# An idea for presentations....



## jont (Aug 6, 2015)

davidvel said:


> "The show", I love it. It truly is a comedy show. If only they had a 2 drink minimum!



And they have Kenny Bania as the headliner! 
Resale...that's a funny word   
and
What is with these tuggers?... and what exactly are they tugging?


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## Fasttr (Aug 6, 2015)

jont said:


> And they have Kenny Bania as the headliner!
> Resale...that's a funny word
> and
> What is with these tuggers?... and what exactly are they tugging?



A Big Lebowski and Seinfeld fan.....now you're talking.


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## mj2vacation (Aug 6, 2015)

If you want to have fun during your Marriott Presentations, bring along a copy of The Sneeches by Dr Seuss.  

As soon as the conversation veers to the "you must have those weeks removed from your file, now you must purchase points by the pile, if you wish to go to the places that you will go, give me your credit card, and on with the show" nonsense, pull out the book and read it to the salesperson.  

It really is a good example of the way that Marriott is pitching the program in the worst way.  Selling by fear is the lowest form of sliminess. We screwed you in the past, but trust us, give us more money, and all of your problems are solved. 

http://riverwoodm.johnston.k12.nc.us/common/pages/DisplayFile.aspx?itemId=6318350

And the video version
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VohyMXB4FLo

JW McMonkey McBean....


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## DeniseM (Aug 6, 2015)

Why go AT ALL?


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## classiclincoln (Aug 7, 2015)

"Why go AT ALL? "

My thoughts exactly.  My time is worth much more than the $100 they are giving....


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## piper_chuck (Aug 7, 2015)

classiclincoln said:


> "Why go AT ALL? "
> 
> My thoughts exactly.  My time is worth much more than the $100 they are giving....


When we attended last week in Orlando we got $150 AND some really good information about things to do and places to see in St Thomas and St John.


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## csxjohn (Aug 7, 2015)

mj2vacation said:


> If you want to have fun during your Marriott Presentations, bring along a copy of The Sneeches by Dr Seuss.
> 
> As soon as the conversation veers to the "you must have those weeks removed from your file, now you must purchase points by the pile, if you wish to go to the places that you will go, give me your credit card, and on with the show" nonsense, pull out the book and read it to the salesperson.
> 
> ...



That is beautiful and whether you go to the presentations or not you should read this, it sums up Timeshare World and the nonsense the developers try to entice us with, Marriott or otherwise.


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## Sandy (Aug 7, 2015)

*Why go? Because...*

I am one of those persons who has no problem going to presentations, if the incentive is worth it. My DH hates these with a passion! We don't go often, maybe once every few years or so.

For me, it has been beneficial when I am able to learn new things about the particular resort, or their system or other tips I did not know. When I learn these new things, I come to TUG to post them and share with all. 

I know of folks who go to Mexico for 2 or more weeks (lucky Canadians or Europeans or retirees with lots of time.)  The first week they go to presentations daily and collect the bounty. In Mexico this can be $200+ per presentation.  

The next week they relax and enjoy their vacation, expenses recouped.  Sounds like a plan I could do, but no way would I be able to given the fact that DH would go to one at most. 

But everyone has different approaches. I like to see what I can learn. But it has to be worth my time, and I have to have the time to spend. If it is only a week vacation, probably not going.

Thanks for sharing the "Sneeches" book. I forgot about that, and it truly does apply!  Kudos!


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## Passepartout (Aug 7, 2015)

DeniseM said:


> Why go AT ALL?



Some people are just drawn to 'em, like a moth to a flame. Play with fire, get burned.


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## silentg (Aug 7, 2015)

What happened to wearing TUG shirts?


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> A Big Lebowski and Seinfeld fan.....now you're talking.



they're the best Fasttr....the best!


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

jont said:


> they're the best Fasttr....the best!



All of a sudden, I have a craving for some Consommé soup with crumpled crackers!!!  Now that could be a meal.


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## davidvel (Aug 7, 2015)

DeniseM said:


> Why go AT ALL?


You have to on the tour to get to the encore desk, to get the package, that enrolls your week in DC for FREE? 

You have to go again on your encore package?


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## dmharris (Aug 7, 2015)

We go to the Marriott presentations for the Marriott Reward points; I've probably accumulated over 100,000 points just from presentations.  For me, that's worth it as I'm not traveling for business as much as I used to, so it keeps me in points!    Also, I'm an information junkie and I always learn something new whether about timeshare ownership, Marriott or vacationing.


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## taterhed (Aug 7, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> A Big Lebowski and Seinfeld fan.....now you're talking.





jont said:


> they're the best Fasttr....the best!




 Now there is an idea....

 Pick your favorite Seinfeld character (not sure how well Big L. would work!).  Go to the sales presentation.  Remain in character for the entire 90 minutes.

 Priceless. 

 "No timeshare for you!!"

 :rofl:


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## SueDonJ (Aug 7, 2015)

taterhed said:


> Now there is an idea....
> 
> Pick your favorite Seinfeld character (not sure how well Big L. would work!).  Go to the sales presentation.  Remain in character for the entire 90 minutes.
> 
> ...



Unless you're Elaine, in which case you'll have to buy up everything they offer before they're discontinued.

"Is it timeshare-worthy?"


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

SueDonJ said:


> Unless you're Elaine, in which case you'll have to buy up everything they offer before they're discontinued.
> 
> "Is it timeshare-worthy?"



Or Kramer, who takes a 2 week timeshare "test drive"


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## raygo123 (Aug 7, 2015)

Luxury lanes

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

I can picture David Puddy as a TS salesperson.....high 5!


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

jont said:


> I can picture David Puddy as a TS salesperson.....high 5!



Or J Peterman, as he could, like every good salesperson, tell a ripping good yarn.

And perhaps if you show the Van Buren Boy's secret hand signal, you can get out before 90 minutes.


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## raygo123 (Aug 7, 2015)

Do u think the week of festafist is availab!le

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

raygo123 said:


> Do u think the week of festafist is availab!le
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk



That would be a Platinum Plus Event Week and would take some Feats of Strength to obtain.

Serenity Now!!!!


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

Im going to my next presentation as a low talker and wear my puffy shirt. 

can you spare some mrp's for an ol' buccaneer?   aaarg!


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

can we call the skim....shrinkage?

I WAS IN THE POOL! 
I WAS IN THE POOL!


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## taterhed (Aug 7, 2015)

I think I can sum up the value of this timeshare for you in one word.....Nothing!

 Nothing?

 Exactly. Nothing!


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

And the story we'll be told about Super-morphed Points.....

They're real and they're spectacular!!!!


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## taterhed (Aug 7, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> And the story we'll be told about Super-morphed Points.....
> 
> They're real and they're spectacular!!!!



:hysterical:

 stop..stop


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> And the story we'll be told about Super-morphed Points.....
> 
> They're real and they're spectacular!!!!



LMAO.. I don't think I can top that one.


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## amanda14 (Aug 7, 2015)

Maybe your sales reps name will be Dolores


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> Maybe your sales reps name will be Dolores



Or better yet, Sue Ellen Mischke, the Oh Henry candy bar heiress, wearing her favorite "top".


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## taterhed (Aug 7, 2015)

I think I just soiled myself.


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

you can always pull a "Papi" on the salesperson


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

taterhed said:


> I think I just soiled myself.



You could use some cologne that smells like the beach!!!


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

I just hope they don't suggest a "contest"


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

jont said:


> I just hope they don't suggest a "contest"



Who are you kidding....you would be out as fast as Kramer was.  

All of this reminds me of the last time I attended a MVC sales pitch... I started to walk into the presentation. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past the cheap breakfast offerings, a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you Jont, at that moment I knew that I was going to say no.


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## jont (Aug 7, 2015)

Come on Fasttr....save the trust....save the trust


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

jont said:


> Come on Fasttr....save the trust....save the trust



About 15 minutes before the presentation was to end, suddenly the great closer appeared before me. I tell ya he had sold one million points if he had sold one.  As if sensing my presence he gave out a big bellow. I said, "Easy big fella!" And then as I watched him struggling with the whiteboard, I realized something was obstructing his talking.  From where I was standing I could see directly into the mouth of the great closer and his lips were definitely moving.  Then from out of nowhere a final push to sell the Trust points ensued, feeling like I had been tossed like a cork, again I found myself looking at him face to face.  I could barely see from all of the numbers dancing in my head, but I knew something was there so I reached my hand into his mouth and pulled out the obstruction…it was a giant ball of half truths, slippery tactics and sales speak.

The other folks on the tour went wild....it was like Rocky 1.


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## Sandy (Aug 7, 2015)

dmharris said:


> We go to the Marriott presentations for the Marriott Reward points; I've probably accumulated over 100,000 points just from presentations.  For me, that's worth it as I'm not traveling for business as much as I used to, so it keeps me in points!    Also, I'm an information junkie and I always learn something new whether about timeshare ownership, Marriott or vacationing.



I agree! Info junkie is a good way to put it. I keep learning new stuff from some of these presentations.


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## Sandy (Aug 7, 2015)

silentg said:


> What happened to wearing TUG shirts?



I got my TUG shirt this June and wore it at the resort and around the presentation office. I think I saved a few folks. Love the shirts!


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## taterhed (Aug 7, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> About 15 minutes before the presentation was to end, suddenly the great closer appeared before me. I tell ya he had sold one million points if he had sold one. As if sensing my presence he gave out a big bellow. I said, "Easy big fella!" And then as I watched him struggling with the whiteboard, I realized something was obstructing his talking. From where I was standing I could see directly into the mouth of the great closer and his lips were definitely moving. Then from out of nowhere a final push to sell the Trust points ensued, feeling like I had been tossed like a cork, again I found myself looking at him face to face. I could barely see from all of the numbers dancing in my head, but I knew something was there so I reached my hand into his mouth and pulled out the obstruction…it was a giant ball of half truths, slippery tactics and sales speak.
> 
> The other folks on the tour went wild....it was like Rocky 1.



 you know....when you're not on vacation, you really shouldn't drink before 5 o'clock.   

 fine semi-quote


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## Fasttr (Aug 7, 2015)

taterhed said:


> you know....when you're not on vacation, you really shouldn't drink before 5 o'clock.



A lesson I one day hope to learn.


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## amanda14 (Aug 7, 2015)

jont said:


> you can always pull a "Papi" on the salesperson



Papi has some friends in the Health Dept right?  Man he made good pizza!


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## raygo123 (Aug 7, 2015)

So these people u saved car accident? Plague?  I have not been on tug for years.  Abit of resentment fills the screen
What did u save them from?

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## BJRSanDiego (Aug 7, 2015)

I've thought that it would be interesting to request that the presentation be recorded and that representations made during the presentation be transcribed to become part of the binding contract documents.  :hysterical:


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## dioxide45 (Aug 7, 2015)

I have kept track of the tours we have taken, I have them all accounted for except the very first one we did way back in the early 2000s. We have taken on average two per year since 2006 with as many as three in a calendar year and four in a rolling 12 month period.

It all adds up to 260,000 MR points for spending over 24 hours in a sales office.


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## billymach4 (Aug 7, 2015)

dioxide45 said:


> I have kept track of the tours we have taken, I have them all accounted for except the very first one we did way back in the early 2000s. We have taken on average two per year since 2006 with as many as three in a calendar year and four in a rolling 12 month period.
> 
> It all adds up to 260,000 MR points for spending over 24 hours in a sales office.



Dioxide,

Do you think it is a worthwhile way to spend your vacation? You have effective spent 3 full daylight hours in a salesroom? 

I know for sure I will not be setting foot in a presentation after my last experience!


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> About 15 minutes before the presentation was to end, suddenly the great closer appeared before me. I tell ya he had sold one million points if he had sold one.  As if sensing my presence he gave out a big bellow. I said, "Easy big fella!" And then as I watched him struggling with the whiteboard, I realized something was obstructing his talking.  From where I was standing I could see directly into the mouth of the great closer and his lips were definitely moving.  Then from out of nowhere a final push to sell the Trust points ensued, feeling like I had been tossed like a cork, again I found myself looking at him face to face.  I could barely see from all of the numbers dancing in my head, but I knew something was there so I reached my hand into his mouth and pulled out the obstruction…it was a giant ball of half truths, slippery tactics and sales speak.
> 
> The other folks on the tour went wild....it was like Rocky 1.



Is that a bundled package?.....................hole in one!


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> Papi has some friends in the Health Dept right?  Man he made good pizza!



But Papi was a little sloppy!

always check the seat cousions before sitting down at a presentation


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## Sandy (Aug 8, 2015)

raygo123 said:


> So these people u saved car accident? Plague?  I have not been on tug for years.  Abit of resentment fills the screen
> What did u save them from?
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk



Saved them from buying a full priced timeshare.  TUG has t-shirts available that promote buying resale and many of us have supported TUG by purchasing the shirts.


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## dioxide45 (Aug 8, 2015)

billymach4 said:


> Dioxide,
> 
> Do you think it is a worthwhile way to spend your vacation? You have effective spent 3 full daylight hours in a salesroom?
> 
> I know for sure I will not be setting foot in a presentation after my last experience!



That time is over 19 vacations of at least a week long each, if not two. So it really isn't that bad. It seems like an effective use of time for us since we now have enough points just from that for a travel package that we can extract a few thousand dollars of value from.

