# Favorite Motto



## dmharris (Aug 29, 2011)

What is your favorite motto or bumper sticker you've seen in a public place?  

I enjoy the one at my local whole grain bread store:  "Unattended children will be given sugar and a puppy!".


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 29, 2011)

I like that one, too.
I just read one on FB: Remember, everything happens for a reason.  So, when I hit you upside the head, I had a reason.


----------



## dmharris (Aug 29, 2011)

Rose Pink said:


> I like that one, too.
> I just read one on FB: Remember, everything happens for a reason.  So, when I hit you upside the head, I had a reason.



Good one!  STILL LOL! :rofl:


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 29, 2011)

Eat healthy.  Exercise daily.  Don't drink. Die anyway.


----------



## PigsDad (Aug 29, 2011)

dmharris said:


> I enjoy the one at my local whole grain bread store:  "Unattended children will be given sugar and a puppy!".


_Very _similar one in a local coffee shop that I frequent:

"Unattended children will be given _an expresso _and a puppy!"

Kurt


----------



## hvacrsteve (Aug 29, 2011)

Besides' Ignorance is free, therefore abundant!'
I also go by 'Work smarter, not harder!'


----------



## pgnewarkboy (Aug 29, 2011)

On a grave stone. First I wasn't then I was then I wasn't again.


----------



## dmbrand (Aug 29, 2011)

Used to say this to my kids all the time....


----------



## Fern Modena (Aug 29, 2011)

I have two:
I can cry because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses--unknown
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --Maya Angelou


----------



## BevL (Aug 29, 2011)

*I am going to love this thread.*

I have two:

Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water! - Eleanor Roosevelt

And:

"It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission" - Generally attributed to U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Grace Hopper.

I must be in trouble a lot - both of my favourites have me in a jam!!


----------



## shagnut (Aug 29, 2011)

My motto: Tan fat looks better than white fat!!

My Mothers: you get more with sugar than vinegar.

? it's easier to be nice than an old grouch!!


----------



## ampaholic (Aug 29, 2011)

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill


----------



## ampaholic (Aug 29, 2011)

pgnewarkboy said:


> On a grave stone. First I wasn't then I was then I wasn't again.



My favorite marker quote: "See, I told you I was sick"


----------



## CarlK (Aug 29, 2011)

Don't sweat the small stuff.

It's all small stuff!


Carl


----------



## easyrider (Aug 29, 2011)

When in doubt, throttle out.

Early to bed...early to rise...fish all day...make up lies


----------



## UWSurfer (Aug 29, 2011)

Culver City Meat Co.   "You can't Beat our Meat"


----------



## Luanne (Aug 29, 2011)

"Just do it!"  Nike

"Do or do not there is no try."  Yoda


----------



## beach.bar.bob (Aug 29, 2011)

Applicable when trying to help someone...
"I can't care about it more than you do!"

bbb


----------



## AwayWeGo (Aug 29, 2011)

*Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense.*




dmharris said:


> Favorite Motto


When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## Zac495 (Aug 29, 2011)

I "wrote" mine after I had my son (I'm a school teacher)

SMILE, Somebody's Zac.

My motto basically means that every little monster is loved by someone - just like you love your child! It's important for teachers to remember this every day.


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 29, 2011)

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns


----------



## Elan (Aug 29, 2011)

"Do the right thing.  Even when nobody's looking."


----------



## ScubaKat (Aug 29, 2011)

It's nice to be smart... But it's smarter to be nice..


----------



## mecllap (Aug 29, 2011)

Live Long and Prosper.  Peace and Long Life.  (Vulcans)

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.  (Helen Hayes)

Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

My bumper says  "Be a Friend, Not a Bully"

The tailgate says "Imagine Peace"


----------



## Htoo0 (Aug 29, 2011)

A little hard work never hurt anybody...but why take chances.


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 29, 2011)

Visualize whirled peas.

When reviewing history, always remember to put Horace before Descartes.


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 29, 2011)

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.


----------



## Conan (Aug 29, 2011)

I just came across a quote that I liked so much I made it my signature:


----------



## jackio (Aug 29, 2011)

Be the kind of woman who, when she wakes up in the morning, the Devil says "oh crap, she's up!"  

