# how do you plan your meals?



## glypnirsgirl (Dec 30, 2011)

First a little background. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. Each of us was married once before, each for a substantial amount of time (more than 15 years for each). I was the primary breadwinner in my first marriage, my husband was the sole breadwinner in his first marriage. 

Despite the fact that I worked hard, I did all of the meal preparation in my first marriage. (My husband did all of the shopping). We ALWAYS sat down at a dinner table and ate dinner together. My husband was an appreciative eater and it was rewarding to cook for him.

Ian's wife did not cook for him, much. Ian cooked for himself and ate fairly simple things and was frequently on strange diets. 

While Ian and I were dating, I cooked a few meals for him and he always complained. Before we got married, he said that he would do the cooking because he knew that he was picky. 

The first 6 months that we were married, he would make weeks' worth of chili at a time with strange ingredients (peaches and or blueberries to replace the tomatoes). It wasn't exactly what I had signed on for. So, I complained. And, after several months of chili, I usually just did not eat what he cooked.

I would make occasional forays into the kitchen only to be starchily criticized and I would retreat. 

For a long time, I would simply eat at a local cafeteria or at BlackEyed Pea --- both place I could eat dinner for less than 15 dollars, many times less than $10. The cafeteria closed a while back and I got sick of eating out. 

I have now resumed cooking and Ian has stopped complaining. I have been cooking for about 2 weeks now and I am out of ideas. He does not like fish or chicken (both of which I prefer) and does not care much for beef. That leaves us with pork and the pasta meals that he prefers. The first week I made pork roast two different ways, pork short ribs with sauerkraut (not good), and apple cider braised pork chops (excellent). Second week I made a beef pot roast, chicken paprikash and ginger cream chicken. (he said that he would eat chicken if it didn't taste like chicken). 

I have looked through every cookbook and every website that I can think of (allrecipes, several Martha Stewart sites, ivillage, epicurious) and I have not been able to come up with a meal plan for 5 days. 

It is driving me crazy. In the past, I could plan dinner for a week and cook whatever I had on the schedule. I seem to have a mental block now. I look at a recipe and the first thought that comes into my head is, "Ian won't like that." 

While my son was home for the holidays, I made meals that I used to make regularly (meatloaf, curried scallops, hamburger stroganoff) and that I know that Jordan likes. Ian didn't complain about those meals.

One of the good things that has come out of my cooking is that my stepson is especially appreciative. And he now sits down and eats with us without complaining.

I used to have a list of basic ingredients to keep on hand and about 30 recipes that could be made from those basic ingredients. I think that it came from Martha Stewart, but I have not been able to find it. 

How do you decide what to make for dinner? Do you wait to be inspired? Do you just look in your cabinet and fridge and figure out what you can make? 

Help!

elaine


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## suesam (Dec 30, 2011)

Oh that sounds painful!!! I HATE it when I cook and people complain. My DH is very easy to cook for but my sons each have different tastes. I eventually gave up. It is so hard to please everyone. Boys are now at college and it is much easier to cook! 

I do basically fly by the seat of my pants when it comes to planning but always have plenty of fresh vegetables on hand so I can work around them. I have always loved the idea of being organized and having a guideline to work off of but am very much into eating what I am in the mood for...not what my weekly menu says. 

I do not think we could survive without eating chicken 3-4 times a week. 
Sorry I am of no help....but you do have my sympathy!!!

Sue


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## pkyorkbeach (Dec 30, 2011)

Excellent website that I found years ago.

http://savingdinnershop.com/

I have purchased numerous recipes from this site.  The food is excellent.  It has a lot of flavors which my daughters like.  There are many recipes to chose from.


If the link does not work just google saving dinner


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## JudyH (Dec 30, 2011)

You have my deepest sympathy.  I think that would have been a relationship buster for me LOL.

When I married DH 42 years ago, he weighed 121 and I could put my hand between every rib.  His mother knew nothing about cooking.  It is amazing that he and his sibs lived to adulthood,  sometimes there was spoiled food in the frig.  That left him with no knowledge about food, no taste in food, and a screwy belief system about what he liked.  I too tried to please him at first.  He had no interest in cooking (still doesn't) or food shopping.

I basically decided that the unspoken rule in the family was "the person who cooks fixes what they like"  and anyone one else can just eat it or make a PBJ sandwich for themselves. Being rather lazy, they soon learned just to eat what I fixed.  I might have pasta twice, beef once, chicken once, pork once, pizza, eat out once.  Meats are grilled, broiled, or baked.  No cream sauces, not a lot of carbs.  No one has weight isses.   My oldest son ate anything, my youngest only ate white foods until he was 10.  I don't believe in fighting over food, both our parents did that to us.  Now both sons are the cooks in their families and the picky one eats everything.

So my advice is just fix what you like and let him deal with it or fix his own meal.  Unfortuately, not everyone is a foodie.  Although my DH eats everything now, he rarely gets excited over food.  So sometimes we go out to eat with foodie friends and some of us get excited and some don't.  

I do get Cooks Illustrated magazine and try a lot of those recipes, but not for every day.

IMHO, you are not responsible for his stomach.  I learned that after  two years.


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## Patri (Dec 30, 2011)

We also fly by the seat of our pants. What ever is in the house. How about you cook for yourself, Ian cooks for himself, and you sit down together?


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## pjrose (Dec 30, 2011)

Plan?  

~5:30PM one of us says "what do you want for dinner?"  The other one says "I dunno, what do you want?"  "I don't know, I asked first," "Wanna go out?"  "nah, let's see what we have for leftovers," and on it goes.  

Sometimes we plan ahead, i.e. maybe noon or 2pm.

Sometimes we make something big (curry, chili, pork roast) or get a rotisserie chicken, and then we can just clean out the refrigerator the next night or two, no decision-making needed.


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## ronparise (Dec 30, 2011)

In my first marriage, my wife and I shopped together and we bought certain staples, eggs, cereal, bread, sugar, flour, condiments, spices, deli meats and cheeses, canned soups, coffee, etc. Neither one of us ate breakfast. and lunch was either left overs, or sandwiches..So this part of our shopping was done almost by rote. We made a list by looking at what was on the shelves at home and just filled them in.....Dinner was different. When it came to dinner,  we shopped with certain meals in mind.(we didnt have 80 of them, but we did have 15 or so) when we had the ingredients for 7 dinners, it was off to the checkout.

We shared the cooking...whoever got home first cooked dinner, the other cleaned up. It helped that both of us had worked for Marriott in one of his HotShoppes,   Both our mothers were farm girls and grew up in the depression. We knew basic coking and we were both raised to eat what was put in front of us and sat down to dinner together; almost always

My second wife was a problem, or I was....she did the shopping and most of the cooking and she bought on a whim. She liked to have a pantry where she could go and be inspired. Dinner was planned in front of the pantry with the ingredients on hand. She would make a meal, and we would eat, sometimes together, and sometimes not. It was a struggle to bring our two sets of expectations together....But we have...Now we shop at Costco, sample all the stuff thay have at their sample stations, When we agree on something, we buy it; and to a large degree, we buy pre- packaged,  pre prepared foods..(heat and eat stuff).  I cant remember the last time we  cooked from scratch...We both can; we just dont.

My advice to you guys... I dont have any, except that given time, I bet you will both compromise and move to a  middle ground that satisfies you both...either that or you need to do what my grandparents((my fathers parents) did...They each had their own kitchen and they shopped, cooked and ate separately.  When we visited they set a big table with each of their specialties and we all ate together

Good Luck


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## Elan (Dec 30, 2011)

I love to eat.  I love to cook.  I love to grocery shop.  My wife and I share cooking duty (dinner).  But our work situation dictates that she generally does the grocery shopping.  So I find it difficult to cook based on what she's purchased.  She's more of the "let's just get something on the table" type, and I'm more of the "I want to make something really good" type.  She really struggles to come up with meal ideas, whereas I can just wander around the grocery store, buy what's on sale and have 10 meals in my head based on those ingredients.  We try to discuss meal ideas before she does major shopping, but sometimes it doesn't happen.  For us, a week's worth of dinners would typically be 5 meals from scratch, one night of left overs, and another night of either going out (seldom), take and bake pizza (fairly often, an obvious hit with the kids), or "fend for yourself".  

  At one point in time, we were keeping a log of meals that we agreed we all liked.  When we got on a dry spell of meal ideas, we'd print out the log.  It truly is amazing how you can forget about good entrees that everyone likes.  The spreadsheet grew to about 40 meals before we stopped using it, but would likely be double that now.  

  As far as advice, I'd suggest buying a few of the "simple meal" type cookbooks and trying to come up with a list of 15 or so that you both find acceptable, perhaps with modifications to suit your tastes.  When I'm looking for something new I'll go to foodnetwork.com and find a Tyler Florence, Bobby Flay or Paula Deen recipe and read the reviews.  If it's a hit with most reviewers, it's likely pretty good.  

  If you can't identify a subset of meals that you both can agree on, then I'm in agreement with the suggestion that you both prepare your own meals.  I despise picky eaters (because I was raised to be appreciative of simply having food), and would ultimately tire of trying to appease someone who wasn't willing to be more open-minded.


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## chellej (Dec 30, 2011)

I do all the cooking at my house and after 36 years I spend alot of time thinking about what to cook.  My 93 year old father will not eat chicken or fish so like you I am limited.    Some of my favorites:

Pork roast with Hawaiian rub (get it on Kauai) with apples or pears and wine (either white or white zin)

Ham & cabbage cooked with poataoes and toamato soup

Vegetable soup with Cheese squares (loaf of bread with crust cut off & cut into 2 "squares....spread with veleveta & butter 2/1 that has been whipped together then bake squares)

Meat Pie (beef stew topped with bisquit and baked)

Blt's or grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches

Pulled pork sandwhiches (throw a pork roast in the crockpot & topp with bbq sauce

French onion soup....very easy to make

Potato, cheddar & green chili soup with bacon crumbles

Taco salad made with chili

Tacos

Burritos enchilada style....fill with whatever leftover meat or beans

We do alot of meat & potato......Steak or chops, potatoes: Baked, mashed, twice baked, scalloped, home fries, hash browns


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## MichaelColey (Dec 30, 2011)

glypnirsgirl said:


> First a little background. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. Each of us was married once before, each for a substantial amount of time (more than 15 years for each). ...
> 
> While Ian and I were dating, I cooked a few meals for him and he always complained. Before we got married, he said that he would do the cooking because he knew that he was picky.
> 
> ...


 


ronparise said:


> My advice to you guys... I dont have any, except that given time, I bet you will both compromise and move to a middle ground that satisfies you both...


I think Ron's spot on here, and I think to a large degree you've both moved towards the middle.  It's almost inevitable that you'll continue.

From the way you describe things, you both came from considerably different ways of doing things, tastes in foods, ways to cook, etc.  And you were both very set in your ways and unwilling to change.  That's tough in a marriage.

We all have different ways of doing things, different preferences, different personalities, etc.  That's actually good and helpful, as we complement each other.  If we were clones of each other, there wouldn't be any benefit to being together.  There has to be respect and understanding for the other, and it sounds like that may have been missing at first.



glypnirsgirl said:


> I have been cooking for about 2 weeks now and I am out of ideas.


A few thoughts:

1) Keep in mind that Ian doesn't need/desire the variety that you like.  If he's fine with eating chili every day for 3 months, he doesn't need a different pork dish every night.  It sounds like you like more variety and he likes his favorites.  Find some middle road.  Repeats are fine.

2) Every meal doesn't need to be something that both of you likes.  Most should, but it doesn't hurt to have some nights where you have chicken or beef or fish and some nights where you have fruity chili or even some nights where you each have something different.  Over time, you'll find more and more in common and you'll probably each come to like some of the foods that the other likes.

3) You don't need to try something new every night.  If you do something new just two nights a week, that's 100 new receipes that you try every year.  Surely 5 or 10 will become new favorites, giving you even more variety going forward.

4) After each meal, ask Ian (and yourself) what he liked and didn't like about the meal.  Don't treat it as criticism and don't get upset or hurt if he doesn't like something.  Use it to learn what he (and you) like so you can focus on the meals you both like (and perhaps find other similar ones).

I really like Food.com (formerly RecipeZaar.com) for finding new recipes.  Their filtering is awesome.  You can select a major category you like, filter by specific characteristics (like things that are easy to make, certain ingredients, cooking method, etc.), sort by rating, etc.


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## MichaelColey (Dec 30, 2011)

I'm glad that Kara and I (and our kids) have such similar tastes in foods.  We both like just about anything.  We both love to cook (and eat).  I like a bit more variety than she does (leftovers once is usually my limit).  I lean more towards good and she leans more towards fast and healthy.  We both like to try new things.  I do all the grilling and several other meals, and she does most of the day to day cooking and shopping.  When we're at timeshares, I often do most or all of the cooking.


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## Elan (Dec 30, 2011)

I would add that when trying something new, it may be worthwhile for both of you to peruse the recipe before proceeding.  Often one can get a pretty good idea whether a recipe will be a hit or miss simply by examining the list of ingredients and method of preparation.


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## Ridewithme38 (Dec 30, 2011)

I don't really plan my meals, right by where i live there is a Burger King, White Castle express, KFC, McDonalds, TacoBell/pizzahut and a Checkers all less then a mile from my front door...I also tend to Order delivery from "WingsOver" and a basic Pizza place atleast once a week

My general plan is not to eat from any one place more then once a week


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## Talent312 (Dec 30, 2011)

Here's a meal that I served up at a recent family gathering that found favor:
Pork schnitzel with scalloped potatoes, salad and green beans.

Schnitzel is traditionally made with veal cutlets, but that's terribly pricey. Use a pork loin roast sliced into 1/2" chops and pounded down into 1/4" cutlets to tenderize. Flavor with salt+pepper, dip into flour, a beaten-egg mixture and bread crubs, then fry in butter or olive oil.

For a different sort of salad, try adding rasberries, almonds, and use a pomegranite vinagrete.

We usually make enuff to have leftovers for two-three nights... and occasionally fit in a frozen Souffer's lasagna or Hormel entre. Sometimes, plain ol' steak and potatos.


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## Passepartout (Dec 30, 2011)

Elaine, you have my sympathy. This food inequity would've been a deal killer for me, but it is what it is.

DW and I are fairly adventurous eaters, though she doesn't go out of her way for lots of new things. The repertoire of tied and true is large. A few things- like Brussels Sprouts are not on the menu.

I do most of the shopping/cooking day-to-day. I go to the supermarket that's 2 blocks away, cruise the perimeter for close-dated marked-down fresh meats and veggies, and make a meal plan based on what I find. Sometimes the pickin's are better than others and the freezer benefits. Sometimes the choices are not so good and I consult the freezer for today's offering. There is always at least one large salad a day and a couple of veggies/fruit courses.

On days when no inspiration occurs, or we just don't feel like cooking, take-n-bake pizza is a special treat. This happens maybe once in 2 weeks.

I subscribe to Cuisine at Home magazine http://www.cuisineathome.com/ and find at least one great recipe in every issue to cook.

My way of planning obviously won't work for a picky eater, but that's the way I do it.

Jim


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## MOXJO7282 (Dec 30, 2011)

My lovely wife is a classic home maker and a top notch one at that. She plans in advance and gives me the shopping list to source all her ingredients. I do all the BBQ and the deep frying when we do that on occasion.

My wife makes killer italian lasagna, eggplant parm or the like, great pancakes and is a truly excellent baker. Her cheesecake is as good as any you'll try. 

She also makes the perfect cold cuts sandwich. Some will say perfect cold cut sandwich? What is so hard about that? I know but there just something about the way she balances the meat and cheese, toppings and mayo that tastes like you got it from a good deli.



I compliment her and rave to all my firends all the time because 9 out of 10 meals are just excellent. Sometimes I'll ask what's for dinner and she hasn't planned anything and I will jokingly give her a hard time because she is just so good at managing our meals its unusual when she doesn't have something planned. Most nights I don't even know what we're having and I just get a call down to my office dinners ready!!

As the sole breadwinner its very nice to know you have a partner who is doing her part and does it so well. Its also a major cost saver because if you don't plan ahead, especially as a family you end up spending a ton on take-out.


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## stmartinfan (Dec 30, 2011)

You've got a challenging situation.  I have a somewhat similar home, in that one daughter likes a very limited list of foods, little meat and bland flavors.  The other 3 of us are adventurous eaters, who like lots of different things and enjoy trying some new ideas. 

I have separate small upright freezer, and it's the way I manage meal prep.

I always have some meat "staples" on hand in the freezer - ground beef, pork chops, pork tenderloin, pot roast, chicken pieces (frozen individually), salmon, shrimp, etc. (This is also a money saver, because I'm a Costco shopper.)   And I always have basics like pasta, rice, seasonings, pasta sauce, BBQ sauce, etc., on hand plus dairy and egg items in the refrigerator.

