# What do you do with your parents' things?



## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

I know there is no easy answer, but I'm looking for insights here.  I hope those of you who have been through this can share your thoughts.

My parents were divorced years ago, and are both deceased.  My Mom died 22 years ago, after a short illness.  The family kind of fell apart after her death, and we siblings did the best we could to take care of her affairs, which she hadn't had time to arrange ahead of time.  Furniture and valuables were divided up, the house sold, and whatever else was required to take care of things happened soon after her passing. None of that is what I'm asking about.

My older sister ended up with "Mom's trunk."  It is a large storage box, a homemade thing her brother made her from spare wood many years ago.  It's about three feet long, two feet wide and high, and weighs a ton.  It is filled with papers and various items, the things Mom felt were important to her.  School programs, old photos, newspaper articles, anonymous locks of baby hair, and whatever else - you name it. It's the collection of those things mothers hang onto.  She knew what everything was, but virtually none of it has meaning to we four siblings.  The trunk has been sorted through a number of times, and anything of known or sentimental value has been removed.  What's left is the rest of it. None of it is junk, but all of it is just "stuff" to us.

Sis is trying to downsize her living situation, and texted me two days ago to say she is delivering Mom's trunk to me today.  (I wasn't asked, I was TOLD.  I'm sure after all these years, Sis is tired of dealing with it.)  I presume it will also include the several other boxes of things that are too large to fit in the trunk, and it's all going to take up space.  I don't have room inside the house, so will initially put it in the garage.

But then what?  Do I just close my eyes and throw it away?  Do I divide it up into even more boxes, and store it even longer? Do I tell my two brothers that I'm delivering it to their houses in two days, like my sister is doing to me?

And then, I also already have my Dad's things.  As I mentioned, my parents were divorced, and both had remarried.  Both of those spouses are also deceased.  As the oldest son, I was executor of my Dad's estate, and I have several similar boxes of his things, that have already been stored at my house since his passing 12 years ago.

What do I do with this stuff?  

Dave


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## VacationForever (Jul 14, 2018)

Ask if any of your siblings want any of the stuff.  If they want the can have them, otherwise, close your eyes and dump them as garbage unless there is anything of value, then sell or donate them.


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## artringwald (Jul 14, 2018)

Preserve anything that may be useful for genealogy research. You never know what future generations might be interested in it. Pitch what nobody else wants. 

Both our parents died within 3 weeks of each other. We all picked out the things we wanted and had them shipped to our homes. We hired a company to clean out the rest of the house. They may have saved some for resale, but I'm glad none of us were there to watch the rest go into a dumpster.


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## Iggyearl (Jul 14, 2018)

Tell your sister that it is going to the dump, unless someone else wants it.  If it has been gone through once by everyone, there is no reason to be sentimental.  Someone else's memories don't have to be yours.  I ended up with my mother's stuff and have found some great family history info.  It will be worth it for my daughter.  However, I had pictures of possible relatives who I have no clue about.  No info on the back of the photo.  Somebody else's memories.  Darned if I need that stuff.  It's gone.  This is the first time I've thought about it since 1992.


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## bnoble (Jul 14, 2018)

At the next opportunity for you all to get together for a day or three, tell your siblings that you'll bring everything out. Let anyone take anything they want and agree that everything else is either being donated or thrown out. If there is anything (up to and including all of it) that someone doesn't want thrown out, they have to take it on themselves.


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## Patri (Jul 14, 2018)

We siblings took what we wanted, and then filled a dumpster. It was sad to see that happen, but we all lived out of state. I did mail to myself an end table I loved. We also kept sentimental/valuable small stuff. Donated a ton. We only had a few days to do this. Now all at our own homes, I am sorting through the things I have from my parents/grandparents. I am saving family history documents. Have put photos, etc. into boxes for my kids. They are excited about that. They can toss any that mean nothing to them. But I have started to sell antiques and other things that no one wants or needs. They are part of my memories from childhood, not so for my kids. I am thrilled when someone buys an item off eBay or another site, since they have some reason to want to own it. One thing I sold went to Australia! Grandma's dress hat went to California for a gal going to a special party. I'm sure she was a hit.