Be a stand-byer instead of a bystander (anti-bullying campaign in my school)


----------



## MuranoJo (Aug 29, 2011)

jackio said:


> Be the kind of woman who, when she wakes up in the morning, the Devil  *my DH *says "oh crap, she's up!"



Maybe I'm in trouble.


----------



## jme (Aug 29, 2011)

(1) "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
(2) "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
(3) "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

all by Mark Twain

BUT my favorite of all time:

April 29,1962, by President John F. Kennedy in welcoming a group of Nobel Prize winners to a dinner in their honor at The White House. The extended quote is: “I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House — with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.”

Amen, brother!


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 29, 2011)

Just because you have the right to do it, doesn't mean it is the right thing to do.


----------



## Talent312 (Aug 29, 2011)

"A termite goes into a bar, looks around and asks, 'Where is the bar-tender?'"

"Why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow?" -- Me.


----------



## glypnirsgirl (Aug 30, 2011)

It is not my favorite motto, but every time I think of it, I laugh,

"You can use Crisco to make pie crust, who knew?"

elaine


----------



## Htoo0 (Aug 30, 2011)

One of my favorite business one's was by a fastener company. "Let us screw up your next job!"


----------



## jlwquilter (Aug 30, 2011)

glypnirsgirl said:


> It is not my favorite motto, but every time I think of it, I laugh,
> 
> "You can use Crisco to make pie crust, who knew?"
> 
> elaine



Ok, please explain. I use Crisco to make pie crust all the time!

Oh wait.... maybe I get it after all!


----------



## jlwquilter (Aug 30, 2011)

Done is done - by me.

DH, after many years of hearing it from me on just about a daily basis,  has not only embraced the concept (he just needs to practice it a bit more!) but has actively passed it on to his direct reports.

'Supposed to' is my least favorite phrase - also by me. It's code for 'who knows what will really happen, what was really done, etc.' Ugh!


----------



## pittle (Aug 30, 2011)

"It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark - Plan Ahead!"


----------



## Beaglemom3 (Aug 30, 2011)

dmharris said:


> What is your favorite motto or bumper sticker you've seen in a public place?
> 
> I enjoy the one at my local whole grain bread store:  "Unattended children will be given sugar and a puppy!".


 
  Funny.

  Kurt said it first, but it bears repeating.....

My favorite breakfast restaurant has a similar sign, "Unattended children will be given a double espresso, a drum and a puppy".

  Seen driving into work today on a bumper sticker, " Warning, I stop at red lights".  This is appreciated if you're a Massachusetts driver ! Ha.

  Another favorite:   " I miss Pluto"   and  "Hester Primm was framed !".

Nice thread !


----------



## dmharris (Aug 30, 2011)

Beaglemom3 said:


> Nice thread !



With all the dire news with earthquakes, hurricanes, dictatorships, poor economy, etc. I felt we needed some uplifting.  I particularly need a good laugh everyday so thought I'd start it off.  I also need encouragement so I appreciate the motivational quotes.  Personally I collect quotes and have 20+ pages of them.  But I was in the 'bumper sticker mood' when I started this thread.  

Keep it coming, funny or poignant, or both!


----------



## dmharris (Aug 30, 2011)

So I can't remember jokes or movies (which keeps me entertained each time I hear or see them again) but I do remember this one bumper sticker that set me off laughing at the audacity of the thought posted publicly on a bumper sticker.  I wonder how this went over in their parking lot at work, wherever?

"When I die, bury me upside down, and kiss my A%#.


----------



## Kay H (Aug 30, 2011)

When I had 3 sons in college at the same time my motto was "If you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question".  I still live by that today.


----------



## mpizza (Aug 30, 2011)

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”  Dr. Seuss

Maria


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 30, 2011)

What's a motto?
Nothing.  What's a motto with you?

(Hakuna Matata--The Lion King)


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 30, 2011)

A pessimist is a man who married an optimist.


----------



## ScubaKat (Aug 31, 2011)

"Women are Angels, when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.....on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."


----------



## SmithOp (Aug 31, 2011)

'wherever you go, there you are'

'its all about YOU isnt it?'

'if i dont hurry i'll be late getting off early'


----------



## BevL (Aug 31, 2011)

ScubaKat said:


> "Women are Angels, when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.....on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."