With a quick zap in the MW to defrost something I can put together lots of different meals in an hour, if I haven't planned in advance.  I do buy fresh ingredients on my weekly(or more often) shopping trip, but don't always plan days out - I've got enough on hand to come up with something.  

I make lots of "saucy" dishes that can top pasta or rice; picky eater can eliminate the meat, if she wants or simply eat the starch plain.  I have a standard repertoire but I also have a big file of recipes to try from various sources.

I also keep a whole supply of already cooked items frozen in single servings and some single serve prepared meals (lots of pastas without meat for the picky one).  Right now, you'll find homemade chicken noodle soup, split pea soup and chili in the freezer, along with ground beef cooked and seasoned seasoned for a sloppy joe sandwich or tacos.  That way if I make a meal someone doesn't want, the "outlier" can easily heat up something else.

I agree with the suggestion to develop a smaller list of "approved" meals that rotate fairly frequently, so you're not fighting the battle every day.  Then gradually add one new recipe a week to expand the choices.  I find it helps with my daughter if I do things that seem "familiar with a twist."  If everyone likes spaghetti with meat sauce, then trying doing a dish that has an Italian red sauce to serve with pasta, but uses chicken.  

I like the magazine "Cooking Club" (or cookingclub.com website) because it's a bit more interesting but more practical than epicurious.com.  I use allrecipes.com sometimes, but find too many of those dishes rely on canned soups, etc., for my taste.


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## DeniseM (Dec 30, 2011)

My DH is a terrible cook - has no concept of proportions or following a recipe  (banned from the kitchen.)  Unfortunately, he likes to grocery shop - but tends to buy the same items over and over again.  We sit down to a home cooked dinner 5 or 6 nights a week, but I really get bored cooking what he buys, because it's so repetitive.

He also tends to be a bargain shopper and buys some things that just sit in the pantry or freezer, because they aren't things I would ever cook.  

Since he enjoys going to the grocery store, I haven't been able to convince him that the cook (me) should also do the shopping.  Going shopping together would be logical - but he stops after work and shops by himself about once a week, no matter what I suggest.  No, he won't use a list.    He is very set in his ways...

Upside - he isn't a picky eater and never complains.


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## Ridewithme38 (Dec 30, 2011)

DeniseM said:


> My DH is a terrible cook - has no concept of proportions or following a recipe  (banned from the kitchen.)  Unfortunately, he likes to grocery shop - but tends to buy the same items over and over again.  We sit down to a home cooked dinner 5 or 6 nights a week, but I really get bored cooking what he buys, because it's so repetitive.
> 
> He also tends to be a bargain shopper and buys some things that just sit in the pantry or freezer, because they aren't things I would ever cook.
> 
> ...



Denise, i promise i'd let you do all you shopping and cooking!


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## heathpack (Dec 30, 2011)

I recommend you get a mini pie maker.  After all, nobody doesn't like pie.

H


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## pjrose (Dec 30, 2011)

Like StMartinFan, we keep our regular items on hand in the freezer and pantry. 

We rarely if ever plan ahead, but can make whatever we feel like because it's usually available.

We typically go with either boneless skinless chicken breasts (often sliced into thinner filets or cut into tenders), boneless pork (cut up bigger roasts when it's on sale), flank steak or sirloin, haddock or salmon, spaghetti/meatballs or taco/burrito night. 

For chicken, pork, or steak we either 

make teriyaki - cut up, put in big zip bag, add teriyaki sauce or soy sauce, oil, garlic, and ginger; 
or sprinkle it with instant Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix or Good Seasons Italian Dressing Mix 
or put in zip lock bag with some balsamic vinegar, olive oil, garlic and onion powders, and Cavendar's Greek Seasoning.
In each case, let it marinate a half hour or so, then saute in a little olive oil.

Haddock or Salmon, sprinkle with either dressing mix, saute in olive oil.

For spaghetti/meatballs, we get turkey meatballs, Ragu 7-herb sauce, and nuke them together while we cook the pasta.

Rotisserie chicken, and then curry with the leftovers (I used to make it homemade, but now use Korma sauce, adding sauteed onion, cubed apple, smushed banana, and some frozen green peas for color). 

Sometimes Hillshire Farms turkey polish sausage or italian sausage.

While whatever main dish is cooking, we nuke fresh veggies - broccoli, green beans, asparagus, and yes Brussels Sprouts (but only if tiny and bright green), for three minutes, drain and add a tad of margarine and maybe a bit of seasoned salt. 

We also usually have pre-made mashed potatoes or rice or couscous with dinner. 

"Big cooking" consists of a brisket or a huge pot of chili or pea soup or ham and bean soup, each of which provides lots of meals as well as helps fill the freezer.

Soup and sandwiches are favorites, as are Lean Cuisine etc.

Leftovers make up at least 2 dinners each week.


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## bjones9942 (Dec 30, 2011)

Elaine -

Is his mother still alive?  If so, pick up the phone and tell her to fix that 'picky eater' upbringing she allowed!!!  

I like chicken.  Let me qualify that.  I like chicken cooked and on my plate.  I'd also be hard pressed to plan meals that weren't heavily favoring chicken.  Honestly, I'd be of a mind to fix my chicken and dumplings for me and set a tub of peanut butter in front of him.  But then you want to have a happy relationship - so I'd take the advise of all the previous posters who have more patience than I :ignore:

Better yet, you *could* try to make things more bizarre than he does.  Then put the peanut butter in front of your seat!


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## Twinkstarr (Dec 30, 2011)

I've been using pepperplate to organize my recipes. It will generate a shopping list that you can organize to your favorite stores layout. If I find a recipe everyone likes I put it into pepperplate. 

We sometimes do eggs/diced ham for dinner or whole wheat waffles with turkey sausage(always have some in freezer, quick to defrost).

I have a couple of pasta recipes that are easy to prepare. Soup and sandwiches work. When pork tenderloin is on sale, I usually buy 2 and keep them in the freezer.

DH is not a fussy eater and likes me to try different things. Eldest DS is an Aspie and has to be gentley lead into different things. He's done well, tried pate tonight and liked it. DS10 when in the mood is more adventureous, ate escargot tonight and I only got one.  

If I make a saucy dish like curry or a stir fry, I have to keep the rice or noodles separate as eldest likes to eat them separate and you never know what mood the youngest is in. Keeps my anxiety level down.


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## IngridN (Dec 30, 2011)

pjrose said:


> Plan?
> 
> ~5:30PM one of us says "what do you want for dinner?"  The other one says "I dunno, what do you want?"  "I don't know, I asked first," "Wanna go out?"  "nah, let's see what we have for leftovers," and on it goes.
> 
> ...



I had to laugh...that's our conversation. After the I asked you first, it's usually me saying OK if you don't have any suggestions, how about Lean Cuisine or soup. His response, we always have Lean Cuisine or soup. Me...how about tuna, the cats will love you   and he agrees that it's a good plan :hysterical: .

Ingrid


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## MuranoJo (Dec 30, 2011)

We typically try to squeeze about 3 meals around a major protein & add in a salad &/or veggies.
For instance:
Hamburger:  Spaghetti, tacos, goulash, sloppy Joes
Ham:  Baked ham w/sweet potatoes, fritata the next morning, sandwiches, scalloped potatoes
Turkey (breast or legs, etc.):  Baked w/roasted potatoes, sandwiches, pot pie
Chicken:  Baked w/stuffing, sandwiches, chicken noodle soup, chicken & dumplings
Beans:  Chili, soups, beans & ham (love beans & usually lots to freeze for later)
Pork:  Crockpot version for dinner, enchiladas, sandwiches
Tuna:  Tuna noodle casserole, tuna salad for sandwiches


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## DeniseM (Dec 31, 2011)

Twinkstarr said:


> Eldest DS is an Aspie and has to be gentley lead into different things. He's done well, tried pate tonight and liked it.



I can't remember if we talked about this before, but my 23 yr. old son has Asperger's syndrome, as well.  He now likes quite a few foods, and will cautiously try new ones, but as a child he lived on peanut butter sandwiches, cereal, waffles, pancakes, plain fast food hamburgers, applesauce, yogurt, and milk.  He would not eat any "mixed" foods like casseroles or tacos or pizza or pasta.  Fortunately, he was always cooperative about taking a multivitamin and fish oil pills!


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## glypnirsgirl (Dec 31, 2011)

This has been very helpful. 

I have been able to take something from every post. 

After reading these insights (he can eat the same thing over and over; I don't have to make him happy; he can eat peanut butter sandwiches if he really doesn't like what I make, etc), I had some real AHHA! moments. 

One of the things that I did was to go through an old recipe box that I started when I was 18. The recipes that I chose back then were simpler than what I got accustomed to over the years of being married to my first husband. So I have pulled out some of my older, simpler recipes. I think that will help because I will have less time invested if it turns out to be something that he dislikes.

I talked to both Ian and my bonus son tonight and it turned out that both of them were happy with everything that i have made for the last couple of weeks. And they won't mind if I cook 5 to 10 meals over and over again. John asked that I add spaghetti to the rotation and said that he would be happy. John and I both like fish and one of the things that I had done to meet that need for both of us was to buy one of the big packs of smoked salmon from Costco and we have been eating bagels and salmon for breakfast several days a week. Ian likes cereal so that has worked well. 

I have a couple of big bags of the individually frozen fish filets that I also bought at Costco. Both John and i are happy with poached, broiled and grilled fish. I can make macaroni and cheese or rice pilaf which Ian will be happy with and John and I can use that as a side dish.

Ian is allergic to my favorite vegetables: brocolli, cauliflour and asparagus. And he loves turnip and mustard greens which i don't want to eat more than once a month or so. He will eat canned vegetables which I dislike. I think that we are just going to do our vegetables separately --- he eats his at room temperature and I can steam the fresh vegetables for John and I. And we will both eat cabbage, brussel sprouts and spinach. 

 And I asked him why his parents let him be so picky (they both passed away after we were married) and they just were not bossy or strict (my parents were both).

[As an aside for those of you that have been reading the Outlander series, my husband was raised in a Quaker home. There is a line in Echo of the Bone when William asks Rachel Hunter about her brother getting read out of their meetng and he says that he thought that Quakers were against conflict. And she says, "No. We are against violence. We love conflict." It sums up Ian very well.]

Ian told me that when he got picky his mother told him he could have one burner and cook for himself. He was also allowed to talk back (absolutely forbidden and dangerous! in my parents' homes). At the same time, my parents taught me things that Ian's parents didn't teach him --- basic things that I thought that all parents teach their children like how to tell time and tie shoes. His parents were crazy about each other and much less concerned about their children. His mother was not a good cook and his dad wasn't picky. 

And if I had known that he was like this, it would have been a deal killer for me, too. Luckily, I did not know it and I married him in blissful ignorance.

Thank you so much for your help, encouragement and insights.

elaine


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## glypnirsgirl (Dec 31, 2011)

DeniseM said:


> I can't remember if we talked about this before, but my 23 yr. old son has Asperger's syndrome, as well.  He now likes quite a few foods, and will cautiously try new ones, but as a child he lived on peanut butter sandwiches, cereal, waffles, pancakes, plain fast food hamburgers, applesauce, yogurt, and milk.  He would not eat any "mixed" foods like casseroles or tacos or pizza or pasta.  Fortunately, he was always cooperative about taking a multivitamin and fish oil pills!



Jordan has Asperger's along with his low IQ problem. As a child, he could not stand to see me put a sauce on something --- not even spaghetti sauce on to spaghetti --- and certainly nothing like gravy or sauce on meat, no mustard or mayo on sandwiches, etc. What was funny to me was that it was okay for casseroles as long as they were mixed out of sight and then presented as "one dish" for dinner. 

One of the great things that has happened in his marriage is that he has become more willing to try new things. He thinks that he might try a roller coaster the next time that we are at WDW as long as he has a Xanax first.

elaine


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## Talent312 (Dec 31, 2011)

One more idea for pork:
Boneless pork rib meat, in a crockpot, covered with BBQ sauce.
Cook on low for 6-8 hours, or high for 2 hours, then low for 2 hours.


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## Icc5 (Jan 1, 2012)

*22 years ago till now*

My wife likes to cook and we both work at a grocery store.  She is picky as to foods she will eat, I will eat almost anything.  She shops when she is getting off work and buys what she wants to fix.  She asks me about once every two weeks what I want but it is usually what she wants to fix.
Now, 22 years later it is still the same execept my 21 year old son also likes to cook so about every 3 weeks or so he makes something.  During the summer they both BBQ almost all meals.  Now my wife leaves Friday's for picking up something at either fast foods or take out at a better restaraunt.
Lately when my son cooks he is teaching his girlfriend and they make several dishes at once.  They will be in the kitchen all day.
Both my wife and son like to experiment with new things (neither like fish so I get that when we go out to dinner).  We have subscribed to Taste of Home for the past 10 years or so and to Food Network Magazine the last year or so.
We all are happy with the situation and feel we eat pretty good.
Bart


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## Zac495 (Jan 1, 2012)

My husband plans our meals for the week on Saturday morning. Then he goes out and does all the shopping. When he's in town (50%) he cooks. 

We are pretty picky, but we do our best. He and I like fish, so one night we do that while making tacos or something for the kids. There are a few things we'll all eat  - but since my daughter goes to allstar cheer in another state 2 days a week, she and I eat on the road a lot. TV dinners (always low fat) are a good staple.


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## stmartinfan (Jan 1, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> Jordan has Asperger's along with his low IQ problem. As a child, he could not stand to see me put a sauce on something --- not even spaghetti sauce on to spaghetti --- and certainly nothing like gravy or sauce on meat, no mustard or mayo on sandwiches, etc. What was funny to me was that it was okay for casseroles as long as they were mixed out of sight and then presented as "one dish" for dinner.
> 
> One of the great things that has happened in his marriage is that he has become more willing to try new things. He thinks that he might try a roller coaster the next time that we are at WDW as long as he has a Xanax first.
> 
> elaine



My picky eater is also has ASD, and I think that influences her aversion to certain textures, like many meats.  I've also read about how some individuals just have more sensitive taste buds, and I think she's one of those.  Even as a young child, she would react so dramatically to spicier, more flavorful food with spontaneous facial expressions, so it was apparent her aversion was more than just a preference.  It was like her taste buds were sending a shock to her whole body.  While some of that continues, i also over time, she's just "decided" she doesn't want to like certain things and doesn't give them a fair chance, even if logic would say she should like something based on all the similar foods she likes.

Another part of food choices is our "values" around food.  I used to work for the food industry, and was part of a large research project we did around this issue.  For example, for me, food is "love," - making and serving meals for my family is one of the ways I show my love for them.  For many, food is "fuel" - they eat simply to stay alive with no real concern for how something tastes.  For others, food is "adventure" - it's a way to experience new things and explore the world.  There are other categories, but those are some of the easier to explain.  Of course, when family members have different values around food - conflict can occur.  If I'm about "love," I can feel hurt when someone who's about "fuel" doesn't notice or care about the effort I put into making a special meal!


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## ScoopKona (Jan 1, 2012)

I buy food based on one criterion: distance from where it was produced to my front door.

That means I buy brussels sprouts in the winter, artichokes in the spring, apples in the fall, et cetera. My beef comes from a ranch 120 miles from my house. I know the rancher. Chickens come from a farm a few minutes away. Eggs come one mile away. 

I still can't get decent milk, because there's none to be had in the US. But for the most part, I do hyper-local shopping. 

And that's how I work up recipes. I generally stick with the classics, because I'm a classically-trained cook. (I was BUSY during my hiatus from this forum.)

If your husband won't eat a plate of mixed sauteéd, fresh veg, with roasted/grilled meat, all sourced locally, then that's HIS problem. Let him eat Spaghettios and Hot Pockets if he can't stomach real, decent food.

My advice, make him take a cooking class at the community college -- if that option exists. Most people who learn to cook have no choice but to train their palate.


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## heathpack (Jan 1, 2012)

stmartinfan said:


> ?.. when family members have different values around food - conflict can occur.  If I'm about "love," I can feel hurt when someone who's about "fuel" doesn't notice or care about the effort I put into making a special meal!



That is very insightful.

H


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## DeniseM (Jan 1, 2012)

stmartinfan said:


> My picky eater is also has ASD, and I think that influences her aversion to certain textures, like many meats



Texture is a biggie with my son as well - sometimes texture makes him gag, even if he likes the taste and wants to eat the food.  A combo of creamy and chunky is hard for him.


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## m61376 (Jan 1, 2012)

It's interesting to read all the posts. So much of life really does revolve around food. DH and I are both really good cooks (or so everyone tells me  ), and luckily have similar tastes (except I don't like fish) despite very different cooking styles. He is more of an on the spot cook, and rarely cooks the same thing exactly the same way a second time.He tends to be more gourmet and I am more traditional with a gourmet flair. Since we are always fairly sure how mine will come out I am the entertaining cook, except that he is the master griller and smoker.

