# Driving to Big Bear - Fear of Heights



## Marcia3641

I have a dilemma; I have a fear of heights and am not sure how I am going to do this drive to Big Bear. I get very scared/tense anytime I have to go over a freeway overpass or a bridge (i.e., San Pedro) so I avoid them at all cost. Is there another way to get to Big Bear without having to do a lot of driving on the cliffs/winedy roads? I have an appt with my doctor in 2 weeks because I'm hoping I can explain what happens to me and she can prescribe me something that won't make me drowsy for this drive. I'M SCARED!  When I booked it another adult was going to do the driving but she cannot make it.

marcia3641

P.S. Is there anything I shouldn't miss doing while in Big Bear (going with 2 15 year olds for a week)? I am going to visit Lake Arrowhead while there (anyone know how far away it is)?

Thanks again


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## swift

Panic attacks can be very real. Your doctor can prescribe something for you however, you probably should not drive while taking it. Only you can know weather or not it is better for you on the windy roads to be in the drivers seat and in control (like some people get car sick if they are not driving) or if it is better if you are the passenger maybe relaxing with the help of something from your doctor. Even if the medication he gives you does not make you drowsy it will most likely impair your judgment or reaction time while driving. The most common medication they give out for panic attacks is Ativan http://anxiety.emedtv.com/ativan/ativan-warnings-and-precautions.html


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## Liz Wolf-Spada

I think there are two ways into Big Bear, the one we took along 138 or from Lucerne Valley, was indeed pretty scary, but there might be a better route from San Bernardino. I'll ask around.
Liz


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## rapmarks

good luck to you.  I am the same way.  WE are leavin on a trip tomorrow int he mountains.  My sister gets carsick and I get so scared, so my husband will be doing all the driving.


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## T_R_Oglodyte

Liz Wolf-Spada said:


> I think there are two ways into Big Bear, the one we took along 138 or from Lucerne Valley, was indeed pretty scary, but there might be a better route from San Bernardino. I'll ask around.
> Liz



There are three routes into Big Bear.  

Highway 38 climbs Mt. San Bernardino from the Mentone area near Redlands.  That route crosses Onyx Summit, which at 8400 feet is the highest highway mountain pass in California outside the Sierra Nevada.
Highway 18 comes from Running Springs a bit east of the Lake Arrowhead area.  Running Springs is over 5000 feet elevation, and to reach Running Springs you would take a mountain road from San Bernardino - either Highway 18 or Highway 330 up the south face of the San Bernardino Mountains. Or you can reach Running Springs with a desert approach via Cajon Pass and climbing into the San Benardino Mountains via Hwy 138 or Hwy 173.
The desert approach from Lucerne Valley along Hwy 18.
All of the options involve significant mountain driving.  The approach from Running Springs traverses the face of a cliff.  Last time I was on Hwy 173 was more than 30 years ago, and it was a dirt road that did a lot of winding.  My wife was overdue with our first child and we drove that road in a Jeep trying to see if we could shake something loose.  

The "least scary" approach might be the road from Mentone, over Onyx Summit


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## ricoba

I think there are a couple of routes to Big Bear from here.  But I have only been on the one going through Highland on the 330.  That is a steep and twisty road.  If you have trouble with the Vincent Thomas Bridge, I agree that the mountain roads will be very stressful for you.

I see from a map you can go through Apple Valley on the 18 and on the 247 to 18 from Yucca Valley.

My assumption though is that it is all going to be steep in places and with lots of curves since it's mountain driving.

As Theresa/swift points out there is medication that can help, but you shouldn't drive if you are taking something like Ativan.  I have previously taken Ativan, it makes you too relaxed to drive safely. Perhaps there are other meds that can be taken that don't cause drowsiness.  So maybe speak with your Dr.

I hope this works out for you.  I am sure it is stressful to think about.  Good luck.


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## Liz Wolf-Spada

I just checked with my Terminix rep who drives that area and he said that 38 from San Bernardino had the least windy and least cliff areas of all routes into Big Bear, although it is longer than some.
Liz


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## T_R_Oglodyte

Liz Wolf-Spada said:


> I just checked with my Terminix rep who drives that area and he said that 38 from San Bernardino had the least windy and least cliff areas of all routes into Big Bear, although it is longer than some.
> Liz



Yeah - that's the road from Mentone over Onyx Summit that I recalled having the fewest cliffs.


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## Marcia3641

Thank you guys so much for your feedback. I don't leave for another 3 weeks and I am SO NERVOUS! Thinking about this drive is making me sick. 

I really hope I can beg someone to come with me and that my doctor can give me something to help me.

marcia3641


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## mepiccolo

I'm not sure if this will help you but I had a friend who used to get severe anxiety/panic attacks while driving on the freeways in California.  She started listening to books on tape and it took her mind off of the driving which soothed her nerves since she was engrossed in what she was listening to instead of feeding the anxiety by focusing on it.  There are a lot of really good ones out there and hopefully, if this works for you, you don't have to medicate and worry about the side effects of the medication.


