commute 70 miles round trip to work. So, if we are going out, I am delighted if someone else drives and I offer to pay the gas- I feel their driving is a wonderful gift to me. My daughter is an amazing cook, but has no money, so I buy the groceries and am delighted to sit and sip on wine while she slaves over the stove.  These may not be examples of splitting money down the center, but it shows how there can always be a give and take. 

There isn't enough money in life for me to spend a week with anyone I do not enjoy.


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## Dori (Jul 30, 2011)

When we extend an invitation to family or friends, we don't expect them to contribute towards the timeshare costs. They always pay half of the grocery bill and, when we were in Las Vegas this spring, our friends paid for half of the rental car. 

Dori


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## vacationhopeful (Jul 30, 2011)

sstug and I are single. I understand that language very clearly. If all the single women in the world sat around waiting for someone to ask them (as their guest) to go somewheres, we would never get to the next county much let alone to Mexico. Travel is much safer when there are 2 or more persons going somewheres. I don't expect my causal GFs to pay for me or I pay for them. The usual talk is "hey, I was looking at going to Mexico. Want to go?" "What would it cost and for how long?"  ... Why would either side think one or the other was the guest?

I want to ask the widowed woman, how often do you travel with friends who are NOT part of your extended family. And are these couples you travel with or other single persons? And are the financial rules different?

2nd Part: And how often do you travel solo for at least a week on a vacation? Do you go to timeshares or traveling alone?


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## Tia (Jul 30, 2011)

Pat H said:


> If I ask friends to go on vacation, we split the m/f's. ...



This is what we've done. They get a great vacation for 1/2 price.


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## sstug (Jul 30, 2011)

vacationhopeful said:


> sstug and I are single. I understand that language very clearly. If all the single women in the world sat around waiting for someone to ask them (as their guest) to go somewheres, we would never get to the next county much let alone to Mexico.



This is so true!!!!

Maybe only another single person would see things from my perspective.  Thanks vacationhopeful for letting me know I'm not alone.

Being single is exactly why I bought my first timeshare.  This way I can go on vacation alone and not feel uncomfortable having to eat out alone every meal.  I always prefer to have a travel companion but they are sometimes hard to find.  


Sheila


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## loafingcactus (Jul 30, 2011)

Off the point, but I'm a single woman who lived on the road for work (alone) for five years and just went to Europe on vacation (alone) and have been all sorts of places alone. Don't expect to be staying home and buying my burka any time soon, lol.

On the point, if I ask someone to something and don't specify money, then I expect to pay.  Sometimes I hope they will offer their half.  Or maybe we're people who trade off.  If I'm not actually inviting them, I make it clear up front: "it would be really fun to go to dinner but I can't cover it, are you up to going out and we each pay our own?". Or, for a vacation that is coming up, "Wouldn't it be fun if we went to XYZ.  If you wanted to do it, do you think you could get the plane tickets?"


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## sstug (Jul 30, 2011)

sstug said:


> I made the mistake of asking a longtime coworker/friend “do you want to come to Cancun?”  She said yes and that was it.  In the future I will be sure to immediately specify they pay half the accommodations.  I’m not shy about speaking up about payment, but I naively assumed she would pay her way until it was too late.



Let me add a twist to my situation and see if it changes anyone’s opinion…

When I invited this coworker/friend I was unemployed.  We had worked together for years until I was laid off.  We were out to dinner with another mutual friend who also has timeshares and we were discussing traveling.  This woman said “I need to start being more like you two, more spontaneous”… I then asked if she wanted to come to Cancun and she said yes.

This was about 8 months into my unemployment and at the time of the trip I had been out of work for 12 months.  I know it was my mistake for “inviting” her if I had intended to split the cost, and I did pay the full maintenance fee.  I just thought she would offer to pay towards the trip given my economic situation.  I was wrong and I learned an important lesson.  At least she offered to buy me dinner while we were there…


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## MuranoJo (Jul 31, 2011)

We've done several 'group' trips, where other couples joined us and had separate units.  In that case, I did charge them for my exchange fee.  
If someone stays in the 2nd bedroom of our unit, we usually don't charge them, just expect them to kick in on the food.  Almost always, they offer to pick up the rental car and/or dinners out.


