# Frustrated with my other half, I just can’t get him to understand the risks



## Panina (Mar 17, 2020)

I am so frustrated, I am being so careful, staying in now.  My other half has been out each day.  Today to the supermarket just for 4 items which he really didn’t need and just now he went to Lowe’s to get a caulking gun.  I can’t get him to understand that unnecessary trips should not be made. I consider myself lucky that his gym closed or he would go there too.  Any one having issue like this with their other half?


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## CalGalTraveler (Mar 17, 2020)

My DH kept insisting on going into work even though he could work remotely from home. I kept wondering what was going to happen if he became ill...or he gave it to me. Would we have to isolate into separate rooms? How could one care for the other without becoming ill?

I am now relieved because the shelter in place mandates that we work from home. Our gym is now closed too.


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## Panina (Mar 17, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> My DH kept insisting on going into work even though he could work remotely from home. I kept wondering what was going to happen if he became ill...or he gave it to me. Would we have to isolate into separate rooms? How could one care for the other without becoming ill?
> 
> I am now relieved because the shelter in place mandates that we work from home. Our gym is now closed too.


I am glad you can feel relieved. I don’t think I ever will. We don’t have a shelter mandate yet but that wouldn’t stop him from going to the grocery.  I hope he doesn’t bring it home. I figure if he has or does by me staying in I would reduce the spread. Truthfully if I had somewhere else to go I would leave as this is making me nervous.   I actually think staying at a hotel is more dangerous.


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## bbodb1 (Mar 17, 2020)

If this helps, Panina - I, another of the male species, went out today too and on things that could have waited.  I had the tires rotated at Sam's, picked up some groceries, stopped by Kroger to get items from there and then headed home.
Maintained a good social distance at all times, wiped all carts before using and limited personal interaction.
Could it be he is using good hygiene practices when he is out?  You certainly hope that is the case.  We live in an area with few cases in our state and none in our city.  I guess you might say my behavior borders on risky especially since these trips were not required but the groceries will eventually get eaten so I guess they could be considered a need.
I am not trying to suggest like is going on as usual but if I am going to go out, I will be careful and take reasonable precautions.
Is your DH not taking precautions?
Just trying to provide you with a look into the psyche of the typical male...


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## Panina (Mar 17, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> If this helps, Panina - I, another of the male species, went out today too and on things that could have waited.  I had the tires rotated at Sam's, picked up some groceries, stopped by Kroger to get items from there and then headed home.
> Maintained a good social distance at all times, wiped all carts before using and limited personal interaction.
> Could it be he is using good hygiene practices when he is out?  You certainly hope that is the case.  We live in an area with few cases in our state and none in our city.  I guess you might say my behavior borders on risky especially since these trips were not required but the groceries will eventually get eaten so I guess they could be considered a need.
> I am not trying to suggest like is going on as usual but if I am going to go out, I will be careful and take reasonable precautions.
> ...


He sent me a picture showing me he used gloves at the cash machine.  I answered hope you didn’t send this text holding your phone with the glove. He says he is being very careful but I have no way to know for sure.

Thank you for trying to make me feel better.  I just found out my 85 year old mom in NYC went out today.  Said don’t worry I wore, gloves, mask and a wig.  It is what it is.


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## VacationForever (Mar 17, 2020)

Fortunately my husband and I are on the same page.  No more eating out or getting into stores.  We both still golf.  My only concern is that he continues to play with the men's groups 3 times a week and they chat etc and at times are definitely within 6 ft from each other.   He said that they do maintain a 6 ft bubble but I know it is impossible to do so at all times.

I no longer golf with the women's group.


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## geekette (Mar 17, 2020)

There was an article in maybe Boston Globe a week or so back.   It was about Italy. The title was something like "Don't be like us" with a blurb about 'we were selfish and did not take it seriously.'   

I don't think "I'm being careful" is at all any kind of guarantee.  You can't see coronavirus.   Are you sure you didn't walk in any?  none on your pants?   not in your hair??   can you be absolutely certain you didn't breathe it??  It is not only males, let's be fair.  

I would actually send my husband to a hotel, let me stay home with only the germs already here.  Stop bringing stuff home.   I asked, you didn't respect that, stop coming home.   You don't think it's any big deal, fine, you go get sick and keep it.   I would not be messing around with this, it is life and death.  See ya after the wave passes, I won't let you get me sick.  

This is exactly how every single one of us will be on lockdown, ignoring "essential travel only".


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## TheTimeTraveler (Mar 17, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am glad you can feel relieved. I don’t think I ever will. We don’t have a shelter mandate yet but that wouldn’t stop him from going to the grocery.  I hope he doesn’t bring it home. I figure if he has or does by me staying in I would reduce the spread. Truthfully if I had somewhere else to go I would leave as this is making me nervous.   I actually think staying at a hotel is more dangerous.




Speaking of Grocery Stores;  I heard today that Trader Joe's is offering daily times for senior citizens to shop.  I think it's a good idea since Senior's could be more "at risk'.



.


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## geekette (Mar 17, 2020)

Panina said:


> I just found out my 85 year old mom in NYC went out today.  Said don’t worry I wore, gloves, mask and a wig.  It is what it is.


I've been calling my mother a lot, usually hear "I need to go..." and I cut her off, Is It Worth Dying For?  Do you NEED it?

I will not be successful.  She knows the risks.  If she chooses to die for a trip to Walmart, there is nothing I can say to stop her.  But me?  I'm not going anywhere.  Not only for myself, but for the people that will not or cannot heed instructions.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 17, 2020)

I still have to go grocery shopping every week and once hubby gets his prescription he has to go to the drug store unless he can get mail order quickly. How can you not go food shopping at least once per week for fresh stuff at the very least- like produce, milk, etc.?

I confess we went to Lowes yesterday Briefly- they said we had to sign a contract and pay for the door install we have planned. Why they couldn’t do it via email is beyond me.

BTW- I keep having to remind my husband to wash his hands like when he got back from the gas station and post office today. Always too late.

And like I mentioned in another post we are having a mattress delivery this week. We have to go to the clubhouse to get our mail each day. Try to be careful  but it is almost impossible to be 100%.


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## VacationForever (Mar 17, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> I still have to go grocery shopping every week and once hubby gets his prescription he has to go to the drug store unless he can get mail order quickly. How can you not go food shopping at least once per week for fresh stuff at the very least- like produce, milk, etc.?
> 
> I confess we went to Lowes yesterday Briefly- they said we had to sign a contract and pay for the door install we have planned. Why they couldn’t do it via email is beyond me.
> 
> ...


Lots of options for grocery.  Depending on where you live, instacart maybe an option.  It delivers on behalf of several grocery stores.  They don't deliver to our area.  There is also safeway.com or vons.com depending on where you live.  Since instacart doesn't work for us and vons.com's next delivery to our area is more than a week out, I have to look at other options.  I choose pickup option so that I do not need to go into the store.  I just finished my cart, $181 of groceries, to be picked up on Thursday.


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## b2bailey (Mar 17, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> Fortunately my husband and I are on the same page.  No more eating out or getting into stores.  We both still golf.  My only concern is that he continues to play with the men's groups 3 times a week and they chat etc and at times are definitely within 6 ft from each other.   He said that they do maintain a 6 ft bubble but I know it is impossible to do so at all times.
> 
> I no longer golf with the women's group.


hopefully they wash down the germs on the 19th hole


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## Panina (Mar 17, 2020)

geekette said:


> There was an article in maybe Boston Globe a week or so back.   It was about Italy. The title was something like "Don't be like us" with a blurb about 'we were selfish and did not take it seriously.'
> 
> I don't think "I'm being careful" is at all any kind of guarantee.  You can't see coronavirus.   Are you sure you didn't walk in any?  none on your pants?   not in your hair??   can you be absolutely certain you didn't breathe it??  It is not only males, let's be fair.
> 
> ...


I wish it was so easy to send him to a hotel.  He would never go.  I suggested it the other day, he told me I could go.  I am staying my distance away from him, disinfecting everywhere he goes.   I have a place in NY, family in California and Florida where I could go but all those places are risky too.  This is making me reevaluate everything.  He won’t even cover his mouth when he coughs (most probably allergy). I immediately spray and he hates that. Too bad.

They are considering a stay home mandate in the next town over right over the N.C. border.  If that happens stores will close.  The SC governor asked groceries to do senior hours which he said  is when he would go.  I will believe it when I see it.  I thought he was smart, now it realize where it counts he is not.


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## Panina (Mar 17, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> Lots of options for grocery.  Depending on where you live, instacart maybe an option.  It delivers on behalf of several grocery stores.  They don't deliver to our area.  There is also safeway.com or vons.com depending on where you live.  Since instacart doesn't work for us and vons.com's next delivery to our area is more than a week out, I have to look at other options.  I choose pickup option so that I do not need to go into the store.  I just finished my cart, $181 of groceries, to be picked up on Thursday.


I think there Is risk with delivery service with others doing your shopping.  They could have sneezed on your product, etc.  I got deliveries today and tried to wipe everything down.  It is impossible to 100% reduced risk as we really don’t know how many ways it passes.  The only sure way is if you are stocked and don’t go out and that isn’t a guarantee either as your previous movement the last few weeks still might result in getting sick.

I alway believed when it’s your time there is nothing that can change it.  I need to go to my core beliefs and stop stressing.


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## easyrider (Mar 17, 2020)

I have been to Lowes almost every day. Most of the people working at our Lowes are older. I have been to the hardware store too. By the end of the week the project I'm working on will be done.

But then there is my neighbors that had a flooded kitchen. They had a hack come in to fix the dishwasher but they flooded the kitchen then removed the floor and counter tops and cabinets. They were told to leave. I was asked if I could repair this when I get time. It looks like I will have time next week.

The c-19 thing has had some side benefits of not having to participate in a baby shower, a couple funerals, Easter and other things I don't like. Bummer about some of the fun things though. Two weddings have been canceled.

My sister called to tell me I can't get my hair cut until they say its safe. Maybe in a few weeks.

I am careful when I go out. I don't touch things, keep my distance and definitely no hugs. I almost got hugged yesterday. 

Bill


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## TravelTime (Mar 17, 2020)

@Panina Just remember that the vast majority of people who get Covid-19 do not get very sick. It is not really life and death for the vast majority of people. Some people who have it have reported other illnesses were worse. So personally I am not that worried about getting sick. I look on the bright side that if I do get sick, then I will have some immunity. I have not been sick in a long time. In fact, I can‘t remember the last time I was sick. I think I have a good immune system so maybe that is why I am not worried about illness. I am following the recommendations and staying home, washing hands, etc. so I do not become a carrier that passes along the virus to others especially if I get it without symptoms. At least I am not worried about illness. Instead, I am obsessing on the economic disaster and how that will impact us. But today I feel more calm about that since it is out of my control.


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## JudyH (Mar 17, 2020)

I finally got my husband to stop nail biting last week. I am on one of those nasty meds you see with side effects on TV for my RA.   He grudgingly agreed to cancel Disney until Disney took care of that for us. He is slowly coming to grips with the reality of it. I keep reminding him he really doesn’t want to end up a widower if something happens to me.
Thankfully he does not drive due to poor eyesight so he can’t just take off...

However, I am getting my hair done tomorrow... vanity thy name is woman.


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## geist1223 (Mar 17, 2020)

Do you have a prenuputial?


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## VacationForever (Mar 17, 2020)

Panina said:


> I think there Is risk with delivery service with others doing your shopping.  They could have sneezed on your product, etc.  I got deliveries today and tried to wipe everything down.  It is impossible to 100% reduced risk as we really don’t know how many ways it passes.  The only sure way is if you are stocked and don’t go out and that isn’t a guarantee either as your previous movement the last few weeks still might result in getting sick.
> 
> I alway believed when it’s your time there is nothing that can change it.  I need to go to my core beliefs and stop stressing.


Very true that it is not safe, but neither is walking through the aisles with others around us.  We will wash everything throughly whenever possible.  With food items, they will all be cooked.  Also, between what we have in our fridge and freezer and our groceries pick up on Thursday night, we should be set for the next 4 weeks without needing to worry about another grocery run.


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## geekette (Mar 17, 2020)

Panina said:


> I wish it was so easy to send him to a hotel.  He would never go.  I suggested it the other day, he told me I could go.  I am staying my distance away from him, disinfecting everywhere he goes.   I have a place in NY, family in California and Florida where I could go but all those places are risky too.  This is making me reevaluate everything.  He won’t even cover his mouth when he coughs (most probably allergy). I immediately spray and he hates that. Too bad.
> 
> They are considering a stay home mandate in the next town over right over the N.C. border.  If that happens stores will close.  The SC governor asked groceries to do senior hours which he said  is when he would go.  I will believe it when I see it.  I thought he was smart, now it realize where it counts he is not.


He doesn't cover his mouth?  Allergy or not, yuck.   I would probably hole up in my favorite timeshare or rent either an extended stay hotel or apartment.  

We just passed 6000 cases, 104 deaths.   this is no joke, it's coming to all of us. Hopefully the most vulnerable can avoid until next season but we have no guarantees, and every single one of us is depending on every other person.  I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how stressful this must be.


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## VacationForever (Mar 17, 2020)

geist1223 said:


> Do you have a prenuputial?


That includes "Husband will obey wife"?


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## geekette (Mar 17, 2020)

Panina said:


> I think there Is risk with delivery service with others doing your shopping.  They could have sneezed on your product, etc.  I got deliveries today and tried to wipe everything down.  It is impossible to 100% reduced risk as we really don’t know how many ways it passes.  The only sure way is if you are stocked and don’t go out and that isn’t a guarantee either as your previous movement the last few weeks still might result in getting sick.
> 
> I alway believed when it’s your time there is nothing that can change it.  I need to go to my core beliefs and stop stressing.


I'm not an order and have it delivered person.   Even less keen on it now.  

I like to find bargains, check the price per oz on the little tags, comparison shop, etc.  going in the middle of the night, nobody cares if I'm loitering in an aisle a while.   no impatient people, nobody in line.   I have never needed to go weekly and have been stretching it to monthly trips since my income got whacked, which has helped me be very efficient and creative, knowing I will be stuck with whatever is left until next pay.   I try to keep the trip to $50, aided by clearance items and my general lack of interest in much more than reasonably nutritious sustenance.  oatmeal, peanut butter, beans, potatoes and eggs are staples for me and I don't have to replace those monthly.


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## TravelTime (Mar 17, 2020)

Yesterday at Safeway, they still have the self serve operating. I was shocked since buffets have been shut down because everyone touches the serving utensils. I saw people serving themselves at Safeway.


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## geekette (Mar 17, 2020)

easyrider said:


> My sister called to tell me I can't get my hair cut until they say its safe. Maybe in a few weeks.
> 
> I am careful when I go out. I don't touch things, keep my distance and definitely no hugs. I almost got hugged yesterday.


What, the neighbor whose kitchen you're fixing doesn't have a bowl and scissors?   

Yeah, beware the hugs.   Seems to me the neighbor would be hug-level grateful.  I would be.  

I am not especially handy, depending on what it is and fear factor.  I definitely don't mess with electricity or plumbing, and fear of heights keeps me off the roof - not so much getting up there and being up there, but coming back down - same problem I had with climbing trees - the crap about facing fears has never resolved that one for me.  

I have to call Some Business and hope.   I have terrible luck with plumbers especially and have put off some repairs just because I don't want to deal with the foul-ups.  I am planning to try to fix a toilet.  replaced a part a few months ago but now I think I have to replace the other stuff in it.   I have put it off but, gee, not like I'm going anywhere...


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## CPNY (Mar 17, 2020)

Have him message me. I’ll set him straight! That is insanity he needs to stay home! This is very bad. We are headed toward devastation. I read a mitigation report that said if the US doesn’t act they estimate 2,000,000 Americans will die. If we act accordingly and adhere to quarantine they estimate 1,000,000.

I have been flipping on my nephews who are running around like it’s no big deal. They can spread this without symptoms. The disregard for this virus and the life of others exhibited by people is infuriating. Not to mention you other half is putting himself and you at tremendous risk.


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

CPNY said:


> Have him message me. I’ll set him straight! That is insanity he needs to stay home! This is very bad. We are headed toward devastation. I read a mitigation report that said if the US doesn’t act they estimate 2,000,000 Americans will die. If we act accordingly and adhere to quarantine they estimate 1,000,000.
> 
> I have been flipping on my nephews who are running around like it’s no big deal. They can spread this without symptoms. The disregard for this virus and the life of others exhibited by people is infuriating. Not to mention you other half is putting himself and you at tremendous risk.


Just had a talk with him. Told him I have Tug friends that want to talk to him.  I reiterated it is getting bad out there.  Can he try to stay in for the 15 days they are requesting.  Maybe one run to the market if needed.  He said he will but not sure if he meant it. I should know by the afternoon.


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## b2bailey (Mar 18, 2020)

CPNY said:


> Have him message me. I’ll set him straight! That is insanity he needs to stay home! This is very bad. We are headed toward devastation. I read a mitigation report that said if the US doesn’t act they estimate 2,000,000 Americans will die. If we act accordingly and adhere to quarantine they estimate 1,000,000.
> 
> I have been flipping on my nephews who are running around like it’s no big deal. They can spread this without symptoms. The disregard for this virus and the life of others exhibited by people is infuriating. Not to mention you other half is putting himself and you at tremendous risk.


Okay, I've been content to read along and skim statistics , because the truth is, nobody knows. BUT...I'm having a difficult time with the numbers stated above. How would those multi-million death projection numbers be possible when this thing has all but blown through China leaving less than 10,000 dead. How do you extrapolate to that point?


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

b2bailey said:


> Okay, I've been content to read along and skim statistics , because the truth is, nobody knows. BUT...I'm having a difficult time with the numbers stated above. How would those multi-million death projection numbers be possible when this thing has all but blown through China leaving less than 10,000 dead. How do you extrapolate to that point?


Could it be his projections are if it was like Wuhan in all of our states, larger affected population, larger amount of deaths.


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## sue1947 (Mar 18, 2020)

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/16/us/coronavirus-fatality-rate-white-house.html


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## b2bailey (Mar 18, 2020)

sue1947 said:


> https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/16/us/coronavirus-fatality-rate-white-house.html


I bu





Panina said:


> Could it be his projections are if it was like Wuhan in all of our states, larger affected population, larger amount of deaths.



Yes, but even if I allocate 5,000 deaths  x 50 states (using Wuhan numbers) that comes to 250,000 deaths.  I can't see how to reach the 1,000,000 number. That's the point where my doubt and disbelief set in.


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## rapmarks (Mar 18, 2020)

My husband doesn’t understand the situation at all, is very upset that the bocce matches were cancelled And that we aren’t go places. 
one thing that surprises me is the number of group’s socializing.  I go for a walk in the evening and especially in the condo sections, large groups are outside sharing snacks and having a party.


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## geekette (Mar 18, 2020)

b2bailey said:


> Okay, I've been content to read along and skim statistics , because the truth is, nobody knows. BUT...I'm having a difficult time with the numbers stated above. How would those multi-million death projection numbers be possible when this thing has all but blown through China leaving less than 10,000 dead. How do you extrapolate to that point?



They tested and isolated it.  We have not done that.  Cannot do that.  Americans are refusing to stay home.

We don't know where it is, but it's everywhere.  It was never contained here.


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## bogey21 (Mar 18, 2020)

Don't get me wrong.  I unequivocally support all the preventative actions the Government and Medical Profession advocate.  But I wonder when all is said and done will deaths in the US this year from the flu or the Coronavirus be larger...

George


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## geekette (Mar 18, 2020)

bogey21 said:


> Don't get me wrong.  I unequivocally support all the preventative actions the Government and Medical Profession advocate.  But I wonder when all is said and done will deaths in the US this year from the flu or the Coronavirus be larger...
> 
> George


Corona.  If I had it to spare, I'd bet 10 grand on it, with winner donating to vaccine research.


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## missyrcrews (Mar 18, 2020)

It has been interesting working at Target over the last week or so.  People need to maintain the illusion of "being in control."  They buy toilet paper, they wear gloves (and then they remove them improperly...smh….), etc.  The reality is that we aren't in control at all.  We can try to reduce risks/etc.  But I am in the camp of "when it's my time, it's my time."  I will take precautions, but I am not going to be particularly fearful.  I canceled our April break trip, but I'm not going to hole up in the house for weeks on end.  I'm not taking the kids out to be with their friends, I'm not attending a live church service, etc.  But I will find ways to connect to people and be the church in other ways.  It's going to be okay, one way or another.  The fear will get to us long before the virus does.  Hang in there!  Headed to Target to unload the grocery truck.  May there be toilet paper and mac and cheese on it!!!


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## Sugarcubesea (Mar 18, 2020)

I just tried to order groceries online and in my area due to the demand it is a 8 day delay in getting me the groceries... I will have to go out today just to get essentials that can tide us over till they can deliver my groceries in 8 days....


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## wackymother (Mar 18, 2020)

geekette said:


> I'm not an order and have it delivered person.   Even less keen on it now.
> 
> I like to find bargains, check the price per oz on the little tags, comparison shop, etc.  going in the middle of the night, nobody cares if I'm loitering in an aisle a while.   no impatient people, nobody in line.   I have never needed to go weekly and have been stretching it to monthly trips since my income got whacked, which has helped me be very efficient and creative, knowing I will be stuck with whatever is left until next pay.   I try to keep the trip to $50, aided by clearance items and my general lack of interest in much more than reasonably nutritious sustenance.  oatmeal, peanut butter, beans, potatoes and eggs are staples for me and I don't have to replace those monthly.




I'm like that too, but I just ordered from Whole Foods for delivery. We're in, I don't want to blow it by having to save a couple of bucks on milk and eggs.


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## geist1223 (Mar 18, 2020)

The analogy Patti used harked back to her 20's. The reason to use condoms - because you were not just having sex with the individual but also with every one they had sex with. So I have not just having contact with you but every one you have had contact with for the past several days. You may not currently have symptoms but your previous contacts could kill me.


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## Talent312 (Mar 18, 2020)

In Florida, so far, there have been 216 cases (7 deaths).
Florida has a total population of about 21 million.
Of course, the number will increase and the risk is significant.
But "shelter in place?" Let's not get overwrought.

<ducking>


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## presley (Mar 18, 2020)

My husband has said numerous times that he wants to hurry up and get it so he can isolate for 2 weeks and get it over and get back to normal. He doesn't seem to understand that it will be months before everyone else feels like they can get back to normal. He is a Fox News lover, usually full of doom and gloom about imaginary things. I can't figure out why he isn't getting the severity of this.


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## Brett (Mar 18, 2020)

I'm going to risk it and make a run to Lowes or Home Depot today 
Hope I survive


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## elaine (Mar 18, 2020)

from my colleague in Italy--he hopes USA will take precautions seriously. They are overwhelmed. My view is let's hunker down (including 2 healthy college kids who are online for the rest of the semester) if at all possible for 2 weeks and then reevaluate, after much more testing and after people who are + getting thru the disease with low fatalities, where the country is at, and how we're coping at hospitals. Right now we just don't know--so I'll do what I can to keep me (asthma), my family, and others safe.


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## CPNY (Mar 18, 2020)

b2bailey said:


> Okay, I've been content to read along and skim statistics , because the truth is, nobody knows. BUT...I'm having a difficult time with the numbers stated above. How would those multi-million death projection numbers be possible when this thing has all but blown through China leaving less than 10,000 dead. How do you extrapolate to that point?


Well first, when the Chinese govt tells their people to get in line they are already in line. People here are not paying attention nor do they care. The Chinese would not be out partying on the beach or in bars. In general, they have more respect culturally. If one is sick they wear a mask to not spread it around. If someone here had a cold or the flu and they wore a mask people would want to inflict violence upon them (it’s happened in the beginning of this). With that being said, it was a report out of the UK. I’ll have to find the link.

Also, China had time to keep this quiet and shut down travel in and out of Hubei province sort of quickly. They also have more experience with these type of viral outbreaks since many of them originate there. They have protocols on place, they have all of the supplies since they are all manufactured there. They were able to keep it centralized in one province, I believe most was contained to Wuhan which is the size of London. Think about that, they were able to keep it contained in a city the size of London, then it spread to the rest of the world quickly. Some are saying this a media hoax or it’s not that big and being blown out of proportion. While it may be hyped up, we don’t know what we don’t know. I for one do not want to take chances with myself or my family members. I wouldn’t worry about those numbers. That’s worst case scenario without taking any actions which people are beginning to do. Stay safe and stay calm


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## CPNY (Mar 18, 2020)

Brett said:


> I'm going to risk it and make a run to Lowes or Home Depot today
> Hope I survive


You will survive. Just wash your hands and don’t stand near coughy people


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## CPNY (Mar 18, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I just tried to order groceries online and in my area due to the demand it is a 8 day delay in getting me the groceries... I will have to go out today just to get essentials that can tide us over till they can deliver my groceries in 8 days....


I decided to To go to Costco last night before closing. No chicken was there but I got almost everything I needed. Such is life.


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## Brett (Mar 18, 2020)

CPNY said:


> You will survive. Just wash your hands and don’t stand near coughy people



yes, I am much more cognizant of germ defense now than a couple of weeks ago


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I just tried to order groceries online and in my area due to the demand it is a 8 day delay in getting me the groceries... I will have to go out today just to get essentials that can tide us over till they can deliver my groceries in 8 days....


This is a necessity, most of will have to venture out at some point. Just reducing the frequency reduces the risk.


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

Brett said:


> I'm going to risk it and make a run to Lowes or Home Depot today
> Hope I survive


You and my other half, two peas in a pod.  Be safe.


----------



## pedro47 (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am so frustrated, I am being so careful, staying in now.  My other half has been out each day.  Today to the supermarket just for 4 items which he really didn’t need and just now he went to Lowe’s to get a caulking gun.  I can’t get him to understand that unnecessary trips should not be made. I consider myself lucky that his gym closed or he would go there too.  Any one having issue like this with their other half?



Panina, you sound just like my Commander-in-Chief at home.
I can totally understand your spouse. He wants to make sure you guys have everything needed for a two (2) or three (3) weeks in home vacation. 
I have set-up a special room with water and food supplies for three (3) weeks or more.
OOPS, we need some sweet potatoes and a another jar of M&M candy. Plus, I need to pick-up my medication from Kroger.
Also, I need to work in my yard today because it is going to be seventy degrees.
I am taking this virus very serious and so is husband IMHO.

It is all about Love and caring about our very special Spouse. IMO


----------



## Polly Metallic (Mar 18, 2020)

presley said:


> My husband has said numerous times that he wants to hurry up and get it so he can isolate for 2 weeks and get it over and get back to normal. He doesn't seem to understand that it will be months before everyone else feels like they can get back to normal. He is a Fox News lover, usually full of doom and gloom about imaginary things. I can't figure out why he isn't getting the severity of this.



He doesn’t seem to realize that getting the virus doesn’t preclude being reinfected. He might develop antibodies, but it is possible to get the virus again.


----------



## Quiet Pine (Mar 18, 2020)

geekette said:


> We just passed 6000 cases, 104 deaths.


