# I have committed a horrible crime / Women Wanted!



## alanraycole (Jan 2, 2009)

I am staying in unit 209 at the Shearwater all by myself! This place is huge... it is a crime to be here alone! Also, for those not familiar with the Shearwater, unit 209 sits right on the edge of the cliff on the top floor with vaulted ceilings. It is angled for a supreme view down the coast towards the lighthouse as well as a view down the coast in the other direction. The side window looks out over the pool. I think this unit might just be the best of the lot. I'll take pics sometime later this week. 

I arrived on Kauai tonight. After getting my rental car and driving though Kapaa, daylight dwindled. Because I ran out of daylight so soon after arrival, I figured tonight was as good as any to buy groceries, then I checked in... that's when I realized what a waste this place is to be all just for me. Then I decided it was time to eat. I first checked to see if either of the restaurants at the Hanalei Bay Resort were reopened yet... that would have been my first choice for old times sake. But the guard I talked to said he has heard nothing about when they might reopen. I'll go back later this week to speak to the manager and find out the official word. Then I drove down to Hanalei to pick a place to eat. Kalypso was the pick. It used to be called something else, but I can't remember what. It is the place on the corner in the same block as the Ching Young Village. It was alright, but I probably won't go back... because it was just alright. 

Now, why, you may ask, am I all alone on this trip where I'll be at the Shearwater for a week, then the Lawaii for a week, then at the Westin for a week... all in two bedroom condos... all by myself. Because of the half dozen or so people/couples that I have been traveling with for the past few years, none of them have kept a steady job... sometimes through no fault of their own. I was going to be here with two couples this trip, but one person from each couple lost a job in the last few months. Ironically, there are probably a dozen friends who have begged me to take them with me, but they wanted me to buy their plane tickets!

Why am I reporting this here? Because after arriving here at the Shearwater in this huge and gorgeous location, I have decided it is ridiculous that I am here alone and I am taking my battle against being alone to the next level! I have long ago and continue to subscribe to two dating sites that have gotten me nowhere! You may ask, "what about meeting women the old fashined way?" I'll admit to being a workaholic. Granted most of the people I consider friends are employees. All of the people who have begged me to take them with me are employees or former employees. I work at the store seven days a week. Then I come home and work on the store website till I go to bed. Then I get up and do it all again. As some of you may have noticed, I take a few breaks from working on the website to comment now and then on TUG. I also take breaks to play with my three dogs between their napping. I also go on a lot of vacations... sort of. The only way I can justify taking so many vacations is to bring my work along with me. Some of you may have noticed that I consider ocean view rooms very important. That is because I like to sit on the lanai for a couple hours, working during the daylight and like to see and hear the ocean waves while working. After the sun goes down, I am either sleeping or working on the website still more, again hopefully listening to ocean waves like I am right now. 

While on vacation, other than a couple of hours of daylight enjoying my lanai view while working, I like to make up for all the worked evenings and weekends of the past year and play hard. OK, maybe I am exagerating... usually I like to go to the beach or hike. During a seven day period I also like to do from 2 to 7 paid adventure activities. 

Now, to the point. Aren't there out there some women who would like to drop everything and come on out to Kauai? Women who can pay there own way... since we aren't dating, obviously. Now, I am not talking about coming out here to join me as a couple. I am too conservative for that and, hopefully, the women who would like to come out here are too conservative for that, too. This place and the other places I'll be staying this vacation are plenty big for a group of single women to join me as friends. I say group because I doubt a lone women would have the nerve to join a stranger on the spur of the moment. If you are interested, tell me about yourself and ask any questions you may have. If we both think we are close to compatible, gather some gal pals and come on over. We will have a blast together and see where it takes us.

OK, alternate option... all you women, tell me what I am doing wrong... other than the obvious. Give it to me straight. I can take it... seriously!

I'll post some pics later... just so you can see that I am not a hunk, but not a dog either... at least I don't think I am a dog. But, I am 47.


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## TerriJ (Jan 2, 2009)

Happily married here in Iowa, but your post made me laugh and I wish you the best of luck!


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## Mimi39 (Jan 2, 2009)

Wish I could get there in time!!!!!!!!!  

However you will probably get a large number of marriage proposal based on this posting, and many e-mails from Nigeria wanting you to invest


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## Zac495 (Jan 2, 2009)

I'm married - but sure have some adorable single friends. Too bad we live on the east coast. I think your post is adorable. You're asking advice? Be willing to send a picture.


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## mpizza (Jan 2, 2009)

Nice offer!  I'm sure you'll find some company hanging around the pool, etc.  Perhaps we could set-up a calendar where TUGGERS could post timeshare trips open to share.  I've paired-up with other lady TUGGERS for European trips as my hubby doesn't enjoy that type of travel.  

Maria


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## alanraycole (Jan 2, 2009)

*Picture taken this morning.*

Someone said I should add a picture. This one was taken this morning off the lanai, with the coast in the background. I'll take some more once there is better sun. 






Someone sent me a private message to take a better pic. For now, below are some older ones. I'll take some more later. For larger versions, visit http://cole.bz/dream/ if you dare to look at the larger versions.











(Picture taken holding the snake deleted at Denise's request.)


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Jan 2, 2009)

Truly a Picture of the Day if ever there was. :rofl:


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## Helaine (Jan 2, 2009)

This is really fabulous!  I think it's a great plan and I hope someone wonderful takes you up on it.


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## DeniseM (Jan 2, 2009)

I would ditch the snake picture - it doesn't scream "I'm just your average normal guy."


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## taffy19 (Jan 2, 2009)

I hope you will find company and keep us informed.    Some TUGgers who are there already may want to join you and stay or visit you during the day. This is such a nice resort from what I have read with magnificent views. 

Enjoy your vacation and don't work too hard! You only live once.


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## Pat H (Jan 2, 2009)

Too bad we didn't know sooner though. There are 4 women from the Ladies on Vacation (LOV) Group heading to Mexico in 2 weeks. I'm sure we would have enjoyed Hawaii.

You're too young for me. You think it's hard finding dates as a 47 yr old male? You should see what it's like as a 61 yr old female!


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## catwgirl (Jan 2, 2009)

Geez Alan, those of us who are single and have steady jobs-- we need a little more notice, ya know.


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## Icarus (Jan 2, 2009)

I can't help you now, but for the longer term, have you considered dating a Filipina? They are amazing people, and the women are great. Just ask Rick (ricoba) if you don't believe me. 

You can email me if you want more info on Filipina dating sites. There's one in particular that's free and I guess you could say it's the TUG of Filipina dating sites. It's run by an American guy and his Filipina wife. It has forums, chat rooms, and it's highly moderated. They don't tolerate any nonsense there. Stay away from the paid sites. They aren't worth it, and there's other reasons to stay away from them also.

-David


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## alanraycole (Jan 2, 2009)

*Great idea! A TUG potluck dinner at my place!*



iconnections said:


> Some TUGgers who are there already may want to join you and stay or visit you during the day. This is such a nice resort from what I have read with magnificent views.



To all Tuggers on Kauai now... let's have dinner at my place this weekend. I don't know what my food contribution will be to a potluck dinner, since my cooking is limited to "heat and serve." But, come on over. Dinner is at 5. Which day? You tell me.

