# Is your wife tired of timeshares vacations



## jjking42 (Jun 26, 2011)

Last summer we had a great exchange to the Marriott Marco Island. Weather and beach were perfect and we had some great seafood.

I saw on my wife's Facebook a post like this. " Cleaning kitchen, doing laundry, getting ready to cook dinner, not much of a vacation for me."

We have had years and years of great vacations in time shares and she has never said this before.

I admit that I try to keep costs down and prefer to eat in the condo than go out. She is a great cook  and I prefer her cooking over going out. The main reason to go out is to give her a break. I try to go out to eat once or twice a week when on vacation. I can cook but not as good as she can and I cook mostly meat and potatoes.

I think part of the problem is the family loves beach vacations but she does not like to get wet. She loves to sit on the beach and read a book. So when its time to go have some wet and wild fun she says " you take the kids and I will stay and do laundry, cook etc"

So what has changed. When we first started time share vacations the kids were little and she was a stay at home mom. Now they are bigger 15,14,11 and vacationing with teenagers is not as much fun. Also she is working full time and does not get much down time during the week. She cant wait for the 15 year old son to get his drivers license.

I took her for a cruise without the kids to celebrate our 20th. She loved our alone time. Having the room made several times a day and not having to cook or do laundry made her week special.

Her other favorite time share vacations were going to NYC just the two of us, and staying at the Westin Maui with the family. We don't cook when we got to NYC and whats not to love about Maui.

So I have determined her first choice is to 
1 vacation with out the kids once a year
2 Go on a cruise or resort with maid service and dining.

So I guess I will rent my time shares for few years and try some other types of vacations.

I am the planner so I make all the vacation plans. So my plans for the next twelve months.

1. Go to Yellowstone staying in time share this summer. I will try to take her out to dinner more and do the laundry and cleaning my self.

2. Taking the whole family to her mothers house for Christmas. That should make her real happy. 

3. Taking our family on a cruise for spring break and invited her entire family to join us and they are coming. I think cruising with kids will be OK. As long as they don't complain too much

4. Don't know yet maybe a trip to NYC or a cruise for just the 2 of us.

Anyone care to recommend any timeshares with daily maid service and an abundance of reasonable restaurants near by.Or Perhaps your favorite all inclusive resorts.

I have sent her on vacation with just the girls but she prefers to travel with me. Its hard for us to get away alone. The nearest grand parents are 1500 miles away. 

So if your family lives close by consider yourself lucky.

Thanks
Jim


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## mpizza (Jun 26, 2011)

I am very touched by your post, you are a very loving and caring husband.  
I think you have an excellent plan, but I do have a few more ideas.

#1 Since your children are old enough, why not plan prior to vacation that on the 2-3 nights that you do not eat dinner out - the kid's cook.  You can shop, plan, cook while Mom is at the spa relaxing; and clean-up while she's relaxing on the veranda with a glass of wine.  On the day when you're taking the kids to Wet 'n Wild, tell your wife before you leave,  "DO NOT COOK, just stay at the beach and read" and you will bring dinner back to the unit.

#2 Everyone can be responsible for their own laundry - it's a great time to train them how to use a washing machine and dryer.  May even carry over to home  

#3 If your wife loves a spotless unit, pay extra for a full mid-week clean service.

Also, you may want to add to your travel wish list the Grand Mayans in Mexico as they do have daily maid service.

Maria


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## mecllap (Jun 26, 2011)

I think you can compromise on some of your destinations and find some places that you might both enjoy.  And, of course, you can pitch in and help with the cooking and especially the cleaning up and laundry.  (You may be aware that most of the "world-renowned" type chefs are men -- watch some Food Network shows, and broaden your skills).  I'm always surprised by posts I read on another board that most of the plans are about where to eat out -- for me, having the kitchen is great (but I cook pretty simple meals at home as well as when at a TS).  But, a lot (mabye most,  esp. when on vacation) of women do like the change of not having to be the one doing all the work of keeping everything going and in order.   Look for some less expensive but fun options for eating out.  The kids are certainly old enough to take responsibility for their own laundry, and even planning a meal and fixing it.

She may have just been having an off-moment when she posted that; I'm sure she enjoys your family vacations, but making a few adjustments are probably a good idea, so she can feel spoiled part of the time, too.  

Sounds like you've given it a lot of good thought -- have fun on all your future adventures.


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## Sandi Bo (Jun 26, 2011)

Yes, sounds like you have given this a lot of thought. 

I like the idea of bringing something back.  That is easy and less expensive than eating out.  And you and the kids can clean up afterwards.  I'd also guess a night or two of you cooking (even if it's not as good as her cooking) would be welcomed.

For me, I do not enjoy going out to eat when we are on vacation, especially when in large groups. We have done a couple fun things with our meals while vacationing.  

Our family vacations, are usually FAMILY vacations (for example 30ish people in 4 Condo's at Ocean Walk).  We take turns hosting meals.  Each family cooks a night, gets to be a competition.  I am fortunate that I only have to threaten to cook and my hubby jumps in.  When it was our condos turn everyone was pitching in, very proud to be part of the end product.  That takes care of at least 5 nights as we'll have a leftover night, too. We sometimes have an order in night, and a do your own thing night for people who do want to venture out (often an order in night for those of us who don't go out).

We have also gone to Hawaii with several other couples. The condo had grills.  We met at the grills with our own meat and a side dish to share.  Very easy, good company, and we would watch the sun set.  

Sounds like you have a fun spring break cruise planned. We have taken our gang of 30 on a 2 cruises.  Had a blast.  We had scheduled dinner time, cruises may be going away from that.  We always knew we'd see each other at dinner, usually watch the big show after dinner, made plans for the next day. Cousins had fun, actually got to be a little more challenging as they got older, don't want them running the ship.

Sounds like you have lots of fun things planned, and that your wife will enjoy some R&R and some family time, too.

Good luck!


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## Twinkstarr (Jun 26, 2011)

Okay I'm a wife with 2boys 15/10 and I still like timesharing. DH is the strategic planner and I do the tactical side of things. Plus we are both kind of like tossing those ongoing searches out and seeing what we get or debate on how we'll use our DVC/Wyndham points. 

But when we travel that's when we eat out, with the kids activities there is no time to go out for dinner 98% of the time during the rest of the year. DH wouldn't even think of asking me to make more than hot dogs or throw together a couple of  side dishes if does some grilling. I'll make sandwiches for lunch and we are a non cooked breakfast type of family. 

Plus if I do cook something DH washes up, like he does every night at home. Boys load dishwasher and set the table. 

I may do a load or two of laundry, in my former life I was a road warrior and learned how to pack. We did 17 days in Hawaii last summer, with 2 20" bags and 1 26" suitcase. I can pack for a week at WDW at Thanksgiving(with dicey weather, could be warm or you need long underwear) with 3-4 20" carryons for the 4 of use. Boys help with laundry on the road and at home. 

I don't mind the laundry because I hate looking at DH's  face if we check bags. Now if we drive I don't bother doing laundry, I'll just do it when we get home. 

We like the extra room we get in a timeshare, we get our own room and I get a bathroom I don't need to share with 2 boys. The boys get their own space and own beds. 

And we also have at least one "adult" dinner when we go out. Get the boys a pizza and we go to one of those places where according to the kids "it takes too long to eat."  Then a few evenings we may go and have a couple of adult beverages sans kids. 

I would love to cruise again, but I choke on the prices for 2 cabins(I'm looking at Alaska and the Baltic). Yikes on putting all 4 of us in just 1.


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## ausman (Jun 26, 2011)

*It's not all Bad.*

Jim,

You have a history. 20 years together. 

So, you could do better, and seems are trying to.

Sometimes things in life blind side us.

Doesn't mean the END, we all could improve. My wife will tell you that with emphasis.

Lots of things change over a 20 year period, sounds like she wants to be on vacation too, on a vacation.

I have leant to listen to my wife as otherwise things go bad in a hurry. 