Arizona has 21 cases, 0 deaths. Population 7.3 million. I walked with friends yesterday, a dozen women, then we all went to lunch. Restaurant manager was nervous about a group of older women {60s, 70s, a couple of 80s) and seated us outside on the patio.  Then he warmed up to us & told us a dirty joke. Maybe he was expecting walkers & canes & was reassured when he saw some of us wearing our _Hiker Babes_ T-shirts? We all participate in the Whiskey Row Marathon in Prescott (we walk the 10K) and are pretty feisty for grandmas.


----------



## b2bailey (Mar 18, 2020)

geist1223 said:


> The analogy Patti used harked back to her 20's. The reason to use condoms - because you were not just having sex with the individual but also with every one they had sex with. So I have not just having contact with you but every one you have had contact with for the past several days. You may not currently have symptoms but your previous contacts could kill me.


Excellent, and I'm surprised I haven't heard it sooner. Maybe this is the winning play for Panina.


----------



## geekette (Mar 18, 2020)

Here's the other thing - we aren't testing.  My state has over 6 million people, and less than 200 tests done.  We are at 39 positives, doubling in 3 days.  Should I really think that only 39 people are infected??  Hell no!  Do I really believe that a (slightly) high risk person such as myself could actually get a test if I was feeling like pneumonia was coming on?  No, I do not believe that.   Could I receive treatment?  I am not sure.  Not willing to find out.  I have been very honest with myself over the past month as to Need vs Want. When I head for the car keys, there is the post-it to remind me.  

Short of going around in a hazmat suit, I don't believe anyone can simply "be careful" and avoid infection.  

there are reasons why other countries have done lockdowns, yet still, loss of life in significant numbers.


----------



## easyrider (Mar 18, 2020)

Brett said:


> I'm going to risk it and make a run to Lowes or Home Depot today
> Hope I survive



I was told that Lowes and Home Depot are required to have a group of employees that will make sure that social distancing takes place. I kind of want to go in today to get the rest of the things I need but I'm not sure what all I need until I need it. I'm certain I bought many items I don't need yet. 

Bill


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## elaine (Mar 18, 2020)

DH is using a plastic lasagna pan for paint roller instead of going to store to get one. He's a bit stir crazy, so painting trim of house--he got the paint a few days ago from a small paint store with limited contact.


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

I am chilled out today.  Just taking in stride now, what will be, will be.  

My other half went out again, going on a hiking trail. He took what he normally does. If that is where he is I am ok with that but have no way to know if he stops anywhere else. He said he won’t and said he will call me on the way home to make lunch.


----------



## pianodinosaur (Mar 18, 2020)

DW has a deep commitment to honor her elderly parents.  She will continue to purchase groceries for them as she has been doing even prior to the advent of this virus pandemic.  There must be many others in this forum with identical beliefs and who are acting upon them in a similar fashion.

Got an email today from the Harris County Medical Society that Corona Virus testing is now available from Quest Diagnostics and Labcorps.


----------



## bluehende (Mar 18, 2020)

b2bailey said:


> Okay, I've been content to read along and skim statistics , because the truth is, nobody knows. BUT...I'm having a difficult time with the numbers stated above. How would those multi-million death projection numbers be possible when this thing has all but blown through China leaving less than 10,000 dead. How do you extrapolate to that point?


  People have pointed out how china reacted which was good.  They can mandate the highest controls much better than we can.

The biggest thing to remember is that this is all based on modeling.  The models are only as good as the data in.  This is a new virus that numbers are hard to come by.  Having said that corona virus outbreaks have happened before and studied so the numbers placed into the models have some basis in reality.   Every time a study comes out the numbers will be a bit better.  We have some experience now with this one so the models may be pretty good.  The dire numbers you hear are for zero intervention.  We may be late but we are certainly not doing nothing.  The latest model I saw predicted 2.2 million deaths with no intervention.  With realistic control of  contacts we can reduce that by 90%.  The models will get better and better so that 90% confidence bands can be placed but as of now the best modeling says between 200,000 and 2 million deaths.  This also assumes no treatment is available and does not take into account an inundated health care system.  No model will tell you what will happen but planning for the outcome that is modeled is usually the right thing to do and you ignore them at your own peril.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am chilled out today.  Just taking in stride now, what will be, will be.
> 
> My other half went out again, going on a hiking trail. He took what he normally does. If that is where he is I am ok with that but have no way to know if he stops anywhere else. He said he won’t and said he will call me on the way home to make lunch.



You might want to talk to him about the impact of him getting sick on you and others. Also he could be a silent carrier with no symptoms. How would he feel if he is unknowingly passing along the virus to other people? Would appealing to his compassion and caring for other people, even if he is not worried about himself, help him to stay in the house?


----------



## sun starved Gayle (Mar 18, 2020)

We cannot get my 87 year old FIL to stay home . He is “not going to let fear disrupt his life.” His wife is at home, and in very poor health, but he says he is “ really careful around her”. My friend’s 80 something parents passed away a couple days ago within hours of each other at a local hospital from Covid 19, the first deaths from the virus here in our county in Washington State. I seriously want to kick my FIL’s old man‘s a** !!!


----------



## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> You might want to talk to him about the impact of him getting sick on you and others. Also he could be a silent carrier with no symptoms. How would he feel if he is unknowingly passing along the virus to other people? Would appealing to his compassion and caring for other people, even if he is not worried about himself, help him to stay in the house?


I have.  Going for hikes might be the compromise for him to get his nervous energy out.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 18, 2020)

sun starved Gayle said:


> We cannot get my 87 year old FIL to stay home . He is “not going to let fear disrupt his life.” His wife is at home, and in very poor health, but he says he is “ really careful around her”. My friend’s 80 something parents passed away a couple days ago within hours of each other at a local hospital from Covid 19, the first deaths from the virus here in our county in Washington State. I serious want to kick my FIL’s old man‘s a** !!!



Oh no, he needs to stay home. But I guess at his age, when it's his time, it's his time. That is so sad that both your friend's parents passed away from Covid-19. That must be devastating for your friend.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> I have.  Going for hikes might be the compromise for him to get his nervous energy out.



Hikes are probably okay since he is not with other people, Maybe that will keep him calm.


----------



## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

sun starved Gayle said:


> We cannot get my 87 year old FIL to stay home . He is “not going to let fear disrupt his life.” His wife is at home, and in very poor health, but he says he is “ really careful around her”. My friend’s 80 something parents passed away a couple days ago within hours of each other at a local hospital from Covid 19, the first deaths from the virus here in our county in Washington State. I serious want to kick my FIL’s old man‘s a** !!!


I get it, my mom went out yesterday in NYC.  She lives in an elevator building.   Last night finally convinced her to stay home, she agreed and today found out she went to the laundry room downstairs.  Says I refuse to be in total jail, I have been through worse.  

I will give her credit for a good choice.  When she went out yesterday there was a religious organization giving out bags if free food.  She said it was a mob of seniors and she was very mad and wants to report it as it was everyone on top of each other.  Even though she was tempted for the free stuff she said she knew it was risky and stood away.  The grocery near her is stocked so there was no need for this.


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## JanT (Mar 18, 2020)

You have answered your own question at the beginning of this sentence.



presley said:


> He is a Fox News lover, usually full of doom and gloom about imaginary things. I can't figure out why he isn't getting the severity of this.


----------



## lockewong (Mar 18, 2020)

It is a very scary time and scary situation.  I read about Italy and I am worried for my mother who is 91 years old and I cannot visit.  Every time we leave the house, we may be exposed.  That is the scariest and most unpredictable part of this.  Yet, I wonder if Panina's husband is going out because of the anxiety and stress.  It is not an excuse but could be the actual reason for what seems to be irrational behavior.  I know that when I am stressed, I cook.  As such, I have made homemade chicken soup, comfort food and now applesauce is simmering on the stove.  I wonder in a week, whether I will be tempted to refresh my supplies and just go to the grocery store.  As social creatures, we also need the comfort and emotional support of each other.  This six feet distancing is a safeguard but part of us craves physical interaction and discourse.  Just a thought because rational and emotional do not necessarily mix.


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## Firepath (Mar 18, 2020)

Show him photos or videos of what's happening in Italy. That should be enough to scare him into compliance!


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

JanT said:


> You have answered your own question at the beginning of this sentence.


Fyi, I watch/read the conservative and liberal channels to stay fully informed

There are many in every political spectrum that do not understand the severity.  Sickness and fear have no side, they occur in everyone.


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

lockewong said:


> It is a very scary time and scary situation.  I read about Italy and I am worried for my mother who is 91 years old and I cannot visit.  Every time we leave the house, we may be exposed.  That is the scariest and most unpredictable part of this.  Yet, I wonder if Panina's husband is going out because of the anxiety and stress.  It is not an excuse but could be the actual reason for what seems to be irrational behavior.  I know that when I am stressed, I cook.  As such, I have made homemade chicken soup, comfort food and now applesauce is simmering on the stove.  I wonder in a week, whether I will be tempted to refresh my supplies and just go to the grocery store.  As social creatures, we also need the comfort and emotional support of each other.  This six feet distancing is a safeguard but part of us craves physical interaction and discourse.  Just a thought because rational and emotional do not necessarily mix.


He sent these pictures to me and our daughter.  Called him, a calm he needed. Seems others have gone hiking too.


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

Firepath said:


> Show him photos or videos of what's happening in Italy. That should be enough to scare him into compliance!


He knows, my mom knows.


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## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

JanT said:


> You have answered your own question at the beginning of this sentence.


Or, more likely, both of you are showing your bias.
If what you are suggesting is true, then was the hubby in question all happy and chipper before Fox News started?


----------



## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

@Panina Where were those pictures taken?


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> @Panina Where were those pictures taken?


Crowders Mountain State Park


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## lockewong (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> He sent these pictures to me and our daughter.  Called him, a calm he needed. Seems others have gone hiking too.
> View attachment 18063View attachment 18064


Looks like everyone wants a bit of peace and tranquility that we cannot get from the media sources.  Beautiful vistas.


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## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

lockewong said:


> Looks like everyone wants a bit of peace and tranquility that we cannot get from the media sources.  Beautiful vistas.


Exactly!
On both counts!


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## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> Crowders Mountain State Park


I dont think you will have to worry about social distancing there!  Looks pretty.  We have a trip scheduled in late July to that neck of the woods.


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## Brett (Mar 18, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> Or, more likely, both of you are showing your bias.
> If what you are suggesting is true, then was the hubby in question all happy and chipper before Fox News started?




  ......  or maybe that particular "news" source was happy and chipper a few weeks ago
and their viewers experienced an extreme case of cognitive dissonance ....


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## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

Brett said:


> ......  or maybe that particular "news" source was happy and chipper a few weeks ago
> and the viewers experienced cognitive dissonance ....


All possibilities are in play in these times to be sure!


----------



## AwayWeGo (Mar 18, 2020)

_The Chief Of Staff _subscribes, bigtime, to Better Safe Than Sorry.  And that's a reasonable concern.  After all, we're both vulnerable sr. citz. & there are other chronic conditions that add to our vulnerability.  So if it were possible to go beyond social distancing all the way to self-isolation & quarantine, I think she would be on board with that.

By contrast, I think reasonable safeguards do not require that level of social distancing.  (Then again, I don't watch TV news -- haven't for a long time, not local, not network, not cable, not even sports.)

However that may or may not be, in 55+ years of being married to the same woman (& being extremely grateful for that), I have learned that _efficiency_ means letting her have her own way _sooner_.

Bottom line is that I am unwilling to cause _The Chief Of Staff_ needless distress, so I am pulling the plug on musical rehearsals (which mostly are canceled anyway).  As a practical matter, only 1 small (5-piece) group I that belong to is still rehearsing, & that's for an Easter Sunday church service that may or may not face cancellation, once the church officials in charge make a decision.  (For now, we're assuming the Easter gig is on. Once the church officials decide, who knows?  Already some churches are conducting services without having their congregations present in the church buildings -- streaming out live audio & video to worshippers via internet.)

A side benefit of not distressing _The Chief Of Staff_ is potentially avoiding virus exposure.  If we catch it, we'll all think we should have been more careful.  If the whole virus situation diminishes with minimal harm, then we all can be grateful for the success of the precautions that were put in place (without ever knowing what might have happened without such safeguards).

Is this a great country or what ?

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


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## Brett (Mar 18, 2020)

AwayWeGo said:


> _The Chief Of Staff _subscribes, bigtime, to Better Safe Than Sorry.  And that's a reasonable concern.  After all, we're both vulnerable sr. citz. & there are other chronic conditions that add to our vulnerability.  So if it were possible to go beyond social distancing all the way to self-isolation & quarantine, I think she would be on board with that.
> 
> By contrast, I think reasonable safeguards do not require that level of social distancing.  (Then again, I don't watch TV news -- haven't for a long time, not local, not network, not cable, not even sports.)
> 
> ...




you're going to be streaming live music for the foreseeable future
And that's not an unreasonable suggestion in these current plague times -  don't watch any TV news ---  cable, national, financial, local, or sports
But you have get information somewhere .... 
.
BTW -  I was in McLean this morning .. forgot to say hi


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## AwayWeGo (Mar 18, 2020)

Brett said:


> don't watch any TV news ---  cable, national, financial, local, or sports
> But you have get information somewhere


I have to make do with the electric internet. 

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


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## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> I dont think you will have to worry about social distancing there!  Looks pretty.  We have a trip scheduled in late July to that neck of the woods.


It is beautiful, I go often too.  Two ways to get to the top, steps, or a slightly inclined walk path.


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## pedro47 (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> Fyi, I watch/read the conservative and liberal channels to stay fully informed
> 
> There are many in every political spectrum that do not understand the severity.  Sickness and fear have no side, they occur in everyone.



Panina, I have agreed to stay in the house for the next 72 hours.
I will only go out side to retrieve the mail from the mail box.
I will not cut grass or work in my garden.
I will stay at home and will not make any social contacts with people.
The private is listening to the Commander-in-Chief. LOL.


----------



## JanT (Mar 18, 2020)

My comment was more tongue in cheek because Panina seemed to indicate some frustration with what he was watching.  But, it's no secret that some of the commentators on Fox up until recently blew the whole thing off, claiming it is a hoax to harm the current administration.  So, if that was the reason Panina's husband was kind of blowing it off, too, then I could understand her frustration.

 I didn't mean to offend anyone that watches Fox News.  I try to read/watch a broad range of coverage in order to keep a balanced perspective.



bbodb1 said:


> Or, more likely, both of you are showing your bias.
> If what you are suggesting is true, then was the hubby in question all happy and chipper before Fox News started?


----------



## JanT (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina,

My comment was meant more tongue in cheek.  Sorry if that offended you.  Like you, I try to read/watch both sides to keep a balanced perspective.



Panina said:


> Fyi, I watch/read the conservative and liberal channels to stay fully informed
> 
> There are many in every political spectrum that do not understand the severity.  Sickness and fear have no side, they occur in everyone.


----------



## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

pedro47 said:


> Panina, I have agreed to stay in the house for the next 72 hours.
> I will only go out side to retrieve the mail from the mail box.
> I will not cut grass or work in my garden.
> I will stay at home and will not make any social contacts with people.
> The private is listening to the Commander-in-Chief. LOL.


Why not working in the garden?  That is safer then the mail


----------



## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

JanT said:


> My comment was more tongue in cheek because Panina seemed to indicate some frustration with what he was watching.  But, it's no secret that some of the commentators on Fox up until recently blew the whole thing off, claiming it is a hoax to harm the current administration.  So, if that was the reason Panina's husband was kind of blowing it off, too, then I could understand her frustration.
> 
> I didn't mean to offend anyone that watches Fox News.  I try to read/watch a broad range of coverage in order to keep a balanced perspective.


Jan, i was trying to find a better way to state what i did (obviously never found it) but absolutely no offense was taken from your statement at all.
Initially I was going to say there were crabby people before Fox, there were crabby people before CNN and crabby people before that.  Current media may have elevated crabbiness but they certainly didn't invent it!
Im still working on a better expression!


----------



## JudyS (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> Just had a talk with him. Told him I have Tug friends that want to talk to him.  I reiterated it is getting bad out there.  Can he try to stay in for the 15 days they are requesting.  Maybe one run to the market if needed.  He said he will but not sure if he meant it. I should know by the afternoon.


WE have stocked up on food, toilet paper, etc, but my husband insists on going out to Lowe's. Going to Lowe's is like a daily routine for him.

I have liver failure and chronic kidney disease and he has had three heart procedures. I wish he would be more careful.


----------



## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

JanT said:


> Panina,
> 
> My comment was meant more tongue in cheek.  Sorry if that offended you.  Like you, I try to read/watch both sides to keep a balanced perspective.


It didn’t offend me. You are part of my tug family and thus I try to politely give my thoughts too.  Sometimes they are harsher then I thought. Everyone has a right to their opinion.  

Being I watch all the channels they all have pushed different things that were wrong. I just don’t want this thread to become political.

We are all in this together and our community is a strong support group through these hard times.


----------



## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

JudyS said:


> WE have stocked up on food, toilet paper, etc, but my husband insists on going out to Lowe's. Going to Lowe's is like a daily routine for him.
> 
> I have liver failure and chronic kidney disease and he has had three heart procedures. I wish he would be more careful.


There are many like us with another half that deals with this differently then us.  I feel for you as I fully understand how it affects you.

Today I was talking to my cousin and she asked why I was breathing loudly. I realized I was starting to have a panic attack, haven’t had them in a long time.  I made an excuse to get off the phone, put the air on cold, started deep breathing.  I was feeling hot, labored breathing and racing heart.  I took my allergy pill, I use to take twice a day, doctor wants me to try once every other day, I took it 5 hours early.  Once my breathing calmed took my fever, perfect, used my figure breathing oxygen counter, good too.

Realized watching and reading  too much news.  I thought I was calm, obviously not, watching cooking shows now.

This made me understand why my other half  is running out.  His way to deal with it as is yours.

He came home and wasn’t going to wash his hands, told me he took the car we haven’t used in weeks and was near no one.  After I told him he touched the door knob he washed them.  I wipe them down but he needs to always wash.

The mental sicknesses that can occur and cause physical sicknesses can be sadly worse then this virus.  I am overall a calm person and thought I was coping well, will now meditate.

I have heard first hand stories from my parents of the horrors they had gone through in the war.  This is pale  next to those experience. I now have a new respect for their ordeal and how they survived.


----------



## geekette (Mar 18, 2020)

.... We are all in this together and our community is a strong support group through these hard times. ❤ 

Yes.  It is especially helpful that we are dispersed, mostly through N. America.  Diversified across areas of expertise, interests, family make up, age, etc.

These are stressful times and it's going to get more difficult.  I think that overall we all respect each other and usually like each other.  Sure, there may be a blowhard ego case here and there (I almost referenced window washing as someone here has a new house with lots of windows), but overall we play nice.  We're going to have to keep it that way, forgive periodic eruptions of anger or whatnot, because this is the only approved playgroup some of us have ; )


----------



## VacationForever (Mar 18, 2020)

pianodinosaur said:


> DW has a deep commitment to honor her elderly parents.  She will continue to purchase groceries for them as she has been doing even prior to the advent of this virus pandemic.  There must be many others in this forum with identical beliefs and who are acting upon them in a similar fashion.
> 
> Got an email today from the Harris County Medical Society that Corona Virus testing is now available from Quest Diagnostics and Labcorps.


Ask her to use grocery delivery service for her parents.


----------



## pedro47 (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> Why not working in the garden?  That is safer then the mail


Because The Commander-in-Chief wants me to stay around a little while longer., with her.

I will wipe the mail box down tomorrow. Thanks for this thread.


----------



## rapmarks (Mar 18, 2020)

JudyS said:


> WE have stocked up on food, toilet paper, etc, but my husband insists on going out to Lowe's. Going to Lowe's is like a daily routine for him.
> 
> I have liver failure and chronic kidney disease and he has had three heart procedures. I wish he would be more careful.


Oh judy, hope you stay well


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 18, 2020)

I went out early this morning. Spent $374 on food to get my freezer filled. They had just one kind of expensive toilet paper so I did by one package. Limit was 2. Can’t get it on Amazon either. Has no shelf stable or dry milk or flour or much bread. I bought whatever brand of things at whatever price. Then after I got home and put everything away I went back to another store to get a few more things I forgot. Then I went to the liquor store and spent $70. Later my husband went to our mailbox and got my tissues ordered from Amazon from
My subscribe and save. He happened to see the UPS guy in the neighborhood so he asked about an envelope for me- the check I’ve been waiting for- and he handed it to my husband Without asking for the required signature! SMH...

Happy to have the check I went back out to the bank to deposit the check. Then I drove the 10 miles to get my hair cut finally!

And- It was so beautiful out I decided to walk the Meredith Sculpture Walk at the bay.  At least I felt like I had a productive day.

But I forgot the ketchup....But I did use a lot of antiseptic wipes when out.

My hubby? He stayed in most of the day on the internet and watching the construction work going on around us.


----------



## GetawaysRus (Mar 18, 2020)

pedro47 said:


> Panina, I have agreed to stay in the house for the next 72 hours.
> I will only go out side to retrieve the mail from the mail box.



I'll admit that I'm even concerned about the mail.  Mail presents a vulnerability to the outside world.  

My wife insists that we spray our mail with Lysol before we open things.  Spray one side, flip it over, then spray the other side, then wait a little while before opening.  Then clean my hands after picking up the mail (we have sanitizing wipes in the garage so that I can clean my hands before coming back inside).  I suppose if the postman has it, the whole neighborhood may get it.

These are crazy times.


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## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

Glad to see you are out and about as you can be Mary Ann!  Okay now, I have to ask - what is the story with the cows?


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## pedro47 (Mar 18, 2020)

WinniWoman, l liked those two photos, especially that lake scenery one.


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## Talent312 (Mar 18, 2020)

BTW, Walmart has caulking guns, and they're cheaper than Lowe's.
------------------------------
JudyS said: "We have stocked up on food, toilet paper, etc,"

Clerk: "We discourage hoarding. Many items are limited to two per person."
Me: "When shelves are already empty, that's closing the barn door after the horse has left."
-------------------------------
From www.health.com -- 
Alan Koff, MD, chief fellow of the infectious disease program at Yale School of Medicine: "It is likely that the temperature outside and the length of time the package is in shipping will impact the survival of the virus on that surface," Even if coronavirus coronavirus made it on to a package, it would likely not make it to your door.

There is a very small chance for coronavirus to be transmitted via packages or mail carriers. "I don't believe mail or packages should be a major concern for individuals," Amesh Adalja, MD, senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins University Center for Health Security.


.


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## Brett (Mar 18, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> I went out early this morning. Spent $374 on food to get my freezer filled. They had just one kind of expensive toilet paper so I did by one package. Limit was 2. Can’t get it on Amazon either. Has no shelf stable or dry milk or flour or much bread. I bought whatever brand of things at whatever price. Then after I got home and put everything away I went back to another store to get a few more things I forgot. Then I went to the liquor store and spent $70. Later my husband went to our mailbox and got my tissues ordered from Amazon from
> My subscribe and save. He happened to see the UPS guy in the neighborhood so he asked about an envelope for me- the check I’ve been waiting for- and he handed it to my husband Without asking for the required signature! SMH...
> 
> Happy to have the check I went back out to the bank to deposit the check. Then I drove the 10 miles to get my hair cut finally!
> ...





pedro47 said:


> WinniWoman, l liked those two photos, especially that lake scenery one.



yes, nice scene with snow 
it's warm and sunny in southeast Virginia
was there any snow this year ?


----------



## WVBaker (Mar 18, 2020)

Here’s how long the coronavirus will last on surfaces, and how to disinfect those surfaces.
					

"Never mix household bleach with ammonia or any other cleanser," CDC says.




					www.livescience.com
				












						How long can the new coronavirus last on surfaces?
					

The answer is unclear. But if the new coronavirus is anything like other coronaviruses, it can last up to 9 days.  How long can the new coronavirus last on surfaces? : Read more




					forums.livescience.com


----------



## lockewong (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> There are many like us with another half that deals with this differently then us.  I feel for you as I fully understand how it affects you.
> 
> Today I was talking to my cousin and she asked why I was breathing loudly. I realized I was starting to have a panic attack, haven’t had them in a long time.  I made an excuse to get off the phone, put the air on cold, started deep breathing.  I was feeling hot, labored breathing and racing heart.  I took my allergy pill, I use to take twice a day, doctor wants me to try once every other day, I took it 5 hours early.  Once my breathing calmed took my fever, perfect, used my figure breathing oxygen counter, good too.
> 
> ...


Panina, please do meditate.  It will help.  Do whatever you can to find that inner voice and inner peace.  I am going to make pasta.  It is time consuming but requires attention to details and working with my hands.  As Geekette said, we are all here together and here to support each other.  You know your husband loves you and you know part of your anxiety is that you care about his health.  Coming from that place of caring will guide you in the next difficult days.  Mental hugs from a safe social distance.


----------



## bbodb1 (Mar 18, 2020)

lockewong said:


> Panina, please do meditate.  It will help...


And a fine scotch will be a wonderful additional touch!


----------



## IngridN (Mar 18, 2020)

GetawaysRus said:


> I'll admit that I'm even concerned about the mail.  Mail presents a vulnerability to the outside world.
> 
> My wife insists that we spray our mail with Lysol before we open things.  Spray one side, flip it over, then spray the other side, then wait a little while before opening.  Then clean my hands after picking up the mail (we have sanitizing wipes in the garage so that I can clean my hands before coming back inside).  I suppose if the postman has it, the whole neighborhood may get it.
> 
> These are crazy times.



As there's nothing in our mail that needs immediate attention, I toss it in the laundry room and let any virus bake! Supposedly virus lives <1 day on paper surfaces, but up to 3 days on plastic, stainless steel and the like. A day or more later, I get to it.

Ingrid


----------



## rapmarks (Mar 18, 2020)

GetawaysRus said:


> I'll admit that I'm even concerned about the mail.  Mail presents a vulnerability to the outside world.
> 
> My wife insists that we spray our mail with Lysol before we open things.  Spray one side, flip it over, then spray the other side, then wait a little while before opening.  Then clean my hands after picking up the mail (we have sanitizing wipes in the garage so that I can clean my hands before coming back inside).  I suppose if the postman has it, the whole neighborhood may get it.
> 
> These are crazy times.


So envious that you have wipes and Lysol


----------



## geekette (Mar 18, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> I went out early this morning. Spent $374 on food to get my freezer filled. They had just one kind of expensive toilet paper so I did by one package. Limit was 2. Can’t get it on Amazon either. Has no shelf stable or dry milk or flour or much bread. I bought whatever brand of things at whatever price. Then after I got home and put everything away I went back to another store to get a few more things I forgot. Then I went to the liquor store and spent $70. Later my husband went to our mailbox and got my tissues ordered from Amazon from
> My subscribe and save. He happened to see the UPS guy in the neighborhood so he asked about an envelope for me- the check I’ve been waiting for- and he handed it to my husband Without asking for the required signature! SMH...
> 
> Happy to have the check I went back out to the bank to deposit the check. Then I drove the 10 miles to get my hair cut finally!
> ...



Who is your super cute shoulder buddy??