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## bluehende (Jul 14, 2018)

I went through this.  My brother and I each took a few things that had meaning.  My mother had nothing of high value.  I am sure if I had the time almost everything had a little to moderate value.  We gave most of it to a thrift store she loved to go to.  A lot of it came from there.  Anything they didn't want or had no value went into the trash.  My mother had an immaculate home but unfortunately an attic over a 60X30 ranch.  That was her hoarding spot.  Getting ready to sell the house we spent 2/3 of time getting stuff out of the attic.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

Iggyearl said:


> Somebody else's memories.



That's a great way to think of it.  That is exactly what this is.  My daughter is deep into genealogy, and I'm already planning a time she will come to sort through things, to take what she wants. Same with my two brothers, who live out of state.  I think after that's done, I'm also done with it.

Dave


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## bbodb1 (Jul 14, 2018)

Dave,

One thing I'd suggest - take some photos of the stuff.  Especially those items you are not sure about.  If in doubt, discard it BUT at least with photos (or scans of papers) you'd still have some way to view these items.  It is hard to know today what might be valuable tomorrow to you from the standpoint of personal meaning.  Photos (or scans) at least allow your to still view these items.


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## bbodb1 (Jul 14, 2018)

We are somewhat struggling from this in the reverse - with three kids, over the years we kept stuff we thought they might want.  Of course, that turns out NOT to be the case....
Every time we try to address this, none of the kids are in a position to take very much so we just hold on to stuff for another year.  
As time goes by, I can also see the possibilities of them not wanting some of the stuff they said they would want coming to fruition.....
Oh well....

What do you do with a bunch of stuff animals anyway?
And (now older but still functions) electronics?
And.....


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> We are somewhat struggling from this in the reverse - with three kids, over the years we kept stuff we thought they might want.  Of course, that turns out NOT to be the case....
> Every time we try to address this, none of the kids are in a position to take very much so we just hold on to stuff for another year.
> As time goes by, I can also see the possibilities of them not wanting some of the stuff they said they would want coming to fruition.....
> Oh well....
> ...



See, that's kind of where this started, but not where it is now.  Anything we know of that is valuable or has collectibility, or that has a family memory attached with it, has already been taken out.  I don't know if anything left has value to anyone inside or out of the family.  it's just "stuff."

There are no stuffed animals or electronics.  But those things likely would have a buyer waiting on eBay or whatever auction site.  In Mom's trunk is none of this sort of thing.  As far as I know.  I'll be going through it again, just to be sure. But I'm ready to pack a toothbrush and walk away from my home at this point - I have enough of my own stuff, I don't want to add to the pile. 

Dave


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## jackio (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> We are somewhat struggling from this in the reverse - with three kids, over the years we kept stuff we thought they might want.  Of course, that turns out NOT to be the case....
> Every time we try to address this, none of the kids are in a position to take very much so we just hold on to stuff for another year.
> As time goes by, I can also see the possibilities of them not wanting some of the stuff they said they would want coming to fruition.....
> Oh well....
> ...


That is what we faced when we moved last year, after 31 years in the home where our children were raised.  None of them wanted much of anything.  It's ironic, because most of it was purchased to make them happy.  Most of it went in to the dumpster.


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## Jan M. (Jul 14, 2018)

Dave, the trunk itself might have sentimental value to someone in the family since it was made for your mother by her brother. And it probably qualifies as an antique by now. If you or none of your siblings want the trunk itself how about your children if you have any, nieces or nephews? Trunks  even those not in the best shape are very collectable. As to the stuff in the trunk. If there are things like programs from major events, not you or your siblings school plays, there are people who collect stuff like that. Is there a shop in your area you could take the stuff to and have them look through it to see if there is anything they want? If there is nothing worth having, bag it and put it in the trash.

Now about your father's stuff that you've had for 12 years. Send everyone an email, siblings, children, nieces, nephews, that in exactly 6 months, or you could be really generous and give them a year, you will be disposing of everything that is still there. That if they would like to have anything they are welcome to take it. You could even take pictures of the stuff with your phone and include them in the email.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

Jan M. said:


> Dave, the trunk itself might have sentimental value to someone in the family since it was made for your mother by her brother. And it probably qualifies as an antique by now. If you or none of your siblings want the trunk itself how about your children if you have any, nieces or nephews? Trunks  even those not in the best shape are very collectable. As to the stuff in the trunk. If there are things like programs from major events, not you or your siblings school plays, there are people who collect stuff like that. Is there a shop in your area you could take the stuff to and have them look through it to see if there is anything they want? If there is nothing worth having, bag it and put it in the trash.
> 
> Now about your father's stuff that you've had for 12 years. Send everyone an email, siblings, children, nieces, nephews, that in exactly 6 months, or you could be really generous and give them a year, you will be disposing of everything that is still there. That if they would like to have anything they are welcome to take it. You could even take pictures of the stuff with your phone and include them in the email.