Of course, we use those points to supplement the others that we earn. There is no other way we would ever save up enough points to get to the levels needed for a travel package. It would take us a decade or more. Other than the credit card and a couple paid nights at a Marriott hotel each year, we have no other ways to earn reward points, unless we convert a week to MR points.


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

jont said:


> But Papi was a little sloppy!



As Jackie Chiles would say.... That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!


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## raygo123 (Aug 8, 2015)

I didn't know tug stood for "only buy resale"  I thought it was for the free exchange of timeshare information.
Back in the 1990's one bit of help full info I received was to turn down the first two offers to attend a presentation

Third was best.  Things to do that sort of thing now it is complain and figure out how to beat the new rules when it comes to mega renters.   

I hope those u "helped save" was in their best interests


Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## Mister Sir (Aug 8, 2015)

DeniseM said:


> Why go AT ALL?



On our last vacation I had stubbornly decided to NOT attend the presentation and I was a bit rude when I told them so. But when they offered free breakfast and four all-day ski lift tickets, I relented (after some prodding by my wife). The breakfast was awful but the lift tickets saved us $360 so it was worth 2 hours of our time while the kids were sleeping in one morning.


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## Mister Sir (Aug 8, 2015)

raygo123 said:


> I didn't know tug stood for "only buy resale"  I thought it was for the free exchange of timeshare information.
> ...
> I hope those u "helped save" was in their best interests
> 
> ...



Thankfully, I found TUG in time to save me from wasting over $10,000 on a retail purchase. I ended up finding a TS better suited to my needs and it was totally free. I'd say that's in my best interest.


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## raygo123 (Aug 8, 2015)

My point.  Would have to know where u bought and vacation goals.  I still own 1resale, yea thought that's what I needed.  Priced right etc and they were not going to rip ! Me off those lyers and thrives!  Things change I witch Wyndham owners are finding out.  In the past 2years have become VIP gold.  Enough to get me and my children and grandchildren all together in their po wn units.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## raygo123 (Aug 8, 2015)

By the way it timeshare is pronounced mass of nutten

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## taterhed (Aug 8, 2015)

Do you smell something?  Smells like Troll. :annoyed:


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## billymach4 (Aug 8, 2015)

billymach4 said:


> Dioxide,
> 
> Do you think it is a worthwhile way to spend your vacation? You have effective spent 3 full daylight hours in a salesroom?
> 
> I know for sure I will not be setting foot in a presentation after my last experience!



I just don't know.... I am not the type of person that can sit there and let someone blatantly tell me misinformation for that length of time. You know how the system works better that most sales people. How to you contain yourself?


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## amanda14 (Aug 8, 2015)

It's a Marriott coffee table book about Marriott timesharing.


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## silentg (Aug 8, 2015)

We don't just promote buying resale on here. We share helpful information about places we have traveled to on vacations. Give tips on resturants, airline info, what to see and do at locations. I look to TUG for advice, especially if I am traveling to a new destination. If we come off as bitter, I am sorry you feel that way. I have found many Tuggers to be helpful and friendly. Life is short, if healthy, travel and enjoy yourself! 
Silentg


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

when the phone rings say "Vandlay Vacation Club"

Vandlay vacation club? what do we do?

We have timeshare trust points.

And what do you do?

I'm your timeshare salesman!

you"re gonna be my timeshare salesman?  I don't think so!

come on! you know I always wanted to pretend to be a timeshare salesman!


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

They say no one's ever beaten the timeshare sales pitch, but gentlemen, I tell you this...I came as close as anyone ever has.


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## bruce.r.casper (Aug 8, 2015)

Where does one find a TUG t-shirt?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## SueDonJ (Aug 8, 2015)

bruce.r.casper said:


> Where does one find a TUG t-shirt?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



Check out Keep Calm and Buy Resale T-shirt available for regular purchase!


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## raygo123 (Aug 8, 2015)

U don't have to sit through anything call the 800number and ask for sales. I bought 128,000 points for $.13/ point that was $.02 per point cheaper than going to a presentation. Told about 15 minutes and got 172000 bonus points 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## SueDonJ (Aug 8, 2015)

raygo123 said:


> U don't have to sit through anything call the 800number and ask for sales. I bought 128,000 points for $.13/ point that was $.02 per point cheaper than going to a presentation. Told about 15 minutes and got 172000 bonus points
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk



Before the Marriott TUGgers heads blow up, raygo is talking here about Wyndham Points, not Marriott.  

Raygo, it's great you're enthusiastic about your direct purchases wherever/whatever they may be.  There are many TUGgers who have purchased timeshares direct and are very happy with them, me included.  But there are substantial savings to be had on the external resale market, and those buyers are as welcome on TUG as you are.  None of us wants or needs to be denigrated for our purchase decisions.


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

fasttr said:


> they say no one's ever beaten the timeshare sales pitch, but gentlemen, i tell you this...i came as close as anyone ever has.



why can't you be more like more lloyd braun!


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## amanda14 (Aug 8, 2015)

Why the hell did you trade Jay Buhner?


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

jont said:


> why can't you be more like more lloyd braun!



This is the most public yet of my many humiliations!


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

at the last presentation we attended, we were told they would be adding units from Del Boca Vista to the trust. units have no air conditioning, only sleeper sofas and you have to wear your sneakers in the pool. good thing my son hasn't sold my moth ridden cabana wear!


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> This sort of became the thread about nothing at about post #16.    Sorry for the hijack shoeie.
> 
> Were you talking about acronyms prior to that?  Such as???



yes shoeie, sorry about the hijack but this was just too much fun to pass up. maybe Sue can split this thread into two?


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

jont said:


> at the last presentation we attended, we were told they would be adding units from del boca vista to the trust. Units have no air conditioning, only sleeper sofas and you have to wear your sneakers in the pool. Good thing my son hasn't sold my moth ridden cabana wear!



*Stella....Stella!!!!*


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

jont said:


> at the last presentation we attended, we were told they would be adding units from Del Boca Vista to the trust. units have no air conditioning, only sleeper sofas and you have to wear your sneakers in the pool. good thing my son hasn't sold my moth ridden cabana wear!



they also served chocolate babka and marble rye. my gift was a pen thst writes upsidedown


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

If only there was a Marriott timeshare in Tuscana.  Mr. Giggio thought there was.


.


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

jont said:


> at the last presentation we attended, we were told they would be adding units from Del Boca Vista to the trust. units have no air conditioning, only sleeper sofas and you have to wear your sneakers in the pool. good thing my son hasn't sold my moth ridden cabana wear!



At my last one....we were seated on a velvet couch....and I got a label maker for a gift.  It looked like it had already been opened....I think they re-gifted.


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> At my last one....we were seated on a velvet couch....and I got a label maker for a gift.  It looked like it had already been opened....I think they re-gifted.



I forgot, I also got a case of Chinese gum. I might be wrong, but is that a lot of gum?  That's s lot of gum! our sales person was Donna Chang:


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> If only there was a Marriott timeshare in Tuscana.  Mr. Giggio thought there was.
> 
> 
> .



Si thisa one! capice?


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

You know my friend Bob Sacamano?  He received a Russian hat for a gift.  He said it wasn't Sable.....but the difference was negligible.


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

jont said:


> ...our sales person was Donna Chang:



I tried to get her, but when I called, the lines were crossed.  I hear she can be a great marriage counselor too!!!


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You know my friend Bob Sacamano?  He received a Russian hat for a gift.  He said it wasn't Sable.....but the difference was negligible.



that's not good for anyone! vile weed!
Kenny? Kenny!


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## amanda14 (Aug 8, 2015)

jont said:


> they also served chocolate babka and marble rye. my gift was a pen thst writes upsidedown



Was it a Schnitzer's rye?


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> Why the hell did you trade Jay Buhner?



because he loves the slop! eats the slop!
His fadder was a mudda!
His mudda was a mudda!
loves the slop


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> Was it a Schnitzer's rye?



yes. fish hook not included.


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

At my last presentation, the wonderfully truthful salesperson said a MVC in NY City was coming soon.  I can’t wait for that.  I hear swimming in the East River is great for the back.  Four hours in that chop and I’d be a full inch taller.


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

I have an upcoming stay at Ocean Pointe and when they called to sign me up for a tour, they mentioned they were pondering making the gift be a fitted hat.  I told them it might be tough to figure out the hat sizes of 59,000 different people.  If a pinhead showed up, they’d have to be on top of that.


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> At my last presentation, the wonderfully truthful salesperson said a MVC in NY City was coming soon.  I can’t wait for that.  I hear swimming in the East River is great for the back.  Four hours in that chop and I’d be a full inch taller.


can you imagine what those matresses would smell like?
watch out for Neumann! Cannonball!


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## jont (Aug 8, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I have an upcoming stay at Ocean Pointe and when they called to sign me up for a tour, they mentioned they were pondering making the gift be a fitted hat.  I told them it might be tough to figure out the hat sizes of 59,000 different people.  If a pinhead showed up, they’d have to be on top of that.


Urban sombrerros?


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## amanda14 (Aug 8, 2015)

This salad has nothin on this mutton


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## Fasttr (Aug 8, 2015)

Sorry for my lengthy gap in posting....I went to see Chunnel at the Lowes Paragon, 84th and Broadway.  It certainly was an odd call to Movie Phone though.


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## cali-gal (Aug 9, 2015)

I've never been offered points for attending presentations-- only certificates good at certain restaurants and maybe a small gift of sorts. How have you gotten MR points? I think I'd rather have points if that was a possibly.


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## jont (Aug 9, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Sorry for my lengthy gap in posting....I went to see Chunnel at the Lowes Paragon, 84th and Broadway.  It certainly was an odd call to Movie Phone though.



Did you stop off at Papaya King to get a hotdog before the show or did you just pick one up at the concession stand? It's a perfectly sane food!


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## amanda14 (Aug 9, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Sorry for my lengthy gap in posting....I went to see Chunnel at the Lowes Paragon, 84th and Broadway.  It certainly was an odd call to Movie Phone though.



Why don't you just tell me the movie you want to see


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## jont (Aug 9, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> At my last presentation, the wonderfully truthful salesperson said a MVC in NY City was coming soon.  I can’t wait for that.  I hear swimming in the East River is great for the back.  Four hours in that chop and I’d be a full inch taller.



A recent rumor I heard was the the Vandlay Vacation Club, in order to kickstart interest in timeshare ownership in NYC will offer a new innovative timeshare sales presentation. They will be offering a presentation which takes part on the J. Petermann reality bus tour hosted by Cosmo Kramer, aka the "real J. Petermann". During the tour, Cosmo will be pointing out potential properties which may or not be added to the trust. Snacks to provided will include muffin stumps provided by "Top of the Muffin!!!!!!! To You!!!!!!!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 9, 2015)

jont said:


> A recent rumor I heard was the the Vandlay Vacation Club, in order to kickstart interest in timeshare ownership in NYC will offer a new innovative timeshare sales presentation. They will be offering a presentation which takes part on the J. Petermann reality bus tour hosted by Cosmo Kramer, aka the "real J. Petermann". During the tour, Cosmo will be pointing out potential properties which may or not be added to the trust. Snacks to provided will include muffin stumps provided by "Top of the Muffin!!!!!!! To You!!!!!!!



I heard that guy was wanted as the Smog Strangler.


----------



## jont (Aug 9, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I heard that guy was wanted as the Smog Strangler.



aka Steven Snell


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 9, 2015)

jont said:


> aka Steven Snell



If only Murphy Brown knew how successful he would be at Kramerica Industries, intern and all.


----------



## jont (Aug 9, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> If only Murphy Brown knew how successful he would be at Kramerica Industries, intern and all.



and with Darin's help we're gonna get that chicken.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 9, 2015)

When he listened to his katra....he could certainly dominate the dojo.


----------



## Ty1on (Aug 9, 2015)

I was in the pool! I was in the pool!

That's all I've got.


----------



## jont (Aug 9, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> When he listened to his katra....he could certainly dominate the dojo.



he also has the kavorka


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 9, 2015)

jont said:


> he also has the kavorka



But....he never had shiksa appeal


----------



## jont (Aug 9, 2015)

jont said:


> A recent rumor I heard was the the Vandlay Vacation Club, in order to kickstart interest in timeshare ownership in NYC will offer a new innovative timeshare sales presentation. They will be offering a presentation which takes part on the J. Petermann reality bus tour hosted by Cosmo Kramer, aka the "real J. Petermann". During the tour, Cosmo will be pointing out potential properties which may or not be added to the trust. Snacks to provided will include muffin stumps provided by "Top of the Muffin!!!!!!! To You!!!!!!!



ok I just learned that a new property has been added to the trust

The Costanza
located in central Queens
it features chilled apple juice, a hif-fi that plays the Ray Coniff Singers, an extensive libarary of TV Guides, a distinctive odor of mothballs and kasha and a regulation pool table. it's the place to be!

point requirements start at 8500 per week up to the delux package  of 25,000 points which includes Frank and Estelle yelling at you, jello in your room and a round of billards with Bob Cobb.
just dont be caught reading Estell's Glamour magazine.

dont even try to book this week during Festivus thou


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 9, 2015)

jont said:


> ok I just learned that a new property has been added to the trust
> 
> The Costanza
> located in central Queens
> ...



Did the Maestro have his pants on?


----------



## jont (Aug 9, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Did the Maestro have his pants on?



no but he was just about to pump in some Verdi


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> no but he was just about to pump in some Verdi



That would pale in comparison to a track of Witch-ay Woman, unless of course you are a fan of Desperado.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> ok I just learned that a new property has been added to the trust
> 
> The Costanza



I just signed a deal to buy some more developer Trust points because of this addition, but now I am having second thoughts.  Does anybody know the Statue of Limitations on how long I have before I need to rescind.