----------



## GetawaysRus (Mar 18, 2020)

IngridN said:


> As there's nothing in our mail that needs immediate attention, I toss it in the laundry room and let any virus bake! Supposedly virus lives <1 day on paper surfaces, but up to 3 days on plastic, stainless steel and the like. A day or more later, I get to it.
> Ingrid



Here's a fun vocabulary word for today: fomite

Google's definition:  an inanimate object or substance that is capable of transmitting infectious organisms from one individual to another. 

As everyone has learned recently, viruses can survive for hours to days on a wide variety of surfaces.

There are fomites everywhere.  I purchased gasoline today.  Oops - that gas pump is another potential fomite.  I have some disposable gloves that I keep at home, so I used them.  My wife was with me, so she insisted that I use a sanitizing wipe afterwards anyway.


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 18, 2020)

geekette said:


> Who is your super cute shoulder buddy??



That be Moosilauke! (named after a famous peak in these parts!).


----------



## alwysonvac (Mar 18, 2020)

@Panina  Maybe some data will help.

The first part shows the number of reported US cases so he can watch the numbers grow - https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/cases-in-us.html

The second part below takes a look at China’s data for Hubei, which includes the city of Wuhan. It shows a timeline of reported new cases (Orange bar) vs the actual new cases (grey bar)which were based on when patients reported their symptoms started. The comparison shows a huge gap which makes folks very nervous that our actual numbers might be significantly higher. 






There was a recent NY Times article that had a link to a white paper. The following is from that white paper titled “*Coronavirus: Why You Must Act Now”* (link).




_“This is one of the most important charts._​​_It shows in orange bars the daily official number of cases in the Hubei province: How many people were diagnosed that day._​​_The grey bars show the true daily coronavirus cases. The Chinese CDC found these by asking patients during the diagnostic when their symptoms started._​​_Crucially, these true cases weren’t known at the time. We can only figure them out looking backwards: The authorities don’t know that somebody just started having symptoms. They know when somebody goes to the doctor and gets diagnosed._​​_What this means is that the orange bars show you what authorities knew, and the grey ones what was really happening._​​_On January 21st, the number of new diagnosed cases (orange) is exploding: there are around 100 new cases. In reality, there were 1,500 new cases that day, growing exponentially. But the authorities didn’t know that. What they knew was that suddenly there were 100 new cases of this new illness._​​_Two days later, authorities shut down Wuhan. At that point, the number of diagnosed daily new cases was ~400. Note that number: they made a decision to close the city with just 400 new cases in a day. In reality, there were 2,500 new cases that day, but they didn’t know that._​​_The day after, another 15 cities in Hubei shut down._​​_Up until Jan 23rd, when Wuhan closes, you can look at the grey graph: it’s growing exponentially. True cases were exploding. As soon as Wuhan shuts down, cases slow down. On Jan 24th, when another 15 cities shut down, the number of true cases (again, grey) grinds to a halt. Two days later, the maximum number of true cases was reached, and it has gone down ever since._​​_Note that the orange (official) cases were still growing exponentially: For 12 more days, it looked like this thing was still exploding. But it wasn’t. It’s just that the cases were getting stronger symptoms and going to the doctor more, and the system to identify them was stronger.”_​​​_

_​


----------



## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

lockewong said:


> Panina, please do meditate.  It will help.  Do whatever you can to find that inner voice and inner peace.  I am going to make pasta.  It is time consuming but requires attention to details and working with my hands.  As Geekette said, we are all here together and here to support each other.  You know your husband loves you and you know part of your anxiety is that you care about his health.  Coming from that place of caring will guide you in the next difficult days.  Mental hugs from a safe social distance.


Thank you.  I had recorded some episodes of “That Girl”. Was too young’s when it first aired but remembered watching it towards the end of its run.  Watched 6 episodes and laughed, it helped bringing the stress down. Mindless tv.

My other half said it was crowded at Crowders Mountain but he kept his distance.  He came home, ate  and then spent the rest of the day in the garden.  He came in and told me he has to make another run to Lowe’s tomorrow.  Told me he wants to get lots of soil, it is kept in the outside area of Lowe’s and it will be quick.  I took a deep breathe.  I said you really need to eliminate these extra runs, your putting us in danger.  He said this will be the last one to Lowe’s.  I can only hope.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> There are many like us with another half that deals with this differently then us.  I feel for you as I fully understand how it affects you.
> 
> Today I was talking to my cousin and she asked why I was breathing loudly. I realized I was starting to have a panic attack, haven’t had them in a long time.  I made an excuse to get off the phone, put the air on cold, started deep breathing.  I was feeling hot, labored breathing and racing heart.  I took my allergy pill, I use to take twice a day, doctor wants me to try once every other day, I took it 5 hours early.  Once my breathing calmed took my fever, perfect, used my figure breathing oxygen counter, good too.
> 
> ...



I agree with this: "The mental sicknesses that can occur and cause physical sicknesses can be sadly worse than this virus."


----------



## lockewong (Mar 18, 2020)

Panina said:


> Thank you.  I had recorded some episodes of “That Girl”. Was too young’s when it first aired but remembered watching it towards the end of its run.  Watched 6 episodes and laughed, it helped bringing the stress down. Mindless tv.
> 
> My other half said it was crowded at Crowders Mountain but he kept his distance.  He came home, ate  and then spent the rest of the day in the garden.  He came in and told me he has to make another run to Lowe’s tomorrow.  Told me he wants to get lots of soil, it is kept in the outside area of Lowe’s and it will be quick.  I took a deep breathe.  I said you really need to eliminate these extra runs, your putting us in danger.  He said this will be the last one to Lowe’s.  I can only hope.


Good for you.  I remember my sister watching "That Girl". I remember thinking she was a "Ditz" but then, her charity efforts made me think the writers had another character in mind for Marlo Thomas.  Tell DH to grab the fertilizer and pest control stuff on the same run to limit any other extra runs.  That will keep him in the garden for a while.  Keep breathing.


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 18, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> Glad to see you are out and about as you can be Mary Ann!  Okay now, I have to ask - what is the story with the cows?



Lol! I just love cows! Love farms and dairy and Vermont!


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 18, 2020)

Brett said:


> yes, nice scene with snow
> it's warm and sunny in southeast Virginia
> was there any snow this year ?



We had a lot of snow in January and the beginning of February and then it subsided. It actually snowed yesterday but it melted.


----------



## Panina (Mar 18, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> We had a lot of snow in January and the beginning of February and then it subsided. It actually snowed yesterday but it melted.


It is forecast to be in the 80’s in SC the next two days.


----------



## rickandcindy23 (Mar 18, 2020)

My stepdad is 86.  He likes to go to Harbor Freight Tools and look around.  I told him to cut that out.  He eats dinner with us every night, and I said he is putting us at risk too.  He said he didn't think of that.  He also goes to WalMart every four days to get fruit, yogurt, cereal and milk.  Today he had his groceries delivered.  He watches TCM all of the time, all of those black and white movies.  I told him a few days ago to turn on the dang news once in a while.  Holy cow.


----------



## Talent312 (Mar 19, 2020)

rickandcindy23 said:


> ... He watches TCM all of the time, all of those black and white movies.  I told him a few days ago to turn on the dang news once in a while.



News is now exclusively coronavirus, 24/7. We need a break from the sky falling down.
Those old movies can be infectious (a pun). We took a TCM tour in NYC a few years ago.

.


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 19, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I just tried to order groceries online and in my area due to the demand it is a 8 day delay in getting me the groceries... I will have to go out today just to get essentials that can tide us over till they can deliver my groceries in 8 days....



Dang, I just got an email that my order will not not ship till April...

Does anyone know grocery stores delivering in a timely manner in the burbs of Detroit?


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 19, 2020)

easyrider said:


> I was told that Lowes and Home Depot are required to have a group of employees that will make sure that social distancing takes place. I kind of want to go in today to get the rest of the things I need but I'm not sure what all I need until I need it. I'm certain I bought many items I don't need yet.
> 
> Bill



I really need TP and not find in anywhere...I've told the family your down to 4 slices per wipe...


----------



## Talent312 (Mar 19, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I really need TP and not find in anywhere...I've told the family your down to 4 slices per wipe...



You could use facial tissues or napkins (small, smooth)...
Both of which were nearly wiped out at our grocery.
As a last resort, wet washcloths that you launder each time.

------------------------
“Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper.
We cannot bring you toilet paper.”
_-- Police Department of Newport, Oregon (on Facebook)_


----------



## Glynda (Mar 19, 2020)

Panina said:


> He sent me a picture showing me he used gloves at the cash machine.  I answered hope you didn’t send this text holding your phone with the glove. He says he is being very careful but I have no way to know for sure.
> 
> Thank you for trying to make me feel better.  I just found out my 85 year old mom in NYC went out today.  Said don’t worry I wore, gloves, mask and a wig.  It is what it is.



My 98 year old mother takes a walk around the block, two if she has the energy, every day the weather allows. Hubby and I alternate going with her.  We do not touch anything. The streets are much quieter and if we see a neighbor out we stand 6 to 10 feet apart to speak to one another. I plan to take a longer walk today to an area where I am unlikely to meet anyone else. Need some exercise and fresh air.


----------



## Rolltydr (Mar 19, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> You could use facial tissues or napkins...
> Both of which were nearly wiped out at our grocery.
> As a last resort, wet washcloths that you launder each time.
> 
> ...


Facial tissues, yes. Napkins, paper towels and even wet wipes can clog your sewer lines if used frequently.


----------



## Brett (Mar 19, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I really need TP and not find in anywhere...I've told the family your down to 4 slices per wipe...
> [/QU



hope you have a plan B if you _run_ out


----------



## geekette (Mar 19, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I really need TP and not find in anywhere...I've told the family your down to 4 slices per wipe...


Baby wipes.  do not flush them!  obviously, empty bathroom trash very very often.


----------



## Panina (Mar 19, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I really need TP and not find in anywhere...I've told the family your down to 4 slices per wipe...


During the war my parents used rags, newspaper/book pages and leaves.  I personally would also try take a spray bottle and fill it with water and use is like a manual bidet or run into the shower for a quick cleaning.


----------



## Glynda (Mar 19, 2020)

JanT said:


> You have answered your own question at the beginning of this sentence.



Not a Fox News lover myself, but hubby is a lover of the Fox Business channel and it is on a lot at our house though I insist we watch other news programs as well.  I've heard nothing on Fox Business that sounds to me as if they are discounting the severity of this. Just the opposite.


----------



## Passepartout (Mar 19, 2020)

The stores here are stocking overnight and having 'senior hours' when they first open so vulnerable people can get the stuff in shoer supply and not have the younger people crowding around while they get the necessities.

Jim


----------



## Panina (Mar 19, 2020)

Passepartout said:


> The stores here are stocking overnight and having 'senior hours' when they first open so vulnerable people can get the stuff in shoer supply and not have the younger people crowding around while they get the necessities.
> 
> Jim


Our state governor requested that grocers do this voluntarily but the ones near me have not yet.


----------



## Passepartout (Mar 19, 2020)

Panina said:


> Our state governor requested that grocers do this voluntarily but the ones near me have not yet.


Even if they don't restrict hours, they're still stocking at night. If you make a 'TP run' when they open, you should be able to get some before the thundering herd arrives.  Good Luck!


----------



## klpca (Mar 19, 2020)

True confession time - I have been going to work. This is the busiest time of year for our office and it's a two person office, so I figured that I (and my boss) would be ok. To be honest, this was not actually my choice. Until Monday, my boss was in the "it's a hoax" camp, so there was no reasoning with him. The only area that concerned me was the communal bathroom that our office neighbors share with us. I just made sure that I treated that room like it was a nuclear waste site and scrubbed my hands like I was scrubbing for surgery.  Last night my daughter developed a low grade fever, cough, and sore throat. I went to check my temperature for a baseline and it was 99.1. Ugh. This morning I have no fever but I have a headache and a very mild sore throat. What to do, what to do? Although I know what I have to do - call my IT guy and get set up to work from home. My boss will be furious, but I am sure that it's the right thing to do. There's nothing worse than working for someone who thinks that a pandemic is a hoax.


----------



## Glynda (Mar 19, 2020)

Panina said:


> It is beautiful, I go often too.  Two ways to get to the top, steps, or a slightly inclined walk path.



I know it's in NC and am thinking it's near Gastonia.  Is that the one?  Hubby used to work in Kings Mountain, NC.


----------



## Panina (Mar 19, 2020)

klpca said:


> True confession time - I have been going to work. This is the busiest time of year for our office and it's a two person office, so I figured that I (and my boss) would be ok. To be honest, this was not actually my choice. Until Monday, my boss was in the "it's a hoax" camp, so there was no reasoning with him. The only area that concerned me was the communal bathroom that our office neighbors share with us. I just made sure that I treated that room like it was a nuclear waste site and scrubbed my hands like I was scrubbing for surgery.  Last night my daughter developed a low grade fever, cough, and sore throat. I went to check my temperature for a baseline and it was 99.1. Ugh. This morning I have no fever but I have a headache and a very mild sore throat. What to do, what to do? Although I know what I have to do - call my IT guy and get set up to work from home. My boss will be furious, but I am sure that it's the right thing to do. There's nothing worse than working for someone who thinks that a pandemic is a hoax.


I am sure when your boss hears you are sick he will want you nowhere near him.  As far as your symptoms, don’t  assume it is coronavirus as there are many other viruses out there right now including the flu, as my doctor told me.

I had your symptoms at the  start, first day low grade fever and headache, then followed by 3 days of a sore throat, then a day of chills, followed by a sore throat for 3 days, with slightly labored breathing.  I never thought much of it as it was 3 weeks ago but now I am ok.  Deep down I am hoping it was the coronavirus.

Meanwhile do what you would do for any other cold, virus you get.  Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Panina (Mar 19, 2020)

Glynda said:


> I know it's in NC and am thinking it's near Gastonia.  Is that the one?  Hubby used to work in Kings Mountain, NC.


Yes near Gastonia.


----------



## Glynda (Mar 19, 2020)

Panina said:


> Why not working in the garden?  That is safer then the mail



So how long can the virus remain on paper?  I've been nervous about getting/handling/reading the newspaper and the mail. Two slick covered catalogues came yesterday that I want to look at but have set them outside for 24 hours. Long enough?  I don't know.  Told hubby that he must open the mail box with a paper towel and to put a bag with handles in there for mailman to put mail in so he can carry by handles using paper towels to the porch. We have a city mailman who walks our route and ours is a vertical mailbox attached to our walk-in gate. Many homes have mail slots on their front doors and the mail falls inside the house. That mailman has touched every box or mail slot on his route. While there is more automatic sorting of mail, I wonder how many others have handled it.  Newspaper, mail and package deliveries seem to be our greatest vulnerabilities right now.


----------



## Glynda (Mar 19, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> So envious that you have wipes and Lysol



Me too!


----------



## LMD (Mar 19, 2020)

Glynda said:


> So how long can the virus remain on paper?  I've been nervous about getting/handling/reading the newspaper and the mail. Two slick covered catalogues came yesterday that I want to look at but have set them outside for 24 hours. Long enough?  I don't know.  Told hubby that he must open the mail box with a paper towel and to put a bag with handles in there for mailman to put mail in so he can carry by handles using paper towels to the porch. We have a city mailman who walks our route and ours is a vertical mailbox attached to our walk-in gate. Many homes have mail slots on their front doors and the mail falls inside the house. That mailman has touched every box or mail slot on his route. While there is more automatic sorting of mail, I wonder how many others have handled it.  Newspaper, mail and package deliveries seem to be our greatest vulnerabilities right now.


I do know cardboard is 2 days and plastic is 3. I would assume paper is also 2. Just spray it with Lysol and let it sit for a bit. I have even wiped down some of my grocery store items with Lysol wipes.


----------



## Glynda (Mar 19, 2020)

LMD said:


> I do know cardboard is 2 days and plastic is 3. I would assume paper is also 2. Just spray it with Lysol and let it sit for a bit. I have even wiped down some of my grocery store items with Lysol wipes.



Unfortunately, I began looking for Lysol spray two and a half weeks ago and found none.  That's a commodity I never thought I'd value over a new pair of shoes, but I do now!


----------



## Panina (Mar 19, 2020)

Glynda said:


> So how long can the virus remain on paper?  I've been nervous about getting/handling/reading the newspaper and the mail. Two slick covered catalogues came yesterday that I want to look at but have set them outside for 24 hours. Long enough?  I don't know.  Told hubby that he must open the mail box with a paper towel and to put a bag with handles in there for mailman to put mail in so he can carry by handles using paper towels to the porch. We have a city mailman who walks our route and ours is a vertical mailbox attached to our walk-in gate. Many homes have mail slots on their front doors and the mail falls inside the house. That mailman has touched every box or mail slot on his route. While there is more automatic sorting of mail, I wonder how many others have handled it.  Newspaper, mail and package deliveries seem to be our greatest vulnerabilities right now.


I treat the mail like anything else brought in my house.  I wipe it down, sit in one area to open, throw out the parts of the mail not needed, leave the needed in a pile for a few days, then I wash my hands, wipe down the counter where I opened it and then wash my hands again.  This I feel I have more control of, maybe I am wrong, then the droplets in the air if I venture into a store.


----------



## JanT (Mar 19, 2020)

Not on Fox Business.  On Fox News Channel



Glynda said:


> Not a Fox News lover myself, but hubby is a lover of the Fox Business channel and it is on a lot at our house though I insist we watch other news programs as well.  I've heard nothing on Fox Business that sounds to me as if they are discounting the severity of this. Just the opposite.


----------



## Glynda (Mar 19, 2020)

JanT said:


> Not on Fox Business.  On Fox News Channel



Yes, I read that.  Fox Business reports news also though and the virus has been at the forefront.


----------



## AwayWeGo (Mar 19, 2020)

Brett said:


> you're going to be streaming live music for the foreseeable future


I broke it yesterday to the Grand Pro of my 5-piece brass group that I'm calling it quits on more rehearsals till the virus situation clears up -- although in the event that the Easter gig is not canceled & more rehearsal is needed, I'm willing to reconsider.  

No response yet.  Grand Pro is mulling it over, I suppose. 

(Leader of the ensemble is a retired U.S. army full colonel.  He might not know what to make of such dereliction of duty & insubordination from an ex-E5.)

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​


----------



## rickandcindy23 (Mar 19, 2020)

If you have pets, be very careful of Lysol spray.  The spray gets into their nose passages and causes severe infection.  When our cat was really sick, she was a sensitive little indoor cat, the vet said, "You don't spray Lysol all over your house, do you?"  I said, "Yes, I do sometimes, because I like the clean smell."  He told me never to use it in the same room with a cat or dog.  This could make you think your pet has the virus.


----------



## VacationForever (Mar 19, 2020)

@Sugarcubesea Run into the shower for a quick wash with soap and water would be my recommendation too.


----------



## VacationForever (Mar 19, 2020)

Glynda said:


> So how long can the virus remain on paper?  I've been nervous about getting/handling/reading the newspaper and the mail. Two slick covered catalogues came yesterday that I want to look at but have set them outside for 24 hours. Long enough?  I don't know.  Told hubby that he must open the mail box with a paper towel and to put a bag with handles in there for mailman to put mail in so he can carry by handles using paper towels to the porch. We have a city mailman who walks our route and ours is a vertical mailbox attached to our walk-in gate. Many homes have mail slots on their front doors and the mail falls inside the house. That mailman has touched every box or mail slot on his route. While there is more automatic sorting of mail, I wonder how many others have handled it.  Newspaper, mail and package deliveries seem to be our greatest vulnerabilities right now.


Yes, I read that the virus can stay on paper and cardboard boxes for 24 hours.  I pick up the mail or packages from outside the home, bring them in and put them by the front door, wash my hands really well and then wait for the next day before going through them.  I breakdown the packaging material by my front door and then take them down when I go out, and squirt my hands with Purrell.


----------



## Rolltydr (Mar 19, 2020)

klpca said:


> True confession time - I have been going to work. This is the busiest time of year for our office and it's a two person office, so I figured that I (and my boss) would be ok. To be honest, this was not actually my choice. Until Monday, my boss was in the "it's a hoax" camp, so there was no reasoning with him. The only area that concerned me was the communal bathroom that our office neighbors share with us. I just made sure that I treated that room like it was a nuclear waste site and scrubbed my hands like I was scrubbing for surgery. Last night my daughter developed a low grade fever, cough, and sore throat. I went to check my temperature for a baseline and it was 99.1. Ugh. This morning I have no fever but I have a headache and a very mild sore throat. What to do, what to do? Although I know what I have to do - call my IT guy and get set up to work from home. My boss will be furious, but I am sure that it's the right thing to do. There's nothing worse than working for someone who thinks that a pandemic is a hoax.



I hope you feel better soon! I’m also sorry your boss is an idiot, at least when it comes to this. 


Harry


----------



## Talent312 (Mar 19, 2020)

klpca said:


> ... I know what I have to do - call my IT guy and get set up to work from home. My boss will be furious, but I am sure that it's the right thing to do. There's nothing worse than working for someone who thinks that a pandemic is a hoax.



Ask him if you could bring him a Corona with virus on the side.

You may also want to check with your doc about ordering a test.
Some doc's have in-house labs; others use private labs paid by insurance.
.


----------



## klpca (Mar 19, 2020)

IT got everything set up so I am good to go. Off to work (which is now upstairs in the guest room).


----------



## IngridN (Mar 19, 2020)

Passepartout said:


> The stores here are stocking overnight and having 'senior hours' when they first open so vulnerable people can get the stuff in shoer supply and not have the younger people crowding around while they get the necessities.
> 
> Jim



It would be nice if they enforced it. Went to our local Safeway this morning to take advantage of it and watched as a 30something read the note on the door then told her partner to get a cart. The store was way too crowded for my comfort so I left. Went to one of the smaller grocery stores and got most of the things I needed there. No crowds. Drove by Costco 45 minutes before opening time and the line snaked way back to the Back 40 parking lot. Got some gas even though I didn't need any and then left. Small grocery stores for me until this is over.

Ingrid


----------



## IngridN (Mar 19, 2020)

Passepartout said:


> Even if they don't restrict hours, they're still stocking at night. If you make a 'TP run' when they open, you should be able to get some before the thundering herd arrives.  Good Luck!



In our area, you need to get there 1+ hour before opening to have a prayer of scoring some tp and other essentials. After my morning coffee, I can't hold it that long .

Ingrid


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## Panina (Mar 19, 2020)

So I think he will be more careful. I told him about my how nervous this made me without me realizing it and I had to turn the news off.    I have been doing fine with my meditation breathing.

There are two places he wants to go, to the grocery for food and to Lowe’s to get the rest of the supplies he needs for working in the garden.

I convinced him, at least I think I did to go as soon as the stores open, 6 am for Lowe’s and 7am to the grocery, once a week.   I told him I would go with him and he said ok.  I figured this way I know for sure where he was and can take the precautions necessary, wipe downs, distancing, etc. 

 I called the grocery and they told me at opening they have only had about 10 people waiting and the store is much busier throughout the day, the crowds are still going. Lowe’s, the items he needs are in the open outside area.

I still would prefer staying totally in as I know we have enough food but once a week is a good compromise if he keeps to it.  Tomorrow morning  up at 5 am as I think it will be Lowe’s.


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## chellej (Mar 19, 2020)

DS lives in the DFW area.  He has been telecommuting for about a week. He called today saying he had to get out DW was driving him crazy and didn't want him to go out at all.  Made him take mask & gloves.   He was looking for validation that she was overreacting. I have been telling him for several weeks he really needs to be careful.  He is in his 30s  but completed chemo 12 months ago and still is recovering from the effects of chemo.  Told him I AGREE WITH dw 100% ,  he doesn't see he is in the high risk group but he is.  He keeps thinking that it is like the flu...feel bad for a few days and then all is well.  I hope I got through to him...he is exactly the group of vulnerable people who could have a really bad outcome.

Of course, it also took me a while to come around that I am over 60 and in that group as well.


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## Sugarcubesea (Mar 19, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> You could use facial tissues or napkins (small, smooth)...
> Both of which were nearly wiped out at our grocery.
> As a last resort, wet washcloths that you launder each time.
> 
> ...



I'm hoping I can just find TP...the other stuff I'm good on....


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## IngridN (Mar 19, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I'm hoping I can just find TP...the other stuff I'm good on....



I just placed an order on Costco online after trying all week without luck. Limit 1 to member. Delivery scheduled for next Wednesday .


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## VacationForever (Mar 19, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I'm hoping I can just find TP...the other stuff I'm good on....


You may want to post the approximate location of where you are and ask if there are any TUGers who live near you may be able to sell you an extra bag that they have.  Just a thought.


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## VacationForever (Mar 19, 2020)

IngridN said:


> I just placed an order on Costco online after trying all week without luck. Limit 1 to member. Delivery scheduled for next Wednesday .


Thanks for the heads-up!  I checked and it is on the website.  We don't like Kirkland brand toilet paper - too rough, but we may just order one bag too.  Never mind!  I just clicked on it and it said Out of Stock. Bummer.


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## IngridN (Mar 19, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> Thanks for the heads-up!  I checked and it is on the website.  We don't like Kirkland brand toilet paper - too rough, but we may just order one bag too.  Never mind!  I just clicked on it and it said Out of Stock. Bummer.



Keep trying. I tried every day for the past week and today hit the jackpot!  I don't know if this is Costco-wide, but in our area, they are opening an hour early and limiting access to seniors (>60) on Tuesdays and Thursdays starting next Tuesday. They are checking id, unlike a local grocery story who lets anyone in during the 'senior' times. If you arrive early and see the queue at the regular entrance, use the Exit as an entrance. I'll be there next Tuesday for our usual berries, tomatoes and Costco chicken noodle soup and rotis ckn.


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## VacationForever (Mar 19, 2020)

IngridN said:


> Keep trying. I tried every day for the past week and today hit the jackpot!  I don't know if this is Costco-wide, but in our area, they are opening an hour early and limiting access to seniors (>60) on Tuesdays and Thursdays starting next Tuesday. They are checking id, unlike a local grocery story who lets anyone in during the 'senior' times. If you arrive early and see the queue at the regular entrance, use the Exit as an entrance. I'll be there next Tuesday for our usual berries, tomatoes and Costco chicken noodle soup and rotis ckn.



I will keep checking online.  We have stopped going to the stores.  In fact we are heading out now to get our curbside pickup/delivery at a grocery store.


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## geekette (Mar 19, 2020)

IngridN said:


> I just placed an order on Costco online after trying all week without luck. Limit 1 to member. Delivery scheduled for next Wednesday .


thank you for this public service announcement!


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## pedro47 (Mar 20, 2020)

I am praying Costco is taking care and protecting all their dedicated employees.


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## Panina (Mar 20, 2020)

My other half was supposed to wake me this morning at 5:30 am to go with him to Lowe’s, he didn’t.  I woke up at 5:55 and he was gone.  I called him 6:15 and he was at Lowe’s, said he didn’t want to wake me.  As I am writing this at 8am he just left Home Depot and is on his way to Ace Hardware as he couldn’t find something he needed.  So he didn’t keep to his word and each Store he goes to puts both of us at more risk.  The only good thing is he went early, as the stores are cleaned overnight.  He said on the phone there were few people there.