Those are great options, Jan. Thanks.  In this case, though, calling it a "trunk" is a generous word.  It's more of a box made of 2X4 lumber.  Painted pink, no less.   Sentimental value would be all there is, if anyone wants it. It's not even a convenient size to store anything - it's too darned big to fit conveniently anywhere. Two of my Mom's brothers are gone, one is in a nursing home, and the other has Alzheimers.  The children of the one brother who made the box are also gone.  We're at the point in our lives where my generation is the older one.  So I think this is the last trip for the trunk - when my daughter is done going through it, if she doesn't want it, I'll probably drop it off at Goodwill or something. 

My Dad's things are even more of a challenge. It's complicated.  He was never around, and my parents divorced when I was 8. My younger brother and I are his only children.  His family is all deceased at this point. My sister and older brother are half-siblings from a different father, and they aren't interested in what Dad owned, beyond a few things they remember he had, which we've already divided up. The bulk of his things are interesting to me because they were his, but most are things I don't remember ever seeing, growing up.  I've been reluctant to get rid of anything, in case somebody comes along who says, "Hey, whatever happened to that..." whatever thing. But it's been 12 years, and I think the ship has sailed on that option.  I'll probably go through it all one last time, and then just dispose of whatever is left.

I think on the whole, it's the family memory thing I don't want to lose. My Mom died so young (67) and so unexpectedly, (diagnosed with severely metastasized cancer, and died 35 days later), this trunk is kind of a connection to her that I don't think we want to lose, but that nobody wants to store. It's more important because it was hers, than for what may be left in it.

I'll be asking my sister some important questions later today. 

Dave


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## bbodb1 (Jul 14, 2018)

Dave,

Jan's post gave me another idea - I work in a public school and we have a drama department.  They might be on the lookout for some older or out of the ordinary items.  After you've exhausted any other options you want to pursue, you might give your local high school's drama department a call....


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## klpca (Jul 14, 2018)

I am by nature very sentimental. Acknowledging that helps me to let go of things, because they are just things and I can't keep them all. Therefore, I have become rather ruthless when letting go of things. If you haven't missed it by now, there most likely isn't anything of value to you in that box. If there had been something important it would have been nagging at you at the back of your brain all these years. You peacefully let go of those things a long time ago. No need to revisit them again.

I understand the desire to keep her memory alive but her memory isn't in that box. It's in your heart and no one can take that away.

edit - in re-reading I feel that I may have sounded harsh which was never my intent. Apologies.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

klpca said:


> I am by nature very sentimental. Acknowledging that helps me to let go of things, because they are just things and I can't keep them all. Therefore, I have become rather ruthless when letting go of things. If you haven't missed it by now, there most likely isn't anything of value to you in that box. If there had been something important it would have been nagging at you at the back of your brain all these years. You peacefully let go of those things a long time ago. No need to revisit them again.
> 
> I understand the desire to keep her memory alive but her memory isn't in that box. It's in your heart and no one can take that away.
> 
> edit - in re-reading I feel that I may have sounded harsh which was never my intent. Apologies.



Thanks.  Not taken as harsh at all.  It's smart, common sense, and I appreciate your comments.  I was very close to my Mom, and think of her daily.  But it is about who she was, and what she did.  It was never about what she owned.  This trunk is just a thing.  The contents are for sure, as previously mentioned, someone else's memories.

I have an old, well-used maple cutting board on my kitchen counter that my Mom used every day.  I don't remember a time growing up when it was not on my Mom's kitchen counter.  Now I use it every day. I used it a few hours ago when making breakfast.  Every time I touch this cutting board, which has zero value, I think of my Mom.  It's priceless to me. 

Dave


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## JanT (Jul 14, 2018)

DaveNW,

That's really a dilemma.  bbdob1 had a great idea!  Also, if there are things like school programs, yearbooks, etc. - anything like that, check with a genealogical society near where your parents lived.  They most likely would love to have things such as those.  I have my grandfather's fiddle that he got from Sears back in the late 1800's.  When he passed away it was given to my dad and when he passed away it was given to me.  It has no real value and while I have a brother that would like it if I pass before him, there is no way he's getting it.  He would sell it for the few hundred dollars it might be worth just because of it's age.  To me it means everything and I have already checked out the genealogy society near where he used to live and have left instructions to make sure the fiddle gets to them.