Oh, this one is going to be used FOR SURE!!

I knew I was going to pick up some good ones here.


----------



## Glynda (Aug 31, 2011)

*Mine*

When overwhelmed I tell myself "Just do the next thing."

I saw this one recently on FB "When someone's character is not clear to you, look at that person's friends."


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 31, 2011)

ScubaKat said:


> "Women are Angels, when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.....on a broomstick. We are flexible like that."


Oh, I do like this one.


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 31, 2011)

Glynda said:


> When overwhelmed I tell myself "Just do the next thing."
> 
> I saw this one recently on FB "When someone's character is not clear to you, look at that person's friends."


I like these, too.


----------



## AwayWeGo (Aug 31, 2011)

*I (Almost) Resemble That Remark.*




Glynda said:


> Just do the next thing.


Do the next _right_ thing. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## derb (Aug 31, 2011)

If your going to be dumb, you better be tough.


----------



## puppymommo (Aug 31, 2011)

Beaglemom3 said:


> Seen driving into work today on a bumper sticker, " Warning, I stop at red lights".  This is appreciated if you're a Massachusetts driver ! Ha.



I've always wanted a bumper sticker that said "Pardon me for driving the speed limit."


----------



## dmbrand (Aug 31, 2011)

Saw this on a signboard today....

Only dead fish go with the flow.


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 31, 2011)

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."    
 —      Elbert Hubbard


----------



## MommaBear (Aug 31, 2011)

Oh! I like so manyy of these- I may have to print them off because I can no longer remember as much as I used to.

My new favorite bumper sticker- with the pink ribbon logo  "save the ta tas"


----------



## Blues (Aug 31, 2011)

Famous bumper sticker, from back in the '70s, I believe --

Your karma ran over my dogma


----------



## AwayWeGo (Aug 31, 2011)

*The Wisdom Of Barry Goldwater.*

_Illegitimi non carborundum._

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## ampaholic (Aug 31, 2011)

Wag more ... Bark Less

My new fav bumper sticker:

If you are in such a hurry - what are you doing behind me?


----------



## joycapecod (Aug 31, 2011)

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. (I think this was attributed to Brian O'Driscoll)

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. (often said to DH)

Joy


----------



## joycapecod (Aug 31, 2011)

*from the movie Julie & Julia*

You can never have too much butter!

Joy


----------



## pedro47 (Aug 31, 2011)

dmharris said:


> "Unattended children will be given sugar and a puppy!".



This should be display at every sporting event, cruise ship and every restaurant in the world.


----------



## laurac260 (Aug 31, 2011)

*While this isn't my MOTTO...*

It's amusing nonetheless.  I actually saw it on the back of a truck that empties out septic tanks.  

"If you don't shit, we don't eat.":ignore:


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 31, 2011)

When men and women agree it's only on the conclusions.  The reasons always differ.


----------



## MULTIZ321 (Aug 31, 2011)

The only difference between Champ and Chump is "u".

Seen on truck bumper sticker in Texas - "You're in the Bible Belt & We're the Buckle."

We're given 2 ears and 1 mouth which is why Listening is Twice as Hard as Talking.


Richard


----------



## Kel (Aug 31, 2011)

*Life is Short*

Life is short.  Enjoy your family and friends.  Travel and try new things.


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Sep 1, 2011)

I used to be snow white.  But I drifted.  ~ Mae West


----------



## dmharris (Sep 1, 2011)

You're all doing great!  You've added to my laugh quota for the day, thanks a bunch!  Keep them coming.


----------



## Texasbelle (Sep 2, 2011)

*From  the Sparks' book, 3 Weeks With My Brother*

Mom says, "What you want and what you get are sometimes entirely different."


----------



## AwayWeGo (Sep 2, 2011)

*A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss.*




Texasbelle said:


> Mom says, "What you want and what you get are sometimes entirely different."


Mick Jagger says, "You don't always get what you want." 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## sun starved Gayle (Sep 2, 2011)

My husband's favorite:

WHY BE NORMAL?

And for some reason, this has become the standard flip response in our house when someone asks for something:

AND PEOPLE IN HELL WANT ICE WATER.......

Yes, I know we are weird (see quote #1)


----------



## AwayWeGo (Sep 2, 2011)

*Old Granddad.*




sun starved Gayle said:


> PEOPLE IN HELL WANT ICE WATER.


