# You knew you were rich when...



## MommaBear (Aug 3, 2011)

There is another thread about being a millionaire. I thought it might be interesting to hear from people about when they realized that they were well off.

For me it was when we could buy pizza for the family every Friday night. We had been very poor for a long number of years and it was so cool that we could afford $8 a week to buy Little Ceasar's Pizzas


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## isisdave (Aug 3, 2011)

My dad used to say it was when you had cold fried chicken in the 'fridge all the time.  He ate Franco-American canned stuff daily while he worked his way through college.


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## loafingcactus (Aug 3, 2011)

I used to work with someone who always said that the difference between being rich and being poor was between being in debt five dollars or having five dollars in your pocket.

That's just how it was for me... I can narrow it down to an exact trip that I went into still poor.  In fact, on the trip a cousin gave me a grant to come some genealogy research I was doing.  The next year I was able to buy my own plane ticket to visit the same cousin and it felt so strange that just a year earlier I had really needed that grant whereas now it would be odd for a relative to give me money.


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## ronparise (Aug 3, 2011)

"I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better."
- Mae West

The measure of financial success for me was when I could stop "brown bagging" my lunch

I started feeling "rich" when I had someone calling me Dad (and now Grandpa)


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## Passepartout (Aug 3, 2011)

I can't say that I am 'rich', but became aware of my financial comfort shortly after taking my parents' advice to, "Pay yourself first." When I started putting aside 10-15% or more of each paycheck, birthday gift, or minor windfall. Soon I could afford nicer things or getaways than my peers. When I wanted to re-fi my house in the 80's and the mortgage banker asked what I owe who, and I replied "Nothing to no-one." He told me that was un-American.

Jim Ricks


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## Htoo0 (Aug 3, 2011)

Far from rich but it was a relief when I no longer had to worry (or look at the balance) to see if a check was going to clear. Getting the home paid off early was great too.


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## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

I'm never going to be rich - but when I bought a new car on my own for the first time (without husband or father along) and paid cash for it, I got a lot of satisfaction out of it.


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## jlr10 (Aug 3, 2011)

I grew up fairly poor.  My mom always was bouncing checks and having creditors calling her. 

I felt rich at 18 when I needed four new tires and had the money in the bank to pay for them.

Now it is just when I look my DH and DS and realize that my 2 blessings are worth far more than money.


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## rickandcindy23 (Aug 4, 2011)

I knew we were rich when....
Our 25" console color TV broke in 1976, and we just went out to the store and bought a 19" to sit on top of it with no hesitation.  Then we actually had a TV for our bedroom, when the console worked again.  We had two televisions!


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## Icc5 (Aug 4, 2011)

*Brown bagging*



ronparise said:


> "I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better."
> - Mae West
> 
> The measure of financial success for me was when I could stop "brown bagging" my lunch
> ...



I never really thought of myself as rich or poor.  Brown bag my lunch because I like the leftovers in the fridge.  Would continue to do this unless my wife's cooking went poor.
Bart


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## vckempson (Aug 4, 2011)

The feeling of doing well came along way after actual financial success.  It wasn't until I routinely starting paying the dinner bill when going out with my parents that it hit me.  It was more a feeling of gratitude for being able to pay them back in some small way.  That's when I became "rich".


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## Elan (Aug 4, 2011)

When I was about 25 and found a 6 month old uncashed paycheck in some papers in my car.  That's when I realized not that I was rich, but that I was no longer worrying about money (which to me are about the same thing).  Or maybe that's when I realized I was irresponsible.........


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## Rose Pink (Aug 4, 2011)

"Not he who has little, but he who wishes more, is poor." - Seneca 

I don't remember a specific moment when I thought, "aha! I am rich."  It was more of a gradual process as I came to realize that _things_ can not only provide comfort and pleasure, they can also be a rope that keeps you tethered down having to manage them, care for them, find a place to store them.  I realized that having less stuff is a sort of freedom that is priceless.  I started to feel rich when I realized I didn't need a bigger house, a fancier car, a more luxuriant vacation.

Over the years, the paycheck amounts went up and the bills went down.  DH and I can't go out and buy whatever we want whenever we want but we can buy whatever we need whenever we need it--and alot of the little luxuries as well such as eating out frequently.  

Perhaps we should be saving more for retirement.  We may come to regret our current spending habits.  I scrimped and bought on sale for so long that now it feels like freedom not to do that anymore--to just say, "let's go out to eat."  Or to see something at the grocery store and toss it in the cart without having to count the cost.  Or to buy a plane ticket to go visit my DD or my grandchildren.


