# Mexico if my husband won't go there



## dmharris (Oct 12, 2013)

My husband feels unsafe in Mexico.  But if I could get a resort perhaps in Cancun or Cabo, do you think that might be convincing that it's not in the heart of Mexico and would be safe?  I'd love to go to either destination.  Sigh. Please don't dump on my man, he's a wonderful guy; just protective of his love.


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## DeniseM (Oct 12, 2013)

Mine won't go either - and back in the day, he visited Mexico many times.

If I made a Resv. - he'd say, "Have a good time."


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## Free2Roam (Oct 12, 2013)

My sister and I visited Cancun in Dec 2011. We felt safe on and off the resort. The only scary part was the timeshare body snatchers at the airport!


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## ronandjoan (Oct 12, 2013)

We think Puerto Vallarta is still safe so we go there every year still


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## presley (Oct 12, 2013)

I have the same issue with my husband.  I want to go to Cabo, but he won't go and has actually said that I am not allowed to go.  I don't understand why.  He would let me go alone to Orlando and Orlando is way scarier than most places in Mexico.

I have been considering a cruise to Mexico.


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## buzglyd (Oct 12, 2013)

We are planning Grand Luxxe in Nuevo soon and I have zero worries about going.


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## Passepartout (Oct 12, 2013)

I think his fear is unfounded. Sure, there are incidents there, but far less than in the USA, and almost 100% involving people who are involved in the drug trade. For tourists, who stick to the tourist areas, Mexico may be one of the safer destinations. 

Now, that said, appeal to his logical side. For instance, in Cabo, it is not on any drug route, and is very safe. The stores are familiar- like Costco, WalMart, Target. Cabo Wabo- Ok, maybe nobody's immune to a hangover, but who can turn down a good-ol' American Margarita/sports bar? Cabo is very safe, and very un-Mexican. Hopefully a little research will convince him. Y'know there are self-contained resorts there. Take the resort's shuttle from/to the airport, and never leave the beautifully manicured grounds. He'd hardly know he wasn't in San Diego or Hawaii, or Key West.

Good Luck!
Jim


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## ilene13 (Oct 12, 2013)

We are going to the Grand Luxxe in Nuevo on Nov 2nd, Cancun in February and April.  We are not concerned as we feel that both are safe.


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## heathpack (Oct 12, 2013)

Maybe you, DeniseM and Presley should go together!  Presley will have to tell her husband that she's going to Orlando, I guess.

H


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## slip (Oct 12, 2013)

I have been to Cancun about 5 years ago and I did have a great time but I still
Have a funny feeling about going back. Maybe it's the horror stories about the
Corrupt police but I'm happy to keep returning to Hawaii.


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## eal (Oct 12, 2013)

My husband refuses to go to Mexico as well. Last February we landed in Mazatlan for 20 min to refuel on our way to Phoenix from Costa Rica (long story - volcano, strong winds in Phoenix) and he still tells the story about his last trip to Mexico and how great it was lol.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 12, 2013)

dmharris said:


> My husband feels unsafe in Mexico.  But if I could get a resort perhaps in Cancun or Cabo, do you think that might be convincing that it's not in the heart of Mexico and would be safe?  I'd love to go to either destination.  Sigh. Please don't dump on my man, he's a wonderful guy; just protective of his love.


There is no amount of information that will change his mind. None.  Don't bother trying to convince him with information. Don't waste your time and energy; if anything you will most likely make him even more determined.

That's because his reaction isn't based on information; it''s based on emotion.  We've had these discussions many times here on TUG, and those who don't want to go to Mexico because of perceptions of crime and violence are never persuaded by any amount of information.  

So you have to find some other way to approach it. Maybe a conversation he strikes up at the right moment with someone who has been there personally and who says it's not that way at all. Some TUGgers have reported making a trip to Mexico with great fear and hesitation, only to find out when they got there exactly how wrong they had been.

But I doubt that you will beat him with information.  Maybe it means going by yourself, and coming back having had a good time.  

******

FWIW - we go regularly to Puerto Vallarta and I think the main tourist areas in Puerto Vallarta are among the safest locations I've been to - certainly safer than almost any urban tourist locale in the US.  

If he would feel comfortable going to Waikiki, New Orleans, Times Square, or Washington D.C.,. he shouldn't feel uncomfortable in Cabo, PV, or Cancún.


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## hefleycatz (Oct 12, 2013)

My husband was that way at first, but now he loves mexico.  Just read all the threads here and stay within the hotel zones and you will have no problems.   You just can't beat the hospitality of the Mexican culture. 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4


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## oceanvps (Oct 12, 2013)

We were nervous about Mexico, hadn't been, decided to go to cabo in 2012, same logic as above its nowhere near the violence, almost in its own little world - but without the three year old since we didn't have a lay of the land so to speak.  i'd go back.. the weather seems like it's perfect all the time (we went in November).. but we prefer hawaii  

we stayed in cabo san lucas - club cascadas then moved to san jose del cabo worldmark kihei.  walked all over, couldn't decide if we were idiots for walking around all over but nothing happened to us other than the expected accosting by the timeshare guys on the street.

everyone very friendly and tried to give us directions if/when we looked lost


edit: the one thing we didn't do was rent a car because the stories we heard about that DID make us nervous however,  my co-worker went the same week almost and they rented a car and drove all over without a problem.


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## bjones9942 (Oct 12, 2013)

I've been going to Mazatlan annually for the last 4 years without a single problem.  I even purchased a timeshare in Puerto Vallarta which I'll be going to for the first time this November.  Like Jim said, most of the problems are between the drug cartel members.  Yes, there have been a very rare occasion where a tourist has become involved (I believe a Canadian man was shot in the leg a year or two ago), but that happens in every city (and worse).

You can always present your husband with crime statistics for the areas HE suggests you vacation in, but that might cause you to be stuck at home for the rest of your marriage!

Good luck.  If push comes to shove, you could always take a girls-only vacation with friends/family to PV or Cancun and leave the hubby at home.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 12, 2013)

bjones9942 said:


> I've been going to Mazatlan annually for the last 4 years without a single problem.  I even purchased a timeshare in Puerto Vallarta which I'll be going to for the first time this November.  Like Jim said, most of the problems are between the drug cartel members.  Yes, there have been a very rare occasion where a tourist has become involved (I believe a Canadian man was shot in the leg a year or two ago), but that happens in every city (and worse)..


In contrast, how many tourists have been assaulted on the Miracle Mile in Chicago?  How many in Times Square?

Those are so common they don't even make it into the newspaper.  But one tourist gets held up in Puerto Vallarta and according to US news media it's uncontrolled mayhem south of the border.  

The people in the tourists areas are not stupid.  They know what drives the economy and take care of it.  The last thing they want is for tourists to net feel safe visiting their towns, and they bend over  backwards to make it so. 

If  you venture outside of the tourist locales and choose to engage in non-standard tourist activities, the picture can change very quickly, just as it can in any urban area anywhere in the world.  If someone chooses to go that direction their experiences may vary, just as they would in almost any locale in the world.


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## Phydeaux (Oct 12, 2013)

Ask your husband if he's a man or a mouse. Well, squeak up...



Just kidding, sort of.


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## PStreet1 (Oct 13, 2013)

Show him
www.howsafeisMexico.com

Particularly the links on the left hand side of the screen.


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## Johnsp (Oct 13, 2013)

My wife and I go to Mexico twice a year, Cabo in April and Nuevo Vallarta in December. My wife's best friend comes with us to Grand Luxxe every December.  Her husband out of fear refuses to go.  She comes anyway and doesn't let him ruin her fun.  We all play a bunch of golf together and have a blast.  She feels as safe in Vallarta as she does at home.  She hasn't been able to convince her husband to give it a try.  Some people just can't be persuaded.


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## momeason (Oct 13, 2013)

I  went to Cancun with 2 girlfriends last year. 2 of us have husbands who did not want to go. We had a blast. There is also a Ladies group that is an offshoot of TUG. PM me and I can give you the scoop. They go to Mexico often and other places.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 13, 2013)

I worked in downtown Seattle, next to Pioneer Square in Seattle, which is one of the prime tourist areas in Seattle. DS and DIL live in Belltown, two blocks from the Space Needle.  As regards persoonal safety, there is no comparison between those areas and, for example the Malecon in Puerto Vallarta and downtown area in PV. Every year we do the art walk in PV, walking down some dark and narrow streets and sidewalks, with no problem whatsoever - settings that I would never venture into in downtown Seattle, or downtown San Francisco, Oakland, or San Jose (where I lived and worked for for almost 20 years).


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## karentrimmer (Oct 13, 2013)

*Mexico*

My husband and I go to Mexico twice a year and I have never felt unsafe.  We go to Cancun, Vallarta, and Riveria Maya.   Now, if your out in Downtown Cancun at 3 am I can't speak for it then but we have always felt safe and welcomed by Mexican people.