I've found that the more gourmet type dishes with interesting flavors and spices that we've tried, the more I find that I like them, and over the past several years I've added more and more spices and the like rather than just relying on the traditional ones. You may find as you introduce new flavors slowly that they will grow on him, and he may over time learn to appreciate them. I know I learned to appreciate the different spices and flavors over time.

Talking about trying new things- anyone have any experience with Sous Vide cooking? Just bought a new toy and am trying it out for the first time (it's heating as we speak). Reputedly it is how many of the top restaurants cook perfectly done meat, poultry and fish. Anxious to see if it is as good as the hype makes it out to be.


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## pjrose (Jan 1, 2012)

m61376 said:


> . . .
> Talking about trying new things- anyone have any experience with Sous Vide cooking? Just bought a new toy and am trying it out for the first time (it's heating as we speak). Reputedly it is how many of the top restaurants cook perfectly done meat, poultry and fish. Anxious to see if it is as good as the hype makes it out to be.



I think this was discussed on TUG a year or so ago.....try searching.....and I wouldn't be in the least surprised to find that the Scooper was the one writing about it!


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## jlhworth (Jan 1, 2012)

*Three things I use:*

1.  I subscribe to *e-mealz *which provide 5 to seven evening meals that usually can be prepared in 30 minutes from the grocery store of your choosing, with a few special needs, even(gluten-free, or low carb) if necessary. I look over the meals (which are numbered 1-7) decide which ones I can utilize given our likes and dislikes, then the shopping list, complete with prices, places the # of the meal next to the item on the shopping list. ie: If you don't plan to fix the meal #3, don't purchase those items from the shopping list. The site offers a blog which will inform about coupons, or recipes. I believe it saves time money and stress among other things!

2.  Clean Eating Magazine, gives me healthy ideas and provide 2 weeks of menus in each issue, again, complete with shopping lists!

3. There is a cookbook I believe it is "A Dinner A Day" but I'm not certain.  I purchased it several years ago. It provides a different meal for each night of the year. Again the meals are quick (30 minutes), usually includes a salad.  It never repeats. I've not used it as it is designed to be used, but the index lists all the beef, chicken, etc. recipes together. So sometimes to decide what to use my hamburger for, I go to this book.  Through the years I've discovered some family favorites.  It provides weekly shopping lists.

I guess this proves I hate shopping for meals almost as much as I dislike planning "what's for dinner".


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## ScoopKona (Jan 1, 2012)

pjrose said:


> I think this was discussed on TUG a year or so ago.....try searching.....and I wouldn't be in the least surprised to find that the Scooper was the one writing about it!



Go to eGullet.org and read the Sous Vide thread there.


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## pjrose (Jan 1, 2012)

These are likely what I was remembering:

http://tugbbs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109730

http://tugbbs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=158363

http://tugbbs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=155994


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## Kel (Jan 2, 2012)

My husband and I have been married for 33 years.  I do the grocery shopping and the cooking and my husband does the cleanup.  I’m more picky about food than my husband – so I prepare most meals.    We eat in more than out and we like to eat healthy meals without processed foods.  It’s fast, easy, healthy, delicious and inexpensive to grill a chicken breast or a piece of fish and have some steamed or grilled vegetables.   Once a week we may have a small steak, turkey loaf, or pork tenderloin with vegetables and maybe a potato or rice.  When we, occasionally, want something really unhealthy like tacos, lasagna, pizza, burgers and fries or sweet and sour chicken, etc. we'll go out.

We eat oatmeal, freshly juiced fruits and vegetables, fat free milk and some form of protein almost every morning.  We take healthy lunches to work with us most days too.  

We try to eat as heart healthy as we can - heart disease runs on both sides of my husband’s family and on my Mom’s side in my family.   And, because we eat healthy and exercise - we are both in excellent health and great shape in our mid 50s.

Like I said, our meals are fast, easy, healthy, delicious and inexpensive.

Cheers and Happy New Year!


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## Twinkstarr (Jan 2, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> Jordan has Asperger's along with his low IQ problem. As a child, he could not stand to see me put a sauce on something --- not even spaghetti sauce on to spaghetti --- and certainly nothing like gravy or sauce on meat, no mustard or mayo on sandwiches, etc. What was funny to me was that it was okay for casseroles as long as they were mixed out of sight and then presented as "one dish" for dinner.
> 
> One of the great things that has happened in his marriage is that he has become more willing to try new things. He thinks that he might try a roller coaster the next time that we are at WDW as long as he has a Xanax first.
> 
> elaine



Alex is 15, high IQ with Asperger's. We are still working getting condiments on a sandwich or burger. He now will use BBQ sauce on pork tenderloin(small victory). Loves steak, but no steak sauce. Still not a fan of gravy, if I make turkey/chicken curry(fast meal recipe from Cooking Light) it is off to one side of plate and the rice is on the other side. Veggies are coming along nicely, he has always like brocoli, not a fan of raw stuff.

At the pate restaurant, he had a pizza made with fresh mozzerella(not shredded just slices on the pizza, along with fresh basil). Not one comment about either item, just ate it and said it was good. 


Only coaster I have problems getting him on at WDW is RnR. He doesn't like going upside down. Will ride Expedition Everest with me and then expects me to buy him an ice cream cone from that little cart just before you get to EE.


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## Twinkstarr (Jan 2, 2012)

DeniseM said:


> I can't remember if we talked about this before, but my 23 yr. old son has Asperger's syndrome, as well.  He now likes quite a few foods, and will cautiously try new ones, but as a child he lived on peanut butter sandwiches, cereal, waffles, pancakes, plain fast food hamburgers, applesauce, yogurt, and milk.  He would not eat any "mixed" foods like casseroles or tacos or pizza or pasta.  Fortunately, he was always cooperative about taking a multivitamin and fish oil pills!



You have an Aspie too? Small world. Mine has never been a PBJ fan, took him years to like hamburgers, wasn't crazy about the texture of ground beef. 

Right now he'll give anything a try, but I have to watch the seasonings in certain dishes. 

One of his favorite things is anysort of meat or fish I do in my smoker. I have a valentine's day poem circa 6th grade from him, and my smoked chicken is featured in it. :rofl:


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## Talent312 (Jan 2, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> I buy food based on one criterion: distance from where it was produced to my front door.... That means I buy brussels sprouts in the winter...



With all due respect _(and at the risk of being contentious)_, brussels sprouts
are an abomination and should be served only to terrorists as a form of torture:

"Brussels sprouts? Wait, I'll tell you anything you want to know!"


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## Twinkstarr (Jan 2, 2012)

Talent312 said:


> With all due respect _(and at the risk of being contentious)_, brussels sprouts
> are an abomination and should be served only to terrorists as a form of torture.



Try roasting them, they taste totally different. I was never a fan of cauliflower, but came across a recipe for roasting it. WOW!


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## ScoopKona (Jan 2, 2012)

Talent312 said:


> With all due respect _(and at the risk of being contentious)_, brussels sprouts
> are an abomination and should be served only to terrorists as a form of torture:
> 
> "Brussels sprouts? Wait, I'll tell you anything you want to know!"



I LOVE 'em. Ate brussels sprouts every other day in England, but then again, Norfolk produces the best in the world. 

I prefer to sauté them in a little duck fat or goose fat to roasting them.


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## Icc5 (Jan 2, 2012)

*Bacon/Pearl Onions*



Talent312 said:


> With all due respect _(and at the risk of being contentious)_, brussels sprouts
> are an abomination and should be served only to terrorists as a form of torture:
> 
> "Brussels sprouts? Wait, I'll tell you anything you want to know!"



My son cuts up bacon and adds pearl onions cuts the sprouts in half and frys them.  All of us in the entire extended family love them and the non veg. eaters even love them.
Bart


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## pjrose (Jan 2, 2012)

*Brussels Sprouts*

I LOVE them when they are nice and fresh (i.e. bright green at the store, not brownish/yellowish) and preferably very small (cherry or olive size is ideal, though hard to come by). If we can't get the tiny ones but small-medium ones still look nice and bright and fresh, I cut them in half before cooking.  

Just wash, score the bottom with a knife, put in a microwave bowl with a tad of water, and nuke for maybe two minutes (three if they're a bit larger).

Drain, put on a bit of butter and salt, and yum.

I've also roasted and done the bacon/onion bit - also yum - but the really really fresh tiny ones need nothing other than a quick steaming.

I think the reason Brussels Sprouts get a bad rap is because they are so often oversized, old, and overcooked.  That's when they taste like old mushy bitter cabbage - yuck.

One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories is when we grew brussels sprouts in our garden but they never really matured - we had stalks covered with little cherry-sized ones - and we steamed them and added butter and salt as above.  My three year old gobbled his up, and liked them so much that everyone else at the table gave him theirs; he ate nothing else for dinner that night! 

And yes, my kids still eat them, and go for the teeny tiny baby ones.


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## sfwilshire (Jan 2, 2012)

Choose one day a week to spend time in the kitchen cooking a few things that can be reheated easily from the fridge or freezer. You make things you like and let DH make his weird chili.

On any given night, plan a nice meal of your choosing and if DH doesn't like the choices, he can retrieve the chili or other things he made. That's what we do with our teenagers. They haven't starved yet.

The suggestion to ask what he did or didn't like from each meal is a good one, but may just lead to more distress on your part.

Good luck!

Sheila


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## m61376 (Jan 2, 2012)

pjrose said:


> I think this was discussed on TUG a year or so ago.....try searching.....and I wouldn't be in the least surprised to find that the Scooper was the one writing about it!



Thanks!
I tried chicken cutlets in it last night with a simple spice rub. I have NEVER made chicken like that; the texture and moistness was amazing. I must say I am very impressed.
London broil is next- now to search for the right timing.....


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 3, 2012)

I had a pleasant surprise when I got home tonight - I worked really late and did not get home until 10 --- which happens every Monday before the first Tuesday so it is predictable. Ian had made homemade celery soup!

It was stunningly delicious. When I sat down to eat and told him how good it was - he said that he had used some techniques that he had learned from me  He said that he had carmelized the vegetables (which the recipe had not called for), tempered the cream before addiing it, and added a little marsala to deepen the flavor. I was shocked that he had been paying attention. 

Over the weekend, I made shrimp de jonghe with rice and broccoli. John and I were happy. (We have a small freezer and both the shrimp and the broccoli have been in there for awhile - Ian had asked me to try to use up some of the things in the freezer before doing anymore shopping). Ian made a sandwich. He said that he has been cooking for himself for so long it didn't bother him.

I offered to tell him what I have planned for dinner all week, and he passed. I don't get that, but I didn't let it hurt my feelings. I don't think that he has ever had anyone plan meals. And I have never NOT planned them. 

It turns out that one of the reasons that he doesn't like for me to cook is because I will buy groceries for a week and then not use the ingredients (I use all fresh produce and cook from scratch) that I have bought. I told him that was because he complained and insulted me so I just didn't cook. And that was how we ended up with old vegetables in the freezer. If he can keep from complaining, I can use the ingredients. 

And I bit my tongue to keep from telling him that I don't eat celery because it is so highly toxic. I just ate it and figured that I don't eat it that often, it probably won't hurt me. It was delicious - even if it wasn't organic and wasn't grown within 300 miles from here. 

I think that we are working our way to a happy compromise.

elaine


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## ScoopKona (Jan 3, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> And I bit my tongue to keep from telling him that I don't eat celery because it is so highly toxic. I just ate it and figured that I don't eat it that often, it probably won't hurt me. It was delicious - even if it wasn't organic and wasn't grown within 300 miles from here.



Celery isn't highly toxic. It has a compound called furocoumarin in it. (Looks awesome if you play it on a Scrabble board. But not very high scoring. But I digress.)

Furocoumarin in ridiculously high amounts can make people sensitive to sunlight. But it would take some SERIOUS CELERY-EATING EFFORT for the average person to see a reaction. 

Google it.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 3, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> Celery isn't highly toxic. It has a compound called furocoumarin in it. (Looks awesome if you play it on a Scrabble board. But not very high scoring. But I digress.)
> 
> Furocoumarin in ridiculously high amounts can make people sensitive to sunlight. But it would take some SERIOUS CELERY-EATING EFFORT for the average person to see a reaction.
> 
> Google it.



I miswrote (can that be a word if misspoke is?). It is not that celery itself is toxic, it is that conventionally grown celery has so much pesticide residue in it That information is based on this link.

I love celery, but I normally will only buy organically grown celery --- which doesn't look as pretty, but tastes much better. 

elaine


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## pjrose (Jan 3, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> I miswrote (can that be a word if misspoke is?). It is not that celery itself is toxic, it is that conventionally grown celery has so much pesticide residue in it . . .
> 
> . . .



That's the way I interpreted your comment.  I'll try to remember that when I shop for celery!


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## bjones9942 (Jan 3, 2012)

Since I don't care for celery, I prefer thinking of it as being inherently toxic.


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## pjrose (Jan 3, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> I had a pleasant surprise when I got home tonight - I worked really late and did not get home until 10 --- which happens every Monday before the first Tuesday so it is predictable. Ian had made homemade celery soup!
> 
> It was stunningly delicious. When I sat down to eat and told him how good it was - he said that he had used some techniques that he had learned from me  He said that he had carmelized the vegetables (which the recipe had not called for), tempered the cream before addiing it, and added a little marsala to deepen the flavor. I was shocked that he had been paying attention.
> 
> ...



The soup sounds wonderful; caramelizing the vegetables first is such a good idea, and I love marsala.   Yummmmm.  And I'm glad you are having some happy compromises!


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## Talent312 (Jan 3, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> I had a pleasant surprise when I got home tonight... Ian had made homemade celery soup!



This weekend, I made a large batch of Senate Navy Bean Soup.
Its actually quite simple, and my DW raved about it.

My secret ingredient: A modest amount of mashed potatoes
to thicken the broth and soften the seasonings.


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## MuranoJo (Jan 3, 2012)

Talent312 said:


> This weekend, I made a large batch of Senate Navy Bean Soup.
> Its actually quite simple, and my DW raved about it.
> 
> My secret ingredient: A modest amount of mashed potatoes
> to thicken the broth and soften the seasonings.



I love bean soups...all kinds.  Really, they are easy to make and very versatile, depending on your imagination.  And you can freeze portions for later dinners or lunches.  I've never tried thickening with mashed potatoes, though, so I'll have to give that a try.

Lentils seem to disintegrate and thicken the broth, or just take out a potato masher and smash some of the beans for thickening.

I also love to throw in some pearl barley for textural interest and additional fiber.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 3, 2012)

Elan said:


> I despise picky eaters (because I was raised to be appreciative of simply having food), and would ultimately tire of trying to appease someone who wasn't willing to be more open-minded.



This is the root of our problem. My parents married in their late teens and we were struggling for the first 12 years or so of my life. I know that I have what Ian calls "food uncertainty" --- it comes from actually being hungry, really hungry for a good part of my life. 



suesam said:


> I have always loved the idea of being organized and having a guideline to work off of but am very much into eating what I am in the mood for...not what my weekly menu says.
> 
> Sue



And I wish that I could cook more on the spur of the moment. I know that Ian and i would do better if I did not have this inherent need to plan.

Because my parents had to be very careful with our groceries, planning meals was always a weekly family activity. I do it not of necessity, but because I have absorbed that way of meal planning. And I am used to knowing what to be in the mood for because it is the next thing on the list!

The insights and shared attitudes have enabled me to be more open to Ian's way of thinking, even if I am still struggling with his implementation.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 4, 2012)

Twinkstarr said:


> I've been using pepperplate to organize my recipes. It will generate a shopping list that you can organize to your favorite stores layout. If I find a recipe everyone likes I put it into pepperplate.



This is a lifesaver! 

I have been using allrecipes.com to help - and it was helpful but soooo time consuming. I agree with the poster that said that too many of the recipes rely on canned soup. And on allrecipes, I could not use a recipe from a different site. So, what I had been doing was finding a similar recipe and using the "customize" feature, changing the recipe, generating the shopping list and then moving the "customized" ingredients into the appropriate categories. It was going through this laborious process that led me to do the first post.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 4, 2012)

MOXJO7282 said:


> I compliment her and rave to all my firends all the time because 9 out of 10 meals are just excellent. Sometimes I'll ask what's for dinner and she hasn't planned anything and I will jokingly give her a hard time because she is just so good at managing our meals its unusual when she doesn't have something planned. Most nights I don't even know what we're having and I just get a call down to my office dinners ready!!
> 
> As the sole breadwinner its very nice to know you have a partner who is doing her part and does it so well. Its also a major cost saver because if you don't plan ahead, especially as a family you end up spending a ton on take-out.



And y'all sound like a great couple! You are a blessed man.



stmartinfan said:


> Another part of food choices is our "values" around food.  I used to work for the food industry, and was part of a large research project we did around this issue.  For example, for me, food is "love," - making and serving meals for my family is one of the ways I show my love for them.  For many, food is "fuel" - they eat simply to stay alive with no real concern for how something tastes.  For others, food is "adventure" - it's a way to experience new things and explore the world.  There are other categories, but those are some of the easier to explain.  Of course, when family members have different values around food - conflict can occur.  If I'm about "love," I can feel hurt when someone who's about "fuel" doesn't notice or care about the effort I put into making a special meal!



