# When you take friends on vacation



## R2Bbrock (May 7, 2010)

We have now taken another couple with us twice to Aruba.  Of course they pay their own airfare but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom  Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc. While I like having friends with us, I don't know what I should expect as far as payment - if anything. However, I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there. I'm pretty certain that in both cases the friends were knowledgeable enough to know approximately what it was costing us. It would have been nice if they offered to pay for dinners, the rental car or something but that doesn't seem to be the case.  I know that guests should be guests with no expectation on the part of "payback" by the host but after the second experience doing this I am starting to think that we should just go ourselves or take family. Any suggestions or input would be welcome.


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## frenchieinme (May 7, 2010)

R2Bbrock said:


> We have now taken another couple with us twice to Aruba.  Of course they pay their own airfare but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom  Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc. While I like having friends with us, I don't know what I should expect as far as payment - if anything. However, I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there. I'm pretty certain that in both cases the friends were knowledgeable enough to know approximately what it was costing us. It would have been nice if they offered to pay for dinners, the rental car or something but that doesn't seem to be the case.  I know that guests should be guests with no expectation on the part of "payback" by the host but after the second experience doing this I am starting to think that we should just go ourselves or take family. Any suggestions or input would be welcome.



I know exactly how you feel as we have had the same experience but we approached it differently.  Unless your intentions are to invite them as family and not charge them ANYTHING, then you need to set the conditions.  There is nothing wrong with saying to them, "it will cost us $XYZ to be able to have a unit which would allow you to be our guests.  Is this something that would interest you?" I have done this with friends of ours and they have paid what one would be expected to pay.  On the other hand when the family comes down, it's on us as we like to share with them.  If nobody comes, we are very happy to listen to the sounds of peace and quiet.

frenchieinme


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## vacationhopeful (May 7, 2010)

I too have hosted persons and I know how you feel.  I agree with frenchieinme totally.

As to the past two trips, your guests act as though you are treating them out of guilt or their entitlement or you are so much wealthier than them (assuming they are not asking you to vacation at a prime location with them picking up the full tab).  You should expect a slightly icy shoulder when you bring this up for the next trip as you are changing the terms of their free vacation - I personally would just either start fresh with a new couple to travel with you or invite family.

Let us know if the original couple starts to inquiry about your ("theirs") upcoming vacation and have a practiced response - sometime along the lines of "We decide to invite other friends (family)" OR "We decide to go by ourselves as the economy is tight and we are cutting back on our costs".


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## Kal (May 7, 2010)

The last thing you should do is surprise the guests with a request for money while at the resort.

I routinely invite guests but clearly make the initial offer with a request that they share the maintenance fee.  This of course is only if they have their own separate bedroom and private bath.  Otherwise, if there is no sharing of the fee, I would expect a nice dinner, a few drinks etc.

The real problem is reserving a 2 BR unit long in advance, then 2 months prior to occupancy, the guests decide not to go.  I never say a word, but cross them off the list for any future consideration.  Unfortunately, non time share owners really don't understand how the financial part works.  Unless you tell them, they have no way of knowing.


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## Elan (May 7, 2010)

My experience in these types of situations is since you've included them a couple of times already and they haven't stepped up to offer to help financially, they never will, and will be less than receptive if you start asking for compensation.  I say either you find their company worthwhile enough to blow off the inequity, or just move on to include someone else that's more appreciative of your generosity.  

  I agree that non-TS owners typically think that once the TS is purchased, then it's effectively free to use.  A lot of them don't understand that there are annual MF's, exchange fees, etc..


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## dougp26364 (May 7, 2010)

R2Bbrock said:


> We have now taken another couple with us twice to Aruba.  Of course they pay their own airfare but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom  Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc. While I like having friends with us, I don't know what I should expect as far as payment - if anything. However, I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there. I'm pretty certain that in both cases the friends were knowledgeable enough to know approximately what it was costing us. It would have been nice if they offered to pay for dinners, the rental car or something but that doesn't seem to be the case.  I know that guests should be guests with no expectation on the part of "payback" by the host but after the second experience doing this I am starting to think that we should just go ourselves or take family. Any suggestions or input would be welcome.



When we take guests with us it's with the understanding that A) They'll pay their own way there and pay their own expenses and B) We don't expect any reimbursement for the accomadations or the rental car. 

We'll rent a car whether or not someone is with us so that's no big deal to me. As for the accomadations we're the ones who asked someone to travel with us so we're the ones who provide the accomadations. We only ask friends or family to travel with us when we've aquired a 2 bedroom or larger unit. If our needs are for a single bedroom unit then that's what we reserve. Generally speaking, we make our travel plans first, then invite guests when we have enough space to allow it. We try not to get anyone into the habit of expecting us to ask them but, we always leave the door open if there's room. 

Keeping my expectations low or realistic (expecting no money when I make the invitation) keeps stress to a minimum. If you expect someone to reimburse you it should be stated up front and not an expectation that is never said out loud.


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## JanT (May 7, 2010)

I'm with DougP on this one.  However, with that being said, it would be nice if our guests (or yours) paid for a few lunches or dinners but we never expect it.  If they do, great - if they don't well, that's ok, too.

I think your friends will bristle at this point if you ask them for money to offset the cost of the maintenance fee, etc.  They've gone two times previously and didn't have to pay.  I'd say invite some new friends and if you want a little compensation be honest with them up front about it.  



dougp26364 said:


> When we take guests with us it's with the understanding that A) They'll pay their own way there and pay their own expenses and B) We don't expect any reimbursement for the accomadations or the rental car.
> 
> We'll rent a car whether or not someone is with us so that's no big deal to me. As for the accomadations we're the ones who asked someone to travel with us so we're the ones who provide the accomadations. We only ask friends or family to travel with us when we've aquired a 2 bedroom or larger unit. If our needs are for a single bedroom unit then that's what we reserve. Generally speaking, we make our travel plans first, then invite guests when we have enough space to allow it. We try not to get anyone into the habit of expecting us to ask them but, we always leave the door open if there's room.
> 
> Keeping my expectations low or realistic (expecting no money when I make the invitation) keeps stress to a minimum. If you expect someone to reimburse you it should be stated up front and not an expectation that is never said out loud.


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## Passepartout (May 7, 2010)

You've probably spoiled the waters with the couple you have invited before. If you don't want to lose their friendship by asking for money, best to either invite other friends or even easier, just book a 1 bedroom and if asked just say there isn't room. 

If there's good communication, you could say something like, "We'd love to have you along, but we just can't afford to cover 100% of the cost." And see how it goes.

We have some family, some of whom are very generous about sharing, but some (quite well off) who have no-showed when we've booked nice, large, ocean-front accommodations. Guess who gets invited next time.

Jim Ricks


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## Talent312 (May 7, 2010)

dougp26364 said:


> Keeping my expectations low or realistic (expecting no money when I make the invitation) keeps stress to a minimum. If you expect someone to reimburse you it should be stated up front and not an expectation that is never said out loud.