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## kwindham (Oct 13, 2013)

My husband is the same.  Not sure its fear or what, says he hasn't "lost" anything in MX

About this time last year I decided on cosmetic surgery.  After I shopped around and talked with tons of people I decided I was going to MX to have it done.  DH was all onboard until he heard MX pass my lips.  I thought he was going to have a heart attack right then and there.  He even went so far as to tell me he would not allow it!  :hysterical:  (he should know I wont be told what to do)    I told him I was a grown woman and perfectly capable of making my own medical choices on drs and locations.  He went to bed in a huff.   The next morning I got up, made my apt, paid my down pmt and scheduled my date for when he was going to be at work in Saudi.  I enlisted my Aunt and brother to go with me for help if needed getting around.  When I told him I was scheduled and he found out it was when he was working he was all hurt feeling's.  Im like seriously, you said you would have no part of this, I took you at your word. 

Long story short, we had a fabulous time even tho I was post major surgery.  He looks at the pictures and I can tell he wishes he would have went.  He will never admit to that, but oh well.  I actually felt safer in MX than I do in NOLA which is 3 1/12 hours from home for us.   You would think someone who works 1/2 the year in the middle east wouldn't be concerned about MX.   

I don't guess I will ever understand peoples reasoning for not visiting some beautiful places.  This is the way I see it, Whats the point in life if you don't live it?  Im adventurous and I want to see it all!


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## Pat H (Oct 13, 2013)

Have been to MX several times and will be going to Nuevo and Cabo for 2 weeks in March. It's all women. I have no fear of going or getting on a bus to go to downtown PV. Then again, I love walking around Manhattan day or night even by myself. I don't walk down dark alleys or stray too far from the main drag. 

BTW Ladies, you can go to http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/LadiesVacation/info or click on my name here and ask to join. Please include your real name, TUG name and your email address.


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## jules54 (Oct 13, 2013)

*Mexico Travel*

Many years ago when my husband was just my boyfriend he was not to happy to be traveling to Mexico. I talked him into it and since then 1995 he has been going and talking others into joining us through the years.
I have traveled to both Cancun/Playa Del Carmen and Cabo totally by myself(woman)over 50. Ride buses and take cabs, rent cars and do not speak Spanish. I pay close attention to my surroundings and what time of the day or night it is. Security at the resorts where I stay is always top notch.
We took our teenage granddaughter to Cabo last year and was never worried at any time for her or our safety. Though the years I have noticed what slows down travel most to Mexico is the economy more then anything else.


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## easyrider (Oct 13, 2013)

I can understand not wanting to go to Mexico. There was a time that I didn't want anything to do with travel to Mexico. Not for safety reasons but more for language reasons. My thought back then was I wouldn't be able to communicate with the skippers on the fishing boats. I was wrong. 

The reason we went originally was a friend that owned a 2 bed penthouse in Cabo wanted to treat us on our wedding anniversary. After going and doing some things like buying my first time share then canceling my first timeshare, I about gave up on Mexico, but then I went fishing and had multiple marlin hook ups so Im all in now.

Bill


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## PStreet1 (Oct 13, 2013)

Mexicans say, "In Mexico, bad people die; in the U.S., innocents die."

There's a lot of truth there.  In Mexico, drug people kill drug people, and frankly, most people don't care much.  In the U.S., you can go to a festival in Tulsa and 5 people get shot; you can be a cop in Seattle in a coffee shop and be shot; you can go to a political rally in Tucson and be shot, or be an elementary age child shot at school.  Things like that don't happen in Mexico.


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## Born2Travel (Oct 13, 2013)

My DH wants nothing to do with Mexico either so I'm going with the LadiesVacation group and PatH in March. (NV for one week) This will be my first trip to Mexico and it's never been high on my list, (probably because the DH didn't want to go) but I figured it's time to try it.  I'm not worried since I will be with the group.


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## Passepartout (Oct 13, 2013)

Born2Travel said:


> My DH wants nothing to do with Mexico either so I'm going with the LadiesVacation group and PatH in March. (NV for one week) This will be my first trip to Mexico



You'll have a great time. Just watch out for the TS 'bodysnatchers' and the margaritas. If it was good enough for Liz and Dick, it oughtta be good enough for you.


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## geekette (Oct 13, 2013)

dmharris said:


> My husband feels unsafe in Mexico.  But if I could get a resort perhaps in Cancun or Cabo, do you think that might be convincing that it's not in the heart of Mexico and would be safe?  I'd love to go to either destination.  Sigh. Please don't dump on my man, he's a wonderful guy; just protective of his love.



It could absolutely be convincing, but be prepared to go without him and have a great time.

I was able to convince several friends and family members that had never left the US to go to Cabo and they loved it.  Hey, Oprah and Bill Gates have homes there, how creepy could it be?  Don't drive, that cuts anxiety.

I'm not into arm-twisting people, tho, and only you know your relationship.  Maybe he gets a trip that you don't want to go on (dunno, fishing hunting camping sporting/hobby event...)

If you REALLY want to go to Cabo, please do.  I love it there and keep returning even tho there are so many other parts of the world I have yet to explore.


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## geekette (Oct 13, 2013)

presley said:


> I have the same issue with my husband.  I want to go to Cabo, but he won't go and has actually said that I am not allowed to go.  I don't understand why.  He would let me go alone to Orlando and *Orlando is way scarier than most places in Mexico.*
> I have been considering a cruise to Mexico.



bolded part    :hysterical:

cruise - there was a royal carribean itinerary out of Galveston that visited some cities with ruins...


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## VacationForever (Oct 13, 2013)

My fear of going to Mexico is about the same as getting on a plane.  I hate flying but will fly to get to places.  I know that I will have a great time in Mexico but there is still an inherent fear.  If you let fear take over you then you stop living.


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## hefleycatz (Oct 13, 2013)

I guess I would suggest Cabo first, since it is the most non-mexican setting. Kinda like being in southern CA. The airport is nice. Cancun is also a good option for first timers. Easier plane connections, I think. 

Lee 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4


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## rickandcindy23 (Oct 13, 2013)

I know a TUGger (rarely posts) who told his story once here.  I don't know if he posts on TUG anymore.  He had a scary experience.  He was in Cancun, he and his wife and another couple.  They chose one of the private bus excursions to see some ruins (don't remember what exactly), and the federalis stopped the bus and walked up and down the aisles of the bus with guns and rifles, asking people for their identification.  Scared the pee out of him.  

He never went to Mexico again and bought two more weeks on Maui. 

His story didn't scare me off from Mexico, but a friend of ours went to Mexico two years ago and was sitting at a table in a bar.  There was a gunfight in the bar.  Several people were killed.  It made the national news.  

Still not sure I am afraid of going.  I just love Hawaii, and we go twice per year fairly cheaply.  I haven't felt a need to go to Mexico.


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## b2bailey (Oct 13, 2013)

My husband was certain he did not want to go ANYWHERE in Mexico, but then grand-daughter asked for us to escort a group of friends to Cabo for a graduation party of sorts. I finally convinced him to go because I told him I would go without him. The funniest part was that we just happened to be there when the 2012 G20 Summit was going on. Our timeshare was pretty well over-run with the federales who were staying there while guarding one or more of the heads of nations.


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## VacationForever (Oct 13, 2013)

rickandcindy23 said:


> His story didn't scare me off from Mexico, but a friend of ours went to Mexico two years ago and was sitting at a table in a bar.  There was a gunfight in the bar.  Several people were killed.  It made the national news.



Going to a local bar is just not a good idea.  Heck, there are often fights and shooting at the local bars in the city where I live in right now!


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 14, 2013)

rickandcindy23 said:


> I know a TUGger (rarely posts) who told his story once here.  I don't know if he posts on TUG anymore.  He had a scary experience.  He was in Cancun, he and his wife and another couple.  They chose one of the private bus excursions to see some ruins (don't remember what exactly), and the federalis stopped the bus and walked up and down the aisles of the bus with guns and rifles, asking people for their identification.  Scared the pee out of him.
> 
> He never went to Mexico again and bought two more weeks on Maui.
> 
> His story didn't scare me off from Mexico, but a friend of ours went to Mexico two years ago and was sitting at a table in a bar.  There was a gunfight in the bar.  Several people were killed.  It made the national news.


Cindy- anyone can post stores like that about any locale.  One or two stories doesn't define anything. 

You like Hawaii.  So let me tell you a personal story.  Our son was in a group of kids who were assaulted on Anahola Beach.  they were singled out specifically because they were tourists and though no one was hospitalized some of the kids received medical attention and several of the women had some of their clothing ripped off of them.  Kauai police blew it off; didn't do anything because they were haoles on Anahola after dark.  Essentially told them that they should have known better.  

But that doesn't stop us from going.  But it took about ten years until my sone was willing to return to Hawaii.  But now he's come back.  

I have another son who absolutely refuses to return to Hawaii. He was with us one time, but got a bunch of stink-eye and he won't return.  So he and his wife go to Cayman every year.  

Then about a year there was the situation of two tourists from Great Britain who were in Miami Beach, and decided to walk about a mile to a nearby 24-hour restaurant.  They made a wrong turn, and both of them were assaulted and killed. 

And about ten years ago there was a group in Florida, around Orlando if I remember correctly, that seemed to be targeting German tourists for robberies and assaults.  Set off the kind of hysteria in Germany about going to Florida that we usually see about violence in Mexico.