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I just signed a deal to buy some more developer Trust points because of this addition, but now I am having second thoughts.  Does anybody know the Statue of Limitations on how long I have before I need to rescind.



I think you may be able to back out of the deal due to a potential infestation problem they may have at that property. just sayin


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> I think you may be able to back out of the deal due to a potential infestation problem they may have at that property. just sayin



I will not tolerate infestation!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I will not tolerate infestation!!!



You sure you want to recind? Frank is an excellent cook and has been known to put out quite a nice spread. just check those expiration dates first.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> You sure you want to recind?



Good point.  They did say they would toss in a new Cadillac for my dad.


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Good point.  They did say they would toss in a new Cadillac for my dad.



Be sure its a pre and not a post everglades model


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Looking back on the past 60 or so posts, this has truly become a thread about NOTHING!
Scary part is that i"m sure both Fasttr, amanda and I have lots more material.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> Looking back on the past 60 or so posts, this has truly become a thread about NOTHING!
> Scary part is that i"m sure both Fasttr, amanda and I have lots more material.



It is amazing at how few of us are posting.  Its almost like everybody else is living in a bubble.


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> It is amazing at how few of us are posting.  Its almost like everybody else is living in a bubble.



That reminds me. I heard the Ross cabin was supposed to be added to the trust until It burned down.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> That reminds me. I heard the Ross cabin was supposed to be added to the trust until It burned down.



That made me almost as sad as when the Moops invaded Spain in the 8th century.


----------



## raygo123 (Aug 10, 2015)

The mood the mayier. Lol

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## dansimms (Aug 10, 2015)

*Hotel Points Conversion Suggestion*

How about Marriott offer an immediate crediting of the Hotel Points if you decide to use your week that way?  We know the value had receded rather dramatically.  Best solution would also be adding an inflation boost to the # we receive, but in addition, if you are at a certain level or above, they go into your hotel account in 10 days or less, rather than in January.  Inflation Boost could work something like this..........year purchased..........less than 10 years add 15%, if purchased from 10 to 15 years ago add 20%, if purchased from 15to 25 years ago add 35%.


----------



## Ty1on (Aug 10, 2015)

dansimms said:


> How about Marriott offer an immediate crediting of the Hotel Points if you decide to use your week that way?  We know the value had receded rather dramatically.  Best solution would also be adding an inflation boost to the # we receive, but in addition, if you are at a certain level or above, they go into your hotel account in 10 days or less, rather than in January.  Inflation Boost could work something like this..........year purchased..........less than 10 years add 15%, if purchased from 10 to 15 years ago add 20%, if purchased from 15to 25 years ago add 35%.



You have completely missed the topic of the thread, which apparently is "Hijack an innocent thread from Seinfeld Nerd references ad nauseum."


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

Ty1on said:


> Seinfeld Nerd references ad nauseum."



"ad nauseum".....I'll have you know jont has not thrown up since June 29th, 1980....unless you count tossing his black and white cookies.  

Look to the Cookie!!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Ty1on said:


> You have completely missed the topic of the thread, which apparently is "Hijack an innocent thread from Seinfeld Nerd references ad nauseum."



On saturday, I  apologized to the OP for the hijacking asked our moderator Sue to split the seinfeld references into another thread. She ended up placing the comments into our current thread. Sorry if this sort of thing offends you but we are just having a little fun. If it bothers you so much I suggest you stop reading this thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fasttr  View Post
This sort of became the thread about nothing at about post #16.   Sorry for the hijack shoeie.

Were you talking about acronyms prior to that? Such as???
yes shoeie, sorry about the hijack but this was just too much fun to pass up. maybe Sue can split this thread into two?
__________________
John
"careful man, there's a beverage here!" the dude

On deck: all HHI:.Sunset Pointe 3/2016..Harbour Point 8/2016 Waterside 8/2016


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> If it bothers you so much I suggest you stop reading this thread.



Easy jont....you reacted like you just sat on Fusilli Jerry.  : :rofl:  :hysterical:


----------



## Ty1on (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> On saturday, I  apologized to the OP for the hijacking asked our moderator Sue to split the seinfeld references into another thread. She ended up placing the comments into our current thread. Sorry if this sort of thing offends you but we are just having a little fun. If it bothers you so much I suggest you stop reading this thread.
> 
> Quote:
> Originally Posted by Fasttr  View Post
> ...



I'm rather enjoying it.  You can't seem to take a joke as well as you can dish it!


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 10, 2015)

Ty1on said:


> You have completely missed the topic of the thread, which apparently is "Hijack an innocent thread from Seinfeld Nerd references ad nauseum."



I read this over and over looking for a reference and was thinking, man I missed that episode, but this thread has become like the mail.  Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. There's never a letup, It's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more, but the more you get out, the more it keeps coming.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> I read this over and over looking for a reference and was thinking, man I missed that episode, but this thread has become like the mail.  Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. There's never a letup, It's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more, but the more you get out, the more it keeps coming.



Good one!!!!  

You should ask for a transfer to Hawaii.   Where the air is so dewy-sweet you don't even have to lick the stamps.

Must be why GregT likes it there so much!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Easy jont....you reacted like you just sat on Fusilli Jerry.  : :rofl:  :hysterical:



Forget it Fasttr....let's go bowling


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> Forget it Fasttr....let's go bowling



Bowling....its like I'm talking to Bizarro jont.

I've gotta go get some work done.... Old man Leland is bustin' my hump


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Ty1on said:


> You have completely missed the topic of the thread, which apparently is "Hijack an innocent thread from Seinfeld Nerd references ad nauseum."



ad nauseum...that's a funny word

I'll give you that


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Bowling....its like I'm talking to Bizarro jont.
> 
> I've gotta go get some work done.... Old man Leland is bustin' my hump



you're killing independent jont!
a jont divided against himself cannot stand


----------



## raygo123 (Aug 10, 2015)

Bowling does Marriott have bowling Allies of buy that

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## winger (Aug 10, 2015)

silentg said:


> What happened to wearing TUG shirts?



Is there an official TUG T ?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

winger said:


> Is there an official TUG T ?



THIS one looks pretty official.

Or THIS one from MichaelColey

Or the best of the best....THIS one.


.


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## raygo123 (Aug 10, 2015)

Bowling and shirts

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

raygo123 said:


> Bowling and shirts
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk



Yada, Yada, Yada.....


----------



## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I've gotta go get some work done.... Old man Leland is bustin' my hump



You should get a job with Kruger Industrial Smoothing


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> You should get a job with Kruger Industrial Soothing



Smoothing??


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> You should get a job with Kruger Industrial Soothing



Kruger? T BONE


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> You should get a job with Kruger Industrial Soothing



I have applied at Pendant Publishing....I hear they have comfy desks.


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## raygo123 (Aug 10, 2015)

Can u get our tug t's made with our names on back for bowling team?

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

How could we have missed the most relevant Seinfeld quote of all, its like Timeshare Sales 101......


"...just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it"


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## jont (Aug 10, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Smoothing??



my bad....freudian slip....or the occasional acid flashback


what day is it?????


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 10, 2015)

jont said:


> my bad....freudian slip....or the occasional acid flashback



Don't feel bad....remember, Poise Counts!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 11, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Don't feel bad....remember, Poise Counts!!!



it's hard to have poise when crazy Joe Davola is trying to put the kaibosh on you.


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 11, 2015)

You know I've kiboshed before. And I will kibosh again


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

jont said:


> it's hard to have poise when crazy Joe Davola is trying to put the kaibosh on you.



Well, contrary to what Mrs. Landis at Doubleday would tell you....you could at least try to have a little grace.


----------



## jont (Aug 11, 2015)

excuse me, i have to go dig a hole in central park


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> You know I've kiboshed before. And I will kibosh again



You should perhaps get that checked out.  You should go to Tor Eckman, he'll fix you right up. He's a herbalist, a healer, amanda14. He's not just gonna fix the kiboshing, he is gonna change the whole way you function - body and mind.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

jont said:


> excuse me, i have to go dig a hole in central park



OK Fragile Frankie Merman.


----------



## jont (Aug 11, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> OK Fragile Frankie Merman.



the summer george

speaking of which  this was supposed to be the summer thread of jont......................the summer thread of jont


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 11, 2015)

I believe the two of you to be anti dentites.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> I believe the two of you to be anti dentites.



They should have their own schools.


----------



## dmharris (Aug 11, 2015)

Is there a therapist in the house?  Anyone??


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

dmharris said:


> Is there a therapist in the house?  Anyone??



Dana Foley or Dr. Reston??


----------



## raygo123 (Aug 11, 2015)

Dr Ray here or you could call me Jay or u can call me Ray Jay  or u can call Ray Jay johnsoon or u can call Dr Jay or u can call me Dr Ray Jay johnson or just Dr johnson

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## jont (Aug 11, 2015)

dmharris said:


> Is there a therapist in the house?  Anyone??



Insanity now.......Serenity later?????


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

jont said:


> Insanity now.......Serenity later?????



All right! But hear me and hear me well - The day will come. Oh yes, mark my words, jont - your day of reckoning is coming. When an evil wind will blow through your little playworld, and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching - watching as it all comes crumbling down.


----------



## jont (Aug 11, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> All right! But hear me and hear me well - The day will come. Oh yes, mark my words, jont - your day of reckoning is coming. When an evil wind will blow through your little playworld, and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching - watching as it all comes crumbling down.



if judge Vandelay doesn't put a stop to this, it could last for months!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

jont said:


> if judge Vandelay doesn't put a stop to this, it could last for months!



I do not know how, or under what circumstances the two of us found each other, but our callous indifference and utter disregard for everything that is good and decent has rocked the very foundation upon which TUG is built. I can think of nothing more fitting than for the two of us to spend a year removed from this thread so that we can contemplate the manner in which we have conducted ourselves.


----------



## jont (Aug 11, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I do not know how, or under what circumstances the two of us found each other, but our callous indifference and utter disregard for everything that is good and decent has rocked the very foundation upon which TUG is built. I can think of nothing more fitting than for the two of us to spend a year removed from this thread so that we can contemplate the manner in which we have conducted ourselves.



I know SueDonJ will


----------



## GregT (Aug 11, 2015)

Last night I dreamt I went to Maui Ocean Club again.  It seemed to me I stood by the entrance leading to the drive, and for a while I could not enter, for the No Entry sign barred me. There was a sign and a note upon the ground.  I called in my dream to the bell hop, and had no answer, and peering closer over the rusted No Entry sign, I saw that the property was uninhabited.

No smoke came from the barbecue grills, and the curtains in the windows gaped forlorn.  Then, like all dreamers, I was possessed of a sudden with supernatural powers and my Legacy Points were morphed.  The entry wound away in front of me, twisting and turning as it had always done, but as I advanced I was aware that a change had come upon it.   The points had odd expiration dates and they were skimmed.  At first I was puzzled and did not understand, and it was only when I bent my head to avoid an obstruction that I realized what had happened.   The economy had stunk in its own stealthy, insidious way, encroaching upon the system that I understood with long tenacious fingers.   The property grounds, typically beautiful in their own right, had become overgrown and untended.  They crowded, dark and uncontrolled, to the borders of the drive. 

And I knew.  I turned to look at the setting sun.  And I cried out to the world “As God as my witness.  As God as my witness they're not going to lick me.  I'm going to live through this and if I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill as God as my witness, I'll never buy retail again."


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 11, 2015)

GregT said:


> Last night I dreamt I went to Maui Ocean Club again.  It seemed to me I stood by the entrance leading to the drive, and for a while I could not enter, for the No Entry sign barred me. There was a sign and a note upon the ground.  I called in my dream to the bell hop, and had no answer, and peering closer over the rusted No Entry sign, I saw that the property was uninhabited.
> 
> No smoke came from the barbecue grills, and the curtains in the windows gaped forlorn.  Then, like all dreamers, I was possessed of a sudden with supernatural powers and my Legacy Points were morphed.  The entry wound away in front of me, twisting and turning as it had always done, but as I advanced I was aware that a change had come upon it.   The points had odd expiration dates and they were skimmed.  At first I was puzzled and did not understand, and it was only when I bent my head to avoid an obstruction that I realized what had happened.   The economy had stunk in its own stealthy, insidious way, encroaching upon the system that I understood with long tenacious fingers.   The property grounds, typically beautiful in their own right, had become overgrown and untended.  They crowded, dark and uncontrolled, to the borders of the drive.
> 
> And I knew.  I turned to look at the setting sun.  And I cried out to the world “As God as my witness.  As God as my witness they're not going to lick me.  I'm going to live through this and if I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill as God as my witness, I'll never buy retail again."



Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little logo, the one that says "Marriott Vacation Club"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. 

Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about?

Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without the Destinations Club, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, listening to a points pitch right now in a sales presentation with his parents at a Vacation Club resort and hearing about supermorphing his parents Legacy points and the new status tiers?  Doesn't HE deserve better? 

Look. If you think this is about maximizing your trades in II, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to buy DC points without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, GregT; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. 

Y'got 10 days to rescind your Trust points purchase, GregT.  That is one week and three days!


----------



## jont (Aug 11, 2015)

In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as tug addicted timeshare junkie and Seinfeld nerd.Thank you. 