As for the "trunk," oh how sad.  It has no financial value but is a tie to your mom.  I would have a difficult time letting go of it but sometimes when there is just no one else who wants it or no one to pass it to, we have to let it go.  My heart would break but if I had to let it go, I would.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.  We just placed my mom in assisted living last year and so much of her stuff had to be put in storage.  I just recently went through the storage unit and sent all of her furniture, dishes, etc., with grand kids to college.  All of her mementos I have here at my house (picture albums, things we kids gave her, ....).  I have everything ready to give back to each sibling when my mom passes away.  There isn't a lot because she "trimmed" her stuff down several times over the years.  I was in tears actually as I saw her life reduced down to simply a few boxes.  It just makes me so sad and yet I know that most likely this is what will happen with us.  The way of life, I guess but it's damned depressing!


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## Luanne (Jul 14, 2018)

My mother, at 97, is still alive.  She's been living with my sister and her family for years.  My sister has slowing been weeding through Mom's stuff and getting rid of things no one in the family wants.  I got Mom's china (made in occupied Japan), but gave it to my older dd, who really wanted it.  I have two chairs that date back to just post Civil War.  I was going to try and sell them, but then decided to hang on to them.  There is really only one item of my mom's that I still want and that is her Imari plate that she brought back from Japan.  My parents lived in Tokyo for about 3 years after they were married, until she became pregnant with me.  Then they came back to the states.  I'm sure when Mom eventually passes away my sister and I will spend time going through the rest of her things, including her huge collection of photo albums to see who wants what.  I used to look at those albums every time I'd visit, but I haven't looked at them in years.


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## b2bailey (Jul 14, 2018)

Recently heard of a book I am planning to buy for my own stuff so my kids don't have to deal with:
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
 ===
If I were in your position, and had room, I would probably keep pink box in garage and store other stuff in it. I am a firm believer in donating. An individual item would need to fetch a minimum of $100 for me to take the trouble to sell it. For the rest -- any possibility of a bonfire? Somehow burning seems more respectful than dumping. Also really like the idea of: (1) notify others and (2) if they want 'something's to be kept, THEY have to take it.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

b2bailey said:


> Recently heard of a book I am planning to buy for my own stuff so my kids don't have to deal with:
> The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
> ===
> If I were in your position, and had room, I would probably keep pink box in garage and store other stuff in it. I am a firm believer in donating. An individual item would need to fetch a minimum of $100 for me to take the trouble to sell it. For the rest -- any possibility of a bonfire? Somehow burning seems more respectful than dumping. Also really like the idea of: (1) notify others and (2) if they want 'something's to be kept, THEY have to take it.



Great option.  I can't do it at my house, but I know people who have space for a fire.

The biggest thing will be going through the box one more time. I'm ready to move on, as long as my siblings agree.  We'll see.  

Dave


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

b2bailey said:


> Recently heard of a book I am planning to buy for my own stuff so my kids don't have to deal with:
> The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
> ===
> If I were in your position, and had room, I would probably keep pink box in garage and store other stuff in it. I am a firm believer in donating. An individual item would need to fetch a minimum of $100 for me to take the trouble to sell it. For the rest -- any possibility of a bonfire? Somehow burning seems more respectful than dumping. Also really like the idea of: (1) notify others and (2) if they want 'something's to be kept, THEY have to take it.



Good option.  But I think anything of value of any amount is already gone.  I'll know more when I go through the box for the last time. 

Dave


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

JanT said:


> DaveNW,
> 
> That's really a dilemma.
> 
> The way of life, I guess but it's damned depressing!



I'll figure it out.  But thanks for understanding.  It's a tough call. I think i just need to get my head in the right place.

Dave


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## pittle (Jul 14, 2018)

My mother was a pack-rat and compulsive shopper and I am neither!  When she went to assisted living in 2009, we "kids" set up April 2010 as the month we were going to unclutter, clean, and renovate her home to sell so that we would have enough money to keep her in a great place.  She had always called her home her "security" and she never knew how true that was!  My husband & I were retired and committed to being the coordinators and my 3 brothers and their spouses were assigned different weekend to come help us. The best thing was that when the siblings came, we had their weekend planned out and we increased the value for re-sale of my mother's home by $30,000 and only spent $6,000 to do it!  