Then in the last couple of years there have been several cases in California of tourists going to stadium to cheer on their home town who was the visiting team, and those have been brutally assaulted by local fans. If a person is going to hold to that kind of logic, they should never go to an out-of-town stadium in the US as a fan of the visiting team because not just once, but at least twice now, such fans have been assaulted.


rickandcindy23 said:


> Still not sure I am afraid of going.  I just love Hawaii, and we go twice per year fairly cheaply.  I haven't felt a need to go to Mexico.



We love Hawaii too, and we've been going there almost every year for fifteen years now. Then about six years ago we started going to Mexico in February.  And we've started going back almost every year.  For both trips I use our Alaska Airlines companion fares, and we do our timeshares.  

But one of the things I love is that the week we spend in Mexico costs us about one-third of what it costs us in Hawaii.  The air fare is cheaper. The food is cheaper.  When we do activities it's cheaper.  We skip car rental.  

The people are gracious and hospitable.  And on top of all that, *it's safer than Hawaii!!* Downtown Puerto Valllarta vs. Waikiki??? No comparison.


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## mav (Oct 14, 2013)

rickandcindy23 said:


> I know a TUGger (rarely posts) who told his story once here.  I don't know if he posts on TUG anymore.  He had a scary experience.  He was in Cancun, he and his wife and another couple.  They chose one of the private bus excursions to see some ruins (don't remember what exactly), and the federalis stopped the bus and walked up and down the aisles of the bus with guns and rifles, asking people for their identification.  Scared the pee out of him.
> 
> He never went to Mexico again and bought two more weeks on Maui.
> 
> ...




   My husband and I took the bus from Jerusalem to Palestine where we were spending 6 nights while visiting Israel this past April/May, and at the border crossing between Israel and Palestine the Israelie guards boarded  the bus with machine guns to check ID"s and passports. This happened both entering and leaving Palestine. It really was an experience. Oddly enough I was not alarmed in any way. I guess you get used to seeing  thingslike this   In recent years armed guards are at many European airports, especially Munich and Frankfort, I regularly see armed guards driving in Cancun trying to keep anything happening there, tanks , soldiers etc. in Egypt, and guards all over Palestine.  
    On another note while in Palestine we stayed at the Intercontinental Jacir Palace and it was a beautiful hotel with a lovely staff.


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## Phydeaux (Oct 14, 2013)

rickandcindy23 said:


> *a friend of ours went to Mexico two years ago and was sitting at a table in a bar.  There was a gunfight in the bar.  Several people were killed.*  It made the national news.



Your friend was at _that_ bar??? Really? Did you ask them what in the world they were doing at that sleazy, locals drug haunt? I'd be more interested in _that_ part of the story....


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## kwindham (Oct 14, 2013)

geekette said:


> bolded part    :hysterical:
> 
> cruise - there was a royal carribean itinerary out of Galveston that visited some cities with ruins...



Our first MX experience was via cruise.  We did horseback riding to the ruins.  I hated it (horses and I don't get along) but get this, DH loved it.  This was Cozumel in 2006.  He hasn't returned to MX since, I have.


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## ilene13 (Oct 14, 2013)

mav said:


> My husband and I took the bus from Jerusalem to Palestine where we were spending 6 nights while visiting Israel this past April/May, and at the border crossing between Israel and Palestine the Israelie guards boarded  the bus with machine guns to check ID"s and passports. This happened both entering and leaving Palestine. It really was an experience. Oddly enough I was not alarmed in any way. I guess you get used to seeing  thingslike this   In recent years armed guards are at many European airports, especially Munich and Frankfort, I regularly see armed guards driving in Cancun trying to keep anything happening there, tanks , soldiers etc. in Egypt, and guards all over Palestine.
> On another note while in Palestine we stayed at the Intercontinental Jacir Palace and it was a beautiful hotel with a lovely staff.



You were in Bethlehem.


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## HatTrick (Oct 14, 2013)

Passepartout said:


> Y'know there are self-contained resorts there. Take the resort's shuttle from/to the airport, and never leave the beautifully manicured grounds. He'd hardly know he wasn't in San Diego or Hawaii, or Key West.



Then why bother? May as well go to San Diego or Hawaii, or Key West.


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## Passepartout (Oct 14, 2013)

HatTrick said:


> Then why bother? May as well go to San Diego or Hawaii, or Key West.



Then the OP gets to go to Mexico- accompanied by her husband- which is what she wants. And HE gets insulated from his perceived 'danger' of Mexico, which is what he wants. Win-Win.

I agree that going to a self-contained resort isn't my cup-o'-tea, but neither is vacationing alone.


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## presley (Oct 14, 2013)

I always wanted to go to Cabo, but after reading all these posts, I probably won't.  If it isn't like Mexico, it's not worth my time.

The main thing I want to do in Mexico is shop for family made goods.  My family went to Tijuana annually for shopping and touristy stuff when I was a kid.  Of course, when I became a young adult, I went to some clubs down there.  Lots of fun dance clubs with margaritas for the younger adults.

I really miss the shopping from the handmade family businesses.  Do they have that in Cabo?  Maybe I need to go to Ensenada.


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## ilene13 (Oct 14, 2013)

presley said:


> I always wanted to go to Cabo, but after reading all these posts, I probably won't.  If it isn't like Mexico, it's not worth my time.
> 
> The main thing I want to do in Mexico is shop for family made goods.  My family went to Tijuana annually for shopping and touristy stuff when I was a kid.  Of course, when I became a young adult, I went to some clubs down there.  Lots of fun dance clubs with margaritas for the younger adults.
> 
> I really miss the shopping from the handmade family businesses.  Do they have that in Cabo?  Maybe I need to go to Ensenada.



We lived in Guadalajara 41 years ago, which helped to create our love for Mexico.  We go to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera three times a year.  We love it.  About 5 years ago we went to Cabo.  We hated it-- we felt that was an extension of California.  They did not even use pesos.  We are going to Puerto Vallarta in two weeks-- we have not been there in 40 years-- so we will see!


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## bethy (Oct 14, 2013)

We travel frequently and about equally to Mexico, Hawaii and SoCal.  With young children.  I feel about an equal amount of unease in all three places.  And each locale has it's plusses and minuses, which is why we rotate.  Our last three trips have been to Hawaii.  We are ready for a change and our next two beach trips are to Mexico (Playa del Carmen and either Cabo or PV).  We need our Mexico fix - I like the food better in Mexico and also the locals - they are waaaaaay friendlier.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 14, 2013)

presley said:


> I always wanted to go to Cabo, but after reading all these posts, I probably won't.  If it isn't like Mexico, it's not worth my time.
> 
> The main thing I want to do in Mexico is shop for family made goods.  My family went to Tijuana annually for shopping and touristy stuff when I was a kid.  Of course, when I became a young adult, I went to some clubs down there.  Lots of fun dance clubs with margaritas for the younger adults.
> 
> I really miss the shopping from the handmade family businesses.  Do they have that in Cabo?  Maybe I need to go to Ensenada.



Our first trip to Mexico was Cancún - actually that was DW and DD. I stayed home and replaced the floors in the dining room.  They enjoyed it, and that kind of broke the ice for DW.

So a few later she was amenable when a TUGger offered us a direct exchange for a condo they owned in Cabo.  We enjoyed that, but decided to go to Puerto Vallarta for our next visit.  

And we definitely like Puerto Vallarta over Cabo, for just that reason.  We've decided that if we were ever to get to Cancún together, we would like to stay in Isla Mujeres.  And I have my eyes on Zihuatanejo and Oaxaca.  Though Oaxaca most likely would be just me.


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## Passepartout (Oct 14, 2013)

Cabo 'feels' like an extension of California. Cancun/Riviera Maya 'feel' like S.Florida to me. If I want a more Mexican experience, I choose PV, Guadalajara, or Zihuatanejo. Ymmv.


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## Phydeaux (Oct 14, 2013)

My family and I have been vacationing in the Cancun/Playa del Carmen area for the past 20+ years. Went to PV once and didnt care for it at all. Seemed like San Diego to me. Best day there was when we left and did a day trip to Yalapa. To each their own..


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## rickandcindy23 (Oct 14, 2013)

> Downtown Puerto Valllarta vs. Waikiki??? No comparison.
> __________________



Not a fan of Waikiki, but we have a lot of relatives and friends who live on Oahu. a very recent and strange migration from San Diego, Colorado, Nebraska and Wyoming.  I cannot explain it. 

We have a wedding coming up in June, supposed to be on Oahu.  Rick and I aren't going, necessarily, even though it's our niece.  We are going to Napa the week before and the Big Island in August.  A third trip to Hawaii definitely doesn't appeal to me.  

I said I wasn't afraid to go to Mexico. :rofl:


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## Phill12 (Oct 14, 2013)

dmharris said:


> My husband feels unsafe in Mexico.  But if I could get a resort perhaps in Cancun or Cabo, do you think that might be convincing that it's not in the heart of Mexico and would be safe?  I'd love to go to either destination.  Sigh. Please don't dump on my man, he's a wonderful guy; just protective of his love.



Why don't you listen to your man and just trust his feelings and go some where else!
 We owned in PV Mexico back in early 80's as we won a week there from the Oakland A's game and as many others fell for the BS and bought. First timeshare and enjoyed taking friends there twice but one was robbed by the a cab driver. Went back after selling it to Cancun twice with friends and loved the resorts but felt unsafe anytime we were away from the resort.