 Oh, also.. I bought my first time from the developer and financed it through them.


----------



## SueDonJ (Aug 11, 2015)

jont said:


> I know SueDonJ will



Not me, I'm enjoying this!  Finally proof that some of you are more whacked than I ever could be.  

(If anybody who is not enjoying this trip down Seinfeld Lane would like their posts moved from this thread, please don't hesitate to ask.   )


----------



## jont (Aug 12, 2015)

Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at the TUG Forum. It became very clear to me sitting at my keyboard today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire timeshare life, has been wrong. My vacations are the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of  part of vacation planning, be it choosing a timeshare, getting reservations, posting on TUG ... It's all been wrong.


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 12, 2015)

The cat - mrrreeeooowww - is out of the bag!


----------



## jont (Aug 12, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> The cat - mrrreeeooowww - is out of the bag!



Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! lah..lah...la


----------



## raygo123 (Aug 12, 2015)

You still have hope I personally like to have one year old choose for me   what ever page is torn out first, away we go.  

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## Fasttr (Aug 12, 2015)

...a little too much chlorine in that gene pool


----------



## jont (Aug 12, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> ...a little too much chlorine in that gene pool



ok, now you're just being difficult. this one is going on your chart.
click click


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 12, 2015)

jont said:


> ok, now you're just being difficult. this one is going on your chart.
> click click



OK Doc....you're so smart....what is my disease?

The haunting memories of lost love.  Our eyes met across the crowded hat store. I, a customer, and she a coquettish haberdasher.  Oh, I pursued and she withdrew, then she pursued and I withdrew, and so we danced. I burned for her, much like the burning during urination that I would experience soon afterwards.


----------



## GregT (Aug 12, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little logo, the one that says "Marriott Vacation Club"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.
> 
> Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about?
> 
> ...



Man is not much beside the great birds and beasts. Still I would rather be that vacationer lounging by the pool.  “Unless Closers come,” he said aloud. “If Closers come, God pity him and me.” 

Do you believe the great DiMaggio would stay with a Closer as long as I will stay with this one? he thought.   I am sure he would and more since he is young and strong. Also his father owned timeshares.  But would the maintenance fees hurt him too much? “I do not know,” he said aloud. “I never had a maintenance fee.” 

As the sun set and the Closer droned on he remembered, to give himself more confidence, the Grande Vista Getaway when he had played the game with the great sales staff from Orlando who were #1 in the Marriott system. They had gone one day and one night with their elbows on the table and their forearms straight up and their positions tight. Each one was trying to force the other to sign the contract, to decide whether a purchase would happen, and whether or not legacy points were supercharged.  

There was much betting and people went in and out of the room under the bright lights and he had looked at the hands of the Closer and at the Closer’s face. The odds would change back and forth all night and they fed the Closer rum and lighted cigarettes for him.  Then the Closer, after the rum, would try for a tremendous effort and claim that Marriott would repurchase the points at their original purchase price but the old man had raised his hand up to stop the Closer from speaking.  

He was sure then that he had the Closer, who was a fine man and a great salesman, beaten. And at daylight when the bettors were asking that it be called a draw and the sales manager was shaking his head, he had unleashed his effort and forced the hand of the Closer down onto the contract.  Points could not be supercharged.  There was no repurchase option.  The match had started on a Sunday morning and ended on a Monday morning.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 12, 2015)

GregT said:


> Man is not much beside the great birds and beasts. Still I would rather be that vacationer lounging by the pool.  “Unless Closers come,” he said aloud. “If Closers come, God pity him and me.”
> 
> Do you believe the great DiMaggio would stay with a Closer as long as I will stay with this one? he thought.   I am sure he would and more since he is young and strong. Also his father owned timeshares.  But would the maintenance fees hurt him too much? “I do not know,” he said aloud. “I never had a maintenance fee.”
> 
> ...



You certainly must love the classics old man!!


----------



## GregT (Aug 12, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You certainly must love the classics old man!!



I do -- and I love Seinfeld too, but you guys are the experts!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 12, 2015)

GregT said:


> I do -- and I love Seinfeld too, but you guys are the experts!



The prophet Isaiah tells us without friends our lives are empty and meaningless.  A young lady I know, let's call her Elaine, happened to find herself overwhelmed with feelings of resentment and hostility for her friend, let's call him George.  She felt that George was somewhat of a loser because he had purchased from the developer and that she was the one who deserved to own a week, but she would only buy resale.  She also happened to mention to me that her friend had wondered if going to a sales presentation by yourself while you're engaged is considered cheating on MVC.  His feeling was they're never going to see each other again so what's the difference.  But that is a subject for another sermon. Now, I'd like to close with a psalm.


----------



## raygo123 (Aug 12, 2015)

That deserves a round of applause. Clap clap clap!


Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## jont (Aug 13, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You certainly must love the classics old man!!



I like to read the Daily News.  and do the Jumble!


----------



## jont (Aug 13, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> OK Doc....you're so smart....what is my disease?
> 
> The haunting memories of lost love.  Our eyes met across the crowded hat store. I, a customer, and she a coquettish haberdasher.  Oh, I pursued and she withdrew, then she pursued and I withdrew, and so we danced. I burned for her, much like the burning during urination that I would experience soon afterwards.



Uromisitosis


----------



## dmharris (Aug 13, 2015)

We just got notice that the building is closing Friday at 5:00!


----------



## jont (Aug 13, 2015)

Being that I always wanted to pretend to be an architect, I've come up with a new concept for timeshare units.  I see a minimalist look with the units by eliminating most furniture and creating levels.......just levels! We can then cover all the walls with wood grained contact paper so that it would look like a ski lodge. After all...wood is good.   As far as furniture, it would be crazy not to have any furniture, I see a large Farbman chest of drawers, which could double as sleeping bays for some of the smaller guests and of course you need a coffee table. I suggest using recycled car windshields, which would be visually unobtrusive.  In the shower, of course we would add the Commando 450 shower head. And who wouldn't love a garbage disposal in their shower so you can do some food prep and not waste valuable vacation time? Finally, to top it all off, I suggest adding a non-code compliant hot tub with special butter enriched water. 
giddy-up


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 13, 2015)

jont said:


> Being that I always wanted to pretend to be an architect, I've come up with a new concept for timeshare units.  I see a minimalist look with the units by eliminating most furniture and creating levels.......just levels! We can then cover all the walls with wood grained contact paper so that it would look like a ski lodge. After all...wood is good.   As far as furniture, it would be crazy not to have any furniture, I see a large Farbman chest of drawers, which could double as sleeping bays for some of the smaller guests and of course you need a coffee table. I suggest using recycled car windshields, which would be visually unobtrusive.  In the shower, of course we would add the Commando 450 shower head. And who wouldn't love a garbage disposal in their shower so you can do some food prep and not waste valuable vacation time? Finally, to top it all off, I suggest adding a non-code compliant hot tub with special butter enriched water.
> giddy-up



That is kind of like a show about nothing.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 13, 2015)

jont said:


> Uromisitosis



Do you think I enjoy living like this?...the shame, the humiliation...You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning.


----------



## jont (Aug 14, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Do you think I enjoy living like this?...the shame, the humiliation...You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning.



OK, enough of the pee party talk!


----------



## jont (Aug 14, 2015)

Hey Fasttr, I hear you're down at Del Boca Ocean Pointe.

You think you could keep me out of Florida? I'm going back, lock, stock

and barrel. I'm gonna be in the pool. I'm gonna be at the beach. 

I'm gonna be all over that mini golf course! And I dare you to keep me out!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 14, 2015)

jont said:


> Hey Fasttr, I hear you're down at Del Boca Ocean Pointe.
> 
> You think you could keep me out of Florida? I'm going back, lock, stock
> 
> ...



Yes I am.  

After reading the timeshare newspaper, the Boca Breeze, first thing this morning,  I headed to the pool and I thought I saw you there, but it ended up being Jack Klompus.

Ate lunch at the poolside restaurant.  I used my Wizard tip calculator to calculate the 12.4% tip.  I rounded down.   

Taking SCUBA lessons tomorrow.  I hope my capillaries don't burst.


----------



## jont (Aug 14, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Yes I am.
> 
> I headed to the pool and I thought I saw you there, but it ended up being Jack Klompus.



You're not the first person to say that! 

give my best to Mrs. Chote and Evelyn


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 14, 2015)

I'm thinking a Chinese restaurant for dinner tomorrow.  I hope the wait is not long.

Fasttr, 4?


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 14, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I'm thinking a Chinese restaurant for dinner tomorrow.  I hope the wait is not long.
> 
> Fasttr, 4?



Cartright??????????????????????????


----------



## jont (Aug 15, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I'm thinking a Chinese restaurant for dinner tomorrow.  I hope the wait is not long.
> 
> Fasttr, 4?



I hear Alton Benes will be joining you


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 15, 2015)

jont said:


> I hear Alton Benes will be joining you



I hope it doesn't snow....I'm wearing my new jacket.

Master of the house, doling out the charm....


----------



## GregT (Aug 15, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Master of the house, doling out the charm....



Ready with a handshake and an open palm?


----------



## jont (Aug 15, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> After reading the timeshare newspaper, the Boca Breeze,



stinko Marriott rag!


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 15, 2015)

jont said:


> stinko Marriott rag!



Jack Klompus is the editor so I'm not sure why you would say such a thing.  All of his columns are upside down.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 15, 2015)

I love the beds at the MVC resorts...very comfy...BUT.....I asked housekeeping to not tuck the blankets in? 'Cause I can't sleep all tucked in.  Yes, I like to just be able to take the blankets and swish them and  swirl them, you know what I mean? You know, I don't like being all tucked in.  I like to have a lot of room, you know I like to have my toes pointed up in the air. Just like to scrunch up the blankets.

My wife prefers the blankets tucked it.

That's one tuck...and one no-tuck.

.


----------



## jont (Aug 16, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I love the beds at the MVC resorts...very comfy...BUT.....I asked housekeeping to not tuck the blankets in? 'Cause I can't sleep all tucked in.  Yes, I like to just be able to take the blankets and swish them and  swirl them, you know what I mean? You know, I don't like being all tucked in.  I like to have a lot of room, you know I like to have my toes pointed up in the air. Just like to scrunch up the blankets.
> 
> My wife prefer the blankets tucked it.
> 
> That's one tuck...and one no-tuck.



ask for Lupe. only problem is she may throw out your notes for your forum posts


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 16, 2015)

jont said:


> ask for Lupe. only problem is she may throw out your notes for your forum posts



6:50am.  Four....one....niner.

I just tried to place a wake up call for tomorrow morning, but I think I insulted the wake up guy.  I think he's got it in for me.  What if he doesn't call out of spite.


----------



## jont (Aug 16, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> 6:50am.  Four....one....niner.
> 
> I just tried to place a wake up call for tomorrow morning, but I think I insulted the wake up guy.  I think he's got it in for me.  What if he doesn't call out of spite.



dat is his job mon!

go sit in da hot tub. have a good soak.....a great soak!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 16, 2015)

jont said:


> dat is his job mon!
> 
> go sit in da hot tub. have a good soak.....a great soak!



You are mama's little bastard, aren't you?


----------



## jont (Aug 16, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You are mama's little bastard, aren't you?



ya got to see the baaaaaaabbbbbbby!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 16, 2015)

Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 16, 2015)

jont said:


> ya got to see the baaaaaaabbbbbbby!



Maybe the dingo ate your baby.


----------



## jont (Aug 17, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.



are we already into re-runs for this thread?


are you a re-poster???????


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 17, 2015)

jont said:


> are we already into re-runs for this thread?
> 
> 
> are you a re-poster???????



Haven't we had this conversation before?


----------



## jont (Aug 17, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Haven't we had this conversation before?



They're gonna take you away to a nice place where you can 
get some help. They're very friendly people there. My brother-in-law was there 
for a couple of weeks. The man was obsessed with lactating women. They 
completely cured him, although he still eats a lot of cheese.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 17, 2015)

jont said:


> They're gonna take you away to a nice place where you can
> get some help. They're very friendly people there. My brother-in-law was there
> for a couple of weeks. The man was obsessed with lactating women. They
> completely cured him, although he still eats a lot of cheese.



You're starting to sound like the guy with the funny face that greets you at the beginning of the Super Terrific Happy Hour.


----------



## jont (Aug 17, 2015)

Fasttr: Lately, though, I've been, uh, - I've been buying the generic brand of waxed beans. you know.

I rip off the label. I can hardly tell the difference.

Jont: Well, we've officially bottomed out. What's our next post?

Fasttr: We've got nothing!

Jont: We need a new thread. We should shut down and re-post.


----------



## vail (Aug 17, 2015)

I love caaashmeeeere.........


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 17, 2015)

Jont. See, here, you're just another apple, but in  Japan, you're an exotic fruit. Like an orange. Which is rare there.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 17, 2015)

vail said:


> I love caaashmeeeere.........



When I was a little girl in Panama, a rich American came to our town and he was wearing the softest most beautiful sweater. I said to him, "what do you call this most beautiful fabric?", and he said "they call it cashmere". I repeated the words "cashmere, cashmere". I asked if I could have it, and he said "No. Get away from me." Then he started walk away. But I grabbed onto his leg screaming for him to give me the sweater and he dragged me through the street. And then he kicked at me with the other foot and threw some change at me. Oh, but I didn't want the change Jontie. I wanted the cashmere.


----------



## silentg (Aug 17, 2015)

What's this red dot?