Best regards to you, and Good Luck.


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## DeniseM (Jun 26, 2011)

Have a family meeting well before your next trip and put a plan in place to share the responsibilities.

Buy simple breakfast and lunch stuff and let everyone fend for themselves and clean up after themselves:

Breakfast -  Cereal, toast, bagels, juice, milk, & fruit.

Lunch - Sandwich stuff, chips, crackers, soft drinks, fruit.

Go out for dinner.

Every other night get take out for the kids - pizza, tacos, fast food, and go out to dinner with your wife.

Assign one of the kids to clean up the kitchen at the end of each day - although everyone should be cleaning up after themselves all the time.

Tell each child they have to do their own laundry.  If they don't - oh well.

Dad - You will have to make sure things get done, because if they don't, your wife will feel obligated to jump in and do it anyway.  Maybe take her for a walk, or for a cup of coffee, and tell the kids - when we get back in one hour, I expect X, Y, and Z to be done and then we will go to something fun.  It's not fun to come back to a mess at the end of the day - getting things straightened up before you leave for the day will make the end of the day much less stressful.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jun 26, 2011)

Hi - I am impressed at your willingness to change things up to make your wife happier. 

I think that cooking some of the meals with your boys is a great idea. Everyone needs to know how to cook. I suggest that y'all find some easy recipes that you practice before vacation. If your wife is working, I am sure that she would appreciate a break from time to time when she is not on vacation, too.

I do not cook during the week at home. I work late and my husband gets hungry early. I usually have a salad or sandwich for dinner. So, I love to cook while on vacation. I have 4 different dinner dishes that I make, all are easy and even you and/or your boys could handle them. 1) Grilled fish with broccoli and rice; 2) grilled chicken, macaroni salad or potato salad bought at the deli with fresh raw vegetables (I usually buy one of the pretty appetizer trays); 3) steaks, baked potatoes and salad (prewashed greens and using some of the vegetables from the appetizer tray for additional color); 4) porkchops marinated in orange juice, rosemary and worchestershire then grilled, Uncle Ben's wild rice, and snap peas. Every entree is grilled. I make the side dishes and set the timer for the side dishes that have to be cooked. Go down with a tray and grill the entree. All my husband has to do is turn off the heat and shut off the timer. (I don't know what I am going to do now that we are both vegans!)

I like this selection because nothing takes much hard grocery shopping. There are not a lot of ingredients to anything. 

I make these meals for as many people as we have going. 

My husband is shying away from timeshare vacations, also. He wants to go places like the Grand Canyon where there aren't any timeshares. I think that he will miss the kitchen.

Best wishes for reaching a solution that makes everyone happy.

elaine


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## glypnirsgirl (Jun 26, 2011)

And I really like Denise's ideas.

elaine


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## akp (Jun 26, 2011)

*Hi, Jim*

I just had a similar conversation with my husband tonight 

I am the planner of our trips, and I am the one who prefers to eat in most of the time because of the budget impact and hassle factor of eating out with 5.  Our kids are 12, 10, and 7.  

I told my husband tonight that on future trips, I would like eat dinner out on alternate nights.  It will give us more a taste for the destination to enjoy local restaurants, and will give me a break from the cooking which is my least favorite aspect of the job of being mom.  

My husband would be fine to eat in every meal (not that I'm a good cook but we make do) but he'd also be happy to go out every night, so it is simply a matter of me thinking through what will work best for me on our vacations and then doing it. 

I can't tell from your post if you've talked about this directly with your wife or are attempting to figure out on your own what will work best for her (ie, when you say "I've determined her first choice is...", I could interpret that either way.)  If you haven't talked to her, you should.  Together you'll come up with the plan that works the best for you both.

And this is slightly off topic, but if the kids aren't helping and doing chores at the timeshare, it is not too late   Our kids empty the dishwasher daily, whether at timeshare or at home.  We also do dinner clean up as a team.  I used to get ditched in the kitchen with the mess after dinner and I did not like that AT ALL.  So we made adjustments 

Good luck with the trips.  I do love the caring approach you took to your wife's facebook approach.  Unfortunately I think lots of people would have responded negatively instead of the loving and positive approach you've taken.


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## chellej (Jun 27, 2011)

It is tough when they get to be teenagers.  Our kids are now 24, 22 and 19 and when my oldest turned about 13 and really moody we started splitting the kids up and taking separate vacations (also we've had a long period of either DH or I have to stay with my parent(s))  It actually worked out very well.  One year DH & DD went to Yellowstone, one year DH DS 2 and DD went to colorado, another time I took the boys to Disney, DH & DS1 have gone to Idaho and Colorado,  DD and I have gone to hawaii multiple times.


In fact next week, DS1 , DH and I are going to Northern Idaho while DS2 stays and takes care of grandpa.  DD is in New Zealand for the summer.

DH and I try and get away for a week by ourselves and then we each go with one or 2 or all 3 of the kids depending. They are ok with it because they know they will get their turn too.  There is also less turmoil about what to do while on vacation because there are fewer voices to  please.

The kids always enjoyed the one on one time with either DH or myself, it has allowed us to work around everybody's schedule  and since we have plenty of timeshares it doesnt cost all that much more.

We don't eat out every meal but try and limit to eating out to once per day....sometimes twice but we rarely eat every meal out and we keep in room meals simple.

If you want some tips for yellowstone let me know....I've done that trip many times.


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## deh333 (Jun 27, 2011)

I am enjoying reading this thread.  

In our family, I say "mamma is on vacation too :whoopie: ."  so we have a pre-planning meeting.  It is everyone's understanding that breakfast and lunch are make-it-yourself, everyone is responsible for their own tidying-up, laundry, and one or two dinners and kitchen clean-ups.  At 10 and 13, my kids were responsible for planning and making a dinner of their choosing that includes a vegetable and a fruit.  The first time we did this, they chose hot dogs and mac and cheese.  Now, a few years later, we are having steak, taco salads, and pasta with (homemade)pesto . . . they're growing up!   Last vacation, I forgot the pre-planning thing, and one of my kids asked if he could please cook while away!!

-Liz


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## eal (Jun 27, 2011)

Great thread with so many good ideas!  When we are on vacation we really ratchet down our expectations for meals - we plan very simple and easy-to-fix meals, we buy ready-made food at Trader Joe's or Costco, and we eat out once or twice a week.


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## Passepartout (Jun 27, 2011)

It isn't just timeshares. I hesitate to put a number on the times I've seen some humongous motor home/bus thing going down the road and said to nobody in particular- "One of those people is retired and living their dream, and the other is cooking, cleaning, making beds just like always". 

I have wondered though about my DW. I am the 'domestic god' around here. I plan the TS vacations, do most of the cooking, and operate the household. This year, DW hasn't given me a set of dates when she wants to take a TS vacation. She has some pressure and commitments- like taking care of her 95 y.o. dad 1500 miles away, overseeing a symphony orchestra, serving her clients in a busy, one person law office, and riding herd on me. So far this year there have been 2 cruises- including 13 nights to Europe, 3 trips East to look after 'dad', and 2 seminars of up to a week. I like the cruises far more than I ever thought I would- I'm not a real dress-up kind of guy.

It just seems like she'd rather take other types of vacations than TS ones. In fact when I bring it up, she starts in on wanting me to plan vacations where she can invite her grown kids/grandkids. Dealing with multiple units and school holidays, and we all know how hard that is.

This thread is striking a little close to home, so I find it interesting. 

Keep it up...

Jim Ricks


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## pwrshift (Jun 27, 2011)

I fully agree with your wife.  TS holidays are not holidays for those who still have to do the same kind of chores they do at home.  I'm an empty nester and hate how messy my beds look each day if I even make them and resent how much TS resorts feel they can charge for daily or Every other day tidy services.  It was ok when the kids were there as they helped out a little but now I like valet parking, twice daily maid service with chocolates, fresh towels, room service, restaurants downstairs and just out the door, etc.  You earned it, why save it all and make your kids rich?  I'd rather take a dog than teens as most teens don't even want to go on holidays with the family.  Grrrrrr

If the wage earner gets a break from the office so should the homemaker.