 There are to many other places to visit and we have never been back to Mexico and never will again.

 PHILL12


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## easyrider (Oct 14, 2013)

Depending on the neighborhood, Oahu can be both friendly or hostile. If your going out to have some drinks in Waikiki its better for tourists to stay in the tourist clubs and not at bars like the Hideaway. I like the Hideaway but it might be the best place in Hawaii to see a fight at the table next to you. I definitely wouldn't take my wife here. In fact, I would say that most of Hawaii needs an attitude adjustment. You get Aloha Spirit only if your paying for it, imo.

I haven't ever had a problem staying out to the wee hours in PV or Cabo. Even at the locals bar with my wife. We venture out quite a bit and last year stopped at a regular persons home so the girls could use the bathroom. We didn't realize it was a private home until after the owner who only spoke a little english let the girls in to use the bathroom. Once inside they realized it was a home. Anyway, we did make a new friend.

Bill


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## pammex (Oct 15, 2013)

you cannot change someone's mind they have to do that.  I am here in mexico , outside of Guadalajara, at Lake Chapala.  I travel all over Mexico, to coastal and inner areas...with hubby, friends, mom what have you, raised two kids here, they are grown now.  Been here 15 years...feel much safer here than in USA though maybe some things more stressful, like paying bills and language etc.  I have yet to hear of a school shooting, a mall shooting or a drive by shooting..hmmm...so pretty m7uch a safe place to be a tourist as long as you are not involved ind rug trade or looking for trouble.  Off to Mazatlan next monday for 2 weeks , driving, about 7 hours to get there, no fear.

As far as federales or police having rifles and guns etc...maybe if they had that outside and inside banks and on highways etc. as they do here there might be less shootouts at schools, malls etc..An officer with a gun is a scary or imposing sight..but they are not gonna shoot you  for no reason.  Checkign ID's is for your own safety, they do  not have an immigration or illegal immigration problem here..they enforce the laws, you are illegal, on a bus, guess what you are not gonna be shot but you will be deported...


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## am1 (Oct 16, 2013)

rickandcindy23 said:


> His story didn't scare me off from Mexico, but a friend of ours went to Mexico two years ago and was sitting at a table in a bar.  There was a gunfight in the bar.  Several people were killed.  It made the national news.



If that makes the national news then it must be a pretty safe area.  It is when it does not make the national news you should be worried.


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## PStreet1 (Oct 16, 2013)

pammex said:


> you cannot change someone's mind they have to do that.  I am here in mexico , outside of Guadalajara, at Lake Chapala.  I travel all over Mexico, to coastal and inner areas...with hubby, friends, mom what have you, raised two kids here, they are grown now.  Been here 15 years...feel much safer here than in USA though maybe some things more stressful, like paying bills and language etc.  I have yet to hear of a school shooting, a mall shooting or a drive by shooting..hmmm...so pretty m7uch a safe place to be a tourist as long as you are not involved ind rug trade or looking for trouble.  Off to Mazatlan next monday for 2 weeks , driving, about 7 hours to get there, no fear.
> 
> As far as federales or police having rifles and guns etc...maybe if they had that outside and inside banks and on highways etc. as they do here there might be less shootouts at schools, malls etc..An officer with a gun is a scary or imposing sight..but they are not gonna shoot you  for no reason.  Checkign ID's is for your own safety, they do  not have an immigration or illegal immigration problem here..they enforce the laws, you are illegal, on a bus, guess what you are not gonna be shot but you will be deported...



We're in a supposedly dangerous area, 30 miles south of the border with San Diego; we live here 6 mts. or more of each year.  The big crime news here?  A pharmacy had its shelves cleaned out overnight.  That's a problem for the owner, and it's unfortunate.  Are tourists in danger?  No.  We're safe, and like you, we go where we want to go when we want to go.  We drive to San Diego (for doctors' appointments/shopping/to see a movie/etc.) and back to Rosarito often.  All our friends do the same; NOT ONE PERSON has experienced a problem--and that's in over 15 years.  Since all of us drive cars with U.S. plates/look American/have no local connections to buy us special consideration/etc., I think that says volumes:  if the urban myths had truth in them, some of us would have experienced a problem, and if anyone had, you can bet it would be the talk of the community.


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## PStreet1 (Oct 16, 2013)

presley said:


> Maybe I need to go to Ensenada.



If you decide to visit the Rosarito Beach (where we live) and Ensenada area, I can recommend restaurants, etc.


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## rickandcindy23 (Oct 16, 2013)

Phydeaux said:


> Your friend was at _that_ bar??? Really? Did you ask them what in the world they were doing at that sleazy, locals drug haunt? I'd be more interested in _that_ part of the story....



It was near the resort, whatever resort it was.  I don't know why people venture away from the resorts.  Our son and daughter-in-law are going to Puerto Vallarta in May for their anniversary.  I am not warning them off or concerned.


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## aliikai2 (Oct 17, 2013)

*Mexico is a state of mind...*

We spend around 8 weeks a year in Mazatlan and wander all over the city taking buses or walking, riding cabs, and have never been concerned with safety. 
But I know of many people that are terrified by the thought of going to Mexico. 

I guess it is really a mindset and those that love it do and those that are scared or hate it also do. 

I am much more concerned with the few days we have coming up in New Orleans....

Greg


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## siesta (Oct 17, 2013)

People fear that which they dont understand.  If people have been to Mexico recently, and for whatever reason didt like it, or didnt feel safe, and dont want to return you cant really argue with that. Its opinion, and you just respect that its different strokes for different folks.

But when you have someone that has never been there, or hasnt been there in decades,and refuses to go because of a random story out of millions of safe trips, or the media articles using attention grabbing headline tactics and peddling fear for ratings, you are just plain ignorant and downright foolish. But noone is missing out but you.

There are two things humans often do when presented with information they dont like, deny it or try to rationalize it.  When people are presented with hard statistical data that their favorite travelling destinations and even there closest US city is usually *significantly* more dangerous then a Mexico tourist city, the responses are classic, and belong in a sociology study on irrational thought processes.


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## geekette (Oct 17, 2013)

rickandcindy23 said:


> It was near the resort, whatever resort it was.  I don't know why people venture away from the resorts.  Our son and daughter-in-law are going to Puerto Vallarta in May for their anniversary.  I am not warning them off or concerned.



We agree that Cabo ain't quite mainland, but I have ventured far from the resort and got stuck with plenty of others at a washed out road as it became night.  Sure, we had been warned to not drive after dark in non-tourist areas, but at that point there was no choice.  Nothing bad happened and in fact I got to hang with the locals and see what hard working and industrious people lived there.

That said, even at home I don't venture into random bars, so wouldn't do it on vacation, but, leaving the tourist area, yes, I would do that, but sensibly.  And if necessary, with a hired driver that comes highly recommended.

Something like, know where the danger might be, and avoid that.  But never, go to the resort and do not leave it until check out day.  I do not want to visit where that is necessary as I don't consider that vacation.  But so far not scared away from anywhere.


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## Phill12 (Oct 17, 2013)

Just remember it only takes one time to get robbed or killed in Mexico! We enjoyed Mexico as owners but even things back in the eighties didn't feel safe to us or our friends. 
 In our three trips to Puerto Vallarta we had one of our friends robbed by cab driver. One trip four of us sitting in a nice café on the main street looking at the water while eating lunch and had group of cops run in and go upstairs and shoot someone. One trip we went on a beautiful horse back ride for three hours in the country. While having lunch at one of the tour stops we had police come in jeeps and horse back to take us out as they had report of bandits planning to rob all of us on return trip. This had happened already twice that year and the police fully armed rode through town on both sides of our group back to the stable area. We were lucky to be safe but only because  lucky breaks in Mexico.
 One trip and I guess you couldn't blame Mexico but our flight from San Francisco drop us off in PV then goes to Mexico City. Our second trip there and we hear the news that our flight crashed leaving Mexico City for return flight to San Francisco. Mexico Air lines. 

 This was enough for us and we sold our condo and only made two more vacations to Mexico. Went with friends to Cancun where one of the families robbed again by a cab driver with a knife. Resort told our friends point blank the cops would do nothing more than take most of the money if they found the cab driver.:annoyed:

 If someone listening to the news of killings doesn't feel safe going then no one should even question why!

 Phill12


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## sjuhawk_jd (Oct 17, 2013)

dmharris said:


> My husband feels unsafe in Mexico.  But if I could get a resort perhaps in Cancun or Cabo, do you think that might be convincing that it's not in the heart of Mexico and would be safe?  I'd love to go to either destination.  Sigh. Please don't dump on my man, he's a wonderful guy; just protective of his love.



Take him to another place that can be dangerous (but he probably thinks it is safe), such as Jamaica. Overall, Jamaica is safe in my opinion, as long as you are careful about where you go, how you go, and the time of the day (just like any other big city in USA). Once he comes back in one piece, he may open up to traveling dangerously


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## DebBrown (Oct 17, 2013)

If I had to pick, I'd go with Cabo.  We prefer San Jose del Cabo which is a bit quieter and not such college age hangout.  Next January we are going back to Nuevo Vallarta and I feel pretty good about that too.  