The first week was consumed by hubs and I with sorting, then we took photos and sent to the others.  They were able to choose what they wanted and we put names on those items.  Then the first brother came to help and we took six+ 8x12 trailer loads of stuff (clothes & knick-nacks) to various charities that none of us wanted.  Household goods and furniture went to a Battered Women's group that helped the women set up new homes.  One brother claimed so much stuff that it became a joke - he had to rent a U-haul to take it all home! We did not care - Mom had said that anything that was sold had to be divided by 4 and if you sold something you took, you had to share the $. This brother had a new vacation home and one kid getting married.  The rest of us had one bankers box each with photos and other memorabilia that I found that first week, plus a few things.  

I am not a sentimentalist and more minimalist, so only brought a very few things to my home - they fit in my SUV.  It did not bother me to to give all that stuff away. Clutter and too much stuff drive me crazy. 

Since we are retirees, we downsized significantly when I retired in 2002, and then have up-sized since moving to Phoenix, but only with furniture.  We have told our 2 sons they can have anything they want and to give the rest to a Battered Women's re-homing group.  My only crazy extravagance for stuff is Hallmark ornaments. (I worked there 29 years and have continued purchasing each year and have enough to fill 3 huge trees + 5 of the 7 foot and smaller ones).  My grandson has the first choice on those and what he does not want, the 4 kids next door get what they want because they love to help me decorate and the rest can go on eBay or in the trash!

Hubs has tons of tools (neighbors say better than Ace Hardware that you can borrow) - kids & grandson get first choice, then the guys in the cul-de-sac get what they want and the rest goes to a thrift store.

We have this all written down and attached to the specific items in our Will(s).  I do not want my kids to have to spend a month to clean out my place someday and feel guilty that they do not want our stuff.  They have their own stuff!


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## Panina (Jul 14, 2018)

For me sentimental value is the memories and the love I have in my heart for those who departed. Always there, never can be taken away.

When my husband passed away, I kept what we both loved and collected together, his clown collection and some hampton memorabilia.  I made a photo book of our pictures, kept all the legal papers I might need one day. The rest I offerred to any family member, then had a garage sale and with that money got a piece of jewelry that reset my engagement ring so I could always wear something he gave me. The rest I gave to charity and whatever could not be given I threw away.

I never have felt sad or guilty what I gave away as I have what is important to me.

For my mother in law, I asked for one piece, the most important one to her, a small bowl with cover that was her grandmothers and she cherished.  I put it on display with her picture. No one else wanted it.

My dad, my mom has all his stuff. What I want are 2 hats I had made for him that said “Panina loves her daddy” with hearts on them.  In his older years he cherished them, wore them everyday, kissed them.

You are not obligated to keep the stuff nor should you feel guilty. Take what you need and want to have, Offer the rest to family and what is left set it free.


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## Patri (Jul 14, 2018)

pittle said:


> Hubs has tons of tools (neighbors say better than Ace Hardware that you can borrow) - kids & grandson get first choice, then the guys in the cul-de-sac get what they want and the rest goes to a thrift store.
> We have this all written down and attached to the specific items in our Will(s).  I do not want my kids to have to spend a month to clean out my place someday and feel guilty that they do not want our stuff.  They have their own stuff!


Your neighbors must love you. We just updated our wills, but I did not list anything specific to go to each child. They can work that out among themselves. They have nicer furniture than I do, and plenty of stuff too, so I imagine they will donate or sell most of our household items. I should have given them most of their childhood memorabilia by the time I kick the bucket. I wait until they buy their first house, so they will stay put for a while, and have the room to put the BOXES of stuff I assumed they would want to keep. I hope they at least go through it before throwing it.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

pittle said:


> We have this all written down and attached to the specific items in our Will(s).  I do not want my kids to have to spend a month to clean out my place someday and feel guilty that they do not want our stuff.  They have their own stuff!



You need to come live at my house for a few months.  I could use the help!  