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## rickandcindy23 (Aug 4, 2011)

We are not rich, not by a longshot, but we are happy, healthy, and our kids seem to be happy and healthy.  We have lived in the same house for 32 years and love it here.  Our kids all own houses much more expensive than ours, but I feel our home is HOME.  I could never move from here.  

We raised our kids here, and we have improved it from the house it was brand new in 1979.  It was our dream house then, and it still is.  We have spent way too much $$$ over-improving it for the neighborhood it occupies.  Stupid to some, but to us, it's home.  

Rick just remodeled our kitchen himself, building all of the cabinets from scratch.  He added a butler's pantry to the dining room, too.  It's wonderful to look at.  I just love to stare.  We had granite (really it's quartz) countertops installed about 8 weeks ago, and he added a backsplash in a slate tile with some glass inserts with copper behind them.  It's gorgeous.  I spend more time than ever in the kitchen.  Added bonus for Rick!

Now we are adding Andersen wood windows to the rooms that don't have them yet.  I was tired of snow in the bedroom from the north side window, so no more snow in the bedroom.  We love our new windows in the rest of the house.  It can be 20 below, and you can stand right next to the kitchen, family room, or den windows and not feel any cold air.  It's going to be great having our bedrooms warmer.  The energy savings already has paid off our other windows.


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## ScubaKat (Aug 4, 2011)

Don't think I have ever felt rich...  I did feel grown up when I closed on my first house at 24..  unlike Ron.. I actually felt poor when dd came along and we saw the daycare bills... :rofl:   

Growing up I have always said I don't need to be rich.. all I want is to be happy and comfortable.. it just took a lot of growing up to understand that it takes quite a lot to be comfortable and that definition of being comfortable keeps changing.. does make me super grateful all that my parents had provided us emotionally and financially and we can only hope we can do the same for our kids..


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## dukebigtom (Aug 4, 2011)

I was rich the day I realized being rich had nothing to do with money.  

BigTom


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## akbmusic (Aug 4, 2011)

*Real eye-opener*

The day I finally felt comfortable was when I realized that I could afford to give my kid's clothes away and didn't feel the need to have a garage sale to make money off of them, and also realized that they had enough clothes that they could actually be given away, because they outgrew them and didn't wear them out.

They day I felt like a millionaire was when I introduced 4th graders to Google Earth for a mapping lesson. After working on continents, latitude/longitude, etc. I gave them a little free time to find their house. Then I told them they could "travel" anywhere from their house, and encouraged them to pick out a place. I thought, ignorantly, that most would choose a city in our state, or another state, or a country with a famous landmark. Half of the kids wanted to know where the Wal-mart was in the nearest town. The more I spoke with them, the more I realized that for those kids, that was the most exciting place they had been and that their frame of reference was so much different than that of my own children. It was very humbling to me, and even though I may not be rich by USA standards, in the grand scheme of things, I am truly blessed and wealthy.


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## AwayWeGo (Aug 4, 2011)

*I Resemble That Remark.*




dukebigtom said:


> I realized being rich had nothing to do with money.


Well, maybe just a _little_ to do with money. 

Then again, it could be that I have always been rich. 

That is, I do not recall ever feeling deprived. 

Nor have I had to do without anything I really, really wanted because of money (or lack thereof). 

Not only that, my life overflows with the precious things that money cannot buy. 

Gratitude is the only honest & appropriate response to the life that I have been given to live. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


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## Rose Pink (Aug 5, 2011)

And I continue to feel rich when I read the headlines:

http://old.news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110805/ap_on_re_af/af_east_africa_famine


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## rickandcindy23 (Aug 5, 2011)

Rick and I got married at 18.  I didn't need my parents' permission, as a female, but Rick did.  

Our parents were NOT happy with us.  

I didn't care what my parents thought, to be honest, because I saw them both as selfish from the time I was about ten and realized that booze and prescription drugs were more important to Dad and Mom than providing for the kids.  Dad would spend $1.25 almost every day for a six-pack of beer, which he drank by himself, almost every day.  and Mom was addicted to Noludar (spelling?) and darvon, and that was her priority.  She had different doctors and had me driving between different pharmacies, as soon as I was sixteen, just to fetch her drugs for her habit.  It was not pretty.  

Leaving my younger sisters was very difficult for me, but I saw them as much as I could.  My mom was so angry, she tried to keep me away from them.  

Rick and I were poor.  We didn't care and would never ask for help from our parents, nor would they give it.  