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## ampaholic (Jun 27, 2011)

*I resemble that remark*



Passepartout said:


> It isn't just timeshares. I hesitate to put a number on the times I've seen some humongous motor home/bus thing going down the road and said to nobody in particular- "One of those people is retired and living their dream, and the other is cooking, cleaning, making beds just like always".
> -snip-



I used to take the DW on vacation in a 40 foot converted bus - it had everything a 1 bedroom timeshare has (even a washer / dryer) but I got tired of the driving of a huge RV back and forth across the USA.

So we tried timesharing and DW loved it as did I - and now we have seven of the little buggers.

I love some of the ideas presented here. When we are on vacation we eat breakfast in the Tshare, we are usually out and about so lunch is catch as catch can (we love finding a edgy Bistro) and we eat out about 50% of the dinners, with 25% BBQ and 25% DW and I cooking together.

I usually clean up the kitchen, just like at home and DW usually takes care of the laundry, just like at home - that has always been our division of labor

I think I have it way easier now on vacation since I don't get worn out driving the bus around. She like it better since when we travel we can visit in the Buick or AA seats, she always thought it best not to bother me when I was driving the bus.


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## chriskre (Jun 27, 2011)

jjking42 said:


> I saw on my wife's Facebook a post like this. " Cleaning kitchen, doing laundry, getting ready to cook dinner, not much of a vacation for me.".........
> 
> I think part of the problem is the family loves beach vacations but she does not like to get wet. She loves to sit on the beach and read a book.
> 
> ...



Jim,

Darn that Facebook.  You find out all sorts of stuff.   

You're such a good hubby.  Glad to see you are thinking about your wife's happiness.  

A few suggestions:  

Seems like she might enjoy a few city stays.   How about San Antonio, San Francisco, London, Paris.  Lots to see and do with great restaurant choices and there are TS's there.  I think you'll need to pay for daily maid service but might be worth taking it for a few days.  

Definitely keep taking her cruising.  You might want to consider getting the kids their own cabin so she doesn't have to deal with their mess.  Alaska might appeal to her since she's not beach oriented.  

How about staying at Disney DVC and taking the meal plan.  You could also get a nice 2 bedroom lock off and lock off the kids to their own side so she could have some alone time with you.  The kids are old enough to go off on their own and with Disney transport it's safe for them to wander.  The pools are nice if she just wants to hang out at the resort.  

For beach places how about Ft. Lauderdale at maybe Beachplace or Ft. Laud beach resort, Golden Strand in Sunny Isles or HGVC South beach where you could get your fill of the beach and she would have lots of nice restaurants and sights to keep her happy too.  

I'm sure any of the All Inclusives are nice and would get you both what you want in a vacation if you're taking the kids with you for a beach vacation.  Don't have any suggestions though on TS's as I've only done regular resorts with All Inclusives.


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## vacationhopeful (Jun 27, 2011)

You have made a assumption that your wife likes to read on the beach. That sight of her reading for years while the kids play at the beach may be a leftover from having to be with them at the beach.

If given a choice, my sister with 3 boys would be asleep in her bed with a pillow over her head til noon. 

And she sends individual boys with me for week long stays or trips. She likes how it changes the tempo of the remaining 2 boys - throws them off their normal whining.

And since the oldest two have been 2 and 4 yo, all these 3 boys make Xmas morning breakfast for the parents. Last 8+ years, it is several different quiches and muffins with table service at 9AM. That has been 14 years .... it has been the best way to start Christmas Day .... a real treat to Mom.


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## pgnewarkboy (Jun 27, 2011)

I think it is a great idea to take a vacation from timeshare vacations.  Timeshare vacations are great but they have their limits.  I think a cruise, or a tour would push the re-set button for you and your wife.

I have been married 40 years (to the same women ) and the re-set button has been a very good idea for us.   Take a step back and re-evaluate what you are doing with your vacations and make a change just for the sake of making a change.  

Pushing the re-set button was how we got into timeshares in the first place.  This year, however, we took a guided tour to Italy and will not be using any of our timeshares. Next year hopefully it will be an extended cruise . Our children are older so we basically gave the points to them to use as they wish.


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## kenie (Jun 27, 2011)

When we were at the Royal Haciendas in May we actually ate out a lot more than we had origionally planned to. We would have breakfast in the room and a sandwich for lunch if we weren't in Playa or somewhere for the day.
I think we (DW) only cooked supper 4 or 5 times in the 2 weeks we were there. It was too nice having that short cab ride or shuttle into Playa....
Maid service 6 days a week and I did dishes and laundry. Rhonda was more than happy to sit under a palapa and read all day.


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## cindi (Jun 27, 2011)

Neither DH or myself likes to cook. So that is definitely out when we are on vacation.

We do the simple breakfast stuff in, like cereal, toast, bagels, etc.  Lunch is out wherever we happen to be.  

Depending, we will either eat every supper out, though certainly not at all fine dining.    Or we have been known to get a pre made dinner, or frozen family type meals and alternate those for supper.  Nothing at all difficult.

Laundry really isn't much of a big deal.  We pack very light and throw in something into the washing machine when we leave and put it in the dryer when we get back.

We are on vacation.


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## tombo (Jun 27, 2011)

pgnewarkboy said:


> I think it is a great idea to take a vacation from timeshare vacations.  Timeshare vacations are great but they have their limits.  I think a cruise, or a tour would push the re-set button for you and your wife.
> 
> I have been married 40 years (to the same women ) and the re-set button has been a very good idea for us.   Take a step back and re-evaluate what you are doing with your vacations and make a change just for the sake of making a change.
> 
> Pushing the re-set button was how we got into timeshares in the first place.  This year, however, we took a guided tour to Italy and will not be using any of our timeshares. Next year hopefully it will be an extended cruise . Our children are older so we basically gave the points to them to use as they wish.




I understand both of your positions but I look at it slightly differently as I am one stage away from you. Our kids are older. 

We ate in the room most meals only eating out one or 2 dinners and 2 or 3 lunches to save money. My wife did most of the cooking but did not SEEM to mind much because we were all together for the meals, something that was hard to do on a regular basis at home as they became teenagers. We went to the beach as a family, the mountains, snow skiing, white water rafting, etc, etc, etc. 

My kids called it triple F time (forced family fun). Going on the family vacations was not an option, however they could bring friends if it was a drive to vacation and we had room. I remember one Christmas morning as we were getting ready to go snow skiing at Heavenly Valley in Lake Tahoe my daughter said it was so unfair that she couldn't be at home for Christmas and exchange gifts with her boyfriend. 

My daughter is a talented writer and has a blog page where she posts about her rescue mission where she saves unwanted dogs and finds them a home. Here is what she wrote about vacations on father's day.

"My dad loves to travel, and every year, we’d take a big family vacation. I was often annoyed on these trips, because vacation with my dad isn’t always “vacation.” It’s a little like boot camp, in a cool location. It was always: Wake up early, follow the itinerary, go-go-go, see-see-see, etc. But it wasn’t worth it to complain, because then I’d have to listen to Dad say, “Aww. I feel so bad for you. Your dad took you on a nice trip and forced you to do fun things. It’s such a tough life. Your mean daddy should be in jail for taking you to Lake Tahoe.” I couldn’t really argue with that, but I hated when he was right…


As an adult, I can really appreciate those trips we took, because I could never afford them now. And a lot of our favorite family memories were made on some of Dad’s crazy vacations."


Many of my greatest memories of us as a family are from our times on vacations, and as my kids have gotten older they agree. 

Now my daughter is married and my son is married and in Med school. As they hit college Triple F time became very rare. Now it is virtually non existent. All of our vacations are just the two of us. We eat out pretty often for lunch and supper because it does not save that much cooking for two. I would love to have one or two more Triple F vacations. That time has sadly passed. 