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## bluehende (Mar 20, 2020)

Panina said:


> My other half was supposed to wake me this morning at 5:30 am to go with him to Lowe’s, he didn’t.  I woke up at 5:55 and he was gone.  I called him 6:15 and he was at Lowe’s, said he didn’t want to wake me.  As I am writing this at 8am he just left Home Depot and is on his way to Ace Hardware as he couldn’t find something he needed.  So he didn’t keep to his word and each Store he goes to puts both of us at more risk.  The only good thing is he went early, as the stores are cleaned overnight.  He said on the phone there were few people there.


  This is coming from a male (as opposed to what my screen name implies).  It seems pretty evident to me that he is ignoring your fears and doing whatever he damn well pleases.  Funny how you going with him would have been very inconvenient for him going to 3 stores and somehow it did not happen.  It is time to have a very escalated discussion with him for everyone's safety.  You will be in my thoughts today.


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## Panina (Mar 20, 2020)

bluehende said:


> This is coming from a male (as opposed to what my screen name implies).  It seems pretty evident to me that he is ignoring your fears and doing whatever he damn well pleases.  Funny how you going with him would have been very inconvenient for him going to 3 stores and somehow it did not happen.  It is time to have a very escalated discussion with him for everyone's safety.  You will be in my thoughts today.


I will talk to him again but realize lots of this is him not being able to cope.  Yesterday was the first day he totally stood in, no stores, no walks, no hiking.   He maybe slept 3 hours, got back from stores 8:30 and in a half hour lugged many bags of soil to a steep back yard and now digging holes, lots of nervous energy.  

He did not stop at a food store so he kept to that. Almost everything is closed around us except groceries, drug stores, hardware and a few take outs. Our number of infected is very low in the area but I realize that means little.

With no where to go I am stuck.  I can only hope my next discussion is heard.  This was supposed to be the only trip to the hardware stores this week, hopefully it is.


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## VacationForever (Mar 20, 2020)

Panina said:


> I will talk to him again but realize lots of this is him not being able to cope.  Yesterday was the first day he totally stood in, no stores, no walks, no hiking.   He maybe slept 3 hours, got back from stores 8:30 and in a half hour lugged many bags of soil to a steep back yard and now digging holes, lots of nervous energy.
> 
> He did not stop at a food store so he kept to that. Almost everything is closed around us except groceries, drug stores, hardware and a few take outs. Our number of infected is very low in the area but I realize that means little.
> 
> With no where to go I am stuck.  I can only hope my next discussion is heard.  This was supposed to be the only trip to the hardware stores this week, hopefully it is.


You both should be able to walk and hike in areas that are not crowded.


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## TravelTime (Mar 20, 2020)

On some threads, people are calling other people selfish if they go out, like the Spring Breakers in Florida. However, maybe we need more compassion as to why people are doing what they are doing. Just like with @Panina’s other half. It is very hard to stay in 24/7. For many people, the virus seems like a distant risk. It is very hard to get everyone to comply with the shelter at home restrictions.


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## Panina (Mar 20, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> You both should be able to walk and hike in areas that are not crowded.


Yes, will have to do more hiking to relieve his nervous energy.  He is fast asleep now.  He exhausted himself.  We talked, It went as good as it could.


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## Panina (Mar 20, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> On some threads, people are calling other people selfish if they go out, like the Spring Breakers in Florida. However, maybe we need more compassion as to why people are doing what they are doing. Just like with @Panina’s other half. It is very hard to stay in 24/7. For many people, the virus seems like a distant risk. It is very hard to get everyone to comply with the shelter at home restrictions.


There is a balance between physical and mental health and keeping yourself and others safe.  

This can go on for many weeks and  I realized there are times we will need to go to the stores, out for walks/hikes,etc.  

Keeping distance is important just in case we are carriers and don’t know it, hygiene too.  He put his disposable gloves on entering the stores and put them in the garbage on the way out, washed his hands and changed when he got home.  

I have been worried about him going out because he has a 24/7 irregular heartbeat.  The specialists say it isn’t due to heart disease, he is the low % that it just happens.  Deep down I am afraid that puts him at a higher risk factor.  Watching him go out makes me nervous.  

You are right, compassion goes a long way.


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## Miss Marty (Mar 20, 2020)

How do you know for sure people are out (shopping)
and spending time with a friend they can talk to
without having to answer to their spouse and/or
family members about the coronavirus outbreak


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## Panina (Mar 20, 2020)

Miss Marty said:


> How do you know for sure people are out (shopping)
> and  not spending time with a friend they can talk to
> without having to answer to their spouse and/or
> family members about the coronavirus outbreak


I don’t have to worry about that.  My other half is a loner.  He socializes when I plan it.   Sometimes I envy him that he is ok being alone. I crave the company of others.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Mar 20, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> I will keep checking online.  We have stopped going to the stores.  In fact we are heading out now to get our curbside pickup/delivery at a grocery store.


following this suggestion, I tried Costco yesterday afternoon.  Completely sold out. 

I decided to retry this morning, thinking that restocking of supplies might occur overnight.  Bingo!!!!  Supposed to arrive in 2-5 business days.


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## rickandcindy23 (Mar 20, 2020)

So my mother-in-law, Rick's stepmom, who is now almost 92, is insisting on going to her hair appointment today.  She goes every Friday.  Rick told her to make sure the salon is open first, and they are open.  So Rick is going to drive her to her appointment because it snowed, and she cannot drive in the snow.  The lady that does her hair is 67, so she is in a high-risk group, and my mother-in-law of course is in an extremely high-risk group.  These old ladies that need to get their hair done every week, well it's just a strange thing.  My husband will be at risk.  Helen also needs groceries, and I told Rick I would just order them, but Helen says she misses going out, so she wants to just go to WalMart.  Ridiculous.


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## Rolltydr (Mar 20, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> On some threads, people are calling other people selfish if they go out, like the Spring Breakers in Florida. However, maybe we need more compassion as to why people are doing what they are doing. Just like with @Panina’s other half. It is very hard to stay in 24/7. For many people, the virus seems like a distant risk. It is very hard to get everyone to comply with the shelter at home restrictions.



A large percentage of the people on the beaches are teenagers and college students, many of whom need adult supervision in times like these. 


Harry


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## TravelTime (Mar 20, 2020)

Rolltydr said:


> A large percentage of the people on the beaches are teenagers and college students, many of whom need adult supervision in times like these.
> 
> 
> Harry



So it’s the parents who need to get their sxxx together and get these kids home.


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## Rolltydr (Mar 20, 2020)

Sure. That seems to be working well. Meanwhile, the virus continues to spread exponentially.


Harry


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## Panina (Mar 20, 2020)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> following this suggestion, I tried Costco yesterday afternoon.  Completely sold out.
> 
> I decided to retry this morning, thinking that restocking of supplies might occur overnight.  Bingo!!!!  Supposed to arrive in 2-5 business days.


I tried this morning too, no luck


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Mar 20, 2020)

Rolltydr said:


> A large percentage of the people on the beaches are teenagers and college students, many of whom need adult supervision in times like these.


One important difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.


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## isisdave (Mar 20, 2020)

Just got back from our local Costco senior hour (8-9am, I think daily). Got there about 8:15 and was number 260; no wait to get in. I don't know if there was a limit to the number admitted, but by the time I got out at 8:50 the standard line was long. The staffer near the cart collection point was disinfecting handles. I don't think they were checking ages, and I imagine non-seniors needing accommodation would be admitted.

Everyone was very nice, both employees and shoppers. They had staff near all the heavy stuff to load it into carts for those who needed help. We shoppers have mostly been driving for 50+years, and the level of care with shopping carts and motorized carts was very high -- looking before pulling out, pulling to the side to stop, taking turns at intersections -- the stuff we learned in 1966. People were very organized and not looking much at clothes and hard lines. All the checkouts were open with short lines. Our store has 6 self-check positions, and there was no line for those. They took away the hand scanners, so you have to pick up each item, scan it, put it on the scale (hate those) and then load them all back in the cart at the end.

This was my monthly shop in response to the flyer that comes every 4 or 5 weeks. I didn't find pasta or dry beans but I might have missed them. There was chicken stock but no beef stock. Meat department cooler was very full. There was water and three kinds of Kirkland dog food. Not sure about TP -- I don't recall seeing any in carts. Everything else seemed normal.

On the way home, passed Sam's Club -- line completely around the building.  Also, went past Trader Joe just when they opened at 9, as it was on the way. Maybe 100 people in line. I only need a couple of things there, so I'll try it mid-day next week.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 20, 2020)

Panina said:


> There is a balance between physical and mental health and keeping yourself and others safe.
> 
> This can go on for many weeks and  I realized there are times we will need to go to the stores, out for walks/hikes,etc.
> 
> ...



The other thing is like me and my husband we need to have a sense of accomplishment each day. Simply talking a walk and exercising doesn’t fulfill that need, but we do that also.  

We always liked working on our home. Been doing it since age 21.

Yesterday we got our new mattress, then we got the blinds in plexiglass we ordered and hubby put those up on our doors. Then got the bathroom grab bar from Amazon and he had to go to Lowe’s to get better butterfly things for the wall so he could install it. He is a Mr. Fix it and that is what he likes to do, besides reloading for his sportsman hobby but he can’t go to the range he just paid for and joined because they had to cancel the orientation.

Our house is so small. We are on the internet a lot. The TV is on a lot. We are eating. I take care of business- phone calls and such. I clean every 2 weeks and do laundry. We watch and listen to the construction going on right on top of us. If the weather would get nicer we could sit outside on our new Adirondack rocking chairs hubby put together.

I got a free deck of cards with a vodka purchase! Lol! Time to learn how to play some card games again.


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## VacationForever (Mar 20, 2020)

Story of my grocery order with curbside pickup yesterday.  What a joke.  30 minutes before pickup time, I got a text indicating all the items that were not available.  I had ordered these items 4 days before.  No meat of any kind, no beef stock, no peanut butter.  I called them and cancelled the order.  Fortunately we are stocked up on meat for at least 3 weeks.  Someone recommended ordering meats online and I just did that last night, delivery between March 30th and April 6th.  I will check if we have senior hours at our local Costco, if so we may spend one early morning there.


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## rickandcindy23 (Mar 20, 2020)

Monday, it's a trip to Costco for meat, cheese, other dairy, eggs, and orange juice for Rick.  I also need some cauliflower and salad, maybe some broccoli.  I love my lean (meat) and green (veggies) meals on this journey to health.


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## Panina (Mar 20, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> Story of my grocery order with curbside pickup yesterday.  What a joke.  30 minutes before pickup time, I got a text indicating all the items that were not available.  I had ordered these items 4 days before.  No meat of any kind, no beef stock, no peanut butter.  I called them and cancelled the order.  Fortunately we are stocked up on meat for at least 3 weeks.  Someone recommended ordering meats online and I just did that last night, delivery between March 30th and April 6th.  I will check if we have senior hours at our local Costco, if so we may spend one early morning there.


Lots of shortages at many places.  Food will be available but may not be what we are accustomed to and want.


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## VacationForever (Mar 20, 2020)

Panina said:


> Lots of shortages at many places.  Food will be available but may not be what we are accustomed to and want.


Seriously we have lots of meat in our fridge and freezer but not what I need to go into my recipes.  We have 2 frozen Morton's tri tips, 2 corned beef, 2 marinated racks of lamb, 3 NY strip steaks, 1 ribeye, bison burgers, 1 box beef pot roast, a bag of 6 frozen marinated salmon filets, frozen salmon patties, 3 lbs of chicken breasts, frozen shrimps and fish etc.  Now  I wonder why I need to order more meat but I did order online last night.  Admittedly, I am a hoarder.


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## DancingWaters (Mar 20, 2020)

WinniWoman, please keep posting beautiful pictures like that one!


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## WinniWoman (Mar 20, 2020)

DancingWaters said:


> WinniWoman, please keep posting beautiful pictures like that one!



I’m trying to inject just a little cheer in these dark times.


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## pedro47 (Mar 20, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> I’m trying to inject just a little cheer in these dark times.



I am playing Spades online card game. There are a lot of different card games on this website.


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## TravelTime (Mar 20, 2020)

@WinniWoman Just wondering if you changed your TUG name. I thought you had a different name before. Did you change it? If so, why?


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## bbodb1 (Mar 20, 2020)

What is it about Adirondack chairs that looks so appealing?  
Perhaps I associate them with the north.....


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## Rolltydr (Mar 20, 2020)

Panina said:


> Lots of shortages at many places. Food will be available but may not be what we are accustomed to and want.



We’ve been to our local Publix 2 or 3 times this week. The produce section has been very well stocked every time. The meat section has been almost empty every time. That’s good for us but I’m sure the meat eaters aren’t too pleased.


Harry


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## Sugarcubesea (Mar 20, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> You may want to post the approximate location of where you are and ask if there are any TUGers who live near you may be able to sell you an extra bag that they have.  Just a thought.


I’m in Novi, MI.  If anyone hears of any TP, please let me know

thanks


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## bluehende (Mar 20, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> Seriously we have lots of meat in our fridge and freezer but not what I need to go into my recipes.  We have 2 frozen Morton's tri tips, 2 corned beef, 2 marinated racks of lamb, 3 NY strip steaks, 1 ribeye, bison burgers, 1 box beef pot roast, a bag of 6 frozen marinated salmon filets, frozen salmon patties, 3 lbs of chicken breasts, frozen shrimps and fish etc.  Now  I wonder why I need to order more meat but I did order online last night.  Admittedly, I am a hoarder.


 

Better than a hoarder is a cheap skate.  I probably have 80 to 100 lbs of meat in the freezer.  When it goes on sale I stock up.  The same goes for non perishable goods.  My kids have already been kidding us calling our house the bunker if needed.  My wife is good at organizing the stock pile with a first in first out philosophy.  They no longer laugh at our 35 jars of salsa.  We have not needed to buy any meat since this started.  We loaded up on veggies on tuesday real quick so it may be a long time before we have to venture out.


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## clifffaith (Mar 20, 2020)

OMG, if I never have to set foot in a grocery store ever again I'd be perfectly happy! Three stores yesterday for us and the list Mom gave me on the phone. Six stores today in her town (30 minutes from us) for her written list. The woman can NOT see (cataract surgery scheduled for Monday postponed) and she writes in her small neat handwriting, with one item running up against another, using one of those skinny grocery list tablets Realtors give out. Told her to find a sheet of notebook paper, or at least a steno tablet next time. No paper products beyond some cheap napkins (sorry Mom, no Vanity Fair brand) and 4 boxes of make-your-nose-red cheapo Kleenex. And found her a package of burger, but no other meat. Meat was in abundance in our area yesterday before I knew we were doing a big shopping for her or what more she needed.

But as of now, WE ARE HOME. No more venturing out beyond a walk around the block. Thank goodness last week's epidural was a huge success, and my pain level while walking (not so much while sitting) is so low I was able to move around these last two days, which wasn't at all the case at the beginning of the month.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 20, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> @WinniWoman Just wondering if you changed your TUG name. I thought you had a different name before. Did you change it? If so, why?



Quite awhile ago I changed it per advice of another Tugger since I had always  used my real last name. Mainly  because I posted something about my son and his job and was concerned about privacy for him.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 20, 2020)

clifffaith said:


> OMG, if I never have to set foot in a grocery store ever again I'd be perfectly happy! Three stores yesterday for us and the list Mom gave me on the phone. Six stores today in her town (30 minutes from us) for her written list. The woman can NOT see (cataract surgery scheduled for Monday postponed) and she writes in her small neat handwriting, with one item running up against another, using one of those skinny grocery list tablets Realtors give out. Told her to find a sheet of notebook paper, or at least a steno tablet next time. No paper products beyond some cheap napkins (sorry Mom, no Vanity Fair brand) and 4 boxes of make-your-nose-red cheapo Kleenex. And found her a package of burger, but no other meat. Meat was in abundance in our area yesterday before I knew we were doing a big shopping for her or what more she needed.
> 
> But as of now, WE ARE HOME. No more venturing out beyond a walk around the block. Thank goodness last week's epidural was a huge success, and my pain level while walking (not so much while sitting) is so low I was able to move around these last two days, which wasn't at all the case at the beginning of the month.



Happy to hear you are doing better!


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## TravelTime (Mar 20, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> Quite awhile ago I changed it per advice of another Tugger since I had always  used my real last name. Mainly  because I posted something about my son and his job and was concerned about privacy for him.



I had been off TUG for awhile so I probably missed that change. I recall when I was on TUG, you were moving from New York to New Hampshire, I think. Did that move happen? Your profile indicates your are still in New York.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 20, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> I had been off TUG for awhile so I probably missed that change. I recall when I was on TUG, you were moving from New York to New Hampshire, I think. Did that move happen? Your profile indicates your are still in New York.



You have a good memory. Yes- we closed on the N.H. house on 12/31 and moved here on 2/6. I guess I should take a look at my profile and update it.


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## goaliedave (Mar 21, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am so frustrated, I am being so careful, staying in now. My other half has been out each day. Today to the supermarket just for 4 items which he really didn’t need and just now he went to Lowe’s to get a caulking gun. I can’t get him to understand that unnecessary trips should not be made. I consider myself lucky that his gym closed or he would go there too. Any one having issue like this with their other half?


Show him this pic
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## goaliedave (Mar 21, 2020)

Exponential curves are hard for many people to understand. Within the week talk will turn to death rates instead of infection rates, at which point more people will pay attention. 

In Italy now and in USA a week or 2 from now, death hitting close to home will make people act smarter.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## pedro47 (Mar 21, 2020)

Thanks for that outstanding group photo. I am staying home.


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## Glynda (Mar 21, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> What is it about Adirondack chairs that looks so appealing?
> Perhaps I associate them with the north.....
> 
> View attachment 18124


They remind me of New England too. But I am not comfortable in any chair/sofa that throws me way back into a difficult position to be comfortable in or get out of easily. I'll just look at them with fond memories instead.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 21, 2020)

Glynda said:


> They remind me of New England too. But I am not comfortable in any chair/sofa that throws me way back into a difficult position to be comfortable in or get out of easily. I'll just look at them with fond memories instead.



That is why I got rockers. You can rock forward and get out easier.


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## rapmarks (Mar 21, 2020)

I think it is ironic that the same kids who went out during blizzards are telling me to make sure I stay in.


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## geekette (Mar 21, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> Exponential curves are hard for many people to understand. Within the week talk will turn to death rates instead of infection rates, at which point more people will pay attention.
> 
> In Italy now and in USA a week or 2 from now, death hitting close to home will make people act smarter.


Yes.   Smart too late.  I fear it's going to get extremely ugly.  It already is, our front line health care workers in seriously bad and unthinkable situations.   When homebound sissies like me are called to help the war effort to make basic protection for them, we're in deep caca.  We are not going to be able to prop up sick health care workers but I'll do what I can.  Maybe if me and hundreds of others with Singers keep cranking, we can fill a bucket with a drop from each of us.

They keep showing on local news people still cramming into grocery stores.  I don't get it.  Nobody knows who has it.   Why tempt fate?  Do they still not think this is real?  Are there still so many people In Need of groceries?  I don't think so.  I think in most cases these are not essential trips and there are going to be dire consequences.  

I understand that in most ways, I am not like others, so I'm not finding it difficult to stay home.  My brother had not understood weeks ago when I told him I was aiming for far end of the curve.  He gets it now.  Truck driver, we need him to leave home and move our goods.  I've stayed home because of so many that Can't.  I'm not getting this damned virus, I'm not spreading it.


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## geekette (Mar 21, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> I think it is ironic that the same kids who went out during blizzards are telling me to make sure I stay in.


Yes, but, we are all worried about you!  You've had some kind of creeping crud for a while.  You don't need to layer this nasty stuff on top of it.


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## alwysonvac (Mar 21, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> Show him this pic
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Thanks for sharing  #stayhomeforus





						#stayhomeforus hashtag on Twitter
					

See Tweets about #stayhomeforus on Twitter. See what people are saying and join the conversation.




					twitter.com


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## pedro47 (Mar 21, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> That is why I got rockers. You can rock forward and get out easier.



I liked those rockers. I feel, I will add them to my backyard collection this summer. 
WinniWoman, I went out this morning to pick up my medicine from Costco. I did not make any other stops Lowes was tempting. (LOL).
My final decision about this virus. We are honker in the house for the next two (2) weeks. Both vehicles are fill with gasoline, we are ready with our medication & food supplies.
I just wish everyone to be safe and please protect your family & your self.


----------



## GetawaysRus (Mar 21, 2020)

Just a comment for those going out to pick up medication at pharmacies:  some health plans and pharmacies have a robust mail order refill system.  If so, give them a call. Even for a new prescription, the pharmacy may prefer that you NOT come in now, and they might be willing to mail the medication to you.

I did this earlier this week for a new but non-urgent prescription. It means a several day delay until I receive the medication, but I didn't have to make a trip out of the house.  There was no additional cost.


----------



## Luanne (Mar 21, 2020)

GetawaysRus said:


> Just a comment for those going out to pick up medication at pharmacies:  some health plans and pharmacies have a robust mail order refill system.  If so, give them a call. Even for a new prescription, the pharmacy may prefer that you NOT come in now, and they might be willing to mail the medication to you.
> 
> I did this earlier this week for a new but non-urgent prescription. It means a several day delay until I receive the medication, but I didn't have to make a trip out of the house.  There was no additional cost.


Also check to see if your pharmacy has a delivery service.  Our local CVS does.  But I imagine they may be overwhelmed.  However as of the beginning of the week you could still go in and pick up prescriptions.


----------



## Talent312 (Mar 21, 2020)

I picked up 90-day refills for most meds, just before the big-scare hit.
So, we should be good thru mid-May.

I went to Walmart this morning. So did half the town, it seems.
Some wore masks, some kept their distance, but many did not.
Some things were gone (milk, eggs), but others plentiful (junk food).
.


----------



## chellej (Mar 21, 2020)

Luanne said:


> Also check to see if your pharmacy has a delivery service.  Our local CVS does.  But I imagine they may be overwhelmed.  However as of the beginning of the week you could still go in and pick up prescriptions.




I use CVS and an auto-refill notified me yesterday that it was ready...I didn't want to go to town and still have some left so said to mail it...my USPS delivery notification shows it will be here today...and no additional charge...wish I had done this sooner.


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 21, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> I think it is ironic that the same kids who went out during blizzards are telling me to make sure I stay in.



How are you feeling, I thought I remembered reading that you were not feeling good...Because I have the whole family working from home, my personal computer is being used by my middle son as he needs two screens to action the bazillion calls he gets from work.... I have been super busy at work trying to calm my employees and telling them we are paying they to stay home to keep them safe not to lay them off...

I'm hopeful that this year in December you and I get to meet in person... love and hugs and feel better soon...


----------



## Panina (Mar 21, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> How are you feeling, I thought I remembered reading that you were not feeling good...Because I have the whole family working from home, my personal computer is being used by my middle son as he needs two screens to action the bazillion calls he gets from work.... I have been super busy at work trying to calm my employees and telling them we are paying they to stay home to keep them safe not to lay them off...
> 
> I'm hopeful that this year in December you and I get to meet in person... love and hugs and feel better soon...


What week in December? I might be in Marco Island, close enough to meet Too.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 21, 2020)

My DH went to Petsmart to get food for the dogs. He made a quick stop at Home Depot to pick up a wire for our internet connection, since he needs a better connection to work from home. He was gone for a very short time and practiced good hand hygiene when he got home. We now have enough dog food for a month. We are taking one of our dogs to the vet today because we just realized that her vaccines are overdue. The vet asked us to call from the parking lot when we arrive and they will come out to get our dog. I thought about postponing her vaccines but then they expire.


----------



## Talent312 (Mar 21, 2020)

My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
"I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
.
.


----------



## Panina (Mar 21, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> My DH went to Petsmart to get food for the dogs. He made a quick stop at Home Depot to pick up a wire for our internet connection, since he needs a better connection to work from home. He was gone for a very short time and practiced good hand hygiene when he got home. We now have enough dog food for a month. We are taking one of our dogs to the vet today because we just realized that her vaccines are overdue. The vet asked us to call from the parking lot when we arrive and they will come out to get our dog. I thought about postponing her vaccines but then they expire.


I realized and believe this will go on way longer then 15 days so we need to learn how to be as careful as we can be when we need to venture out.  

I will wear a mask or scarf too and glasses when I go grocery shopping.  I don’t care how they say it doesn’t protect you, logically to me  that doesn’t make sense to me if  I don’t touch it.  Some protection has to be better then none.


----------



## bbodb1 (Mar 21, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
> "I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
> .
> .


In Arkansas, dentist offices have been given direction to avoid non essential procedures at this time as dental work can vaporize saliva.   Should the patient be COVID 19 positive,  the dentist office would be contaminated.


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 21, 2020)

Panina said:


> What week in December? I might be in Marco Island, close enough to meet Too.


That would be most awesome... I will be in Naples from December 12 till the 19... I would love to meet up with you...


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 21, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> The other thing is like me and my husband we need to have a sense of accomplishment each day. Simply talking a walk and exercising doesn’t fulfill that need, but we do that also.
> 
> We always liked working on our home. Been doing it since age 21.
> 
> ...



I love those chairs, where did you get them at?


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 21, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> In Arkansas, dentist offices have been given direction to avoid non essential procedures at this time as dental work can vaporize saliva.   Should the patient be COVID 19 positive,  the dentist office would be contaminated.



In Michigan the Governor put restrictions on having non-essential medical and dental procedures.                                                                                        
The Governor has asked all MI business owners to have employees work from home that can... I have been working from home for a week and a half. The governor has not yet done a lockdown but our numbers in MI keep growing, so I bet if we have a spike she will close us down... Our Economy which is derived from the auto industry is in tatters.


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 21, 2020)

pedro47 said:


> I liked those rockers. I feel, I will add them to my backyard collection this summer.
> WinniWoman, I went out this morning to pick up my medicine from Costco. I did not make any other stops Lowes was tempting. (LOL).
> My final decision about this virus. We are honker in the house for the next two (2) weeks. Both vehicles are fill with gasoline, we are ready with our medication & food supplies.
> I just wish everyone to be safe and please protect your family & your self.



Got the rockers online on Home Depot. Expensive but cheaper than elsewhere, they are polywood- recycled plastic milk jugs.


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 21, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I love those chairs, where did you get them at?



Home  Depot on line. Polywood. Expensive but cheaper than Amazon and a local place. Made of recycled plastic milk jugs. They are solid. 20 year warranty.


----------



## clifffaith (Mar 21, 2020)

geekette said:


> Yes, but, we are all worried about you!  You've had some kind of creeping crud for a while.  You don't need to layer this nasty stuff on top of it.



I thought "creeping crud" was something our family thought up!


----------



## clifffaith (Mar 21, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
> "I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
> .
> .



My cleaning appointment for Tuesday afternoon has been pushed off into June. Cliff (different dentist now that Aetna throws dental money at him) has been confirmed for Monday, but I think only because they blew it last week. He had two deep cleaning quadrants and a crown fitted several weeks ago, and expected to get the other two quadrants done last week when the permanent crown was installed. They apparently forgot that still needed to be done, hence the Monday appt.