I don't think I'll ever return to Mazatlan.  As much as I hate to say it, it is in the midst of the drug wars.  While we were here we heard gun shots from our hotel and witnessed the aftermath at the US embassy where bodies were dumped and the windows shot out.

Deb


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## geekette (Oct 17, 2013)

DebBrown said:


> If I had to pick, I'd go with Cabo.  We prefer San Jose del Cabo which is a bit quieter and not such college age hangout.  Next January we are going back to Nuevo Vallarta and I feel pretty good about that too.
> 
> I don't think I'll ever return to Mazatlan.  As much as I hate to say it, it is in the midst of the drug wars.  While we were here we heard gun shots from our hotel and witnessed the aftermath at the US embassy where bodies were dumped and the windows shot out.
> 
> Deb



oh my!  I can see how that might not be the peaceful relaxing vaca you envisioned.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 17, 2013)

Phill12 said:


> If someone listening to the news of killings doesn't feel safe going then no one should even question why!
> 
> Phill12



Why, then would I ever visit any area in the Central Valley, such as Tracy, Modesto, or God forbid, Stockton??  Lot's of news of killings, gangs, drug violence, rapes, assaults on disabled people, etc., in those locales.  

*******

The gist of your comment seems to be that if someone feels unsafe, that should not be questioned.  

Personally I think that learning to correct and adjust misconceptions makes for a more satisfying life, particularly where those misconceptions involve unnecessarily living in fear. When I care for someone I like to see them be a better person, so I will help them with their misconceptions.  I have friends and family who do that for me, and I appreciate.  

You, of course, should certainly feel free to conclude otherwise.


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## rickandcindy23 (Oct 17, 2013)

aliikai2 said:


> We spend around 8 weeks a year in Mazatlan and wander all over the city taking buses or walking, riding cabs, and have never been concerned with safety.
> But I know of many people that are terrified by the thought of going to Mexico.
> 
> I guess it is really a mindset and those that love it do and those that are scared or hate it also do.
> ...



Hi Greg!  How are you doing?  Is your website down?  

Totally off subject, but I am hoping to help a friend with a week in February.  He owns VI points himself, but he didn't book Hololani when he should have and wants to add a 3rd week to his two weeks in West Maui.  I will send you a PM.


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## presley (Oct 17, 2013)

PStreet1 said:


> If you decide to visit the Rosarito Beach (where we live) and Ensenada area, I can recommend restaurants, etc.



Thanks for that.  Ironically, I was telling my son a couple days ago that if he went to Rosarito with me, I "knew" someone online who lived there half the time and could tell us where to go.  

I have bad memories of Rosarito, but after some thought, I realized my negative associations with the area is that the 2 times I went there as a kid, I was with drunk, ignorant adults.  I'm still traumatized over the time my friend's mom's boyfriend ran over a dog there and then laughed it off and said, "That will be the family's dinner tonight." I could give more stories, but take my word for it.  I was with drunk, ignorant adults.  :ignore:

I see that Worldmark has a resort down there.  I really want to stay there for a couple nights.  I would probably need a big truck to bring back everything that I want to buy from the vendors.  Still working on talking someone in the family to join me.  My son is completely fluent in Spanish and would be really helpful, but he thinks there are drug cartels everywhere.


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## Passepartout (Oct 17, 2013)

A case can be made for the danger of ANYWHERE in the world if you choose to. Even in a small town on the high plains of NW United States. Or anywhere else. I suspect that even in the OP's hometown newspaper there are reports of local violence. It has nothing to do with locale, it's people. And people with guns. And people with drugs and guns. That spells violence and trouble anywhere.

Yes, there has been violence in Mexico. But the truth is that since the last election, with the crackdown on the drug cartels, there is MUCH less violence. Many of the drug overlords are rotting in prisons or in the ground. 

It is rare (though not unknown) for innocent tourists to be caught in the crossfire. But generally, if one stays away from the loud local hangouts with the shiny lowered cars out front, and has nothing to do with the drugs trade, all you will get out of a vacation in Mexico will be a tan, a hangover, and a love for some of the warmest, most inviting people on this continent.

I'll be there for much of January and am sorry we'll miss you.

Jim


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## aliikai2 (Oct 17, 2013)

Hi Cindy, not just the website, we closed the business in May and liquidated all our rental units.. Retired now so the rental business was too much like work.

Greg



rickandcindy23 said:


> Hi Greg!  How are you doing?  Is your website down?
> 
> Totally off subject, but I am hoping to help a friend with a week in February.  He owns VI points himself, but he didn't book Hololani when he should have and wants to add a 3rd week to his two weeks in West Maui.  I will send you a PM.


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## Fern Modena (Oct 17, 2013)

..........


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## PamMo (Oct 17, 2013)

Hey, Diane! I see you haven't posted since starting this thread - are you surprised by all the responses?

Every year, we gather our families in Cabo, and DH and I spend a week in Puerto Vallarta - then we try to fit in a week in Mazatlan when we have the time. We've had only good experiences, and have met the kindest, loveliest people. We've gone there through the recession, bird flu crisis and drug cartel wars. On every single visit, we've been warmly greeted and treated like old friends and valued guests. We have never felt our safety was threatened, even though my husband is uber-cautious and very protective. The only issue I have is the timeshare salespeople. Their ingenuity and persistence is amazing.


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## am1 (Oct 17, 2013)

I thought there was.


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## Phill12 (Oct 18, 2013)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> Why, then would I ever visit any area in the Central Valley, such as Tracy, Modesto, or God forbid, Stockton??  Lot's of news of killings, gangs, drug violence, rapes, assaults on disabled people, etc., in those locales.
> 
> *******
> 
> ...


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## kwindham (Oct 18, 2013)

presley said:


> Thanks for that.  Ironically, I was telling my son a couple days ago that if he went to Rosarito with me, I "knew" someone online who lived there half the time and could tell us where to go.
> 
> I have bad memories of Rosarito, but after some thought, I realized my negative associations with the area is that the 2 times I went there as a kid, I was with drunk, ignorant adults.  I'm still traumatized over the time my friend's mom's boyfriend ran over a dog there and then laughed it off and said, "That will be the family's dinner tonight." I could give more stories, but take my word for it.  I was with drunk, ignorant adults.  :ignore:
> 
> I see that Worldmark has a resort down there.  I really want to stay there for a couple nights.  I would probably need a big truck to bring back everything that I want to buy from the vendors.  Still working on talking someone in the family to join me.  *My son is completely fluent in Spanish and would be really helpful, but he thinks there are drug cartels everywhere*.



I was in Rosarita for 9 days this past January.  There is no need to be fluent in Spanish.  We had no problems at all communicating with the locals.  We walked up and down the main drag where the locals where making things, took cabs, ate at local restaurants, etc.  There is one place I forget the name of, but we stopped and looked at his stuff, and wound up visiting with the owner for an hour or two.  Gorgeous hand carved beds, with intricate beautiful details.

So don't be afraid of the language barrier, its not a problem.


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## Pat H (Oct 18, 2013)

Wow, PHILL12, I find it amazing that every time you went to Mexico, someone in your party was robbed. I have been to Cancun, Riviera Maya, Acapulco, Mazatlan and especially PV/NV numerous times. I have never felt unsafe and most of those trips were with other women. I don't know anyone who has been threatened or robbed. Can't wait until March for another 2 week trip to Mexico for this senior citizen.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 18, 2013)

Phill12 said:


> I would agree about Stockton but it is getting better. I spent eight weeks there on a jury for a gang murder and robbery case . If you want to lump Tracy and Modesto in you are wrong. If your knocking Stockton at least tell good news too! Powerball winner of more than $400,000 hit at a Chevron in Stockton last draw.
> Tracy Ca won a award as one of the safest cities couple years ago (Top 20) in America.



Whooooosshhhhhh .....

That was the sound of my previous post zipping right over your head.


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## geekette (Oct 18, 2013)

Pat H said:


> Wow, PHILL12, I find it amazing that every time you went to Mexico, someone in your party was robbed. I have been to Cancun, Riviera Maya, Acapulco, Mazatlan and especially PV/NV numerous times. I have never felt unsafe and most of those trips were with other women. I don't know anyone who has been threatened or robbed. Can't wait until March for another 2 week trip to Mexico for this senior citizen.



Yeah, I think he's taking the wrong people on vacations with him!!


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## geekette (Oct 18, 2013)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> Whooooosshhhhhh .....
> 
> That was the sound of my previous post zipping right over your head.



Yeah, I'm not getting how a Powerball winner = SAFE!

do they not sell lottery tickets where murders have occurred?  They do in my city.  Bad crap happens here all the time.  I don't visit the strip clubs in a certain section of town because A) no interest in strip clubs and B) no interest in being an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire occurring (with alarming frequency) in a strip club parking lot.  

Lottery tickets are sold nearby.  Doesn't seem to have ended the gun violence.


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## presley (Oct 18, 2013)

How far off topic can we take this?  

I live in San Diego County.  My particular city is knowing for having such low crime rates, that if you ever park wrong, you'll get a ticket because the cops are bored.