Agreed. After two trips, the guests may feel they're entitled to go on the hosts dime.
The only "friendly" way is to let them know that you need a contribution or they ain't goinig.
But break it to 'em easy, like an apology as if its your fault...
(1) "Joe, this is a little embaressing, but... Would you be interested in 'helping out'?" OR,
(2) "We've got some stuff going on that'll make it impractical.


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## Mel (May 7, 2010)

Elan said:


> My experience in these types of situations is since you've included them a couple of times already and they haven't stepped up to offer to help financially, they never will, and will be less than receptive if you start asking for compensation.  I say either you find their company worthwhile enough to blow off the inequity, or just move on to include someone else that's more appreciative of your generosity.
> 
> I agree that non-TS owners typically think that once the TS is purchased, then it's effectively free to use.  A lot of them don't understand that there are annual MF's, exchange fees, etc..


If you expect compensation, it should be settled before everyone agrees to share accomodations.  We have only taken family with us, but DH's parents have used escapes through our account a number of times and taken friends with them.  They travel often with these friends, and they agree to share all expenses evenly.  

When we have used our own weeks for the extended family, we have provided the accomodations, and someone else has provided food for the week.  But this is always agrred upon ahead of time.

Perhaps your guests assume that your timeshare is no different than using a beach house or other second home, because you own it.  If you are exchanging a week rather than points, you cost is no higher with a larger unit.  If your costs are higher, you need to let your guest know.  They are working on the assumption that your costs are sunk costs - they stay the same whether you invite them, go alone, or don't use the week at all.

Even if you come to some sort of agreement regarding sharing of expenses, remember that you are "choosing" the accomodation, which put you largely in control.  If they are sharing the costs, they should have some control as well - but that could come back to bite you, if you find you don't like this activities that interest them, or the restaurants they choose for dinner each night.  

As for taking the same couple again, it there is a way of tactfully letting them know that the first vacation was a "gift" but any further travel will be with shared expenses, go ahead.   Otherwise, I would stick with someone new (but if you choose a couple that is close frineds with the ones who already went, don't be surprised if they too expect to have a free ride).


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## Conan (May 7, 2010)

I think if you invite somebody, they're your guest.   Also, if it's a trip you'd take with or without their company I don't think their occupying the second bedroom costs you 50% in that sense.

A couple we invited to Scotland paid for the rental car as a counterbalance to our providing the lodging. Everything else we split equally.  Fair enough, I say.


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## Elan (May 7, 2010)

Mel said:


> If you expect compensation, it should be settled before everyone agrees to share accomodations.




  If I expected monetary compensation, I would definitely express that up front.  On the other hand, sometimes it's nice to have guests acknowledge that you're treating them, by offering to pay for the rental car, or pick up dinner(s) at the time.  I wouldn't ask for that up front, or ever, for that matter.  IMO, that's just a matter of the guests being socially astute enough to realize that you're incurring expenses on their behalf and them offering to do likewise.   

  Personally, I am not one to get upset over matters like this.  I try to put my best foot forward, and if I feel like someone's conciously taking advantage of my generosity I move on.  These types won't be included on future vacations, but they'll still be friends otherwise.  Life's too short to burn friendships over a few dollars, IMO.


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## geekette (May 7, 2010)

I can't afford for invitees to be "guests" that don't contribute, and certainly, the best way to avoid this kind of uncomfortable situation is to spell everything out at invite time.


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## ScoopKona (May 7, 2010)

Conan said:


> I think if you invite somebody, they're your guest.   Also, if it's a trip you'd take with or without their company I don't think their occupying the second bedroom costs you 50% in that sense.




Agreed. I haven't shared timeshare with friends often, mainly because our idea of a vacation is, well, different. We spend a lot of time at markets and in the kitchen. 

However, the few times it made sense, our guests covered some incidental expense -- rental car, etc. And that was made clear at the time of the invitation. "We'll pick up the check for accommodations. You'll need to [fill-in-some-expense-here]."

I think it would be poor form to ask for compensation when the vacation is already underway, or finished. The time to discuss financial arrangements is before the trip is even booked.

The guests have little to no say in the time, place or resort. I don't see why they should be expected to pay 50% or even one third.


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## falmouth3 (May 7, 2010)

I invited my brother and his girlfriend to spend a day or so with us on our last vacation.  We had a 1 BR TS for a week and an overnight in a Residence Inn type of place.  They decided they wanted to spend more time with us.  I enjoyed their company but it was more crowded than we'd planned.  They paid for dinner one night, then we paid for the next, etc.  I thought it was nice of them to offer.

I agree that it's difficult to ask your guests to help with the expenses, especially since you've had them on your dime in the past, but I think it's also possible to ask nicely if they would be willing to help out with the cost of the unit - after all people's financial and other situations do change with time.  Some guests think that it's "free" anyway since you are obligated to pay for your maintenance fee anyway.

Good luck.

Sue


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## Keitht (May 7, 2010)

When we first took friends with us we paid all the accommodation costs i.e. m/f, exchange fees and electricity.  At the time t/s was a novelty to us and as the space was available it seemed sensible to use it.  Over time I started to feel that the friend who travelled with us most often was taking the ..... somewhat as they never even offered to pay for any of the extras.  For example, we might be away from the t/s for a couple of nights and although we booked 2 rooms we would split the cost 3 ways - in other words we were subsidising their accommodation.
In recent years I have simply told them what the accommodation costs are, that is to say 1/3rd of the exchange fee and car hire.  If we travel away from the t/s I just ask for the cost of their room.  They haven't complained and continue to come with us so presumably thing they are being treated fairly.
I have to say that as we get older we are less inclined to take other people with us.  We want time together to be 'Us time' and free to do what we want when we want.  Selfish - yup, and unapologetically so.


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## pjrose (May 7, 2010)

Try this:

_"Y'know, sometimes people think timesharing is essentially free after the initial purchase, but it actually costs us about $1,000 a week for the two bedroom's maintenance every year!  If we only get a 1 bedroom we can go twice, with a smaller unit each time, but if we decide to get a 2 bedroom we're giving up that chance.  We'd like you to go with us, but could you share in the costs?  It's a lot less than staying in a plain old hotel!  "_


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## LLW (May 7, 2010)

We have also invited friends to come to timeshare vacations out of town with us. They pay their own airfare, and have a second rental car if/when needed. We don't ask for anything back. But the experience were different. And whether we will invite them back for future trips will be different.

If we book an extra unit for them, I talk about their costs up front. 

If we book a large unit, then invite friends as an afterthought, I don't talk about the costs.  But some friends were really appreciative, and wanted to treat us to a nice dinner on the trip. Sometimes we accepted, sometimes we declined. They would buy a small gift for us. These friends will be invited back in the future.

On some other trips, some friends never made any gesture. Not even offered to treat us to dinner, or buy a small, token gift. These are friends who own Mercedes and BMWs, while we own Saturns and Buicks.

We are thankful for their company, and might include them in other plans in the future. But they won't be invited back for timeshare trips for a long time. And we have learned an important thing about how we can depend on them in the future.


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## NWL (May 7, 2010)

What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay?  We have not done this yet, but may in the future.  When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom.  So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.  