Before you know it your time will pass too. The 11 year old will be in college and married in the blink of an eye. If you live long enough there will be plenty of time for vacations with just you and your wife. There are only a few years that you get to spend together as a family. Enjoy each and every one of them because when they are gone they are gone forever.


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## Twinkstarr (Jun 27, 2011)

tombo said:


> I understand both of your positions but I look at it slightly differently as I am one stage away from you. Our kids are older.
> 
> We ate in the room most meals only eating out one or 2 dinners and 2 or 3 lunches to save money. My wife did most of the cooking but did not SEEM to mind much because we were all together for the meals, something that was hard to do on a regular basis at home as they became teenagers. We went to the beach as a family, the mountains, snow skiing, white water rafting, etc, etc, etc.
> 
> ...



:hysterical: I remember my parents saying the same sort of thing to my sister when we were younger, as she was the typical sulky teen. You know she still doesn't appreciate all the places my parents took us(this includes more than one trip to Europe and a few cruises.)


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## MommaBear (Jun 27, 2011)

I love this thread! Thank you all for thinking of the Moms and what they need. :whoopie:  I think having the kids do their own laundry is a great idea. It is a life skill they will need when they go off on their own in a few years. 

I personally never minded cooking, but I hated the planning, so each person got to chose a menu and worked with me to learn how to make it. We never did fast food at home, so a delivered pizza was always a winner, as was KFC. DH and I also would go out and leave the teens home with take out and junk food. We also used paper plates and paper napkins. I think the mid week clean is a great investment. 

Each person also got to research and plan an activity that they wanted to do during the week. For the most part, the expecation was that all would participate. I hate mini golf so I always sat that one out. It certainly was more difficult when the kids were teenagers and more opinionated.

Vacation with your wife without the kids is a great refresher to a marriage. A cruise is perfect because you can be as active or as relaxed as you want and every thing is done for you. We were not lucky enough to have family who could step in, but summer camp for the kids worked well. They got to choose the theme of their camp, so they were happy. There are some really cool camps for teenagers, from computers to acting to outdoor sports to music themed camps. My LA neices always went to farm camp.

We've been married for 34 years and still love going on our TS vacations. We mix it up by changing locations and changing whether it is a busy go-go-go vacation or a quiet location. Our kids still love traveling with us so much that they have actually planned a mystery trip for Christmas this year- we get a packing list a month ahead and get a package with our travel arrangements the night before we leave! All the training paid off, as they are planning EVERYTHING.  

Best of wishes for finding the best solutions for you and your wife. She is a lucky woman to have a husband who will think of what she needs. As important as children are in our lives and often have to be our priority, it is our spouse who is with us forever. A marriage takes nuturing.


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## tombo (Jun 27, 2011)

Posting the excerpt about our vacations prompted me to start a new thread. Read the thread on the lounge I started about my daughter's foster dog rescue mission and vote there or you can vote here. PLEASE VOTE and get everyone you know to VOTE for my daughter's rescue mission which fosters dog that would be killed until they can be found homes. It costs nothing to vote and you can help save many dog's lives..
http://www.care2.com/animalsheltercontest/8102/3/


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## glypnirsgirl (Jun 27, 2011)

Ian and I are very lucky. All of our children are grown (29 - 24) and they all still are happy going on vacation with us - they even request family vacations. 

We have done simple things like driving to the Texas coast and fishing, walking along the beach, etc. Our most frequent family vacation is to Walt Disney World. Our next trip will be May, 2012. 

I am planning on doing most of the cooking. Hmmm...

elaine


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## akp (Jun 27, 2011)

*This is it:*



tombo said:


> Before you know it your time will pass too. The 11 year old will be in college and married in the blink of an eye. If you live long enough there will be plenty of time for vacations with just you and your wife. There are only a few years that you get to spend together as a family. Enjoy each and every one of them because when they are gone they are gone forever.



This is why we bought a timeshare 

As many others have said, I love this thread.  Great ideas, love, memories, and kindness.


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## rickandcindy23 (Jun 27, 2011)

Yes, this is a great thread, very thoughtful, and also thought provoking.  

When the kids were growing up, we had very little money, saving for college and taking care of their constant needs of clothes, food and the rest.  I felt our vacations were not a vacation for me, but we had a timeshare and saved money by using the kitchen.  We took my mother-in-law with us, when the kids were little, and she helped with the kids, and we went out a few times, just the two of us, but mostly we cooked.  

I have to admit, Rick did the most cooking on vacation.  Now he does all of the cooking on vacation.  :rofl: If we eat in, he cooks all or most of it. He won't make salad or vegetables, since he is not fond of those.  He will only eat broccoli, and not much of it.  He tolerates eating salad.   

He is a firefighter, and he cooks for a crowd at the firehouse about once per week.  He was a cook and kitchen manager at Village Inn for three years before he became a firefighter.  He doesn't mind cooking, and he also cleans up.  We don't eat in much, though.  On Maui next trip, we will go to Fish and Chips places and Outback, and there are some other places we want to try.  I doubt we will eat in at all, except eggs and bacon every day.


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## stmartinfan (Jun 27, 2011)

My kids are slightly older now, but I can relate to your wife's sentiments. When I was working full time, dealing with tweens and the demands that their busy schedules put on my time, and handling most of the cooking/cleaning/laundry at home, spending a week at a timeshare doing many of the same things wasn't much of a vacation!  I was generally the one "in charge" of all the details at home plus the trip, like keeping the kitchen stocked, getting the bags packed, figuring out the activities, and navigating the all-too-frequent battles between our kids.  

When it was finally vacation time, I just wanted a break from "owning" all the little things in life both at work and home.  It was both about the physical tasks and the mental ownership of it all.  Like you, we didn't have any options except having our kids go on vacations with us, so vacations were always the whole family.

I'm not hesitant to speak up, so my husband and I worked out some compromises that worked for us, including eating out more and more "take in" meals.  That said, it got easier as the kids got older, and I still cherish all those vacations. 

I think the best thing you can do is ask your wife what would make vacations better for her!  And suggesting some options is great, because that means you take the responsibility, instead making that her job, too.


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## sail27bill (Jun 27, 2011)

Jim--what a nice thought provoking thread. All I could think of when reading it is how much your description of your wife resembles me.  Timesharing is fun, but I am the one that is usually cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc.  so at times it can be hard.  However, my family prefers I cook, and I like to eat out dinners, so we compromise.  At least 3 dinners in (plus all breakfasts and a few lunches) but the rest out.  It isn't always easy to eat out as my daughter cannot eat greasy, unhealthy food or she will get sick, so we have to plan where we are going to eat.  I have even frozen my cooking and brought it with us so I can be ready with some homecooked meals at a moments notice, especially for her sake.

Resorts with grills are our best friends as this is the only time my husband cooks, so I make the most out of it.  I am not sure how handy you are at grilling, but it really helps me out as I get some time to veg. 

My husband has been trying to get me to go on a vacation by ourselves, and next year for our 18th anniversary, we will be going somewhere in the caribbean.  I have come to realize that I love my children, but finally we need to be alone for a week.  When I told them (they are 15 and 10) their answer was "why can't we come".  I think it is wonderful that you are really going out of your way to make your wife happy, but I am sure that she already is.  I am positive that her post was probably speaking from an off moment. We all have those sometimes.  I wish you the best of luck and many more happy memories to come.

Anita


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## pkyorkbeach (Jun 27, 2011)

We are new to TS...When I go on vacation I do not like to cook because it is MY vacation too!!!.  We went a few weeks ago alone just the two of us to Maine in a TS.  I did not cook.  We purchased items for breakfast, paper plates and cups so I did not wash any dishes.  It was a relaxing vacation for me as well as DH.


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## l2trade (Jun 27, 2011)

Great thread!  When we first started timesharing, we maximized the luxury of having a kitchen and washing machine.  