So much wisdom in this post. It has really helped to give me the insight into what was really going on with me. There is a fundamental conflict in how we view food. He has no "love" component to food. It is about 90% of my food-view. The other 10% is "adventure." Ian is all about "fuel."

So, anytime that he was critical of my cooking, I felt personally rejected. 

And to make matters worse, it was an issue I never had with my first husband. And I am so about love, the two/three times that he ever said anything critical, I can remember almost word for word. "Honey, can you please make something that doesn't have tomatoes in it?" --- about 3 months of marriage. 

First mother-in-law called me after we had been married a little longer than the first critique, and told me that she had a great recipe for me to make for 1H. And went onto give me a recipe that I would have NEVER chosen to make. It had orange jello, broccoli and cauliflour and some other ingredients that I don't remember. 1H came home and I served this. He looked at me strangely and said, "where did you get this recipe?" --- I told him it was from his mother, she thought that he would love it. He said, "please don't do that again. You are a much better cook than she is." And the third time was when I made a chicken dish that had dijon mustard and parmesan cheese in it. 1H said, "it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you never made that again." So i didn't. Seventeen years of marriage and 3 very mild criticisms. 

Having been raised in a home where we were very grateful for the food that we had, I never heard anyone criticize a meal EVER, it was shocking to find that I had married a man that criticized something about every single meal that I made. I really felt really rejected. 

Coming from his background where people, even children, were encouraged to speak their mind, he felt like he was just being honest. He didn't think that he was rejecting me. 

Because my feelings were so raw, I had been unable to talk to him about it. About 2 years ago, I had tried cooking again for the first time in many months, Ian sat down at his place, took a big sniff and said, "this doesn't smell fresh." I picked up my plate, got up from the table and went to my room to eat. I told him as I was leaving that I would try again in 6 months. 

Ian has a really low EQ. He never did understand what was going on.

The difference between us was such a wide chasm, we didn't have the ability to reach across it.  

This thread has really helped me figure out what was going on and different things to try to fix it. 

Thanks you guys --- this has been terrifically helpful.

elaine


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## pjrose (Jan 4, 2012)

Wow, this thread has really evolved far beyond meal planning, hasn't it! 

StMartinFan's insights about how we view food, and Elaine's about how she and Ian view food and comments differently, and the points raised by those with kids with Autism, have given this a depth I wouldn't have imagined.  

Our family includes people with quite different food views, and this thread has helped me see and understand those views and not take their different views personally.  I thank you for the insights!

PJ


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## Elan (Jan 4, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> This is the root of our problem. My parents married in their late teens and we were struggling for the first 12 years or so of my life. I know that I have what Ian calls "food uncertainty" --- it comes from actually being hungry, really hungry for a good part of my life.



  I should clarify that I've never wanted for food in my life.  But my parents shared numerous stories with me and my siblings of others that weren't so fortunate and thus impressed upon me how food shouldn't be taken for granted.  

  My own kids are as spoiled as most, but if they start bitching about what they are about to eat they get reminded that there are kids elsewhere who eat the equivalent of a cup or two of grain every few days.  While I often enjoy playing "short order chef", cooking each of them something different for a given meal, I also have no problem yanking their plate out from under their noses while informing them that they're done eating for the evening when they aren't appreciative of what they have.  I don't anticipate any of them being picky eaters as adults.


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## ScoopKona (Jan 4, 2012)

Talent312 said:


> This weekend, I made a large batch of Senate Navy Bean Soup.
> Its actually quite simple, and my DW raved about it.
> 
> My secret ingredient: A modest amount of mashed potatoes
> to thicken the broth and soften the seasonings.



Try tapioca starch next time. It will be even better.

Every pantry should include arrowroot (for thickening acidic sauces), cornstarch (for dairy sauces and Asian sauces)* and tapioca starch (for everything else). 


* But never freeze anything thickened with cornstarch, it gets gummy.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 8, 2012)

*An update*

We made it through the week with only a few scratches, no battle scars.

We have worked out a routine that is working pretty well for us. Instead of planning 7 days of meals, I am planning 3. It meets my need for planning and Ian's need for freshness. And both of us have an aversion to wasting food. 

John, my 24 year old adult bonus son who lives with us, is doing the shopping. He does not work full-time so it is not an imposition to him. Because we are planning for 3 days, if I cannot get away from work to cook, the food does not go to waste and it is not too old to cook, either. John gets to buy his snacks on my dime. And I am not too tired from shopping to cook. That part has been working really well.

One of my realizations is that I am too sensitive. 

When I came home after one of John's shopping days, I was looking in the cabinets to see what we have. John had bought "Soba Sauce" --- in ingredient that I am not familiar with. I asked him if he had also bought the soba noodles that were on the list. He assured me that he had. And Ian spouts out, "We already have soba noodles" in an irritated voice. And I reacted like he had lit a really short fuse. 

We got into an argument. I felt like I was was being criticized. He felt like he was just making an observation. This argument revealed all kinds of underlying assumptions.

Thanks to this thread, I was already more congizant of some of my beliefs surrounding this issue, so we were able to work through some of them fairly quickly. 

And I discovered that in addition to having the differences in how we emotionally relate to food, we also have differences in what it is acceptable to be critical about. 

My ideology is justice. Ian's is truth. Almost all of the time, our ideologies result in agreement. There are rare times when they conflict. We knew of this conflict from our pre-marital counseling. (One of the smartest things that we did before our marriage was to have an industrial psychologist do an evaluation on us to see if we "meshed" well. We had already discovered the truth versus justice conflict, but it was verified by the testing. The other thing that we discovered was that Ian is highly analytical and he is results oriented. I, on the other hand, am activity oriented).

Our food history is one of the areas of conflict. While we were dating, Ian cooked wonderful meals for me. In particular he made a lemon chicken that was out of this world. And he also made roasted or broiled chicken and vegetables which is my "go to" meal. I did not notice at the time that he would not normally eat chicken when he made it for me. He ate ahead of time. So, when he told me that he would do the cooking when we married, I thought that he would continue to cook as he had while we were dating. I didn't ask him details. It was an assumption. He believes that he was truthful. He was willing to cook. I believe that he was not fair because what he had done was misleading, even if there was no lying involved. 

When Ian shops, he will buy things in bulk. He has cases of canned fruits and vegetables. When I shop (or have John shop for me), I try to buy just what we will use that week. Neither of us takes careful inventory of what we have in the way of shelf stable food. 

So, our revelation for this week is a difference in our underlying mindset. For some reason, Ian thinks that if I buy one more of something that we already have one of, that it it wasteful. He considers it a "duplicate." But when he buys a case of something, that is not a duplicate. I think that it is hypocritical. I told him that his duplicates were not superior to my duplicates. And that he expected a standard of perfection that I could not meet and would not aspire to. So he can accept the imperfection that I will sometimes buy more than we need of something in exchange for me cooking. 

Then there was the the time that I made dinner and he went to bed instead of eating. And then got up after dinner and wanted to know if we had left any for him. 

And the time that he told me he didn't like the white balsamic vinaigrette that I had bought, but used it all up. 

Other than the one major conflict and two other times that I was just annoyed, we did well. And I am still cooking.

elaine


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 18, 2012)

I have discovered a couple of really good recipes. This pot roast is wonderful. I have been starting it on Saturday and we have had it for Sunday lunch. I make about an 8 pound roast and Ian eats the leftovers (he really likes leftovers - who knew!) when he doesn't like what I have made. Or when dinner isn't ready when he is hungry. 

I made a Thai Beef Salad - that was really hot. Loved the recipe - the dressing had a great balance to it (Sweet, salty, spicy), but I think that I will cut the number of hot peppers from 10 to 2 next time that I make it. I made a coconut sweet potato soup to go with it. 

And this fish recipe was wonderful. I made a garlic linguine to go with it. Next time, I will just double the sauce for the fish and use it on pasta. Ian, who doesn't care much for fish loved this. John and I loved it, too. A simple green salad was perfect with this. 

I am enjoying this more and more. Ian says that he is getting spoiled. 

elaine


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## geekette (Jan 18, 2012)

what an interesting thread!  I don't plan meals much so hadn't visited.

I agree that people have different relationships with food.  mom is a sublimator, and craves luxury in all forms, including food.  We ate a lot of casseroles growing up for economy and convenience (we were athletes, no one on the same schedule).  But if we were near a coast, SEAFOOD!  mom is a very good cook, can wing it well.  I picked up plenty of that from her, I will experiment, not freaked out to not have a recipe.  

She insisted that we try everything, but would not let us leave the table until everything on our plates was eaten.  This caused "food issues" for my sister and I , and also caused some dishonesty in me (hiding the food in the trash,etc, "sure, I ate it ..."). Young children shouldn't be stuck at the dinner table by themselves in an empty kitchen with food they don't want/will not eat past 9 pm.  A 6 yo belongs in bed by then vs dozing at the table.  Being punished for not wanting to eat any more was ridiculous.  Please don't anybody do this with your children.  It can create a very unhealthy relationship with food.  

Mom's own food issues were mostly caused by her grandmother.  Gran would apparently cook tons of wonderful smelling food and delight in telling my mother that she could have none of it.  So now, mom can't have a scoop of ice cream, no, she must have a heaping bowlful.  portion control for her is non-existent.  

Nor should adults feel compelled to eat Everything.  Not a fan of waste, but, when you are full you shoudl stop eating.  Portion size in restaurants has gotten out of control, imo.  this is what the doggie bag is for.

xdh was diabetic, it was simply fuel to him.  rarely a complaint since there was no way he would cook anything.  he would generally tell me if he didn't like something but I don't consider that criticism.  It's helpful feedback so I don't make it again thinking he liked it the first time.  It's not a personal attack.    boyfriend cooks (mostly REALLY WELL), he's into the adventure aspects.  

me, I'm a bit all of the above.  

Interesting how something as regular and routine as eating can create so much conflict and introspection.  Glad it's getting worked out!

Planning for me is much like PJ ("you hungry?  me, too.  what should we do about it?")   but I sometimes get 'a hankering.'  For example, French Onion Soup is comign soon (this weekend?  maybe).  Taco salad, also, probably next week.  In the winter, I cook more, as I like soups A LOT.  Paired with homemade bread, I'm a happy girl.   In the mornign I will likely toss chicken drummettes into the crock pot with barbeque sauce.  Haven't done that before, but found em in the freezer and that's what I decided to do with em.  Doesn't have to be a gourmet feast or require "slaving" every time.

One thing that boyfriend and I share is a desire to use the leftovers.  If it doesn't turn out to be lunch, then it goes into something else.  Last night we stretched a can of steak and bean chili with leftover chicken, leftover black beans, leftover tomato sauce and leftover pasta.  We are digging the economy and he's not so perplexed by my Costco ways anymore and likes havign a case of whatever on hand to count on.  

One thing I would say is that it isn't waste to have more than one.  It's only waste if it goes unused and spoils.  Buying by the case also makes it so easy to get together a bag of canned goods for whatever food drive comes along.   I give more because I have more and each canned item cost me so little. 

Boyfriend does most of the cooking, which is fine by me.  The times I've made him some of my favorites, he was very happy with them.  I've yet to criticize anything he makes but some, eh, not so wonderful.  I simply don't rave about those.  Since most everything is a one-time experiment, I'm not likely to see that dish again so refrain from criticism.  Sometimes, for me, it's simply sustenance and anythign will do (well, not Long John Silver's, and not lima beans).

Life is short, I won't fight about food.


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## JudyH (Jan 18, 2012)

I love this whole thread.  It makes me think about so much.  I have worked late 2-4 nights per week for years.  DH will cook breakfast, but nothing else.  He has no sense of cooking, I really don't want him to cook.  But I won't eat or  cook late, so on my late nights he has left overs or pizza several nights in a row.  I am happy with yogurt or cereal late at night, not him.

I found a little crockpot cookbook near the checkout stand at the grocery store.  It looked pretty good, so I am leaving it in the car, then I can stop at the store, take it in with me, and get the exact ingredients I need.  Half the time I don't have them at home, don't feel like going to the store, DH doesn't drive (or grocery shop), so I don't fix meals when I could.  We eat out a lot.

I am retiring next year and definately planning on cooking more.  I am actually a good cook, I just don't spend the time.  I saw an interesting book "Mr. Sunday's Soups" that just came out and I plan on getting that and keeping it in the car.  Got to watch the carbs when I retire, not too much bread and sandwiches, and I AM NOT cooking three meals a day, so the crockpot and soups for lunch sound like a good idea.

For me, leaving recipes in the car sounds like a good idea, I can make copies and keep them in a folder in the car and house.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 18, 2012)

geekette said:


> She insisted that we try everything, *but would not let us leave the tab*le until everything on our plates was eaten.  ...Young children shouldn't be stuck at the dinner table by themselves in an empty kitchen with food they don't want/will not eat past 9 pm.  A 6 yo belongs in bed by then vs dozing at the table.  Being punished for not wanting to eat any more was ridiculous.  *Please don't anybody do this with your children.  It can create a very unhealthy relationship with food.
> *
> 
> *Life is short, I won't fight about food*.



It is a real revelation how much my food history has affected me. I was one of those children that was required to sit at the table until all the food was eaten, also. Horrible training.

I agree that it is not worth fighting about food. But to avoid fighting, I just wouldn't cook. It is really nice that we are both getting more amenable to the other.

My husband needs lots of praise for not criticizing me ... and I am willing to praise him for holding his tongue and I am just finding it amusing. That is a major improvement for both of us.

And, with the help of this thread, I am getting less sensitive. One of the thins that you pointed out (want to know if he doesn't like something so that I won't make that again) has helped. Now, I am going to start encouraging him to let me know if he doesn't like something. ... And I will see if I can take it as an observation rather than a criticism.

It is a work in progress.

elaine


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 18, 2012)

JudyH said:


> I love this whole thread.



Me too!



> I found a little crockpot cookbook near the checkout stand at the grocery store.  It looked pretty good, so I am leaving it in the car, then I can stop at the store, take it in with me, and get the exact ingredients I need.



This is a great idea!

elaine


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## geekette (Jan 19, 2012)

at first thought, keeping recipes in the car doesn't sound right, but it's GENIUS!  While I generally have an excellent memory, and sometimes borderline photographic, there is nothing worse than finally returning home to make the big meal and seeing that one crucial ingredient not bought.  

excellent idea!


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## geekette (Jan 19, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> It is a real revelation how much my food history has affected me. I was one of those children that was required to sit at the table until all the food was eaten, also. Horrible training.
> 
> I agree that it is not worth fighting about food. But to avoid fighting, I just wouldn't cook. It is really nice that we are both getting more amenable to the other.
> 
> ...



Work in progress, indeed, BUT, you are both making progress!!!    

Yeah, weird how stuff from childhood sticks around long past childhood.  It's not always easy to determine why we are the way we are, but once discovered, we can change.  Humans are wonderful at change, when they want to be.  And you are both doing that, accomodating each other.  To a large extent,this isn't about food at all.  It's about handling a basic need (food) in a way that will work for both of you.  Compromise.  Necessary in every relationship.  

Yes, less sensitive.  The food you prepare is no reflection on your worth as a woman, a human, a chef.  It is simply that days effort.  Create a sense of separation between you and the dish.  You are not a less good person if tonight's meal isn't stellar.  You also aren't Woman Of The Year if tonight's dish is SUPERB.  It simply doesn't matter to the Big Picture.  You are loveable independent of the next meal's critique.

That you are taking into account preferences is commendable, and necessary.  But that doesn't mean that you can't branch out and cook something just because YOU find it interesting or it sounds like fun to make. To me, cooking should be FUN sometimes.  Other times, slap out a sandwich and I'm thrilled.  Each meal is not make or break. Not for your culinary skills, not for your character, not for your relationship.  It's one meal in a lifetime of eating.  Small potatoes.

In the case of trying something new, there is risk.  Accept it, embrace it, and don't concern yourself with someone not liking it.  I would be offended if it wasn't even tasted, but I'd get over it quickly, and be thrilled if it was yummy and there was More For ME!   

Sure, you planned, labored, created, it is a product of your making.  But perfection should not be the goal because it's an unreasonable expectation of yourself.  And food is soooo subjective!  What tastes great to you could be simply icky to another.  

For me, it has been boiling down to "how wonderful that he wants to cook for me!" with taste a far second thought.  In my situation, it seems an expression of love that he wants to cook for me.  We are having fun figuring out what to do with leftovers and aren't consulting recipes much at all.  In which case, we can expect some hits and certainly plenty of misses.

Food is occupying a large role for us, larger than it's been for me in the past, but it's fun to have someone that wants to make it more than sustenance, wants to Create.  