1/2 the MFs?  Some other dollar amount?  Ideas greatly appreciated!

Cheers!


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## Luanne (May 7, 2010)

NWL said:


> What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay?  We have not done this yet, but may in the future.  When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom.  So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.
> 
> 1/2 the MFs?  Some other dollar amount?  Ideas greatly appreciated!
> 
> Cheers!



I would only charge friends, or family, if we incurred any additional expense in getting the timeshare unit.  And in that case I would charge them 1/2 to all of the extra cost.

However, if this was a one-time thing, I might not charge them anything, but I would expect them to pay their own transportation, car rental, food, and hopefully host us to at least one meal out.


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## rlblack (May 7, 2010)

We have great friends- that have timeshares (plural) and we have one - we normally "trade off"-  one time we go to theirs, next time we go to ours. The couple that is staying in the "others" timeshare- usually buys the groceries for the unit- and we either pay our own out to dinner costs,trade off, or the couple that are the "guests", pick up the dinner at least once.  We didn't have a great big discussion on it, we felt that when we did not own one- we should contribute- and it has become a habit. 

We have other friends that we have invited- have insisted on paying thier part of the maintenance fee- so I just figured out a cheap daily rate- and they also paid for the groceries.  These friends have gone to timeshare presentations, and decided not to buy. And we just enjoy having  with them vacation with us.

One other time, had a friend join us- but we got a separate studio unit for her, since that made us all more comfortable (she smokes)- and she went to the desk, asked what the rental daily rate was-  and sent us a check later for that amount.  She too had in the past gone to timeshare presentations, and knew that there was a cost.

On the reverse- Have nieces, nephews, grown children- that have joined us, we enjoy and we pay for everything-  and happy to do it, to have them with us.

Guess, you just have to pick folks that know the value of the timeshare, or send them off to a presentation-  so they have a clue on the investment you have in the vacation.  

Or you could, when inviting another couple,  tell them when you join others that you normally pay for the groceries- put money up for part of the maintenance fee- or something like that- so they know up front.

hope this helps-


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## BevL (May 7, 2010)

NWL said:


> What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay?  We have not done this yet, but may in the future.  When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom.  So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.
> 
> 1/2 the MFs?  Some other dollar amount?  Ideas greatly appreciated!
> 
> Cheers!



We charge a little less than half the maintenance fees.  We pay a bit more than half plus the exchange fee plus insurance if I get it.  We have first choice of the master bedroom since it's our timeshare (and we've paid more) but since we usually travel with the same two couples - one at a time - we switch that part around so that nobody always ends up in the second bedroom.  We charge when we include them in on the planning - "We're going to Hawaii in 18 months, do you want to come?  Okay, which island and when can you get time off."  THen I put in for exchanges once we've sorted out the details

We've also taken the same couples on trips where we've paid the whole bill.  That's kind of a 'we're going anyway and we happen to have a two bedroom, so you're welcome to come.'  They pay their own airfare or we split car expenses, and groceries.

And we've taken family with no charge to them.

In the first scenario, it's always clear that cost will be X dollars for one week or two weeks.  We split the car if we get one or have on occasion each gotten our own.  Split the groceries.  

But whatever we're doing, it's always clear long before we leave.


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## NEGreyhound (May 7, 2010)

*What do you do?*

My way of dealing with in-laws who stay with us quite often when we vacation in Feb. or March was to ask the question up front. This year would you be able and willing to pay 1/3rd of the cost of the MF. They were staying with us for 3 weeks Again. He said yes and checked with us what the dollar amount was per week that he would be expected to pay. During the 3 weeks he never paid 1 cent in the costs except groceries! 
I thought asking the question up front and the explanation of the total cost was quite clear. Now I don't want to invite them to stay with us again this year but they are in-laws aren't they.


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## pjrose (May 7, 2010)

*If the second bedroom is a lock-off...*

I've done this:

_"I'm kind of torn here...The annual maintenance fee for my timeshare is about $1,000.  I could help make some of that up by renting the second bedroom to someone for around $700 for the week.  I'd really rather have you guys come, but it's hard to give up that income.  Would you be willing to help me offset that, for, let's say, $500?  If that doesn't work for you this year, then I guess I'll have to try to rent it, and maybe you could come and split the costs with us next year."_


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## BevL (May 7, 2010)

NEGreyhound said:


> My way of dealing with in-laws who stay with us quite often when we vacation in Feb. or March was to ask the question up front. This year would you be able and willing to pay 1/3rd of the cost of the MF. They were staying with us for 3 weeks Again. He said yes and checked with us what the dollar amount was per week that he would be expected to pay. During the 3 weeks he never paid 1 cent in the costs except groceries!
> I thought asking the question up front and the explanation of the total cost was quite clear. Now I don't want to invite them to stay with us again this year but they are in-laws aren't they.



So they agreed they would pay, then didn't?  You can choose your friends, you know - LOL.

Your option is to let them know that you will need the money by such-and-such a date (say a month before you go).  You may still end up going by yourself if they don't pay but then it's not going to be an issue.  That would be how I'd handle it, personally.


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## Kal (May 7, 2010)

I'm also a firm believer in the "3-day rule".  After 3 days in close proximity even the best of friends become like 3-day old fish.  Knowing this will occur, I insist that the other couple get their own car and to please venture out on their own for side trips and dinner now and then.  We very frequently go places in one of the cars (trading off).  What's nice is we're not tied to them and they are not tied to us.  It works like a charm and the 3-day fish rule is by-passed.  This becomes very important for 2-week stays.


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## DaveNV (May 7, 2010)

Admittedly, I'm much newer at this than some of you, but here's what we've done:

When we were guests at my brother's timeshare, before I had ever purchased my own, I offered to pay for the rental car.  Over the course of the week we traded off who paid for meals, or we split the bill.  We were two couples, and it worked out nicely.  We've since traveled together, and this sharing thing works well for us.

When I invited a friend to accompany us to stay in one of our timeshares, we gave her the smaller bedroom, drove her in the rental car we already had, charged her nothing for the experience.  She paid her own airfare, and paid for many of her own meals (woman loves to drink!), so it wasn't a financial burden for us.  We didn't feel taken advantage of, since we invited her to come along with us.  (The experience wasn't so great because of her personal habits and lack of interest in what we'd all previously planned to do, so we haven't invited her to come along since.  But that's a topic for another thread.)

With other friends we've invited along, the invitation was expressed as "Hey, we've got this timeshare trip we're planning, and we'd love to have you come along.  All you'd have to pay for your share is..."  And the deal has been struck.  Only a few have agreed, and most have said, "Sounds great, but I don't know if we can afford that right now."  So we've asked others to go instead.  There are no hard feelings or misunderstandings, and everyone knows what to expect.  Many of our friends don't take formal vacations, so the lack of money may be a legitimate thing for them.

And if we end up going alone, well, that okay, too.  We were going anyway.  

Dave


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## hvacrsteve (May 7, 2010)

I usually ask how much our part would be, if I don't get a clear answer, I don't accept.