Nowadays, I try to pack enough clothes to minimize laundry chores.  It is easier to wash clothes at home, much larger capacity.  Plus, it eliminates the risk of ruining our favorite clothes in the timeshare machine.

As for the kitchen, we buy less groceries.  Less food in the unit = more spontaneous and frequent eating out.  Sometimes we will visit the grocery store several times during the week and buy easy prep stuff for specific meals in mind, so we don't overbuy.  I don't like wasting food, so if we buy too much, I feel like we've got to eat all our meals in to avoid wasting food.  We are saving enough money with timesharing that I don't mind splurging on some nice and relaxing meals.


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## jjking42 (Jun 27, 2011)

chellej said:


> It is tough when they get to be teenagers.  Our kids are now 24, 22 and 19 and when my oldest turned about 13 and really moody we started splitting the kids up and taking separate vacations (also we've had a long period of either DH or I have to stay with my parent(s))  It actually worked out very well.  One year DH & DD went to Yellowstone, one year DH DS 2 and DD went to colorado, another time I took the boys to Disney, DH & DS1 have gone to Idaho and Colorado,  DD and I have gone to hawaii multiple times.
> 
> 
> In fact next week, DS1 , DH and I are going to Northern Idaho while DS2 stays and takes care of grandpa.  DD is in New Zealand for the summer.
> ...



would love some tips this is our first trip there
staying at island park


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## MOXJO7282 (Jun 27, 2011)

When we go on vacation we probably do 50/50 eat out/eat in. We load up at a Costco if possible and eat very well preparing meals but do like to enjoy our favorite restaurants  when vacationing.

We share the cooking duties on vacation, but I do more because I'm the griller in the family and we mostly are grilling when on vacation and I also do it to give my wife a break because she does do the cooking at home as a stay at home mom.

We like to prepare a fancy meal or two for our selves like surf and turf which is still much cheaper than eating out. When we do eat out we usually have left overs for another meal, and alot of meals are quick sandwiches made or bought. 

Same with breakfast, some mornings just yogurt and cereals, and a few breakfasts out for pancakes or the like.

Overall we tend to be creatively thrifty, but eat very well for the money.

Same with the adult beverages. I drink almost daily on vacation, my wife not so much but still it would add up if we didn't "drink in" so to speak. 

An 18 pack of Bud is less than $20, and the wine my wife drinks is $10 a bottle. A Bud at dinner is $4 or more and wine $6 or more, so drinking in can save quite alot of money. I would say with the pina coladas we also make we save $120+ a vacation "drinking in".


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## jjking42 (Jun 27, 2011)

Wow great response

I am not assuming anything. I talk to my wife about everything. She is my best friend, but I cant read her mind and sometimes I have to pry things from her. She does not like to complain or spend money. She is a real keeper.

She wants to vacation with just me and with the kids in a separate cabin on a cruise. And of course go to her moms house in Tahoe. 

We envy those that can leave the kids with Family and go out whenever they want. We have never been that lucky. Now that the boys are older we can leave the kids at home for a date night. For years it was Friday night date night with a baby sitter.

Teenagers are tougher than we thought and we have great kids. Straight A students and Eagle scouts etc. But still Lazy, moody, grumbling and grunting when they should be speaking. And taxi cab duty can get really old.

They do lots of work around the house. We have a chore list and they do it or get grounded. Once they enter the 6th grade they have to pack their own lunch and do their own laundry. But with 3 kids in the house she will never come home to a tidy house. They cant breathe without leaving something laying out.

Maybe we should start chore list on vacations !!!!!! 

I can grill and cook but not the diet friendly stuff she wants. Not many greens or colors in my cooking. I think Rick and I should go out for a Steak.

Rather than keep cost down and take more vacations. I think we will spend more per trip but take less vacations. Spending more on dining and maid service.

She loves coming back to a Cabin/Room that has been cleaned and beds turned down. The first thing she said after we got back from our cruise was " I miss Clifton" (the room steward).


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## CapriciousC (Jun 27, 2011)

MommaBear said:


> I love this thread! Thank you all for thinking of the Moms and what they need. :whoopie:  I think having the kids do their own laundry is a great idea. It is a life skill they will need when they go off on their own in a few years.



Everyone has made such great points so far, but I really wanted to add to MommaBear's comment above.  Having the kids do their own laundry and help with the cooking will help everyone out - your wife gets a break, and the kids learn something they really need to know.  

Throughout college and graduate school, I had a number of roommates (of both genders) who could not cook, do their own laundry, balance a checkbook, change a tire, etc.  Sooner or later all baby birds have to leave the nest, and the better prepared they are, the more successful they'll be.  

You're a very considerate husband - your wife is lucky to have you


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## Elan (Jun 27, 2011)

Interesting thread.  When we go to our "home" resort, we still have many of the chores that we do at home, but we really don't mind.  I actually look forward to being able to cook on vacation because it gives me time to do things that aren't that practical on the typical hectic weeknight.   Plus, we tend to do a lot of fun foods (appetizers, etc) that we seldom take time to do at home.    If we are out and about, we definitely eat out, and that's fun too.  Always nice to try different restaurants.  

  Personally, I don't mind any of the laundry or cleaning stuff, either.  It just seems like such an insignificant portion of the overall vaction time that it doesn't bother me.  But not having the W/D in the unit can be a drag.  

  I really just enjoy being away from work and getting to spend all week with my family.


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## sfwilshire (Jun 27, 2011)

I told my husband on our last vacation it was just like home .... he cooks and I clean up and do laundry. It's OK though. That's a small part of the day and I'd otherwise be watching tv or reading. 

We don't cook anything elaborate and the cleaning is minimal. I'd much prefer a "home" cooked meal than waiting in line at a restaurant after driving there. I also hate coming home with a ton of dirty laundry. If I wash a load or two every day, I might have one tiny laundry bag full when we get home.

Sheila


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## eal (Jun 27, 2011)

When my son was 15 and my daughter 13 we went on a three-week family vacation in a huge 5th wheel to Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks.  We hiked and did a short backpack to our private geyser basin.  We relaxed by the water at Jackson Lake and admired the Toyota Rav4 ad in Time Magazine which used the exact same view of the mountains that we were looking at.  The weather was fantastic, day after day.  The kids moaned and complained THE ENTIRE TIME!  

When we got home I vowed never to take them with me on a vacation, ever again, and I stuck to it for 10 years.  My husband and I soon sold the 5th wheel and got into timesharing big time.  Oh did those kids come crawling back after we had a few slide shows of Hawaii, California, Arizona, Quebec, etc. etc.  

Now we take each offspring and partner on a timeshare vacation at least once a year, and we hear no complaints!  In short I love timesharing.


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## chellej (Jun 27, 2011)

Jim

I sent you a PM  Let me know if you need more info


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## rickandcindy23 (Jun 27, 2011)

Everyone talks about cleaning while on vacation.  I don't clean anything, except the dishes and counters.  Rick and I work together on laundry.  Those little washer/dryers don't hold much.  

I don't even make the bed, because I see no reason to make it, and I would just as soon not have the bedspread back up on my pillow.  And my nightstand on vacation is piled with books, my medications, nail polish, etc., and I don't care.   

My MIL (Rick's stepmom, as his dear mother died in 1997) thinks it's weird I don't make the bed.  She knows how clean my house is, so she doesn't get why I am not like that on vacation.   It's vacation! 

When we stay at Shearwater, there is not one cupboard for food.  So I pile it mostly on top of the refrigerator.  Another thing my MIL doesn't get.  I also put canned goods on the counter.  Okay, so I am a slob on vacation.


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## glypnirsgirl (Jun 27, 2011)

rickandcindy23 said:


> Everyone talks about cleaning while on vacation.  I don't clean anything, except the dishes and counters.  Rick and I work together on laundry.  Those little washer/dryers don't hold much.
> 
> I don't even make the bed, because I see no reason to make it, and I would just as soon not have the bedspread back up on my pillow.  And my nightstand on vacation is piled with books, my medications, nail polish, etc., and I don't care.
> 
> ...