----------



## Luanne (Mar 21, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
> "I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
> .
> .


Luckily dh, dd and I all had our regularly scheduled teeth cleaning right before all of this.


----------



## Sandy VDH (Mar 21, 2020)

my dentist called and canceled the appointment before I remembered to call them.


----------



## rapmarks (Mar 21, 2020)

Panina said:


> What week in December? I might be in Marco Island, close enough to meet Too.


Who is hosting the meet and greet?


----------



## Panina (Mar 21, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
> "I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
> .
> .


My sister works in a dental office.  Her boss was keeping the office open.  Two days in a row everyone cancelled their appointments, now the office is closed.


----------



## Panina (Mar 21, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> That would be most awesome... I will be in Naples from December 12 till the 19... I would love to meet up with you...


Yes it will work, hopefully it will happen.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 21, 2020)

Panina said:


> My sister works in a dental office.  Her boss was keeping the office open.  Two days in a row everyone cancelled their appointments, now the office is closed.



How is her boss paying people? Is he laying off?


----------



## Panina (Mar 21, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> How is her boss paying people? Is he laying off?


I don’t know the answer.


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 21, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Who is hosting the meet and greet?


I'm happy to host it at Vanderbilt Beach and Harbor Club...


----------



## Sugarcubesea (Mar 21, 2020)

Panina said:


> Yes it will work, hopefully it will happen.



So excited....This will be a fun meet and greet...


----------



## rickandcindy23 (Mar 21, 2020)

My mother-in-law is bored at home.  I want to have her over to our house for dinner in a few days, but if she is still going to the bank, the store, and the local takeout places at 91 years old, I don't know if I want her in my house.  Rick bought her a couple of bags of groceries yesterday after her hair appointment.  She has a nice home, she loves Hallmark channel, and she loves to read.  She needs to just stay home and wait this out.  I am worried, genuinely worried about her infecting herself and others.


----------



## MrockStar (Mar 21, 2020)

GetawaysRus said:


> I'll admit that I'm even concerned about the mail.  Mail presents a vulnerability to the outside world.
> 
> My wife insists that we spray our mail with Lysol before we open things.  Spray one side, flip it over, then spray the other side, then wait a little while before opening.  Then clean my hands after picking up the mail (we have sanitizing wipes in the garage so that I can clean my hands before coming back inside).  I suppose if the postman has it, the whole neighborhood may get it.
> 
> These are crazy times.


I work at a large postal facility for the USPS, our management/Leadership here says the virus cant survive on the mail and no one here as become sick after 2 to 3 weeks constantly handling mail. YMMV. hope their right.


----------



## MrockStar (Mar 21, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> Dang, I just got an email that my order will not not ship till April...
> 
> Does anyone know grocery stores delivering in a timely manner in the burbs of Detroit?


Theres always grub hub, uber eats, they may deliver groceries.


----------



## MrockStar (Mar 21, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> The other thing is like me and my husband we need to have a sense of accomplishment each day. Simply talking a walk and exercising doesn’t fulfill that need, but we do that also.
> 
> We always liked working on our home. Been doing it since age 21.
> 
> ...


So does the looser at cards have to take a Shot of vodka ? could be a lot of fun


----------



## MrockStar (Mar 21, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> In Michigan the Governor put restrictions on having non-essential medical and dental procedures.
> The Governor has asked all MI business owners to have employees work from home that can... I have been working from home for a week and a half. The governor has not yet done a lockdown but our numbers in MI keep growing, so I bet if we have a spike she will close us down... Our Economy which is derived from the auto industry is in tatters.


Sugarcubesea, Iam in MI and as you know north of Baycity is mostly forest and very small towns with most people spread out in the country. While i could see a lockdown for the Tricounty detroit metro area and possibly baycity and below, i doesnt make much sense/risk for the rest of rural MI IMHO. AL


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## Sugarcubesea (Mar 21, 2020)

MrockStar said:


> Sugarcubesea, Iam in MI and as you know north of Baycity is mostly forest and very small towns with most people spread out in the country. While i could see a lockdown for the Tricounty detroit metro area and possibly baycity and below, i doesnt make much sense/risk for the rest of rural MI IMHO. AL


I so agree.  My folks had a cottage in Charlevoix once you get past Birch Run there is an abundance of land and trees.  

I feel like this virus is the mystery monster that no one can figure out how to contain.  I just worry that after this is contained life will never quite be the same


----------



## mdurette (Mar 22, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
> "I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
> .
> .



Around here the 3 dentists we go to all closed over the last week for anything routine, emergency only visits
My eye doctor also closed (I needed contact lenses and they don't even have a staff person working from home to place orders or send scripts)
My OB GYN also cancelling routine checkups appointments.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 22, 2020)

Luanne said:


> Luckily dh, dd and I all had our regularly scheduled teeth cleaning right before all of this.




Imagine when/if this all over and trying to get an appointment? Even before this is what tough to get appointments with dentists and doctors.


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## WinniWoman (Mar 22, 2020)

mdurette said:


> Around here the 3 dentists we go to all closed over the last week for anything routine, emergency only visits
> My eye doctor also closed (I needed contact lenses and they don't even have a staff person working from home to place orders or send scripts)
> My OB GYN also cancelling routine checkups appointments.




This thing is like the plague. And the thing is most of us will get it anyway once they lift the movement restrictions- IF they ever do. There is no cure or vaccine. And the economy destroyed. Most people lunged into poverty as the market crashes and they lose all their money, businesses and jobs. People will be dying of depression/loneliness/suicide, starvation, and not being able to heat their homes, and other illnesses because they could not see a doctor or dentist. It;s the apocalypse.

This is the cure that is worse than the disease imo.


----------



## Brett (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> This thing is like the plague. And the thing is most of us will get it anyway once they lift the movement restrictions- IF they ever do. There is no cure or vaccine. And the economy destroyed. Most people lunged into poverty as the market crashes and they lose all their money. People will be dying of depression/loneliness/suicide, starvation, and not being able to heat their homes, and other illnesses because they could not see a doctor or dentist. It;s the apocalypse.
> 
> This is the cure that is worse than the disease imo.




I'm thinking that is a very pessimistic worst case scenario
All this social distancing and quarantining may work, albeit painfully


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

Brett said:


> I'm thinking that is a very pessimistic worst case scenario
> All this social distancing and quarantining may work, albeit painfully


Yeah, I can't sign on for doom and gloom.  That could spread faster than the virus.


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 22, 2020)

I really believe if this continues beyond a few weeks forget about a recession we the people and the country will be in a depression- monetary and psychologically.

Did I mention civil unrest? The good people of the world like you and me will mostly abide by the rules. But what about the bad people who have nothing to lose and are desperate? Wait for it!


----------



## Brett (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> I really believe if this continues beyond a few weeks forget about a recession we the people and the country will be in a depression- monetary and psychologically.
> 
> Did I mention civil unrest? The good people of the world like you and me will mostly abide by the rules. But what about the bad people who have nothing to lose and are desperate? Wait for it!



I suppose if one believes this pandemic will result in a major world wide depression with most companies declaring bankruptcy, 50% unemployment and the federal government collapsing then, yes  - the "doomsday preppers"  would be on top and in control.

(I'm not believing in that scenario)


----------



## presley (Mar 22, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
> "I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
> .
> .


Oddly in California, we aren't supposed to go to the dentist unless it's an emergency. The governor said that we could still get our nails done, though. He said even thought it's not exactly 6 feet away from the technician, they usually wear a mask and it was fine to go get nails done.


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> Imagine when/if this all over and trying to get an appointment? Even before this is what tough to get appointments with dentists and doctors.


This must be your market as I have never had difficulty getting appointments, sometimes same day.  Most always, within 2 weeks.


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> I really believe if this continues beyond a few weeks forget about a recession we the people and the country will be in a depression- monetary and psychologically.
> 
> Did I mention civil unrest? The good people of the world like you and me will mostly abide by the rules. But what about the bad people who have nothing to lose and are desperate? Wait for it!


I will wait.   This will go on beyond a few weeks.  Nobody knows what will happen, so I will remain optimistic.  Even if it gets really bad.  I can't tell myself everything is awful, or shortly will be, because it's not good for me.   I am a lemonade maker.


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## bbodb1 (Mar 22, 2020)

geekette said:


> This must be your market as I have never had difficulty getting appointments, sometimes same day.  Most always, within 2 weeks.


In the future, I suspect your experience may be different.  
However, for those who are flexible with their appointment availability and can get to their physician or dentist office on short notice, it may not be as bad.


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## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

People are still saying " if this continues beyond a few weeks"?! Why USA is in trouble.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## silentg (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> Yesterday at Safeway, they still have the self serve operating. I was shocked since buffets have been shut down because everyone touches the serving utensils. I saw people serving themselves at Safeway.


Ironic name for the store Safeway?


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## bbodb1 (Mar 22, 2020)

silentg said:


> Ironic name for the store Safeway?


UnSafeway?


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## DaveNV (Mar 22, 2020)

presley said:


> Oddly in California, we aren't supposed to go to the dentist unless it's an emergency. The governor said that we could still get our nails done, though. He said even thought it's not exactly 6 feet away from the technician, they usually wear a mask and it was fine to go get nails done.



The opposite here in Washington state.  All salons (hair, nails) are closed. Medical offices are open, but on a limited basis, and not for "routine" procedures. My (former employer) hospital and medical centers are closing all non-essential clinics, and are redirecting medical staff and supplies in support of emergent Covid-19 cases and support.  

Dave


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> People are still saying " if this continues beyond a few weeks"?! Why USA is in trouble.
> 
> Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


Based on everything we are told it will be beyond a few weeks and the whole world has troubles, we are not alone.


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## Luanne (Mar 22, 2020)

geekette said:


> This must be your market as I have never had difficulty getting appointments, sometimes same day.  Most always, within 2 weeks.


In our area (Santa Fe) it's also very hard to get an appointment for a teeth cleaning. That and a dermatologist.


----------



## Luanne (Mar 22, 2020)

DaveNW said:


> The opposite here in Washington state.  All salons (hair, nails) are closed. Medical offices are open, but on a limited basis, and not for "routine" procedures. My (former employer) hospital and medical centers are closing all non-essential clinics, and are redirecting medical staff and supplies in support of emergent Covid-19 cases and support.
> 
> Dave


Here nail and hair salons are open.  Spas are closed.  Doctor's offices are open, but they are taking great precautions.  In fact our doctor was quoted in the local paper as they are running out of supplies.  Dh needed to see them for a follow up and he was told the PA would meet him in the parking lot.  They did let him come into the office, but they do have a desk set up outside to screen patients who think they might have COVID-19.

https://www.santafenewmexican.com/n...cle_e53a674c-6a12-11ea-92b2-b330f839e8bb.html


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## easyrider (Mar 22, 2020)

Our Governor in Washington went on air and asked every one to stay at home. Our county has about 20 known cases of c-19 today. One of the large nursing homes has reported a couple of people testing positive for c-19. The percentage of people with c-19 in my area is minuscule, imo. Even so, we are abiding by the Governors request and instead of going out we are staying at home. The administrator at our local hospital went public telling everyone that we have one person in the hospital with c-19, stay at home, they expect many more cases soon and they are only wanting emergencies to come to the hospital at this time. 

I wonder how long I can last without going some where ? 

Bill


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## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> Based on everything we are told it will be beyond a few weeks and the whole world has troubles, we are not alone.


Ok glad you have taken off the "if". For some reason people are still thinking they will travel in spring and summer lol. in USA many posting ignorant of health experts #s , getting their info other places. Stay safe!

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> This thing is like the plague. And the thing is most of us will get it anyway once they lift the movement restrictions- IF they ever do. There is no cure or vaccine. And the economy destroyed. Most people lunged into poverty as the market crashes and they lose all their money, businesses and jobs. People will be dying of depression/loneliness/suicide, starvation, and not being able to heat their homes, and other illnesses because they could not see a doctor or dentist. It;s the apocalypse.
> 
> This is the cure that is worse than the disease imo.


Agree! So do the health experts and the 50% in USA who listen to them.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## bbodb1 (Mar 22, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> Ok glad you have taken off the "if". For some reason people are still thinking they will travel in spring and summer lol. in USA many posting ignorant of health experts #s , getting their info other places. Stay safe!
> 
> Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


@goaliedave We don't have consensus from the health experts at this time either.  I agree the prudent play for now is to eliminate all but essential travel, maintain social distance, etc.  But this situation is still too fluid to know what next week will bring.  We have to be flexible and prepared.


----------



## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> @goaliedave We don't have consensus from the health experts at this time either. I agree the prudent play for now is to eliminate all but essential travel, maintain social distance, etc. But this situation is still too fluid to know what next week will bring. We have to be flexible and prepared.


My point demonstrated. Sadly.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## bbodb1 (Mar 22, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> My point demonstrated. Sadly.
> 
> Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


----------



## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

Talent312 said:


> My dental office seemed offended when I called to cancel. I was tempted to say:
> "I'd rather have some tooth decay than for your dental hygienist to breathe on me."
> .
> .



That's outrageous. Did they not get the memo that they are asking dental offices and non-urgent care to cease work and stop consuming PPE so masks and PPE can be redirected to hospitals to keep health workers healthy?


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> Ok glad you have taken off the "if". For some reason people are still thinking they will travel in spring and summer lol. in USA many posting ignorant of health experts #s , getting their info other places. Stay safe!
> 
> Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk





WinniWoman said:


> This thing is like the plague. And the thing is most of us will get it anyway once they lift the movement restrictions- IF they ever do. There is no cure or vaccine. And the economy destroyed. Most people lunged into poverty as the market crashes and they lose all their money, businesses and jobs. People will be dying of depression/loneliness/suicide, starvation, and not being able to heat their homes, and other illnesses because they could not see a doctor or dentist. It;s the apocalypse.
> 
> This is the cure that is worse than the disease imo.


The world and the US have been through horrors and managed to survive after them.  

It is what it is now, it is not “if“ a vaccine or treatment comes,  it is when.

When this has passed then will will know who was right or wrong.  Right now we can only do the best we can with what we have.

 I have hope and always will as that is how things get done.  Imagine if a scientist said there is no hope and stopped trying to make treatments or a vaccine.  The other scientist had hope and believed he could succeed and kept trying.   Only in time we would know if he was right or wrong but if he stopped trying it definitely would never happen.  To succeed you have to keep trying even if all failed before.  I choose hope.


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## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> The world and the US have been through horrors and managed to survive after them.
> 
> It is what it is now, it is not “if“ a vaccine or treatment comes, it is when.
> 
> ...


The "hope" vs. Science debate is older than Moses. Be safe!

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> The "hope" vs. Science debate is older than Moses. Be safe!
> 
> Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


Science and hope can go together, Hope is what make scientists keep going.


----------



## bbodb1 (Mar 22, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> The "hope" vs. Science debate is older than Moses. Be safe!
> 
> Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


The problem with the science debate is the misuse of science for nefarious purposes.


----------



## IngridN (Mar 22, 2020)

Brett said:


> I suppose if one believes this pandemic will result in a major world wide depression with most companies declaring bankruptcy, 50% unemployment and the federal government collapsing then, yes  - the "doomsday preppers"  would be on top and in control.
> 
> (I'm not believing in that scenario)



I don't either. Maybe I'm naive or haven't been getting the right news, but my understanding of all of these measures is to 'flatten the curve' so that the medical system doesn't get overwhelmed. i don't think the powers that be are expecting that a lot fewer people will get the virus BUT that by spreading out the rate of infections, the medical system will not be overwhelmed. At some point in time a vaccine will be developed. And we'll have a better understanding of how this, and future, viruses behave. Until we get to that point, there will be a lot of pain.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> This thing is like the plague. And the thing is most of us will get it anyway once they lift the movement restrictions- IF they ever do. There is no cure or vaccine. And the economy destroyed. Most people lunged into poverty as the market crashes and they lose all their money, businesses and jobs. People will be dying of depression/loneliness/suicide, starvation, and not being able to heat their homes, and other illnesses because they could not see a doctor or dentist. It;s the apocalypse.
> 
> This is the cure that is worse than the disease imo.



I think things are already pretty bad and will get much worse before it gets better. I do not think accepting reality that things could be very bad means you do not have hope. I am mentally prepared for the worst case scenario while having hope I could be wrong and that things will be better. I do think in a year or two things will pass and be better. But I think it will be a long, slow reccovery. It took many years to recover after the 2008 Great Recession and most experts are now saying this could be worse. This affects everyone in some way, unlike 9/11 or the Great Recession. This is both a health crisis and an economic crisis. I do believe a vaccine will be developed but that will take time. I think the world will look very different after this is over. Hopefully, we will all learn some lessons to handle a future pandemic better.


----------



## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> I think things are already pretty bad and will get much worse before it gets better. I do not think accepting reality that things could be very bad means you do not have hope. I am mentally prepared for the worst case scenario while having hope I could be wrong and that things will be better. I do think in a year or two things will pass and be better. But I think it will be a long, slow reccovery. It took many years to recover after the 2008 Great Recession and most experts are now saying this could be worse. This affects everyone in some way, unlike 9/11 or the Great Recession. This is both a health crisis and an economic crisis. I do believe a vaccine will be developed but that will take time. I think the world will look very different after this is over. Hopefully, we will all learn some lessons to handle a future pandemic better.


Excellent post. If only everyone was thinking years instead of weeks, and forgetting about things returning to "normal".

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

I assume he is over 60?  This article should be a wake-up call. My DH is over 60 and very healthy (skis, exercises, no preexisting conditions, no meds etc.) This is downright scary.









						Israeli doctor in Italy: No. of patients rises but we get to everyone
					

Dr. Gai Peleg told Israeli television that in northern Italy, patients over 60 tend to receive less treatment with anesthesia and artificial respiratory machines.




					www.jpost.com


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

This is a good article that presents a less popular view. Author concludes: Either we let many of us get the coronavirus, recover and get back to work — while doing our utmost to protect those most vulnerable to being killed by it. Or, we shut down for months to try to save everyone everywhere from this virus — no matter their risk profile — and kill many people by other means, kill our economy and maybe kill our future.









						Opinion | A Plan to Get America Back to Work (Published 2020)
					

Some experts say it can be done in weeks, not months — and the economy and public health are at stake.




					www.nytimes.com


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## WinniWoman (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> This is a good article that presents a less popular view. Author concludes: Either we let many of us get the coronavirus, recover and get back to work — while doing our utmost to protect those most vulnerable to being killed by it. Or, we shut down for months to try to save everyone everywhere from this virus — no matter their risk profile — and kill many people by other means, kill our economy and maybe kill our future.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Right on!


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 22, 2020)

IngridN said:


> I don't either. Maybe I'm naive or haven't been getting the right news, but my understanding of all of these measures is to 'flatten the curve' so that the medical system doesn't get overwhelmed. i don't think the powers that be are expecting that a lot fewer people will get the virus BUT that by spreading out the rate of infections, the medical system will not be overwhelmed. At some point in time a vaccine will be developed. And we'll have a better understanding of how this, and future, viruses behave. Until we get to that point, there will be a lot of pain.



Yes. Right. This whole closing down of the world is about not overloading the healthcare system. 

On the other hand a doctor on the news this morning said once you get the virus you will not get it again. Since many of us will eventually get it anyway once they get this so called curve flattened they should open up our economy again before that too gets totally destroyed.


----------



## Luanne (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> Yes. Right. This whole closing down of the world is about not overloading the healthcare system.
> 
> On the other hand a doctor on the news this morning said *once you get the virus you will not get it again.* Since many of us will eventually get it anyway once they get this so called curve flattened they should open up our economy again before that too gets totally destroyed.


How do they know that?  I thought they still didn't know enough about it.


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 22, 2020)

Luanne said:


> How do they know that?  I thought they still didn't know enough about it.




That is what he said. He said "they" are concluding this from current research.


----------



## Chrispee (Mar 22, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> On the other hand a doctor on the news this morning said once you get the virus you will not get it again.



Please provide a link or directly quote your source.  I've seen experts suggest that it's unlikely you can get Covid-19 multiple times but nobody who has said/proven it conclusively.


----------



## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> I assume he is over 60?  This article should be a wake-up call. My DH is over 60 and very healthy (skis, exercises, no preexisting conditions, no meds etc.) This is downright scary.


This is down from age 80 being the cut off.  Not sure how long ago, time is passing in a very strange way.

Yes, we are into death panel territory.  I feel for the front lines health care workers.   Horrible stuff in most every way imaginable.   We are going to need to add a federal holiday for them.


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Luanne said:


> How do they know that?  I thought they still didn't know enough about it.



Anthony Fauci said that he thinks that people will have immunity once they get it. He said they do not know for sure but it is the case with other viruses.


----------



## WinniWoman (Mar 22, 2020)

Chrispee said:


> Please provide a link or directly quote your source.  I've seen experts suggest that it's unlikely you can get Covid-19 multiple times but nobody who has said/proven it conclusively.



I do not have a link. It was a doctor on the news this morning- Dr. Marc Siegel.


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## Luanne (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> Anthony Fauci said that he thinks that people will have immunity once they get it. He said they do not know for sure but it is the case with other viruses.


What I'm thinking is, the virus most likely will mutate.  I think some health professional has already said it would. So would you still have immunity to the mutated version?  Is it like the flu where you need a flu shot every year just to protect from the different strains.


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

Chrispee said:


> Please provide a link or directly quote your source.  I've seen experts suggest that it's unlikely you can get Covid-19 multiple times but nobody who has said/proven it conclusively.


Yes, it's way too soon to have any substantial research on this.  We heard about it in January?   Hard to find someone infected, recovered, and then volunteer to be intentionally exposed in such a short time.


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

Luanne said:


> What I'm thinking is, the virus most likely will mutate.  I think some health professional has already said it would. So would you still have immunity to the mutated version?  Is it like the flu where you need a flu shot every year just to protect from the different strains.


these are good questions.   I think Dr Fauci did say that viruses do mutate, it is expected.  

I would  hope annual innoculation.  Eventually. 

I am not great on biochem but this has all been educational.  Scary, but educational.    Who knew we'd all be taking a crash course this spring?


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## Mongoose (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am so frustrated, I am being so careful, staying in now.  My other half has been out each day.  Today to the supermarket just for 4 items which he really didn’t need and just now he went to Lowe’s to get a caulking gun.  I can’t get him to understand that unnecessary trips should not be made. I consider myself lucky that his gym closed or he would go there too.  Any one having issue like this with their other half?


Everyone handles stress and crisis situations differently.  He may be in denial and refuse to accept that something is outside of his control.  

Thought I would share this:  








						COVID-19: What Is the "Right" Amount of Scared?
					

Psychological research sheds light on fear and motivating preventative action.




					www.psychologytoday.com


----------



## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> This is a good article that presents a less popular view. Author concludes: Either we let many of us get the coronavirus, recover and get back to work — while doing our utmost to protect those most vulnerable to being killed by it. Or, we shut down for months to try to save everyone everywhere from this virus — no matter their risk profile — and kill many people by other means, kill our economy and maybe kill our future.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yup. The New Orleans and Puerto Rico approach, popular among old rich white USA folk.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Mongoose said:


> Everyone handles stress and crisis situations differently.  He may be in denial and refuse to accept that something is outside of his control.
> 
> Thought I would share this:
> 
> ...



The article is interesting but was written before widespread fear and Shelter at Home mandates started. Her conclusion might be different now. She says: “While it’s true there’s no need to panic, that doesn’t mean we should be unconcerned and fail to adopt risk-reduction behaviors. The threat of danger is real enough and the recommended COVID-19 preventative health behaviors are simple and low cost enough that we should adopt them.” Right now, the preventative health behaviors are very expensive in the cost to the economy and people’s livelihood. I wonder what she would say now about whether we have the right amount of scared.


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

Mongoose said:


> Everyone handles stress and crisis situations differently.  He may be in denial and refuse to accept that something is outside of his control.
> 
> Thought I would share this:
> 
> ...


You are correct, he still hasn’t accepted it.

Ultimately I am stuck, there is no where safe for me to go. I tried looking for a detached rental, nothing where I would feel safe is available. He told me you will not tell me what to do. I am sanitizing the house around him but if he get sicks and there are air droplets I am at risk.

Called his brother last night, who told me to ignore him, then told me this is serious you must make him understand, then told me he will talk to him. He is out again, have no idea where he went. He has an off site garage for his cars so thinking there.

In times of crisis some  relationships get stronger, some fall apart.  If this continues mine will be sadly over.


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## VacationForever (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> You are correct, he still hasn’t accepted it.
> 
> Ultimately I am stuck, there is no where safe for me to go. I tried looking for a detached rental, nothing where I would feel safe is available. He told me you will not tell me what to do. I am sanitizing the house around him but if he get sicks and there are air droplets I am at risk.
> 
> ...


Is there timeshare close by that you can book for the next 4 weeks?


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## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

@Panina sorry to hear about your challenges. This is challenging many relationships. Our twenty-something DS who works at a grocery store called us because his significant other is now demanding that he don't show up for work because she has asthma and is worried about becoming exposed.  She is basically telling him to quit his job. He is requesting an LOA. I am worried they will fire him. He doesn't know what to do because he wants to help out, continue to pay bills, and keep his job.


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> You are correct, he still hasn’t accepted it.
> 
> Ultimately I am stuck, there is no where safe for me to go. I tried looking for a detached rental, nothing where I would feel safe is available. He told me you will not tell me what to do. I am sanitizing the house around him but if he get sicks and there are air droplets I am at risk.
> 
> ...



I hope you can work it out. It would be sad to end the relationship over Covid-19. But I understand that this is serious and if he is not taking your needs into account, how that would be hurtful and hard to forgive. How long have you two been together?


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> Is there timeshare close by that you can book for the next 4 weeks?


It is going to be a lot longer then 4 weeks and it really doesn’t reduce my risk, many workers, getting food, etc.


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## VacationForever (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> It is going to be a lot longer then 4 weeks and it really doesn’t reduce my risk, many workers, getting food, etc.


If you move to a timeshare, treat it as though it is a rental.  Get groceries early morning or through Instacart if they deliver, and cook meals at home.  Decline housekeeping.


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> @Panina sorry to hear about your challenges. This is challenging many relationships. Our twenty-something DS who works at a grocery store called us because his significant other is now demanding that he don't show up for work because she has asthma and is worried about becoming exposed.  She is basically telling him to quit his job. He is requesting an LOA. I am worried they will fire him. He doesn't know what to do because he wants to help out, continue to pay bills, and keep his job.


Working I would not stop him.  Just was trying to limit how many times a week as we have a choice. He seems to have no compromise, and doesn’t care what I think, that is my issue.


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## lockewong (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> You are correct, he still hasn’t accepted it.
> 
> Ultimately I am stuck, there is no where safe for me to go. I tried looking for a detached rental, nothing where I would feel safe is available. He told me you will not tell me what to do. I am sanitizing the house around him but if he get sicks and there are air droplets I am at risk.
> 
> ...