I can remember hearing my mild-mannered Scottish grandfather say that. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Sep 2, 2011)

I've married a few people I shouldn't have, but haven't we all?  ~ Mamie van Doren


----------



## Liz Wolf-Spada (Sep 2, 2011)

From Amarcord, a 1970's Fellini movie: "Some days you're normal; some days you're not."
Liz


----------



## beanie (Sep 2, 2011)

Any day above ground is a good day - seen on a church


----------



## bobbornstein (Sep 2, 2011)

If You're Lucky Enough
To Be At The Beach.

You're Lucky enough!


----------



## MULTIZ321 (Sep 2, 2011)

Liz Wolf-Spada said:


> From Amarcord, a 1970's Fellini movie: "Some days you're normal; some days you're not."
> Liz




Liz,

Amarcord is one of my favorite Fellini movies. 'Juliet of the Spirits' is my favorite.


Richard


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Sep 2, 2011)

Angels who guard you while you drive
Usually retire at sixty-five.


----------



## isisdave (Sep 2, 2011)

ScubaKat said:


> It's nice to be smart... But it's smarter to be nice..



From Pippin:

It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart.


----------



## klpca (Sep 2, 2011)

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person"

and an oldie but goodie: "Can't fix stupid"

And your happy thought for the day: "A good laugh is sunshine in a house."


----------



## Htoo0 (Sep 2, 2011)

sun starved Gayle said:


> My husband's favorite:
> 
> WHY BE NORMAL?
> 
> ...



My wife has the WHY BE NORMAL? button with the NORMAL? upside down (or is it the other way around?). As for the 2nd one, my standard response is, "I know, would you like some too?"


----------



## yumdrey (Sep 2, 2011)

*Shopping Mathematics*

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t need


----------



## yumdrey (Sep 2, 2011)

*Appearance*

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed
Women somehow deteriorate during the night


----------



## yumdrey (Sep 2, 2011)

*Propensity to Change*

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does


----------



## yumdrey (Sep 2, 2011)

A woman has the last word in any argument
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

(I like this one)


----------



## yumdrey (Sep 2, 2011)

*Office Arithmetic*

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


----------



## BevL (Sep 2, 2011)

sun starved Gayle said:


> . . .
> 
> And for some reason, this has become the standard flip response in our house when someone asks for something:
> 
> ...



Love this one - going into my arsenal.


----------



## Htoo0 (Sep 3, 2011)

yumdrey said:


> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does



Wish I had heard that many years before I did.   The version I remember is- A man marries a woman believing she will never change, a woman marries a man believing she can change him, and they're both wrong.


----------



## mickeyfinn (Sep 3, 2011)

*Don't know if all of these are appropriate or not but here goes:*

Motto about a pretty woman:

No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her crap.

Politics:
Saw this on the back of a septic truck

"Caution, this truck carries political promises"

Seen on a billboard years ago-
Illiterate?
Write for free help

Edited to get rid of the direct political references.


----------



## Rose Pink (Sep 3, 2011)

Mickey, you may want to read/review the posting guidelines as to what is allowed/not allowed on TUG.  Then you may want to delete  parts of your post before the moderators have to do it.

Welcome to TUG.


----------



## isisdave (Sep 3, 2011)

Kissin' don't last. Cookin' do.


----------



## KauaiMark (Sep 3, 2011)

*On the back of a paving truck*

Paving truck bumper sticker: "Asphalt is not a medical condition"


----------



## gpurtz (Sep 4, 2011)

Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself!


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Sep 4, 2011)

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.  ~ George Burns


----------



## easyrider (Sep 4, 2011)

Just a jerk on one end of a line, waiting for a jerk on the other....

You know your a redneck if you think megabytes is a good day fishing.


----------



## Gary (Sep 5, 2011)

My version, that I actually use at work:

I am not attached to all my ideas. The only way I can have good ideas is to have a lot of ideas.


----------



## Catira (Sep 5, 2011)

"words like friends should be chosen with care"


I found this quote several years ago after my only sister and I had been in an argument. She said many hurtful things to me, and then two days later emailed me apologizing. Of course, she said she did not mean everything she had said..but the fact is that I will NEVER forget the words that came out of her mouth.