That is so funny! I am a slob at home and a real neatnik on vacation. I would love to be a neatnik full time, I am just not willing to give up my computer. My laptop is not nearly as much fun as my ergotronic/perfect chair combo that I have at home.


elaine


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## Tia (Jun 27, 2011)

Mention you read facebook and ask what would be the perfect vacation or improve them.

 Only cooking I do on vacation is reheat good leftovers, morning coffee and slice cheese/sausage for crackers in cooler or before going out to eat later. There was once frozen pizza in Mexico via the oven . Many years no laundry even for 2 weeks beach vacation. My parents several times offered to come out (1100miles) and sit with our 2 kids so other half and I could go on vacation, very nice. 

Have a friend who cooks full breakfast for her teens, eggs benedict, even at home during the week   Each to their own.


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## cgeidl (Jun 27, 2011)

*Wife loves to clean*

We vacation about 90 days a year and go three days or more each month. Many staycations. Now we are in Ca and will go to SF for a week this Saturday. My wife cleans constantly and if there is a small spot immediately has to take care of it.Even in hotels or timeshares with daily cleaning she still cleans every day. I have encouraged her to get a weekly cleaner and she has tried a couple times but they are not up to her standards.I guess she may have a harmless compulsive cleaning disorder.I don't mention going to therapy or I might get all the work.
I plan most all the trips and often frequently use timeshares. I cook all breakfasts and do help with the dishes about half the time. We go out to eat 5 or 6 timess a week even when home. Usually one or two nice dinners and the rest are inexpensive lunches.I do no washing or ironing but volunteer but my efforts never live up to my wife's perfection scale so this is her preference and chore.We are both 71 and her cleaning standars continue to rise.


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## Twinkstarr (Jun 27, 2011)

Tia said:


> Have a friend who cooks full breakfast for her teens, eggs benedict, even at home during the week   Each to their own.



Wow! What time does she have to get up? High School 1st period bell here is 7:40am, bus at 6:50 am. 

Now I do make muffins from scratch for the boys every so often but I do that at my leisure and if they want it warm they can zap it in the micro.


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## chellej (Jun 27, 2011)

glypnirsgirl said:


> That is so funny! I am a slob at home and a real neatnik on vacation. I would love to be a neatnik full time, I am just not willing to give up my computer. My laptop is not nearly as much fun as my ergotronic/perfect chair combo that I have at home.
> 
> 
> elaine



Me too.... What I like most about timeshares are that there is no clutter so it is easier to keep neat.  I make the beds on vacation because that is part of the vacation illusion that I am neat and tidy.

And when I go back home...messy is the norm....I HATE to clean


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## am1 (Jun 27, 2011)

So far no one has mentioned that you could always leave her at home.  Just take the kids with you or go with the guys.


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## ampaholic (Jun 27, 2011)

am1 said:


> So far no one has mentioned that you could always leave her at home.  Just take the kids with you or go with the guys.




Kersplat....eom

:hysterical:


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## ageofaudio (Jun 27, 2011)

Of course she is


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## Steve (Jun 27, 2011)

Hi Jim,

In your original post, you asked about timeshare resorts with daily maid service.  Here are three great resorts that feature this:

Four Seasons Aviara
Four Seasons Scottsdale
Hyatt Grand Aspen

After staying at the Four Seasons resorts on exchanges, I liked them so much that I purchased resale weeks at each of them. It really is nice to come home to an immaculate villa every night on vacation!

Steve


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## chellej (Jun 27, 2011)

am1 said:


> So far no one has mentioned that you could always leave her at home.  Just take the kids with you or go with the guys.



Actually...see post number 11.... DH has gone with just the kids quite often and it is actually really really nice to be at home alone without them sometimes too


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## rickandcindy23 (Jun 27, 2011)

glypnirsgirl said:


> That is so funny! I am a slob at home and a real neatnik on vacation. I would love to be a neatnik full time, I am just not willing to give up my computer. My laptop is not nearly as much fun as my ergotronic/perfect chair combo that I have at home.
> 
> 
> elaine



Part of my slobbiness on vacation is my concern at leaving things in my nightstand, or in the drawer of the bathroom, etc.  I have been losing things of late, and I am only 56.   

We lost some things on the airplane or in the airport on Kauai this last time.  FOUR items: a travel pillow I loved, both of our noise cancelling headphones, and a travel blanket.  I felt foolish.  We were so worried about Mom this past trip, we just left our stuff somewhere.  

Rick and I feel like total space cases lately.  If I don't tuck things away, I know I cannot leave them.


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## Texasbelle (Jun 27, 2011)

*Technology*

We have never needed Facebook to communicate our feelings.  We used to have a problem with one of us planning a vacation and the other griping.  So we stopped that when we realized what was happening!!!  I like to take a meal ready to cook or reheat for the first night and something for breakfast [assuming no breakfast get together at the timeshare].  This week DH bought groceries while I unpacked.  We prefer lunch out and something simple at the condo for dinner.  Part of the enjoyment of being in a different place is sampling the different restaurants.  I don't clean much on vacation--daughter leaves the timeshare cleaner than it was when she came.  Yes, everyone should pitch in so all can have fun.  I love the FFF terminology.


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## jjking42 (Jun 27, 2011)

am1 said:


> So far no one has mentioned that you could always leave her at home.  Just take the kids with you or go with the guys.



She is Ok with that too.  A nice peaceful week at home with no mess. I am going to try taking the kids on a cruise with out her.


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## jjking42 (Jun 27, 2011)

Steve said:


> Hi Jim,
> 
> In your original post, you asked about timeshare resorts with daily maid service.  Here are three great resorts that feature this:
> 
> ...


Great information
I will try to get in to one of these sometime
Do all the hyatt have daily maid service ?


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## cindi (Jun 27, 2011)

chellej said:


> Me too.... What I like most about timeshares are that there is no clutter so it is easier to keep neat.  I make the beds on vacation because that is part of the vacation illusion that I am neat and tidy.
> 
> And when I go back home...messy is the norm....I HATE to clean



Exactly! I do the same thing.  It is the only time in my life that everything is neat and orderly.  I just can't keep up with it at home.


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## BocaBum99 (Jun 27, 2011)

jjking42 said:


> Last summer we had a great exchange to the Marriott Marco Island. Weather and beach were perfect and we had some great seafood.
> 
> I saw on my wife's Facebook a post like this. " Cleaning kitchen, doing laundry, getting ready to cook dinner, not much of a vacation for me."
> 
> ...



I think you could be making a huge mistake.  You are acting like a typical male.  You think you know what the problem is and now you are trying to solve it.

Instead of changing the plan, why don't you have one of your wife's best friends ask her how it's going and report back to you what she says and what she actually wants?  Then, let her come up with some ideas and you job is to say "yes, dear.  Sounds great."


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## Kona Lovers (Jun 27, 2011)

Such a great thread, indeed.

Our situation is actually sort of reversed.  DW wants to get things and cook at the TS, I say we're on vacation, eat out, take a break.  We end up mostly eating out, and doing some cooking in the unit, but after 32 years, she's coming around.


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## MuranoJo (Jun 27, 2011)

You may have a point Boca--I've seen this trait in my hubby.   

Anyway, on vacation, regardless if in a fully loaded timeshare--I want to eat out as often as possible, because we simply don't do that at home, and I like to sample the local cuisine.  So it's usually breakfast in the unit, lunch may be packed to go, or stop wherever, and dinner out most nights.

My hubby prefers home-cooked meals and hates the prices of dining out ("We could have made this at home for $15."), but he also does a lot of the cooking.


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## ausman (Jun 27, 2011)

BocaBum99 said:


> Instead of changing the plan, why don't you have one of your wife's best friends ask her how it's going and report back to you what she says and what she actually wants?  Then, let her come up with some ideas and you job is to say "yes, dear.