The high school my son went to is one of the highest rated schools in the state.  People move here, just to have access to the schools.  One of his classmates had a sister who stolen out of her bed in the middle of the night and killed - big national story.  Another student at the school was jogging one day and was grabbed, raped and killed in a very "safe" area.  That was another big national story.  The secretary of my son's middle school was shot right through the wall of her home one Easter Sunday.  I walk by there frequently.  These things happened right in the middle of my super safe community.  These big national news events haven't slowed down the growth and number of people moving here, specifically for their kids to go to the schools here.  

I'm just pointing out that there are scary monsters everywhere.  I feel safe walking down the street every day.  That doesn't mean that I am.


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## PStreet1 (Oct 18, 2013)

Pat H said:


> Wow, PHILL12, I find it amazing that every time you went to Mexico, someone in your party was robbed. I have been to Cancun, Riviera Maya, Acapulco, Mazatlan and especially PV/NV numerous times. I have never felt unsafe and most of those trips were with other women. I don't know anyone who has been threatened or robbed. Can't wait until March for another 2 week trip to Mexico for this senior citizen.



I, too, find that amazing.  I've owned in Rosarito for over 15 years; many of my friends have lived here over 20 years full time.  NOT ONE has ever been robbed or threatened in any way--and we're in "the dangerous border area."  We've been to Cancun, Cabo, Acapulco, Mazatlan, Riviera Maya, Puerto Vallarta, Lake Chapala, and a few other spots, and we've driven the Baja as far as Guerrero Negro--no problems, ever.


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## Passepartout (Oct 18, 2013)

When I read of all the problems Phil12 had on multiple trips to places where I- and many others have not, I had to wonder.... Perhaps he is placing blame where is doesn't belong. Ever notice that when you point a finger at others, 3 of them are pointed back at you?

An then DebBrown actually WITNESSING dumped bodies and windows shot out on the grounds and on buildings that don't even exist, I had to wonder where I've been that I've missed so much.

Must have been riding in a Toyota with EZ- and fully protected under a tinfoil helmet. 

Glad I'll be in the Mexico I love quite soon.

Jim


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## hefleycatz (Oct 18, 2013)

I live just outside of St Louis, ( usually a murder everynight )  but that doesn't keep us from going downtown,  especially to a baseball game.  GO CARDS!   

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4


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## PStreet1 (Oct 18, 2013)

hefleycatz said:


> I live just outside of St Louis, ( usually a murder everynight )  but that doesn't keep us from going downtown,  especially to a baseball game.  GO CARDS!
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4



Well, if you're used to a murder every night somewhere within 30 miles of home, you're all set for Mexico--but bring your flack jacket in case you need to go to the grocery store for any last minute items.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 18, 2013)

hefleycatz said:


> I live just outside of St Louis, ( usually a murder everynight )  but that doesn't keep us from going downtown,  especially to a baseball game.  GO CARDS!
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4





PStreet1 said:


> Well, if you're used to a murder every night somewhere within 30 miles of home, you're all set for Mexico--but bring your flack jacket in case you need to go to the grocery store for any last minute items.


Yeah - one of the times in my life when I have felt the least safe was when I missed an exit in downtown St. Louis and had to exit and get turned around in East St. Louis.  Never in Mexico or in Guatemala (where crime is worse than in Mexico) have I ever felt anywhere near as unsafe as I did at that time.  

If I follow the logic of various posters here, though, I should heed my fears and never again park my butt anywhere within 500 miles of St. Louis.


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## Phill12 (Oct 18, 2013)

Pat H said:


> Wow, PHILL12, I find it amazing that every time you went to Mexico, someone in your party was robbed. I have been to Cancun, Riviera Maya, Acapulco, Mazatlan and especially PV/NV numerous times. I have never felt unsafe and most of those trips were with other women. I don't know anyone who has been threatened or robbed. Can't wait until March for another 2 week trip to Mexico for this senior citizen.



 Pat I never said every time we went to Mexico our friends were robbed! Guess your trying to stir things! We had two different couples robbed by cab drivers over the years. One in Cancun and one PV. 
 For most of our trips we had great time but bad things happen in Mexico and the fact none have happen to you is great but this posting was because her husband doesn't feel good about going to Mexico because of safety issue and that is his choice.


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## PStreet1 (Oct 18, 2013)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> Yeah - one of the times in my life when I have felt the least safe was when I missed an exit in downtown St. Louis and had to exit and get turned around in East St. Louis.  Never in Mexico or in Guatemala (where crime is worse than in Mexico) have I ever felt anywhere near as unsafe as I did at that time.
> 
> If I follow the logic of various posters here, though, I should heed my fears and never again park my butt anywhere within 500 miles of St. Louis.



I know that feeling.  I was told to take the freeway into the city to get to the library.  I decided to plot my own path and drove a surface road.  Big mistake, and of course, since I didn't know the territory, I didn't know how to get out of it.  I was terrified; I've been in some dicey areas of several cities, but never anything like that.  Fortunately for me, a cop car pulled in behind me and escorted me out of the area.  I have never been so happy to see police as I was that day.  I've been back to St. Louis many times since then, but I follow locals' advice on where I should drive/not drive.

(And when I was heading for Illinois, I did heed local advice not to stop, no matter what, in East St. Louis.  I'm absolutely sure that would have been worse than what I experienced, and that was as bad as I want to experience.)


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## dmharris (Oct 21, 2013)

PamMo said:


> Hey, Diane! I see you haven't posted since starting this thread - are you surprised by all the responses?
> 
> Every year, we gather our families in Cabo, and DH and I spend a week in Puerto Vallarta - then we try to fit in a week in Mazatlan when we have the time. We've had only good experiences, and have met the kindest, loveliest people. We've gone there through the recession, bird flu crisis and drug cartel wars. On every single visit, we've been warmly greeted and treated like old friends and valued guests. We have never felt our safety was threatened, even though my husband is uber-cautious and very protective. The only issue I have is the timeshare salespeople. Their ingenuity and persistence is amazing.




Hi Pam!  

Holy Cow!  I've been at a conference with no internet in the meeting rooms and scheduled from dawn till bedtime so I've had no time for 'putering.  I've got to start back at page 1 and read all these posts!  Holy Cow!


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## klpca (Oct 21, 2013)

presley said:


> How far off topic can we take this?
> 
> I live in San Diego County.  My particular city is knowing for having such low crime rates, that if you ever park wrong, you'll get a ticket because the cops are bored.
> 
> ...



Presley, I believe we are neighbors. (I'm in PQ). Small world.


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## dioxide45 (Oct 23, 2013)

dmharris said:


> My husband feels unsafe in Mexico.  But if I could get a resort perhaps in Cancun or Cabo, do you think that might be convincing that it's not in the heart of Mexico and would be safe?  I'd love to go to either destination.  Sigh. Please don't dump on my man, he's a wonderful guy; just protective of his love.



Perhaps if you booked a short cruise that made a couple of stops in Mexico, it would warm him up to it. Book an excursion to some ruins or something else to give him a feel for the place. A cruise isn't usually ideal for this, but perhaps he will be willing to visit as long as the cruise ship is getting out of dodge at a specified time. Perhaps then he will see that it is safe for travel and be willing to go to Cancun or the Mexican Riviera after that.


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## geekette (Oct 23, 2013)

dioxide45 said:


> Perhaps if you booked a short cruise that made a couple of stops in Mexico, it would warm him up to it. Book an excursion to some ruins or something else to give him a feel for the place. A cruise isn't usually ideal for this, but perhaps he will be willing to visit as long as the cruise ship is getting out of dodge at a specified time. Perhaps then he will see that it is safe for travel and be willing to go to Cancun or the Mexican Riviera after that.



cruise is an excellent suggestion.

depending on how far from port and route to ruins, the thought of the excursion could be frightening.  tour buses have been hijacked and so forth.  Even if it won't be travelling back jungle roads at dusk, way too many tales.  

try something very near port.  local cuisine, shops, sites ...?  

cruise is a good idea with no tours, leisurely explore and if he feels unsafe, he doesn't even have to get off the ship, or can get right back on.

get the feel of it a bit.  agree that "near port" is touristy fakey land, but if he doesn't understand that, all the better!!  all he needs to remember is warm and pretty place, with friendly people vs guns n thugs image.  

then she can get him back to one of those ports for a land trip.


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## nazclk (Oct 25, 2013)

*Cabo*

I love Cabo and go about 3 times a year. You have your choice, you can stay in the tourist trap area or you can go where the locals go and really enjoy yourself with a lot less money.  Safety in Cabo is of no concern. 
Be going there for 12 years now.


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Oct 25, 2013)

nazclk said:


> I love Cabo and go about 3 times a year. You have your choice, you can stay in the tourist trap area or you can go where the locals go and really enjoy yourself with a lot less money.  Safety in Cabo is of no concern.
> Be going there for 12 years now.



The one time we were in Cabo, we had a rental car, and the highlight of our trip was driving to Todos Santos.  Very nice to get away from the gringo tourist focus of CSL and get into the countryside. The big dissonance was the endless loop of the Eagles Hotel California playing outside a hotel and bar named Hotel California.