Now, I am very careful when I post things online whether it be here or any other forum. Once those little words have been said or posted there is no "delete" button.


----------



## AwayWeGo (Sep 5, 2011)

*Tender Words Of Wisdom.*




Catira said:


> Once those little words have been said or posted there is no "delete" button.


That's why they recommend using words that are soft & mild -- ones that are easier to get down when you have to eat them. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## falmouth3 (Sep 5, 2011)

"I'm still hot, it just comes in flashes."


----------



## Passepartout (Sep 5, 2011)

DW says- and who am I to contradict- "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."

Jim Ricks


----------



## 14thMed (Sep 5, 2011)

No good deed goes unpunished


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Sep 5, 2011)

Modern art is what happens when painters and sculptors stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.  ~ John Ciardi


----------



## javabean (Sep 6, 2011)

Bumper Sticker:   

 "Enjoy your weekends?  Thank organized labor."


While driving across country we passed a church with this message board outside.    

 "Sign broken....message inside."

thanks for this thread.


----------



## ldodd (Sep 9, 2011)

Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
 - Alice Roosevelt Longworth


----------



## scrapngen (Sep 9, 2011)

"What's that got to do with the price of yak butter in Tibet??"
variant  "What's that got to do with the price of tea in China?"

My mom was always saying this...along with "if you don't know what it means, look it up in the dictionary"

unfortunately, she also  said this variant:  "if you don't know how to spell it, look it up..."  (I always thought that made no sense at all!)

and "Why be Normal" was definitely my family's motto


----------



## Rose Pink (Sep 9, 2011)

It's so hard being you.

We're all here because we're not all there.

Spare me the drama.

If it weren't for flashbacks, I'd have no memory at all. (which would explain why these might be repeats of previous posts)


----------



## ampaholic (Sep 9, 2011)

Bumper sticker seen in Kalispell Mt.

"If they don't want you to drink and drive - why do bars have parking lots?"


----------



## Passepartout (Sep 9, 2011)

ampaholic said:


> Bumper sticker seen in Kalispell Mt.
> 
> "If they don't want you to drink and drive - why do bars have parking lots?"



Why do they sell alcohol in gas stations and even more scary- truck stops?  

Jim


----------



## AwayWeGo (Sep 9, 2011)

*Oh, Thank Heaven !*




Passepartout said:


> Why do they sell alcohol in gas stations and even more scary- truck stops?


On a business trip to Las Vegas 1 time, I noticed that a 7-Eleven store on the outskirts offered gasoline, liquor, & ammunition. 

Plus, it had slot machines on site. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## Rose Pink (Sep 9, 2011)

Whatever it is, I didn't do it.


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Sep 10, 2011)

A hand in the bush is always better than a bird in the hand.


----------



## MULTIZ321 (Sep 10, 2011)

Bumper Sticker seen in University Park, PA - There is no I in Team,

Richard


----------



## b2bailey (Sep 12, 2011)

For her...the water was never wet enough.


----------



## AwayWeGo (Sep 12, 2011)

*The Center Of Attention.*

The bride at every wedding & the corpse at every funeral. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## Rose Pink (Sep 13, 2011)

To err is human.

To arrr is pirate.


----------



## AwayWeGo (Sep 13, 2011)

*Computer Motto.*

To err is unlikely. 

To forgive is unnecessary. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## skj62 (Sep 16, 2011)

Don't know who said it.

Anything worth doing is worth putting off til tomorrow


----------



## skj62 (Sep 16, 2011)

Mom's favorite:
Who said life was going to be fair..


----------



## Passepartout (Sep 16, 2011)

Most any project gives me an excuse to use:

I don't care what it looks like, it's only the appearance that counts.

Jim


----------



## easyrider (Sep 16, 2011)

"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point." Billy Graham 


My personal favorite moto this week was " FISH ON".  I'm not sure its a moto but maybe more of a nice way of saying " Outa the way stupid".


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Sep 16, 2011)

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.


----------



## easyrider (Sep 16, 2011)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.



Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.


----------



## 26weeker (Sep 16, 2011)

no time to do it right, but plenty of time to do it over.


----------



## dmharris (Sep 18, 2011)

You only get one chance to make a first impression.


----------