We had no furniture.  We had a 9" black and white television, my cedar chest I bought as a teen, and we slept on the floor of our beautiful apartment on a pile of old blankets. We ate rice with ketchup or soy sauce for dinner, half a sandwich each for lunch, and we skipped breakfast.  I was not starving at all.  We were happy.  

When we wanted to save for something, that is what we ate to pay cash for furniture, a bed, or a new television or whatever.  It was fun.  Now I wouldn't enjoy that.  Rick passed the test for the fire department at 20, and our lives changed drastically.  We bought a house and closed before we turned 21.  We had no debts, except the house.  It was a simple life.  

Then we had debts after the kids came along, and we bought two brand new houses in two years.  Then we bought two timeshares, which added to our burden.  We were spending like there was no tomorrow.  

Now we are back to no debts.  It feels good, and we don't have to eat rice and sandwiches, but if we had to do it, we would.


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## sail27bill (Aug 5, 2011)

Not wealthy rich, but extremely happy!!  I have been married to my best friend for 17 years since I was 22.  Everyone thought we were marrying too young (mind you, we both went to college and had good jobs).  Bill totally "en-riched" my life from the minute I met him.  He was sweet, caring, funny and driven.  At 24 I welcomed my son and our family life was great.  At 29 I had our daughter and I truly felt "rich".  Maybe one day we will be money rich (lotto anyone?), but till then, we are enjoying life and all the blessings we have been given, especially given the economic situation for many.  I have friends and acquaintences who are going through tough times financially, so I guess having a roof over my head, food on the table and clothes on my back really is rich.

Anita


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## pedro47 (Aug 5, 2011)

You are rich when you can take twenty (20) cruises per year for the past 10 years like a couple in the sunshine state.


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## SueDonJ (Aug 5, 2011)

pedro47 said:


> You are rich when you can take twenty (20) cruises per year for the past 10 years like a couple in the sunshine state.



That might mean I'd be rich but I sure wouldn't be happy.  Now twenty weeks per year ON LAND - at Hilton Head in my timeshares - that would mean rich and happy.   

We're not rich but the first time I felt comfortable was when I realized that we could absorb the loss when selling our first house - bought at the top of the market, sold at the low.  It was worth it to get into our current home, that's for sure.


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## Jaybee (Aug 5, 2011)

Jim, I really appreciated your post.  You were very smart to listen to that advice. I have 4 children, and only one of them learned that from me. I don't know where I failed, but it sure didn't get through.  I kept hearing, "I can't afford to save any money!" Duh!  
Years ago, we had a friend who started an A/C business, and he was losing track of his finances.  He asked me to straighten out his checkbook, and I agreed, but it was a lost cause. He only remembered to make an entry once in awhile, and he had lost so much in fees for "Insufficient Funds", I told him, "You'll never get anywhere like this", and I gave him a copy of "the Richest Man in Babylon". He turned himself around, and I'm very pleased to know that he still talks about how I made a difference in his life.  That makes me feel "rich".




Passepartout said:


> I can't say that I am 'rich', but became aware of my financial comfort shortly after taking my parents' advice to, "Pay yourself first." When I started putting aside 10-15% or more of each paycheck, birthday gift, or minor windfall. Soon I could afford nicer things or getaways than my peers. When I wanted to re-fi my house in the 80's and the mortgage banker asked what I owe who, and I replied "Nothing to no-one." He told me that was un-American.
> 
> Jim Ricks


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## Jaybee (Aug 5, 2011)

Cindy, you sound rich to me!  "Rich" is partly a state of mind, I think.  Being able to fulfill your needs, and also wants, creates a feeling of comfort and contentment, and that's what we're all after, isn't it?  Living beyond ones' means is a fool's errand, and accomplishes mostly nothing. So speaketh today's philosopher. LOL!



rickandcindy23 said:


> We are not rich, not by a longshot, but we are happy, healthy, and our kids seem to be happy and healthy.  We have lived in the same house for 32 years and love it here.  Our kids all own houses much more expensive than ours, but I feel our home is HOME.  I could never move from here.
> 
> We raised our kids here, and we have improved it from the house it was brand new in 1979.  It was our dream house then, and it still is.  We have spent way too much $$$ over-improving it for the neighborhood it occupies.  Stupid to some, but to us, it's home.
> 
> ...


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## laurac260 (Aug 5, 2011)

To me, being poor was when everyone who told me they "loved" me would easily turn their back on you, or throw you under the bus.  Or when you knew, even at a young age that their own needs and feelings were of more consequence than yours.  So being rich is finally having a husband and family that has your back, and loves you warts and all.  I'd rather live in a shack with this family than in a palace with those who brought me into the world, and almost all the people they chose to surround me with.


