# A rant - Costco



## ScoopKona (May 20, 2009)

So, MIL needed new tires. I don't know why, though. She's only been driving on this set for 15 years in the freakin' desert.   (No treads at all. Basically like driving on racing slicks.)

So Costco ran a sale on Michelins. $70 off. It ended up being the best price compared to the other tire companies in the area.

Costco, I have decided, is _the fifth circle of hell on earth._  Everything that is wrong with people these days can be found at Costco.

First, you turn into the parking lot and immediately almost get creamed by an elderly person making a left turn into your lane, nearly hitting you head on. She shoots you a look that says, "Why are you in my lane, whippersnapper?"

As you drive around the twisty, turny parking lot (it's twisty and turny in Henderson, NV, at least), you need to drive 2 miles an hour to avoid the zombies who walk directly into traffic without so much as a glance. 

But, if you drive 2 miles an hour, the "first generation walking on hind legs" family in their monster truck roars around you, nearly hitting the 90-year old pushing the walker (who is surprisingly spry when she's about to be creamed by a four-ton truck).

Then you miss a parking spot that's only 20 feet in front of you, because a 2,000-pound family of four is pushing a shipping container full of junk food right down the middle of the street, walking four abreast -- _completely filling the lane._ The monster truck roars in from the other direction and takes the spot, scratching a BMW in the process. The Moron family hastily exits without leaving a note.

After finding a parking spot on the Canadian border, you walk to the store, careful to make sure you're not run over by near-simians in monster trucks and people who floor it in reverse (without looking) as they back out of their space.

You show your membership card to the greeter (whose sole job in life is to ensure that non-Costco-members don't sneak in to eat free samples). Everyone in front of you gets into the store, and immediately stops to look at the crap they have on display near the entrance. And there you wait, while the people in front of you discuss the pros and cons of a lighted, plastic bird bath with Disney's "Princess Ariel" posed on top. 

Eventually a hole opens up, and you can push your grossly over-sized cart into the "raceway".

One hour until the tires are installed. No problems, I'll let Mother-In-Law do a little shopping. 

There is slow.

Then there is "slow as molasses."

Then there is "slow as molasses in January."

Then there is "slow as the line at the post office four days before Christmas."

And then there is "the people milling around Costco with their carts as big as Sherman tanks."

You pass the electronics -- no big deal, then the small appliances, the kitchen items, the tools, bicycles, office equipment and then the logjam appears. Right there as the food section begins. Someone is giving away free samples of toll house cookies.

It's like the final scene in The Blues Brothers, where 200 police officers, all pointing weapons, finally arrest Jake and Elwood. Except this time it's 200 shoppers, each with a grocery cart the size of a dump truck, all waiting in a big clump while the lady with the paper hat cooks up samples of toll house cookies, _six at a time._

Children wail as if being beaten with a flail, "*I want a cookie. Nnnnnnoooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!*

"You'll get your cookie soon."

*But I want it NNNNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW  Waaaaahhhh!*

Leaving the poor mother and her emotional extortionist of a child, you sneak away from the cookie lady around the mountains of bagels to where the good stuff is.  Along the way you pass signs like, "Entire side of beef, $2.99 a pound, 300 lb. minimum." Or, "Box of 72 cornish game hens, $19.99"

Along the way, I kid you not, is flour being sold 45-pounds at a time in 5 gallon buckets. Aside from a pizzeria, who needs that much flour? How on earth do they expect me to go through 45 pounds of flour before it goes stale. Even at 50 cents per pound, there's no way. I just don't bake that much bread!

You pick up a few things you can use -- coffee, some nice trout for dinner, a big box of granola, and a week's supply of yogurt. 

There, you're done. _Oh no you're not!_ You walk ever so slowly to the cash registers. Step by step, _inch by inch_, like Frodo and Sam straining to climb the last steps of Mount Doom. You fight your way around the crowds that have gathered around more ladies in paper hats trying to give away the most ridiculous food and health items ever conceived:

"Try some Cap'n Crunch soup?"

"Try some Jimmy Dean sausage souffle?"

"Try some Joint Juice? It tastes like an orangutang's nether regions!"

"Try this suppository?"

You finally make it to the cash register. You're only 15th in line. Even better, all the people in front of you have small purchases -- like a 64" television, a Barcalounger, and a metric ton of onions. This shouldn't take too long and.... Oh, *crap*, someone is paying with nickles.

The next person tries to pay with Visa. Nope, buddy, Amex or cash only. You're outta here. Let me get a crane to take those purchase out of the way. The person directly in front of you tries to pay with a post-dated, third-party check drawn on the Bank of Baghdad.

You whip out your Amex card and pay for your four items. And then, you stop. And wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

The millions of huddled masses, yearning to be free all push their barcaloungers, their televisions, their gas grills (with built in refrigerators!) slowly, inexorably toward the 102-year old man who compares the items in the cart with the receipt.

Did I mention the pizza parlor between you and the door?

What looks like "a day's worth of Disneyland visitors" and enough food and merchandise to outfit a third world nation is all that stands between you and freedom. They're smearing pizza all over everything while their miserable little whelps scream at the top of their lungs for no apparent reason. Two hours later, you finally make it to the old man at the gate. Let's call him, "Yoda."

"Trout that is not," he says. 

Yes it is. It's steelhead trout. It's a kind of trout that looks like salmon. 

"My manager I will have to call," he says. "Learn the ways of the force while call him I do."

The people behind you give you a look that would curdle milk as Yoda shuffles towards the customer service desk. He shows the receipt to his manager, who waves you on. 