I just got back from a day of walking beaches from Ke'e to Haena and then Annini. I might give details later, but now I have to go... I want to sit in the whirlpool for the last minutes of daylight.


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## alanraycole (Jan 3, 2009)

*I'll try to do better next time.*



catwgirl said:


> Geez Alan, those of us who are single and have steady jobs-- we need a little more notice, ya know.



I don't have Hawaii reservations, yet, for another trip, but I'll let everyone know when I do. 

I've traveled alone before, and haven't thought much of it. It's just that this place is so huge and has one of the best timeshare views I have ever seen... it is a genuine shame that it is all wasted on just me... so I had to take action.


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## Zac495 (Jan 3, 2009)

So tell us about what you've been doing there while waiting for someone to answer your ad! Are you having fun?


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## lprstn (Jan 3, 2009)

Hmm, I'll give you the same advice I give all my single girlfriends...travel with single groups.  There are lots of activities around and sponsored for singles with like interest.  Also, Volunteer at places that women like to volunteer at.  You can also form your own single group of travelers, as one of my friends have, they all travel with each other for times a year, and are encouraged to bring other friends that are not known to the group along.  Its worked out well for them for years, and about 50% of them have gotten into serious relationships with people they met on the group.  Also, working all the time really limits your choices a lot.  Again, find a group, team, or figure out where all the women are...(a lot are in church....that's where my brother met his fiance...he just started going to a nice church in the neighborhood, and was virtually swarmed by single ladies).

Good luck to you, and keep up posted.  Us Married people like to live vicariously through our single friends for excitement...but as we get older, we all get tired.


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## alanraycole (Jan 4, 2009)

*No private messages from any ladies, yet!*



Zac495 said:


> So tell us about what you've been doing there while waiting for someone to answer your ad! Are you having fun?



So far, I have been ejoying the beaches and walking a whoooooole lot. I was going to make a photo diary of one of my more picturesque hikes along the beach and the jungle, but my phone battery expired. I am sure I'll take that walk again during my stay... this time with a fully charged phone battery for picture taking.

There have been no takers on the potluck dinner either. Are there any other Tuggers on Kauai now?


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## vacationhopeful (Jan 4, 2009)

Ahhhh!    

Are you the twin of my ex-bf ?????  You LOOK just like him.

Burned all of his pictures years ago.  He didn't cook either.  And would spend hours on the computer.  And developed a real affection for Filipina women during his 5+ years of scuba diving there (including this past November).

But you have excellent tastes in views for your vacationing adventures - he was too cheap for Hawaii and any room above a 1 star rating.

After him, I was happy to vacation alone in 2 bedroom timeshares with great ocean views in South Florida.


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## Icarus (Jan 4, 2009)

vacationhopeful said:


> And developed a real affection for Filipina women during his 5+ years of scuba diving there (including this past November).



I can't imagine why. lol.

-David


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## vacationhopeful (Jan 4, 2009)

David -

I will take your comment as a positive reflection on the many (or one) fine women you have known from the RP, as I have truly enjoyed and been informed by your many prior postings on these boards.


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## alanraycole (Jan 4, 2009)

*Shearwater at its best!*

For more pics of my Shearwater stay, visit http://cole.bz/dream/index.htm. I will update it from time to time.

View off the porch to the left





View off the porch to the right





View of the greatroom


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## taffy19 (Jan 4, 2009)

What a pity you are still alone in such a beautiful place.  The weather looks a little cloudy but the ocean always looks nice no matter what.

LPRST gave you some wonderful suggestions how to find a travel companion or a girlfriend/soulmate for your next trip.  Are there no TUGgers on the island right now?  This is high season!  Where is everybody?  I would have come to visit you with my DH, if we were there.   

Enjoy the rest of your week and plan it better next time!


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## Patricia (Jan 4, 2009)

*Ohhhh, it sounds like a wonderful vacation !!!!*

Hello:   

It sounds like a great vacation -- and I think there would be several gals
who would be interested !!!  (I am married, and too old...)  

I'm just guessing that many gals would require a bit more advance notice --
most folks need to give several weeks notice to their employers for vacation time.   So, your invitation may not work for this particular vacation, but it
could certainly work in the future.

Now I just wanted to go off-track for a moment, but one of my gal friends
had an unfortunate ending to her marriage (her hubby up and left her for
another woman; leaving her to raise 4 kids -- all teenagers.)
Anyhow, after 3 years of putting her teenagers first, she decided it was
time for herself.  She turned to Internet dating -- the first 5 men she met were real losers, but the 6th man was a keeper.   I think her secret to success was "keep trying -- don't give up"   Most women would have given
up sooner -- but she hung in there.

So, I was thinking for someone such as yourself who works so much, the
Internet would be a great way to meet friends.

Also, I did notice that several gals from your place of work (both present
and former employees) had expressed an interest in travel with you.  I 
would re-consider and give these gals half a chance -- after all, the groundwork has already been covered.  In other words, you already know each other
and communicate with each other, and that's half the battle....

And I do think you have taken the first step -- you've been open and honest!!

And be positive -- there are lots of us Tug members who have sisters, girlfriends, and co-workers who are single.... Right now, one of them could
be reading your post and start to make a connection !!!

Good luck, you seem like a great guy,   

Cheers
Patricia


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## Icarus (Jan 4, 2009)

vacationhopeful said:


> David -
> 
> I will take your comment as a positive reflection ...



It was just my attempt at humor. No offense intended.

I've known many fine women from New Jersey when I lived there in the 80s. And of course, all the women on TUG are great too.

-David


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## alanraycole (Jan 5, 2009)

*Yesterday, I spent the whole afternoon at the beach in Hanalei.*

It was lively with sunbathers, surfers, a volleyball game, and even a football game. I don't know which I like better, an active beach or a private beach. Both suit me at different times. Yesterday, was the first beach active day. Ke'e beach was mildly active the other day, but not so much. Anini the other day was surprisingly quiet as well. I haven't yet decided which beach I'll visit today.

Today, in about an hour, I'm going to hear the latest on Wyndham at Bali Hai Villas. I guess I just like talking about timeshares... and the $100 bucks for dining. So far, I haven't been too happy with the restaurants this trip. I've eaten at the Kalypso, Polynesian Cafe, Hanalei Gourmet, the place at Hanalei Colony Resort, and Tappas. The only two that were a treat based on my most recent visit was the place at Hanalei Colony Resort and Hanalei Gourmet. At the Hanalei Gourmet, I had an ideal Reuben. At the Hanalei Colony Resort, I enjoyed a vegetarian dish. I have eaten at the Polynesian Cafe dozens of times in the past and have always loved their food. This time, however, the chicken was tough and I suspect reheated or maybe even a leftover from a previous day. With my Wyndham bucks, I plan on eating at Seville's (or whatever it is now called) and Postcards. Those two places have always been great... but I'll let you know if that has changed.

Well, gotta jet. Gotta wash up for my date with Wyndham!


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## toocherie (Jan 5, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> (Picture taken holding the snake deleted at Denise's request.)


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## rifleman69 (Jan 5, 2009)

Not worth it to listen to Wyndham's spiel although they were less swarmy than the past few times.   Eat in Kapaa or Lihue, although Hanalei Dolphin is nice.