I even got him watchign Top Chef last night ; )


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## MuranoJo (Jan 20, 2012)

Geekette,
I sometimes watch the cooking channels on weekend mornings during breakfast or whenever and usually see something that looks interesting, check out the recipe on their website, and try it out within the week.

We've found some great recipes this way. And usually when I get to foodnetwork.com or wherever I start poking around and find other interesting ideas.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 20, 2012)

geekette said:


> Yes, less sensitive.  The food you prepare is no reflection on your worth as a woman, a human, a chef.  It is simply that days effort.  Create a sense of separation between you and the dish.  You are not a less good person if tonight's meal isn't stellar.  You also aren't Woman Of The Year if tonight's dish is SUPERB.  It simply doesn't matter to the Big Picture.  You are loveable independent of the next meal's critique.



These are such WISE words!

elaine


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## Jestjoan (Jan 20, 2012)

*recipe site*

http://www.justapinch.com/

I found this site from a Facebook ad. Not much gluten, soy and dairy free, however. :-(


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## ciscogizmo1 (Jan 20, 2012)

*q*

I have a note book that is book sized that I use for all my recipe planning.  Usually, starting on Friday I start planning my weekly menus.   I shop on Mondays for the entire week.  Anyways, I love cooking and collecting recipes so I have a ton that I rotate through.   Anyways, I look at the ingredients that the recipe needs and make a list.  Then, I go through my cabinets and cross off the ingredients I already have.  I don't like going to the grocery store more than once a week.  I usually do Costco once a month and the grocery store weekly.  Here's a typical menu for the week:

Meal #1:  Lime Marinated Chicken BBQ with Rice and Stir-fried Asparagus (Weight Watcher recipe)
Meal #2:  Turkey Sausage Meatloaf with Mash Potatoes & Green Beans (Weight Watcher Recipe)
Meal #3:  Korean Beef Tacos with Rice and beans on the side (A Year of Slow Cooking Blog)
Meal #4:  Pork Chops with Applesauce, Pasta and zucchini (Skinny Taste Blog)
Meal #5: Chicken Taco Chili (Skinny Taste Blog)
Meal #6: Homemade Mac and Cheese  (Fine Cooking Magazine Feb/Mar 2012)
Meal #7: Vietnamese Shaking beef with Rice

Snack #1:  Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins (The Frugal Girl Blog)
Snack #2: Whole-Grain Toffee Scones (Weight Watcher Recipe)
Snack #3: Crock Pot Applesauce (Skinny Taste Recipe)

I still have kids so I have to make kid friendly type menus.  There is a blog out there http://orgjunkie.com/2012/01/menu-plan-monday-jan-1612.html called I'm an Organized Junkie.  Anyways, every Monday she posts her menu for the week and other people post their menus as well.  All leftovers are for lunch the next day.   I'm like others in that I'm not a short order cook and if you don't like what I'm serving you can make your own dinner like PB&J.  I usually have one kid friendly meal a week that is loaded with carbs and fat.  Usually on Friday night.  I do not partake in that meal as I'm on a diet but I try not to be too selfish and fix only things I like.  It does help I'm a good cook and I enjoy cooking.  Finally, I cook for the season. We were having unusually warm weather here in CA so a few weeks ago when I planned the menu above I  made BBQ chicken. But in the winters I use my crockpot twice a week and make mostly oven type food.  In the summer I stick to the BBQ.

Anyways, I highly recommend these sites for recipe ideas:

http://www.skinnytaste.com/
http://www.recipegirl.com/

Plus, I use my Weight Watcher cookbooks from Oxmoorhouse.com they are great and really teach about portion control.  I also make special meals with recipes from Cooks Illustrated and Fine Cooking Magazine are my favorites.   I have two 3 inch binders with clear holders in them.  I use one binder to hold recipes I want to try.  So, I either print out recipes from the internet or I rip out recipes from the magazines.  I put them in the TRY IT binder.  Then, once we have tried the item it either graduates to the KEEP IT binder or the trash.  

I'm all about variety.  I could not live on Chili everyday.   My husband loves my food which helps alot.  My kids kind do and don't.  They have their favorites.  The could live off pasta and pizza but that really wouldn't be teaching them about healthy eating.  

Good luck!!!


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## bjones9942 (Jan 20, 2012)

ciscogizmo1 - Wow!  What a lot of very good information!  Thanks!


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## geekette (Jan 20, 2012)

bjones9942 said:


> ciscogizmo1 - Wow!  What a lot of very good information!  Thanks!



big ditto!!!


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 22, 2012)

geekette said:


> big ditto!!!



+1 MORE - I had not found any of those websites before.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jan 22, 2012)

I had been using evernote to manage new recipes that I want to try until twinkstarr mentioned pepperplate. I now use pepperplate to store all of my recipes. 

elaine


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## dmharris (Jan 29, 2012)

Hi Elaine,

This came through my e-mail today in the form of a Groupon:  http://www.groupon.com/deals/e-meal...=11086487&division=pittsburgh&utm_source=news

I haven't studied it, but it seems like it's an on-line tool for meal planning.


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## ampaholic (Jan 29, 2012)

Here is a free one:

Softpedia


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## pjrose (Jan 29, 2012)

dmharris's post about the Groupon reminded me of a Groupon I just bought with a friend. It's for a service where we pick our choices from a list of weekly meals, and then get together with others and chop/mix/cook the provided ingredients to produce an assortment of meals.  Each has six servings, and I think that what we bring home will be ready to pop in the freezer.  We haven't done it yet, but it sounds like fun!

The one here is called http://www.EatNowEatLater.com but that's a local service; there are others.


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## ace2000 (Jan 30, 2012)

dmharris said:


> Hi Elaine,
> 
> This came through my e-mail today in the form of a Groupon:  http://www.groupon.com/deals/e-meal...=11086487&division=pittsburgh&utm_source=news
> 
> I haven't studied it, but it seems like it's an on-line tool for meal planning.


 
I've mentioned e-mealz on TUG a couple of times.  It's recommened by Dave Ramsey, the financial expert.  I purchased it last year, and we got so busy last semester, we let the subscription lapse.

I think the plan is great!  I'm not sure it's worth $5 a month, but I took advantage of this offer for half price.  It's definitely worth that for me.  Thanks!


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## glypnirsgirl (Feb 7, 2012)

pjrose said:


> dmharris's post about the Groupon reminded me of a Groupon I just bought with a friend. It's for a service where we pick our choices from a list of weekly meals, and then get together with others and chop/mix/cook the provided ingredients to produce an assortment of meals.  Each has six servings, and I think that what we bring home will be ready to pop in the freezer.  We haven't done it yet, but it sounds like fun!
> 
> The one here is called http://www.EatNowEatLater.com but that's a local service; there are others.



Jordan (my son) and I used to do this together every Saturday. We did it for months when he first moved out and he was learning to cook. It is a great concept. The one that we did was called Dream Dinners. 

It is fun!

elaine


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## glypnirsgirl (Feb 7, 2012)

ace2000 said:


> I've mentioned e-mealz on TUG a couple of times.  It's recommened by Dave Ramsey, the financial expert.  I purchased it last year, and we got so busy last semester, we let the subscription lapse.
> 
> I think the plan is great!  I'm not sure it's worth $5 a month, but I took advantage of this offer for half price.  It's definitely worth that for me.  Thanks!



It is the $5 per month that I am having a hard time wrapping my head around. I understand that there are coupon savings that offset the $5 --- I just rarely use coupons for how I cook. There are never any coupons for broccoli and oranges. 

Regardless of that pre-conception, I am tempted to try it even if it is only for one month.

elaine


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## glypnirsgirl (Feb 7, 2012)

*Helpful hints*

I have been using pepperplate for my meal planning and shopping list. 

One of the things that I love about the site is the ability to make your own categories. 

I am always trying to balance flavors over the week and within the meal. To help with that I have added the following categories: Mexican, Asian, Italian, French, Mediterranean, American, classic, creamy, zesty, spicy, citrus, tomato, And then the main ingredients: beef, pork, chicken, fish, vegetarian, pasta, rice, I also have a category that I call "staples" which does not require any special ingredients.

The vegetables I have divided by color: green, yellow/orange (yo), red.

For side dishes that are rice, pasta, potatoes, I use "starch" to make them easier to find.

I had noticed from ciscogizmo1's example that she also balanced flavors and cuisines over the week. And I really liked the way that she had done it. So I have been trying to emulate that. 

I am continuing to plan 3 main meals at a time. I frequently do not make it home in time to cook dinner the night that I had planned and this avoids wasting fresh ingredients. Then I use the recipes that I have marked "staples" to complete the week.

elaine


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## glypnirsgirl (Feb 19, 2012)

*Targeting by Target*

Last night, I opened up a mailer from Kroger for "personalized coupons." I rarely bother with coupons because stores don't normally offer coupons on the things that I buy. WRONG! The only coupon in the bunch that I probably won't use is for a Kashi pre-made meal. 

The other coupons are absolutely things that I use: Silk (soy milk), almond breeze (nut milk), sour cream, yoghurt, orange juice, eggs. Amazing. And it kind of creeped me out. 

Then this morning on yahoo, I found this article about Target targetting shoppers: HOW TARGET FIGURED OUT A TEENAGER WAS PREGNANT BEFORE HER FATHER DID.  

it is one thing for Kroger to know what I am buying, at least they aren't sending me coupons for the next stage in my life.

elaine


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## heathpack (Feb 19, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> Then this morning on yahoo, I found this article about Target targetting shoppers: HOW TARGET FIGURED OUT A TEENAGER WAS PREGNANT BEFORE HER FATHER DID.
> 
> it is one thing for Kroger to know what I am buying, at least they aren't sending me coupons for the next stage in my life.
> 
> elaine



LOVE this article.  I wonder what Targert will make of yesterday's purchase: 1. 3 bananas, 2. a package of plastic containers (9.5 ounce), 3. a bottle of Shout?

I have a small household, carry my lunch every day, plan on eating yogurt with bananas this week, am afraid I'll spill on my lab coat?

H


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## pjrose (Feb 19, 2012)

heathpack said:


> LOVE this article.  I wonder what Targert will make of yesterday's purchase: 1. 3 bananas, 2. a package of plastic containers (9.5 ounce), 3. a bottle of Shout?
> 
> I have a small household, carry my lunch every day, plan on eating yogurt with bananas this week, am afraid I'll spill on my lab coat?
> 
> H



Good analysis :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:


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## glypnirsgirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Those coupons creeped me out so much that I haven't been back to Kroger to use them. Instead, I drove 45 minutes to get to Costco to get there right after it closed. I went to a store I am not familiar with. It took me 1 hr and 45 minutes to buy 53 items. And I didn't buy the things that I got the coupons from Kroger for even though I needed some of them. It seemed silly to not use the coupons. And then it seemed even sillier to have wasted about 3 hours not going to the store that is less than 1/2 mile from my house.

From this adventure, I have concluded that I have a problem. 

elaine


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## Passepartout (Feb 20, 2012)

I do the grocery shopping here, and got the Kroger personalized coupons last week. I'm not a big coupon shopper, but out of (I think) 16-20 coupons, only 3-4 are not usable for stuff I buy. Amazing! That and $.10 off gas for every $100 shopping (and more for 'script refills) usually gets me both cars filled once a month for under $2.20/gal.

I know they are data mining and know my habits and expenditures, but at least they pay me for the privilege.

Jim


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## talkamotta (Feb 23, 2012)

I raised 5 kids that were into all kinds of sports, church, scouts.  So I learned to make 30 minute meals alot.  

Fiance' Jeff's first wife was a stay at home mom and learned how to cook from scratch.  Jeff paid some attention so when she died of cancer and he retired he started cooking.  Good for him  and GREAT FOR ME.  

Jeff cooks most of the time.  Im not a picky eater at all.  He even likes to do the shopping.  Gets out all the ads and finds the best deals.  When I go over there after I get off work he even has glasses in the freezer for my beer.  Frosted mug.     

I just hope this lasts when we get married and we move in together.


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## pjrose (Feb 23, 2012)

talkamotta said:


> I raised 5 kids that were into all kinds of sports, church, scouts.  So I learned to make 30 minute meals alot.
> 
> Fiance' Jeff's first wife was a stay at home mom and learned how to cook from scratch.  Jeff paid some attention so when she died of cancer and he retired he started cooking.  Good for him  and GREAT FOR ME.
> 
> ...



Wow!  Write it up in a prenup!


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## glypnirsgirl (Apr 15, 2012)

*Tomorrow is 6 months that I have been cooking*

We have managed to get this worked out. And alot of that is due to the insight I gained from this thread. It is AMAZING! This has been one of the few sore spots in our marriage since the beginning.

I am still planning in 3 day increments. That is keeping our produce much fresher and we have very little waste. I do the grocery shopping and cooking and Ian is doing the dishes. 

(one of the insights that I have gained from the times that we shop together is that Ian has no idea how to choose produce. The only thing he knew how to do is to avoid things with bad spots. My grandmother (who grew up on a farm in Louisiana) took us to the farmer's market alot when I was growing up --- she really knew how to choose fruits and vegetables.

I am using the notebook idea when I find especially good meal combinations and a really good recipe. I am using several websites: Sonomadiet (great food that is really healthy), Epicurious, Allrecipes and Pepperplate (where I love to save my recipes to). I am using my Weight Watchers 30 minutes or less cookbook and the Cook's Illustrated Best Recipes in 30 minutes or less.

I buy wine, frozen fish and organic chicken breasts at Costco. I also buy nitrite/nitrate free cold cuts there. I have learned not to buy our produce there. The sizes are too big for our family of 3.

I have had some failures, but remarkably few. Tonight, I made pork chops with a lemon, ginger and fig compote that I got from Epicurious. It wasn't too good.

I have found come really good meals: halibut with wine and capers (I double the amount of sauce and use it for whole wheat pasta) that recipe is on Allrecipes. Also from Allrecipes the Many Meals Pot Roast. Cider braised pork chops and Quick Chicken Fricassee from America's Test Kitchen. Red cabbage and apple salad from about.com (no one else in the house likes this one). And one of my favorites that is SO EASY: miso maple glazed salmon. That recipe is from a video food blog called foodwishes.com. John liked the salmon so much he asked for it for his birthday dinner.

I am still usually getting 2 vegetarian meals in per week. One night it is usually brown beans made in the crockpot with cornbread and a salad. The other vegetarian night I will make something a little more challenging. Ace2000 share some of his recipes with me and they are great (thanks, Scott). My favorite is spaghetti with pesto, walnuts, mushrooms and  spinach.

I normally just steam a green vegetable or make a salad for an accompaniment --- this is one of the changes that I made to get dinner on the table quicker. I had been doing fairly elaborate vegetables as well as an entree from scratch --- that was too much work for a week night. 

Ian can tell me when he doesn't like something without me getting upset. 

This is much better! Thanks for your help!

elaine


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## ScoopKona (Apr 15, 2012)

It would do my heart good if people would try to cook without recipes.

1) Learn how to braise things. I cannot stress this enough. Learn how to braise. You can braise almost anything and it will be yummy. And you can buy the cheap cuts of meat (but Select still sucks -- cheap cuts of Choice, please) and braise them and they'll be fall-apart tender and unctuous.

2) Shop SEASONALLY. Do not decide "I'll make clams tomorrow," and then discover that clams aren't in season. You'll pay too much and the meal will suck. Buy asparagus in the spring, corn in the summer, carrots and potatoes in the fall, and all will be right with the world. Learn when things are harvested locally and then use them immediately. Grow your own food. If you can't grow your own, at least have a window-still herb garden. Nothing tastes better than the food you grow. Nothing.

3) Learn about beef grading. Seriously. Learn it. From best to worst, it's USDA Prime, USDA Choice, USDA Select, and then dog food. Most megamart beef is Select. If it isn't conspicuously graded, it's probably Select. Why bother? Prime for rare applications. Choice for everything else. Let the rubes buy Select.

4) Poultry. The big-name industrial chickens are sickening. They're likely infected with campylobacter and salmonella. Yuck. Buy kosher or Buddhist-raised chickens. For one, they actually taste like chicken. Not some tasteless lily-white petri dish.

5) Fish and shellfish. It shouldn't smell like anything. Eyes should be clear and bright. There shouldn't be any unusual spots.  If you aren't within a few hours drive of an ocean, it's probably best to buy frozen seafood.


And then, once you have really good ingredients, don't muck with them too much. Throw out the recipes and learn techniques instead. A recipe teaches how to make ONE dish. A technique teaches how to make hundreds. I could sauté a different dish every day for a year, and nobody would get tired of sautéed food. (Learning a little French wouldn't hurt. "Sauté" means "jump." If the food isn't jumping around on it's own in the lightly-oiled pan, it isn't sautéed. It's fried.)