----------



## jont (Aug 18, 2015)

silentg said:


> What's this red dot?



That is damn good scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff. Mmmmm, boy that Hennigans goes down smooth. And afterwards you don't even smell. That's right folks. I just had three shots of Hennigans and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigans, the no-smell, no-tell scotch.

Thank God for Hennigans!


----------



## jont (Aug 18, 2015)

Say you got a big Marriott presentation, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret. 
h-e-double n........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 18, 2015)

jont said:


> That is damn good scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff. Mmmmm, boy that Hennigans goes down smooth. And afterwards you don't even smell. That's right folks. I just had three shots of Hennigans and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigans, the no-smell, no-tell scotch.
> 
> Thank God for Hennigans!



You are such a boozer...

I bet you smell like the locker room after that game against Erasmus 

What's next, going around giving boys wedgies.

Can't stand ya.... Can't stand ya


----------



## jont (Aug 18, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You are such a boozer...
> 
> I bet you smell like the locker room after that game against Erasmus
> 
> ...



Hey! I'm off the wagon!.......or is it on the wagon?

Just keep Mrs. Ross and her flask away from me!


----------



## jont (Aug 18, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Jont. See, here, you're just another apple, but in  Japan, you're an exotic fruit. Like an orange. Which is rare there.



I'm sorry. I'm sure Mr Fasttr is very
funny to TUG fans, but I'm not sure this timeshare thread would work in Japan.

You must go now!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 18, 2015)

jont said:


> I'm sorry. I'm sure Mr Fasttr is very
> funny to TUG fans, but I'm not sure this timeshare thread would work in Japan.
> 
> You must go now!



Jont, I was looking at your avatar picture....

See now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.

The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land.


----------



## jont (Aug 18, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Jont, I was looking at your avatar picture....
> 
> See now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.
> 
> The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land.



as long as i'm ensconced in velvet, the buttons can be anywhere.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 18, 2015)

jont said:


> as long as i'm ensconced in velvet, the buttons can be anywhere.



Speaking of buttons....I was at the zoo today and I stopped to look at the monkeys, when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. I turn and look and there is this monkey really laughing it up. Then someone tells me that he did it. Well, I pick up the banana peel and I wait for that monkey to turn around. And then I *whap* let him have it.  He pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jont.


----------



## jont (Aug 18, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Speaking of buttons....I was at the zoo today and I stopped to look at the monkeys, when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. I turn and look and there is this monkey really laughing it up. Then someone tells me that he did it. Well, I pick up the banana peel and I wait for that monkey to turn around. And then I *whap* let him have it.  He pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jont.



He's a helpless primate.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 18, 2015)

jont said:


> He's a helpless primate.



El Diablo! Dios mio! El Diablo!!


----------



## jont (Aug 18, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> El Diablo! Dios mio! El Diablo!!



thats one big matzo ball hanging out there georgie boy!


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 19, 2015)

With this thread I feel I am at 1st and 1st.  The nexus of the universe.


----------



## raygo123 (Aug 19, 2015)

No 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


----------



## jont (Aug 19, 2015)

Fasttr, you wanna hear something? Your cousin, Jeffrey, is switching resorts. Marriott is transferring him to Monarch - so he'll completely revamp that
operation, you understand? He'll do in Monarch what he did in Grande Ocean. It's more money. So, that's your cousin.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 19, 2015)

jont said:


> Fasttr, you wanna hear something? Your cousin, Jeffrey, is switching resorts. Marriott is transferring him to Monarch - so he'll completely revamp that operation, you understand? He'll do in Monarch what he did in Grande Ocean. It's more money. So, that's your cousin.



What happened to your eyebrows?


----------



## jont (Aug 19, 2015)

That reminds me, I'm not getting you guys any more fruit. That guy was eyeballing me the whole time. He gave me the creeps.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 19, 2015)

jont said:


> That reminds me, I'm not getting you guys any more fruit. That guy was eyeballing me the whole time. He gave me the creeps.



I can’t eat fruit. It makes me incontinent.

I could go for a Drake's coffee cake though.


----------



## jont (Aug 19, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I can’t eat fruit. It makes me incontinent.
> 
> I could go for a Drake's coffee cake though.



sorry, I only have Junior Mints!

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's

peppermint-- it's delicious!

 It's very refreshing!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 19, 2015)

jont said:


> sorry, I only have Junior Mints!
> 
> Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's
> 
> ...



They sound great....can I buy them off of you.  I've got a ten kroner, a five kroner, a twenty kroner. A fifty kroner? How much is that?


----------



## vail (Aug 19, 2015)

She's a low talker....


----------



## jont (Aug 19, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> They sound great....can I buy them off of you.  I've got a ten kroner, a five kroner, a twenty kroner. A fifty kroner? How much is that?



Your paying in pennies? No . You have to have bills . Paper money . You can't pay with this.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 19, 2015)

jont said:


> Your paying in pennies? No . You have to have bills . Paper money . You can't pay with this.



Calzones from Pisano's.  That's the ticket.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 19, 2015)

vail said:


> She's a low talker....



That's better than having man hands.


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 20, 2015)

Those meaty paws.  I feel like I am dating George the Animal Steel.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 20, 2015)

I had been swimming in the Cobia pool at Ocean Pointe for three hours and I was in a real grove so I decided to keep going. But at ten they start the aqua aerobics... Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows.  It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine.


----------



## jont (Aug 21, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I had been swimming in the Cobia pool at Ocean Pointe for three hours and I was in a real grove so I decided to keep going. But at ten they start the aqua aerobics... Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows.  It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine.



Ramon the pool boy should be able to help you out. also, watch out for portly mailmen. I hear they like to do cannonballs on unsuspecting swimmers.


----------



## vail (Aug 21, 2015)

I am going to play golf at Westchester Country Club.
The pro likes the cuban cigars....


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

vail said:


> I am going to play golf at Westchester Country Club.
> The pro likes the cuban cigars....



But do the Cuban's know their way around a crepe like the Dominican's do?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

jont said:


> Ramon the pool boy should be able to help you out. also, watch out for portly mailmen. I hear they like to do cannonballs on unsuspecting swimmers.



Olly, olly, oxen, free!


----------



## jont (Aug 21, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> Those meaty paws.  I feel like I am dating George the Animal Steel.



I don't get this Scissorhands. What, is he supposed to be like a super hero, like Green Lantern or somebody? What's with this guy?  Just asking.


----------



## jont (Aug 21, 2015)

So, Fasttr. You're proposing a snow tire day at Ocean Pointe?
I have to say this, this proposal doesn't make a whole lot
of sense. 

Fasttr: Long as they don't throw 'em in the pool. Help yourself to some shrimp, I brought enough for everybody.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

jont said:


> So, Fasttr. You're proposing a snow tire day at Ocean Pointe?
> I have to say this, this proposal doesn't make a whole lot
> of sense.
> 
> Fasttr: Long as they don't throw 'em in the pool. Help yourself to some shrimp, I brought enough for everybody.



'Oh yeah? Well, the jerk  store called, and they're running outta you.'

.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

Yah, yah! You see in _Little Jont _the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jont is a has-been, don't make _Little Jont _a never-was!

You hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will! Yah-yah!


----------



## jont (Aug 21, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Yah, yah! You see in _Little Jont _the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jont is a has-been, don't make _Little Jont _a never-was!
> 
> You hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will! Yah-yah!



Tamale!!!!!!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 21, 2015)

Mr Fasttr, let me tell you a story. In nineteen-ninety-nine I ticketed a
brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a Marriott registration only zone. That fine was never paid, and since then that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in Marriott history. For sixteen years I pursued him, only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I never got a clean look at his face, but he's become my 'white whale'. Mr Fasttr, that day was yesterday! But thanks to you, I don't know if I'll ever get that chance again!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

When I was late for my dinner ressie at Rocco's Tacos on PGA Boulevard, I got pulled over for speeding.  I told the officer "Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

jont said:


> Mr Fasttr, let me tell you a story. In nineteen-ninety-nine I ticketed a
> brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a Marriott registration only zone. That fine was never paid, and since then that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in Marriott history. For sixteen years I pursued him, only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I never got a clean look at his face, but he's become my 'white whale'. Mr Fasttr, that day was yesterday! But thanks to you, I don't know if I'll ever get that chance again!



I like that eye patch.


----------



## jont (Aug 21, 2015)

vail said:


> I am going to play golf at Westchester Country Club.
> The pro likes the cuban cigars....



You're close, you're on the green. You just have to go for the
cup.


----------



## jont (Aug 21, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> When I was late for my dinner ressie at Rocco's Tacos on PGA Boulevard, I got pulled over for speeding.  I told the officer "Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."



No, I don't think you're being helpful! I think you're being disruptive, and you make it very difficult for your friend here to improve his life!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

When I was at my sales presentation at Ocean Pointe, the salesman was telling me a story of how the first every-other-year weeks came into being.  

Apparently, back in the day, there came a time when there was only one prime week left to sell at Ocean Pointe.  Two salesmen had done their usual  highly professional job at making each of their prospective customers see the value in a developer purchase and each customer enthusiastically signed a purchase agreement for that one remaining week... after all, they were told stories of being able to book any week they wanted and there was no need to book far in advance, and of course at check in, they could request and be granted the best of views from the highest of floors...and so both customers, not wanting to miss the greatest of opportunities, affixed their signatures to the purchase contract at the very same time.  When it became evident both were signed at the same time and both customers really wanted the week because of the additional benefits and incentives provided to them by the generous developer, the Closer came in to make the final decision as to who would get the week.  After listenting to the arguments of both customers as to why _they_ should get the week....the Closer's pontification in arriving at a decision went something like this.....

_*We'll, you've both presented very convincing arguments. On the one hand, amanda14, your promise was given in haste. But was it not still a promise? Hmm?  

And, Jont, you did agree to an enjoyable week in exchange for compensation. But, does the fee, once paid, actually entitle the buyer to some assurance of an enjoyable vacation? Hmm? Huh? Ahh. 

These were not easy questions to answer. 

Not for any man...

But I have made a decision. We will cut the week down the middle, and give half to each of you.*_

And thus was born the EOY week.  
.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

The same salesperson was trying to explain how super-morphed Legacy points work, and how they grow magical powers if a Legacy owner were to purchase even the smallest number of Trust points.  

After listening to his mumbo jumbo, I broke in with..... 

Where are you living? Are you here? Are you on this planet? It's impossible. It can't be done.  Since June of 2010, people have been trying to have their cake and eat it too.  So all of a sudden Marriott Vacation Club is going to come along and do it. Where do you get the ego?  No one can do it.  It can't be done.

To which he said.... I think we've worked out a system.

To which I replied.... Oh, you know what you're like? You're like a pathetic gambler. You're one of those losers in Las Vegas who keeps thinking he's gonna come up with a way to win at blackjack.

To which he said.... No, this is very advanced. We've designed at set of rules that we can maintain the Legacy-Trust relationship by advancing all of the relationship pitfalls.

What he said that followed made a lot of sense....and then he got greedy!!!
.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 21, 2015)

At the end of the sales presentation I needed to come up with something to say so I could end it, collect my award and get the heck out of there, so I said, "Listen, I am not interested in purchasing any Trust points" and then the next thing I know, I'm in the middle of an elaborate excuse.  And there's this voice inside of me going: "You're doing it! You're doing it!" And then my sales rep started to cry, and I weakened a bit. I almost relented, but the voice, Jont, the voice said "Keep going, keep going. You're almost out!" It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get though the crying and I keep running for the door. Then the cursing started. He's firing at me from the guard tower: "Son of a bang! Son of a boom!" I get to the top of the wall - the front door.  I opened it up, I'm one foot away,  I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!

And ten minutes later I was poolside with my award in hand.
.


----------



## jont (Aug 22, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> The same salesperson was trying to explain how super-morphed Legacy points work, and how they grow magical powers if a Legacy owner were to purchase even the smallest number of Trust points.
> 
> After listening to his mumbo jumbo, I broke in with.....
> 
> ...




No everything is not going good. I'm very uncomfortable. I have

no power. I mean, why should  the sales person have the upper hand. Once in

my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand-- no hand at

all. They have the hand; I have no hand. how do I get hand?


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 22, 2015)

I've got so much hand, it's coming out of my glove.  That's what I usually start TS presentations with.


----------



## jont (Aug 22, 2015)

amanda14 said:


> I've got so much hand, it's coming out of my glove.  That's what I usually start TS presentations with.



and you're going to need it!


----------



## jont (Aug 22, 2015)

i remember when I had to recind a purchase of some developer trust points, it was kind of like an intervention. they came over and said " what? you dont want to be a trust point owner no more? they're not good enough for you? At that point I offered them a pez candy and then went for a swim with my Polar Bear buddies.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 22, 2015)

jont said:


> i remember when I had to recind a purchase of some developer trust points, it was kind of like an intervention. they came over and said " what? you dont want to be a trust point owner no more? they're not good enough for you? At that point I offered them a pez candy and then went for a swim with my Polar Bear buddies.



Anyone who would rescind a Trust points purchase is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean only a sick twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.


----------



## jont (Aug 22, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Anyone who would rescind a Trust points purchase is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean only a sick twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.



Just, can we just forget the whole thing ever happend? I'm sorry. I din't mean it. I took it out on you. We're still friends. We're still friends. Still friends.