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## alanraycole (Jan 7, 2009)

*Best Restaurant on Kauai!*

The critics were right! I ate at the second time at the Mediteranian Gourmet at the Hanalei Colony Resort. This time I noticed the sign that read, "Voted Best Restaurant on Kauai, 2008." The food was genuinely delicious. The view is great as well. The ocean waves aren't much farther than right outside the window.

I ate at Hanalei Dolphin yesterday. It was OK... but keep in mind, I am not a seafood fan. Most others consider it one of the best.


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## alanraycole (Jan 8, 2009)

*Ke'e Beach at Sunset*






This to commemorate the last night of my first week. Tomorrow, I go from the Shearwater to the Lawai.


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## Gramma5 (Jan 8, 2009)

*WOW!*

What a beautiful picture. Seems like that could be used in a magazine ad!


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## alanraycole (Jan 9, 2009)

*First Day at the Lawai Beach Resort*

Another Resort, another crime! This place, too, is too nice to be here by myself in a large 2 bedroom unit... the "Executive Suite." 






Below is just beyond the pool looking up to the room.






Yes, it is ocean view!






This monk seal, pictured on Lawai Beach today, is the only gal who has wanted to take me up on my offer to share my vacation with a lovely lady.


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## hibbert6 (Jan 10, 2009)

*Not a Singles Scene*

Brother, I feel your pain!

15 years ago, when I was still single, I went to Maui with my folks.  After dinner each night, I went to clubs and such.  During the day I did activities, went snorkeling, etc.  Saw LOTS of people, but very few single women.  It was depressing (well, as depressing as the islands can be, anyway...).  And Maui is much more "happening" than Kauai.

But now for the "up" side - the restaurant across the street from your new place, called "Roys", is excellent, and expensive.

So, in the meantime, look for the upside.  You're at the ideal place to meditate on all the good stuff you have, and be awed by God's creation.

Gotta go with the upside.... 

Dave


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## eal (Jan 10, 2009)

The restaurant across the street from Lawai Beach Resort is the Beach House, and yes, it is very expensive!


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 10, 2009)

Perhaps you should list your offer on Craigs List


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## DeniseM (Jan 10, 2009)

The Beach House often requires a reservation.


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## alanraycole (Jan 11, 2009)

*Yes, the Beach House is expensive and VERY crowded!*

I ate without a reservation in the bar area amongst a constant throng coming and going and jumping onto empty stools a split second after the last person got up.... just a little toooooo popular!

You would think that a place that connot properly accommodate its literally overwhelming customer numbers would expand its hours to both spread the demand out and reap even more rewards for having great food in a great location. Not expanding hours is like leaving found money on the ground.

Here is the Beach House from my Lanai at the Lawai.


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## alanraycole (Jan 11, 2009)

*I am already subscribed to two dating sites.*



Vacation Dude said:


> Perhaps you should list your offer on Craigs List



I have regular communication with a half dozen women on one of those sites... eHarmony... but, nothing has come from it. It most certainly has a lot to do with the distance away of all my "matches." I have had an open invitation in my profile for all matches to join me on my trips. I have, a couple of times, given personal invitations as well. No takers... reason given... too risky. Ironically, I have no idea how we are ever likely to meet if not on a vacation. Let's face it, if they aren't willing to join me in Hawaii, they aren't likely to join me in the middle of nowhere Ohio. Likewise, I don't really want to risk going to generic locations in TN, WI, TX, etc. to meet them in their home towns. What if we don't hit it off after meeting? After traveling all that way, just turn around and go home? Rather, I would like to meet distant "matched" women in a vacation destination. That way, if we don't hit off, we just enjoy our vacations apart... makes since to me anyway. Just like on here, I have suggested that they bring gal pals, so they won't be meeting a stranger alone. Practically risk free, as I see it. The biggest risk is that they might have to find their own lodging if they find no interest in me... they could even start that way... each having our own lodging, just in case we don't hit it off. The other obvious reason women would have for meeting meeting me in a vacation spot is the myriad of activities available to enjoy together... so we can get to know each other.

To all even slightly interested women... speaking of getting to know each other, I live in Lake Waynoka. I manage my parents furniture store, Cole Furniture, in Mount Orab, Ohio. (They are now retiring at age 70, with 52 years of the happiest marriage I have ever observed, and after 35 years in business.) I am also on Facebook and MySpace... I am not a mystery... at least I try not to be. 

So why post this here? This is the only forum that I visit regulary... which is to say the only forum I visit more than once a year. The reason for posting here and my somewhat frequent activity on TUG is that this site suits me. This site is all about travel and I like travel. Travel is my major hobby/interest/diversion, well, except my three dogs. I like talking to people who like talking about travel. What a better place to find a kindred spirit?


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## rifleman69 (Jan 11, 2009)

Can we move this to off-topic now?   I'll leave the rest of my comments to myself, been laughing pretty hard already.


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## missmarie (Jan 11, 2009)

*Keep up the internet dating*

!st , let me say that when I stayed at Lawai, it never looked that awesome. Good for you. 2nd...I know a lot of people, including myself that have met really neat people on the online  dating services.(marrying my internet date in March) I don't know about services that hook you up with women that may not even speak english, sounds like they are looking for a sugar daddy, until they acclimated to the U.S. , then split!
I think those sites are for those guys that want someone that will be obligated to them, and in turn let them control them. Watch the movie "Cowboy De Amor".

Best of luck


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## DeniseM (Jan 11, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> To all even slightly interested women... speaking of getting to know each other, I live in Lake Waynoka. I manage my parents furniture store, Cole Furniture, in Mount Orab, Ohio. (They are now retiring at age 70, with 52 years of the happiest marriage I have ever observed, and after 35 years in business.) I am also on Facebook and MySpace... I am not a mystery... at least I try not to be.
> 
> So why post this here? This is the only forum that I visit regulary... which is to say the only forum I visit more than once a year. The reason for posting here and my somewhat frequent activity on TUG is that this site suits me. This site is all about travel and I like travel. Travel is my major hobby/interest/diversion, well, except my three dogs. I like talking to people who like talking about travel. What a better place to find a kindred spirit?



Alan I am going to have to refer this to an Admin. for review - it may violate the TUG "no advertising rule."     Have you considered posting an Ad in the TUG Classifieds?   

Good luck with your love life and the rest of your vacation!

(And yes, I am KIDDING!)


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## evanalan (Jan 11, 2009)

Hello Alan,
I've also been reading the communication, and doing some laughing, and I, too, am happily married with two sons (tug id).

How can you possibly be single?
You sound like a great guy.  From my perspective, though, here is my two cents worth...

One of your photos shows blue? tinted glasses.  Tinted glasses are effective in hiding your very important eyes to a prospective mate.  Tinted glasses come across as saying "go away", or "I don't want you to know who I am".

It sounds like you love to eat good (as do I), but that you have very high expectations in the quality.  But what if your soul mate wants to serve KD once in awhile?  Maybe she won't make your high grade.  How to turn that into a positive?  Take a cooking class back in Ohio.  I am sure lots of single women take them.  A man who knows how to cook looks very good to a prospective mate.

We just bought our first timeshare on Kauai, and that's why I am on this site.  Hope to see you paired up soon.
Best of Luck
Arlene


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Jan 11, 2009)

evanalan said:


> One of your photos shows blue? tinted glasses.  Tinted glasses are effective in hiding your very important eyes to a prospective mate.  Tinted glasses come across as saying "go away", or "I don't want you to know who I am".