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## rickandcindy23 (Aug 5, 2011)

laurac260 said:


> To me, being poor was when everyone who told me they "loved" me would easily turn their back on you, or throw you under the bus.  Or when you knew, even at a young age that their own needs and feelings were of more consequence than yours.  So being rich is finally having a husband and family that has your back, and loves you warts and all.  I'd rather live in a shack with this family than in a palace with those who brought me into the world, and almost all the people they chose to surround me with.



I get it.  But my mom got much better as she got older.  That was my reward for still loving her.


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## laurac260 (Aug 6, 2011)

rickandcindy23 said:


> I get it.  But my mom got much better as she got older.  That was my reward for still loving her.



Mine got worse.  I finally gave up on her because I couldn't help her help herself.  And she resented me trying.


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## short (Aug 6, 2011)

*Debt over 1 mil.*

When we got our debt over 1 mi. we knew we had made it.:whoopie: 

Short


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## bigrick (Aug 8, 2011)

short said:


> When we got our debt over 1 mi. we knew we had made it.:whoopie:
> 
> Short



Different strokes for different folks.  Debt over a million wouldn't be rich for me unless the asset financed with that debt cash flowed enough to cover the debt and to put some free cash into my pocket.


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## bigrick (Aug 8, 2011)

I felt "rich" the first time I was able to trade into NYC via a timeshare I bought based on a TUG recommendation.  Since the total out of pocket cost for the trade was less than renting a hotel room we could afford to go to NYC and live like a New Yorker for the first time.

Once there we were blessed to meet a bunch of TUGgers who've become friends.  Now we are "rich" in friends who like to travel like we do!


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## Fern Modena (Aug 8, 2011)

I knew I was rich when I could make the rent check _before_ payday.  That was many years ago.  Now, or course, I know that wasn't really what rich is, but it sure felt like it in those days.  

Nowadays, rich is at least 100K a year more than I have...and *they* probably think it is only "comfortable."

Fern


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## glypnirsgirl (Aug 8, 2011)

In 3d grade when one of the kids said that their family was having hot dogs for Thanksgiving. 

I had always felt poor. But after that moment, I never felt poor again. Not the same as feeling rich - but a real paradigm shift.

I felt rich when I went into my dad's tire store and he asked me to apply for a credit card. (I don't remember why he wanted my to do so). He came back grinning ear to ear. He told me that I got the highest credit limit that he had ever seen and when he mentioned it to the guy on the phone, the guy told him that I had the highest credit score he had ever seen. My dad who was always very careful with his money was impressed.

elaine


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## jehb2 (Aug 9, 2011)

When we returned home from our 3 week vacation to Hawaii and I went to the bank to deposit the money we had leftover from our trip.

I save for vacations (and everything else), use only one credit card, and pay the full balance at the end of every month.


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## Kathleen (Aug 9, 2011)

Hello All,

Many years ago, at age 31, I started life as a single mom of three kids. No job, no credit, no money. I got a job, in fact three jobs. One full time and two part time. When I made enough money at the full time job, so I could quit one of the part time jobs, I thought that I had arrived.

Eventually, I got down to just my full time job.  And, I retired at age 46.  But, my true wealth is in my friends and family. The common sense that I was raised with has paid me back with interest.

Kathleen


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## MuranoJo (Aug 9, 2011)

Wow, Kathleen, that's impressive.


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## bigrick (Aug 10, 2011)

Kathleen said:


> Hello All,
> 
> Many years ago, at age 31, I started life as a single mom of three kids. No job, no credit, no money. I got a job, in fact three jobs. One full time and two part time. When I made enough money at the full time job, so I could quit one of the part time jobs, I thought that I had arrived.
> 
> ...



Kathleen, what did you do in those 15 years that allowed you to retire?  Good for you but please share more of your story.


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## Kathleen (Aug 10, 2011)

Hi Folks,

I tried to type a longer answer but  I got timed out. Fern knows I don't type much. My last job was Rehab Therapy Assisitant.

Kathleen


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## chrispy08 (Aug 11, 2011)

I knew I was rich when friends' marriages were over and I realized that I have a wife who loves me, 2 happy healthy boys, a roof over our heads, a beat up truck that always starts and my TS in Florida! That's the short version!


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## pgnewarkboy (Aug 11, 2011)

I don't know about "rich" but as a kid I felt "better off" when we moved to a neighborhood where the grammar school didn't have knife fights and drunks didn't roam the street where I lived . I felt bad for my friends at the old school and didn't see them anymore.  I had a sense that my life was improving.