Finally, you pack your four little items into your car. Someone has dinged your door and not left a note. A monster truck is parked next to you.




And that concludes my rant.


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## Icarus (May 20, 2009)

hahaha, very funny.

The only thing you missed is the "Costco mentality", how people use their carts as weapons at Costco.

I love Costco, and I buy a little bit of their stock every month through sharebuilder, which had a rebate and fee rebate deal through Costco. 

-David


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## Luanne (May 20, 2009)

Sorry, no sympathy.  I love Costco.    But, maybe that's because dh is the one who shops there every week. :whoopie:


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## icydog (May 20, 2009)

I loved your post. It was written so well and so funny too. You should publish it. I am going to send it to my friends. So funny!!:whoopie:

I happen to love Costco but I shop during the day and never on weekends. I also never shop in the ones in Las Vegas (my sister lives in Vegas) and I know that Henderson is right outside Vegas. I live in NJ,  an hour from NYC, where people  NEVER push or shove.:rofl:


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## PigsDad (May 20, 2009)

Thanks for the chuckle! I needed it today.   

Kurt


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## UWSurfer (May 20, 2009)

...and best yet...he leaves WITHOUT purchasing the tires!!!

:hysterical:


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## ScoopKona (May 20, 2009)

UWSurfer said:


> ...and best yet...he leaves WITHOUT purchasing the tires!!!
> 
> :hysterical:



I probably should have put that in somewhere. Getting the tires was the most straightforward part of the experience.


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## rickandcindy23 (May 20, 2009)

I love Costco, personally, and cannot believe how great the frozen seafood is for my diet.  They also have great chicken breasts that are fresh and seasoned, individually wrapped, so I can cook one at a time.  

Rick buys buckets of laundry detergent, sacks of both brown and white sugar, those huge bags of flour, and gallons and gallons of oil, all for the firehouse supplies.  We go once a month, and while he is buying the scads of staples for the 30 guys at the firehouse (a total of about $400 a month), I walk down the aisles separately and pick up things for home, and I love the quality, prices and selection.  

I save so much money, but Costco doesn't have everything I need, especially when it comes to fat-free, light cooking.  I have yet to see reduced fat cheese or sour cream at the stores, and I wish they would recognize that some of us aren't going to buy those fatty products.  Even the cottage cheese is always 4% milkfat, and we don't need that.  

Vegetables and fruits, you cannot beat the quality and freshness.  I bought a bag of romaine that was huge, but it still lasted 5 days, even though it was opened four days before.  I love the apples, strawberries, and oranges (the best ones are at the stores right now).  They even have great mangos and pineapples--yum.  The cucumbers, carrots, broccoli and asparagas are great, too, at this time of year.  

I am making myself hungry for some steamed vegetables!  My refrigerator is full of great stuff right now.


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## gmarine (May 20, 2009)

I love Costco. The prices are great and the return policy is terrific. Costco also sells high quality diamonds and other gems at excellent prices.

The one thing that bothers me about Costco is the people getting the free food samples. You would think they were giving away bags of money the way some people stop and rush for the samples.


One interesting fact about Costco is that the average income of a Costco member is over $75,000 per year and 30% of Costco members make over $100,000 per year.


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## Karen G (May 20, 2009)

ScoopLV said:


> As you drive around the twisty, turny parking lot (it's twisty and turny in *Henderson, NV*, at least), you need to drive 2 miles an hour to avoid the zombies who walk directly into traffic without so much as a glance.



That was hilarious, especially since that is the very same Costco where I shop!  I could visualize everything you described.  Yes, there are certain days I avoid going there. But, I do love the quality of Costco items.


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## rickandcindy23 (May 20, 2009)

George, I agree on the free food samples.  What's the deal with that?   

Of course, there were products I wouldn't have tried without the free samples, like the lightly breaded cod that is so easy to heat up.  I would have thought it would be greasy, and something I should avoid, but it is so lightly breaded, I treat myself now and again to it.  

The sample of the spinach ravioli was so good, too, and I did buy some of that after tasting it.  Some of the samples are just plain not good for a person.  One of the best samples yesterday during our trip was a fat-free gogurt which they froze.  I hadn't thought of buying those to freeze for these hot summer days.  YUM!  I bought a box for myself, and what a treat those will be.  They tasted like the old TCBY strawberry yogurt I used to love.


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## DaveNV (May 20, 2009)

A few facts you may find helpful to ease your annoyance with Costco:

1.  Costco is a warehouse concept store, set up primarily to serve businesses.  Things like that 45 pounds of flour are intended for restaurants, not for small families.  In the early days, if you didn't own a business, you couldn't even shop there.  If you look a bit closer, you'll find flour being sold in smaller quantities, for people just like you.

2.  The people giving away free samples are not Costco employees.  They are employed by a separate company, a contractor who provides "free sample services" to Costco shoppers.  They work under very specific orders from their employer.  They provide small amounts of samples at a time specifically to prevent situations where selfish people swoop in and clean them out of a dozen samples at a time.

3.  The old guy at the exit door (and his peers) is checking your receipt to make sure you got what you paid for, specifically for big-ticket items.  What would you do if you got to your car and discovered you didn't have the diamond ring you just paid for?  And what would you expect Costco to do if that happened? Give you another one?  It saves both of you time and money.

4.  You don't have to shop there.  At any time of year, if you are unhappy with your membership for any reason, Costco will gladly refund your membership dues IN FULL, and cancel your membership.  So you'd never have any further reason to rant against them for providing you with the best shopping value of any retailer.

And if you think Costco is bad, go shop at Sam's Club.  Not only will you get inferior products, you'll also get insolent, disgruntled employees to sweeten the experience.  