Arlene: don't forget about the snake. Maybe I've got the wrong impression through the years, but I think most of the women I've met don't see a picture of a guy with a snake and think to themselves, "A snake!!! Just the man I've been waiting for!!!" Or course, I do have to admit that I haven't had much contact with herpitoligistresses in my life. 

Herpitologistress??? Sounds like something you might encounter in an alley near Times Square, or through a Craigslist classified, doesn't it???  Or maybe in the Rolodex of a New York elected official.


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## alanraycole (Jan 12, 2009)

*I don't want to give the wrong impression!*

Since I have given off at least a couple wrong impressions, for better or for worse, here are some clarifications...

I am ultimately looking for the kind of woman who would prefer living in a cozy beach cottage rather than the most extravagant mansion in the most exclusive neighborhood of any given city. I am looking for a simple life submerged in love and nature. I'm also looking for the woman who, if she had millions of dollars, would not be surrounded with diamonds and gold, but with the people she's helped.

I am looking for a woman happy with herself and who is not needy or demanding. She finds happiness in adventure and the man with whom she shares it. She does not need pampering and to be spoiled with gifts of THINGS to feel loved, respected, and appreciated. She knows she is loved, respected, and appreciated when she and the man she loves are both smiling and occasionally burst out into joyous laughter as they admire each other. Of course, she savors his company and knows he loves and enjoys hers by just the look in his eye. I am looking for true love, not a series of love-proving tests.



evanalan said:


> How can you possibly be single? You sound like a great guy.



In the interest of a fuller disclosure, I'll admit to a few faults... I work too much, I am not Mr. Fixit, I am generally unconventional, I don't like seafood, and in my daily life, I live very simply. Although I live in a gated community, the neighborhood has a very wide range of house values ranging from maybe $50K to $500K. I like my daily life nice and simple, so mine is about at the bottom of that range. I moved there for the rec center, the lake, and the big yard. 

About the snake... I was walking in Miami's South Beach from dinner back to my HGVC condo when a guy asked me if I wanted my picture taken with his snake for $20. I had never held a large snake before, so I grabbed the opportunity... with one condition... he had to take two pictures... one with his Polaroid and one with my cell phone, so I would have a digital copy. It happened to be one of the few pictures of myself on my computer, so I used it. That is the beginning, middle, and end of the snake photo story.



evanalan said:


> One of your photos shows blue? tinted glasses.  Tinted glasses are effective in hiding your very important eyes to a prospective mate.  Tinted glasses come across as saying "go away", or "I don't want you to know who I am".



I wear tinted glasses because one of my dogs chewed up my regular glasses. Instead of buying a new pair, I have just been wearing my prescription sunglasses. I'll eventually get around to buying a new pair of regular glasses, I promise. To tell you the truth, it doesn't even cross my mind until someone comments on it, like has just been done.



evanalan said:


> It sounds like you love to eat good (as do I), but that you have very high expectations in the quality.  But what if your soul mate wants to serve KD once in awhile?  Maybe she won't make your high grade.



The groceries in my house are more likely to be canned soup, peanut butter, jam, bread, and ice cream than anything else. The restaurants around work and home are limited to fast food. Usually, I eat at them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Therefore, while on vacation, I enjoy making up for the deficiencies in good food that I face the rest of the year. That can generally be said about all vacation related issues. I love to live large in lodging, food, and fun on vacation. At home, there are very few people who live any simpler than I. My vacations for me are true breaks from reality.
.
.
.
.


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## Icarus (Jan 12, 2009)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> Arlene: don't forget about the snake. Maybe I've got the wrong impression through the years, but I think most of the women I've met don't see a picture of a guy with a snake and think to themselves, "A snake!!! Just the man I've been waiting for!!!" Or course, I do have to admit that I haven't had much contact with herpitoligistresses in my life.



I think it would have to depend on what kind of snake, Steve.

Seriously. Any potential friend or mate wouldn't care about snakes or sunglasses. They would care about if he was serious and what his values are.

But yeah, there's always first impressions.

There's always www.plentyoffish.com as a free site for American women, I guess. Good luck with that, Alan.

-David


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## taffy19 (Jan 12, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> I have regular communication with a half dozen women on one of those sites... eHarmony... but, nothing has come from it. It most certainly has a lot to do with the distance away of all my "matches." I have had an open invitation in my profile for all matches to join me on my trips. I have, a couple of times, given personal invitations as well. No takers... reason given... too risky. Ironically, I have no idea how we are ever likely to meet if not on a vacation. Let's face it, if they aren't willing to join me in Hawaii, they aren't likely to join me in the middle of nowhere Ohio. Likewise, I don't really want to risk going to generic locations in TN, WI, TX, etc. to meet them in their home towns. What if we don't hit it off after meeting? After traveling all that way, just turn around and go home? Rather, I would like to meet distant "matched" women in a vacation destination. That way, if we don't hit off, we just enjoy our vacations apart... makes since to me anyway. Just like on here, I have suggested that they bring gal pals, so they won't be meeting a stranger alone. Practically risk free, as I see it. The biggest risk is that they might have to find their own lodging if they find no interest in me... they could even start that way... each having our own lodging, just in case we don't hit it off. The other obvious reason women would have for meeting meeting me in a vacation spot is the myriad of activities available to enjoy together... so we can get to know each other.
> 
> To all even slightly interested women... speaking of getting to know each other, I live in Lake Waynoka. I manage my parents furniture store, Cole Furniture, in Mount Orab, Ohio. (They are now retiring at age 70, with 52 years of the happiest marriage I have ever observed, and after 35 years in business.) I am also on Facebook and MySpace... I am not a mystery... at least I try not to be.
> 
> So why post this here? This is the only forum that I visit regulary... which is to say the only forum I visit more than once a year. The reason for posting here and my somewhat frequent activity on TUG is that this site suits me. This site is all about travel and I like travel. Travel is my major hobby/interest/diversion, well, except my three dogs. I like talking to people who like talking about travel. What a better place to find a kindred spirit?


Alan, have you thought about walking your dogs in the park or along the lake?    Two of my best friends met their future husbands walking their dogs because they had an interest in common.  One of them had a dog so they walked together with the two dogs and the other friend met a man, who admired her dog, and they also started walking together on the beach.  Besides that, walking is good for you and for the dogs.  

I am surprised to read that eHarmony doesn't get you a good match as I know another lady who got her husband through them but they are expensive.  Her marriage didn't last but my other two friends are still married after almost 50 years!   

How much longer are you staying in Kauai?


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## BSgueglia1 (Jan 12, 2009)

*You sound like a really great guy..*

but I want to point out that women LOVE confidence. Not cockiness, but confidence.  The things you have written don't tell me you are confident.  My heart goes out to you and I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think it will be hard to find a respectable woman when you are begging for a date. Nobody wants to give attention to a desperate man.  

My suggestion to you would be to make a list of all the great things about yourself and believe it. Wake up every morning and say those affirmations in the shower. Sit on your lanai and say those affirmations.  Affirm yourself, build up your confidence in yourself!  You can't convince anyone else about how great you are if you don't believe it yourself.  A confident man takes good care of himself, eats well, stays fit and carries himself with his shoulders back and his head high.  