On the other end, I offer it, not expecting any money, if they offer something I will accept it, depending on whom it is.
If they don't offer enough, I never invite them again.

That is pretty simple, family I never ask for money nor will I accept money.

If I don't want them along I don't even tell anyone where or when we are going.

There are many free loaders around, some can't actually afford this life style and I am aware of that so I am careful whom I ever ask to go with us.

I usually tell them I would have to get a bigger room and that is x cost!

If they want to go, then that is what it is!


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## DonM (May 7, 2010)

R2Bbrock said:


> ...but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom  Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc.
> 
> However, ...I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there.




I'm a bit confused, are these your friends or acquaintance's? You state  friends in the title, but then you act like they're not friends- expecting them to pay you something because you traded your entire 2 bedroom at another location (plus paying the maintenance fee and transfer fee!!)

Don't you value the pleasure of their company? 

If you can't afford to ask them to join you without having them pay some part, then you should either not invite them, or discuss the financial terms ahead of time.

Doing neither and complaining about it later makes you look petty.


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## vacationhopeful (May 7, 2010)

NEGreyhound,
My sister asked how much, told her their share was $430 for the week, and never saw the $$$ either - except they also ate my food and drink, complained that their 2 double beds were uncomfortable at the 1st resort, that their private 2 bdr unit faced another building vs my ocean view at the 2nd resort, texted me last minute to cancelled the planned day trip to take another trip as a couple, told me the food tab I owed on dining out, and brought just a single draft beer as a thank you.

I moved to 3rd resort for 2 nights while they stayed the last of the 7 nights in the 1st resort.  They told me the 3rd resort was really nice and would be the resort they would only want when they come back.  I decided I better help them pack at 9:30AM as the rooms were on my credit card - I dragged the last of their luggage out to their car at 10:15. BIL does not like to move on anyone's schedule other than his. I enjoyed my last day alone very much.

I have only one word for them in the future: REDWEEK!


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## tiel (May 7, 2010)

We have invited friends and family to join us on a number of timeshare vacations, and it never occurred to us to ask for help with the costs, with the exception that everyone pays their own travel costs.  When we invited them, we were glad for their company.  Sometimes we were treated to dinner or groceries, and were very appreciative.  But we did not expect our guests to compensate us in any way.  We have limited means, but we only invited folks when we could afford to treat them.  Guess we are fortunate to be able to do that!


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## post-it (May 7, 2010)

I would find it hard to ask for any cost for M/F since I would need to pay this regardless.  I might feel differently if we had traded through II in order to get a larger place to accommodate them or travel to a particlular destination both couples want to travel to. Then I could see letting them know there is additional cost for this destination.


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## pedro47 (May 7, 2010)

This is a very hard thread to read, but I have enjoyed reading the many comments.  

We have invited one family member to over thirty (30) t/s vacations in the past 20 years and we have not received one single penny toward m/f. 

Do I like it "NO."   But it is GOOD FAMILY TIME TOGETHER.


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## m61376 (May 7, 2010)

If I invite a friend to my owned timeshare then I am inviting them as I would to my home, and I would neither expect or accept renumeration. If I purchase a Getaway for us to use with another couple then splitting the cost seems fair. 

Under protest I've allowed a friend to treat us to dinner one night, but was adamant that they did not treat the other nights. Groceries can be split. If you are both sharing a rental car for the week then I guess splitting that cost would be fair, but if friends only come for part of the week and you'd be renting anyway, it would bother me to let them chip in.

I look at it as that I can't charge for anything that isn't costing me extra because we have company. Hopefully your guests enhance your own vacation.

Family gets an all expense paid trip; I think a lot of us buy hoping that we will take family vacations with the kids and grandkids in the future, and when they come it's our pleasure to treat.


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## Tacoma (May 7, 2010)

We have wonderful friends who on their very first timeshare vacation offered to pay half of the costs associated.  I added up the costs (maintenance and exchange fee) and they were only to happy to pay.  Since then we have bought a timeshare with them to use EEY with them and we wrote down what would be fair if one couple couldn't go or if we ever don't want to travel together anymore.  We discussed it and if need be that will be how we share the timeshare.  Since then they have bought a timeshare and invite us so now we just trade off paying for vacations they had their timehare new year's and we went for a few days and they are coming with us to Orlando and I told them it was our treat. The best thing is we keep discussing it.

THe first time I invited my sister and her husband they covered the van rental for all of us but this summer I don't want her to cover anything as she is bringing my Mom down to S Carolina to visit relatives and I am providing the vacation on HH for her and my Mom since she had to give up vacation time and money to travel with our mother.  Again we're lucky that everyone is comfortable discussing financial arrangements before we travel.

Remember though, I think it is difficult to find people you like to travel with
so I would tread lightly if you're trying to change the onditions they are used to.

Joan


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## NEGreyhound (May 7, 2010)

*Different relatives, different approaches*

Most of our relatives retired 10 years before us and on several occasions we stayed with them during the school break in March at various places in Florida. We offered to pay for everyone's groceries while we were there and would take them out to supper at least once.  
Now that we've bought into the timeshare vacation part of our life our adult children visit us yearly. We own mainly 1 bedroom units and 4 or 5 in that limited space with our daughter, son and daughter-in-law is never a problem. We love them to come and enjoy spending the time with them.  
When our other relatives who offered us a place to stay in years gone by have been able to travel with us I have moved up to 2 bedroom units and never asked nor expected any compensation, although it has been offered. Most times we've been treated to a meal at a nice restaurant as a thank you. Quite unexpected but greatly appreciated. We enjoy the company.:whoopie: 
When it comes to other inlaws, 3 weeks together for the last 3 years, in 1 bedroom units is way beyond the 3 day rule for me.
I love my inlaws, not as much as my children of course, but next Feb and March I really hope there is only the 2 of us in the T/S. I need to work on that conversation!


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## Kel (May 7, 2010)

We’ve had close friends go with us on vacation and we only expect them to pay for their airfare and expenses when we get there.  We allow our friends to treat us to one dinner while we are on vacation (because they insist).   The rest of the time we split the check, take turns with the check.  Just like we do at home.  We just enjoy their company.  And, they always send a nice thank you card when we get home.


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## dioxide45 (May 7, 2010)

We look at it much like a vacation home. If we had a vacation home and invited family or friends, we would not expect to be compensated for the costs of the home. We wouldn't charge rent or expect them to pay part of the mortgage, electric or other bills for the time they were there.

We have invited my parents, my in-laws, and friends. We have never asked or expected any reimbursement for accommodation. They pay for their own transportation costs, dining out costs, and attraction admission costs. Sometimes we split the cost of a car rental, sometimes we don't. Everything that is expected is laid out ahead of time. Sure our friends and family get some great trips. We also take many great ones on our own too. To us, the thought of getting reimbursement for the MF has never crossed out mind.


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## geekette (May 7, 2010)

NWL said:


> What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay?  We have not done this yet, but may in the future.  When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom.  So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.
> 
> 1/2 the MFs?  Some other dollar amount?  Ideas greatly appreciated!
> 
> Cheers!



to me, it's my 'fair cost'.  this varies.  I never figure in my membership fees/annual dues, just maint.