Dave, (whose spouse has worked for Costco for more than 13 years)


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## gmarine (May 20, 2009)

rickandcindy23 said:


> George, I agree on the free food samples.  What's the deal with that?
> 
> Of course, there were products I wouldn't have tried without the free samples, like the lightly breaded cod that is so easy to heat up.  I would have thought it would be greasy, and something I should avoid, but it is so lightly breaded, I treat myself now and again to it.
> 
> The sample of the spinach ravioli was so good, too, and I did buy some of that after tasting it.  Some of the samples are just plain not good for a person.  One of the best samples yesterday during our trip was a fat-free gogurt which they froze.  I hadn't thought of buying those to freeze for these hot summer days.  YUM!  I bought a box for myself, and what a treat those will be.  They tasted like the old TCBY strawberry yogurt I used to love.



Dont get me wrong Cindy, I love the samples. But the people who just abandon their shopping carts and block the aisle while they run for a sample drive me crazy. 
And I swear there are dads who bring their kids to have samples just so they dont have to make dinner.


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## BevL (May 20, 2009)

Thanks for the levity - it was very much appreciated today.


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## stmartinfan (May 20, 2009)

Your rant made me smile.  But I have to wonder if your Costco is uniquely Nevada?  Here in Minn. I don't think I've ever seen a monster truck in the parking lot!  Of course, I try to hit Costco during the weekdays whenever possible...open aisles, short lines and little back up at the door.  The times I've made a Saturday stop it was much crazier.


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## ScoopKona (May 20, 2009)

BMWguynw said:


> A few facts you may find helpful to ease your annoyance with Costco:
> 
> [Removed for brevity.]
> 
> Dave, (whose spouse has worked for Costco for more than 13 years)




Are you upset because I picked a BMW get scratched in my partly fictional story?

If you'll notice, my beef is with the slack-jawed, sample-craving zombies IN AND AROUND THE COSTCO. Not with Costco or it's fine employees. (Although Methuselah at the gate is a hoot.)


Just wait for my _next_ rant which I'll call, "Three Hours in a Las Vegas BMW Dealership: The Sixth Circle of Hell."  


Now go buy a copy of "Young Frankenstein" at Costco and find a smile.


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## Passepartout (May 20, 2009)

We seem to go to Costco every weekend. I used to get my scripts there because they came close to the mail order price. DW got her Michelins there. We've learned not to go Sat/Sun afternoons. Evenings are cool. The main hazards here are the Blaine County (Sun Valley) bazillionaires, getting their luxury goods, or the ranchers laying in 2 months of grub for all the hands. The monster trucks and RV's are all crowded around the gas pumps.

Jim Ricks


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## DaveNV (May 20, 2009)

ScoopLV said:


> Are you upset because I picked a BMW get scratched in my partly fictional story?
> 
> Now go buy a copy of "Young Frankenstein" at Costco and find a smile.




It's okay, you can relax.  I'm smiling.  I read your rant for what it was, and I did smile in places, because I've been through that scenario many times.  It was hard to tell in places just how much you were kidding.  And I've heard the same story a hundred times from people who WEREN'T kidding.  They were really pissed.  (They're usually the ones who demand to know why Costco doesn't have an express check-out lane, special orders, or have a layaway plan so they can leave a deposit on something expensive.)  My comments were intended for anyone who does have a beef with the place.

The scratched BMW joke was quite funny.  (I once saw someone back out of a Costco parking stall, zoom across the lane, and crash right into the back end of the car behind them, breaking taillights and denting bumpers, then drive away like nothing happened.)  And I can definitely relate to the idiots in the monster trucks.  I live in the Pacific Northwest, where "monster truck" is a way of life...  

Best part of your story was that it happened in Henderson.  I've been to that Costco, and I agree that the parking lot is terrible...   

Dave


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## applegirl (May 21, 2009)

Now that was funny!:rofl: 

I only go during the week, usually right at 10am because I have my daughter with me and don't want any hassles.  My visits are usually stress-free and fast.  I also love the quality at Costco and when I stick to my list, it does save me money.

This post though was a good laugh.  I can only imagine...

Janna


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## icydog (May 21, 2009)

I think in general the drivers in Vegas are crazy. They don't obey traffic laws on the street so why would they do it in Costco's parking lot or in the warehouse itself. 

I loved the rant. It was so well done. As I said, it should be published. It is that funny.:rofl:

I don't live close to my Costco. One day I met a district real estate manager. I asked her why there are no Costco's close to me. She said it was a combination of two things.
1. I live in a middle class area of Jersey and as someone said they want at least a $75K income per family before they will build a store. My town is above that income but the small towns around me are not. 

2. Since I live in NJ real estate is very expensive. That's another reason why they don't put up a lot of stores here. 

I have to drive to Edison to get to my local Costco, 50 miles round trip. I do, however, have a gigantic Costco distribution warehouse 1.5 miles from my home, right at the turnpike exit, that clogs the byways with trucks all hours of day and night. I wonder why they couldn't build a retail warehouse in there to appease their neighbors.  I guess it is because of reasons 1 and 2. 

Meanwhile, I do shop at Sam's because it is more convenient. I like Costco a lot better but Sams is okay too. The people at my Sams are polite and very nice. The high end quality of goods and products is not the same but the everyday staples are there. 

What no one mentioned was the quality of Kirkland products. With only one or two exceptions, I find Kirkland to be far superior to the brand names. Try the Kirkland paper towels. They are much bigger and stronger than Bounty. Also, their chicken and fish are wonderful. 

