# eBay: What to do if buyer says "I changed my mind" - can't leave negative FB now



## Amy (Jun 14, 2008)

I had an auction close this afternoon - very small ticket item for around $5.  The buyer just emailed me and said he/she has changed his/her mind and has bought the item elsewhere.  I'm a little at a loss.  I've sold on and off since 2001 and this has never happened to me before.  And now I cannot leave negative feedback for buyers.  I've tried looking at the eBay help info and it looks like I could file an unpaid item dispute or I could just let this go and offer the second highest bidder to buy at the second highest bidder price.  Is that right?  Did I miss anything else?  I know it is a small thing, but I'm upset with this "change mind" process.  What the heck happened to bidding = commitment to buy?  If I did want to file a dispute just to make a point, I'm a bit afraid that the buyer will leave me negative feedback even though I cannot.  Advice please?


----------



## AwayWeGo (Jun 14, 2008)

*Five Bucks, Shmyve Bux.*




Amy said:


> Advice please?


No doubt this mind-changing doofus has generated $100 worth of aggravation over this $5 transaction. 

Even so, the bottom line is still just $5. 

In that situation, I think I'd just shake my head & shrug & let it go. 

Next time, forget eBay.  Go with Craig's List. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## klynn (Jun 14, 2008)

If you file an dispute because of lack of payment, you have to wait 7 days before you can file and then wait up to another 7 days before you re-sell.  It's not worth it over a $5.00 item.  What I would do is release the buyer by immediately filing an unpaid dispute due to mutual agreement of canceling the transaction.  Email the buyer and tell them this is the process to cancel the transaction and a way for your to recoup some of your fees.  Tell them it will not affect their account in any way and to agree to the cancelation ASAP.  (If for some reason they do don't answer the mutual cancelation, you will have to wait 7 days before you can close the dispute.)  As soon as this is done you will be free to relist or offer a second chance offer.


----------



## BocaBum99 (Jun 14, 2008)

Just write it off and expect a percentage of your eBay business to do exactly the same thing.

It's not worth doing anything to get back money or to seek retribution.  It will just lead to you having one more negative feedback on your account.


----------



## Amy (Jun 15, 2008)

Thanks, I needed that perspective, as I'm still stewing over this tiny $5 deal.  Is there any downside if I were to send a snarky reply saying, "I'll go ahead and initiate the process for . . . . but what part of the statement, "By clicking on the button below, you commit to buy this item from the seller if you're the winning bidder" did you not understand?"

I know it won't make a difference in the outcome of the transaction, but it'll make me feel better.  But I won't do it if there is a downside that I haven't considered.


----------



## Amy (Jun 15, 2008)

If I were to initiate the unpaid dispute process and do a mutual withdraw, then I no longer may use the Second Chance Offer, right?  I'd like to contact the next highest bidder instead of starting over with the auction.  I have read the eBay policy pages but I'm still not certain of the answer to this question.


----------



## klynn (Jun 15, 2008)

Amy said:


> If I were to initiate the unpaid dispute process and do a mutual withdraw, then I no longer may use the Second Chance Offer, right? I'd like to contact the next highest bidder instead of starting over with the auction. I have read the eBay policy pages but I'm still not certain of the answer to this question.


 
You can still send a second chance offer after the mutual withdraw.  I copied and pasted from Ebay:

*Unpaid Item*
In the unfortunate event that you have an Unpaid Item, you can send a Second Chance Offer to any one of your non-winning bidders to try to complete your sale. Second Chance Offers can be created immediately after a listing ends for up to 60 days. Sellers should ensure that everything possible has been done to resolve the issue with the high bidder before sending a Second Chance Offer to another bidder.


----------



## Amy (Jun 15, 2008)

I am so mad!  I couldn't help but send the snarky comment in my message doing the mutual withdraw.  She confirmed vis eBay's dispute process.  But then she left me negative feedback!!!!!   I want to tear my hair out now.  So I only have myself to blame.  I think.  Grrrrr.


----------



## Keitht (Jun 15, 2008)

There must be some way to complain to ebay about unjustified negative feedback, isn't there?


----------



## Amy (Jun 15, 2008)

Unfortunately, I was only able to add a reply, and, due to space limitations, this is all I could squeeze in:  "Buyer changes mind; I let her withdraw after reminding her of commitment to buy."  By the way, this is what she said along with her negative feedback:  "Seller thinks she knows it all- I DO NOT TRUST THIS SELLER - Bad 1 Here RUN FAST"  I just finished reading a thread on the eBay seller's forum and some of the examples I read there of eBay's refusal to remove negative feedback even when clearly retaliatory (e.g., seller filed dispute seeking payment, buyer files negative feedback in retaliation for the claim and STILL refused to pay, and eBay denied seller's request for feedback removal).  So I'm stuck with my sudden horrible 91% positive feedback after 7 years of 100% positive.  I'm thinking I ought to end all my current live auctions, even ones with bids on it, since I don't think I'll be getting those last minute bidders and my otherwise $$ items will go for pennies.  I'm so upset I'm still awake at 4:30 in the morning!  Going to bed now.