You must believe that you deserve a good woman before you will find one. A woman needs to believe that she is getting a man she deserves because she works hard to be a good person and not because there are no other takers.  the mere fact that you have been wearing those AWFUL glasses because you havent gotten around to chaging them says you dont value yourself as much as a woman would want you to. Take good care of you. Treat yourself the way you would treat the woman of your dreams and I'll betcha you'll find her. If you don't treat yourself well, I think women subconsciously believe you will neglect them, too.
Course, Im 30 and have been happily married for 10 years. I don't know who I think I am to tell you what you should be doing..LOL!  But, I am a younger woman who has friends who still date and have the same ol needs every other woman does.  I am also successful in my career and believe that being confident is key to success in life.  Take it or leave it, but your post reached out to me and I thought I'd give you my thoughts. I'll be praying that God sends you a companion who deserves you.   Best wishes to you!!


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## cdn_traveler (Jan 12, 2009)

*Good luck Alan!*

Quote "My heart goes out to you and I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think it will be hard to find a respectable woman when you are begging for a date. Nobody wants to give attention to a desperate man."

I don't agree that Alan has come across as a desperate man.  He has been very honest with all of his friends here on TUG and I find his honesty very refreshing.  I believe countless people have been disappointed and shocked when they finally meet up with their online 
friend; only to discover that the person looks nothing like their pictures.  Apparently, there are some people on online dating sites that post fake pictures.  Talk about a bait and switch eh?
Could this be the reason why those possible matches that you have been in contact with have not met up with you Alan?  

My single friends complain to me all the time about how hard it is to meet people and when they do meet someone, that they are not the ONE.  I think its awesome that you have not settled for just anybody.

Wishing you the best of luck Alan!    

How about we move this thread to the TUG LOUNGE?


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## alanraycole (Jan 12, 2009)

*I have found very interesting matches on eHarmony.*



iconnections said:


> Alan, have you thought about walking your dogs in the park or along the lake?
> 
> I am surprised to read that eHarmony doesn't get you a good match.
> 
> How much longer are you staying in Kauai?



I have several women in the "open communication stage," which is the last stage before you move on to offline. However, they are all beyond my immediate area. The closest one is about 60 miles away. The others are hundreds of miles away. We just reached the "final stage" right before my trip. She is one of the ones who declined to join me. I will, of course, drive the 60 miles to meet her and see where it leads. The others are just too far away unless they are willing to meet me on a vacation to see if we hit it off in the real world.

I do walk my dogs, usually several times an evening. One of the three is quite bossy. When she wants something, she will stand about two feet away and bark at me. If I reach out, she will back up... that is how I know she wants me to get up. She won't stop until I do. When I do get up, I follow her to see what she wants. If she leads me the sink, she wants water. If she leads me to either her pan or the frig, she wants something to eat. If she leads me to the middle of the room, she wants to play. If she leads me to the door, she wants to go outside. Neither of the other two dogs even come close to that degree of communication. I guess they leave it up to her to speak for them. Two or three times an evening, she leads me to the door... so I take them for a walk two or three times an evening. Haven't met anyone that way though.

I will be leaving late evening on Jan 23.


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## alanraycole (Jan 12, 2009)

*I HATE to admit that many people who know me personally....*

would say I tend toward the opposite extremes in both confidence and desperation.



BSgueglia1 said:


> The things you have written don't tell me you are confident.  Nobody wants to give attention to a desperate man.



Most, if not all, of my friends and even family would say that I am far too picky when it comes to women... I am afraid to admit that for fear of driving the perfect one away who may read that and as a result not even write me. I would say that every other month someone is trying to fix me up with a woman. I suppose it is a great compliment that more than one of those who have tried to fix me up with a woman in the last few years were attempting to fix me up with their mothers. Virtually all of these women I know enough about to know they aren't for me. Also, on MySpace, women virtually throw themselves at me every now and then. But, none have been my type, yet.

If anything, walking into the condo at the Sheawater all by myself and seeing the view unfold before me was a wake up call that I have probably been too picky for my own good. It was truly a profound moment in my awareness that there might be a genuine problem. When I started this post, I wrote that I had commited a horrible crime. That crime was against myself and the woman who could have been. I got what I deserved for being too demanding... nobody!

To tell the truth, I probably overreacted to my arrival alone in paradise. If someone would have taken me up on my offer, I may have found myself in a very awkward situation. I would have been much more comfortable if a group of women had taken the offer. That way the expectations would not have been obvious. For better or for worse, I have a well defined dream of the woman who will be the love of my life. I was not looking for a vacation fling, but I acted as though I was. It was a reaction to a true shock to the psyche. Undoubtedly, I was also affected by an obviously loving couple in the seats ahead of me on the flight over. The couple was a reminder of the best, yet missing, gift of life, love.

Offer revision... I invite a group of women, with none singled out, to join me for my remaining time on Kauai... there are still 12 days left!



BSgueglia1 said:


> The mere fact that you have been wearing those AWFUL glasses because you havent gotten around to chaging them says you dont value yourself as much as a woman would want you to. Take good care of you. Treat yourself the way you would treat the woman of your dreams and I'll betcha you'll find her. If you don't treat yourself well, I think women subconsciously believe you will neglect them, too.



Alright, already. I don't see the glasses being such a big deal. But, you all aren't the first to question my blue glasses. I'll make an appointment when I get home.


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 12, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> Most, if not all, of my friends and even family would say that I am far too picky when it comes to women... I am afraid to admit that for fear of driving the perfect one away who may read that and as a result not even write me. I would say that every other month someone is trying to fix me up with a woman. Virtually all of these women I know enough about to know they aren't for me. On MySpace, they virtually throw themselves at me every now and then. But, none have been my type, yet.
> 
> If anything, walking into the condo at the Sheawater all by myself and seeing the view unfold before me was a wake up call that I have probably been too picky for my own good. It was truly a profound moment in my awareness that there might be a genuine problem. When I started this post, I wrote that I had commited a horrible crime. That crime was against myself and the woman who could have been. I got what I deserved for being too demanding... nobody!



This is your best post so far....honesty.

My simply suggestions:

- get a nice haircut
- buy some nice clothes
- get into better shape
- get improved accessories (glasses and no snakes)
- improve your attitude
- decrease your pickiness
- be MORE willing to travel ANYWHERE to meet someone interesting
- work less hours
- stop mentioning your parents
- make sure you have visited the dentist for a real cleaning 3-4x per year

Hawaii may be exotic and romantic to you, just like the guys that drive convertible Porsches. But this does not impress most women.


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## rifleman69 (Jan 12, 2009)

I think Vacation Dude hit the nail on the head.   I'd add, GET OUT and meet people!   Several people have mentioned that you should taking a cooking class, walk your dogs at the park/beach.   Turn off the computer and get outside!   You'll find many people in your own community without relying on myspace, eharmony, tugbbs, etc... to help you find a date.

I hope this hasn't been just an eye opener for you.


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 12, 2009)

Few more things

- get some nice professional photographs taken (Glamor Shots) where they use makeup, nice lighting, etc.
- always be clean shaven
- use deoderant and shower 2x per day and don't overdue the cologn
- memorize a few jokes/stories that are funny but won't offend
- State that you are "running" the family business rather than I work at my parents store


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## vacationhopeful (Jan 12, 2009)

Extend your invite to single guys - not couples.  You are too focused on meeting a woman, like you are hunting dinner.  Two or three single guys together will attract the "pack" of single women.  Single women travel in packs and for fun, companionship & safety together.