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## chellej (Jul 31, 2011)

I just got back from a week with family at williamsburg....it was supposed to be a mini reunion so my 2 brothers & their families came and I went but none of my kids were able to.  I got 3 units which I paid for, they drove from PA so we had use of the cars and they paid for the food.

If I book something for them alone, they reimburse me maintenance fees.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jul 31, 2011)

sstug said:


> Let me add a twist to my situation and see if it changes anyone’s opinion…
> 
> When I invited this coworker/friend I was unemployed.  We had worked together for years until I was laid off.  We were out to dinner with another mutual friend who also has timeshares and we were discussing traveling.  This woman said “I need to start being more like you two, more spontaneous”… I then asked if she wanted to come to Cancun and she said yes.
> 
> This was about 8 months into my unemployment and at the time of the trip I had been out of work for 12 months.  I know it was my mistake for “inviting” her if I had intended to split the cost, and I did pay the full maintenance fee.  I just thought she would offer to pay towards the trip given my economic situation.  I was wrong and I learned an important lesson.  At least she offered to buy me dinner while we were there…



I think that COMPLETELY changes things. For one thing, from the context of that conversation, it was not an invitation for you to pay, it was an invitation for her to be more spontaneous. 

And she should have paid. 

The problem becomes when the misunderstanding doesn't get straightened out. A simple, you know I am just barely going to be able to afford my way, and we will need to split groceries and since I am picking up the room, could you pick up the car rental? And that conversation is much easier with a close friend than it is with a former co-worker.

My heart goes out to you.

And, I think that Linda is correct. I think that it is different when you are single and inviting a friend to go with you. While I was single all of my friends and I had a rule that we ALWAYS paid our own tabs so that we wouldn't need to keep score. It started the first time that I took a dear friend to lunch that I clearly intended to pay for and she told me, "I don't want you to pay because then you won't invite me if you can't afford to pay for both of us and I want you to feel free to invite me any time you want my company - I always thought that she was the most gracious person. Any way, any time anyone would join us, we would let them know the "rule" up front and it made life easier for everyone.

elaine


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## dougp26364 (Jul 31, 2011)

Former Cruiser said:


> This will be our first time bringing friends with us to a timeshare.  We booked an exchange into Marriott Surf Club, 2 bd., 2 ba for April of next year.  What do you usually charge for your friends to come?  My first inclination is to charge nothing as we would have incurred the cost whether or not they would have come.  However, I don't think they're going to go for that.  What do you suggest?  Thanks.



When we invite friends, I consider them invited guests and I don't ask for reimbursement. I reason that I was going to use the 2 bedroom regardless of if they came with us or not. Therefore, I'm not losing anything by allowing someone I know use the room. 

About the only thing I expect is that they'll help out with the cost of food.


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## ada903 (Jul 31, 2011)

We often take friends and family - and some folks we do take with us multiple times - but never charge.  However, the folks we pick to go with us are thoughtful enough to offer something in exchange, like purchasing groceries for the week, taking us to dinner, helping out with the majority of the cooking and dishes, etc - they always compensate in some way, and not always monetarily.

On the last girls' trip I booked a two bedroom at Four Seasons and did not let the girls pay anything towards it.  The girls rented the car, paid the gas, got all groceries, and cooked for us every day.  I was spoiled and did not move a finger., which was priceless to me.

I don't actually expect anything in return other than sincere appreciation, and not being taken advantage of - that is all I expect.


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## dioxide45 (Jul 31, 2011)

When family or friends come along with us, we don't ask for any reimbursement for the accommodations. We split rental car and fuel costs. Everyone buys what they want in the way of groceries since we tend to eat out most days. Split checks of course. If it is a Disney or other trip requiring admission, they buy their own tickets unless we have given them tickets ahead of time as a Christmas or birthday gift.


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## stevedmatt (Jul 31, 2011)

sstug said:


> Do you want to go to the superbowl with me? I have an extra ticket.



Yes!

To me, this one implies that I would be going for free. And if you said "would you like to go to Cancun with me, I have an extra bedroom", I think this would also imply that it is free.

I personally would never expect you to pay for either, just what I think it implies.