So the first time that we were in Puerto Vallarta we once again found ourselves with a car, and we looked at a map and decided to drive to Tepic, to get away from the tourist areas. What a wonderful trip that was!!


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## SeanMScully (Oct 30, 2013)

*He won't go becuase he is narrow minded and ignorant*



dmharris said:


> My husband feels unsafe in Mexico.  But if I could get a resort perhaps in Cancun or Cabo, do you think that might be convincing that it's not in the heart of Mexico and would be safe?  I'd love to go to either destination.  Sigh. Please don't dump on my man, he's a wonderful guy; just protective of his love.



I can only speak to Cabo, but I have been there four of the last six years, for two week stays, and have always had a wonderful and safe experience. I am not your typical tourist, I rent a car (Dominic Los Cabos is the best), and I travel all over (la Paz, Todo Santos, Cabo Pulma, etc.); down back roads, into little villages, no name bars and restaurants, and try to get as much of a local experience as possible. Even when I've been out on the town partying it up, the worst thing that happened to me was a cabbie tried to overcharge me for a ride to the hotel. 

I actually killed my rental car by trying to drive through a washed out arroyo in the middle of nowhere and the locals helped me out with a tow (for a charge) and Dominic came and replaced my car (at no charge). 

It's safer in Cabo than downtown Seattle, Vancouver, San Francisco, Washington DC, and numerous other places that dumb Americans think are safer than Mexico.


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## nazclk (Oct 31, 2013)

*Amen Brother*

Isn't that the truth, I too have been going for many years and love it there.


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## Passepartout (Oct 31, 2013)

SeanMScully, I know you are new here, so please don't construe this as dumping on you, but your header was uncalled for. The OP is a long time member here, and if you had bothered to read- or preferably re-read- her post, she asked that no one 'dump on' her husband. She respects his decision, but wants to find a way to nudge him into accompanying her to Mexico.

Your anecdote was fine, but the header wasn't.

Welcome to TUG and keep the positive discussions coming. 

Jim


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## geekette (Oct 31, 2013)

Passepartout said:


> SeanMScully, I know you are new here, so please don't construe this as dumping on you, but your header was uncalled for. The OP is a long time member here, and if you had bothered to read- or preferably re-read- her post, she asked that no one 'dump on' her husband. She respects his decision, but wants to find a way to nudge him into accompanying her to Mexico.
> 
> Your anecdote was fine, but the header wasn't.
> 
> ...



I commend you, Jim, on a very gentle nudge delivered so nicely that it certainly does display the community aspect here.

Welcome Sean!


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## AlbertaTravel (Oct 31, 2013)

My husband and I visit Mexico a lot.  Well not as much as some, a couple times a year usually but in the beginning he didn't want to go.  I finally got him to Puerto Vallarta, then Cancun and this year Akumal.  But now I want to go to Costa Rica for a few weeks and he doesn't because he is comfortable in Mexico.  
Imagine, comfortable in Mexico.  Never thought I would hear that from him.  
But there is one thing that really scares both of us.  
Cancun during spring break.
Good luck.  Hope your husband changes his mind just once and the cruise idea is great.  Another thing.  If you do get him to go maybe an AI would be best.  I love being on the beach in Puerto Vallarta and chatting with the vendors but if someone is already leary about where they're at, having people in your space all the time trying to sell you something probably would not be conducive to getting him back a second time.


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## VacationForever (Nov 1, 2013)

AlbertaTravel said:


> But there is one thing that really scares both of us.
> Cancun during spring break.



Would you please explain what is wrong with Cancun during spring break?  We normally travel off season but our good friends (a couple) who love to vacation with us, and vice versa, want to visit Cancun and they have time off during spring break.  Other than crowds, which we hate, what other problems are there?  We went during shoulder season the last time we were there.


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## hefleycatz (Nov 1, 2013)

sptung said:


> Would you please explain what is wrong with Cancun during spring break?  We normally travel off season but our good friends (a couple) who love to vacation with us, and vice versa, want to visit Cancun and they have time off during spring break.  Other than crowds, which we hate, what other problems are there?  We went during shoulder season the last time we were there.



Crowds and crowds of drunk high school and college kids.  No real problems during that time, just a lot of partying.  

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4


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## geekette (Nov 1, 2013)

AlbertaTravel said:


> Another thing.  If you do get him to go maybe an AI would be best.  I love being on the beach in Puerto Vallarta and chatting with the vendors but if someone is already leary about where they're at, having people in your space all the time trying to sell you something probably would not be conducive to getting him back a second time.



This is an extremely good point - the vendors always hovering ...  he should be warned about that if a cruise is selected as well - just say no and keep moving.

Pueblo Bonito Sunset Beach - private beach = NO VENDORS!!  Just peaceful paradise.


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## channimal (Nov 1, 2013)

If it's any consolation.. I'm more worried/scared of taking my family to Washington DC than to Mexico.


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## geekette (Nov 1, 2013)

channimal said:


> If it's any consolation.. I'm more worried/scared of taking my family to Washington DC than to Mexico.



Not keen on Chicago lately, either.  Nearby Gary, In is also a place I would drive a flat tire out of and pay for the new rim vs stop my car for any reason, and that's been true since the 70s.


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## buceo (Nov 1, 2013)

...never mind tried inserting a photo, couldn't & not seeing a delete button


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## siesta (Nov 1, 2013)

geekette said:


> Not keen on Chicago lately, either.  Nearby Gary, In is also a place I would drive a flat tire out of and pay for the new rim vs stop my car for any reason, and that's been true since the 70s.


Haha this too funny, as a Chicago native it gave me a good laugh. Why are you "not keen on Chicago lately"?? Do you plan on visiting the ghettos on the south or west side or travelling down to the heroin highway and picking up some dope? Concerned about lastyear a few teens with nothing better to do damaged property on Michigan avenue? Noone was seriously hurt and everyone involved denied any medical attention. Yes we have high homicide rate, but that is isolated to the povrty stricken neighborhoods for the most part, I doubt your touring will take you there... And it is much more then A "wrong turn away"

Most visitors in Chicago dont leave the loop or the north side, thats where the sights, dining, shopping, and entertainment is. Tourists have no business going anywhere else, besides maybe the suburbs.

If you do visit, do us all a favor. Dont rent a car (your wallet will thank due to parking, and so will the experienced drivers), and when you stop on the sidewalk to look up or check your map, make sure your not in the middle of it, people are trying to walk. Other then those two things, we are really friendly to tourists, dont hesitate to ask us for directions or things to do or places to eat. We love to help, and love to see people have a good experience here. Midwest hospitality is not dead in Chicago.

Its true, they call us Chiraq, gangs are killing eachother left and right and innocent bystanders (inhabitants of those poor areas) are caught in the crossfire. But unless you go looking for this, you wont see it. Gangs account for the vast majority of the violent crime in this city, and its typically gangmember on gangmember crime.


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## Free2Roam (Nov 2, 2013)

siesta said:


> Haha this too funny, as a Chicago native it gave me a good laugh. Why are you "not keen on Chicago lately"?? Do you plan on visiting the ghettos on the south or west side or travelling down to the heroin highway and picking up some dope? Concerned about lastyear a few black teens with nothing better to do damaged property on Michigan avenue? Noone was hurt and everyone involved denied any medical attention. Yes we have high homicide rate, but that is isolated to the black and hispanic neighborhoods for the most part, I doubt your touring will take you there... And it is much more then A "wrong turn away"
> 
> Most visitors in Chicago dont leave the loop or the north side, thats where the sights, dining, shopping, and entertainment is. Tourists have no business going anywhere else, besides maybe the suburbs.
> 
> ...



Was that really necessary?


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Nov 2, 2013)

siesta said:


> Haha this too funny, as a Chicago native it gave me a good laugh. Why are you "not keen on Chicago lately"?? Do you plan on visiting the ghettos on the south or west side or travelling down to the heroin highway and picking up some dope? Concerned about lastyear a few black teens with nothing better to do damaged property on Michigan avenue? Noone was hurt and everyone involved denied any medical attention. Yes we have high homicide rate, but that is isolated to the black and hispanic neighborhoods for the most part, I doubt your touring will take you there... And it is much more then A "wrong turn away"



Perhaps a tourist might not be keen on Chicago because of news reports of drug dealing and gang warfare running rampant on the south side.

But then, a person who refused to go to Chicago because of news reports about violence on the south side would be just like a person who refused to go to Cancún because of news reports about violence in Nuevo Laredo.


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## siesta (Nov 2, 2013)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> Perhaps a tourist might not be keen on Chicago because of news reports of drug dealing and gang warfare running rampant on the south side.
> 
> But then, a person who refused to go to Chicago because of news reports about violence on the south side would be just like a person who refused to go to Cancún because of news reports about violence in Nuevo Laredo.


exactly, why be concerned with violent crime in the poverty stricken south and west side, when as a tourist you wont be going anywhere near there?

As you pointed out, similar arguments can be made for mexico as well as other destinations, such as Hawaii, Oahu in particular. But in Oahu, the poverty and crime is less far removed then in Mexican tourist cities and in Chicago.  But people arent that rational, they say "Sure I'm more likely to be a victim of violent crime in Oahu then Cancun/Cabo/etc., but at least I can trust the Police!" really??? Id rather be safer in the first place, then have the police be better able to solve the crime once it happens to me.  Id rather have a statistically better chance of not being a victim, then the chance of being a victim but having good recourse.