And relax ... not every woman you talk with can be your "soulmate", but every woman does have a mother, girlfriend, or possibly a sister.  And some of them can be just plain fun to hang out with.

JMHO,


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## alanraycole (Jan 13, 2009)

*I don't come to Hawaii to impress women.*



Vacation Dude said:


> Hawaii may be exotic and romantic to you, just like the guys that drive convertible Porsches. But this does not impress most women.



I have been coming to Hawaii for years and I have never brought a date. I come to Hawaii for myself. When I return home, those who know me say that I am a different person. They say the effect lasts about 3 months. It is a running joke that when I get aggravated over anything, my friends say, "Alan, it is time for another trip to Hawaii!"

That is not to say that I prefer coming by myself. Friends have joined me and every single one who has ever joined me tells me he is coming back with me. One has come back with me to Hawaii twice. One has traveled with me to other destinations several times. One or more probably will most likely travel with me to Hawaii in the future. But, when they don't, it is because they can't afford it, like on this trip.



vacationhopeful said:


> Extend your invite to single guys - not couples.  You are too focused on meeting a woman, like you are hunting dinner.  Two or three single guys together will attract the "pack" of single women.  Single women travel in packs and for fun, companionship & safety together.



OK, not a bad idea... guys are welcome... before coming, contact me to describe any negatives that might cause problems with staying together. No serial killers, terrorists, or room trashers, etc., please. Those successful with meeting women, much appreciated. About 3 years ago, I came here with 3 male friends, all 21. We had a blast and, yes, they attracted a constant flow of women. Nevertheless, the women were all too young for me, or so they said. One of those men is with one of those women still today, with the addition of a son with Cole as a middle name, after me.



vacationhopeful said:


> And relax ... not every woman you talk with can be your "soulmate", but every woman does have a mother, girlfriend, or possibly a sister.  And some of them can be just plain fun to hang out with. JMHO,



I have several married and single women that I socialize with. I just don't wish to date any of the current range of female friends. And, yes, I do get out... just not regularly. Maybe, I should report that I got a divorce almost 3.5 years ago. The main inspiration for being so picky is to avoid the same mistake I made before... which can best be summarized by one word: settling. This time, I want to find true love and not settle for something less... settling leads to misery.


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 13, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> This time, I want to find true love and not settle for something less... settling leads to misery.



That works BOTH ways.

Not that I am a shrink or anything, but reading your posts seems very one-sided (your side). It would be interesting to hear from your x-wife or female friends.

This is not a dig at you as you seem like a normal person that would make a lot of women happy, but if you are holding out for a "perfect 10 woman" yet you are a "solid 6 man" (I am only making up numbers and I am not implying you are a 6) then you will be single a long time.

It also depends on your criteria as I would prefer a woman that looks like a 6 but has a personality and attitude of 10 rather than someone who looks like a 10 and has an attitude of a 6.


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## vacationhopeful (Jan 13, 2009)

As an experience solo vacationing single, I am the extrovert - friendly to all, with a nice smile to all.  I have met people at TSs in the computer room, in the pool, at the orientation breakfast, at the art auction, in the elevator --- hardly hardly ever chat with people at a bar.  I have even met (and dated) people introduced to me by Wyndham's Guest Services gals (the people who give you the hangtags for your car/set your appointment for your Owner's Update).  

Do I have a fun time? Yes.  I go on vacation to have a fun time - last Thanksgiving 08 I had dinner in Ft Lauderdale with the family from Scotland - explaining a traditional dinner (Key Lime Pie is not).   Some trips I click with a crew of people (Mom from OH age 72 left by her kids at the hot tub with the remains of a 24 pack - planned a repeat trip come April 09).  Or the family from Argentina whose 31 yo son flew home on the same plane by sister's husband's parents were on in Jan 08 - after a delightful intro by me the night before the flight (I played host to the in-laws per my invite at Xmas dinner, met son conversing in the resort's computer room, 3 hours of chatting between his parents and my sister's inlaws about wines, restrauants, sights was priceless).  Sometimes, it is which resort I am at - some just have a more friendly guest crew every time I visit vs other places.  

I love beautiful views - coffee tastes a little better it seems.  But I know I am the one that has to seek out people - approach people - chat.  Sure, I get a few who give me the cold shoulder ... but most people on vacation are looking for casual conversation, dinner suggestions, places to see, or my favorite --- "isn't this the most wonderful weather, I am so glad I am here and not at home".

I have now booked my Daytona 500 Feb 2010 trip, going to be in Orlando on Feb 1st for the Eagles appearance in the Super Bowl, have booked Biketoberfest 09 in Daytona, my college xx reunion, Thanksgiving in Ft Lauderdale, NYE in Pompano Beach (it is where I'll sleep, Key West for the couch shell drop), and my next big trip - NOLA Feb 09 for Mardi Grais!!!!!!!


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## alanraycole (Jan 13, 2009)

*C'mon, who said anything about looks?*



Vacation Dude said:


> if you are holding out for a "perfect 10 woman" yet you are a "solid 6 man" (I am only making up numbers and I am not implying you are a 6) then you will be single a long time.



May I suggest that it would have been more constructive to ask what I am looking for in a woman than to take for granted that my pickiness is centered on looks?

*In a nutshell, my IDEAL woman would have:*

*1. Similar tastes and interest to my own.*
I didn't say the same tastes and interests, but I would like her to have similar or complimentary interests to my own. Of course, having the same interests wouldn't hurt.

*2. The ethics of a nun.*
No, I am not Catholic. I am just trying to be illustrative, not precise.

*3. The personality of Diane Keaton.*

*4. The intellect of a PhD.*
Which is to say that if she wanted to persue such a degree, she would be capable of succeeding.

*4. Pursuits of action, fun and adventure.*

*5. At least average looks.*
Although if she had all the other features, I would be overjoyed with her even if she were homely.

Keep in mind that "nutshells" always have their limitations. This is only an attempt at a rough sketch of my ideal woman. I feel justified in such high expectations since, in my opinion, I possess all of these qualities, except having the personality of Diane Keaton.


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## rifleman69 (Jan 14, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> May I suggest that it would have been more constructive to ask what I am looking for in a woman than to take for granted that my pickiness is centered on looks?
> 
> *In a nutshell, my IDEAL woman would have:*
> 
> ...




Ouch with the homely comment.   I can see why you're single!   Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.


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## mustangs (Jan 14, 2009)

rifleman69 said:


> Ouch with the homely comment.   I can see why you're single!   Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.



I think you misunderstand the word homely. It is a nice word for ugly. He was saying that looks are the least of his main concerns and that he could easily fall for a smart, moral, outgoing, witty and active woman who shared his interests even if she were ugly. He was responding to a post by someone who presumed that he was picky over looks. 

After reading this thread, I think this man is perfectly endearing and almost makes me wish I was not already married. :ignore:


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## Timeshare Von (Jan 14, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> May I suggest that it would have been more constructive to ask what I am looking for in a woman than to take for granted that my pickiness is centered on looks?
> 
> *In a nutshell, my IDEAL woman would have:*
> 
> ...



You're right - you are too picky!!!