I have a friend who has Eagles season tickets. They can be sold for more than double face value almost every game. Before the season starts, he asks me which games I would like to go to. I usually only pick one or two. When we go to the game, I pay for parking, bring food for the tailgate (he does also) and I give him the face value of the ticket plus some extra money. 

I have invited close friends and my sisters family to travel with us. I have never asked for any money. One couple did pay for a couple dinners during our trip. The other couple didn't, but would do anything for us whenever we needed them. My sister watched my kids three times during the week so we could play golf. That was more valuable than any money she could have given us.


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## Zac495 (Jul 31, 2011)

Depends on the situation. If I invite friends with "no" money, I would be inviting them for free. All of my friends would do something - from buying some wine to picking up dinner.

Other friends who make more, I probably wouldn't invite them for free (not that I own a timeshare anymore), but would suggest we go together and tell them my costs (maintenance fees) and ask for half of that - still a great deal for the friend who has "more" money.

I would be very clear - after rereading the thread a couple thoughts:
If I said, Would you like to go to X with me? - that does imply free. I wouldn't say that to my "richer" friends. I would say that to my less to-do friends.

The OP who was out of work for 8 months - if you were my friend and asked me, I would ASSUME you needed help. I would either say no thanks (If I didn't want to pay for  a vacation with you) or ask what the costs were (if I did).


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## beejaybeeohio (Jul 31, 2011)

*Our philosophy, too*



Bucky said:


> I've never even thought of asking for any compensation.  That said, I have shared the cost of a rental car with them and let them buy us a dinner or two while on vacation.  If we didn't want them with us we wouldn't have invited them.





Dori said:


> When we extend an invitation to family or friends, we don't expect them to contribute towards the timeshare costs. They always pay half of the grocery bill and, when we were in Las Vegas this spring, our friends paid for half of the rental car.
> 
> Dori





dougp26364 said:


> When we invite friends, I consider them invited guests and I don't ask for reimbursement. I reason that I was going to use the 2 bedroom regardless of if they came with us or not. Therefore, I'm not losing anything by allowing someone I know use the room.
> 
> About the only thing I expect is that they'll help out with the cost of food.





dioxide45 said:


> When family or friends come along with us, we don't ask for any reimbursement for the accommodations. We split rental car and fuel costs. Everyone buys what they want in the way of groceries since we tend to eat out most days. Split checks of course. If it is a Disney or other trip requiring admission, they buy their own tickets unless we have given them tickets ahead of time as a Christmas or birthday gift.



DH & I choose the timeshare in the location we wish to visit and at the time that works for us. We exchange for 2 bedrooms or larger when possible and then ask friends &/or family to join us without expecting reimbursement for lodging. It's great if we have others to share our travels and the only "perk" we keep for ourselves is the best bedroom.

One mistake I have made is mentioning an upcoming trade to FR to SIl & BIL who've accompanied us at several European t/s in the past.  They took my news as a definite invite and later on I wished I'd kept my mouth shut as we would have preferred friends who are more active and oenophiles like me along.  But the good news is that these friends will probably join us anyhow, booking a hotel room at the resort on their dime,.


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## Pat H (Jul 31, 2011)

I am also single and mostly travel with other women. The majority of them are married. It's understood that when one person says "I just got an exchange to XYZ, anyone want to come" that all costs are split equally. E.g. 4 of us went to Spain in May. We split the cost of the timeshare and the car. We had a kitty for groceries and incidentals. When we ate out, we got separate checks. 2 of us went onto Madrid for 3 nights. I got the hotel room for points. In exchange the other woman paid for my share of the ts, car and a few meals. I think she paid for too much but she didn't so we were both happy.

I could never afford to do all the traveling I do, if it wasn't for going with other people and splitting the costs. 

Linda & Sheila, there is a women's travel group called Ladies on Vacation (LOV) that started thru TUG. If you are interested in joining, go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LadiesVacation and request to join. Please include both your real name and your TUG user name.


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## Patri (Jul 31, 2011)

As a married person, I still agree with sstug. Family is different, but why should friends get a free vacation? If they invited you on a trip using hotels, would you expect them to pay for your rooms? If you invited them on a hotel trip, would you pay for their rooms? Timesharing really isn't that different in policy! The friends just get the idea the lodging is free and don't comprehend mf. (The rooms were really paid for in advance).