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## amycurl (Apr 15, 2012)

My meal-planning challenge will be coming up next month. We've very active in a local CSA (Community-Supported Agriculture) and we'll start getting deliveries soon. This really helps our budget and our waistlines, as it somewhat forces us to eat home more and eat more fresh veggies. I'm also a big believer in our fantastic local Farmer's Market, where I've started to buy almost all of my meat and eggs. I'm still a big Costco fan, but I'm not buying as much as I once was (we're, too, a family of three.)

When it comes to fish, sometimes fishermen show up at the market in the summer (we're about three hours from the coast.) Otherwise, I get frozen at Costco, and use the Moneterray (sp?) Aquarium guide to make sure I'm purchasing sustainable fish. 

I rely on Epicurious to make sure I know what I'm doing with all my CSA veggies, plus a few cookbooks gotten through the CSA. 

We purchased a small, stand-alone freezer for the first time, so that we'll make sure not to have veggie waste. (We did install a "food digester"--composter-like-cone--last summer, so at least the veggies that went bad went back into the soil.)


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## pjrose (Apr 15, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> It would do my heart good if people would try to cook without recipes.
> 
> . . .



I agree.  I'm a method cook, not a recipe cook.  have a zillion cookbooks and subscribe to Cooking Light, but just use those for ideas - some ingredients that I don't generally put in ABC, or a different method than I generally use for cooking DEF.  Or if I want to make something I haven't made before, I'll check a bunch of cookbooks for their ingredients/methods, so I'll have a rough guide.   

For some dishes that I repeat, l'll take notes on ingredients, their rough measurements, and successes/failures - too much liquid: use less next time; use thyme next time, etc. 

To cook, I need certain ingredients and equipment and a good heat source, but I could get rid of all the cookbooks and magazines and recipes.  

Scoop, what happened to the "Good" label on beef?  Did that become "Select"?  I thought most of the grocery stores were selling "Choice"....I'll have to ask sometime if mine is selling Select instead.


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## ScoopKona (Apr 15, 2012)

pjrose said:


> Scoop, what happened to the "Good" label on beef?  Did that become "Select"?  I thought most of the grocery stores were selling "Choice"....I'll have to ask sometime if mine is selling Select instead.



That was awhile ago. I was going to respond "There is no USDA Good" but I googled up a USDA grading pamphlet from the 1960s that has USDA Good where Select is now.

The rule is, if there's no USDA grade listed, it's probably Select. It's certainly not Choice.

One of the main reasons I only buy Prime (and sometimes Choice) is that better quality meat comes from happier cattle. I buy all my beef from a ranch a couple hours drive from my house that only sells Choice and Prime. The cattle looked content and happy last time I was there. Compare that to a CAFO. I'd quit eating beef if that's all I could buy.


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## glypnirsgirl (Apr 15, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> One of the main reasons I only buy Prime (and sometimes Choice) is that better quality meat comes from happier cattle. I buy all my beef from a ranch a couple hours drive from my house that only sells Choice and Prime. The cattle looked content and happy last time I was there. Compare that to a CAFO. I'd quit eating beef if that's all I could buy.



Scoop, in large part because of your posts, we have resurrected the practice of buying grass fed beef from a local rancher. 

He has a wonderful, sustainable, organic method for his ranch, similar to the Joel Salatin rotational method. Including using chickens to spread the natural fertilizer and remove pests.

I still have not developed a taste for grass-fed beef as a steak. By using braising for swiss steak and pot roasts, I can still make a tasty meal. 

The chicken raised on Rehoboth Ranch is a marvel of flavor and texture. Simple roasting on these chickens is delicious --- a huge difference from grocery store chicken.

And for others that might be reading this thread, eatwild is a great resource for finding a local producer. 

Bon Appetit!
elaine


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## ScoopKona (Apr 15, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> I still have not developed a taste for grass-fed beef as a steak. By using braising for swiss steak and pot roasts, I can still make a tasty meal.



Try poaching the steaks in butter at low temperatures. Like 120f (if you can hold it there). Poach them for half an hour or so. And then grill them. What you're missing about grain-finished is the additional intramuscular fat in the meat. Taking your steaks more on the rare side helps as well -- what fat there is doesn't completely cook out of the meat.


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## stmartinfan (Apr 15, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> And for others that might be reading this thread, eatwild is a great resource for finding a local producer.
> 
> Bon Appetit!
> elaine



thanks for this link.  It looks like a great resource.  I love the flavor of "real" chicken so will need to explore making a purchase from one of the farms near us.  I grew up eating my mother's home grown home cooked chickens and will always remember that wonderful flavor.  I might not be able to replicate her cooking skills but at least I can start with better meat!


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## Twinkstarr (Apr 15, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> Scoop, in large part because of your posts, we have resurrected the practice of buying grass fed beef from a local rancher.
> 
> He has a wonderful, sustainable, organic method for his ranch, similar to the Joel Salatin rotational method. Including using chickens to spread the natural fertilizer and remove pests.
> 
> ...



Thanks for that eatwild link, was able to track down some local chicken producers.


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## heathpack (Apr 15, 2012)

How do I plan our meals?  Ha, here's how it went this weekend.  Spied the 2nd half of a large sack of onions in the pantry, which inspired me to make a big batch of carmelized onions before we head down to Mexico next week.  Carmelized onions plus the quart of beef stock sitting in the freezer= onion soup.  Better buy day-old bread to make croutons.  But I will only have 2 servings of onion soup and lots of croutons left over, what's the second best thing to eat croutons in?  Tomato soup, yah, I will make tomato soup.  And what goes well with onion soup?  Quiche.  Bonus=have a pie crust already made in freezer.  But if I make a quiche, I will have some cream leftover, what will I do with that?  I've been wanting to try the Mint Chip Ice Cream recipe, need to buy some mint.  Pretty sure I will have mint leftover, if we have lamb chops for dinner, I can make mint chutney to go with them, mint chutney and lamb chops rock.  Mmm, tomato soup, now I have tomatoes on my mind, feel like pizza now.  Oh yeah, remember the carmelized onions?  Gotta make some carmelized onion jam, that means burgers must be on the menu.

So here's the meals this week:

Sat: Onion Soup, Bacon & Gruyere Quiche, Salad
Sun:  Pizza, Salad
Mon: Lamb Chops with mint chutney, sugar snap peas and glazed carrots
Tues: Leftover Quiche, Salad
Wed: Tomato soup, Burgers, Salad
Thurs: Leftover pizza, Salad
Fri:  Tomato soup & grilled cheese while packing for MEXICO

Carrots, sugar snap peas, mint all looking good at FM this week.

Mmm, quiche:






 

H


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## glypnirsgirl (Apr 15, 2012)

H - Looking forward to the day when I can plan this way!

Tonight I decided to take Scoop's advice and cook without a recipe. [As an aside, my mentor as a lawyer, Charles Baldwin, came into the library when I was a young lawyer (a long time ago) and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was working on a motion. He said. "you don't need a form book to write a motion, make it up yourself." --- and so I have all these 32 years --- and it is much more efficient]. 

Using what I had on hand, onions, peppers, kale, potatoes and pork chops --- I made a great dinner. Braised pork chops with onions and peppers seasoned with thyme and a little oregano, mashed potatoes, and kale with carmelized onions. I blanched the kale first, carmelized the onions and added kale to the same pan. Then, to see if it would work, I used the same boiling water I had used to blanch the kale to boil the potatoes. I was a little afraid that they would turn green - they didn't. And Ian didn't notice anything weird about them. 

I had dinner on the table in about 40 minutes --- really fast for me.

elaine


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## heathpack (Apr 15, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> H - Looking forward to the day when I can plan this way!
> 
> Tonight I decided to take Scoop's advice and cook without a recipe. [As an aside, my mentor as a lawyer, Charles Baldwin, came into the library when I was a young lawyer (a long time ago) and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was working on a motion. He said. "you don't need a form book to write a motion, make it up yourself." --- and so I have all these 32 years --- and it is much more efficient].
> 
> ...



Mmm, pork chops.  Love em braised with apples in apple cider.

Me, I tried a new *recipe* for pizza dough.  It was good.





H


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## pjrose (Apr 16, 2012)

OMG Heath, I am TRYING to lose weight...sitting here with my Weight Watchers yogurt, and looking at photos of your quiche and pizza, and looking at your meals for the week.  

To heck with Weight Watchers, can I move in with you?  I'll take care of all the orphaned kitties that come your way   

PS - please post how you made that gorgeous pizza.  How do you do your carmelized onions?  I cheat with the crockpot overnight - but they're really really good, and the house smells yummy.


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## heathpack (Apr 16, 2012)

pjrose said:


> OMG Heath, I am TRYING to lose weight...sitting here with my Weight Watchers yogurt, and looking at photos of your quiche and pizza, and looking at your meals for the week.
> 
> To heck with Weight Watchers, can I move in with you?  I'll take care of all the orphaned kitties that come your way
> 
> PS - please post how you made that gorgeous pizza.  How do you do your carmelized onions?  I cheat with the crockpot overnight - but they're really really good, and the house smells yummy.



Just as an FYI, I did elliptical 3 miles in 30 min yesterday and swim 1/4 mile.  And I biked 16 miles today.  Exercise is my only hope.

I also do the carmelized onions in a crockpot, microwaving them for 15 minutes with a little butter and salt, then draining the juices off.  Crockpot on high 6-8 hours until deep brown.

The pizza crust was from a cookbook I got for Christmas from one of my nurses, it's called the Mozza Cookbook.  It is from my favorite restaurant, Pizzeria Mozza.  They make transcendent pizzas, I especially love the crusts.  I guess I must have been droning on about it and work, so I got the cookbook as a gift.  The dough took about 30-40 minutes of hands on time, and 4 hours total between all the rising, resting and proofing.  It was a snap to work with and get stretched to a windowpane thickness.  First you make a sponge of water, bread flour, and yeast.  Let it ferment a little at room temp, 90 minutes.  Then you add more flour, more water, a speck each of rye flour and wheat germ, salt, and a little bit of honey.  Knead in kitchen aid 8 min.  Dough into oiled bowl, first rise 45 min.  Remove from bowl, fold over each of four sides into the center of the dough, back into oiled bowl, second rise 45 min.  Then remove from bowl, cut into 7 oz portions and let rest on floured counter under damp dish towel for 5 minutes.  Then form into dough rounds and left proof 1 hour on counter under damp dish towel.  At the same time, remove all racks except lowest one from oven and preheat your oven as hot as it wil go, mine goes to 550.  After 1 hour, stretch dough into 10 inch rounds, place onto semolina-dusted pizza peel, brush edge of dough with oil, sprinkle with salt, spread with 1/4 cup sauce, top with 3 oz mozzarella cut into 6 chunks, and some thinly sliced pepperoni.  Slide into oven, cook 8 minutes or so.  Sprinkle liberally with Parmesan and torn basil leaves.

If you ever come to LA, you must go to Pizzeria Mozza and I will tell you exactly how to order.  One appetizer per person, whatever strikes your fancy- meatballs al forno, arracini, fried potaotes, chickpeas & sage, and white bean bruschetta with saba all rock my world.  The little Gem lettuce salad is awesome but its something like $15, yikes.  Then get whatever pizza you want, I am a margarita fan myself.  You MUST also get dessert, I don't care I'd you are full after dinner, man up and order dessert.  You might be tempted by the butterscotch pudding, they are famous for that, but I tell you it's good but just too much.  Focus on the gelatos and sorbets.  You get to pick three favors, the gelatos really good- rice (tastes like rice pudding) and hazelnut are my favorites, but the sorbets knock my socks off.  Always coconut and chocolate when they have them, plus some complementary fruit- tangerine, blood orange, strawberry all work here.  There you have a perfect meal, only $150 for pizza for 2, lol.  There you have it, more than you ever wanted to know about getting pizza in La.

H


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## ScoopKona (Apr 16, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> I had dinner on the table in about 40 minutes --- really fast for me.



To quote Obi-Wan Kenobi, "You've taken your first step into a larger world."

Cooking for a family isn't that hard. And it should be FUN. If it isn't fun, then you're doing something wrong. It's not like you have to make dozens of menu items for hundreds of guests. You just have to make one meal for one family. That shouldn't even be "work." 

Mindset is the key to this. Have your pans* hot, your oven hot, and everything you need for the tasks at hand prepared and in bowls -- ready to go. Break things down into what can be done in advance, and what has to be done at the last minute, and prep everything based on that knowledge. Don't stand around waiting for water to boil. Mince your herbs and garlic. Dice an onion while you wait.

Make no empty motions. And have a large stock of tea towels in arms reach for grabbing pan handles and removing hot items from the oven. 

And Ian should be prodded into learning how to cook. It will improve his palate. Take a course together if you can. Nothing but good can come of it.

Now go buy a kosher chicken and break it down into eight pieces and braise it with mire poix, whatever herbs you have on hand, and an inexpensive bottle of white wine. Toss in some truffle salt just before serving. Serve it with home baked bread. Make a sourdough starter for the bread.

[To make a sourdough starter: 1) Wash your hands and arms, all the way up to the elbows in the hottest water you can stand. Lather, rinse, repeat. 30 seconds of washing. No less. 2) Take two cups of unbleached AP flour, two cups of warm water, two teaspoons of sugar, and two pinches of salt, and mix it all together in a bowl with your clean hands. Cover the bowl with a damp tea towel and let stand on the counter overnight. It should bubble after a day. 3) Refrigerate until needed. But at least once a week, feed the starter by removing some starter (for pancakes or biscuits or bread) and then start again from step 1 adding to the bowl. Every couple days, pour the starter into a clean container. (In the restaurant world, we do this every day. But you can get away with skipping a day. This doesn't take long.)]

My sourdough starter has been around since the Nixon administration. It's moved with me twice. And it takes on the characteristics of it's climate. It was originally San Francisco starter which I took to Florida. But it morphs. It quickly turned into a Key West starter. Now it's a Las Vegas starter. Not as good as SF. Better than KW. 


* Pans with plastic handles need to go. Donate them to Goodwill and buy all metal pans. Any pan you can't put in the oven is the wrong pan. There's no getting around this.

EDIT -- "Having your pans hot" means you have them in your heated oven. So you pull the pan out with the tea towel I mentioned, and put it on the range, hot, and start cooking immediately. This will knock many minutes off your total cooking time. You're going to burn yourself a couple times. Especially if you try to pick up a hot pan with a damp towel. The towel needs to be dry. Eventually, you'll get the technique down and you won't burn yourself.


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## Twinkstarr (Apr 16, 2012)

pjrose said:


> OMG Heath, I am TRYING to lose weight...sitting here with my Weight Watchers yogurt, and looking at photos of your quiche and pizza, and looking at your meals for the week.
> 
> To heck with Weight Watchers, can I move in with you?  I'll take care of all the orphaned kitties that come your way
> 
> PS - please post how you made that gorgeous pizza.  How do you do your carmelized onions?  I cheat with the crockpot overnight - but they're really really good, and the house smells yummy.



 Yes you can eat what you want, just cut the serving size down a bit and "MOVE". The activity points are just as important as the food points.

Try some FAGE yogurt, has the texture of something alot richer than it is, but is only 2 pts. My 11 yr old likes it over blueberries(and yes we are talking the plain one). 

I easily hit 5-6 points with my workouts(and they are usually around 45-50 minutes) then there always 2-3 points more per day for walk or bike ride after dinner with DH and the boys.


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## Rose Pink (Apr 16, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> ...
> Cooking for a family isn't that hard. And it should be FUN. If it isn't fun, then you're doing something wrong.


*I'm* doing something wrong?  How about the picky eaters make it not fun.  What's fun about spending hours planning, shopping and cooking, setting a nice table, putting a delicious meal on it and then having them say, "I don't want any of this or that."  Or, they pick off ingredients before even tasting them.  I've mentioned my DH's limited cuisine before.  He's the one that takes all the fun out of it for me.  Can't even get him to taste a caramelized onion.  And heaven forbid there should be any "fungus" on the table.  He swears he can taste the chromium.

I just let him buy his own TV dinners.  We're both happier that way.


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## glypnirsgirl (Apr 16, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> To quote Obi-Wan Kenobi, "You've taken your first step into a larger world."


 LOL!



ScoopLV said:


> Mindset is the key to this. Have your pans* hot, your oven hot, and everything you need for the tasks at hand prepared and in bowls -- ready to go. Break things down into what can be done in advance, and what has to be done at the last minute, and prep everything based on that knowledge. Don't stand around waiting for water to boil. Mince your herbs and garlic. Dice an onion while you wait.
> 
> Make no empty motions. And have a large stock of tea towels in arms reach for grabbing pan handles and removing hot items from the oven.



Almost all of the pans that I use for sauteeing are cast iron so I am in the habit of using towels to grab handles.

I understand the concept of having all of my ingredients prepped --- I just don't know how far in advance I can prep them. 

For example, it seems much faster to me to cut several onions at once. I use lots of chopped onions. It seems faster to me to peel 3 or 4 and then chop them. If I do this 2 or 3 days in advance, am I losing any volatile oils or any quality?