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## jlr10 (Jan 14, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> The closest one is about 60 miles away. The others are hundreds of miles away.



I just noticed this in the post and laughed.  I met my husband on the phone.   We worked for the same company, I was in the home office in Long Beach, and he was in one of the branches in San Diego. 106 miles one way.  I made the drive 2-3 weekend per month for three years, before relocating.  Considering I hate to drive that says a lot.  Our 25th anniversary will be this July, so I think I got good mpgs for drive in the long run.  But if you keep showing those pictures of Kauai I might have to leave him... 

I have no sage words of advice, only the experience of myself and my friends.  The only time we found someone worth dating was when we weren't looking for anyone.  Maybe it was just being relaxed I don't know, but when we were actively searching..nada.  So I guess the solution is don't look and then you find someone.  But I met my husband before the internet.  One of my friends did find his soul mate online and is happily married.  

My suggestion is just be yourself, don't make any changes.(Well maybe the glasses.)  Because the right person for you will be the one who likes you just the way you are naturally, and visa versa.  That is what it means to not settle IMHO


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 14, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> May I suggest that it would have been more constructive to ask what I am looking for in a woman than to take for granted that my pickiness is centered on looks?
> 
> *In a nutshell, my IDEAL woman would have:*
> 
> ...



I never implied you are only interested in good looks, that is why I specifically mentioned personality in an earlier post.

Ethics of a Nun alone will be hard to find in a single woman in her 30-40s, perhaps you need to go to a few church single meetings.

If you have the intellect of a PhD, then why are you still working for your parents and not branching out on your own or creating a furniture franchise? This is not meant to be mean, but I think you need to redefine your current job title as working for mom and dad does not sound that impressive.

"Persuits" is actually spelled "Pursuits"

Perhaps you can go to some singles events in Hawaii while you are there.

good luck


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## rifleman69 (Jan 14, 2009)

mustangs said:


> I think you misunderstand the word homely. It is a nice word for ugly. He was saying that looks are the least of his main concerns and that he could easily fall for a smart, moral, outgoing, witty and active woman who shared his interests even if she were ugly. He was responding to a post by someone who presumed that he was picky over looks.
> 
> After reading this thread, I think this man is perfectly endearing and almost makes me wish I was not already married. :ignore:




I think you missed the point of my post and others.


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## alanraycole (Jan 14, 2009)

Vacation Dude said:


> Ethics of a Nun alone will be hard to find in a single woman in her 30-40s, perhaps you need to go to a few church single meetings.



My core meaning in the statement, "ethics of a nun," is best captured in an earlier comment I wrote, "I'm also looking for the woman who, if she had millions of dollars, would not be surrounded with diamonds and gold, but with the people she's helped."



Vacation Dude said:


> If you have the intellect of a PhD, then why are you still working for your parents and not branching out on your own or creating a furniture franchise?



Please don't confuse intellect with ambition. I am doing just fine where I am. I'll admit to being happy with the money without the pressures. By the way, although I don't remember my specific GMAT scores, (that was a long time ago) I do remember the letter from Harvard encouraging me to apply to their university that I received in response to my scores. I didn't even list them as a university of interest. Also, my sister is working on her PhD right now.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate constructive criticism and I specifically thank you for yours. Nevertheless, I find some of the wrong impressions that some have gathered from my comments challenging. I simply want to fine tune the impressions so that the criticism continues to be constructive.


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## alanraycole (Jan 14, 2009)

Timeshare Von said:


> You're right - you are too picky!!!



Remember, I said I was outlining my IDEAL woman. I know finding a woman who matches all these characteristics in the extreme will be difficult. I have dated and continue to socialize with women who don't match them all and some even who don't match any of them. 

I simply thought it might be helpful to give a sketch of my perfect woman. But, I know no woman is perfect. Consider it a guide rather than a checklist.


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## alanraycole (Jan 14, 2009)

jlr10 said:


> My suggestion is just be yourself, don't make any changes.(Well maybe the glasses.)  Because the right person for you will be the one who likes you just the way you are naturally, and visa versa.  That is what it means to not settle IMHO



Thank you for this refreshing advice. This contrast with the references in this thread to "impressing" women. If something I am or have or do happens to impress a woman, so be it. But, I find it offensive to do it on purpose. There is a line somewhere between correcting blemishes in character, looks, habits, career titles, etc. and doing something with the strict intention of impressing a woman. I think it is proper to avoid offense, but I would find it distasteful to cross that line into being something that I am not to impress.


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## rifleman69 (Jan 14, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> My core meaning in the statement, "ethics of a nun," is best captured in an earlier comment I wrote, "I'm also looking for the woman who, if she had millions of dollars, would not be surrounded with diamonds and gold, but with the people she's helped."
> 
> 
> 
> ...




The fact that you're arguing about misconceptions and impressions with people on the internet instead of interacting with people face to face to see if they also see/don't see the same doesn't surprise me at all.


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 14, 2009)

rifleman69 said:


> The fact that you're arguing about misconceptions and impressions with people on the internet instead of interacting with people face to face to see if they also see/don't see the same doesn't surprise me at all.



Especially from Hawaii


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## DeniseM (Jan 14, 2009)

Let's remember the TUG rule of courtesy, please.


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## pjrose (Jan 14, 2009)

mpizza said:


> Nice offer!  I'm sure you'll find some company hanging around the pool, etc.  Perhaps we could set-up a calendar where TUGGERS could post timeshare trips open to share.  I've paired-up with other lady TUGGERS for European trips as my hubby doesn't enjoy that type of travel.
> 
> Maria



What a neat idea!  It doesn't help our current poster, unfortunately.  

You seem and look like such a nice friendly guy.  Maybe you could meet some people on your vacation?  Go to the same kind of place you'd find nice people at home?  church?  singles group?  weight watchers meeting?  (don't take that wrong - there are lots of single women of ALL sizes who go to WW!)  look on craigslist for volunteer opportunities on the island and show up? None of those is likely to get you a vacation partner, but at least some people to hang out with a bit?


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## alanraycole (Jan 15, 2009)

*What makes packing twice as hard?*

Packing on an evening you are dead tired! Not wanting to leave also makes it twice as hard, or does that make it four times harder or does that make it 16 times harder. But, this is my last night at the Lawai. I LOVE the Lawai Beach Resort. I love Poipu. To think I dreaded the end of my Shearwater week. Lawai and Poipu more than made up for it. 

Tomorrow, I stay at the Sheraton to fill in the gap between Lawai and Westin. Then back to Princeville for the Westin. It is a great situation to in to debate within yourself which side of Kauai you like best. I have always preferred the North Shore, but this week has definitely lessened the preference!

For those who may have wondered why I haven't commented on the restaurants, I ate almost every day at the same two places. I ate at the Waiohai's beach bar and Puka Dog. I love Puka Dogs and I love eating on the beach. I also also ate at the Beach House... very good. The only other place I ate on this side of the island all week was the Brewery in Waimea... also very good.

What did I do all week? I spent most of my time at the various beaches on this side of the island and I did a lot of hiking... pretty much the same thing I did on the other side of the island. I keep on thinking about a couple other things I want to do, but as I consider them each morning, I say, "naaaaah, I would rather go to the beach!