Okay? Look, I'll tell you what. I've got an Ocean Watch ressie next week. Great villa, ocean front. You want it? take it! come on!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 22, 2015)

jont said:


> Just, can we just forget the whole thing ever happend? I'm sorry. I din't mean it. I took it out on you. We're still friends. We're still friends. Still friends.
> 
> Okay? Look, I'll tell you what. I've got an Ocean Watch ressie next week. Great villa, ocean front. You want it? take it! come on!



I would prefer if you donated it to my favorite charity....the Human Fund.


----------



## jont (Aug 22, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I would prefer if you donated it to my favorite charity....the Human Fund.



 "hey dude, you better step off"


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 22, 2015)

jont said:


> "hey dude, you better step off"



You sound just like my friend....he is an importer/exporter.


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You sound just like my friend....he is an importer/exporter.


is he the one that wants to only concentrate on importing trust points and ignore the exporting of legacy weeks?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> is he the one that wants to only concentrate on importing trust points and ignore the exporting of legacy weeks?



I'm not sure, but I do know that he really likes Marisa Tomei.


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

During our last stay at a Mariott we noticed the maid forgot to leave bathroom tissues in our unit so I called  the front desk and this was their response

"no we don't have a square to spare, We can't spare a square".


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> During our last stay at a Mariott we noticed the maid forgot to leave bathroom tissues in our unit so I called  the front desk and this was their response
> 
> "no we don't have a square to spare, We can't spare a square".



I would have replied....

Oh is it two-ply? Cause if it's two-ply I'll take one ply, one ply, one, one puny little ply, I'll take one measly ply


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I would have replied....
> 
> Oh is it two-ply? Cause if it's two-ply I'll take one ply, one ply, one, one puny little ply, I'll take one measly ply



I wish i was more like you Fasttr. Your're a cool guy. it's a different world when you're the cool guy, your're not afraid of anybody. I hear the way yout talk to waitresses.. you get free pie!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> I wish i was more like you Fasttr. Your're a cool guy. it's a different world when you're the cool guy, your're not afraid of anybody. I hear the way yout talk to waitresses.. you get free pie!



You're a shmoopy!


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You're a shmoopy!



 All right. Shh! I gotta focus. I'm shifting into soup mode.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> All right. Shh! I gotta focus. I'm shifting into soup mode.



Um..you know what? Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, " Scent Of A Woman."  Who-ah! Who-ah!


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Um..you know what? Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, " Scent Of A Woman."  Who-ah! Who-ah!



You have some kind of problem here? What is it you not understanding?

We taking the lounge chairs and that's all there is to it. Okay?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> You have some kind of problem here? What is it you not understanding?
> 
> We taking the lounge chairs and that's all there is to it. Okay?



Hey....you sound just like the guy who wanted to make me wear an aids walk ribbon.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

As I was walking around on the pool deck at Ocean Pointe a week ago, I was feeling a bit over-stuffed from all of the great meals I had eaten that week.  I couldn't help but think.... I wish there were pigmen. You get a few of these pigmen walking around I'm looking a whole lot better. Then if somebody looks at me while I am wearing my swim suit, at least they could say, "Hey he's no pig-man!"




.


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Hey....you sound just like the guy who wanted to make me wear an aids walk ribbon.



you gotta watch for those street toughs! they can be very frightening when they talk to you. at least they have s good sense of style


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> As I was walking around on the pool deck at Ocean Pointe a week ago, I was feeling a bit over-stuffed from all of the great meals I had eaten that week.  I couldn't help but think.... I wish there were pigmen. You get a few of these pigmen walking around I'm looking a whole lot better. Then if somebody looks at me while I am wearing my swim suit, at least they could say, "Hey he's no pig-man!"
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Believe me, there'd be plenty of women going for the pig-men. No

matter what the deformity you'll find some group of perverts

attracted to it. "Oo that little tail turns me on."


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

hey Fasttr, you don't happen to know where I could find a good mohel, do you?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> Believe me, there'd be plenty of women going for the pig-men. No
> 
> matter what the deformity you'll find some group of perverts
> 
> attracted to it. "Oo that little tail turns me on."



That's fascinating, could you do me a favor, could you start a pigmen and the women who love them thread and I'll read more next time I sign on to TUG.

By the way, my neighbor thinks that pigman are alive. He thinks the government's been experimenting with pigmen since the fifties.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> hey Fasttr, you don't happen to know where I could find a good mohel, do you?



Oh, poor jont. Look at you. Attended the finest finishing schools on the Eastern seaboard. Equestrian competitions. Debutante balls. Well, look at you now. Interviewing Mohels


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

now for something completely different: 
Earlier today I was hanging out at home eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery while watching the Yankee game. The camera cut to behind the yankee dugout where there was a woman wearing a Baltimore hat making some kind of commotion. suddenly a foul ball came flying in at some hipster doofus, he looked a little like Fasttr, and beaned him on the head, causing him to tumble into the dugout. i wonder if they will have a picture in tomorrow's newspaper of this incident?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> now for something completely different:
> Earlier today I was hanging out at home eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery while watching the Yankee game. The camera cut to behind the yankee dugout where there was a woman wearing a Baltimore hat making some kind of commotion. suddenly a foul ball came flying in at some hipster doofus, he looked a little like Fasttr, and beaned him on the head, causing him to tumble into the dugout. i wonder if they will have a picture in tomorrow's newspaper of this incident?



That's oddly coincidental, because I was watching the TV coverage today of the  Connecticut Open from the Yale tennis center and before one of the cutaways to a commercial, they zoomed in on a short balding guy, he looked a little like jont, he was at the snack bar eating a hot fudge sundae. He had it all over his face. He was wearing that chocolate on his face like a beard and they got in there real nice and tight.

.


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Eh, listen Fasttr, I got a message from Dr. Van Nostrand and he says it might be wise to you to see another doctor about that mole.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

In another thread, I was commenting on all the great activities at Ocean Pointe.  One thing I saw there that I haven't seen at any of the other MVC resorts, was the ability to check out one of those paddles with the ball and the rubber band.  You know, my friend Bob Sacamano made a fortune off of those. See he came up with the idea for the rubber band. Before that, people would just hit the ball, and it would fly away.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> Eh, listen Fasttr, I got a message from Dr. Van Nostrand and he says it might be wise to you to see another doctor about that mole.



No worries, I have a picture taken 10 years ago. That mole looks exactly as it does today. So, there's no cause for concern, eh?  

Actually, funny thing about that photo. We were at the Grande Ocean beach and there was this dumb looking guy near by (he looked a lot like jont). When he went in for a swim, my sons and I took all his stuff and threw it in the ocean! What a pear shaped loser.


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr, you see where that glass is?

How that glass is near the edge of the table. You got the whole

table there to put the glass, why you chose the absolute edge, so

half the glass is hanging off the table, you breath and that

glass falls over, then you're gonna have broken glass on the

carpet, embedded in the carpet fibers, deep, deep in the shag,

broken glass, bits of broken glass that you never get out. you

can't get it out with a vacuum cleaner. Even on your hands and

knees with a magnifying glass, you can't get all the pieces, and

then you think you got it all and two years later, you're walkin'

barefoot and you step on a piece of broken glass and you kill

yourself, is that what you want? I don't think you want that, is

it? .. Do you?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> Fasttr, you see where that glass is?
> 
> How that glass is near the edge of the table. You got the whole
> 
> ...



One more peep out of you and I'll slice you up like a smoked sturgeon.


----------



## jont (Aug 23, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> That's oddly coincidental, because I was watching the TV coverage today of the  Connecticut Open from the Yale tennis center and before one of the cutaways to a commercial, they zoomed in on a short balding guy, he looked a little like jont, he was at the snack bar eating a hot fudge sundae. He had it all over his face. He was wearing that chocolate on his face like a beard and they got in there real nice and tight.
> 
> .



It's hard to understand. Because I've been doing everything I 
normally do. I've been watching my diet very carefully. I 
exercise regularly. My only indulgence, I guess, would be that 
I eat a lot of frozen yogurt. But it's non-fat.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

There's a clothing store on Worth avenue in West Palm.  They've got a mannequin in there that looks exactly like amanda14. It's uncanny! It's like they chopped off her arms and legs, dipped her in plastic, and screwed her back all together, and stuck her on a pedestal. It's really quite exquisite.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 23, 2015)

jont said:


> It's hard to understand. Because I've been doing everything I
> normally do. I've been watching my diet very carefully. I
> exercise regularly. My only indulgence, I guess, would be that
> I eat a lot of frozen yogurt. But it's non-fat.



Oh, my god. They got jont and he doesn't even know it.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Well it was a big salad. And what i would like to know is, how does fasttr, a person who has nothing to do with the big salad claim responsibility for that salad and accept the thank you under false pretenses - ah - ah?


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Mr. Fasttr, just about every week some brash young hothead like
yourself saunters in here talking about better trust points and snazzier bundle packages, well, fact is we feel things are fine the way they are.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> There's a clothing store on Worth avenue in West Palm.  They've got a mannequin in there that looks exactly like amanda14. It's uncanny! It's like they chopped off her arms and legs, dipped her in plastic, and screwed her back all together, and stuck her on a pedestal. It's really quite exquisite.



 Listen Natasha... I wouldn't be caught dead wearing your crummy  euro-trash rags.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

jont said:


> Well it was a big salad. And what i would like to know is, how does fasttr, a person who has nothing to do with the big salad claim responsibility for that salad and accept the thank you under false pretenses - ah - ah?



You could go to Reggie's and get 2 small salads.... and a Sanka.


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You could go to Reggie's and get 2 small salads.... and a Sanka.



It’s a salad, only bigger, with lots of stuff in it.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

jont said:


> Mr. Fasttr, just about every week some brash young hothead like
> yourself saunters in here talking about better trust points and snazzier bundle packages, well, fact is we feel things are fine the way they are.



Bosco to that I say!!!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

Where's Susie?   She is The Best.

I'm surprised Susie hasn't posted to this thread.  

I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Susie--ahhh. And most of all, I will never, forget that one night. Working late on the TUG board. Juuust the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation.  And it was Pretty Good.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Bosco to that I say!!!



 That's it. This is it. I'm done. Through. It's over. I'm gone.
Finished. Over. I will never post for you again. Look at you.
You think you're an important man? Is that what you think? You
are a laughingstock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at
you. You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing!  I quit!


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Where's Susie?   She is The Best.
> 
> I'm surprised Susie hasn't posted to this thread.
> 
> I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Susie--ahhh. And most of all, I will never, forget that one night. Working late on the TUG board. Juuust the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation.  And it was Pretty Good.



 You know, it's amazing Peterman hasn't fired that dolt.

She practically ran the company into the ground.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

jont said:


> That's it. This is it. I'm done. Through. It's over. I'm gone.
> Finished. Over. I will never post for you again. Look at you.
> You think you're an important man? Is that what you think? You
> are a laughingstock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at
> you. You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing!  I quit!



You can't win. You can't beat me. That's why I'm here and you're there. Because I'm a winner. I'll always be a winner and you'll always be a loser.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

Yes, I'm causing dissent. Stirring the pot. Getting people to question the whole rotten MVC system.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You can't win. You can't beat me. That's why I'm here and you're there. Because I'm a winner. I'll always be a winner and you'll always be a loser.



I'd like to welcome back into the fold our little
shrimpy friend, Fasttr who, although he didn't really have a
very good year -- how you blew that Ocean pointe thread, I'll never know. But,
hey, what the hell, huh? We've always enjoyed his antics around the
forum.Heh heh. Anything you wanna add to this?


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

jont said:


> I'd like to welcome back into the fold our little
> shrimpy friend, Fasttr who, although he didn't really have a
> very good year -- how you blew that Ocean pointe thread, I'll never know. But,
> hey, what the hell, huh? We've always enjoyed his antics around the
> forum.Heh heh. Anything you wanna add to this?



So, this morning I sign on to TUG to check your posts out. I figure by this time, the odor molecules have had at least twelve hours to de-smellify. I open this thread, like a punch in the face, the stench hits me-- it's almost as if the smelliness of your posts gained strength throughout the night...


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

Hey jont.  Did I hear that you signed up for a sales presentation already for your upcoming stay at Sunset Pointe?  

I'm telling you right now jont, this guy's gonna dangle that Trust points package in front of you like a dirt farmer dangles a carrot in front of a mule.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Hey jont.  Did I hear that you signed up for a sales presentation already for your upcoming stay at Sunset Pointe?
> 
> I'm telling you right now jont, this guy's gonna dangle that Trust points package in front of you like a dirt farmer dangles a carrot in front of a mule.



you tell them sums if Bi!che$ down in Hilton Head jont is never going to their presentations!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

jont said:


> you tell them sums if Bi!che$ down in Hilton Head jont is never going to their presentations!



jont! jont!, get a hold of yourself!


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> So, this morning I sign on to TUG to check your posts out. I figure by this time, the odor molecules have had at least twelve hours to de-smellify. I open this thread, like a punch in the face, the stench hits me-- it's almost as if the smelliness of your posts gained strength throughout the night...




OK amanda14, the first thing we're gonna do is flush the follicles with the
five essential oils. Then, we put you under a vapour machine,
and then a heated cap. Then, we shampoo and shampoo and
condition and condition. Then, we saturate the hair in diluted
vinegar-- two parts vinegar, 10 parts water. Now, if that
doesn't work, we have one last resort. Trust points!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

jont....I'll never forget the great story you tell about that one sales presentation you and amanda14 went on…the one where the Closer, Keith something, spit on you.  