We met a butcher one day at a yard sale. He had worked in the meat packing district in NYC for years. He said that Costco had, by far, the best meat in the business. He told me that Costco's meat is on par with fine restaurant quality meat. The best he has ever seen. He said that's the only place he would buy his meat. I was sold on the spot. 

So say what you will, I wish there was a Costco close to me. I think I would be there on a weekly basis instead of monthly or bi-monthly as I am now. If your wife works for Costco ask her to suggest a new retail warehouse store in Central NJ preferrably by Exit 8 on the NJ Turnpike.


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## ScoopKona (May 21, 2009)

icydog said:


> We met a butcher one day at a yard sale. He had worked in the meat packing district in NYC for years. He said that Costco had, by far, the best meat in the business. He told me that Costco's meat is on par with fine restaurant quality meat. The best he has ever seen. He said that's the only place he would buy his meat. I was sold on the spot.



Agreed on their meat. Their USDA prime ribeyes at $10 per pound are probably the best value anywhere.


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## icydog (May 21, 2009)

ScoopLV said:


> Agreed on their meat. Their USDA prime ribeyes at $10 per pound are probably the best value anywhere.


 I get compliments from my guests when I serve those Ribeyes. I don't eat red meat but everyone else in my family does. They tell me they are wonderful. I also buy their hamburgers. I divide them (horizontally) in half because they are so big and then freeze them. They are perfect for the grill. I, like Cindy, love the individually wrapped chicken. It makes storage so easy. I did not, however, see ones that were already seasoned. Where are they located? 

What bugs me is California, Florida, Arizona, Nevada all have so many warehouses. We want to spend money too. Doesn't Costco get that?


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## icydog (May 21, 2009)

Oh, and don't forget the cheap booze. I love their selection and so cheap!!!


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## ScoopKona (May 21, 2009)

icydog said:


> I did not, however, see ones that were already seasoned. Where are they located?



I've never seen those, either. They may be in the frozen sections, which I rarely visit.

Since I ranted about them, I may as well do some raving:

My favorite Costco items:

1) The $10/lb. USDA prime ribeyes
2) Bags of mussels at $3/lb. , when available
3) Kirkland champagne -- Wine Spectator 90 rating for $25/bottle
4) Their farmed rainbow trout at $3/lb.
5) Their whole-bean coffee. If you ever see the Rwandan coffee, buy with both hands. Rarely they will also carry Tanzanian peaberry, fill the cart when that happens.
6) Their Italian pasta -- Garafolo, is the name I believe. Again, buy with both hands.
7) Real buffalo mozzarella - $13 per tub where I live
8) Kirkland parmesan reggiano -- I wouldn't be without it
9) Their deli meats, always good.
10) Occasionally they carry ahi tuna, nice purple color at around $12/lb. I always stock up when this happens because it freezes well and I love sushi.
11) Steelhead trout -- far better quality than farmed salmon, with a better taste. I make gravlox and sushi with this.

I'm sure there are good values on prepared foods, but I'm not interested in that.

I wish they sold unsalted butter (I rarely indulge, but when I do, I want unsalted). I also wish they sold good extra virgin olive oil in the 2-liter tins. They sell olive oil, but it isn't first cold press and it's in plastic (so it will get lightstruck.)


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## Jestjoan (May 21, 2009)

DH and I enjoyed your post very much. He usually hates when I read anything to him from the computer. Your rant made him come over and read it himself. We laughed and laughed. Thanks.


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## stmartinfan (May 21, 2009)

ScoopLV said:


> I wish they sold unsalted butter (I rarely indulge, but when I do, I want unsalted). I also wish they sold good extra virgin olive oil in the 2-liter tins. They sell olive oil, but it isn't first cold press and it's in plastic (so it will get lightstruck.)



I saw some items on your list of "raves" I'll have to try.  Our Costco does carry unsalted butter.  It comes in a pack of 3 pounds (or maybe 4?).  Since unsalted doesn't keep as well, that's a lot, but I take out one pound, wrap the others and store them in my freezer.


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## Twinkstarr (May 21, 2009)

I do Costco on Wednesday nights about 6:30(drop my eldest off at Kempo Karate down the street). It's not too busy, but you do have the pokey people with those big carts. Not too many sample people out. 


Just a little miffed as they haven't had the big honking cases of Aquafina Flavor Splash that last 2 weeks. 

At ours, you see way more Lexus RX300's, MB's and BWV's than Monster Trucks. So my Audi is right at home.
And this is in Toledo, OH!


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## Nancy (May 21, 2009)

*Today*

We went to Costco today and I thought about your post.  Especially when DH pulled up to get gas and an older (than us which is saying something) man was pulled in the wrong direction.  There are arrows showing which way to come in!  On a side note, we got gas, went inside and Costco raised the price of gas 7 cents a gallon while we were inside (a very short time).  Glad we got gas first!

nancy


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## Passepartout (May 21, 2009)

Our Costco has both salted and unsalted butter in either whole pound blocks or quarters, and first cold pressing, dated E.V. olive oil. It's in Liter dark glass bottles, not tins. The flavored chicken breasts are in the cooler, not freezer. 
We may not be the best customers there, but we are greeted by name when we are there. Feels pretty good for a warehouse store.

Jim Ricks


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## geekette (May 22, 2009)

LOVE Costco!

Apparently we don't have the rude and insensitive people that some locations get.

I do enjoy the samples and have bought products because i have been able to try them.  

Cannot forget "The Tiramisu Lady."  She was calling out "Tirami- suuuuuu!" and we cattle herded ourselves over.  Her voice was high and full toned and fabulous.  Totally pulled us in.  She put us in a trance as she dished up the samples and explained how you could portion it out and freeze it and do this and that, how long it would keep in the fridge ...  I bought tiramisu that day.  Sure, it's not 'real' tira, but close enuf for me.  TIraMiSUUUUUUUUU!!!!