I don't care if it's the rental car, or MOST of the food, or other contributions, but guests should contribute. Otherwise it's a one-sided friendship. And as much as you love your friends, there is a certain amount of stress or lack of privacy in traveling together.

The tips on clarifying cost-sharing up front are great, and hopefully everyone will remember them as the situation arises. And it does come down to being appreciated for your gestures. A thank-you goes a long way.

(All this coming from one who has not yet invited friends. I like privacy and setting my own schedule too much).


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## sstug (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank you everyone for the wonderful insight!!  

I will definitely be careful with my invitations in the future now that I have a better understanding of how others may perceive the invite.

And thanks to Pat for the info on LOV!!

Sheila


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## rapmarks (Jul 31, 2011)

vacationhopeful said:


> I currently have one couple on my J--k list. Maybe they will figure it out in another year or three. Stayed in my small lockoff side and complained I had the King bed while they had 2 double beds, moved to another resort to their own separate 2/2 and thought I had the better view (told them to pick the room key at checkin), and dragged their feet by 30 minutes late on the 10AM checkout time. They brought me 1 draft beer during the entire week.... after I stocked $120 of food and drink in the refrigerator ... And yes, they had agreed to paying 1/2 of the first unit's MFs and had asked how much from the food & drink in the refrigerators with an offer of, "We'll get half of that, too".


 
oh boy! that takes the cake! 

i don't expect anything when we ask someone t ojoin us.  
Once my sister joined us and she tried to pay for everything, no, we were going anyway, stop it.  
It is nice when someone will pick up a tab for dinner,but what usually happens is someone backs out on ljoining us at late date, they have no financial committment so who cares.


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## CapriciousC (Jul 31, 2011)

aandmrun said:


> If I invite friends and/or family, they are my guests and I do not expect them to pay for the stay.  They do, however, usually pick up a restaurant tab or contribute to groceries or drinks.  That I accept.  Now, if we "plan" a trip together, as we have done with friends and "II getaways", then we share the cost of the "getaway" equally.  It all depends on how the trip is planned, whether it is an "invite"(no cost to them) or a "planned trip" that we discuss way in advance of making. My husband and I have traveled with friends lots of times and it has always worked out for us.  It all has to do with the communication and understanding that happens *BEFORE* the trip.  Don't wait until costs come up before discussing them, because that might not work out.  The budget should be discussed in the trip planning, then everyone knows what to expect in advance.  All fun and games on the trips!



I think this is excellent advice.  I think it's a good idea to discuss everything in advance, not just the financial aspects, but any potential issues that may arise.  Years ago, we went on a three week trip to Australia and New Zealand with another couple with whom we had been friends for years.  At that time none of us had children, so we were free to go out and do whatever we wanted, really.  My husband and I came back from the trip with the impression that we all had had a wonderful time.  However, at a group gathering shortly after we returned, the wife from the other couple was grousing to all of our mutual girlfriends about how we "dragged" them to museums and other "boring" cultural sites and events that she didn't really want to see.  This was news to my husband and I (and, it turns out, to her husband as well).  

Now we know that if we're traveling with others we make it clear that we're happy to host them if we're either staying in our timeshare or an exchange, but that everyone is on their own for entertainment, dining out, etc.  If we propose something and you want to join us, great.  If not, that's fine, too.  I think the key to enjoying travel with people with whom you do not live year round is a little bit of time away from them.  After all, you're not used to having them around 24/7 at home - odds are if they're around all the time on vacation, people are going to get on each others nerves.


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## Former Cruiser (Jul 31, 2011)

lll1929 said:


> You may have them pay the daily fee that you will charged while at surf club.  I have always invited people to stay with me, but I have them pay any fee's such as those in Aruba and I have them pay for their groceries.
> 
> In some cases, I may ask them to pay half the exchange fee too.



Please tell me more about the "daily fee" at Surf Club.  I didn't know about it.

Also, I started this thread as after we invited them and they got their airfare, I got an email thanking us for the invite and telling me we still had to talk about helping pay for the week.  I should have put that in my original post, but that is why I said they probably wouldn't go for not paying anything even though that's what I'll offer.  I'm thankful for the advice in case they insist.


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