I own in a points system and sometimes rent things out, and often use saved points myself.  I waive off offers to pay for saved points.  

If I've had a good rental year, I go by my min rent rate, divide it by number of people, or number of bedrooms.    

If I haven't made my costs back that year or don't expect to, I look at my "max ask rate", round or pound that down to a number I would feel comfortable asking as per person/per night rent.  If I haven't made my nut, I'm not making it up off my friends and family, but I need their contribution.  

If I used points to bank to exchange, I use mid-range points cost as above + exchange, divide by number of people.


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## geekette (May 7, 2010)

NEGreyhound said:


> My way of dealing with in-laws who stay with us quite often when we vacation in Feb. or March was to ask the question up front. This year would you be able and willing to pay 1/3rd of the cost of the MF. They were staying with us for 3 weeks Again. He said yes and checked with us what the dollar amount was per week that he would be expected to pay. During the 3 weeks he never paid 1 cent in the costs except groceries!
> I thought asking the question up front and the explanation of the total cost was quite clear. Now I don't want to invite them to stay with us again this year but they are in-laws aren't they.



why invite them?  really, if you don't want them there or you don't like how that went down, don't invite them.  

I invite family I want with me, I don't invite people I don't want to be there.  three weeks would be a very long time.  I would absolutely need to be compensated for that!!!


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## jlr10 (May 8, 2010)

Over the years I have stayed in timeshares with some of my girlfriends, due to the generosity of DH who gave up his time.  I never asked for compensation because the cost to me was the same if they did or did not go, with the exception of one trip.  Usually I got a night out to dinner by who ever I took.  On the one trip, where I also booked a getaway week as I was taking 7 girlfriends to the desert, I told the up front the week was my gift to them for their gift to me-their friendship.  I was treated like a queen that week, and the end they informed me they were paying for me to go to Las Vegas with my sister to see Barry Manilow. So I made out big time on that one!

I just returned from Kauai where I spent a week with my friend of 37 years as we went on the 'Fabulous 50 tour.' Upfront I told her I was providing the week but expected her to pay 50% of all other costs.  She agreed that it was a good deal.  I had a great week, we did not need to discuss money, as it was all agreed upfront.  At the end we compared credit card receipts and agreed to the 50% split.  But she had such a great time she treated me to dinner the last night we were there.  Since we went to the Beach House it more than covered my exchange fee.  But even if it hadn't I still would not have felt slighted.  I am blessed to be able to travel with a friend, and even more blessed to have  friends who want to travel with me.

But I have had people who have asked me how they could take advantage of my timeshare use.  I usually find I cannot accomodate these people at any price.


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## teepeeca (May 8, 2010)

*jlr10*

Quote---But I have had people who have asked me how they could take advantage of my timeshare use. I usually find I cannot accomodate these people at any price.----

I think those people are NOT wanting to take advantage or your timeshare---BUT---are wanting to take advantage of you !!!

Just "my" thoughts.

Tony


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## mpizza (May 8, 2010)

I love to travel and am fortunate to get six weeks vacation, so I have many variations on this theme. 

We treat to our yearly extended family 4th of July week at our home resort.  We're up to four units, priceless to me as it is so wonderful to spend quality and quantity time with all the people I love - children, grandchildren, Mom, sister, nieces and nephews.   This year I'm hiring a photographer to take a group picture - Mom is 88 and my youngest grandchild will be 5 months. 

On other trips we have good friends that we invite from time to time.  If their budget allows, they treat us to dinner or a show.  If money is tight, we barbecue and have blender drinks in the unit.  We still enjoy each other's company.  I would never not invite someone I love because they don't have money to reimburse me.   

I also travel with a group of girlfriends and when we travel together we split everything - the maintenance/exchange fee, liquor, groceries, car rental.  We're all independent and no hard feelings if one wants to sleep-in and relax at the pool and the other one wants be up at 6 am to go on an excursion.   I treasure these trips as my DH doesn't enjoy traveling as much as I do. 

Maria


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## dioxide45 (May 8, 2010)

---Deleted---


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## sun&fun (May 8, 2010)

We have good friends who have been our guests in Aruba and St. Kitts.  As others have noted, we invited them as guests, and do not expect them to cover the TS costs.  However, they wanted to do something more than pay for a few meals.  Knowing I'm on the board of a charitable organization, they've made annual donations to the charity each of the years we traveled together.  That's a win-win-win for everyone.  We enjoy their company, the charity benefits and they get a deductible donation!


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## Timeshare Von (May 8, 2010)

Over my nearly 30 years of timeshare ownership, two marriages and lots of timeshare vacations with family and/or friends, I have never expected any sort of payment towards the timeshare accommodations, even if using our 3BR lockoff.

In the initial conversations about such group vacations, I guess most of our guests have said "great, we'll pick up the rental car" or something like that . . . which is great.  But if not, the cost of the car would be something we'd have whether or not we'd have others along for the trip.

The only expectations of "splitting costs" that I would expect would be groceries and dining out, plus everyone paying for their own activities, admittance fees, etc.

With that being said, my 77 yr old MIL has been traveling more with us and when we take her, it is generally 100% our expense because on her very fixed income, she simply cannot afford those costs out.  For us, it is often viewed like a holiday (Christmas) present or just the cost of getting together a couple of times a year when otherwise we might not due to the out of state distance between our homes.

I have friends who love to travel with me whether by timeshare or otherwise . . . and they know I shop the best prices and am able to obtain some wonderful deals on activities so they are more than generous with the sharing of appropriate expenses.  My friend Cathy has gone to Hawaii once with me and Alaska twice.  While we discuss general costs up front, once we are traveling, she is very aware of the added costs and jumps right into the sharing mode.

The most important thing is that you have the conversations up front and set the expectations.  Once you have allowed someone to assume you're footing the full costs, it may be tough to reel that in without damaging the relationships.  If you must, however, my advice would be to accept full responsbility up front for failing to communicate your expectations so that you do not come across accusatory towards the others.


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## beejaybeeohio (May 8, 2010)

Kel said:


> We’ve had close friends go with us on vacation and we only expect them to pay for their airfare and expenses when we get there.  We allow our friends to treat us to one dinner while we are on vacation (because they insist).   The rest of the time we split the check, take turns with the check.  Just like we do at home.  We just enjoy their company.  And, they always send a nice thank you card when we get home.



This works for us, too.  We trade for places we want to travel to, and for 2 & 3 bedroom units.  We then ask friends or family if they would like to join us.  I figure we are going regardless of who may join us.  And we find it fun to travel with others.

The first time we asked 2 couples to join us in a 3 bedroom at the Osbourne in Torquay England, we asked them to split our m/f + exchange fee.  But then I felt guilty taking the master bedroom w/ ensuite.  So since that time, it's our treat. The next time they joined us, they asked how much they owed, and I told them nothing but if you like you could treat us to dinner one night and that's how it's worked ever since.

We split all other expenses, including rental car.