But one day, there was a family, Dad + 3 older teenage boys, and they would have a sample and wait there for the next batch and were pushy and rude about it.  Other than that episode, people are generally polite and considerate.  

Great staff, they keep the store and grounds clean, and when they move stuff (MY PET PEEVE) the employees seem to all know where everything is.  Well, they better, cuz I have my faves and I need to be able to find them!

Timeshare folks in particular might be interested in the Magic Bullet coupon that expires May 31 - you can get the gadget plus all the accessories (juicer/pitcher is not part of normal package you get) for, I think, $45 or so with tax. THat is a GREAT PRICE.  I swear by my Magic Bullet, so much better than a blender.  Great gift if anyone has weddings to attend or college grads starting new lives.


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## Tia (May 22, 2009)

Colorado would have a monster truck out in the parking lot, but think they are illegal in Minn., probably a good idea :ignore: 



stmartinfan said:


> Your rant made me smile.  But I have to wonder if your Costco is uniquely Nevada?  Here in Minn. I don't think I've ever seen a monster truck in the parking lot!  .......


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## ScoopKona (May 22, 2009)

geekette said:


> Timeshare folks in particular might be interested in the Magic Bullet coupon that expires May 31 - you can get the gadget plus all the accessories (juicer/pitcher is not part of normal package you get) for, I think, $45 or so with tax. THat is a GREAT PRICE.  I swear by my Magic Bullet, so much better than a blender.  Great gift if anyone has weddings to attend or college grads starting new lives.



Getting way off topic... I think a well accessorized stick blender is far more useful in the kitchen -- for building sauces, breaking down vichyssoise, grinding spices, whipping cream - well, everything. I wouldn't want something where I'd have to take the hot liquid out of the pot, blend it, then pour it back. (I whip a lot of hot liquids when I cook).

I'd get one of these instead:


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## UWSurfer (May 22, 2009)

geekette said:


> Timeshare folks in particular might be interested in the Magic Bullet coupon that expires May 31 - you can get the gadget plus all the accessories (juicer/pitcher is not part of normal package you get) for, I think, $45 or so with tax. THat is a GREAT PRICE.  I swear by my Magic Bullet, so much better than a blender.  Great gift if anyone has weddings to attend or college grads starting new lives.



Where is that coupon available?


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## tlwmkw (May 22, 2009)

Very funny/good rant.  Sadly we don't have a Costco- only a Sam's which we occasionally go to and it's not too bad- our WalMart next to the Sam's is terrible (more like your rant) and we stopped going there.

Funny story- the sweet little sample lady at Sam's is a regular and our kids got to know her.  One week we went and she wasn't there.  Our youngest child (then about 3) decided that she had just had a baby (maybe some friend had just had a sibling so it was on his mind) and proceeded to tell everyone at the store.  The woman is probably 80 years old and it raised a few eyebrows.  We forgot about it until the next time we went and he asked her about her new baby!  Luckily she didn't really understand what he was saying but it gave us a chuckle to think of the little old dear with her newborn.  He talked about it every time we went for a long time so we were careful to steer him away from her.


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## happymum (May 22, 2009)

I loved that at the Kauai Costco the samples were sumo-sized.


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## Passepartout (May 22, 2009)

UWSurfer said:


> Where is that coupon available?



You don't have to physically tote the coupon into the store. Buy the product and it automatically gives the price to members. I was amazed when this started at our warehouse a couple months ago. Very cool!

Jim Ricks


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## MuranoJo (May 23, 2009)

ScoopLV said:


> Getting way off topic... I think a well accessorized stick blender is far more useful in the kitchen -- for building sauces, breaking down vichyssoise, grinding spices, whipping cream - well, everything. I wouldn't want something where I'd have to take the hot liquid out of the pot, blend it, then pour it back. (I whip a lot of hot liquids when I cook).
> 
> I'd get one of these instead:



Scoop,
What model is that and what's a good price?  Hubby has started a new diet and blends protein drinks with ice, would that work?  Also would like to use it for sauces, etc., like you.


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## ScoopKona (May 23, 2009)

muranojo said:


> Scoop,
> What model is that and what's a good price?  Hubby has started a new diet and blends protein drinks with ice, would that work?  Also would like to use it for sauces, etc., like you.



I've never used the processor for ice -- I don't think the motor has enough "oomph" for that. There are some things where you just have to pull the blender out.

But for sauces and such, there's no comparison. Here's a link. I bought mine at "Bed Bath and Beyond Our Means" for $50, with a 20% coupon.

http://www.amazon.com/Cuisinart-CSB-77-Blender-Chopper-Attachments/dp/B0006G3JRO

It comes with a whisk attachment, too. If you buy one, throw that whisk attachment as far away as you possibly can. The whisk attachment has ONE use -- MAKING A REALLY BIG HORKIN' MESS. If you're going to experiment with the whisk attachment, do so whisking water. Trust me on this one.


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## pjrose (May 23, 2009)

*ROFL!*

Never been to Costco, and couldn't imagine what you could be ranting about.....

OMG, I have been laughing so hard :hysterical: I've made myself cry   so I can't see the screen, then I started to choke and cough, and now I have to go to the bathrooommmmmmm.