This is a thread worth reading, I've appreciated the viewpoints and will try to be better also. Boca probably nailed it, check with her, indirectly or directly.


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## Steve (Jun 27, 2011)

jjking42 said:


> Great information
> I will try to get in to one of these sometime
> Do all the hyatt have daily maid service ?



No, the only Hyatt that has daily maid service as far as I know is the location in Aspen.  It's more of a true luxury resort than most of the other Hyatts.

Steve


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## pjrose (Jun 28, 2011)

Interesting thread.  

No, I am not at all tired of TS vacations; in fact I wish I were at our TS right now, except that DD is bored with it and doesn't have enough time off from her year-round school, so DS (21) went and the rest of us are at home.  

To address the main topic of the thread, at home DH and I pretty much share the housekeeping (such as it is) and cooking. The kids are not useful - they are old enough to be, but unfortunately we didn't get them in the habit when they were littler.  

At our TS we do a combination of eat-out, take-out/order-in, and light cooking.  For example we'll get a rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes or rice and salad.  Then for another meal we'll take the leftover chicken and saute it with some sliced onion and chili powder and garlic, heat beans and tortillas, make rice, and put out salsa, grated cheese, sour cream, and maybe guacamole and chips to end up with (assembling all the stuff is kind of a pain).  We'll usually cook the bones and skin and some onion and carrot, strain, and toss in the leftover rice and chicken bits for soup, or just use the broth for rice.  Take-out ribs are another favorite, as is pizza.  Three take-out nights + leftovers pretty much gets us through the week, and if/when we do go out there're almost always doggie bags for lunch.  Breakfast is do-it-yourself cereal and/or toast.  Lunch is generally ordered at the pool/beach.   

We've done Thanksgiving and Christmas by getting a marinated boneless turkey breast or pork tenderloin and putting it in the oven, and nuking pre-made mashed potatoes, gravy, and some vegs, and then a bakery pie or ice cream for dessert.  We've used a potted plant (fake or not) for a Christmas tree more than once 

Cleaning is limited to picking up our stuff, keeping the kitchen tidy and running the dishwasher, and, if there's a jacuzzi, running it through a "clean cycle" with some clorox, then a rinse without, before using it.

We are usually at the Royals, which have daily maid service and are much cleaner than our own house.  When elsewhere, I just don't worry about it. 

The only thing I don't like is packing/unpacking and traveling.  We take too much stuff (my list is way too long) and I hate to fly.


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## tombo (Jun 28, 2011)

Everyone is different. I am sure that my wife would love to eat out every meal while on vacation but she tends to keep the trip calculator on in her head the whole trip. She has a budget she wants to remain within. I am like we are on vacation don't worry about it. She says when we get home the credit card bills will come due for all of the things we did this week (she pays the bills) and the meals eaten out are rarelly her favorite part of our trips. She enjoys the tours, the shows, the sightseeing, the views from the room at the beach,relaxing by the pool or on the beach, and many other things we do for the week. She doesn't mind spending money on things we can't do at home. We can eat out at home. Plus she doesn't want to spend a large part of the vacation budget on something she can do herself in the room just as well for much cheaper. 

If we hit the lottery and became wealthy she might throw caution to the wind and eat expensive meals every night on vacation. Unless that happens we choose one or 2 must eat places for supper on our trips and eat several lunches out while on vacation (mainly when it is inconvenient to return to the room), but most meals will be eaten in the room to save money for other things we will do while out of town. Thank goodness she is frugal because when on vacation she says I spend money like a drunken sailor. She reigns me in and keeps the vacation budget reasonable. 

Bottom line my wife is the one who cooks most of the meals on vaction, but she would rather do that than spend $700 or more to eat out for the 7 nights we are out of town. In the end as with most things men must remember the cardinal rules: 

THE WIFE IS ALWAYS RIGHT! 
and
IF MOMMA AIN"T HAPPY, AIN"T NOBODY HAPPY!


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## chellej (Jun 28, 2011)

tombo said:


> THE WIFE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
> and
> IF MOMMA AIN"T HAPPY, AIN"T NOBODY HAPPY!



Amen    You got that right


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## glypnirsgirl (Jun 28, 2011)

rickandcindy23 said:


> Part of my slobbiness on vacation is my concern at leaving things in my nightstand, or in the drawer of the bathroom, etc.  I have been losing things of late, and I am only 56.
> 
> We lost some things on the airplane or in the airport on Kauai this last time.  FOUR items: a travel pillow I loved, both of our noise cancelling headphones, and a travel blanket.  I felt foolish.  We were so worried about Mom this past trip, we just left our stuff somewhere.
> 
> Rick and I feel like total space cases lately.  If I don't tuck things away, I know I cannot leave them.



You have a different criteria for slob Cindy - it sounds like you aren't a slob at all - I don't count leaving things out on your nightstand to be a slob! 

It is worrisome to START losing things. For me, I have nothing to worry about: I have been losing things my whole life. So much so, when I was in grade school, my parents would give my lunch money to my younger sister to take to school for me! She ate lunch right before our class, and she would bring my lunch money to me while I was standing in line. And being a little poot, she would say something like, "Here. Mom gave me your lunch money so you wouldn't lose it." When I was a younger attorney, I left my purse in judge's chambers one morning. I was retracing my steps to find it and went back to his courtroom. He came out with my purse on his arm and said, "Did you lose something?" I told him that story of my lunch money and he looked dead serious at me and said, "Don't tell that story to anyone."

Back to the thread.

elaine


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## Carol C (Jun 28, 2011)

I suggest you take her every year on a vacation for just the two of you...and make it an all-inclusive resort. I highly recommend for starters the Palace Resort chain in Mexico...you can even sneak behind her back and order room service to be delivered soon after your arrival. They'll bring you whatever you want from the menu, all the menu selections if you want! And make sure to order a nice bottle of chilled white wine to go with all the seafood you'll want to have. Then just chill out on your balcony for the evening and enjoy a sunset swim on the beach or in the pool. Paradise!


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## pwrshift (Jun 28, 2011)

Anyone losing things might be suffering from Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder like I do.  This little movie explains it all.  

http://www.bpmmagazine.com/bigpicturevideo/age_activated_ADD.html

Brian


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## ampaholic (Jun 28, 2011)

tombo said:


> THE WIFE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
> and
> IF MOMMA AIN"T HAPPY, AIN"T NOBODY HAPPY!



Amen;
Tombo you have learned the secret of a long and happy relationship.


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## pjrose (Jun 28, 2011)

Along those lines:

Rule Number 1: Your mother is always right.
Rule Number 2: If you think your mother is wrong, consult rule number 1.


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## heathpack (Jun 28, 2011)

Steve said:


> No, the only Hyatt that has daily maid service as far as I know is the location in Aspen.  It's more of a true luxury resort than most of the other Hyatts.
> 
> Steve



Hyatt Highlands Inn definately has daily housekeeping.  Housekeeping even sets up the logs in your fireplace each day and they wash your dishes.

I'm pretty sure Siesta Key, Mountain Lodge, and possibly Northstar have daily housekeeping as well.

H


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## bjones9942 (Jun 29, 2011)

By its very definition, a vacation is a break from ones daily routine.  Same old s***, different view is not a vacation   My brief suggestion is to run out and buy a couple loaves of bread, cold cuts and juice.  Sandwiches work just fine for both breakfast and lunch, and everyone can wash their own plate, glass and knife.  Make the evening meal a restaurant event (doesn't have to be fancy).  Ask the front desk if they have a laundry service.

And you can add Costa de Oro in Mazatlan to the list of daily housekeeping.  I'm fairly certain most of the resorts in Mexico have daily housekeeping, but since I have actual experience with just Costa de Oro, I will defer to others on this.