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## mo1950 (May 8, 2010)

When we invite family, we do not ask for payment.   It's usually just DH and I in a 2 BR with pull-out sleeper, so sleeps 6.  We figure we have the room anyway and enjoy their company.

Always feel bad when MIL insists on paying for one meal out, because she is elderly and on limited income.  But she does insist and says it gives her a lot of enjoyment to do that.  So we let her pay one time and pretend it doesn't bother us (we make sure it is not an expensive meal).

Another family member is a different story.  After a few visits, they started suggesting going to expensive restaurants (when we had planned to eat at the condo), outings, etc. and then would magically disappear when it came time to pay the tab for everyone, including them and their large family.  I actually saw this person hiding out in the crowd one time, watching my husband pay, and then they returned to our group after everything was paid (and this was after THEY had suggested going there).  We should have known better.  We have watched this person con the entire family out of money for decades.  So one on us.  They will not be invited again.

We are at the point now that we invite other family members for one or two days at a time.  It works out better because it gives DH and I alone time.  And we get to see family some too.  We do not ask for payment, but we do feel more appreciated when guests do something special (even a very small token).  But if they don't, our feelings are not hurt; no big deal.


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## lvhmbh (May 8, 2010)

It has gone both ways for us - when we had a 2 br we asked a couple to join us and told them upfront that we expected them to pay their way.  Not the car and not the unit just dining out.  Well, they never did - disappear when the check came, oh yes!  Another couple we invited complained constantly about the resort, the palapas, etc.  We, of course, have never invited them again.  Now we have a 3 br and have had couples as guests.  We own a car so no cost there and they have been really good with paying their way for food, treating us or splitting the costs and they will be welcome again.  I protested that the single friend of DH was paying half our bills at dinner (not the wine cuz he doesn't drink so we got a separate check for that) and he said "but I never pay at the grocery store and eat b-fast, lunch and sometimes dinner when you bbq on your dime" - he is sooo welcome back.


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## dioxide45 (May 8, 2010)

I don't understand how people get stiffed with the dinner check. When we sit down and before the server takes the order, we tell our server how to split the check. Therefore we get a check for just what we ordered and our guests get a check for what they ordered.

That disappearing s**t would not work for me.

When we go with the in-laws, my FIL has eyes much bigger than his stomach and usually orders the largest steak, add a soup, salad, upgrade a side to onion rings, or add a sampler of ribs. Their portion of the check is always much higher than our more modest spending. He just doesn't get that when you add all that extra stuff, you end up paying a lot more. I don't think he even looks at the prices, just the menu items. It always takes him forever to figure out what he wants, and usually ends up with an $8 burger (if not a steak place) that turns in to a $20 meal with the add-ons. MIL always figures out their exact portion and pays us back (including tax and tip) if we ended up paying for the meal on our points card (to get the points).


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## Tia (May 8, 2010)

We went to a very nice dinner with other 2 couples we'd met at our ts and had met years before there too. Our mistake was to not ask for seperate checks... as the one couple ordered top shelf drink*s* before and after, appetizers, dessert and the most expensive meals. BUT when the check came it was short after everyone put their $ in... and that couple who ordered so expensively let the 3rd couple make up the difference . 

We have asked others for 1/2 our maint. fee  upfront when others have shared our ts vacation ... giving them their own private room and br. Those who have gone loved our vacation location and fun.


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## NWL (May 8, 2010)

geekette said:


> to me, it's my 'fair cost'.  this varies.  I never figure in my membership fees/annual dues, just maint.
> 
> I own in a points system and sometimes rent things out, and often use saved points myself.  I waive off offers to pay for saved points.
> 
> ...



Thanks for the tips!  After reading through all of the posts, it appears most people who invite friends/family to share their unit will have the full unit no matter what.  That's not our case.  If we were to invite another couple, it would mean we would not lock-off and therefore loose the income from renting the unit.  I wish we could be more generous, but it's not possible at this time.     We need to sell more vodka for that to happen.   

Cheers!


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## Keitht (May 8, 2010)

A variation on the original post, but how would you go about stopping what had effectively become 'expected' by the friend. i.e. automatically assuming they would be coming on any timeshare exchange we arranged??

They have never come with us to our own resort - in the UK - but after they had joined us a couple of times abroad now assume they will be coming with us!  We don't want to lose the friendship but we do want our independence back.  All suggestions appreciated.


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## dioxide45 (May 8, 2010)

Keitht said:


> A variation on the original post, but how would you go about stopping what had effectively become 'expected' by the friend. i.e. automatically assuming they would be coming on any timeshare exchange we arranged??
> 
> They have never come with us to our own resort - in the UK - but after they had joined us a couple of times abroad now assume they will be coming with us!  We don't want to lose the friendship but we do want our independence back.  All suggestions appreciated.



Just don't invite them along. If you say you are going on a vacation using your timeshare, they shouldn't expect to be invited along. They should only accept if an invite is extended. If they do always expect to be invited, then I don't know what to say.


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## LLW (May 8, 2010)

Keitht said:


> A variation on the original post, but how would you go about stopping what had effectively become 'expected' by the friend. i.e. automatically assuming they would be coming on any timeshare exchange we arranged??
> 
> They have never come with us to our own resort - in the UK - but after they had joined us a couple of times abroad now assume they will be coming with us!  We don't want to lose the friendship but we do want our independence back.  All suggestions appreciated.




Talk about the trip making it obvious that they are not being invited. If they then talk about it like they are, you make it even more obvious. If they then insist on being invited, tell them frankly that you want to be by yourselves, on this trip and other future trips. If you burst their "assumption" bubble, tell them plainly and nicely that you want your independence, would they still insist on coming?


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## scrapngen (May 8, 2010)

Keitht said:


> A variation on the original post, but how would you go about stopping what had effectively become 'expected' by the friend. i.e. automatically assuming they would be coming on any timeshare exchange we arranged??
> 
> They have never come with us to our own resort - in the UK - but after they had joined us a couple of times abroad now assume they will be coming with us!  We don't want to lose the friendship but we do want our independence back.  All suggestions appreciated.



I would try the soft approach of talking about the upcoming trip as being such a wonderful "second honeymoon" or together time for you and your spouse. Then if they talk about joining you or making their transportation plans, you can re-emphasize and refer back to the fact that this is a special trip for the two of you. You could then suggest that the other couple also enjoy a special trip - just the two of them to somewhere they wish to visit - like you are planning. At this point, they should understand that they are not welcome this time. Then, when you return, you could talk about how much you enjoyed your time alone and like being able to go off by yourselves, and then come back to good friends and get togethers at home...:whoopie:


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## mo1950 (May 9, 2010)

I too would take the soft approach; sounds like you don't want to lose their friendship.  Perhaps they are talking about the vacation as if they are going along too without you having said anything?  That would be a hard one.

I think I would say something along these lines, "Oh (insert name), we enjoyed having you with us so much last year; we had such a good time.  But I think this year we are going to go by ourselves.  We need some time with just the two of us."  Friends should understand that and not be hurt.

But, then, next year, you may run into the same problem.  And I would say basically the same thing as above, that you really need time together with just the two of you.  And you might at the same time talk about some local activities with this other couple to reassure them that you do, indeed, want to spend time with them (if that is the case).