(A few minutes later....)

ok - back now - Have you thought of going on a comic show or writing?  Or perhaps applying to replace Letterman or Leno?  Oh yeah, forgot - you hate television  

And in answer to the question about the attraction of the free samples, it's because the calories don't count :whoopie:


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## Kal (May 23, 2009)

Did you ever check out the bags of carrots? The package is so heavy you need a fork lift to put it in the cart. Then if you do buy a bag within a month it's growin' enough shrubbery to fill a refrigerator.

The check-out lady says the only people buying those carrots are restaurant owners and people who feed them to horses.

I live about 10 minutes from Costco's Corporate HQ and it's fun to watch the "buyers" patrol the aisles in the adjacent Costco store.  They huddle up in front of some particular item and discuss all the issues.  I can just hear them saying:  "I can't believe anyone would buy that **** (sounds like 'carp')."


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## dori47 (May 24, 2009)

Your rant sounds about right to me. I only shop at Costco because I need supplies for my business. I can't imagine why most families shop there as I would never be able to go through half of a package of anything they sell at home, never mind all the RV's I find in the parking lot. Who has enough space to store Costco size packages in an RV?

Because of work I usually end up there at lunch time which is the WORST as of course people are there specifically to fill up on the free samples, and they all seem to be people who don't work, like seniors and mothers on maternity leave ( we have 12 month maternity leave here) so they are in no rush.

As it is lunch time and I have to rush back to work, I usually do stop at the concession, where they sell nothing healthy and do not have enough seats ( mostly because the same people who are there for the free samples are sitting and chatting with their buddies for hours on end in the food court) where I quickly consume a hotdog and pop or a slice of pizza before fighting the crowd trying to get out the door.

We used to have a store that sold all the same types of things as Costco, but you didn't have to be a member to shop there and they had better hours, but it closed down. It was never crowded ( no wonder it closed) I miss it


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## skulipeg (May 25, 2009)

Love the rant, although thankfully many of the experiences you've described do not occur in our Costco (although don't even get me started on our Wal-Mart, now that's a more comparable situation!)

The only thing I have to contribute to your rant would be waiting in the return line while the person in front of you successfully returns clothing that they purchased five years ago and have worn five hundred times, but are returning them because they put on weight over the winter and the clothing no longer fits.  Or the person in front of them, who successfully returns the three tubs of potato salad that are now three months past the expiry date and  have now gone bad.  Costco has an amazing return policy, but soooo many people take it way too far.

Thanks for the belly laughs,
Sandra


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## pgnewarkboy (May 26, 2009)

This is really a hysterical thread.  It turns out that COSTCO is not really a problem  at all!  Its those fat, elderly, undereducated, blue-collar, on a budget, poorly dressed,  ill-behaved people with their bratty children that are funny! You know all those people who get in the way when us really cool people are trying to make a purchase.   Man I could laugh at those people day and night and never stop laughing.  :hysterical: :hysterical:  

Man, when I was a  poor boy with the wrong accent, clothing, and manners me and my friends would get escorted out of any of the nice places just for showing up.  That whats really great about america!  Now I get to laugh my ass off at those slobs!:rofl:  It makes me really feel like I am great!


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## Ken555 (May 26, 2009)

happymum said:


> I loved that at the Kauai Costco the samples were sumo-sized.



The Kauai Costco was the nicest store I've ever visited - primarily because I was one of perhaps 100 shoppers. It was GREAT - we had aisles to ourselves


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## Ken555 (May 26, 2009)

BMWguynw said:


> 3.  The old guy at the exit door (and his peers) is checking your receipt to make sure you got what you paid for, specifically for big-ticket items.  What would you do if you got to your car and discovered you didn't have the diamond ring you just paid for?  And what would you expect Costco to do if that happened? Give you another one?  It saves both of you time and money.




Well... I'm not convinced about this. I understand the posted reason for stopping people at the door, but there are extremes which Costco goes to stop people from exiting that are rather infuriating. 

I stopped at Costco one evening a year or so ago, bought no more than four items and carried them out (no cart). The line was at least 15 deep and moving slowly. So, I simply walked out between the lines (after all, I was carrying everything). I looked at one of the checkers at the door, had my receipt in my hand, offered it to them, and walked out. Next thing I know is that security is after me, forcing me to stop and requiring me to return to the door so they could examine the receipt. I offered the receipt to security (I was now 40 feet outside the entrance/exit area) but he refused to look at it. I came very close to refusing and simply going to my car, but he told me I wouldn't wait in line, so went back so they could review my receipt.

Note, please, that at NO TIME have I ever exited Costco convinced the checker at the door actually looked at my receipt (and I've been a member for 20+ years). After all, I paid for the items and already went through one check (the register) - it's a bit ridiculous, in my opinion, to require it again at the door. Basically, it's a burden that shouldn't be required by any store. 

FWIW, other stores in my area that have similar procedures don't enforce it, because - I believe - the law might not really be on their side. They ask people to show receipts on exit, but if you don't they don't bother you at all. If only Costco was as enlightened.

Regardless, I also think Costco has great products and decent service. I find myself checking their online store more often these days and ordering there for convenience.


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## Fern Modena (May 26, 2009)

ScoopLV:
You need to watch your MIL's tires from now on.  She's very lucky she didn't have a blowout.  Quite often the sidewalls crack long before the tread is gone in our area (I live in Henderson, about a mile or so from Karen).  

Fern



ScoopLV said:


> So, MIL needed new tires. I don't know why, though. She's only been driving on this set for 15 years in the freakin' desert.   (No treads at all. Basically like driving on racing slicks.)