Panina.  I am sorry.  This is so hard.  I get stir-crazy, too.  It is the lack of control.  I want to go out and just do something.  Nevertheless, your husband has to  be considerate and you cannot be exposed.  Is there any place you can go to for a week so you will be safe and at least, another week will have passed and his behavior does not make you nuts?  Thinking good thoughts and wished for your health.


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## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

How about the garage or another room?  I heard on the news of an ER doctor that moved into the garage to avoid exposing his young family.  Not great but cost effective. You could self quarantine.
This would send a strong message to him that you are serious.

Alternatively Is there an AirBnB in the area that you can rent by the month?


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> I hope you can work it out. It would be sad to end the relationship over Covid-19. But I understand that this is serious and if he is not taking your needs into account, how that would be hurtful and hard to forgive. How long have you two been together?


I am with him almost 8 years. I was with my husband 24 before he passed away.


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## bluehende (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> You are correct, he still hasn’t accepted it.
> 
> Ultimately I am stuck, there is no where safe for me to go. I tried looking for a detached rental, nothing where I would feel safe is available. He told me you will not tell me what to do. I am sanitizing the house around him but if he get sicks and there are air droplets I am at risk.
> 
> ...


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> If you move to a timeshare, treat it as though it is a rental.  Get groceries early morning or through Instacart if they deliver, and cook meals at home.  Decline housekeeping.


There is risk there too, who was in the room before, who is next door, walking in the hallway to go to store, etc.  There is no easy answer.  And then if they close, where to go next,


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

lockewong said:


> Panina.  I am sorry.  This is so hard.  I get stir-crazy, too.  It is the lack of control.  I want to go out and just do something.  Nevertheless, your husband has to  be considerate and you cannot be exposed.  Is there any place you can go to for a week so you will be safe and at least, another week will have passed and his behavior does not make you nuts?  Thinking good thoughts and wished for your health.


Everywhere I could go where I have family and friends Florida, California, NY and NJ are not options.  Going to hotel, timeshare is risky imo too.  I just am ignoring him, we are not talking, and will keep it as clean as I can. I will go it I could find a detached home to rent but still got to move my stuff.


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> There is risk there too, who was in the room before, who is next door, walking in the hallway to go to store, etc.  There is no easy answer.  And then if they close, where to go next,



Staying home is probably the best choice, even if it is not perfect either. Being away from home during a crisis is very stressful. Not knowing where to get groceries, not having all your own stuff, not sleeping in your bed, etc. Maybe your best bet is to develop quarantine sections at home and limit where your other half can go in the house and stay as far away from him as possible. I think @VacationForever mentioned she develops quarantine zones in the house when she or her DH gets sick and it works.


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

L


CalGalTraveler said:


> How about the garage or another room?  I heard on the news of an ER doctor that moved into the garage to avoid exposing his young family.  Not great but cost effective. You could self quarantine.
> This would send a strong message to him that you are serious.
> 
> Alternatively Is there an AirBnB in the area that you can rent by the month?


We have an open concept home. He goes everywhere except my office which is very small.  He uses the bathroom next to it too.


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> Staying home is probably the best choice, even if it is not perfect either. Being away from home during a crisis is very stressful. Not knowing where to get groceries, not having all your own stuff, not sleeping in your bed, etc. Maybe your best bet is to develop quarantine sections at home and limit where your other half can go in the house and stay as far away from him as possible. I think @VacationForever mentioned she develops quarantine zones in the house when she or her DH gets sick and it works.


Basically staying away from him.  I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen.  I can only stay away from him and wipe anything before touching.  Air Droplets I have no control.  Staying home is the best option right now.


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## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

If you cannot come to agreement to carve out separate spaces and bathrooms, that's disappointing. I would look for an AirBnB or VRBO single family home close by that you could rent by the month. They will be happy to rent to you.


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## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> Basically staying away from him.  I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen.



Wow. Just Wow. Sounds like he is doing this to irritate you. I am sorry to hear you going through this. Hang in there.


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## rapmarks (Mar 22, 2020)

My husband would do the same thing if he could still drive.  This is probably happening everywhere. What will the world be like when this is over.  My husband is losing all socialization, which helps slow the progress of his disease.  I could send him off to,play golf tomorrow, but he would ride shoulder to shoulder with someone who might not have been careful


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> Basically staying away from him.  I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen.  I can only stay away from him and wipe anything before touching.  Air Droplets I have no control.  Staying home is the best option right now.



The least he could do is respect your boundaries about bathrooms. I would lay down the law and tell him to use his in bathroom, that yours is off limits. Maybe you should ask him to rent an AirBnB until this is over if he will not at least try to adhere to some basic safety precautions and home guidelines. But on the positive side, most people will not get Covid-19 and those who do will have no symptoms or mild symptoms. I understand you may have some underlying conditions, though, that might put you at greater risk.

P.S. I just saw a preview of 60 Minutes and they will be reporting on an anti-viral drug tonight.


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## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> Wow. Just Wow. Sounds like he is doing this to irritate you.


Thoughts and prayers  I don't know you obviously, and do not mean this next comment personally at all. As part of Canada's response the govt has funded extra abuse centres and beds as health experts are predicting an increase in spousal abuse from spending so much time together.

I'm currently on my annual winter snowbird timeshare trip. With occupancy at 10% max, plenty of tp, toiletries, etc locations close to outdoor activities , they are awesome places to be.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> The least he could do is respect your boundaries about bathrooms. I would lay down the law and tell him to use his in bathroom, that yours is off limits. Maybe you should ask him to rent an AirBnB until this is over if he will not at least try to adhere to some basic safety precautions and home guidelines. But on the positive side, most people will not get Covid-19 and those who do will have no symptoms or mild symptoms. I understand you may have some underlying conditions, though, that might put you at greater risk.
> 
> P.S. I just saw a preview of 60 Minutes and they will be reporting on an anti-viral drug tonight.


I have tried all the boundaries stuff. He will not leave.  I accepted that this is how it is.  

imo he is much more at risk then me.  I had the flu and was able to recover as well as possible a mild case of the virus now looking back.  He always struggles with respiratory illnesses and has a 24/7 irregular heartbeat.


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## Sugarcubesea (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> Basically staying away from him.  I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen.  I can only stay away from him and wipe anything before touching.  Air Droplets I have no control.  Staying home is the best option right now.


I’m so sorry your going thru this.  With this being a stressful time in and of itself, it’s sad that he will not be considerate of you and your health.  
I’m hoping that things get better


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

goaliedave said:


> Thoughts and prayers  I don't know you obviously, and do not mean this next comment personally at all. As part of Canada's response the govt has funded extra abuse centres and beds as health experts are predicting an increase in spousal abuse from spending so much time together.
> 
> I'm currently on my annual winter snowbird timeshare trip. With occupancy at 10% max, plenty of tp, toiletries, etc locations close to outdoor activities , they are awesome places to be.
> 
> Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


I would say ignored is my problem as he has his head in the sand.


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## VacationForever (Mar 22, 2020)

Can you not tell him which is your designated bathroom and draw the line in the sand that if he does not respect your wish, then he does not respect you and your marriage is in jeopardy?

I am sorry.  I would threaten divorce if my husband disrepects me.


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## alwysonvac (Mar 22, 2020)

I did a google search (using “couples coping covid 19”) and found the following articles, hopefully one of them will help you and anyone else having a difficult time.

*Social Distancing Gone Wrong: Couples in Corona Crisis - *https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...istancing-gone-wrong-couples-in-corona-crisis
*“You Want to Do What?” COVID-19 and Relationship Coping - *https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...want-do-what-covid-19-and-relationship-coping
*Quarantine can test any relationship. A couples therapist explains how to cope - *https://www.vox.com/culture/2020/3/...and-wife-roommate-family-couples-therapy-cope
*Winning an Argument with a Difficult Intimate Partner - *https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...7/winning-argument-difficult-intimate-partner
*How to handle coronavirus tension with relationships and roommates  - *https://nypost.com/2020/03/18/how-to-handle-coronavirus-tension-with-relationships-and-roommates/
*Quarreling during quarantine: How to keep the peace with your partner - *https://www.usatoday.com/story/life...ionships-healthy-fights-solutions/5074960002/
*How to stay married through coronavirus - *https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-21/how-to-stay-married-through-coronavirus/12073778


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## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I would say ignored is my problem as he has his head in the sand.


We're all with you on this 

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

alwysonvac said:


> I did a google search (using “couples coping covid 19”) and found the following articles, hopefully one of them will help you and anyone else having a difficult time.
> 
> *Social Distancing Gone Wrong: Couples in Corona Crisis - *https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...istancing-gone-wrong-couples-in-corona-crisis
> *“You Want to Do What?” COVID-19 and Relationship Coping - *https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...want-do-what-covid-19-and-relationship-coping
> ...


So much to read, maybe it will help


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

I am lucky. My DH and I are not quarreling. We do not fight all that much. We had a brief argument over why he convinced me to move forward with the house purchase given the coronavirus crisis when I wanted to back out. Now we are backing out but all contingencies have already been lifted so we are losing a high 5 figure deposit. We are hoping the seller will split the deposit with us since half the deposit would probably cover his expenses for at least 6 months until he can sell it. My agent said he is getting legal counsel so I suspect he will not agree. I was blaming my DH for this last night and he reminded me why we made the decision and he said it is not worth ruining our marriage over. I agreed and we stopped arguing.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Mar 22, 2020)

Just caught this video:


__ https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1241803403619172359


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## Mongoose (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina, I know this is not much comfort, however if you are in good health, get your rest and keep your immune system strong, in the event you contract SARS-CoV2 the odds are with you that it will be mild.  People most at risk are smokers, persons with compromised immune systems and those with chronic circulatory and respiratory diseases.  Be Safe.


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Mongoose said:


> Panina, I know this is not much comfort, however if you are in good health, get your rest and keep your immune system strong, in the event you contract SARS-CoV2 the odds are with you that it will be mild.  People most at risk are smokers, persons with compromised immune systems and those with chronic circulatory and respiratory diseases.  Be Safe.



And remember the percentage of people in China who have died from covid-19 is 0.00%. It is such a small percentage that it does not register.


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## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> And remember the percentage of people in China who have died from covid-19 is 0.00%. It is such a small percentage that it does not register.


Are you using the total China population as the denominator? or the Wuhan quarantine population as the basis? The latter would be more realistic since they walled off the quarantine area so other regions would not have been fully exposed to the virus.


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## JanT (Mar 22, 2020)

I've tried not to comment on this again but this post makes me so angry for you.  Please forgive me for saying this but your husband is being a passive-aggressive ass.  I don't know why, but he is.  He is putting not only his own health at risk but yours, as well.  In addition, he is putting everyone else's health at risk that he comes into contact with. Why?  Just to prove that you can't tell him what to do?  You're a lot nicer than I am obviously because I would have packed a bag for him and pushed him out the door.  I won't say the rest of what's on my mind but I will tell you I am praying for you and hope that you will stay safe and well.  God bless you, Panina.  I wish there was some way I could help.



Panina said:


> Basically staying away from him.  I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen.  I can only stay away from him and wipe anything before touching.  Air Droplets I have no control.  Staying home is the best option right now.


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> Are you using the total China population? or the Wuhan quarantine population as the basis? The latter would be more realistic since they walled off the quarantine area so other regions would not have been exposed to the virus.



Total population since that is how countries are measuring this. There were 2100 deaths in Wuhan (pop = 11 million) out of the total of 3200 in China. The death rate in Wuhan is 0.02% based on population. So if we use this percentage to extrapolate for the USA, we will have up to 70,000 deaths but probably much less since we also have cases concentrated in epicenters so it would be incorrect to multiply by the total US population. I suspect in the end that Covid-19 will be like a bad flu in its death rate. 









						Wuhan coronavirus death rate far lower than thought, with 1.4 percent mortality from COVID-19
					

News comes as the city announces no new cases for the first time in over two months.




					www.newsweek.com


----------



## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

Thank you for all your support.  Just having you all to vent to helps.  I don’t feel alone. I know I cannot be the only one, just the one who is  exposing myself.  I never give up hope.  I am taking care of myself now with sleep, eating well and exercising.


----------



## Mongoose (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> And remember the percentage of people in China who have died from covid-19 is 0.00%. It is such a small percentage that it does not register.


First of all you can't believe what China is saying.  Their lies, denials and coverups created this mess.  Second, we need to keep it in perspective, unless you have a chronic illness this is likely to be mild if you get it.  It is deadly to people in high risk categoriges and they should take precautions.  The bigest threat now is the impact it will have on social order.


----------



## Mongoose (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> Thank you for all your support.  Just having you all to vent to helps.  I don’t feel alone. I know I cannot be the only one, just the one who is  exposing myself.  I never give up hope.  I am taking care of myself now with sleep, eating well and exercising.   ❤


When this is over, find somebody that deserves you.  You certainly deserve better.


----------



## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

Door locks.


JanT said:


> I've tried not to comment on this again but this post makes me so angry for you.  Please forgive me for saying this but your husband is being a passive-aggressive ass.  I don't know why, but he is.  He is putting not only his own health at risk but yours, as well.  In addition, he is putting everyone else's health at risk that he comes into contact with. Why?  Just to prove that you can't tell him what to do?  You're a lot nicer than I am obviously because I would have packed a bag for him and pushed him out the door.  I won't say the rest of what's on my mind but I will tell you I am praying for you and hope that you will stay safe and well.  God bless you, Panina.  I wish there was some way I could help.


I would also have changed the locks.  

Someone that enjoys your being scared out of your mind doesn't deserve to come back in.


----------



## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

Mongoose said:


> First of all you can't believe what China is saying.  Their lies, denials and coverups created this mess.  Second, we need to keep it in perspective, unless you have a chronic illness this is likely to be mild if you get it.  It is deadly to people in high risk categoriges and they should take precautions.  The bigest threat now is the impact it will have on social order.


.
The poster's perspective is from being HIGH RISK.   Why do you think she is frightened??  I'm sure she appreciates your adding the word deadly.  That's as helpful as her husband, refusing to take precautions.

The biggest threat Is Not impact on social order. It's DEATH.  Do you for sure know which set of stats you will land in?   None of us do.


----------



## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

geekette said:


> Door locks.
> 
> I would also have changed the locks.
> 
> Someone that enjoys your being scared out of your mind doesn't deserve to come back in.


If it was that easy.  One could break into their home or call the police easily to get back in.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> If it was that easy.  One could break into their home or call the police easily to get back in.



It sounds like you love him and have been with him for a long time. Tell us about his good qualities that keep you with him and help you to tolerate this behavior right now.


----------



## goaliedave (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> Thank you for all your support. Just having you all to vent to helps. I don’t feel alone. I know I cannot be the only one, just the one who is exposing myself. I never give up hope. I am taking care of myself now with sleep, eating well and exercising.


It takes strength and guts to be 1st to be vulnerable. One hand raised speaks for dozens. 

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


----------



## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

geekette said:


> .
> The poster's perspective is from being HIGH RISK.   Why do you think she is frightened??  I'm sure she appreciates your adding the word deadly.  That's as helpful as her husband, refusing to take precautions.
> 
> The biggest threat Is Not impact on social order. It's DEATH.  Do you for sure know which set of stats you will land in?   None of us do.


I am not sure if I am truly at risk more then the average.  My autoimmune is celiac, not sure if that falls into risk group, we are not being told. My other half has  more risk, 24/7 irregular heart beat plus struggles for weeks and usually gets bronchitis when he gets an respiratory illness.  I know my immune system was able to fight the flu  in January.  In February I came home sick from Florida, now thinking it might have been mild coronavirus.

Whereas I know 24 hours lockdown for weeks and months is not possible I believe everyone should minimize risk thus the problem with my other half.


----------



## geist1223 (Mar 22, 2020)

A marriage is not tested in the good times. It is tested in the bad harsh times. This is when you truly see the other person. Do I feel cramped not being able to go where I want when I want - yes. But I also love and worry about Patti. So we both stay primarily at home and only go out once a week for grocery shopping. I like to wander around Cabela's, Sportsman Warehouse, Lowe, and Home Depot. Am I doing that now - no. Patti is also not going out to wander around her favorite stores. We actually enjoy being around each other and do not need others. We can simply be in the same room reading with Felix and the cats curled up with us.


----------



## VacationForever (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am not sure if I am truly at risk more then the average.  My autoimmune is celiac, not sure if that falls into risk group, we are not being told. My other half has  more risk, 24/7 irregular heart beat plus struggles for weeks and usually gets bronchitis when he gets an respiratory illness.  I know my immune system was able to fight the flu  in January.  In February I came home sick from Florida, now thinking it might have been mild coronavirus.
> 
> Whereas I know 24 hours lockdown for weeks and months is not possible I believe everyone should minimize risk thus the problem with my other half.


I hope he has good disability and life insurance.


----------



## Talent312 (Mar 22, 2020)

Even if the death rate turns out to be 0.0% (rounded)...
If you're one of the few inside that percent, you're just as dead.
So, check your life insurance to see if you named the right bene.
.


----------



## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> It sounds like you love him and have been with him for a long time. Tell us about his good qualities that keep you with him and help you to tolerate this behavior right now.


Thank you for asking. It is not about tolerating his behavior. My choices right now are not better. 

He has some wonderful qualities.  It just seems this whole virus made him flip.

Just the other day he said after this is over your mom needs to be with us.  Let her keep her coop but she can move in with us or we can get her a place of her own near by. If you knew my mom you would know how kind this is.  

He always respectful of my deceased husbands memory.  

He is generous. If I left, I am certain he would help me pay my bills

He has never tried to control me or limit me in what I want to do.  He encourages me to do the things that make me happy.    He completely trusts me.  That is why his behavior now is so out of line.

He is funny, always has made me laugh, just not now.

Overall in the past we both saw  life in a similar manner making things easy


----------



## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

geist1223 said:


> A marriage is not tested in the good times. It is tested in the bad harsh times. This is when you truly see the other person. Do I feel cramped not being able to go where I want when I want - yes. But I also love and worry about Patti. So we both stay primarily at home and only go out once a week for grocery shopping. I like to wander around Cabela's, Sportsman Warehouse, Lowe, and Home Depot. Am I doing that now - no. Patti is also not going out to wander around her favorite stores. We actually enjoy being around each other and do not need others. We can simply be in the same room reading with Felix and the cats curled up with us.


Patti is a lucky woman to have you.


----------



## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> Thank you for asking. It is not about tolerating his behavior. My choices right now are not better.
> 
> He has some wonderful qualities.  It just seems this whole virus made him flip.
> 
> ...



I knew there were good reasons as to why you are with him. Hopefully things will work out.


----------



## Fredflintstone (Mar 22, 2020)

You know...in times like this, there is nothing better than home. From working and travelling, I never really appreciated my home as much as I do now.

It’s funny how we take the simplistic things for granted but sure learn to appreciate them in times like these.

Yes....

Home Sweet Home 

And yes, I too appreciate the people around me more too.  


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## bluehende (Mar 22, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> I hope he has good disability and life insurance.


  Here is a little humor inserted into a humorless situation.  Buy a large life insurance policy or print out a fake and hand it to him with his keys and tell him to have fun.


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## JanT (Mar 22, 2020)

Thank you, Geekette for saying what I didn't want to say.



geekette said:


> Door locks.
> 
> I would also have changed the locks.
> 
> Someone that enjoys your being scared out of your mind doesn't deserve to come back in.


----------



## bluehende (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am not sure if I am truly at risk more then the average.  My autoimmune is celiac, not sure if that falls into risk group, we are not being told. My other half has  more risk, 24/7 irregular heart beat plus struggles for weeks and usually gets bronchitis when he gets an respiratory illness.  I know my immune system was able to fight the flu  in January.  In February I came home sick from Florida, now thinking it might have been mild coronavirus.
> 
> Whereas I know 24 hours lockdown for weeks and   months is not possible I believe everyone should minimize risk thus the problem with my other half.


  Unfortunately no one knows exactly what is an aggravating risk.  I do not think it is a matter of not being told.  There will be a lot of research after this has reached some kind of end or baseline to more define risk factors.    While not completely predictory you could look up if there was any correlation for other sars like outbreaks.


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

So when he got back, he definitely stopped at the grocery.  This is what he purchased

A double package of italian bread,
A case of water (we have 5 already and  a water refrigerator filter system)
3 packages of crescents to bake and
4 bunches of banana.  He doesn’t eat bananas, I do. He has gone bananas.


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## Brett (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am so frustrated, I am being so careful, staying in now.  My other half has been out each day.  Today to the supermarket just for 4 items which he really didn’t need and just now he went to Lowe’s to get a caulking gun.  I can’t get him to understand that unnecessary trips should not be made. I consider myself lucky that his gym closed or he would go there too.  Any one having issue like this with their other half?



I would have to say, no issues in my relationship and going to stores.    This weekend I've been to Lowe's, tractor supply (bird seed), Kroger and CVS drug store with my "other half" and there has been no problems.
Today we walked around a park (3 miles) and I photographed some nesting bald eagles and blue birds.
Pretty much everything has been the same as before the pandemic ..... except the restaurants are closed and we enjoy eating out on weekends - bummer


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

Brett said:


> I would have to say, no issues in my relationship and going to stores.    This weekend I've been to Lowe's, tractor supply (bird seed), Kroger and CVS drug store with my "other half" and there has been no problems.
> Today we walked around a park (3 miles) and I photographed some nesting bald eagles and blue birds.
> Pretty much everything has been the same as before the pandemic ..... except the restaurants are closed and we enjoy eating out on weekends - bummer


I guess your thoughts are more along his and I am trying to understand them.  

I have friends who are terrified, others that go out to the stores saying this will go on a long time we need to keep living.


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## Brett (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I guess your thoughts are more along his and I am trying to understand them.




yes, probably so.
I will say my wife is a former (now non-practicing) nurse and self described germ-a-phobe but she has no problems going to stores during this pandemic.   She (and I) wipe our hands with purell after we get back in the car.


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## VacationForever (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> So when he got back, he definitely stopped at the grocery.  This is what he purchased
> 
> A double package of italian bread,
> A case of water (we have 5 already and  a water refrigerator filter system)
> ...


He has serious mental health issues.


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> So when he got back, he definitely stopped at the grocery.  This is what he purchased
> 
> A double package of italian bread,
> A case of water (we have 5 already and  a water refrigerator filter system)
> ...





VacationForever said:


> He has serious mental health issues.



Stress.  Compensating for being powerless by Doing Something.  He thinks he is doing something For Us, maybe even For Her.  Could be scared out of his mind that it will fell him, not her, and deciding to put himself out there for the bullet, not quite getting that it comes back in with him.   Is he generally protective?  Not over-protective, just I'm The Man kind of protective?   If so, seems like that is ratcheted up.  

We will all be a bit more bonkers as this drags on.  And it will drag on.  

I am no shrink, just a long time student observer of human behavior. 

I've been self-isolating for long enough that there is no way I would throw that away now.  I am aiming for far end of curve, have been since mid Feb.  I thought once we knew that asymptomatic people could pass it that people would indeed stay home.  Not the first thing I've been wrong about, will not be the last.  

I scared my mom into staying home - said even a minor fender bender could send her to the hospital, a bad place to be right now.   Of course, she is of the age where her sight isn't so great, thinks, oh, it's just up the road....    and hadn't thought about a wee little accident being the beginning of her end.   Also said that she could be ticketed for being out (we could be, tho it is highly unlikely), appealling to her cheap side.   I'm scared I'll lose her in this because she is another "can't stay home" person.   We need Spring, big time, for her to go out and play in her garden.   I need it, too.  

I wonder if the basketball folks among us are doing their own March Madness?


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> So when he got back, he definitely stopped at the grocery.  This is what he purchased
> 
> A double package of italian bread,
> A case of water (we have 5 already and  a water refrigerator filter system)
> ...



4 bunches of bananas? How many bananas do you eat per day? LOL


----------



## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

Another thought....I posted my experience twofold, to get support from my tugger friends and to put out there this issue for the silent ones holding it in.

By your responses I know how much you all care and you all mean well.

What I do feel we are all missing, including myself, is there is either a very different persepective that he has as many others do or he himself is in a mental crisis.

If it is the latter he is not alone.  There are many having coping problems now in all aspects and it will only become more prevalent as this continue.

I don’t know the answer yet how to balance what I deem being safe and how he is not coping with that. What I do know is we have to realize many have issues and try to find compassion.

The fact he brought home 4 bunches of bananas shows he us trying to take care of me in his mind.

No easy solutions


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

geekette said:


> Stress.  Compensating for being powerless by Doing Something.  He thinks he is doing something For Us, maybe even For Her.  Could be scared out of his mind that it will fell him, not her, and deciding to put himself out there for the bullet, not quite getting that it comes back in with him.   Is he generally protective?  Not over-protective, just I'm The Man kind of protective?   If so, seems like that is ratcheted up.
> 
> We will all be a bit more bonkers as this drags on.  And it will drag on.
> 
> ...


I think you are closer to the answer.  Even with the answer my situation is the same.


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## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> 4 bunches of bananas? How many bananas do you eat per day? LOL


I eat two small ones or one large one a day.  Before he got these I still have 10 bananas.  He got them at different colors of ripeness.  I will be freezing lots of ripe bananas soon.  Time to take my Yonana out, I haven’t used it in awhile.


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

I found out yesterday that a close friend has prostate cancer. He found out 2 weeks ago but kept it private. His wife told me yesterday and that he is in denial. He claims he will call the doctor tomorrow to schedule surgery. He says prostate cancer is slow growing and all men get it. He is minimizing. My DH looked it up and 1 in 8 men get it (Not all men). I can’t imagine having cancer now. That is doubly scary. Needing to go to the hospital to get surgery while this is going on is scary as the risk of getting sick could be higher. I am not the type to panic about health issues and I have been very calm about the risk of getting covid-19. Seeing how others have it tough during these times makes me appreciate what we have more. We are home. We are healthy. We still have enough savings to get through this. The problems I have right now are nothing compared to what others are going through.


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I eat two small ones or one large one a day.  Before he got these I still have 10 bananas.  He got them at different colors of ripeness.  I will be freezing lots of ripe bananas soon.  Time to take my Yonana out, I haven’t used it in awhile.



Ha, ha. I suspected you could not eat that many bananas so quickly before they got overly ripe. Yes, the 4 bunches of bananas show he cares.


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

Panina said:


> I eat two small ones or one large one a day.  Before he got these I still have 10 bananas.  He got them at different colors of ripeness.  I will be freezing lots of ripe bananas soon.  Time to take my Yonana out, I haven’t used it in awhile.


Get your fresh baked banana bread at Panina's!


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## geekette (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> The problems I have right now are nothing compared to what others are going through.


Yes.  Even on my worst days, I have always considered myself to be a very lucky person.  

Lately, I have been very grateful for the selfless healthcare workers.  I'm more scared for them than I am for me.   I will have 50 masks done tomorrow.  In my small way, I'm helping the war effort, and staying out of the way of the battles.  With a Sharpie, I wrote Thank You on them.  On some fabric I really liked, it said Made With Love.


----------



## CalGalTraveler (Mar 22, 2020)

It sounds like he is trying to cope. Who knows? Perhaps he knows he is at risk and this only highlights his medical issues so going to the store is his way of connecting with what's going on and he doesn't want to live his life in fear? People are doing strange things to cope right now. Who would have thought bottled water would be in short supply?