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## lvhmbh (Jun 29, 2011)

Costa Linda, Aruba (trades thru II and RCI) has maid service 6 days a week.  The 3 bedrooms have grills on the deck (hot tub too) and there are grills around the property as well.  I do laundry and food shop at home so DH does that when on TS vacations.  Unless DH grills we don't eat in for dinner but DO, most often, have b-fast and lunch in.  14 yr. old can do his own laundry and make his own food and will help his guest (sometimes they don't know how to make a sandwich  ) but more often they're taught at home how to do everything by that age - at least the ones I know!  I don't know any stay at home Moms so the kids are pretty self-sufficient.  We just spent two weeks in hotels and I missed just fixing myself something in the morning.  Linda


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## dawna (Jul 31, 2011)

*ADD*



pwrshift said:


> Anyone losing things might be suffering from Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder like I do.  This little movie explains it all.
> 
> http://www.bpmmagazine.com/bigpicturevideo/age_activated_ADD.html
> 
> Brian



Thanks for sharing that video.  I am sure I might be suffering from ADD.  it is good to laugh at yourself why watching this clip.  

I love what others are saying about how to destress your vacation while on vacation at your timeshare.  since our kids are grown, the husband and I plan two or three trips each year along, we plan one trip with our kids and their family.  we also include other family members as well.  each of us have our own timeshare so each family have their own space.  each family plan and prepare their meals, to share with all of us.  this way no one has to do all the cooking.  we also grill a lot, as well as eat out together maybe 2 or 3 times a week while on vacation.   we enjoy each other company by doing it this way we get a chance to spend time together as a family.  since most of us live in difference states, this gives us a chance to be together to enjoy our time together.  

I must say, I love a very clean house and a clean timeshare, so yes I make the beds everyday, and my husband helps me keep the timeshare clean.  that to me is half of the fun while on vacation coming back to a nice clean place.  don't have the extra money to pay for a maid service, so we do it ourself.  I just like my place nice and clean.  I also love what others are doing.

Dawna


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## dmharris (Oct 3, 2011)

Jim, Just reading this now, but your wife is one lucky woman to have a husband who is observant of her and considerate as well.  Take her to Paris!  Then head to Florence!   You won't regret it!


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## ScoopKona (Oct 3, 2011)

muranojo said:


> I want to eat out as often as possible, because we simply don't do that at home, and I like to sample the local cuisine.




For the most part, "the local cuisine" is found in the food markets, not the restaurants. 

I do most of the cooking at the timeshares. We'll have two or three meals out over the course of a week. Everything else is done at the timeshare, with the freshest local ingredients, prepared in the manner the locals prepare them. (Cooking styles are of course dictated by the kitchen and the equipment therein.) 

One of the best meals we ever had was braised rabbit in a saffron infused white wine reduction in Barcelona. Why? Because that's what all the grandmothers were buying at the market that afternoon. That's why. 

I always see what nonna is buying -- nonna knows best. Also, that saves me from haggling. I buy exactly what nonna buys, then pay exactly what she paid. She already haggled down to the best possible price. I'm not going to do better than a woman who has lived in town for 65 years.

And the two or three meals we have "out" are very carefully picked. This year, I'm going to try and get a table at the Fat Duck. We use the Michelin guide to select our restaurants, not Yelp.


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## Elli (Oct 3, 2011)

Nice to see you post again - where have you been - missed your posts.


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## Rascalsmom (Oct 3, 2011)

I'm so glad this got bumped so I got to enjoy it.  It really touched my heart and made me think a little more deeply about the trips we're planning.

The best thing, Jim, is that after more than 20 years you can say,

"I have sent her on vacation with just the girls but she prefers to travel with me."

That's awesome and inspiring.  You are blessed.


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## Zac495 (Oct 4, 2011)

We sold our timeshares because I was tired of timesharing vacations. I may still rent one depending on location. I got tired of the trading, not getting the view I wanted, and paying high maintenance fees and having no housekeeping.

You are a REALLY GREAT husband to notice and care about your wife's needs.

Have you considered Europe? You can usually buy frequent flyer miles with bonus in the late summer - that's how we have enough to fly "free" (credit card miles plus husband's business trips + purchase if necessary). Last summer we did Greece - this year it will be Italy.

With my parents' turn of events, I realize we have to take the active trips now. Of course we aren't going into debt to do it -but we are spending some of retirement now, I suppose.

GREAT THREAD.


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## dmharris (Oct 4, 2011)

Zac495 said:


> We sold our timeshares because I was tired of timesharing vacations. I may still rent one depending on location. I got tired of the trading, not getting the view I wanted, and paying high maintenance fees and having no housekeeping.
> GREAT THREAD.




Ellen, I agree with you on this; I could have been less stressed with renting but I realize renters get the worst views of all at timeshares, so that puts you into a hotel which doesn't have the room, kitchen, laundry, etc.  It's a trade off.  And we're taking two vacations a year whereas prior to 2006 when we bought our TS, we weren't taking any for a few years.  So owning forces me to use it or lose it and I'm NOT going to lose it.  It's been really good for us because I have a husband that will not plan for fear he'll miss something at work (self employed).  This way I can force the issue.  If we were renting I'd be still waiting for a vacation.  Now I have 3 planned through March (we didn't do any since last October, see what I mean?).


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## jjking42 (Oct 10, 2011)

dmharris said:


> Ellen, I agree with you on this; I could have been less stressed with renting but I realize renters get the worst views of all at timeshares, so that puts you into a hotel which doesn't have the room, kitchen, laundry, etc.  It's a trade off.  And we're taking two vacations a year whereas prior to 2006 when we bought our TS, we weren't taking any for a few years.  So owning forces me to use it or lose it and I'm NOT going to lose it.  It's been really good for us because I have a husband that will not plan for fear he'll miss something at work (self employed).  This way I can force the issue.  If we were renting I'd be still waiting for a vacation.  Now I have 3 planned through March (we didn't do any since last October, see what I mean?).



That was a great blessing to us when we first got timeshares. They forced me to plan a vacation.


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## talkamotta (Oct 11, 2011)

When I first started timesharing the boyfriend would cook.  He got tired of cooking so I found me a new boyfriend.  He is still cooking.  

Dont see what the problem is...:  

Only kidding.   

I will cook when the boyfriend (soon to be husband) doesnt want to.  For some reason he likes to cook.  When I cook  he will attempt to tell me how to cook.  :annoyed: (Im a mother of 5, I know how to cook)  So we eat out at least twice each week.  Our funnest dinners are when we are cooking together, dinner seems to take longer, food seems to simmer alot longer and  we have wine, so it really doesnt matter. On vacation time doesnt matter.  

Its good to have different types of vacations.  Not all of them have to be timeshares and not all of them have to be with the whole family.  Going on vacation alone with your sweetheart is good for a marriage.    I learned something about what makes a marriage work and not work in my life.  

Read all the tips on these posts together and ask your wife what she thinks.  You'll figure it out and then things will change again.  Its a woman's right to change her mind all she wants.


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## glypnirsgirl (Oct 11, 2011)

Ian and I just got back from our first non-timeshare vacation in several years. We went to Grand Canyon, Bryce and Zion. We were staying in the cabins and they do not have kitchens. Not even a table and chairs. Just a bed. 

Ian packed a cooler. We stopped at the grocery store on the way out of vegas and bought bread, cheese, cold cuts, cereal, milk and fruit. And Ziploc bags. 

We were in a timeshare our first night which was great because we could get the cooler and non-cooler food set up. 

Then we were out on the road. I was making sandwiches using the top of the cooler as the table most of the week. 

Between GC and Bryce, we stopped at a small store, and thanks to this thread, bought a rotisserie chicken and deli salads. It was wonderful to have something warm to eat after eating cold all week. 

We ended up eating out a couple of times. Once at the Grand Canyon Lodge (great meal) and then breakfast at Bryce Canyon Pines (outside the park by a few miles). Breakfast was so good there, we went back for dinner. 

It was great doing something different. I am looking forward to next month in China which will be in a hotel. We'll see how that works out.

elaine


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