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## MelBay (May 26, 2009)

> > Getting way off topic... I think a well accessorized stick blender is far more useful in the kitchen -- for building sauces, breaking down vichyssoise, grinding spices, whipping cream - well, everything. I wouldn't want something where I'd have to take the hot liquid out of the pot, blend it, then pour it back. (I whip a lot of hot liquids when I cook).
> >
> > I'd get one of these instead:



ScoopLV & Muranojo, I have that exact same stick blender system & got mine at Costco about 6 months ago!  That is my one beef about our Costco.  I find somethere there I love, and I may be able to get it a second time, but 90% of the time I never see it again.  Very frustrating.  It's usually cleaning supplies or some kind of delicious food item.  Probably best for my butt that some of those food items are never available again.  :hysterical:


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## ScoopKona (May 26, 2009)

pgnewarkboy said:


> You know all those people who get in the way when us really cool people are trying to make a purchase.



Replace "cool" with "considerate" and I think you have it.


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## rsnash (May 27, 2009)

*Costco product rave*

There are some product raves above, so I thought I'd add one of mine: AmyLu's Chicken Sausages, especially the Andouille. 5-7 grams of fat per link. We use the chicken & cheese ones in omelets and the andouille for a lower fat version of gumbo. 

To touch on another rant, that you find a product you love and it disappears... The AmyLu Andouille was gone when I needed to get more (the original package was huge, 3- 1 lb packages per costco pack, and I used them rather sparingly from the freezer. I was bummed when they didn't have them next time I went back, and according to customer service, weren't going to. I looked up the company online and exchanged some emails direct w/AmyLu and then with Costco requesting, nay begging, them to restock it. I must not have been the only person doing so, because a couple months later, several varieties of their sausages were available again, including the Andouille.

 

Also - While Costco is expensive to join, I figured out that my supply of their brand of EggBeaters saved me over $10 per case vs buying actual EggBeaters at the supermarket. We go through about 2 cases per month, so just that item more than pays for our membership. Find your must buy item and see if it covers your membership to see if it's worth it to you.


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## Twinkstarr (May 27, 2009)

rsnash said:


> There are some product raves above, so I thought I'd add one of mine: AmyLu's Chicken Sausages, especially the Andouille. 5-7 grams of fat per link. We use the chicken & cheese ones in omelets and the andouille for a lower fat version of gumbo.
> 
> To touch on another rant, that you find a product you love and it disappears... The AmyLu Andouille was gone when I needed to get more (the original package was huge, 3- 1 lb packages per costco pack, and I used them rather sparingly from the freezer. I was bummed when they didn't have them next time I went back, and according to customer service, weren't going to. I looked up the company online and exchanged some emails direct w/AmyLu and then with Costco requesting, nay begging, them to restock it. I must not have been the only person doing so, because a couple months later, several varieties of their sausages were available again, including the Andouille.
> 
> ...




For us, the car rental discounts I've gotten for our Spring Break Florida trips have covered the cost of my membership. 

The Aquafina Flavor Splash, which has dissapeared was 7.99 for a 24 pack. Grocery stores,  it's $5 for 2 six packs, if it's on sale. 


I really like the Foster Farms Turkey meatballs, but they only seem to carry those in the fall/winter.


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## geekette (May 27, 2009)

Passepartout said:


> You don't have to physically tote the coupon into the store. Buy the product and it automatically gives the price to members. I was amazed when this started at our warehouse a couple months ago. Very cool!
> 
> Jim Ricks



Really?  I haven't noticed that before.

They mail out a coupon book every so often - once every couple months??  I think I've had this one for 3 weeks now or so and coupon expires May 31.


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## geekette (May 27, 2009)

muranojo said:


> Scoop,
> What model is that and what's a good price?  Hubby has started a new diet and blends protein drinks with ice, would that work?  Also would like to use it for sauces, etc., like you.



Magic Bullet will chop frozen stuff.  I make a breakfast smoothie every day using frozen strawberries.  Blend in the drinking cup, pop on the top and away I go.

I have one of those "wands", too, and love it - makes a lot of things easier!


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## pjrose (May 27, 2009)

MIL shops at a Costco on Long Island on the way to the Hamptons; DS spends his summers with the grandparents, so is the cart-pusher.  He says Scoop's rant doesn't fit the Costco they go to.  I've never been there.

MIL raves about their Salmon - Red River or something along those lines?  Dunno, I'm not a salmon fan.

Their little brownies are incredible.  I can easily eat six at a time, more if guilt didn't take over.


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## Icarus (May 27, 2009)

Somebody in the store (another member) pointed out to me once that all the coupons in the coupon book have the same code on them. Except for the product name on the other side, the coupons are all identical. I was looking at some while having lunch the other day, and indeed, the code on the back of each coupon was identical for all the items.

I haven't seen it that you don't need the coupon at all yet, at least at the one on Maui.

-David


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## DaveNV (May 27, 2009)

Icarus said:


> Somebody in the store (another member) pointed out to me once that all the coupons in the coupon book have the same code on them. Except for the product name on the other side, the coupons are all identical. I was looking at some while having lunch the other day, and indeed, the code on the back of each coupon was identical for all the items.



David, it's true.  I asked my spouse about this.  I was told it was started a year or so ago.  The reason they all have the same code is so the cashier only needs to scan one coupon, and it becomes a "master coupon" for the entire order.  Any and all other items you buy that may be on coupon special (even those you didn't know were on special) will reflect the discounted price.  The manufacturer requires Costco to turn in the coupon itself (even with the same code on the back) so that's why they collect the coupon from you.

Dave


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## ScoopKona (May 27, 2009)

BMWguynw said:


> so that's why they collect the coupon from you.
> 
> Dave



Not at my store. They hand the book back so we can use the same coupon multiple times. But the prices are not automatically reflected. We have to present the book.