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## siesta (Nov 2, 2013)

FreeIn2010 said:


> Was that really necessary?


No, it actually wasnt necessary to my point: that those areas are far removed from the tourist areas. Ive edited my original post. 

But for the record, although this may be deleted: I made no correlations about race and crime, rather the real correlation is between poverty and crime, and the fact is unfortunately blacks and latinos are more likely to live in poverty in Chicago, and thus are more likely to be the perpetrators and the victims of crime.  Anyone that tries to make a correlation between race and crime is just a bigot. Anyone looking at the correlation of poverty and crime is looking at the facts, and thus can be better equipped to find a rational way to try to solve it.

Whether you are white, black, brown, etc., it doesnt matter, what matters is who the likely demographic in the locale is that are the ones living in poverty. They will be the ones filling up your jail cells and the ones statistically to be victims.

Sorry, didnt mean to offend anyone.


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## Carol C (Nov 2, 2013)

DebBrown said:


> If I had to pick, I'd go with Cabo.  We prefer San Jose del Cabo which is a bit quieter and not such college age hangout.  Next January we are going back to Nuevo Vallarta and I feel pretty good about that too.
> 
> I don't think I'll ever return to Mazatlan.  As much as I hate to say it, it is in the midst of the drug wars.  While we were here we heard gun shots from our hotel and witnessed the aftermath at the US embassy where bodies were dumped and the windows shot out.
> 
> Deb



Somehow I missed that story on the news...or from my friends in the American ex-pat community who love it there still, despite the drug turf crime in other parts of Sinaloa state. When were you last in Mazatlan, Deb?


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## Passepartout (Nov 2, 2013)

Here's a story about Mexico's former 'murder capitol' getting a handle on the problem and coming back. http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/...time-murder-capital-is-making-a-comeback?lite I wonder how long it will take for people, once frightened of going to Mexico, to see that they really are getting a handle on the violence.

As long as people like us keep saying that Mexico is safe,  maybe it will sink in.

*'Course as long as the perception remains, there are MANY wonderful, low cost vacations and easy exchanges for us.*

Jim


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## mikenk (Nov 2, 2013)

This morning on our local news program, Pauline Frommer was on the show promoting travel in general. Pauline mentioned there were some locations to stay away from - such as Egypt. The news anchor then asked in a leading question, or so it seemed, "How about Mexico?" 

Pauline gave a great answer. Paraphrasing: Mexico is a large country and is perfectly safe to visit except she would stay away from the border cities. She added that the tourist cities are safer than many American cities. 

In my experience, many people make decisions and hold dearly to opinions from the past regardless of the source or whether still appropriate. Changing their mind with facts just doesn't compute. We have a close friend that is absolutely terrified for us every time we go. We have given up on convincing her otherwise; we just play it up as we are daring, exciting people and like to live on the edge.

Mike


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Nov 2, 2013)

mikenk said:


> In my experience, many people make decisions and hold dearly to opinions from the past regardless of the source or whether still appropriate. Changing their mind with facts just doesn't compute. We have a close friend that is absolutely terrified for us every time we go. We have given up on convincing her otherwise; we just play it up as we are daring, exciting people and like to live on the edge.
> 
> Mike



A common mistake many people make is to think that you can change an emotional decision by using facts and reason.  That almost never works.

That's one of the things that a good persuader of people does - a good parent, a good teacher, a good counselor.  Listen and find out what the true seat is of the perception. Then deal with it at that level.

And ..... that's also what a good sales person does.  The top ones know how to get to bases for the reasons that the person is reticent about buying, and respond accordingly.  Being a good sales person is very similar to being a good parent or friend - in both cases you can't really compel someone to act or behave a certain way, but you can try to persuade them to change their course.    

******

BTW - in supposedly crime-rideen Mexico, all of the buses that I see have open cashboxes right next to the driver.  How long do you think that would last in our "low-crime" cities in the US?


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## PStreet1 (Nov 2, 2013)

I like the fact about the cashboxes on the buses--that's simple enough for almost anyone to see the significance of it.


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## dmharris (Nov 15, 2013)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> We've decided that if we were ever to get to Cancún together, we would like to stay in Isla Mujeres.  And I have my eyes on Zihuatanejo and Oaxaca.  Though Oaxaca most likely would be just me.



I'm finally trying to decide about going to Cancun area or not.  Steve, please tell me about these places and what is their appeal?


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Nov 15, 2013)

dmharris said:


> I'm finally trying to decide about going to Cancun area or not.  Steve, please tell me about these places and what is their appeal?


DW and DD have been to Cancún, not me.  So relying on info from them.  They stayed at Grand Mayan Riviera.  Both found that location quite remote and isolated.  Also did not care for the Hotel Zone - too touristy and like the US.  DW says if she wanted that Cabo is cheaper and easier for us, and she's indifferent to Cabo.  But when I mentioned Isla Mujeres she lit up.  More "quirky" if you will; not the mega-tourist scene.  More laid back.  

Zihuatanejo is mostly to try out another locale that is relatively easy for us to reach. More interest in Zihua than Ixtapa since Zihua is an old town and Ixtapa is another resort destination built from the ground up for tourism - I gather that Ixtapa:Zihua as Nuevo Vallartauerto Vallarta.  

Oaxaca is an old Spanish colonial capital city - so lots of architecture from that era.  I believe it is a United Nations designated world cultural heritage site.  That area of Mexico is also much more strongly indigenous than the rest of Mexico; that area much more strongly resisted assimilation.  Seems to have a lot of similarities with La Antigua in Guatemala, which I enjoyed very much.


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## dmharris (Nov 15, 2013)

I can't thank you all enough for all the information and opinions packed into this thread.  I want to go south to get out of the cold and gray of the Pittsburgh area.  Sometimes, Florida isn't warm enough or available in a trade that is acceptable to me (place snob here).    The Caribbean is hard to trade into.  I often look within flexchange because my husband can't commit to  a vacation time until within 60 days.  So when I can commit, a lot is gone.  So . . . I'm looking for the affordable on short notice vacation.  Travel by air is expensive.  We are not "cruise people".  My husband will explore but I think, along with many women on this thread, he is protective of us.  I respect that he wants us to be safe.  I can persuade him into most anything, e.g. happy wife = happy life and he knows it!  ;-)   

So, Cancun is closer than Cabo and we're headed to Charlotte for Thanksgiving, so November 30 I'm free to leave for a week and he can be convinced.  I can use air miles to book a flight since not many people travel that week.  We don't like row after row of hotels, like Las Vegas, Miami, Honolulu, Aruba, etc.  We Love St. Lucia, St. Johns, Kauai and Hilton Head - Grande Ocean and Newport Coast in CA and the Carmel coast in central CA.  

I'm seeing availability south of Cancun or in Cancun, e.g. The Azuls, The Royals, but have no idea if I'll like these.  I love the aqua blue water, soft sand beaches and lush vegetation, palm trees and the warm breezes that kiss your skin.  Can you recommend a resort with the standards of Marriotts/Westins?  TIA!  Love Tuggers!


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## dmharris (Nov 15, 2013)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> DW and DD have been to Cancún, not me.  So relying on info from them.  They stayed at Grand Mayan Riviera.  Both found that location quite remote and isolated.  Also did not care for the Hotel Zone - too touristy and like the US.  DW says if she wanted that Cabo is cheaper and easier for us, and she's indifferent to Cabo.  But when I mentioned Isla Mujeres she lit up.  More "quirky" if you will; not the mega-tourist scene.  More laid back.
> 
> Zihuatanejo is mostly to try out another locale that is relatively easy for us to reach. More interest in Zihua than Ixtapa since Zihua is an old town and Ixtapa is another resort destination built from the ground up for tourism - I gather that Ixtapa:Zihua as Nuevo Vallartauerto Vallarta.
> 
> Oaxaca is an old Spanish colonial capital city - so lots of architecture from that era.  I believe it is a United Nations designated world cultural heritage site.  That area of Mexico is also much more strongly indigenous than the rest of Mexico; that area much more strongly resisted assimilation.  Seems to have a lot of similarities with La Antigua in Guatemala, which I enjoyed very much.



Steve, you NEVER disappoint!  Thanks for all this great info.  Is either on the east coast of Mexico?


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## T_R_Oglodyte (Nov 16, 2013)

dmharris said:


> Steve, you NEVER disappoint!  Thanks for all this great info.  Is either on the east coast of Mexico?



Isla Mujeres is an island that you reach by taking a ferry from Cancún.  

Zihua is on the Pacific Coast.  Oaxaca is in the highlands, south of Mexico and not far from the Guatemala border.

*****

The other Mexico trip I would like to do sometime is the Copper Canyon train.  The canyon network is deeper than the Grand Canyon, and on the ride you traverse a variety of ecozones as the train gains altitude. There are hotels near the top, or you can arrange a tour into the canyon itself. Because of the ruggedness or the terrain, the indigenous people in the canyon area were never conquered by the Spanish, so the culture and languages are still intact.


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