Dave


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## bluehende (Jul 14, 2018)

Did anyone else have a mother that would come back from yard sales and thrift stores with a ton of stuff she bought for a quarter.  She would then turn to me and say whatever you do when I'm gone don't sell this stuff at a yard sale for a quarter.  She always thought her junk was valuable.  Technically I did what she said as I donated it for nothing.  Of course when I see her in the after life I imagine I will be in my usual doghouse.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

bluehende said:


> Did anyone else have a mother that would come back from yard sales and thrift stores with a ton of stuff she bought for a quarter.  She would then turn to me and say whatever you do when I'm gone don't sell this stuff at a yard sale for a quarter.  She always thought her junk was valuable.  Technically I did what she said as I donated it for nothing.  Of course when I see her in the after life I imagine I will be in my usual doghouse.



My Mom loved garage sales, both buying and selling.  She'd go "garagin' " on the weekends with my Aunt, and come home with a carload of crap she couldn't live without.  Stuff would accumulate until she decided she needed to have a garage sale of her own. Then she'd spend days setting up a sale, washing and folding clothing, cleaning up knickknacks and whatever, then labeling every item with a sales price. She had no idea what she had, or whether things were worth anything. On the day of the sale she'd throw caution to the wind, made crazy deals with people ("I'll let you take this entire box of clothes for 50 cents!") and at the end of the exhausting day, might make twenty or thirty dollars. 

I never saw the point of it. I dislike buying second hand (except timeshares.)  Once I'm done with something I don't want, I'll give it away.  Come to think of it, I do that with timeshares, too. 

Dave


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## mdurette (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> Dave,
> 
> One thing I'd suggest - take some photos of the stuff.  Especially those items you are not sure about.  If in doubt, discard it BUT at least with photos (or scans of papers) you'd still have some way to view these items.  It is hard to know today what might be valuable tomorrow to you from the standpoint of personal meaning.  Photos (or scans) at least allow your to still view these items.




This was my thought also.....


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## Jan M. (Jul 14, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> My Mom loved garage sales, both buying and selling.  She'd go "garagin' " on the weekends with my Aunt, and come home with a carload of crap she couldn't live without.  Stuff would accumulate until she decided she needed to have a garage sale of her own. Then she'd spend days setting up a sale, washing and folding clothing, cleaning up knickknacks and whatever, then labeling every item with a sales price. She had no idea what she had, or whether things were worth anything. On the day of the sale she'd throw caution to the wind, made crazy deals with people ("I'll let you take this entire box of clothes for 50 cents!") and at the end of the exhausting day, might make twenty or thirty dollars.
> 
> I never saw the point of it. I dislike buying second hand (except timeshares.)  Once I'm done with something I don't want, I'll give it away.  Come to think of it, I do that with timeshares, too.
> 
> Dave



It was a cheap enough and entertaining hobby for her. Got her out of the house and talking to people. All things considered not that bad. 

A couple who are friends of ours told us that they and his sister have been helping their father get rid of their mother's stuff after she died in May. Over 60 big garbage bags of stuff so far and they aren't done. A lot of it was years worth of buying clothes and purses that she never wore or used and still had the price tags on. And she didn't have cheap taste either. They've found over $2k in bills she left in her pockets of the clothes and purses she did wear/use.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

Jan M. said:


> It was a cheap enough and entertaining hobby for her. Got her out of the house and talking to people. All things considered not that bad.



Not criticizing my Mom at all.  And I agree - it _was_ cheap entertainment for her. But it turned me off to buying second hand.  Between her garage sales and my older brother outgrowing his clothes, I rarely had anything brand new until I left home. I never considered how much it affected me until one time someone asked me if I wanted to go to a Swap Meet with them, and I asked "Why?" He looked at me like I had two heads.  I guess I didn't inherit the garage sale gene. 

Dave


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## bbodb1 (Jul 14, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> ....  I guess I didn't inherit the garage sale gene.



Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year? 
Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.  
No....thank....you!


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year?
> Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.
> No....thank....you!



You need to come sit by me. LOL!

Dave


----------



## Panina (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year?
> Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.
> No....thank....you!


I look at garage sales the way I look at timeshares.  I am looking for an exceptional buy, a needle in the hay stack. I don’t go often but enjoy when I do.


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## bbodb1 (Jul 14, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> You need to come sit by me. LOL!
> 
> Dave





Panina said:


> I look at garage sales the way I look at timeshares.  I am looking for an exceptional buy, a needle in the hay stack. I don’t go often but enjoy when I do.



Dave! 

I don't think Panina will be joining us!


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> Dave!
> 
> I don't think Panina will be joining us!




Just means there are more goodies for her to buy.  I'm good with that. 

Dave


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## Panina (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> Dave!
> 
> I don't think Panina will be joining us!