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 15, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> I keep on thinking about a couple other things I want to do, but as I consider them each morning, I say, "naaaaah, I would rather go to the beach!



great idea as Lake Waynoka is -1 'F


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## pianodinosaur (Jan 15, 2009)

alanraycole:  

I am very glad that I do not have to worry about dating.  However, I did not get married until I was 35 years old so I think I know how you feel. I met my wife on a blind date.  She is absolutely wonderful.  Sometimes it is better to be lucky than to be good.  In my case, I was good and lucky.

There are many nice women out there who would love to meet a snake handling Tugger. My sister, who has been married to my college roommate for many years, has been involved with herpetology for years. Don't give up. Make yourself available to meet other people.  I know that it is a very frightening thing to do.  Rejection hurts.  However, life can be exciting if you are willing to take chances.


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## alanraycole (Jan 16, 2009)

*This is the beginning of my last week on Kauai!*

I've checked into the Westin Princeville on a very rainy day. According to the concierge, the forcast for this final week after today has no worse than a 30% chance of rain. I look forward to the sun. I have a two bedroom lock-off unit, so there is still room for compatible company!


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## catwgirl (Jan 17, 2009)

Alan,

I love puka dogs.  Have one for me.  And try the pineapple relish, it's great.

Enjoy the rest of your trip!


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## alanraycole (Jan 19, 2009)

*I have enjoyed two near perfect days in the sun!*

After Thursday and especially Friday, I was wondering whether I would ever see the sun again... well, not exactly... but the rain was a bummer. According to noaa.gov, the rest of my week is probably going to be like my last two days!  

Yesterday, I spent the day at Kealia and Anini Beaches. Today, I spent the whole day at the beach at Hanalei Bay. It's one of my favorites, and maybe my favorite, considering that it is probably the only Hawaiian beach where I can arrive at dawn and not even think of leaving till dusk... except to eat. At lunch and dinner I enjoyed quaint Hanalei, definitely my favorite Hawaiian town. I enjoyed Hanalei Gourmet and the Polynesian Cafe. Yesterday, I ate a nice breakfast at the Olympic Cafe and between my visits to the the two beaches, I ate lunch at the Lighthouse Bistro... one of my most enjoyable meals this visit.


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## Icarus (Jan 19, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> I think it is proper to avoid offense, but I would find it distasteful to cross that line into being something that I am not to impress.



Well said, Alan. Good for you.

-David


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 19, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> Thank you for this refreshing advice. This contrast with the references in this thread to "impressing" women. If something I am or have or do happens to impress a woman, so be it. But, I find it offensive to do it on purpose. There is a line somewhere between correcting blemishes in character, looks, habits, career titles, etc. and doing something with the strict intention of impressing a woman. I think it is proper to avoid offense, but I would find it distasteful to cross that line into being something that I am not to impress.



Don't take this the wrong way but - Perhaps you are using the wrong "bait" or need to modify your "courtship behavior"

I hate to inform you that that "courtship" is the "way of the world" and the general order of natural selection in the animal world.

Just watch Animal Planet or Discovery Channel and you will see marvelous animal adaptations simply to court their mate.

Here are some interesting reading

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship

http://reference.aol.com/planet-earth/discovery/animal-courtship

http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761595481/Animal_Courtship_and_Mating.html

Here is a great example of someone trying to impress the ladies


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## rifleman69 (Jan 19, 2009)

Vacation Dude said:


> Don't take this the wrong way but - Perhaps you are using the wrong "bait" or need to modify your "courtship behavior"
> 
> I hate to inform you that that "courtship" is the "way of the world" and the general order of natural selection in the animal world.
> 
> ...




Great post, and rather fitting for this thread.


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## Carol C (Jan 19, 2009)

I loved your subject header...one of the best ever on TUG! So, here's my idea...use those 2 brs to spread out your stuff all over the place...be a MAN! My husband could tell you about how I try to get him to keep his dirty socks in one area and place his shoes in a closet or under a coffee table so I won't trip over them. Etc etc. Being on your own, with two bedrooms all to yourself, you can spread out with no apologies! Enjoy yourself! :whoopie:


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 19, 2009)

Carol C said:


> I loved your subject header...one of the best ever on TUG! So, here's my idea...use those 2 brs to spread out your stuff all over the place...be a MAN! My husband could tell you about how I try to get him to keep his dirty socks in one area and place his shoes in a closet or under a coffee table so I won't trip over them. Etc etc. Being on your own, with two bedrooms all to yourself, you can spread out with no apologies! Enjoy yourself! :whoopie:



ok...I will one-up your suggestion, assuming the second room is still empty.

Use the second room as ---- THE NAKED ROOM

Remember the ending of the movie "Failure To Launch" when Terry Bradshaw takes over Mathew McConaughey bedroom and converts it into his Naked Room...hilarious.


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 23, 2009)

alanraycole said:


> According to noaa.gov, the rest of my week is probably going to be like my last two days!



Alan, you have not updated us this past week. I am thinking this is one of two possibilities:

1. The timeshare you are in has no Internet
2. You got lucky!!!!

Inquiring minds want to know what's happeneing


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## Vacation Dude (Jan 26, 2009)

Vacation Dude said:


> Alan, you have not updated us this past week. I am thinking this is one of two possibilities:
> 
> 1. The timeshare you are in has no Internet
> 2. You got lucky!!!!
> ...



Wow...this story has really gone cold.

Any updates?


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## rifleman69 (Jan 26, 2009)

Vacation Dude said:


> Wow...this story has really gone cold.
> 
> Any updates?




What a big let down on this story.   All of that buildup to this...nothing.


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## Vacation Dude (Feb 2, 2009)

rifleman69 said:


> What a big let down on this story.   All of that buildup to this...nothing.



According to Alan's User Profile - Last Activity: February 1, 2009 09:00 PM

Therefore, he has been logging in, but not posting as his last post was January 19, 2009

Dear Alan - I know things are probably busy for you at the furniture store after your several week trip to Hawaii, but we TUGers want to read a conclusion to your story.


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## rifleman69 (Feb 2, 2009)

I forgot about this thread until your post Dude.   Give us some updates Alan, your adoring fans await!


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## rifleman69 (Feb 4, 2009)

Where's Dog The Bounty Hunter when you need him?


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## alanraycole (Feb 5, 2009)

*Great Final Week*

Although no women joined me, I enjoyed North Shore beaches every day of my last week.  Fortunately, the sun was my friend. I usually enjoyed two beaches a day... one in the morning that varied from day to day and then Hanalei Bay in the afternoon.  One exception was a tour to the rice mill and tarro farm Wednesday morning. I usually ate at one of the Hanalei restaurants for lunch and dinner. 

I spent more time on beaches this trip than on any previous trip. The more I visit Hawaii, the more that it seems that enjoying the beaches and the coast in general is almost all that matters... or, maybe, it was just the way I felt this trip.


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## Polly Metallic (Feb 5, 2009)

Thanks for the update. I'm glad you had a good time. While it's wonderful to share a vacation with someone else, it's also nice to be able to come and go and do exactly as you please, with no compromises as to your daily itinerary. Both scenarios are wonderful in their own ways. 

Enjoy which ever situation you find yourself in.


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## Vacation Dude (Feb 5, 2009)

Thanks for the update and I am glad you had a nice trip.


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## rifleman69 (Feb 5, 2009)

There is nothing wrong with beach time in Hawaii.   Great to hear you had fun Alan.


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