Speaking of techniques, one of the first cook books that I read as a young cook, was Jacques Pepin's tips and techniques. As a result, I can slice and dice almost anything perfectly. 

And I have been able to cut a chicken into 8 parts since I was a kid. I was shocked to see someone on Martha Stewart trying to learn how to cut up a chicken --- it was hilarious to watch someone that didn't understand the difference between a bone and a joint.



ScoopLV said:


> And Ian should be prodded into learning how to cook. It will improve his palate. Take a course together if you can. Nothing but good can come of it.


Ian knows how to cook. He can make chili and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Sometimes he puts hot dogs in the mac and cheese. Because he is happy eating that every day, he sees no reason to learn anything else.




ScoopLV said:


> EDIT -- "Having your pans hot" means you have them in your heated oven. So you pull the pan out with the tea towel I mentioned, and put it on the range, hot, and start cooking immediately. This will knock many minutes off your total cooking time. You're going to burn yourself a couple times. Especially if you try to pick up a hot pan with a damp towel. The towel needs to be dry. Eventually, you'll get the technique down and you won't burn yourself.



What a great tip! The problem with using cast iron is the time it takes the pans to heat up (and to a lesser extent the slower reaction to decreasing the heat).


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## glypnirsgirl (Apr 16, 2012)

Rose Pink said:


> *I'm* doing something wrong?  How about the picky eaters make it not fun.  What's fun about spending hours planning, shopping and cooking, setting a nice table, putting a delicious meal on it and then having them say, "I don't want any of this or that."  Or, they pick off ingredients before even tasting them.  I've mentioned my DH's limited cuisine before.  He's the one that takes all the fun out of it for me.  Can't even get him to taste a caramelized onion.  And heaven forbid there should be any "fungus" on the table.  He swears he can taste the chromium.
> 
> I just let him buy his own TV dinners.  We're both happier that way.



OMG! This is exactly what was going on at our house that started this thread. I feel for you. 

Every time that Ian would complain, I wouldn't cook for a week. That got progressively longer and longer until I was going six months at a time without cooking. 

I had been married to Ian for 8.5 years when I just got sick of all of his complaining when I cooked, yet he was perfectly happy with his macaroni and cheese from a box (what is wrong with this picture, complain about a perfect pot roast, but be willing to eat boxed mac and cheese  ). 

Before I got so out of practice, I was a great cook. I learned to cook by reading La Rousse Gastronomique. I taught myself how to make home made stock, demi-glace, etc. (even mirepoix  ), just by reading and practicing. (I also think that this is how I had gotten in the habit of using recipes. It was how I had started).

I come from a cajun family, and I do not remember not knowing how to make a roux (but what a bunch of terrible cooks, no one on either side of my family cooks well -- and we weren't allowed to complain). And it didn't matter what I had made, Ian would find something to complain about. I had not been cooking for a long time when I decided to tackle it again. This time, I told him before I started, that I was going to continue to cook for myself, but I would not cook for him if he complained. 

I think that it is easier to let him buy his own TV dinners. You don't need the stress of trying to please someone that is impossible to please. And cook for yourself, for your own enjoyment. 

Good luck!
elaine


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## pjrose (Apr 16, 2012)

*picky eaters*

It never occurred to me to not eat what was served.  I LOVED the curries, teriyakis, croquettes, stroganoff (the real thing, not that hamburger and mushroom soup glop), etc etc.  My father was a great cook.  OK, maybe I'd avoid the okra in my Dad's gumbo and I didn't like the feel of cooked zucchini (I know now it was overcooked).  But not eating what was served was not an option.  That was never stated, it's just the way it was. I also don't recall ever having a voice or vote in the menu. 

I'm trying to figure out how that's changed.  When I married DH I noted that his mom cooked different food for some family members who didn't like whatever...and I swore I would NEVER do that.  I don't - but for the last dozen-ish years DH and I have generally cooked what the kids like to avoid complaints.  And if they didn't like whatever it was, they'd just go to the bread and peanut butter or the freezer for a frozen dinner.  When and how did that become an option? 

Before the kids hit first grade, they ate what we ate, which tended to be varied, seasoned/sauced/marinated, including vegetables and salad. I think once they discovered the wonders of fried cafeteria food and saw that other kids had junk in their lunchboxes instead of grown-up food leftover from dinner, that's when it changed.  But we changed too, by catering to them.

Since 10th grade DS, whose repertoire by then was limited to things like mac'n'cheese, hot dogs, and pizza, spent summers with the GPs in NYC.  They eat a wide variety of healthy food, always multiple vegs, salads, variety of meats, seafood, and a lot of eating out.  He came home eating salads, salmon, etc.  He just got back from a trip to Cuba (he did lighting design for a dance company) where he ate everything except the black beans - different seafood, meats, etc - didn't know what he was eating, but he liked it all.  

If I had it to do over.......but I don't.  

Moral of the story - for those of you raising kids, don't let them be the boss!


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## ScoopKona (Apr 16, 2012)

Rose Pink said:


> *I'm* doing something wrong?  How about the picky eaters make it not fun.  What's fun about spending hours planning, shopping and cooking, setting a nice table, putting a delicious meal on it and then having them say, "I don't want any of this or that."  Or, they pick off ingredients before even tasting them.  I've mentioned my DH's limited cuisine before.  He's the one that takes all the fun out of it for me.  Can't even get him to taste a caramelized onion.  And heaven forbid there should be any "fungus" on the table.  He swears he can taste the chromium.
> 
> I just let him buy his own TV dinners.  We're both happier that way.



I simply don't know how to respond to that. My wife is an adventurous person. We'll go to new restaurants just because neither of us has ever had Albanian cuisine. And then we'll ask the waiter to ask the cook to make whatever he makes when he's homesick. I couldn't live with someone who eats only TV dinners. I'd purposely take a wrong turn and just keep going. (From the Springsteen song.)

I suppose if I was stuck in a similar situation, with no way out, I'd rebel by throwing down the absolute best I was capable of. Spinach souffles, paella, sushi, or meat grilled to perfection. Every. Single. Day. And I'd make damned sure that there were onions and mushrooms (preferably truffles) in everything. (Well, except the sushi. But anyone who balks at carmelized onions isn't going to eat sushi.) Even if I made an accessible dish, like steak, I'd stuff it with chopped mushrooms and fines herbs and cover it with carmelized onions. And I'd make an onion mushroom jus and ladle it over the top. 

Mashed potatoes? Great. There's an excuse to add truffles, truffle oil, truffle salt, parmesan butter (made by a company in Parma, Italy called Delitia) and cream. Anyone who turns their nose up at THAT should be exiled to Rube Island.

Even if the Frump-Of-My-Life never tried the food, at least *I* would eat well. But it would never come to that, because I'd take a wrong turn in a matter of days.


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## Rose Pink (Apr 16, 2012)

You've mentioned more things DH won't eat: black beans, salmon and sushi. 

Scoop, I need to take your advice and start cooking just for myself.  DD is moving back home.  Maybe we can cook together.


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## ScoopKona (Apr 16, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> Ian knows how to cook. He can make chili and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Sometimes he puts hot dogs in the mac and cheese. Because he is happy eating that every day, he sees no reason to learn anything else.



That's BS and you know it. Knowing how to make boxed mac and cheese is not cooking. Beanie Weenies is not a culinary skill. Your husband has the palate of a spoiled six-year old, and I'd tell him that point blank. Perhaps Peter Flippin' Pan would like to grow up some day and learn to enjoy "big-boy food." 

I'd also say, "If you don't learn to enjoy real food, I'm going to find myself an Ethiopian-Chinese-Italian chef and [censor] him silly." (In my case the chef would be a "her" and she'd probably have a pastry background. But you get the idea.)


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## Passepartout (Apr 16, 2012)

I was raised by a woman who, when anyone arrived at our house asked, "Have you eaten?" on her way to the kitchen. Food was varied and tasty.

That's the way it is here, except that I'm the one manning (personning?) the  kitchen. If someone expects special food, they'd better learn how to cook, 'cause I only fix what I'm fixing and if ya don't eat it, you'll go hungry waiting for me to appease a bland diet.

Jim


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## Elan (Apr 16, 2012)

pjrose said:


> It never occurred to me to not eat what was served.  I LOVED the curries, teriyakis, croquettes, stroganoff (the real thing, not that hamburger and mushroom soup glop), etc etc.  My father was a great cook.  OK, maybe I'd avoid the okra in my Dad's gumbo and I didn't like the feel of cooked zucchini (I know now it was overcooked).  But not eating what was served was not an option.  That was never stated, it's just the way it was. I also don't recall ever having a voice or vote in the menu.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out how that's changed.  When I married DH I noted that his mom cooked different food for some family members who didn't like whatever...and I swore I would NEVER do that.  I don't - but for the last dozen-ish years DH and I have generally cooked what the kids like to avoid complaints.  And if they didn't like whatever it was, they'd just go to the bread and peanut butter or the freezer for a frozen dinner.  When and how did that become an option?
> 
> ...



  We try to not give in to our kids wishes, but the fact of the matter is you can lead your kids to broccoli, but you can't make them eat (actually, my kids eat broccoli -- cauliflower, not so much).  

  I try to temper my expectations on what my kids should be willing to eat, which makes life a whole lot easier.  If I'm making something that only tastes good with tons of pepper in it, then rather than attempting to make it so that my kids will eat it, I make it the correct way and just figure that my kids will be eating something else.  But I do try to get them to taste what we're eating.  If it's something pretty normal, like last night's dinner (grilled teryaki chicken thighs, mashed potatoes and green beans) they're going to eat it or go hungry.

  IMO, there are a lot of over-generalized statements in this thread that just don't apply when one's cooking for kids.


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## amycurl (Apr 16, 2012)

> My sourdough starter has been around since the Nixon administration. It's moved with me twice. And it takes on the characteristics of it's climate. It was originally San Francisco starter which I took to Florida. But it morphs. It quickly turned into a Key West starter. Now it's a Las Vegas starter. Not as good as SF. Better than KW



My sourdough starter goes all the way back to the Alaskan gold rush.  We've used it for dough in many different climates. Still makes the best pancakes I've ever had, esp. with wild Maine blueberries.

And I'm like pjrose, I use cookbooks as a starting-off point, not a script. My DH is not an intuitive cook, and I've learned that his mother really isn't either. Very good at following a recipe exactly (he's somewhat "thorough and precise") Whereas, I can look in a pantry (even if it's not mine) and make something for dinner pretty quickly.


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## ScoopKona (Apr 16, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> For example, it seems much faster to me to cut several onions at once. I use lots of chopped onions. It seems faster to me to peel 3 or 4 and then chop them. If I do this 2 or 3 days in advance, am I losing any volatile oils or any quality?
> .



Sorry, forgot to answer your question. I was too busy spouting off about infantile spouses.

The Las Vegas casinos will used pre-cut onions. But they're wrapped in packages that are filled with inert gas to keep them from browning. It's cheaper than paying people like me $20 per hour to dice onions.

Here's how to cut an onion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwGBt3V0yvc

I can do this in 10 seconds flat. Mr. Ramsay can, too. He's doing this slow so you can see what's actually happening. The one thing Mr. Ramsay didn't mention was, "Be [censored] sure your [censored] knife is sharp enough to shave with. Your knife should be sharp enough to perform [censored] plastic surgery." (I added the "[censored]" because Gordon would want it that way.)

Once you get good at dicing an onion, what's a few seconds while waiting for water to boil or for something to heat up under the broiler? And you can take this same technique and use it to mince garlic, dice squash, dice carrots -- everything. 

The problem for most home cooks is they've fallen for the bad idiom "Practice makes perfect." Practicing bad technique only reinforces a bad habit. "Perfect-practice makes perfect," is the correct version of this idiom.

So to answer your question, No. I don't hold any prepped veg for more than a couple hours. There's no need to do so.


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## Rose Pink (Apr 16, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> .... The one thing Mr. Ramsay didn't mention was, "Be [censored] sure your [censored] knife is sharp enough to shave with. Your knife should be sharp enough to perform [censored] plastic surgery." (I added the "[censored]" because Gordon would want it that way.)


 
I can never seem to sharpen a knife.  I've tried and tried.  I used to have a place close by I could take my knives for sharpening but now I have to go all the way downtown and leave them there.  And, since I rarely cook, I've gotten lazy.  I have set of about 5 Cutco knives and that's it.  Slicing a tomato is more akin to sawing.  (I can feel Scoop cringing.)



ScoopLV said:


> ... the bad idiom "Practice makes perfect." Practicing bad technique only reinforces a bad habit. "Perfect-practice makes perfect," is the correct version of this idiom.


I had a sensei who used to tell us that.  He said if you keep practicing wrong, you will get really good at doing it wrong.  Trouble is, if I could do it correctly, I probably wouldn't have to practice. :hysterical:


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## Rose Pink (Apr 16, 2012)

I think DH would eat this, especially if I substituted brats for hot dogs:
http://veryculinary.com/2011/10/27/threaded-spaghetti-hot-dog-bites/


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## ScoopKona (Apr 16, 2012)

Rose Pink said:


> I can never seem to sharpen a knife.  I've tried and tried.  I used to have a place close by I could take my knives for sharpening but now I have to go all the way downtown and leave them there.  And, since I rarely cook, I've gotten lazy.  I have set of about 5 Cutco knives and that's it.  Slicing a tomato is more akin to sawing.  (I can feel Scoop cringing.)



Here's how: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y4Ihh0Va38

You don't sharpen a knife like you're whittling wood. You sharpen like you're rubbing clothes on a washboard. But not nearly as much pressure. 

But first, you need sharpening stones. And those stones need to be DEAD FLAT, or you'll ruin the knife.

I like King brand stones. They're not very expensive, and you can buy multi-grit stones. I have a 220/800 combination stone for regrinding an edge. And a 1000/6000 stone for refining the edge. Once knives are sharp, they only need a tuneup every so often on the 6000 stone. I also tune up my stones with a flattening stone every once in awhile. And every few years, I'll give all the stones to a poor coworker and buy new stones.

As for knives, please spoil yourself and buy ONE good knife. I recommend the MAC brand from Japan. There are better knives out there, but MAC makes the best knives that don't cost as much as a car. This is the knife I bought for my wife for when she's cooking. I prefer a longer knife. Eight inches isn't enough for me. But it's more than enough for most people. 

Cut a tomato with THAT (they come razor sharp right out of the box) and then you'll know what a knife should feel like.


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## geekette (Apr 16, 2012)

You cannot get someone to cooking class that has no interest in cooking.  Don't know Ian, but expect there could be laughter or "Are you crazy?" stare.  Elaine, please let us know how this goes over!!

If I could get my x dh to stir soemthing, that would be miraculous and he would proclaim that he was "cooking".  He wanted no part whatsoever of food prep, ever, and that includes grilling (altho i could on occasion get him to at least light the thing for me).

Fact of the matter is that for some people, food just isn't that interesting.  My x is diabetic, food is simply necessary fuel that prevents coma and worse.  Takes little time with his food, eats fast, no real savoring.  

Tv dinners and drive thru window were fine with him.  When I cooked, I made what I wanted and he could have some or not.   

Kids ...  we never got a voice and when mom made somethign she knew we hated, it woudl be a biga$$ spoonful of that glop as a No Thank You Helping.  and there would be no getting up from the table until your plate was cleaned.  

I would have far preferred being allowed to make pbj than stare down a cold mass of gooey spinach with vinegar on it all night.   EVERY TIME she served that disgusting stuff I would get that sentence.  Yes, sentence.  I was punished for not wanting to ingest it.  Every time.  It's not like I would ever develop a fondness so would be punished for my tastebuds not being into it.  It made no sense to me then and still makes no sense. 

I do not eat cooked spinach as an adult and I sure would never douse it in vinegar in some twisted attempt to make it palatable.  I like raw spinach, and will enjoy cooked spinach in a recipe, just not on its own.  It is highly unlikely that anyone will ever erase those terrible Me vs Spinach nights as a kid and get me to try THEIR squishy cooked spinach.

"Eat this or make your own" seems to me to be a reasonable compromise.  No Thank You helping for you to TRY something new without the force of finishing it.  No punishment for not liking something.  No punishment for not wanting it.

No catering to the picky.

just my opinion.


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## Elan (Apr 16, 2012)

geekette said:


> You cannot get someone to cooking class that has no interest in cooking.  Don't know Ian, but expect there could be laughter or "Are you crazy?" stare.  Elaine, please let us know how this goes over!!
> 
> If I could get my x dh to stir soemthing, that would be miraculous and he would proclaim that he was "cooking".  He wanted no part whatsoever of food prep, ever, and that includes grilling (altho i could on occasion get him to at least light the thing for me).
> 
> ...



  Well said, on both topics.  I like to cook because I like to eat.  I like to cook different things because I like to eat different things.  If one doesn't _enjoy_ eating, they're probably not going to like spending 2 hours in the kitchen preparing a meal (unless they're a hell of a lot more altruistic than I am).