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## Stressy

Oh Marcia!

I feel for you. My hands are sweaty just reading this. I am leaving for Big Bear tomorrow. We will use the Lucerne Valley route up the backside as I call it-because we already live in the desert. 

Honestly, it's not that bad. I have driven it myself-with a car full of boys headed to a soccer game. I just make them be quiet when I need it. There are a few hair pin like turns that are easy to nagivate by going slow and are down low and then the longer "cliff" type driving doesn't bother me going up because I am hugging the mountain. 

I also have general panic when crossing the freeway overpasses. Those are the worst for me and if I can do this-you can do this. I have never used the route Steve mentions but since you are already freeway driving...it does make since to just continue on and use it. (Highway 38)

I don't reccommend 330-the front side as I call it. We used to take buses up there as school children for various events and I was scared then...plus being the main route down the hill to San Bernardino-the mountain folks have little patience for us flatlanders..adding to the anxiety.

You will do just fine and it is beautiful up there...concentrate on the reward, pull over if you need to and let others pass so you don't feel rushed. It might take longer-but you will feel better once you arrive.

Gosh, I hope this helps....I just re-read it and I don't want to add to your existing anxiety-just know that I have all the same fears and I can do it...I know you can too-I'm rooting for you


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## Fletcher921

I am EXTREMELY fearful of heights as well.  I have finally become comfortable with the road going up through Running Springs (which is just a beautiful area).  I make sure to have nice calm music and I spend much of the time looking toward my driver in as deep a conversation as I can muster.  The road is nice and wide - just go slow when you need to and let the impatient drivers pass frequently.  The other routes take a lot more time.


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## cr4909

I concur that the back route, 38 from Redlands, is a much easier drive than the 330/18 through Running Springs.  It's a bit longer distance wise, but it has great views and is not too windy.  In January I drove to Big Bear in the rain and fog at night on the 330/18.  My daughter got car sick twice and it was not a fun experience.  Even when you think the worst is over after ascending the mountain, you descend into the valley on a very windy and curvey road.  On the way back we took the 38 and it was much better.


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## applegirl

I agree that you should take the Hwy 38 route as it is the least windy and has a pretty wide road. You should be able to often occupy a lane which is not right next to the cliff.  This should help alleviate some anxiety. Go as slow as you are comfortable and don't worry if it annoys other people, they can just go arouond you.  You're safety and peace of mind is most important.

Also, I would highly recommend some relaxing music to play while making the drive and also let the two 15 old boys know about your anxiety so they can help support you.  Don't risk taking something that will make you drowsy. That's just dangerous.  Consult with an atlas too before going and make sure you are real comfortable with exactly how to get there.

If after all this, you are still not confident you can pull it off, cancel your trip. No vacation is worth risking your safety or that of others.

Janna


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## taffy19

Stressy said:


> Oh Marcia!
> 
> I feel for you. My hands are sweaty just reading this. I am leaving for Big Bear tomorrow. We will use the Lucerne Valley route up the backside as I call it-because we already live in the desert.
> 
> Honestly, it's not that bad. I have driven it myself-with a car full of boys headed to a soccer game. I just make them be quiet when I need it. There are a few hair pin like turns that are easy to nagivate by going slow and are down low and then the longer "cliff" type driving doesn't bother me going up because I am hugging the mountain.
> 
> I also have general panic when crossing the freeway overpasses. Those are the worst for me and if I can do this-you can do this. I have never used the route Steve mentions but since you are already freeway driving...it does make since to just continue on and use it. (Highway 38)
> 
> I don't reccommend 330-the front side as I call it. We used to take buses up there as school children for various events and I was scared then...plus being the main route down the hill to San Bernardino-the mountain folks have little patience for us flatlanders..adding to the anxiety.
> 
> You will do just fine and it is beautiful up there...concentrate on the reward, *pull over if you need to and let others pass so you don't feel rushed*. It might take longer-but you will feel better once you arrive.
> 
> Gosh, I hope this helps....I just re-read it and I don't want to add to your existing anxiety-just know that I have all the same fears and I can do it...I know you can too-I'm rooting for you


Great idea and I agree that this road isn't bad at all as we also had to deal with a family member who had fear of heights but this route didn't scare her.  

I can understand this fear because I have it for small spaces but an elevator is OK so it must not be that bad but don't tie me up what they did in a dentist office once many years ago when they gave me an analgesia to pull some wisdom teeth.  I asked them to untie me immediately or I wasn't going to stay as I was panic stricken.  I don't believe they do this anymore today and have better methods.

I like the idea of listening to books on tape or some relaxing music or just concentrating on the nice scenery.  It would be nice if the OP found someone to go with her as you can talk and the drive is over before you know.