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## honeybunney (May 28, 2009)

In San Francisco area, the Costco's here don't collect the coupons, but you have to bring the book with you even though it's automatically registers the discount.  They said the reason you have to show them the book is that not everyone gets a coupon book.


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## geekette (May 28, 2009)

honeybunney said:


> In San Francisco area, the Costco's here don't collect the coupons, but you have to bring the book with you even though it's automatically registers the discount.  They said the reason you have to show them the book is that not everyone gets a coupon book.



Hmmmm, that's interesting.  We have the Exec membership or whatever it's called, where you get 2% back at your anniversary time.  Are there any, um, Regular members that get the book??


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## ScoopKona (May 28, 2009)

geekette said:


> Hmmmm, that's interesting.  We have the Exec membership or whatever it's called, where you get 2% back at your anniversary time.  Are there any, um, Regular members that get the book??



I don't spend $25,000 in a given year at Costco, so I'm just an, um, Regular member. (In order to get the $500 membership fee back, I'd have to spend $25,000 in a year. I don't.)

I get a book every few weeks, along with e-mails.


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## Twinkstarr (May 28, 2009)

ScoopLV said:


> I don't spend $25,000 in a given year at Costco, so I'm just an, um, Regular member. (In order to get the $500 membership fee back, I'd have to spend $25,000 in a year. I don't.)
> 
> I get a book every few weeks, along with e-mails.



I only paid $100 for my exec. member.


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## ScoopKona (May 28, 2009)

Twinkstarr said:


> I only paid $100 for my exec. member.



Hmmm, I'll have to check that out -- I probably spend $5,000 in a year.


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## UWSurfer (May 28, 2009)

We had the basic Gold Star membership for years ($49) and while in a line we were approached by a Costco employee who was pushing the executive memberships.  

I was reluctant until she told me that it comes with the 2% rebate on your purchases annually and then looked up our purchasing history and was able to demonstrate not only would the rebate cover the increased cost for membership, but also generate a rebate of a couple hundred dollars a year.   Sold!


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## geekette (May 28, 2009)

Twinkstarr said:


> I only paid $100 for my exec. member.



ditto.  always make it back.


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## MuranoJo (May 29, 2009)

But how much do Exec members typically spend?   Sounds interesting.


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## Jim Bryan (May 29, 2009)

Great post! Thanks! :hysterical:


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## DaveNV (May 30, 2009)

The deal with membership fees:  

A Gold Star membership is $50, with no rebate given, regardless of how much you spend.  

An Executive membership is $100, and gives a 2% rebate on all purchases except gasoline and tobacco items.  So if you spend $2500 per year you'll break even - the 2% rebate will be $50, so it pays the difference between a Gold Star and Executive membership fee.  If you spend $5000 per year, the 2% rebate check will be $100, so it pays for the entire membership, and you basically shop for free.  Anything over $5000 will "make you money" above and beyond the membership fee.

Add in the Costco American Express card, and you'll gain an additional rebate.  They have different cards at different rates, so YMMV.

Hope this helps,
Dave


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## MuranoJo (May 30, 2009)

Thanks, Dave, that helps.  I'll have to seriously consider this, as it seems we never get out of the place without spending mucho bucks.


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## DaveNV (May 30, 2009)

muranojo said:


> Thanks, Dave, that helps.  I'll have to seriously consider this, as it seems we never get out of the place without spending mucho bucks.



I know how surprised people get when they see how much they've actually spent, and it does add up.  ($2500 a year is only a little over $200 per month.)  Next time you're in the warehouse, swing by the Member Services desk and ask them to run your shopping history, so you can decide whether to upgrade your membership.  They'll be able to tell you how much you've spent this fiscal year (it runs from September to August), and you can decide whether the upgrade is worth it.  Chances are good it will be - rebates for money you're already spending makes a lot of sense.

Be aware there is a maximum rebate of $500 on an Executive membership.  So if you plan to spend more than $25K a year, you won't earn any additional rebate.  But that's another topic.

Have fun,
Dave


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## ScoopKona (May 30, 2009)

So guess where I ended up today? _On a Saturday, no less._

Discovered that my passport would expire during my trip to China, so I needed passport pictures. Discovered that I had run over a wood screw with my car and needed a puncture repair.

_Even though Costco did not sell me the tires, they fixed the puncture for free._ It took two hours, because they were busy. 

So we ended up buying more LED light bulbs (get them for every can light in your house -- they take almost no electricity and generate almost no heat and last almost forever). 

I also found "blood orange soda" called Galvanina -- marketed kind of like Orangina. I think Orangina is just about the best soda ever invented, so I bought a case. Galvanina is OK, but a little too sweet. Oh well... 

Too bad Costco doesn't sell Gerolsteiner mineral water, there is no substitute. Perrier is force-carbonated and it's just not the same.

The customers at Costco today were even worse than Wednesday -- rude beyond belief. I imagine they haven't quite grasped the concept of an oral language, and just sort of "grunt" at each other at home. Perhaps they'll master fire someday, come down from the trees and join us in the civilized world. 

There was a woman there who was clearly as miffed as I was. She was standing alone in a sea of shopping carts, futilely trying to inch her way toward the register. Holding a Microsoft wireless keyboard, I heard her say, "Why do I do this to myself every week?"


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## Passepartout (May 30, 2009)

We are Exec members, plus DW has the Costco/AmEx card which gives (I think) 3 cents gas discount- big deal with her Prius! They don't scan or take the mail coupons at our warehouse either.  We upgraded after they ran her history and it showed that it paid off, plus we were buying a new flat screen TV. 

Jim Ricks


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