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## lvhmbh (May 9, 2010)

Yes, I agree - tell them your life has been so hectic you and your DW really need time to connect, just yourselves.  If your friend gets pushy, tell him DW says she needs some romantic alone time.  Do tell your DW you will say that though so she isn't blindsided


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## Passepartout (May 9, 2010)

*Good Grief!*

This thread is getting stranger and stranger. People are advocating making up stories to tell past 'friends' and family whom they have hosted that they won't do it again. OK, if they are 'friends', and family, level with them. Simply say you are no longer able to wholly support their vacation habit. It was good while it lasted, but those times have passed. True friends will understand. Family members, whom you have to remember, you don't get to choose, may not understand, but they will still be family. You have to live with yourself first.

Jim Ricks


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## Phill12 (May 9, 2010)

Years ago we owned a three bedroom in PV Mexico and would be asked by friends if they could go with us. They understood it was cheaper for them and they could have fun there with us. Great thought! 

 We felt bad about asking for money so they would agree to pay for half the food and in most cases take us out one night for dinner. After having other friends tell me I was being to easy on these free loaders I started to charge them the price of my wife's air fair which was still cheap. 

 The last year we took someone my boss [FRIEND} asked if they could join us next year and I said yes and explained the charge. Air fair was only like $230 round trip and my boss gives me a check for $500. I gave it back telling him I only wanted the money for one person. 

 Problem happened when my best friend decided after talking to his wife that they wanted to go also so this was really going to be a fun trip.:hysterical: 

 Next thing I know he is mad because as friends he shouldn't have to pay anything. I explained that we had condo payment and maintenence fee's to pay each year. Also that since we went through RCI back then they saved us a lot of money on air fair. It didn't matter and he refused to go. 
 Some other friend asked and had no problem with paying small fee and sharing expenses.
 My friend's wife was all over him for getting mad and not paying us anything and thought  deal was great.

 Sometimes timeshare ownership and friends just don't mix unless you give them free trip.  This guy was my best friend and best man at our wedding and this ended our friendship!  

 PHILL12


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## Tia (May 9, 2010)

It's interesting how some people feel entitled while others wouldn't dream of taking advantage.


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## vacationhopeful (May 9, 2010)

Tia, well spoken.


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## mo1950 (May 9, 2010)

Keith said he and his wife wanted independence from others on the trip.  So I did not think telling other people they wanted to spend time only with each other as a made up story.  I thought it was the truth.

My DH and I have been in that position too.   It's very difficuilt when good friends invite themselves along, and it's not what you want.  Hope it works out well for you.


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## l2trade (May 9, 2010)

I find it awkward to ask family & friends for reimbursement.  I recognize that my family spends a disproportionate and excessive percent of our annual budget on vacations comparatively speaking.  My wife and I cut back in many other areas to be able to afford to continue to do so.  While I consider our vacation costs to be an extremely great deal, most folks we know would not take 7 nights, plan trips so far in advance and stay in this size of accommodation otherwise.  I've never asked for anything more than my cost, but still it is not fun asking for their check.  One time, I got tired of dropping hints about my cost, so I just figured he assumed it was a gift and dismissed it.  When his wife discovered a month after their fabulous vacation that he never paid me be back the amount we had agreed on, she got SO MAD at him!  She called us embarrassed and upset that we didn't let her know how he had stiffed us.  We got a check with a small gift the very next day along his apology letter.  Anyways, I'm always prepared to just give a friend their money back with no hard feelings if they cancel or complain.  Even worse, I don't like it when I get family member a great deal and they act like they're doing me the favor by paying me back.  No good deed goes unpunished.  I'd rather just give them the week, then deal with all the drama.

To avoid future expectations, we try to only extend invitations on existing reservations as the travel dates approach.  It is much easier for us to book two units on an upcoming trip and figure out who we will invite to join us later.  I find people are much more excited and appreciative to the gesture when you ask them last minute, rather than many months in advance.


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## Passepartout (May 9, 2010)

You folks all sound like such nice, generous people. Invite me and DW, and if we accept your offer, we'll share kitchen duties and spring for a couple of meals during the week. Contingent on fitting in with all the offers we get of course. Thanks in advance.    

Jim Ricks


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## easyrider (May 9, 2010)

We make our guests pay to stay. They are provided their own one bed unit for cost. Sharing rooms sometimes creates an unrelaxed atmosphere.  

We do take our kids and grandkids to places and try to have everyone in their own unit. We pay for this.

I would have to charge you double Mr. Ricks. Nice try though. lol


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## sun&fun (May 9, 2010)

*Take friends is an invitation?*

The discussion seems to involve 3 different situations: 1) inviting friends/family  as your guests; 2) inviting friends/family to join you in your TS 3) friends/family asking or expecting to be invited.   My expectation or response is different in each case:  1) guests do not pay to occupy the unit;  2) friends contribute a fair portion of costs;  3) depends


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## Kagehitokiri2 (May 9, 2010)

id say dont pay for their food/activities.. 

a bunch of the destination club members here (and on a previous forum) use this method - let people know when theyre going, and whoever shows up shows up (obviously limited to number of BRs, and with destination clubs its an average of say 4BR)

im kind of hoping to find someone to travel with for 2 upcoming trips (ridiculously expensive, but might be rare opportunities) and also planning to talk to a specific person i know about a 3rd trip next summer. in that case they have access to something im interested in, so im going to see if i can offer something of interest to them.


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## Mel (May 9, 2010)

DonM said:


> I'm a bit confused, are these your friends or acquaintance's? You state  friends in the title, but then you act like they're not friends- expecting them to pay you something because you traded your entire 2 bedroom at another location (plus paying the maintenance fee and transfer fee!!)
> 
> Don't you value the pleasure of their company?
> 
> ...


While I wouldn't complain about past experiences, I would hope for some sort of reciprocation.  

I value the pleasure of the company of friends, but I would hope they value my company enough to take me out to dinner one of the nights of our vacation, or to offer to pay for the groceries.  Friendship is usually a two-way street.  Obviously if you are friends with someone who can't afford to reciprocate, you take them on vacation as your guests.  But if they can afford to reciprocate, and simply choose not to, it does bring into the question the value of the friendship.  

I would discuss the financial terms of future vacations ahead of time.  If they don't want to pay a fair share going forward, that will be their choice.  If they are offended by you asking them to pay, perhaps they are not the friends you thought they were.


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## scrapngen (May 9, 2010)

Passepartout said:


> This thread is getting stranger and stranger. People are advocating making up stories to tell past 'friends' and family whom they have hosted that they won't do it again. OK, if they are 'friends', and family, level with them. Simply say you are no longer able to wholly support their vacation habit. It was good while it lasted, but those times have passed. True friends will understand. Family members, whom you have to remember, you don't get to choose, may not understand, but they will still be family. You have to live with yourself first.
> 
> Jim Ricks



I don't consider it a made up story to say that you wish to spend alone time with your spouse !?! maybe stating it as a second honeymoon might stretch it, but maybe they might like to think of an overseas, expensive vacation in this way. And the poster I was directing my answer to was saying they wanted to travel without the friends anymore. I advocated a soft approach that was true but gentle and emphasized the fact that they didn't want their friends to assume they could come every year, as opposed to your more direct advice to address the cost factor head on. (which didn't seem to be their main problem.) Also, I believe  that saying - you no longer wish to support someone's vacation habit and that it was good while it lasted, but those times have passed - would be offensive to even "true friends." Maybe it is just the words you use here in the thread...I agree that true friends should understand that they can't always travel for free.