DaveNW said:


> Just means there are more goodies for her to buy.  I'm good with that.
> 
> Dave


Your both making assumptions. Maybe I would find both of you more interesting then a garage sale. Tuggers vs garage sale, that is an easy one


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## bluehende (Jul 14, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> Me either - why are most garage sales held during the hottest periods of the year?
> Nothing like profusely sweating as you teeter on the brink of heat prostration while looking at other people's junk.
> No....thank....you!



Here it is usually May which is actually some of the nicest weather.  We go occasionally because my wife enjoys it and I use the opportunity for a nice walk.  I enjoy looking but have all the junk I need so rarely buy anything other than hardware to have on hand or a tool that I do not have.  Like others it was one of the few times I could get my mother out of the house the last few years.  She would fill up the car for a few bucks and had fun doing it.  I know she enjoyed buying things for me that I tossed as soon as I got home.  Quality time with mom.


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## DaveNV (Jul 14, 2018)

Panina said:


> Your both making assumptions. Maybe I would find both of you more interesting then a garage sale. Tuggers vs garage sale, that is an easy one



Thank you.  I'd like to think I'd be more interesting than a garage sale.  But if you (or anyone else) wanted to drop by one, I'd have no objections. I'd wait in the car.  

Dave


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## nkldavy (Jul 14, 2018)

For the "just stuff" that's left ... why not burn and put the ashes on mom's grave rather than into the garbage?  She'll have her stuff again.


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## bbodb1 (Jul 14, 2018)

Somehow, as I call it a night here and think back to this thread, this just feels appropriate:





Good night all.


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## slip (Jul 14, 2018)

Dave, you need to do a poll on here to see if your more interesting than a garage sale. 

I think you have this down. Get rid of what you don’t want and then you are done. Then remember, if someone asks about something years later, Your standard answer is, no, I never saw that.


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## klpca (Jul 15, 2018)

Dave re: your mom's cutting board. "Things" like those are the best.  My grandparents gave us their old camping coffee pot...probably 25+ years ago. It is easily 60 years old. It has gone on every camping trip since they gave it to us, and we talk about them every time we use it. It's probably made of tin and looks worthless,  but it is beyond valuable to us. We think of how many camping trips it's seen...both their trips and ours. It's traveled all over the western US and has been to many of the national parks, helping all of us start our days in the forest.  It's a little link from them to us, from the past to the present.

I love that you have your mom's cutting board. What a special gift.


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

nkldavy said:


> For the "just stuff" that's left ... why not burn and put the ashes on mom's grave rather than into the garbage?  She'll have her stuff again.



Interesting idea.  Not sure how the cemetery would feel about that.  But I like the idea. 

Dave


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

slip said:


> Dave, you need to do a poll on here to see if your more interesting than a garage sale.



Umm, nah.  Don't think so.  I might not like the answer.  As it stands, I can do my Sally Field impression:  "You like me!  You really like me!"  



slip said:


> I think you have this down. Get rid of what you don’t want and then you are done. Then remember, if someone asks about something years later, Your standard answer is, no, I never saw that.



Or my other favorite response:  "Oh, that was YOURS?"  

Dave


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

klpca said:


> Dave re: your mom's cutting board. "Things" like those are the best.  My grandparents gave us their old camping coffee pot...probably 25+ years ago. It is easily 60 years old. It has gone on every camping trip since they gave it to us, and we talk about them every time we use it. It's probably made of tin and looks worthless,  but it is beyond valuable to us. We think of how many camping trips it's seen...both their trips and ours. It's traveled all over the western US and has been to many of the national parks, helping all of us start our days in the forest.  It's a little link from them to us, from the past to the present.
> 
> I love that you have your mom's cutting board. What a special gift.



Just exactly that.  Thank you. It's nothing much, but it was hers.  And now it's mine.  

I have a few things that are not worth a nickel but that mean so much to me.  My Grandfather had a stone quarry on leased State land up in the mountains east of where I live.  It produced a very interesting kind of igneous rock he always called "Shuksan Greenstone."  It was used as a decorative rock on the outside of buildings, and later as the stones they used in dry saunas, since it wouldn't explode from the heat or when water was splashed on it. The more it weathers, the greener it gets. I have no idea of the real name for it, but it's very neat to see.  I helped Grandpa split stone many times up there over the years, working to load the back of his old 1950s-era Ford pickup with a half-ton or more of the split stone.  We'd haul it down the mountain and unload it at a local building materials yard.  I built a lot of muscles loading and unloading that stone for him.  He died in 1987 when I was still in the Navy in San Diego, and there was nobody to work the quarry any longer, so it reverted back to the State.