As I recall, jont, you now hate the guy and amanda14 despises him.  As amanda14 tells it, something happened that changed you both in a deep and profound way from that day forward.

Unfortunately the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise of your account.  Allow me to reconstruct this if I may for my fellow TUGgers as I've heard this story a number of times.

According to your story the Closer passes you and starts walking out of your sales rep’s area after you said no to buying Trust points.  Then jont you say you were struck on the right temple.  As I recall, you yelled, "He spit on us".... and screamed out, "I'm hit!".  The spit then proceeds to ricochet off jont’s temple striking amanda14 between the third and fourth rib. The spit then came off the rib turned and hit amanda14 in the right wrist causing her to drop her Marriott Vacation Club cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses in mid-air mind you, makes a left turn and lands on amanda14’s left thigh. That is one magic luggie.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> jont....I'll never forget the great story you tell about that one sales presentation you and amanda14 went on…the one where the Closer, Keith something, spit on you.
> 
> As I recall, jont, you now hate the guy and amanda14 despises him.  As amanda14 tells it, something happened that changed you both in a deep and profound way from that day forward.
> 
> ...



nice post pretty boy!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

jont said:


> nice post pretty boy!



 my favorite so far!!!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 24, 2015)

Hey ! You want to go see "The Velvet Fog".

I hear he's singing at a charity event at the Marriott tonight.

Fasttr wants to go.  Fasttr enjoys music.  You can't keep Fasttr away.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Hey ! You want to go see "The Velvet Fog".
> 
> I hear he's singing at a charity event at the Marriott tonight.
> 
> Fasttr wants to go.  Fasttr enjoys music.  You can't keep Fasttr away.



"When you're smiling, When you're smiling...

The whole world smiles with you...

When you're laughin', When you're laughin'

The sun comes shining through

But when you're crying, You bring on the rain

So stop that sign. Be happy again

Keep on smiling , 'cause when you're smiling

The whole world smiles with yooooouuuuuuu

The whole world smiles with ..yoooooouuuuu


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Well you know, all you guys ever do is sit around the tug forum
posting, sit around Fasttr's timeshare , posting. Frankly, I don't know
how you can stand it. I’ll see you.


----------



## jont (Aug 24, 2015)

Well! I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking thread every ten minutes to pore over the, excruciating minutia, of every, single, Seinfeld show.....


----------



## vail (Aug 26, 2015)

This is the summer of George


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 26, 2015)

vail said:


> This is the summer of George


Jerry, you got any Tums?

Stomach ache?

I drank too much water in the shower


----------



## jont (Aug 26, 2015)

vail said:


> This is the summer of George



sorry, I was out playing frolf


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 26, 2015)

It just dawned on me... this is a game of thread domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.


----------



## jont (Aug 27, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> It just dawned on me... this is a game of thread domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.


You said keep your threads out of focus, which is misleading. You want DEEP focus!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 27, 2015)

jont said:


> You said keep your threads out of focus, which is misleading. You want DEEP focus!



I still don't see it.


----------



## jont (Aug 27, 2015)

It's all Fasttr's fault! 
Fasttr and amanda14!
All that Seinfeld talk. He did a Seinfeld post, she didn't do a seinfeld post. Seinfeld this, Seinfeld that.
I got so focused on it. I started to panic and boom, I lost it.
I tried everything to post elsewhere. I just couldn't.
'Please help me to post something else!


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Well, Fasttr it's a story about love, deception, greed, lust and...unbridled enthusiasm, that's what led to jont's downfall.

 You see Fasttr, jont was a simple weeks owner. You might say a cockeyed optimist, who got himself mixed up in the high stakes game of TUG diplomacy and seinfeld postings.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> Well, Fasttr it's a story about love, deception, greed, lust and...unbridled enthusiasm, that's what led to jont's downfall.
> 
> You see Fasttr, jont was a simple weeks owner. You might say a cockeyed optimist, who got himself mixed up in the high stakes game of TUG diplomacy and seinfeld postings.



Ok Billy Mumphrey.  That episode was on TBS last night....I think that's cheating!!!

Go eat a Mackinaw Peach.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont.... not sure if I mentioned the amazing thing I saw poolside at Ocean Pointe when I was there a couple weeks ago.  There was this gymnast, she appeared to be Romanian, who did this amazing routine, teetering along the very edge of the Cobia pool.  I remember saying to my wife as it was happening....

Look at the height, the extension! Now watch the tuck. Handstand, half-turn, giant into a straddle, back into another handstand. Nice kip. Reverse hecht. Oh, nice leg extension, good form! Now, here comes the big dismount. Look at the rotation, full in, double back, and she sticks the landing!  

It was as if I was at the '84 Olympiad.

.


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Ok Billy Mumphrey.  That episode was on TBS last night....I think that's cheating!!!
> 
> Go eat a Mackinaw Peach.



It's like a having a circus in my mouth.


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> jont.... not sure if I mentioned the amazing thing I saw poolside at Ocean Pointe when I was there a couple weeks ago.  There was this gymnast, she appeared to be Romanian, who did this amazing routine, teetering along the very edge of the Cobia pool.  I remember saying to my wife as it was happening....
> 
> Look at the height, the extension! Now watch the tuck. Handstand, half-turn, giant into a straddle, back into another handstand. Nice kip. Reverse hecht. Oh, nice leg extension, good form! Now, here comes the big dismount. Look at the rotation, full in, double back, and she sticks the landing!
> 
> ...


That episode was also on TBS this week. you fasttr are no comedian


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Ok Billy Mumphrey.  That episode was on TBS last night....I think that's cheating!!!
> 
> Go eat a Mackinaw Peach.



What's today? the 28th?  yes one more day to get the Mackinaws.

who needs TBS reruns? I got them constantly replaying in my head 24/7.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> What's today? the 28th?  yes one more day to get the Mackinaws.
> 
> who needs TBS reruns? I got them constantly replaying in my head 24/7.



I mean the problem is that the good posters, like you jont, know they're good. And they  know they're in such demand they're just not interested in confining themselves to one thread.  So we end up with you hijacking Puck's thread.  We're looking for posters here that are between good and mediocre.  No, maybe this thread needs posters who have nothing, somebody who just has to appreciate posting here because he's so desperate.


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I mean the problem is that the good posters, like you jont, know they're good. And they  know they're in such demand they're just not interested in confining themselves to one thread.  So we end up with you hijacking Puck's thread.  We're looking for posters here that are between good and mediocre.  No, maybe this thread needs posters who have nothing, somebody who just has to appreciate posting here because he's so desperate.



I'm not hijacking Puck's thread to the airport!

not there's anything wrong with that.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> I'm not hijacking Puck's thread to the airport!
> 
> not there's anything wrong with that.



Settle down there Buck Naked!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Settle down there Buck Naked!!!



Good idea! I think i'll take a steam.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> Good idea! I think i'll take a steam.



No steam!!!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> No steam!!!!!



It's those damn culottes you made him wear when he was five!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> It's those damn culottes you made him wear when he was five!



6:30, jont. Time for your sponge bath.


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> 6:30, jont. Time for your sponge bath.



Not gonna happen. amanda14 went all over town and bought up all the sponges. Apparently, I'm not sponge worthy.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> Not gonna happen. amanda14 went all over town and bought up all the sponges. Apparently, I'm not sponge worthy.



I thought that was SueDonJ back in post # 16.  I heard that after that post, she had to re-evaluate her whole screening process.


----------



## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I thought that was SueDonJ back in post # 16.  I heard that after that post, she had to re-evaluate her whole screening process.



You know, you're nuts with these sponges. jont is gettin' frustrated!


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> You know, you're nuts with these sponges. jont is gettin' frustrated!



Well, seems it's about time for Fasttr's lunch

Darn it it's ham & Cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me. oh! she made it up with a cupcake though. Hey look at this. You know I got a new system for eating these things. `I used to peel off the chocolate now I turn them upside down, I eat the cake first and save the frosting for the end.


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Well, seems it's about time for Fasttr's lunch
> 
> Darn it it's ham & Cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me. oh! she made it up with a cupcake though. Hey look at this. You know I got a new system for eating these things. `I used to peel off the chocolate now I turn them upside down, I eat the cake first and save the frosting for the end.



jont had a bout of Diverticulitis one time -- knocked jont right on his ass.

jont can’t even afford to go out to lunch. jont been eating in
a high school cafeterias. jont pretends to be a teacher. It's pathetic.


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

Do you realize, as of now, this Thread About Nothing has received 8,895 views.  That's almost as impressive as THIS thread with 7,836 views as of now (and yes, I realize the fact that I am marketing dioxide45's deleted topic thread, I will be helping his overall view count).

Proves that overall, TUGgers are pretty bored and easily amused people in general.  

Giddy Up!!!


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Do you realize, as of now, this Thread About Nothing has received 8,895 views.  That's almost as impressive as THIS thread with 7,836 views as of now (and yes, I realize the fact that I am marketing dioxide45's deleted topic thread, I will be helping his overall view count).
> 
> Proves that overall, TUGgers are pretty bored and easily amused people in general.
> 
> Giddy Up!!!



And 2 or 3 very crazy TUGgers in particular.

Actually, I never thought this thread would have lasted this long. I was expecting SueDonMishke to put the kibosh on this a long time ago.


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> And 2 or 3 very crazy TUGgers in particular.
> 
> Actually, I never thought this thread would have lasted this long. I was expecting SueDonMishke to put the kibosh on this a long time ago.



I'm committed till we get to 10K views....then I'll have to find something more sponge worthy!!!


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I'm committed till we get to 10K views....then I'll have to find something more sponge worthy!!!



As we rapidly reach our 9000th view, I thought it would be helpful to review with all our fans just exactly how all this nonsense started. 
As I recall, I had sent pm’s to fasttr and amanda14 and the ensuing conversation went something like this:

jont:  Hey
amanda14: Hey
jont: Who wants to have some fun?
fasttr: I do.
Amanda14: I do.
jont:  Are you just sayin' you want to have fun or do you really want to have fun?!
fasttr: I really wanna have some fun.
amanda14: I'm just  sayin' I wanna have some fun.
jont: Right now there are 180 Seinfeld scripts that I got off the internet on this flash drive. Why don't we log on to the Marriott tug forum and post them----------- ad naseum! 
 Now picture this……. we find a nice unsuspecting thread, we go to our keyboards, we hijack that thread, and the posts............ never end!
Amanda14: Come on. Ya wanna go to the tug lounge?
fasttr: Yeah, let me just check me email and I'll meet you at the tug lounge.
Amanda14: Yeah, the tug lounge.


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> As we rapidly reach our 9000th view, I thought it would be helpful to review with all our fans just exactly how all this nonsense started.
> As I recall, I had sent pm’s to fasttr and amanda14 and the ensuing conversation went something like this:
> 
> jont:  Hey
> ...



As I recall, the initial concept started in February.  Just let me ask you something. Is it "Febuary" or " February"? Because I prefer "Febuary" and what is this "ru"?


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr:I came to pick jont up for a doctor's appointment, he wasn't here. 
I called the doctor, nobody knows where he is. He hasn't left the apartment
in twenty-five years!


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> Fasttr:I came to pick jont up for a doctor's appointment, he wasn't here. I called the doctor, nobody knows where he is. He hasn't left the apartment in twenty-five years!



amanda14:  Well? I cashed the checks, the checks bounced and now my jont's missing!


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> amanda14:  Well? I cashed the checks, the checks bounced and now my jont's missing!



As long as you've got your checkbook out, how about forking a little
over to TUG? You read the forums, don't you? You don't want to be a
freeloader.


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> As long as you've got your checkbook out, how about forking a little
> over to TUG? You read the forums, don't you? You don't want to be a
> freeloader.



Oh, it's you. We were just posting about you.  Listen, amanda14 doesn't want to read your posts.  Nobody wants to read your posts, so why don't you just drop dead?


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Oh, it's you. We were just posting about you.  Listen, amanda14 doesn't want to read your posts.  Nobody wants to read your posts, so why don't you just drop dead?



 I'm jont, I post on tug for a living, but there's no joking
about the posting crisis here at TUG. Our forums are open, so please post something.
This is not the only time this year we'll be asking for posts.
 You've been enjoying fasttr's seinfeld posts so please post generously.


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> I'm jont, I post on tug for a living, but there's no joking
> about the posting crisis here at TUG. Our forums are open, so please post something.
> This is not the only time this year we'll be asking for posts.
> You've been enjoying fasttr's seinfeld posts so please post generously.



I was promised tote bags after 2000 posts and tote bags I shall have.


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Oh, it's you. We were just posting about you.  Listen, amanda14 doesn't want to read your posts.  Nobody wants to read your posts, so why don't you just drop dead?



oh dear...


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont, maybe you don't have to be so funny.  I mean, would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking. TUGgers think I'm very funny. Now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald TUGger with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> jont, maybe you don't have to be so funny.  I mean, would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking. TUGgers think I'm very funny. Now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald TUGger with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.



Ya gotta put on a show, ya always gotta give them a big show. You
always have to be 'on' otherwise why would they like me? They'd just go for a
better looking guy with more money.


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> Ya gotta put on a show, ya always gotta give them a big show. You
> always have to be 'on' otherwise why would they like me? They'd just go for a
> better looking guy with more money.



You bad man! You very bad man! You very lazy bad man!