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## LynnW (Aug 11, 2011)

Kathleen said:


> Hi Folks,
> 
> I tried to type a longer answer but  I got timed out. Fern knows I don't type much. My last job was Rehab Therapy Assisitant.
> 
> Kathleen



Hi Kathleen

I also know that you don't type much but would love to hear more of your story. 

Lynn


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## bilfbr245 (Aug 12, 2011)

Momma Bear, was that the Little Ceasars in Topsham?  We are still looking forward to the day we have enough money to eat there.


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## pjrose (Aug 12, 2011)

Rose Pink said:


> And I continue to feel rich when I read the headlines:
> 
> http://old.news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110805/ap_on_re_af/af_east_africa_famine



As I've been reading this thread I've been trying to figure out my answer.  Am I rich because of health, family, love, and so forth?  Because I've never been in financial jeopardy?  

I think Rose supplied my answer - just look at what many people in the rest of the world are suffering.

Many years ago, pre-children, DH and I already had a two-story three-bedroom house on an acre.  Friends came to visit along with a Cambodian refugee their church was sponsoring and an exchange student from Honduras.  The Cambodian woman and Honduran student were flabbergasted at two people having this much space, and really couldn't comprehend how this house would be just for two.  That was as much an eye-opener for me as for them.


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## Jennie (Aug 13, 2011)

I first started feeling "rich" when, after years of working my way through college, I secured my first "real job" with great benefits. I made about 3 times as much working a 35 hour week as I had previously earned working 3 jobs over 7 days per week. 

However, my joy was tempered by the conditions I encountered as a new social worker making home visits to
young mothers rearing children under terrible conditions, with a grossly inadequate government stipend. I thought I would be able to teach them how to stretch their budget by shopping wisely and cooking low cost nutritious meals--skills I had perfected as a "starving" college student. But when I sat down with them and reviewed their most basic expenses--rent, utilities, carfare to doctor appointments, etc.. there was virtually nothing left for food and other necessities. And yet most were glad to have a roof over their head, (no matter how decrepit the apartment or neighborhood was) plus a child (or two, or three) to love.  

Many had been removed from deplorable homes, and had been shunted from one foster home to another, and/or placed in group homes until they "aged out" of the system and had to suddenly fend for themselves.  I was surprised at how well they were coping, how happy many were with so little. 

I soon realized how "rich" my life had been with loving parents, good schooling, stable friends, and the absence of  so many tragic experiences others have had to endure.


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## zcrider (Aug 13, 2011)

First felt rich my first "real" paycheck out of college.

  The eye opener event in life that made me see we were rich in our little world was reaching the point that my husband and I had to agree not to discuss finances with family anymore.  We were raised by open book parents, so all of us always discussed our incomes and raises and net worths ect..if it ever came up in conversation as there was no threat not to.....finally reached a point we needed to start keeping quite as to not hurt the feelings of some family members and to keep one other one from feeling entitled to our hard work.  Of course it is the family member that blows the most money (far more then what we blow) that feels entitled! :hysterical: 
  In the whole big world we are far from rich, but as long as you stay a big fish in a little pond it sure does wonders to make you feel rich.


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## zcrider (Aug 13, 2011)

*big fish in the pond*

First felt rich my first "real" paycheck out of college.

  The eye opener event in life that made me see we were rich in our little world was reaching the point that my husband and I had to agree not to discuss finances with family anymore.  We were raised by open book parents, so all of us always discussed our incomes and raises and net worths ect..if it ever came up in conversation as there was no threat not to.....finally reached a point we needed to start keeping quite as to not hurt the feelings of some family members and to keep one other one from feeling entitled to our hard work.  Of course it is the family member that blows the most money (far more then what we blow) that feels entitled! :hysterical: 
  In the whole big world we are far from rich, but as long as you stay a big fish in a little pond it sure does wonders to make you feel rich.


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## Rose Pink (Aug 16, 2011)

Eating a fresh peach picked from the tree in my yard.  What a delicious breakfast and lovely morning. (except for the rattlesnake)


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## loafingcactus (Aug 16, 2011)

zcrider said:


> In the whole big world we are far from rich, but as long as you stay a big fish in a little pond it sure does wonders to make you feel rich.



There is an economics professor at Duke University who promotes this as a strategy.  People who live in neighborhoods below their means feel more satisfied with life (and a bunch of other good outcomes for them and their children that I don't remember) than people who stretch financially into a house where they are then prompted to continue to stretch to keep up with their neighbors or feel poor if they don't.