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## altlamp

Learn to breathe properly.  Get a book on tape to occupy your mind with something other than the fear....and see a good therapist to help you relax and understand the fear is irrational.  Goo dluck


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## dukebigtom

Focusing on a book on tape while driving may take your mind off the fear.  It might also take your mind off driving.  Not a good idea in my mind.  Some people fall asleep listenting to books on tape.  Beware of anything that takes your mind off driving and/or relaxes you to the point of affecting your reactions and ability to concentrate on the job at hand.

Good luck.  I have inner ear problems, so I've basically ruled out all these places at extreme elevations.  I miss some of my days in the mountains but have traded them in for beaches and city visits.


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## Marcia3641

*I made it!!!*

I wanted to thank everyone for their suggestions. I took hwy 38. Talk about "keeping your eye on the prize". I kept my left eyeball on the road/car in front of me and my right eyeball on the mountains to the side of me. There were a couple of moments when my eyeball found itself trying to look the other way and it quickly redirected itself because the view WAS A LONG WAY DOWN . Thank goodness that it wasn't like that the entire trip otherwise I would not have made it. I pulled over several times to let cars go by. This seemed like the longest trip EVER!!!!!!! Now I can relax until it's time to drive back down . I took me about 3 hours to get here but I stopped for a break. My palms were so sweaty and I drove almost the entire way with two hands on the wheel (who drives with two hands on the wheel in CA anymore:rofl: )....

marcia3641


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## ricoba

Congrats & Enjoy....

You can be proud of your accomplishment...The trip down should seem like a breeze now that you are an "expert"!!!


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## T_R_Oglodyte

Marcia - I just noticed your comment in your original post about visiting Lake Arrowhead while you are there.  Unfortunately the Rim of the World Drive between Big Bear and the Lake Arrowhead turnoff is just about the "cliffiest" drive you could take in the entire area; about the only way to make it worse would be to continue on the Rim highway all the way to Arrowhead Springs at the base of the mountains above San Bernardino.

There's a reason it's called Rim of the World Drive.


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## Stressy

YAY Marcia!!

Steve is correct...DO NOT take Rim of the World highway...be content with your accomplishment and enjoy your time. 

I can't even be a passenger on the Rim highway without being really, really uncomfotable. Whenever my son's HS sports teams play Rim HS and it's at Rim HS..I stay home.


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## swift

Yeah Marcia I am soooo happy for you!!!​


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## Marcia3641

Stressy said:


> YAY Marcia!!
> 
> Steve is correct...DO NOT take Rim of the World highway...be content with your accomplishment and enjoy your time.
> 
> I can't even be a passenger on the Rim highway without being really, really uncomfotable. Whenever my son's HS sports teams play Rim HS and it's at Rim HS..I stay home.




Advice taken....I will pass on Lake Arrowhead, can't handle anything more than what I just went through. 

Marcia


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## taffy19

Congratulations and good for you.  Now, enjoy your stay and don't even think about driving down yet.  I think it will be a lot easier for you as it was for our passenger too.  She was hysterical on her way up to the Sierras as she didn't know what to expect and we had snow but much calmer on her way down and the same for the long way around to Big Bear.

Did you get someone to go with you or did you drive all alone?  If so, you did well.


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## Marcia3641

iconnections said:


> Congratulations and good for you.  Now, enjoy your stay and don't even think about driving down yet.  I think it will be a lot easier for you as it was for our passenger too.  She was hysterical on her way up to the Sierras as she didn't know what to expect and we had snow but much calmer on her way down and the same for the long way around to Big Bear.
> 
> Did you get someone to go with you or did you drive all alone?  If so, you did well.



I was all by my lonesome! I had my daughter and her friend wasn't able to come which was better because I didn't want to teenage girls being chatterboxes while I was trying to concentrate.


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## alanraycole

*Too bad I just read this, I would have volunteered to go with you and drive!*

Of course, I'm talking tongue in cheek because I don't know you. 

Regarding fears, I force myself to face anything I am tempted to fear. So far, though, I have failed in overcoming my biggest fear, if you can call it that. I hate seafood for no rational reason. Most people love it, and I want to at least try it simply because everyone else raves about it. I have never successfully tried it. The exception being fish... I eat that all the time. But, I cannot force lobster, clams, oysters, crab, etc. past my lips. One time I gave it a thorough attempt. I went to a seafood buffet with a bunch of friends and they insisted that I eat a sampling of seafood. Although I put it in my mouth and chewed, I gagged uncontrollably when trying to swallow it. They gave up after two attempts for obvious reasons and so did I. If this seems bizarre, try image eating roaches (assume they taste delicious and everyone else ate them and raved about them). Could you force yourself to eat them?

What attracted me in this thread is that I have considered going to Big Bear several times, but have never made it. After reading this thread, I am even more interested. I love mountains and Big Bear sounds like it is way up in them! I have to travel to Vegas twice a year for conventions and I have exhausted all the obvious side trips. Big Bear is now a future definite!


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