ETA:  I forgot to mention my run of bad luck with eBay feedback started Saturday morning when a buyer mistakenly left me my 1st negative feedback because she clicked submit too quickly.  She has contacted eBay to correct the error and left a follow up comment explaining the error.  But I'm still stuck with the bad #s right now.


----------



## stugy (Jun 15, 2008)

Several years ago when I first started selling on ebay I had 2 instances where I left negative feedback.  The first item was clearly misrepresented on the auction site ( I was the buyer) and in the second instance the buyer never paid.  I left negative feedback and they quickly retaliated.  I had 2 negative feedbacks.  I learned never to do it again even though I had a few instances where  buyers never paid and few where I (the buyer) bought a misrepresented item.  It just was not worth it.  The new rules are to prevent sellers from retaliating when buyers leave negative feedback.  Unfortunately it leaves us with no recourse when they don't pay.  I learned my lesson, now I guess you have learned one.  It's just not worth it.  Go sell more items, the more you sell, the higher your positive rating will become and the 91% will soon be 99%.  I believe that buyers will recognize that negative for what it is. Good luck. 
Pat


----------



## Patri (Jun 15, 2008)

I once sold a heavy thing and the ad clearly stated it must be picked up in person. The winner lived halfway across the country. So of course, when I notified him it would cost megabucks to ship, he says, OK, no thanks.
I let it go. He sounded naive about eBay. Got my fees back and sold it through a local paper.


----------



## stevedmatt (Jun 15, 2008)

You can respond to feedback left for you.

A good response in this situation is,

"Retaliation to my negative for non payment. Contact me for our correspondence."

The problem still remains that people may see 91% and not even look at the reason. I personally look at the last couple months of feedback for any purchase I make on EBay. There are so many negatives for retaliation on their feedback system. A quick glance through someones feedback can reveal that responses like you received are obvious retaliation.


----------



## AwayWeGo (Jun 15, 2008)

*Feedback, Shmeedback.*




Amy said:


> I am so mad!  I couldn't help but send the snarky comment in my message doing the mutual withdraw.  She confirmed vis eBay's dispute process.  But then she left me negative feedback!


That's why it's better just to swallow hard & let it go -- to focus on the $5 worth of money instead of the $100 worth of aggravation. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## Wonka (Jun 15, 2008)

Actually, I really like the new process.  Whenever I've left negative feedback, the seller has lied with some kind of negative response.  I can remember a couple of situations, one guy was selling copied software and advertising it as "new" software, another sent me a broken scanner.  Another didn't send anything at all.  Several hundred dollars was involved.  I left negative feedback as a buyer, they retaliated with bogus lies and I couldn't respond again.  They might still be in my feedback 5 years later.  So frankly, I think it's about time ebay changed their policy.


----------



## Icarus (Jun 15, 2008)

Amy said:


> I know it won't make a difference in the outcome of the transaction, but it'll make me feel better.  But I won't do it if there is a downside that I haven't considered.



Wasn't posting here enough for you to vent about a $5 item?

You may be able to have the feedback removed if you can prove that the buyer had no intention of fulfilling their obligation of paying for the item after they bid on it. Hopefully you have that email from the buyer. Good luck with that, but it's just more aggravation and you'll probably get even more aggravated if/when ebay decides not to remove that negative feedback.

http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/feedback-removal.html

As Alan pointed out, you could have just let it go.

-David


----------



## pjrose (Jun 15, 2008)

What an annoying situation.  Yes, it's only $5.00, and the other posters are right about letting it go, but I would have stewed about it as well.  It's principal!  

It's even worse that it's escalated into messing up your feedback.  Grrrrrrr.

I would try to find some way to report the buyer (or non-buyer) to eBay - maybe they keep track of non-paying buyers?  If not, they certainly should!

Feedback can only be left by the actual buyer, right?   If the first buyer backs out and you do a second-chance offer, doesn't the new buyer become the actual buyer?  I'd think that would change who can submit feedback - but I guess it doesn't if the second-chance offer is off the eBay map.  

Once again, Grrrrrrr.


----------



## AwayWeGo (Jun 15, 2008)

*Ah, If Only . . .*




Icarus said:


> As Alan pointed out, you could have just let it go.


If only _everybody_ followed _all_ of Uncle Alan's advice about _everything every_ time . . . 

(The Chief Of Staff, for instance.  Wouldn't _that_ be something ? ) 

The mind boggles. 