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## Rose Pink (Aug 16, 2011)

loafingcactus said:


> There is an economics professor at Duke University who promotes this as a strategy.  People who live in neighborhoods below their means feel more satisfied with life (and a bunch of other good outcomes for them and their children that I don't remember) than people who stretch financially into a house where they are then prompted to continue to stretch to keep up with their neighbors or feel poor if they don't.


I was once told that we tend to compare ourselves upward not downward.  We always want more because we only tend to compare with others who have more rather than counting our blessings and realizing we have more than many others--we tend not to "see" those people.  So I would agree with the professor that we would feel more satisfied if we lived in an area where we would not need to compare upward.


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## frankhi (Aug 17, 2011)

Walking with my son when he was about 8, he said about friends of ours that they must be rich. I asked him why and he said "cuz they have a dog AND and cat"


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## Htoo0 (Aug 17, 2011)

Frankhi's post reminded me of something I only remember because my dad would sometimes tell the story. (Although I do remember the pickup being full of sodas.)  One of my friends (we were maybe 5 or 6) apparently went home and told his folks we must be REALLY rich because we had buried treasure in our back yard. Of course they had to ask and it turned out it was because a new bottling plant (NEHI??) had recently held a grand opening. They were selling six packs for something like 5 cents a piece. Dad bought a pickup load of assorted flavors and stored them in a walk-down well pump house which doubled as a storm shelter and storage area. He had taken us down so we could pick out a bottle of our favorite color. Guess what constitutes 'rich' can vary no matter what age or stage we are in life.


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## shagnut (Aug 17, 2011)

I have never felt "rich" other than the love for my family & I love my little cottage that is paid for and have lived her since the 80's. I felt rich after I bought a ts and could finally travel , which I always loved to do. 

I have always felt I was the "poorest tugger money wise" as I've always had to fight for what I wanted. I like Kathleen was a single mom who held one full time job and 2, sometimes 3 pt jobs.  I think I'll start a new thread. 

shaggy


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## Rose Pink (Aug 20, 2011)

"It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation which give happiness." - Thomas Jefferson


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## MommaBear (Aug 21, 2011)

bilfbr245 said:


> Momma Bear, was that the Little Ceasars in Topsham?  We are still looking forward to the day we have enough money to eat there.



It was actually in the Bath shopping plaza where the Shaw's is- they went out of business several years ago. I have not eaten at the one in Topsham- if and when we ever splurge (now a cholesterol splurge and not a money splurge!) we get Amato's


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## Zac495 (Aug 21, 2011)

Pay yourself first is so important. I just recently started talking to my son (16) about the disasters in college - like getting a credit card - and disasters at first job (debt again). We talked a lot about saving for the future when he's old like me (52 hee hee) and that at 52 I still want to climb the cliffs on the Amalfi drive - so I had to be smart.

Are we rich? Well my husband and I both make a good living (teacher salaries) so we're doing well. House will be paid off in 2 years. We're doing okay.

Life is balancing today and tomorrow. If you only save for retirement, you can't enjoy today. Yet you can't spend it all today as though 75 is your expected death (or end of fun) cause it's NOT TRUE.

Find a balance and try to enjoy each day.


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## bilfbr245 (Aug 21, 2011)

Rose Pink, Lovely thoughts from Thomas Jefferson, except when you consider that he died so deep in debt that most of his slaves had to be sold off to pay creditors.  He lived a very oppulent lifestyle thoughout his life that he could not afford.  He had wonderful ideas throughout his life, and we benefit from them today, but he did not always follow them himself.  A very interesting historical figure.


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## pgnewarkboy (Aug 21, 2011)

Zac495 said:


> Pay yourself first is so important. I just recently started talking to my son (16) about the disasters in college - like getting a credit card - and disasters at first job (debt again). We talked a lot about saving for the future when he's old like me (52 hee hee) and that at 52 I still want to climb the cliffs on the Amalfi drive - so I had to be smart.
> 
> Are we rich? Well my husband and I both make a good living (teacher salaries) so we're doing well. House will be paid off in 2 years. We're doing okay.
> 
> ...




Those Cliffs at the amalfi coast are impressively steep! Some resorts along the Cliffs have elevators to the beach.


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## skulipeg (Aug 21, 2011)

I never really clued in to things until after we were married at 23, and had paid off our mortgage at the age of 26.  I thought that was the norm, until the topic came up with our neighbours (and best friends) that are in their 60's, and just paid off their mortgage a few years after us.  Having money (we are simply well-off, not rich by any stretch of the imagination) has always been something I've taken for granted.  