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## Talent312 (May 9, 2010)

1. For guests who are truly "guests" (whether friends or relatives), its on your dime.
You're the host. If they don't pay for anything, don't get your nose-out-of-joint. 

2. For friends or relatives who you invite along on a joint adventure, no mooching.
They share in the expenses, after fair warning.

_You need to  be clear if its #1 or #2. Its confusing the two that causes hard feelings._

3. To those with expectations, I say, "I'm sorry, but we're not inviting anyone this year,"
far enuff in advance for them to make other arrangements.

4. For bosses and their friends, may God help you.


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## ace2000 (May 9, 2010)

scrapngen said:


> I don't consider it a made up story to say that you wish to spend alone time with your spouse !?!


 
Agreed, we all can use 'more' quality time with our spouse...   

Good thread all!  I've enjoyed reading this one.


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## Talent312 (May 9, 2010)

ace2000 said:


> Agreed, we all can use 'more' quality time with our spouse...



I, for one, could use some time off. :ignore:


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## Luanne (May 9, 2010)

Talent312 said:


> I, for one, could use some time off. :ignore:



I'm guessing that maybe your spouse might feel the same way.


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## NWL (May 9, 2010)

Talent312 said:


> I, for one, could use some time off. :ignore:



Me, too.   



Luanne said:


> I'm guessing that maybe your spouse might feel the same way.



You're probably right.   

Cheers!


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## MuranoJo (May 10, 2010)

My friends always offer to chip in before I even ask.  They've been around us long enough to understand the background costs.  I don't make a big deal of it and they get their own bedroom & bath in a great location el cheapo.

On the other hand, try arranging a family reunion for 6 families using 5 timeshare units, and they just don't have a clue about this thing called timesharing. (Nor the time and work it took to pull this off.)  Although they just raved about the great units and setup, they weren't so excited to pay what amounted to less than one or two nights in a cheap hotel next to a freeway (I only charged them my exchange fee) for a full week at a condo with pool, tennis court, etc.


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## teepeeca (May 10, 2010)

*muranojo*

Sometimes "family members" don't have a clue.  BUT, more likely, they are "CHEAP", and just want to "sponge" off of others.  "YOU" are the "rich" members of the family, and have access to "all of the great vacations/locations/resorts"---so YOU should be "thankful" that you can invite them---with them paying nothing !!!

I'm glad that "my" relatives are smarter than some others !!! (LOL !!!)

Tony


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## Mel (May 10, 2010)

teepeeca said:


> Sometimes "family members" don't have a clue.  BUT, more likely, they are "CHEAP", and just want to "sponge" off of others.  "YOU" are the "rich" members of the family, and have access to "all of the great vacations/locations/resorts"---so YOU should be "thankful" that you can invite them---with them paying nothing !!!


It's even more fun when you come to the realization that those "poor" family members have a (sometimes significantly) higher income that your "rich" family.  The same applies to those friends who go with you on vacation, and are able to afford the more expensive restaurant because you are providing the accomodations.  With true friends, they realize this, and take you with them to that nice restaurant - each sharing their own "wealth."

Many of these friends and family won't vacation if they don't go with us.  Don't feel bad about it - they have their own priorities.  If they ask about another vacation, show them the various rental websites, maybe even offer to book an escape for them - but they pay for it including any guest certificate fees.  If they complain about the cost, they can choose to not vacation, or to stay in a hotel, and miss out on the benefits of being in a condo - their choice, their priorities.  Or maybe they will choose to stay home and watch movies on their 52" television, which they bought with the money they saved by not going in vacation.


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## Tia (May 10, 2010)

Some people are just   , so for a whole week they pay only your exchange fee probably less then $200.  Guess you could  continue to let educational  info. slip out here and there re all your  time/ work/expense they are all benefitting from :ignore:    




muranojo said:


> ....On the other hand, try arranging a family reunion for 6 families using 5 timeshare units, and they just don't have a clue about this thing called timesharing. (Nor the time and work it took to pull this off.)  Although they just raved about the great units and setup, they weren't so excited to pay what amounted to less than one or two nights in a cheap hotel next to a freeway (I only charged them my exchange fee) for a full week at a condo with pool, tennis court, etc.


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## Twinkstarr (May 10, 2010)

Mel said:


> Or maybe they will choose to stay home and watch movies on their 52" television, which they bought with the money they saved by not going in vacation.



OMG, that's my sister! :hysterical: 

 She bugged me about going on a cruise, so we go waste some poor TA's time, I get all excited and when it came to putting down the deposit, she decided to save her money for a new tv.


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## l2trade (May 10, 2010)

Mel said:


> If they ask about another vacation, show them the various rental websites.



Great advice!  Show them how to get great deals without you.  Why convince them to get a condo from you when they are perfectly happy in a cheap hotel room from Priceline?

One time, we stayed at the same resort with an overly competitive relative, pure coincidence.  She bragged about the great one-time rental deal she got and the fact that she doesn't even NEED to own a $30k+ timeshare or work herself a deal through me.  I smiled, quietly knowing that I got all 7 nights ocean front view for what she paid for only 4 in a dark corner of the resort.  No need for me to even get into discussions about resale prices, TUG and trading tips with her.  All she knows is what she heard during the sales pitch.  I try hard not to be competitive with relatives like this.  I just nodded my head to assure her that, yes, she must be right that she got the better deal.  My wife said she kept eyeing our view, but I didn't notice.  LOL!


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## hvacrsteve (May 10, 2010)

We usually only will take others with us for short, 3 day or less trips, never a week!
We would be sick of them no matter whom they were by then, unless there were separate places completely!


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## pgnewarkboy (May 10, 2010)

Conan said:


> I think if you invite somebody, they're your guest.   Also, if it's a trip you'd take with or without their company I don't think their occupying the second bedroom costs you 50% in that sense.
> 
> A couple we invited to Scotland paid for the rental car as a counterbalance to our providing the lodging. Everything else we split equally.  Fair enough, I say.



Precisely our modus operandi when dealing with people who are our friends.  Inasmuch as we share the rental car, however, I expect to at least split the cost with them.  I don't think I have to explain  that  in advance.  They are friends and know we are not playing "Daddy Warbucks".  If they pay entirely for the rental car that is great. I don't ask for it.  Some friends offer to pay all of  the rental car and some don't.  Some friends will split the rental car and treat us to dinner.  I am happy with all of the above scenarios. 

 I am glad to have the company of our friends on certain trips.  That is why we ask them to come.  We don't ask them to come so they will share our maintenance fee expense.


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