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

You know, jont's the only TUGger that's ever been accepted into gorilla society. And you know, once those gorillas accept you, you got it made in the shade.


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You bad man! You very bad man! You very lazy bad man!


 Well It's a long story. I- I don't like to talk about it, but I swore then that I would never work for the big timeshare developers. See, all they care about is money. I'm about more than money, I'm about people, always gone my own way and I've never looked back.


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> Well It's a long story. I- I don't like to talk about it, but I swore then that I would never work for the big timeshare developers. See, all they care about is money. I'm about more than money, I'm about people, always gone my own way and I've never looked back.



Well, you are not functioning the way you normally do. You seem depressed. You've lost your appetite. You've even curtailed your autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation you had with SueDonJ the other day.


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You know, jont's the only TUGger that's ever been accepted into gorilla society. And you know, once those gorillas accept you, you got it made in the shade.



 Oh. Hey, how come people don't have dip for dinner? Why is it only a
snack, why can't it be a meal, you know? I don't understand stuff like that.


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Well, you are not functioning the way you normally do. You seem depressed. You've lost your appetite. You've even curtailed your autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation you had with SueDonJ the other day.



Fasttr, this is the way marriott society functions. Aren't you a part of marriott
society? Because if you don't want to be a part of marriott society, Fasttr why don't you just get on your keyboard and move to the Disney forum !


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> Fasttr, this is the way marriott society functions. Aren't you a part of marriott
> society? Because if you don't want to be a part of marriott society, Fasttr why don't you just get on your keyboard and move to the Disney forum !



Oh, I get it. Why waste time making small talk with the Fasttr? I should just shut up and do my job, opening the door for you to make great follow up posts.


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Oh, I get it. Why waste time making small talk with the Fasttr? I should just shut up and do my job, opening the door for you to make great follow up posts.



 Sid Fasttr?! You're having dinner with a tug poster?


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont....I'm afraid that some of our post may be very close to violating TUG posting rules and SueDonJ may step in.  We need a signal if either of us senses that happening.  A signal, right, erm, OK, er OK, the signal is, I'll call out 'Tippy toe!'


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## jont (Aug 28, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> jont....I'm afraid that some of our post may be very close to violating TUG posting rules and SueDonJ may step in.  We need a signal if either of us senses that happening.  A signal, right, erm, OK, er OK, the signal is, I'll call out 'Tippy toe!'


you know Fastr, all this posting is really beginning to affect my hands. they have become so strained with.. overuse, that they have locked into a deformed position, and have become nothing but a claw.  I've been seeking
 a cure.. acupuncturists.. herbalists.. swamis.. nothing has helped. They have become so frozen I am unable to manipulate the keyboard. any sugestions? :


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## Fasttr (Aug 28, 2015)

jont said:


> you know Fastr, all this posting is really beginning to affect my hands. they have become so strained with.. overuse, that they have locked into a deformed position, and have become nothing but a claw.  I've been seeking
> a cure.. acupuncturists.. herbalists.. swamis.. nothing has helped. They have become so frozen I am unable to manipulate the keyboard. any sugestions? :



Not sure, but I do know that stress is very damaging to the epidermis!

I bet prior to your deformity, you could've had any woman in the world.. but none could match the beauty of your own hand..


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

Hey, look at Fasttr. He's givin' it to  jont-bone. He's jumpin' up and down like some kind of monkey. Hey, what was the name of that monkey that could read sign language?


----------



## amanda14 (Aug 29, 2015)

Koko the monkey


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

This posting..........is making me thirsty!


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont said:


> This posting..........is making me thirsty!



You know what, you can liquefy a cookie.  Put a few cookies in a blender and you could drink it.

That may help.


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You know what, you can liquefy a cookie.  Put a few cookies in a blender and you could drink it.
> 
> That may help.



yankee bean..... yankee bean......i... like ....my........y.  a. n. keee.  bean


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont said:


> yankee bean..... yankee bean......i... like ....my........y.  a. n. keee.  bean



Look jont...I have a wonderful time when I'm posting here with you, wonderful! 

But at this point in my life, I'm not really sure that I'm ready to make a commitment to one thread.


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> Look jont...I have a wonderful time when I'm posting here with you, wonderful!
> 
> But at this point in my life, I'm not really sure that I'm ready to make a commitment to one thread.



Easy, Fasttr. Steady. You wouldn't want to lose your cool at a time like this. 
Because right now, I'm the only chance you've got.


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont said:


> Easy, Fasttr. Steady. You wouldn't want to lose your cool at a time like this.
> Because right now, I'm the only chance you've got.



You really think you can manipulate a beautiful young TUGger like the half-soused nighttime TUG readers that lap up your inane posts?


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

Writing posts about Marriott timeshares on TUG don't take no more sense than putting on a pair of pants. My question to you fasttr, is who's putting your
pants on?


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

fasttr and amanda14.......was wondering if you happened to see this little blurb in the Post today: 

"famed New York comedian, tv star and timeshare  enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld has become very upset by the constant and incessant posting about his former hit TV show 'Seinfeld" by some mental defectives on the TUG Marriott forum. It was reported that Seinfeld said he would never read or post on TUG ever again. When reached for comment, the visibly agitated Seinfeld said "I'm a little freaked out!"  


I didn't even know Jerry was a tugger.


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont said:


> I didn't even know Jerry was a tugger.



Not that there's anything wrong with that...


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

I've been thinking about a trip to MOC to see what GregT's been yada, yada'ing about in all of his posts....but you know, Hawaii could be a little tricky right now, there's a lot of high pressure winds down there this time of year, there's a lot of debris constantly flying around. Wood, and uh, lava, pretty dangerous.


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## amanda14 (Aug 29, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I've been thinking about a trip to MOC to see what GregT's been yada, yada'ing about in all of his posts....but you know, Hawaii could be a little tricky right now, there's a lot of high pressure winds down there this time of year, there's a lot of debris constantly flying around. Wood, and uh, lava, pretty dangerous.



I think Greg may be angry with Tim Whatley, yada yada yada he is an anti dentite


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

I just watched Triple Crown winner American Pharaoh lose in the Travers Stakes.  Wow...too bad.  He should have been like Jerry and when asked if he would run again, his owners should have said....  

*I choose not to run!*


.


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

This is sort of embarrassing, but when I was reading the thread about the new deal that MVC is rolling out, enabling post 2010 resale weeks to be enrolled in the DC with a fixed points purchase, I got so excited....I think it moved.  It may have moved, I don't know.  It moved!  It was imperceptible but I felt it.  It wasn't a shift, I've shifted, this was a move.


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

fasttr, Well, I talked to SueDon J, and, uh, I've thought it over, and, you
know, my apology was sarcastic, and rude, and you deserve
much better.


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont said:


> fasttr, Well, I talked to SueDon J, and, uh, I've thought it over, and, you
> know, my apology was sarcastic, and rude, and you deserve
> much better.



Well, thank you very much. I'm telling you, one more day stinkbreath!


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

When I was at Ocean Pointe a few weeks back, I did a fair amount of walking through the surrounding neighborhood and noticed a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags, which to me is just the lowest function of  human life. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're gonna think the dogs are the leaders.  If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume was in charge?


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

Fasttr, I would be honored if you would be my guest for dinner tonight at the Mariott corporate sales center. there will be girls there and, I hear, some pretty good food. Of course the problem with parties is you invariably have to eat standing up which I don't care for but on the other hand I don't like to balance a plate on my lap either. Once when I was at a party, I put my plate on someone's piano. I assure you, if I had not been a tugger I would not have been able to get away with that one.


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont said:


> Fasttr, I would be honored if you would be my guest for dinner tonight at the Mariott corporate sales center. there will be girls there and, I hear, some pretty good food. Of course the problem with parties is you invariably have to eat standing up which I don't care for but on the other hand I don't like to balance a plate on my lap either. Once when I was at a party, I put my plate on someone's piano. I assure you, if I had not been a tugger I would not have been able to get away with that one.



You sound like a communist!!!

Hey, last year, didn't you take Miss Stafford, our voluptuous home room teacher, to that event?


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont....your posts are very funny.  I mean, we're not stupid, right?  We know when something's funny!  Your posts cannot not be funny!


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## jont (Aug 29, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> jont....your posts are very funny.  I mean, we're not stupid, right?  We know when something's funny!  Your posts cannot not be funny!



good news fasttr! your the reason for my 1260th post!

is this post funny?...........am I being funny now?


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

jont said:


> good news fasttr! your the reason for my 1260th post!
> 
> is this post funny?...........am I being funny now?



I'm snubbing you. You see?  jont, you like that! Yes! I understand jont. The snub is good, jont loves the snub!


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

The problem with posting is that nobody stops you from saying the wrong thing. I think life would be a lot better if it was like you're always making a movie.  You mess up, somebody just walks on the set, and stops the whole shot. You know what I mean? Think of the things you wish you could take back. You're out somewhere with people, "Gee, you look pregnant.. are ya?" "Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, that's not gonna work at all.  Walk out the door, and come back in. Let's take this whole scene again. jont, think about what you're posting!


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## SueDonJ (Aug 29, 2015)

As if all of this isn't Bizarro World enough, I went looking for Seinfeld quotes about imposters (because whoever you whackos are talking to about lectures and apologies, it's not me!) and I found ...

wait for it ...

it's good, you'll like it ...

really good ...

three squares good if you know what I mean ...

there is a message board where folks who aren't the real Seinfeld characters pretend to be the real Seinfeld characters, use their names and everything, and have whole conversations verbatim from the show.  Back in late 2004 there was a brouhaha because somebody new came in and started using "J Chiles" as a user name.  So then they all ganged up on him yelling at him for being an imposter's imposter, defending the real imposter Jackie Chiles.

All that time wasted and all this writing to say, don't you ever wonder what the real Seinfeld characters think about all these websites with imposters playing them?


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## Fasttr (Aug 29, 2015)

SueDonJ said:


> As if all of this isn't Bizarro World enough, I went looking for Seinfeld quotes about imposters (because whoever you whackos are talking to about lectures and apologies, it's not me!) and I found ...
> 
> wait for it ...
> 
> ...



You'd have to be a real loser to try something like that.


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## SueDonJ (Aug 29, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You'd have to be a real loser to try something like that.



Dang, think I just lost the Water Pik.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 30, 2015)

SueDonJ said:


> Dang, think I just lost the Water Pik.



I have no choice but to recommend your prompt termination to the TUG board of directors, nothing short of the approval of TUGBrian himself will save you this time.


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## jont (Aug 30, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You'd have to be a real loser to try something like that.



some people really need to get a life


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## amanda14 (Aug 30, 2015)

jont said:


> some people really need to get a life



Seriously.


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## jont (Aug 30, 2015)

It recently occured to me that this thread is like a tennis match with lots of posts flying back and forth over the net. what this thread needs tho is a sort of "postboy" who can swoop in and remove all the nonfunny posts that fail to make it over the net. wadda think? should we conduct tryouts for a "postboy"?

btw: we can't have any have any men try out for this or we mignt end up with Newman


----------



## SueDonJ (Aug 30, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I have no choice but to recommend your prompt termination to the TUG board of directors, nothing short of the approval of TUGBrian himself will save you this time.



First you tell me to get a life, then you tell me you're trying to take away my life.  You're not making sense!


----------



## jont (Aug 30, 2015)

SueDonJ said:


> First you tell me to get a life, then you tell me you're trying to take away my life.  You're not making sense!



does anything in this thread at all remotely make any sense?


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## jont (Aug 30, 2015)

jont: No, man! Dont give up!

Fasttr: But I need to Jont! I need to,bad!

jont: Do you think that this’ll make you happy? ‘Cause it won’t!

Fasttr: (Walking away) Ah, you can just go on without me.

(Jont grabs him by the collar)

Jont: Listen to me. When that thread rolls into that TUG hall of shame, and that  screen is blank, I want you to be there with me when everyone says, "jont and that other guy, oh, they went further to the left of sanity than anyone ever dreamed!"


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 30, 2015)

This thread is getting so close to 10,000 views.  

I don't know if you should sit for this or not. Sitting is good if you faint, but standing is good for jumping up and down.. I can't decide.


----------



## jont (Aug 30, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> This thread is getting so close to 10,000 views.
> 
> I don't know if you should sit for this or not. Sitting is good if you faint, but standing is good for jumping up and down.. I can't decide.



Fasttr, I've been preparing for this moment my entire life.


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 30, 2015)

jont said:


> Fasttr, I've been preparing for this moment my entire life.



You look like a Frog.


----------



## BobG7734 (Aug 30, 2015)

jont said:


> does anything in this thread at all remotely make any sense?



Gentlemen...Me thinks that Sanity Has Left the Building!!


----------



## jont (Aug 30, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> You look like a Frog.



So what kind of jail time are we looking at if we're caught?


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## Fasttr (Aug 30, 2015)

jont said:


> So what kind of jail time are we looking at if we're caught?



Well.....when you get to jail, you'll experience the perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella...just the right amount of grease on the joy stick...


----------



## Fasttr (Aug 30, 2015)

I think its time to mix things up, start a new thread, and start quoting episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond!!!


----------



## jont (Aug 30, 2015)

Showmanship, Fasttr. When you hit that high note, you say goodnight and sign off


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## amanda14 (Aug 31, 2015)

Fasttr said:


> I think its time to mix things up, start a new thread, and start quoting episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond!!!



Or Caddyshack and Stripes


----------