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## TravelTime (Mar 22, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> It sounds like he is trying to cope. Who knows? Perhaps he knows he is at risk and this only highlights his medical issues so going to the store is his way of connecting with what's going on and he doesn't want to live his life in fear? People are doing strange things to cope right now. Who would have thought bottled water would be in short supply?



Who would have thought that a pandemic would cause a run in toilet paper! Yes, people are not rational beings. Probably his way of coping.


----------



## Panina (Mar 22, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> I found out yesterday that a close friend has prostate cancer. He found out 2 weeks ago but kept it private. His wife told me yesterday and that he is in denial. He claims he will call the doctor tomorrow to schedule surgery. He says prostate cancer is slow growing and all men get it. He is minimizing. My DH looked it up and 1 in 8 men get it (Not all men). I can’t imagine having cancer now. That is doubly scary. Needing to go to the hospital to get surgery while this is going on is scary as the risk of getting sick could be higher. I am not the type to panic about health issues and I have been very calm about the risk of getting covid-19. Seeing how others have it tough during these times makes me appreciate what we have more. We are home. We are healthy. We still have enough savings to get through this. The problems I have right now are nothing compared to what others are going through.


Prostrate Cancer has a good survival rate.  My deceased husband had it and removed it successfully.  Before he passed from a brain aneurysm he was given a clean bill of health from the cancer.

Just keep contact often  with your friend, that will be great support.  Many just stay away because they do not know what to say or do.


----------



## geist1223 (Mar 23, 2020)

Perhaps if he does not change his life style then in his mind there is no crisis. Then he does not have to worry about losing you or about dying. If he talks to you about it and his feelings then he has to acknowledge there is a crisis and that he could lose you.


----------



## b2bailey (Mar 23, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> I assume he is over 60?  This article should be a wake-up call. My DH is over 60 and very healthy (skis, exercises, no preexisting conditions, no meds etc.) This is downright scary.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I wouldn't have been surprised if it said she 80 -- but this was shocking.


----------



## b2bailey (Mar 23, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> This is a good article that presents a less popular view. Author concludes: Either we let many of us get the coronavirus, recover and get back to work — while doing our utmost to protect those most vulnerable to being killed by it. Or, we shut down for months to try to save everyone everywhere from this virus — no matter their risk profile — and kill many people by other means, kill our economy and maybe kill our future.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Haven't read article yet, but have to say I agree with premise stated above. (Now ducking head to avoid being hit by flying objects.)


----------



## b2bailey (Mar 23, 2020)

geekette said:


> Yes, it's way too soon to have any substantial research on this.  We heard about it in January?   Hard to find someone infected, recovered, and then volunteer to be intentionally exposed in such a short time.


I don't think anyone is going to volunteer to catch it again.


----------



## b2bailey (Mar 23, 2020)

CalGalTraveler said:


> @Panina sorry to hear about your challenges. This is challenging many relationships. Our twenty-something DS who works at a grocery store called us because his significant other is now demanding that he don't show up for work because she has asthma and is worried about becoming exposed.  She is basically telling him to quit his job. He is requesting an LOA. I am worried they will fire him. He doesn't know what to do because he wants to help out, continue to pay bills, and keep his job.


Curious about the girl's plan on how bills will get paid? Does DS live close enough to stay with you? Can she stay elsewhere?


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## b2bailey (Mar 23, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> The least he could do is respect your boundaries about bathrooms. I would lay down the law and tell him to use his in bathroom, that yours is off limits. Maybe you should ask him to rent an AirBnB until this is over if he will not at least try to adhere to some basic safety precautions and home guidelines. But on the positive side, most people will not get Covid-19 and those who do will have no symptoms or mild symptoms. I understand you may have some underlying conditions, though, that might put you at greater risk.
> 
> P.S. I just saw a preview of 60 Minutes and they will be reporting on an anti-viral drug tonight.


I'm sorry that you are having the additional stress of this. It must be heart-breaking for you.


----------



## b2bailey (Mar 23, 2020)

Panina said:


> If it was that easy.  One could break into their home or call the police easily to get back in.


I know it is difficult for people who are in a relationship with love and mutual respect to relate to yours.


----------



## b2bailey (Mar 23, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> 4 bunches of bananas? How many bananas do you eat per day? LOL


On another note, he was thinking of you when he bought the banana s.


----------



## chellej (Mar 23, 2020)

So I have the opposite problem with my spouse.  He doesn't want me to go out and doesn't  want our son to come over. 

  So I look at it differently.  There is risk but by following the guidelines hand washing ,staying 6 feet away, not touching face etc  my risk of catching it is low.  The media invites panic and there is no reason to panic.  Unfortunately, some people will get sick and some won t recover.    The point of the social distancing is to slow it down, it will not eliminate it.   Many of those that die, may well of died it they got the flu  instead.   


I find it stressful to watch the news and so try to limit it.  Things that make good headlines often push the limit of truth and also seem to increase the panic. I saw an npr story and the headline made it sound like the food chain was in jepardy.....but when you the whole article that wasn't the case at all.

You say you were very sick and  he didn't catch it.....maybe his  immune system is better than you think.   

in any case. I wish you well


----------



## pedro47 (Mar 23, 2020)

Panina, chill as the young folk would say. The man Loves and Cares about you. 
Men are from Mars or Venus, we just Think Differently and React Strange .


----------



## Talent312 (Mar 23, 2020)

Two ideas:
1. Dump the lug and kick him to the curb; or
2. "For better or for worse," but not for lunch.
.


----------



## caribbeanqueen (Mar 23, 2020)

Panina I hate seeing you so worried!
My husband goes to the hardware store frequently as both our businesses are closed so he is using the time to fix things, deep cleaning, etc. I have to go shopping. We keep our distances and wash our hands frequently. I have Lysol wipes and wipe down all door handles and cabinet handles. I do not go crazy though. It sounds like this has you paralyzed with fear which is horrible for your immune system and a terrible way for you live.
I wrote in another thread, I am pretty sure both my husband and I had Covid19 in January after coming off a Princess Cruise. My daughter and her family have/had it now. While yes, you are sick, it does not feel any different than the flu. Some do not even get symptoms (like Rand Paul).  Please do not allow this to cause you such anxiety and stress. Italy has a majority of elderly people AND they smoke!  They have stated 90+% had other issues.  I wish you well and hope you can relax a bit and enjoy life as best you can during this pandemic.


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## Mongoose (Mar 23, 2020)

geekette said:


> .
> The poster's perspective is from being HIGH RISK.   Why do you think she is frightened??  I'm sure she appreciates your adding the word deadly.  That's as helpful as her husband, refusing to take precautions.
> 
> The biggest threat Is Not impact on social order. It's DEATH.  Do you for sure know which set of stats you will land in?   None of us do.


Just trying to provide accurate information.  No rose colored glasses, no doomsday predicaitons.


----------



## SandyPGravel (Mar 23, 2020)

My co-worker sounds like your husband.  He is very upset the restaurants closed, because "he eats out twice a week."  I asked him this morning if he was going to sign up to vote absentee for our upcoming primary.  He said "no, because there aren't that many people there when he votes."  He doesn't get it.  You will be exposed to everyone that voted before you and you are exposing everyone that votes after you and the poll workers.  We are still working so that means we are exposed to a lot of people every day.  (Approx 900 in our facility over all shifts.)

We were given a letter on Friday stating we are essential employees in case our state goes on lock down.  He said "that will never happen here."  Well, a couple hours later Illinois announced a lock down(one state away, our corporate headquarters is located there)  Minnesota is considering it.  If our surrounding states go on lock down I don't see how we won't.

I completely understand your frustration.


----------



## presley (Mar 23, 2020)

Panina said:


> My autoimmune is celiac, not sure if that falls into risk group, we are not being told


This is one of the bigger concerns of mine. They haven't said that celiac is higher risk, but my concern is for those, my husband in particular, who have dietary restrictions that can't be taken care of in an overcrowded hospital situation or being isolated somewhere that isn't home. Thank God, we were't traveling and didn't have to go into a 14 day quarantine, but from what I've read, you get what you get. He can't have gluten or nightshades. What are the 2 most common cheap things to throw in food to make them more substantial - gluten and nightshades. If he gets in a position where that's all he can eat, his intestines will kill him faster than covid19 would.


----------



## goaliedave (Mar 23, 2020)

Panina said:


> Another thought....I posted my experience twofold, to get support from my tugger friends and to put out there this issue for the silent ones holding it in.
> 
> By your responses I know how much you all care and you all mean well.
> 
> ...


Build on that glimmer of hope. Even strong self-reliant men need reassurance. Tell him what you wrote here, that you know he is trying to look after you in his own way, thank him, tell him you need a couple more things to feel safe... if he's ever going to talk now is the time.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## pedro47 (Mar 23, 2020)

Panina, this a suggestion from an old man. Please stop worrying. You could be causing your body/mind to have some health problems.
Chill, pick up a golf club and a place a golf ball on your massive lawn and Just hit that golf ball as far as you can to relieve your daily stress.
Put a face on the golf ball.


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## pedro47 (Mar 23, 2020)

Another suggestion can you build a raise bed to plant some flower or vegetables???
 You can even ask your DH to take you to Lowes to select the lumber, the soil and the plants.


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## bbodb1 (Mar 23, 2020)

pedro47 said:


> Panina, this a suggestion from an old man. Please stop worrying. You could be causing your body/mind to have some health problems.
> Chill, pick up a golf club and a place a golf ball on your massive lawn and Just hit that golf ball as far as you can to relieve your daily stress.



Wait, wait, wait a second here.....did you just really suggest hitting golf balls to _*reduce *_stress?


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## bbodb1 (Mar 23, 2020)

@Panina - here is my stress relief suggestion!


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## MrockStar (Mar 23, 2020)

Sugarcubesea said:


> I so agree.  My folks had a cottage in Charlevoix once you get past Birch Run there is an abundance of land and trees.
> 
> I feel like this virus is the mystery monster that no one can figure out how to contain.  I just worry that after this is contained life will never quite be the same


Right its going to be different for sure.


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## Brett (Mar 23, 2020)

pedro47 said:


> Another suggestion can you build a raise bed to plant some flower or vegetables???
> You can even ask your DH to take you to Lowes to select the lumber, the soil and the plants.




that's what I did -   tomato plants at Lowe's


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## Panina (Mar 23, 2020)

So I have a very wise great friend who is a tugger too that reached out to me privately.

She is very insightful about my situation and she has been a friend for awhile.  This did not only have to do with the virus it had to do with the move too.  He never wanted to move.  Being in a new place and limitations has gotten to him.  He seeks having control of anything in my opinion.

We spoke  today.  He is unhappy.  It took him awhile to understand why I am so upset.  He doesn't even remember what he said.  He sees the risk as longer term then short term.  Doesn’t see us going to the NJ shore home this summer. He even questions if we will go to Florida November, December.  

He sees limitations until there is a vaccine or a medicine that works for the masses when they get sick.  He is very aware of what is going on.  He still says we need to go out at times for walks, food and hardware to get things to do for sanity.  Big change when he goes out is how and where he puts mail, washes up, take clothes off, etc.  He still thinks I am overdoing but will do it.

The reason he got so many bananas is because shelves were empty.  He was actually looking for milk, meat, chicken, etc and no store had the items he wanted.  He said all the dairy, meats, paper good and frozen food aisles were empty.  He finally found the items today early this morning after going to 4 groceries.  He had to go into N.C. to find them,   He purchased quite a bit saying this way we will have for the week or more and I don’t have to go again.

Is this a perfect resolution no but at least we are communicating.  I have my issues and he has his.  

Thank you everyone for you perspectives on the situation.  Many of you made me think how I am reacting too.


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## Sugarcubesea (Mar 24, 2020)

Panina said:


> Thank you for all your support.  Just having you all to vent to helps.  I don’t feel alone. I know I cannot be the only one, just the one who is  exposing myself.  I never give up hope.  I am taking care of myself now with sleep, eating well and exercising.



You are such a kind hearted person... I think venting really helps because it gets it out of your system and does not allow those pent up feelings to implode. Take good care of yourself.

Now more then ever I really appreciate all of the amazing folks on TUG...


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## rapmarks (Mar 24, 2020)

I wondered if the move had something to do with the situation


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## Glynda (Mar 24, 2020)

We can't spend that money some are so worried about if we are dead!  What have we become when Americans are so spoiled and selfish that they can't even weather this for the preservation of life?  Imagine if you were living in Italy!  Sheesh! 

The wait is to decrease the spread. The wait is to allow finding treatments and a vaccine. The wait is so as not to sacrifice human life. I'm ashamed of some of the posts I've read over three message boards on TUG recently and it's better to just stay away from negative vibes.


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## Rolltydr (Mar 24, 2020)

Glynda said:


> We can't spend that money some are so worried about if we are dead! What have we become when Americans are so spoiled and selfish that they can't even weather this for the preservation of life? Imagine if you were living in Italy! Sheesh!
> 
> The wait is to decrease the spread. The wait is to allow finding treatments and a vaccine. The wait is so as not to sacrifice human life. I'm ashamed of some of the posts I've read over three message boards on TUG recently and it's better to just stay away from negative vibes.



Awfully hard for dead people to run businesses and companies, too. It’ll be interesting to see how good the economy will do in that situation.


Harry


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## elaine (Mar 24, 2020)

Panina, it can be very depressing and overwhelming to think long term right now. And, truly, no one knows. Maybe get him (and all of us) to think in small chunks--we're all doing Draconian measures trying to flatten the curve for another week--and likely the week after that. Then we'll re-evaluate. Part of that (IMHO) will be to see how the US healthcare is doing and how many people "got thru it and are OK" and what the mortality rate is with many more tested and are there any therapeutic drug protocols that help.
For us, We've nixed heading to our NC beach home for now. DH is going stir crazy and 100 bags of mulch are rotting in NC. But he knows we have to flatten the curve and going to NC doesn't help it. But, going to NC in later May with social distancing is not off the table yet, nor is early July trip.  Maybe it will be, but not yet.

And thanks to all on TUG who listen to our worries, vents, and sometimes rants and give well-grounded advice. It's such a nice place to connect. Maybe we need to rename TUG to "TTITG" "talking thru it together group?" Elaine


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## Panina (Mar 24, 2020)

elaine said:


> Panina, it can be very depressing and overwhelming to think long term right now. And, truly, no one knows. Maybe get him (and all of us) to think in small chunks--we're all doing Draconian measures trying to flatten the curve for another week--and likely the week after that. Then we'll re-evaluate. Part of that (IMHO) will be to see how the US healthcare is doing and how many people "got thru it and are OK" and what the mortality rate is with many more tested and are there any therapeutic drug protocols that help.
> For us, We've nixed heading to our NC beach home for now. DH is going stir crazy and 100 bags of mulch are rotting in NC. But he knows we have to flatten the curve and going to NC doesn't help it. But, going to NC in later May with social distancing is not off the table yet, nor is early July trip.  Maybe it will be, but not yet.
> 
> And thanks to all on TUG who listen to our worries, vents, and sometimes rants and give well-grounded advice. It's such a nice place to connect. Maybe we need to rename TUG to "TTITG" "talking thru it together group?" Elaine


He is definitely thinking long term, I am thinking in short spurts.   He is definitely a person that always had difficulty staying in.  He went out every day for coffee and lunch.  He liked going to hardware and car  stores also everyday.  

This morning I told him he was grumpy, he said this virus is making me be and it won’t change anytime soon.  I told him, it is happening to me too.  He said I know.   Definitely some depression and lack of coping.

Even after all the safety talks when getting the mail he did it all wrong and he got upset when I tried to tell him. I just am being diligent in cleaning up the surfaces that I feel are compromised.

He thinks he is doing it right now, it is better but far from perfect.


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## elaine (Mar 24, 2020)

we don't do anything with mail. we look at it and then throw it away or file and wash hands. Experts say risk is likely millions of time lower than other contact. We do take amazon stuff out of box and then leave in room for 5 days. We also rebag groceries into "safe" bags in garage and then wash hands. We do not wipe down all boxes, but I did spray packaged meat, as others might have picked up and put back down and I think C-19 lasts longer on plastic than cardboard boxes.


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## geekette (Mar 24, 2020)

No special mail handling here, either.  I expect the risk to be very very low that my mail carrier is not only infected, but somehow is spilling body fluids on my mail, and that somehow I get the mail while that is still brewing, transfer it to myself.  It is long habit to wash  my hands after handling paper so it's not much of a difference for me.  I pretty much never wipe mail on my face or lick it so I deem my risk to be very very low. 

I'm not terribly concerned about surface contact, and mail is the only new thing entering my house.   I am 4 rolls from disaster, and my 24 store is not 24 hrs anymore so will likely brave a 9 pm crowd within the next week or so.  I am through my frozen and powdered milk, out of yeast for bread, and frozen dough almost used up.   I could hoof it to the organic dairy for milk, but, yikes, the price.   I have not seen the need to wipe down groceries but haven't brought any home in March.   I don't actually think that a sneeze 3 weeks ago on a crate of canned goods puts me in any danger.

I almost always repack meat, anyway, because it is just me, and more needs to be frozen than left in fridge.


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## easyrider (Mar 24, 2020)

The odds of death due to corvid 19 are very small. Something like 1 in 3,000,000. Your odds of winning the lottery are better. Even if you lived in Wuhan your odds of dying from corvid 19 is 1 in 500,000.

In the USA you currently have a 1 in 55,000 chance of catching corvid 19.

The odds are 1 in 5000 you die from the flu. The odds of dying from cancer or heart disease is 1 out of 7. What is really interesting is the chance of getting hit by lightning is 1 in 200,000 and the chance of dying from corvid 19 is 1 in 3,000,000. 

Really, the odds of survival are very good regarding c 19. The reaction to this outbreak, seems to me anyway, over the top and irrational. 

That being said I will abide by what is asked to contain this. 

Bill


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## bbodb1 (Mar 24, 2020)

@Panina - I wanted to share some thoughts on moving since you've somewhat touched on that throughout your posts.  I believe you are considering the effect of moving (both directly and indirectly) throughout this thread.  I'll submit that moves are very complicated and have effects in the very long term on relationships.  

Having said that, despite the fact that someone agrees to a move it certainly does not assure there will not be issues (perhaps resentment?) over what is being left behind.  I know you are aware of this, and perhaps he even said he would be okay with moving but the question that comes to mind is what did he leave behind?  What might he be missing?  

I note this because our last move was made for the benefit of my wife (as her side of the family had some major health issues).  I agreed to this move, but I wasn't happy about it.  To this day, I still wish we had not made this move, but I do assuage the feeling of loss by focusing on the fact we ended up in a better (safer) place economically than we were.  We've been able to withstand the economic downturn around 2008 and a job loss via layoff much better where we are now than had we not moved.  I guess all of this is to say I've tried to look at the silver lining in the cloud (so to speak) but if was tough - especially in the first few months.  Perhaps time will heal this wound in your husband, but perhaps you might identify if something moving related is at the heart of his discontent and try to address it as best you can.  Just an idea for your consideration.


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## Panina (Mar 24, 2020)

bbodb1 said:


> @Panina - I wanted to share some thoughts on moving since you've somewhat touched on that throughout your posts.  I believe you are considering the effect of moving (both directly and indirectly) throughout this thread.  I'll submit that moves are very complicated and have effects in the very long term on relationships.
> 
> Having said that, despite the fact that someone agrees to a move it certainly does not assure there will not be issues (perhaps resentment?) over what is being left behind.  I know you are aware of this, and perhaps he even said he would be okay with moving but the question that comes to mind is what did he leave behind?  What might he be missing?
> 
> I note this because our last move was made for the benefit of my wife (as her side of the family had some major health issues).  I agreed to this move, but I wasn't happy about it.  To this day, I still wish we had not made this move, but I do assuage the feeling of loss by focusing on the fact we ended up in a better (safer) place economically than we were.  We've been able to withstand the economic downturn around 2008 and a job loss via layoff much better where we are now than had we not moved.  I guess all of this is to say I've tried to look at the silver lining in the cloud (so to speak) but if was tough - especially in the first few months.  Perhaps time will heal this wound in your husband, but perhaps you might identify if something moving related is at the heart of his discontent and try to address it as best you can.  Just an idea for your consideration.


Definitely has to with the move.  This virus situation have surfaced the anger he feels as he has mentioned during this crisis he misses the other place and wish we didn’t move.  

We are still in the same township just 10 minutes from where we use to live so it is hard for me to comprehend the problem.  It probably comes down to he felt he had no choice.  We did almost part because of the move.

Unfortunately all the benefits of moving to a 50+ community cannot be experienced by him as everything is shut down following the mandates of the governor and township.  So he really cannot live the difference.  The virus isolation just makes the situation worse for him.

My concern is now for his mental well being. His anger and depression is real. He is sleeping more and eating less. 

Once again he went to the grocery today. There is almost no more space in our refrigerator/freezer and separate freezer.  I guess that is what he can control. 

I am still experiencing him getting frustrated, angry at times at me everyday because I try to get him to practice safe practices when he gets home.

He did  use the sanitizer towelettes I gave him even using one to get in the door but still will not do everything needed once he enters.


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## geekette (Mar 24, 2020)

I'm divorced, no master of human relationships.

But, I'd stop saying anything about safe practices.  He's not receptive and could grow quite resentful of your "telling him what to do".   Do what you need to do to stay safe, and if it is coming along behind him to sanitize, do it without comment or loud sighing or any of that.  Best to do it out of his vision or notice.  Don't vocalize criticisms or instructions any longer.  he knows, he heard you.  Does he not think it's necessary, thinking you are over-reacting?  Does he simply not care what happens to him and only taking minor effort towards your peace of mind?  Doesn't sound like he is intentionally riling you.  

It sounds like your guy is just trying to get through this.  It might be easier for both of you if you just let him be.  Protect yourself.  If he gets sick, suppress any desire to say "I told you so".

Best of all, plan something fun for the both of you to take your minds off all of this.  I have no idea what that might be, but we used to take long drives to go see other parts of the state that are simply different from ours.  maybe you pack picnic things and pick up some take out and find a lovely park shelter to enjoy nature and enjoy a meal better than normal picnic fare.  Be creative, do something Different.  

good luck!


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## am1 (Mar 24, 2020)

Panina said:


> So I have a very wise great friend who is a tugger too that reached out to me privately.
> 
> She is very insightful about my situation and she has been a friend for awhile.  This did not only have to do with the virus it had to do with the move too.  He never wanted to move.  Being in a new place and limitations has gotten to him.  He seeks having control of anything in my opinion.
> 
> ...




Buying excess is why the shelves are bare.


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## Panina (Mar 24, 2020)

geekette said:


> I'm divorced, no master of human relationships.
> 
> But, I'd stop saying anything about safe practices.  He's not receptive and could grow quite resentful of your "telling him what to do".   Do what you need to do to stay safe, and if it is coming along behind him to sanitize, do it without comment or loud sighing or any of that.  Best to do it out of his vision or notice.  Don't vocalize criticisms or instructions any longer.  he knows, he heard you.  Does he not think it's necessary, thinking you are over-reacting?  Does he simply not care what happens to him and only taking minor effort towards your peace of mind?  Doesn't sound like he is intentionally riling you.
> 
> ...


Good words of wisdom which I will follow.  It definitely will be easier on  me. Thank you.


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## VacationForever (Mar 24, 2020)

I am sorry to read that the move was not truly a joint decision.  Well, neither was ours.  I would have stayed in California as my son is there.  My husband wanted nothing to do with California.  Fortunately for us, we do have better quality of life than where we were in California.  I am also fortunate that I can now see that by our moving away, it enables my son to gain independence and actually cares about things - his house, his bills etc.  So while I was not totally bought into moving, I can see the positives in the move.  If my husband goes before I do, then I will move back to California if I cannot convince my son to move here.


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## Panina (Mar 24, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> I am sorry to read that the move was not truly a joint decision.  Well, neither was ours.  I would have stayed in California as my son is there.  My husband wanted nothing to do with California.  Fortunately for us, we do have better quality of life than where we were in California.  I am also fortunate that I can now see that by our moving away, it enables my son to gain independence and actually cares about things - his house, his bills etc.  So while I was not totally bought into moving, I can see the positives in the move.  If my husband goes before I do, then I will move back to California if I cannot convince my son to move here.


Since I met my other half all my decisions were made for his daughter. I have always put the needs of my step daughter and other half first.

I left  my home, my friends and moved to a state I knew no one for them.  No regrets as I truly believe I was put in his life for the sake of his daughter.  She is now a beautiful young lady at 21 that has emerged from the angry little girl who I first met.  Her mom used her as pawn/weapon against her father.  Being a neutral source she learned to trust me and has told me if it wasn’t for you I would never be where I am.

Maybe I was selfish with the move but I gave everything I had to give to him and his daughter for years and it was and is my time. I have wants and needs too. And he didn’t move across the country like I did. It is just 10 minutes from where we lived.

This had nothing to do with love, sometimes it is not enough.  I needed more.  He will either adjust or move on which I know can happen.


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## bbodb1 (Mar 24, 2020)

Panina said:


> Good words of wisdom which I will follow.  It definitely will be easier on  me. Thank you.


That park I recently asked you about sure looks nice!


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## b2bailey (Mar 24, 2020)

H





Panina said:


> Since I met my other half all my decisions were made for his daughter. I have always put the needs of my step daughter and other half first.
> 
> I left  my home, my friends and moved to a state I knew no one for them.  No regrets as I truly believe I was put in his life for the sake of his daughter.  She is now a beautiful young lady at 21 that has emerged from the angry little girl who I first met.  Her mom used her as pawn/weapon against her father.  Being a neutral source she learned to trust me and has told me if it wasn’t for you I would never be where I am.
> 
> ...


Mention of your step-daughter reminds me of my step-son. When I married his father, Jordan (age 14) lived with his mother on a Caribbean island. I was told he would come for summer and holidays. 2 summers later, it was time for school to start. Jordan was with us in California and his mother was nowhere to be found. (She later showed up at the in-laws house.) Fast forward to 2014 when Jordan at age 27 is giving his Father's eulogy. The words he shared about his years with us made any and all difficultyes of the past disappear. I knew for sure it had to be 50% of the reason his dad and I were meant to be together.


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## rapmarks (Mar 25, 2020)

I went to Lowe’s today to get batteries for my chirping smoke detector and was shocked at how busy they are


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## Panina (Mar 25, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> I went to Lowe’s today to get batteries for my chirping smoke detector and was shocked at how busy they are


Doesn’t surprise me, one of the few places to go plus many are buying things to do projects.  They should do what groceries are doing, limiting how many can enter at a time.  I know our Lowe’s still have regular hours, whereas Home Depot is closing at 6pm.


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## b2bailey (Mar 25, 2020)

Panina said:


> Doesn’t surprise me, one of the few places to go plus many are buying things to do projects.  They should do what groceries are doing, limiting how many can enter at a time.  I know our Lowe’s still have regular hours, whereas Home Depot is closing at 6pm.


It would be interesting to know if those two stores saw higher than usual sales for March.