We don't live a grandiose lifestyle, we buy simple yet reliable vehicles that will last us a long time, and we make sure we don't buy anything on credit unless we have money in the bank to pay it off immediately.  Apart from the few years we had a mortgage, we have never carried any debt.  I hope to raise our kids (9 and 2) with the same sense of financial responsibility; however I also hope to increase their awareness of their financial position so that they never take it for granted the way I did.


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## loafingcactus (Aug 21, 2011)

I waited a while to post my obsession point... I am glad that most people are able to acknowledge their wealth.  I happen to be in the age/income group that gives the least amount to charity (out of that inverted "u" where everyone older/younger and richer/poorer than my bracket gives more to charity than my group does) and I think a big part of it is this blindness to their own wealth.  "I cant buy that second BMW like my neighbor so I must not be rich" syndrome.  And my peers LOVE to talk up how poor they are... Ugh.


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## Rose Pink (Aug 21, 2011)

You know you are rich when you fear you may have lost it.

Today, while I was posting on TUG, DH screamed, "get dressed, call DIL, I've called 911!!!!!"   He and our son were cleaning out our garage and thoughts of blood and severed limbs came into my mind.  Turns out DS had passed out and would not come to.  Ambulance and fire truck arrive.  DS is starting to regain consciousness but is still not sure where he is, why, etc.  They take him to the ER.  DH and I drive our car to the ER.  DIL (DS's wife) arrives with her father.  DS does not remember the ambulance ride, does not know why he is in the hospital, does not remember why he is even in town (flew in yesterday for a wedding), does not know what day it is, when he is supposed to fly home, and keeps asking the same questions over and over as though he does not even remember asking them 30 seconds ago.  DH is beside himself with worry and looks like he is going to have a heart attack and I am scared almost to death over the both of them.

After blood tests, EKG and a CT scan of DS's head, the doctor says that it was probably dehydration.  Sodium is fine.  Potassium is a little low.  Stay hydrated, take potassium pills for the next few days and be watchful.  Go home.

That was my afternoon.  I feel rich that my family is okay and that we have 911 and access to medical care.


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## Rose Pink (Aug 21, 2011)

bilfbr245 said:


> Rose Pink, Lovely thoughts from Thomas Jefferson, except when you consider that he died so deep in debt that most of his slaves had to be sold off to pay creditors.  He lived a very oppulent lifestyle thoughout his life that he could not afford.  He had wonderful ideas throughout his life, and we benefit from them today, but he did not always follow them himself.  A very interesting historical figure.


I have wonderful ideas that I frequently do not follow through.  Guess I am in good company.


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## hvacrsteve (Aug 23, 2011)

When I actually got to eat more than half of a piece of chicken!
We always split the chicken 6 ways growng up.
I am sure we qualified for assistance, but my parents were much to proud to ever accept anything from anyone.

I still feel that way today.
If I didn't earn it, I don't want it.
I am not sure waht happened to the pride most of us grew up with.


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## LynnW (Aug 23, 2011)

I have been reading this thread and just remembered a funny story about being rich. I picked up my 6 year old grandson and his friend Joe from school and brought them to my house. Cameron took Joe downstairs to show him our big screen TV which at that time not a lot of people had and then also showed him our hot tub. Joe said to him your Grandma and Grandpa must be really rich they have a big TV a hot tub and even a bar down here. Cameron said but your's much be rich too because they always bring you lots of presents when they go away. He said no they're not rich at all the don't even have a house. Well the truth is Joe's grandparents have a condo in Calgary one in the Windermere Valley and another one in Scottsdale!  :hysterical: 

Lynn


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## MuranoJo (Aug 23, 2011)

hvacrsteve said:


> When I actually got to eat more than half of a piece of chicken!
> We always split the chicken 6 ways growng up.
> I am sure we qualified for assistance, but my parents were much to proud to ever accept anything from anyone.
> 
> ...



I can relate.  Imagine one chicken (Sundays only) or 1 lb. hamburger and 9 in the family.  Didn't have to worry about gaining weight back then.   It wasn't until I was older that I imagined how tough that must have been for Mom & Dad.  We didn't starve--we just didn't eat that much.  No toys, all make it up as you go.


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## pjrose (Aug 24, 2011)

Rose Pink said:


> You know you are rich when you fear you may have lost it.
> 
> Today, while I was posting on TUG, DH screamed, "get dressed, call DIL, I've called 911!!!!!"   . . .
> 
> That was my afternoon.  I feel rich that my family is okay and that we have 911 and access to medical care.