So it goes. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax Count), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## suzanne (Jun 15, 2008)

I understand your situation and the frustration. I just sold an item on eBay, stated in two spots in bold in my ad for the item that I only ship to addresses in the USA. The person who won the bid totally ignored this and immediately paid for the item at the end of the auction thru Paypal. He was in Valencia Spain. I went ahead and shipped the item and paid the additonal $26.00 cost for the shipping. I could have gave the money back declined the sale I guess, but could find nothing in the rules about it. I decided as angry as I was that he ignored my shipping instructions to pay the shipping instead of getting a negative feedback from him.  My item was $220.00 not a $5.00 item so I had more to lose in terms of money than you did but it is very frustrating now that you can't leave negative feedback on buyers like this.

Suzanne


----------



## Amy (Jun 15, 2008)

I did let it go by submitting a claim through the unpaid item process and electing the mutual withdraw process.   (Not letting go would mean I elect the ask for payment process).  I was told I should do that by many eBay sellers because if I did not and I sold the item to another via the 2nd Chance process, the original seller could have sent payment later and I would have come a non-compliant seller.  My mistake was reminding that buyer of what the policy was and she got mad.  And, since the new policy of no negative feedback at all completely ties the seller's hands, she had no incentive to stop from submitting negative feedback even when we've mutually withdrawn as buyer and seller with each other.  

The lesson I learned here is buyers can do no wrong via eBay now.  If I were to continue to sell I must always just let buyers do whatever they want because my feedback is at risk.  The eBay policy for removing a feedback is so limited that it basically is of little use to sellers dealing with retaliatory feedback.  I wish there was an alternative online site to eBay; I'd definitely move my business elsewhere.

On a side note, while searching the eBay help pages I came across another surprising *fact* of which I was not aware:



> *4.  "My Buyer says the item was damaged, but he did not buy Insurance.
> As a Seller, I'm not responsible for items lost or damaged during shipping." *
> 
> Yes, you are.
> ...


I, like many other sellers, always have that disclaimer re I cannot be responsible for loss {and sometimes damaged} items via the mail so insurance is recommended.  If I continue to sell I should start buying insurance myself or use UPS for my protection.  It is getting to be a real pain to use eBay to sell stuff.


----------



## wackymother (Jun 15, 2008)

If you have seven years of good fb and just two negatives, most buyers will look past the negatives. Especially the one you quoted here--I think that SCREAMS "Nutjob buyer!" When I see a nutty feedback and then a calm, reasonable response, it's easy to see what the situation is. 

I don't love the new eBay system, but I hope it might lead to a bit more honesty in the feedback system. Before, everyone had a feedback score in the 99 percent range, because everyone was so afraid of giving someone a negative and getting retaliatory feedback. Now it's totally one-sided, but if it follows the Amazon model, maybe eventually things will even out. 

Sorry you're going through this. I would try not to worry about it. A few more positives, and it'll be in your past.


----------



## wackymother (Jun 15, 2008)

Amy said:


> I, like many other sellers, always have that disclaimer re I cannot be responsible for loss {and sometimes damaged} items via the mail so insurance is recommended.  If I continue to sell I should start buying insurance myself or use UPS for my protection.  It is getting to be a real pain to use eBay to sell stuff.



For most items, I get a package tracking number, and for higher-ticket items, I get insurance on my own. There's nothing like the smug satisfaction you get when a buyer e-mails you and says he didn't receive something, and you can say, "Really? Because here's your tracking number, and it was delivered on September 3."


----------



## SDKath (Jun 15, 2008)

I agree with the previous poster.  Use USPS on line to ship your items.  Tracking number is included free.  If you give the option to get insurance and the buyer doesn't, than all you have to do is prove you sent it to be protected.  That proof is easy to be had via the USPS site.  If it's lost, that is no longer your problem.

As for the OP question, I don't think it matters if it is a $5 transaction or a $500 one.  This WILL happen to sellers more with the new feedback system.  They will have way more buyers flaking since the repercussions are less.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't like the old system either (I was always "blackmailed" into leaving positive feedback for sellers by them withholding feedback for me as a buyer even though I paid immediately).  But there should be a better system than what is currently in place, where buyers really don't see much in the way of penalties for changing their minds.

In any case, you should report a mutual withdrawl from the transaction so that you can get your fee back and relist for free (if you want).  Like I said, the point should not be that it's a $5 item, but that this is the new way eBay is working.  

Katherine


----------



## swift (Jun 15, 2008)

AwayWeGo said:


> If only _everybody_ followed _all_ of Uncle Alan's advice about _everything every_ time . . .
> 
> (The Chief Of Staff, for instance.  Wouldn't _that_ be something ? )
> 
> ...




I can see those rolling eyeballs now Alan!!


----------



## marsha77 (Jun 16, 2008)

Amy,  I agree with wackymother, as a buyer if I see 91%, I go & read...would see your response & hers - and than I would also think she was wrong...& would have no problem bidding.  That negative, I know is so upsetting, but I don't think it will hurt you.

Marsha



wackymother said:


> If you have seven years of good fb and just two negatives, most buyers will look past the negatives. Especially the one you quoted here--I think that SCREAMS "Nutjob buyer!" When I see a nutty feedback and then a calm, reasonable response, it's easy to see what the situation is.


----------