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## Panina (Mar 26, 2020)

So I let go and stopped nagging as it wasn’t working.  Today he did not go to any store.  He did go to get the mail.  I went in the shower.  When I got out, the mail and packages were where I asked them to be put.  I asked is there anything I need to wipe down?  He said I washed my hands,  you can wipe down the front door.  

We watched The Hustle today, funny, and I didn’t watch the news until this evening.  I got real upset tonight seeing how bad things are getting and reading one of our tugger family might have it and the wife of another didn’t feel well.

I went up to my other half’s man cave and was in tears.  He said there is not much we can do but to stay in unless we have to go out.  He finally got it.


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## isisdave (Mar 26, 2020)

My son works at a Lowe's in Indiana, in Seasonal and Inside Garden. He says that everything having to do with gardening (spring is beginning there) and outdoor live is flying out the door. He sold 13 riding lawnmowers the other day.

And paint sales are very brisk.


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## goaliedave (Mar 26, 2020)

Panina said:


> Doesn’t surprise me, one of the few places to go plus many are buying things to do projects. They should do what groceries are doing, limiting how many can enter at a time. I know our Lowe’s still have regular hours, whereas Home Depot is closing at 6pm.


Yikes are stores near you guys enforcing distancing? We have inside markings at cashes, in aisles everyone is waiting and keeping 6 feet, outside we have security letting in only when someone leaves and lineups 6 feet apart. Why no physical dustancing in stores?
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk


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## pedro47 (Mar 26, 2020)

Please stay in if you can. Wishing you guys some tranquility time.


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## Panina (Mar 28, 2020)

As I continue to internally struggle as my other half goes to a store, it is less often and he is finally getting it, understanding the severity.  

This is what he said last night... your mom shouldn’t be in NY now, she should come here.  I said how would she get here?  I can drive up to get her he said.    My mother doesn’t like him and he knows but still he cares.

Asked mom she said no.


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## rapmarks (Mar 28, 2020)

My husband is getting very antsy, complaining because we are not doing anything. Went to Culver’s for a drive through sundae but can’t think of anything else.  It is 95 here this weekend.  I like to try to walk in the evening.  He says he can only walk real slow and not far, but won’t let me go by myself.


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## Talent312 (Mar 28, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> My husband is getting very antsy, complaining because we are not doing anything. Went to Culver’s for a drive through sundae but can’t think of anything else...



Arby's milkshakes are pretty good.
Another option is a picnic. Many local parks are still open.
.

.


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## pedro47 (Mar 28, 2020)

Today we had our First Zoom luncheon in front of our desktop computers and tablets at home.  We talked about everything from no NCAA & NBA Basketball games, no Major League Baseball games on television and including that Coronavirus subject. There were no sit down big meals or drinks and there  were no big smiles, hand shakes or hugs. .  We were more than six (6) feets apart.

Footnote, we do not discuss any  politics. That is the one subject that have been and will always be offlimit during our private luncheon. 

We were finish with our Zoom luncheon in less than 45 minutes.  We normally take two (2) hours or more for lunch.
We all stated at the end: we missed the live fellowship and our time to eat and relax together.. 

We normally get together once per month at a difference restaurant in Newport News, Hampton or in Williamsburg, VA.


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## lockewong (Mar 28, 2020)

Panina said:


> As I continue to internally struggle as my other half goes to a store, it is less often and he is finally getting it, understanding the severity.
> 
> This is what he said last night... your mom shouldn’t be in NY now, she should come here.  I said how would she get here?  I can drive up to get her he said.    My mother doesn’t like him and he knows but still he cares.
> 
> Asked mom she said no.


Reading through this, your DH loves you and does care.  He is going through repressed emotions about the move and now, this pandemic, makes him scared.  My husband also accedes to my wishes.  But, when he does speak, I listen.  He does crazy stuff in my view but he has a good heart.  I believe, and I truly believe, you gave everything for your Step-daughter's well-being and you husband's needs.  You did sacrifice.  She is stable and mentally and emotionally well because of you.  I believe he knows what you have done; consequently, despite the difference, as he wants the best for your mother... despite any complications; so he put his misgivings aside and offered to help your mother, since it troubles you so.  I. also believe that because your DH and you have given sooo much and understand each others' sacrifices, it will be okay.  He is coping and you are coping.  It may on its face sound disrespectful that he goes out to "shop" but I really, really, *believe both of you care for each other and that* makes all the difference.  IMHO.


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## Panina (Apr 12, 2020)

It’s two weeks since my last post on this topic  so I thought I would post an update.

Who am I living with? It is not the same person a month ago or even two weeks ago.

As I said prior, I let go.  I began following what my core believes in, the serenity prayer...
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
courage to change the things I can, 
and wisdom to know the difference.

The only thing I could change was me.  I went about doing what I needed for me.  Within time he adjusted, calmed down, didn’t run to stores.  Not sure why he changed.   He is smiling now, kind and  thoughtful.

When I first wrote this I questioned if our relationship would survive this, now I think maybe this whole crisis saved our relationship.  Time will tell as we all have a long road to travel.


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## elaine (Apr 12, 2020)

Panina, that is great! And I'm so happy that we were here to support each other ! We're all in it together. Who even cares about timeshares anymore!
Elaine


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## Panina (Apr 12, 2020)

elaine said:


> Panina, that is great! And I'm so happy that we were here to support each other ! We're all in it together. Who even cares about timeshares anymore!
> Elaine


Tug has always been so much more then Timeshares.  It is even more evident now.  The friendships that evolve are gifts and the support many of us give each other is priceless.


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## R.J.C. (Apr 12, 2020)

Panina said:


> I am so frustrated, I am being so careful, staying in now.  My other half has been out each day.  Today to the supermarket just for 4 items which he really didn’t need and just now he went to Lowe’s to get a caulking gun.  I can’t get him to understand that unnecessary trips should not be made. I consider myself lucky that his gym closed or he would go there too.  Any one having issue like this with their other half?



If you can't handle your other half living his life as he sees fit then maybe you need a different half. He should not have to give up his freedom because you are scared.


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## Panina (Apr 12, 2020)

R.J.C. said:


> If you can't handle your other half living his life as he sees fit then maybe you need a different half. He should not have to give up his freedom because you are scared.


A relationship is 50/50.  Compassion, caring and compromise by both in a relationship is what makes it endure. Those who think that always  living their life the way they want, not taking their loved ones into consideration,  are the ones that shouldn’t be in a relationship.  They should stay single.

Your view that I asked him to give up his freedom is not what this was about.  It was about following guidelines that were established by our township to keep safe.


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## R.J.C. (Apr 13, 2020)

Panina said:


> A relationship is 50/50.  Compassion, caring and compromise by both in a relationship is what makes it endure. Those who think that always  living their life the way they want, not taking their loved ones into consideration,  are the ones that shouldn’t be in a relationship.  They should stay single.
> 
> Your view that I asked him to give up his freedom is not what this was about.  It was about following guidelines that were established by our township to keep safe.



Correct. 50/50, not 100/0. Asking him to somewhat change his ways and in return you won't nag him when he does go out is 50/50. Saying "Are you stupid? Why are you going out?! Stop it!!" is not compromise.

Been married almost 32 years so I understand the difference.


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## R.J.C. (Apr 13, 2020)

IMO, it's obvious y'all have never put your life on the line to defend the freedoms we have otherwise you wouldn't be so quick to relinquish those freedoms to the government, especially when anyone who wants to stay inside and away from others can easily do so. Those of us who wish to go outside are only walking around others of the same mindset which doesn't affect any of y'all in the slightest.


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## CalGalTraveler (Apr 13, 2020)

@Panina Glad this worked out for you.


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## Panina (Apr 13, 2020)

R.J.C. said:


> Correct. 50/50, not 100/0. Asking him to somewhat change his ways and in return you won't nag him when he does go out is 50/50. Saying "Are you stupid? Why are you going out?! Stop it!!" is not compromise.
> 
> Been married almost 32 years so I understand the difference.


Assumptions are not facts.

I was with my deceased husband total 27 years, a few months short 25 years married, with current going on 9 years so don’t lecture me on the difference.

Nor do I need a lecture on freedom as both of my men served in the military many years, 32 years combined.   Plus my whole family  freedoms were taken away from them in the worse way possible due to the holocaust. And let me not forget my dad fighting in the underground for his freedom and others.  He saved many.

If you can’t help yourself keep going but I an done.   Said what I had to.


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## ilene13 (Apr 13, 2020)

My other half is a physician so he's going to work.  He wears scrubs instead of street clothes and throws them into the washing machine as soon as he gets home.  We are both on the same page with everything else.  We only go out when absolutely necessary and then with masks and gloves!!


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## pedro47 (Apr 13, 2020)

TravelTime said:


> Yesterday at Safeway, they still have the self serve operating. I was shocked since buffets have been shut down because everyone touches the serving utensils. I saw people serving themselves at Safeway.


I have not seen a buffet in a supermarket open since this coronavirus started In Virginia.. Someone needs to report this Safeway store to their local health department or their state Department of Health .ASAP.


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## rickandcindy23 (Apr 13, 2020)

Really, a buffet type salad bar at a local store should be left unused.  Spoiled food would make for a change on the store's part.  

I hope our local restaurants all survive.  I am concerned for all small businesses.  The grocery stores are doing huge business, and people are hoarding food.  I was shocked that our local stores are out of ranch dressing, the Litehouse brand I buy.  So I made my own today for my salad later.


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## Panina (Apr 13, 2020)

ilene13 said:


> My other half is a physician so he's going to work.  He wears scrubs instead of street clothes and throws them into the washing machine as soon as he gets home.  We are both on the same page with everything else.  We only go out when absolutely necessary and then with masks and gloves!!


Your other half is a soldier on the frontline, keeping us healthy.  All physicians are, no matter in what capacity they are working in.  

No words can completely  express my gratitude to your other half and all the physicians and their families for all they are doing now.


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## Brett (Apr 13, 2020)

pedro47 said:


> I have not seen a buffet in a supermarket open since this coronavirus started In Virginia.. Someone needs to report this Safeway store to their local health department or their state Department of Health .ASAP.



that post was from March 17,  the buffet lines have been closed in Va. (and probably other states) for some time


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## pedro47 (Apr 13, 2020)

Please forget me Panina, but sometimes you sound just liked my other half. My Commander of  Chief. LOL.
The Love of my Life.

I enjoy been busy and I also, enjoy going to Lowe’s and Home Depot regularly and I liked having a cup of coffee with a biscuit at our various  local fast food restaurants

However, I am standing home and inside..I have not travel to Lowe’s or Home Depot in 72 hours. I am only going out of the house to pick up our mail and the newspaper from my brick mailbox and newspaper holder.

I am praying for your spouse.


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## MrockStar (Apr 13, 2020)

isisdave said:


> My son works at a Lowe's in Indiana, in Seasonal and Inside Garden. He says that everything having to do with gardening (spring is beginning there) and outdoor live is flying out the door. He sold 13 riding lawnmowers the other day.
> 
> And paint sales are very brisk.


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## MrockStar (Apr 13, 2020)

Great i wonder how far the closest lowe's Indianna is to MI so i can plant my garden there ??


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## rapmarks (Apr 13, 2020)

Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.


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## VacationForever (Apr 13, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.


You have to remind yourself that he has dementia and treat his question as a new question every time.  I am sorry, a family caregiver has the hardest job in the world.


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## Panina (Apr 13, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.


My dad was the same way. It can get frustrating.  Maybe you can write it down and have him read it each morning or record it and you can play it each day.


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## bluehende (Apr 13, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.


  Sending you a thousand digital hugs to use as needed.  I know how unbelievably  hard this situation can be under ordinary stress levels.


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## Panina (Apr 13, 2020)

Now this is almost unbelievable coming from my other half.  I heard him lecturing his daughter on the phone tonight on how she needs to stay out of stores as much as possible and must use all precautions when she goes.  

He told her a story about a woman who self quarantined for weeks, prior going to drug store once, and once a friend left groceries at her door.  She now has the virus as does the friend who delivered the groceries. His point was how easily it spreads.


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## VacationForever (Apr 13, 2020)

Panina said:


> Now this is almost unbelievable coming from my other half.  I heard him lecturing his daughter on the phone tonight on how she needs to stay out of stores as much as possible and must use all precautions when she goes.
> 
> He told her a story about a woman who self quarantined for weeks, prior going to drug store once, and once a friend left groceries at her door.  She now has the virus as does the friend who delivered the groceries. His point was how easily it spreads.


Wonderful that he gets it and now he is telling others to be safe.


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## wackymother (Apr 14, 2020)

Panina said:


> Now this is almost unbelievable coming from my other half.  I heard him lecturing his daughter on the phone tonight on how she needs to stay out of stores as much as possible and must use all precautions when she goes.
> 
> He told her a story about a woman who self quarantined for weeks, prior going to drug store once, and once a friend left groceries at her door.  She now has the virus as does the friend who delivered the groceries. His point was how easily it spreads.




Wait, really? Where did this happen, the story about the woman with the groceries? Bc I haven't heard about anything definitely being transferred from groceries or deliveries.


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## queenofthehive (Apr 14, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.


Everyone should be able to vent.  It helps during difficult times.


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## rapmarks (Apr 14, 2020)

queenofthehive said:


> Everyone should be able to vent.  It helps during difficult times.


Yes, thank you, it felt good to vent


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## Panina (Apr 14, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Yes, thank you, it felt good to vent


Always here for you.


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## Panina (Apr 14, 2020)

wackymother said:


> Wait, really? Where did this happen, the story about the woman with the groceries? Bc I haven't heard about anything definitely being transferred from groceries or deliveries.


Who really knows.  The facts are only as good as the person telling them.  Here is the article he referenced.









						North Carolina woman gets coronavirus despite staying home for three weeks
					

A North Carolina coronavirus patient said she was infected despite staying home for the three weeks leading up to her diagnosis last Thursday, a report said. “This is the sickest I’ve ever been and…




					nypost.com


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## Sugarcubesea (Apr 14, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.



I can only imagine how frustrating you must feel and be right now as the sole caregiver for your hubby with no one to really help you... I hope that you can maybe try and take a break for even a few minutes and that might give you the strength to tell him again what I know you have already told him many times previously... Your always in my thoughts and prayers....


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## VacationForever (Apr 14, 2020)

deleted


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## WinniWoman (Apr 14, 2020)

No, You Don't Need To Disinfect Your Groceries. But Here's How To Shop Safely
					

Coronavirus got you nervous about grocery shopping? We talked to scientists for their advice about how to stay safe at the store — and when handling food back home.




					www.npr.org


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## WinniWoman (Apr 14, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.




Prayers for you and your husband. I don't know how you do it. You are a very strong woman.


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## Glynda (Apr 14, 2020)

My husband is wandering. He has been picking up the groceries I order online for curbside pickup and two meals we ordered for takeout from restaurants in the neighborhood. But last week he declared that he was going to Costco. That terrified me. However, nothing I could say could dissuade him. It seemed to work out. Though I have plenty of household chores he could do, he prefers to volunteer at the theater across the street (Alone, they are closed but he has a key.). He's cleaned the set department workshop, painted the garage door as well as the entrance door and I suspect he's repairing some wood rot over there. He already maintains half of the alley outside of the theater (alley owned by the city).  My biggest concern is that he runs into too many people to talk to when working on the alley.  The theater doesn't worry me. I just wish he's expend that energy here.


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## leadfoone (Apr 14, 2020)

Panina said:


> Who really knows.  The facts are only as good as the person telling them.  Here is the article he referenced.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Since they are not totally sure how people get it... and since testing is still not widely available to everyone she could have had it before she sheltered in place.  They say it comes on slowly.  All you can do is take as many precautions as possible to not get it.


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## Glynda (Apr 14, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being frustrated with your other half.  I just spent half an hour explaining  to mine AGAIN why we aren’t doing anything tomorrow, why we aren’t flying north,why we  don’t drive the 2400 miles with me being the only driver, why I didn’t take him somewhere today.  he has me so worked up it will be another night not being able to get to sleep.



I understand your frustration. It's so hard to be a caregiver. We've had my mother for 8 years now and at first it was a blessing as was so active, loves to cook and eat her own food so became our cook and even sometimes laundress.  Now, at 98, she's waning and very slow moving. Her very sharp mind of a year or more ago is showing some signs of confusion. She forgets about this virus thing from time to time. I was taking an online Italian test in a Zoom classroom yesterday when she walked through and started handling the groceries that I'd had to leave on the "contaminated area" of the kitchen because I ran out of time to wipe them down, put them away and clean the area before the test. I wanted to yell at her not to touch but the class could have heard me so had to ask the professor if I could take a minute to speak to my mother. Since New Year's she's been on pureed food only. But she has walked into the kitchen and taken a spoonful of what I'm cooking, prior to pureeing, to check it out! Two days ago she told me wanted a grilled cheese sandwich.  Last night, she wanted a BLT.  Both times when her dinner was ready. Not happening. Pureeing three items separately that I've cooked, washing the processor in between, often leaves my food cold by the time I finish hers. She won't take her meds like she should but complains of pain. She won't put eyedrops in her dry eyes saying she just can't. She needs help dressing and undressing and with the upkeep of her room. I'm worn out, burned out.  I feel guilty that I sometimes mourn and resent the time we've lost of our retirement when otherwise we would be able to travel. I just have to keep reminding myself of all that she has been to us and done for us.


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## Cornell (Apr 14, 2020)

Too all you caregivers, I give you my support.  I cannot even imagine how hard it must be.


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## rapmarks (Apr 14, 2020)

If we go out on a walk, my husband will get real close to anyone who will talk to him.  I have been helping make masks for fire department, and had to bring him along to bring in what I had cut,and there he is going right up to people.


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## Panina (Apr 14, 2020)

Glynda said:


> My husband is wandering. He has been picking up the groceries I order online for curbside pickup and two meals we ordered for takeout from restaurants in the neighborhood. But last week he declared that he was going to Costco. That terrified me. However, nothing I could say could dissuade him. It seemed to work out. Though I have plenty of household chores he could do, he prefers to volunteer at the theater across the street (Alone, they are closed but he has a key.). He's cleaned the set department workshop, painted the garage door as well as the entrance door and I suspect he's repairing some wood rot over there. He already maintains half of the alley outside of the theater (alley owned by the city).  My biggest concern is that he runs into too many people to talk to when working on the alley.  The theater doesn't worry me. I just wish he's expend that energy here.


I understand the moment of being terrified.  I was too.  Then I realized no matter how careful we think we are there will still be risk.  We will be living with this for awhile and for many of us we will need to venture out.  As long as we take precautions we have been told about our risk will not be as high.  Life will go on and we have no choice but to adjust.


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## clifffaith (Apr 14, 2020)

pedro47 said:


> I have not seen a buffet in a supermarket open since this coronavirus started In Virginia.. Someone needs to report this Safeway store to their local health department or their state Department of Health .ASAP.



The aisle monitor at Von's was a wealth of info today. We were standing where she could hear us when I told Cliff to go find his free donuts and free loaf of French bread from our Monopoly coupons. She immediately piped up with "no self serve donuts, but you can use two donut coupons to buy a two pack". I wouldn't be surprised if it takes a long time for most of the self serve stuff to come back. We got self serve nuts at Sprouts when this first started, but a day later couldn't grind our own coffee at Smart & Final. Now S&F is back to letting us grind coffee -- not sure what they are doing with all the nuts/candy/flour bins at Sprouts because we don't go there very often.


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## Panina (Apr 14, 2020)

WinniWoman said:


> No, You Don't Need To Disinfect Your Groceries. But Here's How To Shop Safely
> 
> 
> Coronavirus got you nervous about grocery shopping? We talked to scientists for their advice about how to stay safe at the store — and when handling food back home.
> ...


No one really know for sure all the ways we get this.  What we are told is ok today can be different tomorrow. We just can try to do our best.


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## VacationForever (Apr 14, 2020)

Panina said:


> I understand the moment of being terrified.  I was too.  Then I realized no matter how careful we think we are there will still be risk.  We will be living with this for awhile and for many of us we will need to venture out.  As long as we take precautions we have been told about our risk will not be as high.  Life will go on and we have no choice but to adjust.


Our PCP was very clear: Stay home and do not go to any store or anywhere.  We got clearance from him to golf in our cart with no one else and since that is not an option anymore we are literally stuck here in the home 24x7 except to bring in boxes and letters and we take lots of precaution when handling them.


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## Panina (Apr 14, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> If we go out on a walk, my husband will get real close to anyone who will talk to him.  I have been helping make masks for fire department, and had to bring him along to bring in what I had cut,and there he is going right up to people.


Even those who fully get it are still doing that.  It is habit for most.  Multiple times this week a neighbor was outside and just came walking up to us.  Each time I had to say back up, 6 ft distance.  Seems people think 3 ft is 6 feet.  Just now we went to my other half’s off site  garage and the manager, who also lives in our development, saw us drive in and started walking to our car and I had to tell him too close.


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## elaine (Apr 14, 2020)

we're still disinfecting groceries. Likely not needed, but only takes a 10 minutes and since we're employing Draconian measures otherwise, why not take it to the max, IMHO. DH goes out 1X/week in mask/gloves to store. We put clothing in washer upon return--also likely unnecessary, but why not.


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## rickandcindy23 (Apr 14, 2020)

Fresh produce, especially tomatoes, seem like a good way to get the virus, with people prodding and touching them.  I like Costco's sealed containers better.  Sprouts near us is a great store.  I should go there, but they never have everything I need.  I always have to go to two stores, when that is my first stop.  

I want to go to Costco.  The spirit is willing, but the fear of getting sick is definitely there.  I keep thinking I can make it through the next two weeks without going anywhere, but I am running out of healthy food.


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## Panina (Apr 14, 2020)

VacationForever said:


> Our PCP was very clear: Stay home and do not go to any store or anywhere.  We got clearance from him to golf in our cart with no one else and since that is not an option anymore we are literally stuck here in the home 24x7 except to bring in boxes and letters and we take lots of precaution when handling them.


Sometimes there is no choice.  Mom lives in NYC and whereas her PCP said to stay home, he also said not when You need medical attention.  She has macular and whereas they moved her shot from April 24 to May 5 she has to go out in a cab to get the shot.  No choice or she can go blind.


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## VacationForever (Apr 14, 2020)

Panina said:


> Sometimes there is no choice.  Mom lives in NYC and whereas her PCP said to stay home, he also said not when You need medical attention.  She has macular and whereas they moved her shot from April 24 to May 5 she has to go out in a cab to get the shot.  No choice or she can go blind.


Agree.  Somethings are unavoidable.  Our PCP asked us to get a pulse oximeter and if our oxygen saturation drops to 85 then go to ER, otherwise stay home unless it is some kind of emergency.


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## Luanne (Apr 14, 2020)

elaine said:


> we're still disinfecting groceries. Likely not needed, but only takes a 10 minutes and since we're employing Draconian measures otherwise, why not take it to the max, IMHO. DH goes out 1X/week in mask/gloves to store. We put clothing in washer upon return--also likely unnecessary, but why not.


How do you do it so quickly?  Dh said it took him an hour last time he shopped.


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## bbodb1 (Apr 14, 2020)

I've been disinfecting them as I pick them up off the shelves and placing them in bags that were washed/laundered at home...


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## Conan (Apr 14, 2020)

wackymother said:


> Wait, really? Where did this happen, the story about the woman with the groceries? Bc I haven't heard about anything definitely being transferred from groceries or deliveries.


Rather than spray or wash them all, we put everything that comes into the house in 48+ hour quarantine. Amazon items, instacart and peapod deliveries, the mail and all the rest spend a couple of days in purdah, in the garage or segregated in the pantry or refrigerator. Our garage is not mouse-proof so food other than canned goods must come into the house. (We use rubber gloves to grab the mail or handle deliveries.)


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## wackymother (Apr 14, 2020)

Conan said:


> Rather than spray or wash them all, we put everything that comes into the house in 48+ hour quarantine. Amazon items, instacart and peapod deliveries, the mail and all the rest spend a couple of days in purdah, in the garage or segregated in the pantry or refrigerator. Our garage is not mouse-proof so food other than canned goods must come into the house. (We use rubber gloves to grab the mail or handle deliveries.)



That's basically what we do too. We leave the things we can for 24 hours in a front room, and we wash our hands 80 gazillion times a day. Outer boxes from deliveries and outer bags never come all the way into the house.


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## Glynda (Apr 14, 2020)

rapmarks said:


> If we go out on a walk, my husband will get real close to anyone who will talk to him.  I have been helping make masks for fire department, and had to bring him along to bring in what I had cut,and there he is going right up to people.



Mother and I walk around the block most days.  She too gets too close.  I have to remind her to stay back several times. Because our sidewalks are so bad, she likes to walk in the street. Not much of a problem right now but often when on our very narrow street, cars have to wait for her. One guy rolled down his window right up beside her today and told her "You're doing good!" I was cringing at how close he was.


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## Glynda (Apr 14, 2020)

Conan said:


> Rather than spray or wash them all, we put everything that comes into the house in 48+ hour quarantine. Amazon items, instacart and peapod deliveries, the mail and all the rest spend a couple of days in purdah, in the garage or segregated in the pantry or refrigerator. Our garage is not mouse-proof so food other than canned goods must come into the house. (We use rubber gloves to grab the mail or handle deliveries.)



We leave today's newspaper outside for 24 hours. Always a day behind reading it. The mail goes on only one spot for 24 hours. The groceries are set out on the porch and I bring in what must go in the fridge or freezer right away and wash the containers with Dawn and water, rinse, dry, put away and then wash down the countertops, drawer/door handles, faucet & handle, etc., etc. I've been taking a lot of stuff out of its packaging and throwing away the boxes, etc.  Yesterday, hubby brought them all in and set them on the kitchen counter and I couldn't get the job done before class. If I err, I hope that it is on the side of caution.


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## Glynda (Apr 14, 2020)

Panina said:


> Sometimes there is no choice.  Mom lives in NYC and whereas her PCP said to stay home, he also said not when You need medical attention.  She has macular and whereas they moved her shot from April 24 to May 5 she has to go out in a cab to get the shot.  No choice or she can go blind.



My mother has macular too but we've never been told of a shot.  What does your mother take?


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## Panina (Apr 14, 2020)

Glynda said:


> My mother has macular too but we've never been told of a shot.  What does your mother take?


Eylea for wet macular degeneration.  Possibly your moms is still dry.

Mom is legally blind in her other eye since a child so preserving this eye as best as she can is a must.


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## elaine (Apr 16, 2020)

Luanne said:


> How do you do it so quickly? Dh said it took him an hour last time he shopped.


DH shops in mask/gloves and bring them home. He rebags into clean bags in garage then puts bags on floor. Then, he takes items out an and puts on on side of counter. then sprays or wipes down  each with disinfectant and moves to "clean" side of counter. Where we leave for at least 5 minutes. Then I put them up. Shelf stable items: spaghetti sauce, rice, cereal, etc. get left in garage for several days. We might or not sterile when we use it, depending on how long it stayed in garage.
Frozen foods get sprayed and then in freezer after 5 minutes.
Fresh veggies/fruit get washed with water.


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