I can certainly relate to that, and frequently remind DD, who is an ER "frequent flier," that she's so lucky to have access to good medical care and coverage.  Tonight she had one of her many syncopes - faints - and afterward when we all went out front to the finish-up window DH and I stood back.  DD looked a bit bewildered, but the clerk handed her papers to sign and she did.  Then the clerk said there was a $50 co-pay.  DD looked a bit confused and looked at us; I said "well, you're an adult now," the clerk said to DD "yeah, that's a hard lesson to learn," and DH pulled out his credit card.   

I feel rich that we can help our kids transition financially to adulthood - even though they are over 18, we can cover the education and medical expenses until they're out of school.  We can help with some of their initial start-up expenses instead of having to push them out of the next.  I'd feel even richer if BOTH of them appreciated it LOL, and when they are OUT of the nest and we are finally on OUR own, I hope I'll feel I've done a good job and will then feel very rich indeed.


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## MommaBear (Aug 24, 2011)

I have enjoyed reading all the different posts and totally agree that being rich is much more a state of mind than a number in an account. However, for each person there is a certain amount of money that is necessary to allow peace of mind. I remember too well not being able to take my baby to the doctor's for an illness because I hadn't been able to pay the $10 copay the visit before and having to wait until DH got paid. The $20 (10 for the previous vist and 10 for the new visit) was 10% of the weekly take home and meant that we ate alot of carbs and strange combos that week. BTW- tuna and cauliflower cassserole the worst recipe I EVER made. Rose Pink, I am so happy that your DS is alright. I work in an ER and often have to give the bad news and am always relieved and happy when I can give the good news. I am definitely rich in all the ways that count.


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## AwayWeGo (Aug 24, 2011)

*Micawber Principle (From Charles Dickens).*

_Annual income 20 pounds, annual expenditure 19 pounds 19 & 6, result happiness. 

Annual income 20 pounds, annual expenditure 20 pounds ought & 6, result misery._

(from Dickens's _David Copperfield,_ 1860.)​
-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


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## Rose Pink (Aug 24, 2011)

pjrose said:


> ...  I'd feel even richer if BOTH of them appreciated it LOL, ....


 
 Appreciation is a treasure that money cannot buy.  

Acknowledgement is also a treasure. I remember when my son said to me, "Mom, you were right."  I can't remember what it was about or even when it happened.  All I remember is that he was a young adult and he said I was right.  Couldn't have made me happier if he'd bought me a Mercedes.


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## Rose Pink (Aug 24, 2011)

MommaBear said:


> I have enjoyed reading all the different posts and totally agree that being rich is much more a state of mind than a number in an account. However, for each person there is a certain amount of money that is necessary to allow peace of mind. ....


 
There was a study awhile back about money and happiness and it did show that enough to pay for necessities and a little extra, IIRC, added to happiness.  Past that point, it didn't.  I think I am at that point.  We have enough to cover necessities plus some extra for vacations, etc but not so much that we can just go out and buy whatever.  I don't have to clip coupons or study the weekly grocery ads anymore.  It's nice to be able to buy premium ice cream without checking the bank balance but driving past the Mercedes Benz dealership the other day, I realized I couldn't just go in and buy one of those.


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## SueDonJ (Aug 24, 2011)

Rose Pink said:


> You know you are rich when you fear you may have lost it. ...





pjrose said:


> I can certainly relate to that ...



I can relate, too.  Eileen's first seizure episode was when she was 7 or 8 and it involved an ambulance ride from a department store to the ER.  She was out of it like your son, Rose, and we were both frightened.  Thankfully, the costs for that trip and follow-up EEG and MRI tests weren't even on the radar because of our good health insurance.

Her second episode happened while she was away, a junior in college and over 18YO.  That call came from her friend who was terrified but stayed with her for the ambulance ride and ER visit.  It was so difficult to be at home and not be able to talk to the ER doctor - he didn't agree to speak directly with me until Eileen was out of her fog and could give informed consent, which took about two hours.  We brought her home that night to see her doctor the next morning, who convinced us that her more-extensive follow-up care  (Holter monitor, more EEG's, MRI's etc) could be done through the medical center back at school.  Very nerve-wracking but again the cost wasn't even on the radar - good care and good coverage were readily available.

The next episode - if there is one <knock on wood> - is going to mean that Eileen will lose her driver's license and that thought terrifies her.  In her mind all the money in the world wouldn't mean anything if she couldn't drive.


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## SueDonJ (Aug 24, 2011)

Rose Pink said:


> Appreciation is a treasure that money cannot buy.
> 
> Acknowledgement is also a treasure. I remember when my son said to me, "Mom, you were right."  I can't remember what it was about or even when it happened.  All I remember is that he was a young adult and he said I was right.  Couldn't have made me happier if he'd bought me a Mercedes.



I love this.


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