  And you also pretty well summed up my attitude on feeding my kids.  I'm not going to force them to eat spinach.  Spinach sucks.  It's one of maybe 5 semi-normal things that I don't eat.  If I don't like it, I can't reasonably expect my kids to like it.  As I said, I try to temper my expectations on what they _should_ eat, without allowing them to be overly picky.


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## ScoopKona (Apr 16, 2012)

geekette said:


> Fact of the matter is that for some people, food just isn't that interesting.  My x is diabetic, food is simply necessary fuel that prevents coma and worse.  Takes little time with his food, eats fast, no real savoring.



Then I'm glad he's your ex. Hope you find a better one. If it's Type 2 Diabetes, have you considered the fact that his poor diet was likely a significant factor? Food karma as it were. Eat well, or your food choices will be made for you by your pancreas. 



geekette said:


> I would have far preferred being allowed to make pbj than stare down a cold mass of gooey spinach with vinegar on it all night.



People pay $10 for four ounces of my spinach. (Well, not my recipe. But that's what it goes for. And the spinach I make at home is just as amazing.) Compare that to overcooked, under-seasoned spinach with vinegar. And then you were forced to eat it despite the fact it sucked. Sounds familiar. I didn't know beets, turnips and parsnips were capable of tasting good until I moved out of the house. I'll bet your mom boiled everything.


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## ScoopKona (Apr 16, 2012)

Elan said:


> Well said, on both topics.  I like to cook because I like to eat.  I like to cook different things because I like to eat different things.  If one doesn't _enjoy_ eating, they're probably not going to like spending 2 hours in the kitchen preparing a meal (unless they're a hell of a lot more altruistic than I am).



And I wouldn't have settled down with anyone like that in the first place. Let _Mr. Kraft Mac and Cheese_ find _Ms. Kraft Mac and Cheese_ and they can live together in bland, boring, diabetic bliss. Away from me. FAR away from me, preferably. I have no patience for people like that. They're what's wrong with this country.


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## geekette (Apr 16, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> Then I'm glad he's your ex. Hope you find a better one. If it's Type 2 Diabetes, have you considered the fact that his poor diet was likely a significant factor? Food karma as it were. Eat well, or your food choices will be made for you by your pancreas.


Nope, juvie onset, type 1.  he was full grown by the time I met him, existing on take out and microwave crap.  I frequently told him that I thought he was ingesting way too much "chemical food" but convenience trumped everything for him.  so be it.   I never met his mother but she was apparently a terrible cook.  

new boyfriend cooks.  cooks WELL.  likes to experiment.  is upgrading his pots/pans and knives to better quality.   



> People pay $10 for four ounces of my spinach. (Well, not my recipe. But that's what it goes for. And the spinach I make at home is just as amazing.) Compare that to overcooked, under-seasoned spinach with vinegar. And then you were forced to eat it despite the fact it sucked. Sounds familiar. I didn't know beets, turnips and parsnips were capable of tasting good until I moved out of the house. I'll bet your mom boiled everything.



I would try a spinach dish.  I tried spin/arti dip soon after it became popular and enjoy that.  spinach lasagna, in an egg dish, etc etc.  I'll grow it and enjoy in salads all summer also.  I'd pay a few bucks to try it.  No promises on finishing it nor remaining in place at teh table until I do.

Mom is actually a great cook.  not a "default boiler" by any means, she knows how to prepare things and they are not all teh same.  Not reliant on recipes, very few experiments gone bad that I recall.  She was a housewife needing to keep food bill down, so try to avoid waste.  I get it from that standpoint, but once a year is enuf on the No Thank You helping of ANYTHING.  If food becomes about punishment, there can be some bad associations made in a child.


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## geekette (Apr 16, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> And I wouldn't have settled down with anyone like that in the first place. Let _Mr. Kraft Mac and Cheese_ find _Ms. Kraft Mac and Cheese_ and they can live together in bland, boring, diabetic bliss. Away from me. FAR away from me, preferably. I have no patience for people like that. They're what's wrong with this country.



LOL.   I have to say that my much younger self didn't find food to be a significant factor in mate selection.  It wasn't an issue in the marriage since he would do the dishes ; )


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## hypnotiq (Apr 16, 2012)

pjrose said:


> Plan?
> 
> ~5:30PM one of us says "what do you want for dinner?"  The other one says "I dunno, what do you want?"  "I don't know, I asked first," "Wanna go out?"  "nah, let's see what we have for leftovers," and on it goes.
> 
> ...



This is the *exact* conversation that takes place between my gf and I pretty much every day before I leave work. :hysterical:


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## geekette (Apr 16, 2012)

Elan said:


> Well said, on both topics.  I like to cook because I like to eat.  I like to cook different things because I like to eat different things.  If one doesn't _enjoy_ eating, they're probably not going to like spending 2 hours in the kitchen preparing a meal (unless they're a hell of a lot more altruistic than I am).
> 
> And you also pretty well summed up my attitude on feeding my kids.  I'm not going to force them to eat spinach.  Spinach sucks.  It's one of maybe 5 semi-normal things that I don't eat.  If I don't like it, I can't reasonably expect my kids to like it.  As I said, I try to temper my expectations on what they _should_ eat, without allowing them to be overly picky.



good points.  I generally equate cooking my own food with "Eating Better" than can be done elsewhere (healthwise, not always taste + presentation) and hadn't thought much about the time component.   two hours in teh kitchen would be HARD LABOR for some people, but gone in the blink of an eye for others.

Cool Moms don't force spinach on their kids!!!   Delicate balance, but the main thing is that you are striving for balance and I would think that would serve them well, now and when they are grown.

I recently saved a recipe for a soup with some "not quite Me" ingredients - I believe it contained parsnip.  I love soup so while the main ingredients didn't sound all that appealling, how would I know?  I cannot tell you what a parsnip tastes like because I don't know.  when I try something new, people get an automatic out:  this may be horrible so you don't have to say you like it if you don't; I'd prefer to know what you really think.


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## stmartinfan (Apr 16, 2012)

While I support the principle of encouraging kids to try new foods, it's also important to remember that there can be physical conditions that affect their preferences, too.

I recently read about "hyper tasters," people who have multiple times more taste buds in their mouths than the average person.  That makes them immensely sensitive to tastes and ingredients that are pleasant for others. That's a condition that's lifelong.  The article gave a hint on how to "dye" your tongue so you could see the taste buds and how concentrated yours are.  (My picky daughter is one of those; I could see an uncontrollable physical reaction on her face when something spicy hit her tongue when she was younger.  As she's aged, she can now tolerate some foods that were too intense earlier.)

Also, most kids have more sensitive taste buds than adults, so some of the strong foods that adults like just are too overpowering for younger mouths.  Foods like the cauliflower an adult likes can be way to strong for some kids - but they might like it when they get older.

And on the other end of the age spectrum, most adults' taste buds loose sensitivity as we age, so we will want more intense and strongly flavored foods.  Many seniors complain about food tasting "bland," but it's not the food - it's their taste buds.  They might compensate with more salt and pepper, more will taste good to younger people.

I think forcing a child to eat something isn't helpful; sometimes that "pickyness" has a physical component.  And turning meals into a battle ground turns food choices into a test of wills - never a good way to encourage experimentation!

And to reiterate something I mentioned pages ago in this post - food means different things to different people.  For Scoop, food clearly is "adventure."  But for others it's just "fuel" or even "convenience"; they're perfectly happy eating a few basic foods over and over again because it's just a way to get energy and satisfy the hunger pains.  They don't really understand why others of us make such a big deal about what we eat - and why we would ever expect them to participate in all the hoop-la about it!


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## pjrose (Apr 16, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> . . . We'll go to new restaurants just because neither of us has ever had Albanian cuisine. And then we'll ask the waiter to ask the cook to make whatever he makes when he's homesick.
> . . .



We will too, though sometimes when there's been a total language barrier we've literally thrown our hands out and somehow used gestures to convey "you pick".  We've done that in Rome, Vienna, and at a tiny Japanese restaurant in NYC.  Best meals we've ever had!



Elan said:


> We try to not give in to our kids wishes, but the fact of the matter is you can lead your kids to broccoli, but you can't make them eat (actually, my kids eat broccoli -- cauliflower, not so much).
> . . .



True, and I didn't expect or force them to eat something they actually detested, but I did encourage "try." 



amycurl said:


> . . .
> And I'm like pjrose, I *use cookbooks as a starting-off point, not a script.* My DH is not an *intuitive cook*, and I've learned that his mother really isn't either. Very good at following a recipe exactly (he's somewhat "thorough and precise") Whereas, I can look in a pantry (even if it's not mine) and make something for dinner pretty quickly.



Your descriptions fit me exactly.  The phrase "intuitive cook" hadn't occurred to me, but that's just what I am.  I remember being so frustrated in 10th grade Home Ec because we were to measure every little thing, so one day I brought in my own little baggie of mixed herbs for whatever we were cooking that day  .



ScoopLV said:


> But first, you need sharpening stones. And those stones need to be DEAD FLAT, or you'll ruin the knife.
> 
> I like King brand stones. They're not very expensive, and you can buy multi-grit stones. I have a 220/800 combination stone for regrinding an edge. And a 1000/6000 stone for refining the edge. Once knives are sharp, they only need a tuneup every so often on the 6000 stone. I also tune up my stones with a flattening stone every once in awhile. And every few years, I'll give all the stones to a poor coworker and buy new stones.
> . . .



I have a flat two-sided stone, and I can't figure out which side is which   The grit feels the same to me.  Any help with this?

Also, when I use the stone, the knife gets sharp on the opposite side...if I swipe side A over the stone a few times, then feel the edge with my finger, side B of the knife feels sharp and side A dull.  Then if I swipe side B even once, A is sharp and B dull.  I suppose something magnetic is going on....but how do I get BOTH sides sharp?



geekette said:


> You cannot get someone to cooking class that has no interest in cooking.  Don't know Ian, but expect there could be laughter or "Are you crazy?" stare.  Elaine, please let us know how this goes over!!



If there are demonstration classes, where you all get to sit and watch and then taste the results, he might like it.  Occasionally I find a Groupon to a place here that has a big variety of classes; the tables are beautifully set, wine is poured, and little plates are passed around for hours.  Some classes are pretty basic cuisines....e.g. Grilling or Pizza or Italian.  



geekette said:


> . . .
> Kids ...  we never got a voice and when mom made somethign she knew we hated, it woudl be a biga$$ spoonful of that glop as a No Thank You Helping.  and there would be no getting up from the table until your plate was cleaned.
> 
> I would have far preferred being allowed to make pbj than stare down a cold mass of gooey spinach with vinegar on it all night.   EVERY TIME she served that disgusting stuff I would get that sentence.  Yes, sentence.  I was punished for not wanting to ingest it.  Every time.  It's not like I would ever develop a fondness so would be punished for my tastebuds not being into it.  It made no sense to me then and still makes no sense.
> ...



Forcing the "clean your plate" rule is abusive.  One of my older sisters would help the other one out by cleaning the sister's plate when nobody was looking.  That rule was gone by the time I came along; Try was encouraged, and I liked the food, so it wasn't an issue.  I'm sure I could have gone in the kitchen and made a sandwich if I had really disliked whatever was served, but disturbing dinner to do so would never have occurred to me.  

My mom did the vinegar bit with Spinach too - also sliced hard-boiled-egg on top.  I like it....but can easily imagine that it would be super-disgusting to many people, especially if it had negative connotations of being forced to eat it.


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## glypnirsgirl (Apr 16, 2012)

ScoopLV said:


> And I wouldn't have settled down with anyone like that in the first place. Let _Mr. Kraft Mac and Cheese_ find _Ms. Kraft Mac and Cheese_ and they can live together in bland, boring, diabetic bliss. Away from me. FAR away from me, preferably. I have no patience for people like that. They're what's wrong with this country.



Yes, this would have been a deal-killer if I had known about it in advance. Luckily (because I am otherwise much happier in this marriage than the last). I didn't.

elaine


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## amycurl (Apr 16, 2012)

> Your descriptions fit me exactly. The phrase "intuitive cook" hadn't occurred to me, but that's just what I am. I remember being so frustrated in 10th grade Home Ec because we were to measure every little thing, so one day I brought in my own little baggie of mixed herbs for whatever we were cooking that day



To make sure that credit is given where credit is due, I'm pretty sure I picked up that phrase--intuitive cook--from someone here on TUG. And I forget now what the opposite was--the kind my DH is. But a light bulb went off for me, too. Ever since I was very young, I was always in charge of spices, even for my very-good-cook mother. I just had the palate and the, um, intuition for it. 

As for my own child, she has diverse and wide-ranging tastes, and always has. Sometimes, though, she "won't be in the mood" for something she usually likes, and really, don't we all get that way? My rule is that if it's new, she has to try one bite of it (otherwise, how does she know she doesn't like it?) If she serves herself a dish, then she has to finish it (because that's food waste, which is a high crime and misdemeanor in my family of origin.) And if she decides she doesn't like the main dish we're serving, and there are leftovers that are easily microwaved, she can have that (or, as she gets older, to make herself a PB&J....she's only five.)

Mostly, our issue is that she likes to dine in the grand European tradition---multi-course, hour+ meals are not a problem for her. But at home, she will dawdle over a regular dinner, and that will drive us bonkers, because she's using it as a way of delaying the going-to-bed routine. (That's gotten better as she's gotten older and we've gotten better at devising strategies to discourage it.) Luckily, pickiness in regards to the food is not an issue.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jul 29, 2012)

I have completely changed how I cook as a result of this thread.

I basically do mix and match cooking. And I am better at cooking what I have on hand. 

Now it is shopping that has become more of a chore. When I don't have a plan for what I am going to cook, it is hard for me to know what to buy. 

So now I just wander around the farmers market and/or produce section and buy what looks good to me. 

I don't think that my meals are as well balanced, but they are fresher. Yesterday I ate cherries and Canary melon. Had beef cut up with onions and peppers seasoned with thyme and paprika. The beef was good, not great. The cherries and Canary melon were fabulous. I only had one serving of beef left in the freezer so I made a mahi mahi filet for bonus son. 

Ian has gone off onto one of the neanderthal diets. Which he interprets to mean lots of sausage --- which has little appeal to me. 

One of the unexpected benefits of this is how it has improved my relationship with my bonus son. He and I have very similar tastes in food. And he is appreciative of having me cook for him ... and he is willing to return the favor. So, John and I are eating lots of fish and chicken which we both prefer. On the nights that I make pork chops or steak that are prepared in a way that Ian feels like is on his diet, he may join us. If he doesn't join us, John and I have leftovers.

We are all much happier. 

elaine


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## pjrose (Jul 29, 2012)

glypnirsgirl said:


> I have completely changed how I cook as a result of this thread.
> 
> I basically do mix and match cooking. And I am better at cooking what I have on hand.
> 
> ...



And all being much happier is a great result!


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## glypnirsgirl (Oct 4, 2012)

*use your iphone to find local fresh food*

I have been concentrating on trying to eat local fresh produce. 

My ex-husband sent me this link for Iphones for help in finding community food resources. Unfortunately, I do not have an iphone. I am more than a little technology challenged. 

Fred (my ex) thinks that it is a great app -- and it is free.

elaine


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## swift (Oct 5, 2012)

I have tons if healthy easy recipes that you can try. A few ideas off the top are Eggplant Parmesan, Quiche,and  Butternut Squash Casserole. Send me a PM if you want more.



Butternut Squash Casserole

2 lb. Butternut Squash, cubed
Olive Oil 
Kosher Salt
1 Yellow Onion, diced
4 Large White Mushrooms, chopped
3/4 pound Ground Turkey 
1 1/2 teaspoons Poultry Seasoning
1/2 teaspoon Salt
a few twists of Black Pepper
1/4 cup Pecans, chopped
1/4 cup Italian Blend Shredded Cheese

Preheat oven to 425. Place cubed squash on a baking sheet. Drizzle with a little olive oil and sprinkle with Kosher Salt. Toss to coat. Bake for 45 minutes turning 2 or 3 times during cooking. I cheated and bought already cubed & peeled squash from Costco (I've seen it at Trader Joe's, Fresh & Easy, regular supermarkets) because I value my fingers and butternut squash is a pain in the you-know-what to chop up. If you get the whole squash look for a medium one about 2 lbs in weight.

Saute onion and mushroom. Remove from pan and set aside. Brown turkey till no pink is seen. Add seasonings. Add onions, mushrooms, and pecans. Stir to combine. Remove from heat. 

When squash is done. Reduce oven to 350. Mix squash into turkey mixture. Place in a Pyrex casserole dish. Top with cheese. Bake for 20 minutes or until cheese melted and lightly browned.


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## Vacationtime101 (Oct 6, 2012)

*Great ideas for meals*

I found this food blog for great recipes:  


http://www.amusingfoodie.com/


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