When I bought my house fifteen years ago, one of the first things I did was go up to the quarry, or what remains of it, and loaded the back of my own truck with a dozen pieces of the stone.  They sit along the sidewalk near the front porch of my home.  Every time I see it, I think of my Grandpa.  He was one of a kind, and I loved him dearly.  This stone is nothing, really, but to me, it's everything.

Sometimes I think the true value of something is what it means to the person who has it, and not necessarily what it might sell for. 

Dave


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## jehb2 (Jul 15, 2018)

To make it easy on yourself, take the stuff out of the original trunk.  Put the items in a cardboard box.  The kind of box you use to move your belongings.  Tape the box shut (as if you were moving).  Put the box in your garage for six months.  After six months throw out the entire box (don’t open it of course).


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## Talent312 (Jul 15, 2018)

In our neighborhood, peep put stuff on the street with a sign that says, "Free."
It usually stays there until the next garbage-pickup day. Then it disappears.
-----------------------
I'm quietly disposing of stuff in our garage. I can't have another garage sale.
Ever since I sold my DW's ancient waffle iron for $1, I'm forbidden.
Even though I replaced it with a new one.

.


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## lockewong (Jul 15, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> We are somewhat struggling from this in the reverse - with three kids, over the years we kept stuff we thought they might want.  Of course, that turns out NOT to be the case....
> Every time we try to address this, none of the kids are in a position to take very much so we just hold on to stuff for another year.
> As time goes by, I can also see the possibilities of them not wanting some of the stuff they said they would want coming to fruition.....
> Oh well....
> ...


We live in an area that has workshops to repair electronics or schools that use electronics to take apart and teach how these items work.  Maybe a school or trade school would have use.  As for the stuffed animals, I am hoarding a bunch and wonder if a shelter or an agency that helps foster children might appreciate the newer and cleaner ones.  As for the items from the parents...may be have everyone over for a final sort and "Goodbye" and then, make it clear that it will go to Goodwill or any thrift shop that is nearby.


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## WinniWoman (Jul 15, 2018)

I kept 1 or 2 very small momentos and some practical items like some mixing bowls and glasses I could use and had a liquidator come and empty my parents' entire house. Tried selling a few things-estate sale, ebay, facebook, etc.-but wasn't worth it- got nothing.

As it is we have thrown out plenty of stuff from our own house in anticipation of moving someday and also because most of it is unnecessary crap that I don't want our son to deal with when we pass. Just need to get hubby on board with his stuff in the garage, but he has made some progress.

I am into a simple lifestyle and almost a shaker like home. Easier to keep clean. Less tiring to look at.


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## WinniWoman (Jul 15, 2018)

Talent312 said:


> In our neighborhood, peep put stuff on the street with a sign that says, "Free."
> It usually stays there until the next garbage-pickup day. Then it disappears.
> -----------------------
> I'm quietly disposing of stuff in our garage. I can't have another garage sale.
> ...



When we put stuff out it disappears within an hour where we live!


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## SmithOp (Jul 15, 2018)

I live in the area where they film Storage Wars, I see Dave Hesters Yuuuuuuup truck in the neighborhood all the time, never been in his store.

You could put it all in storage then stop paying, like a timeshare viking ship...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

SmithOp said:


> I live in the area where they film Storage Wars, I see Dave Hesters Yuuuuuuup truck in the neighborhood all the time, never been in his store.
> 
> You could put it all in storage then stop paying, like a timeshare viking ship...
> 
> ...



HAHAHAHA!  I like that idea!! 

Dave


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## AnnaS (Jul 15, 2018)

Last year hubby's mom passed (dad passed 7 years prior).  We had a ton of things to go through.  We saved most of the pictures.  Any pictures of the kids, grandkids - we toss them out. We have our own/same pictures given to them.  She had a ton of religious items/pictures, etc.  I kissed them all and tossed them.  There was no way I could keep all she had.  I did keep one or two statues/in my garden.  Some furniture stayed with the new owners.  Donated some and tossed out the rest.  Clothing donated.  knick knacks, dishes, etc.  Some donated, some tossed and some in boxes for a possible future yard sale.  We did keep an item here and there but we really have no room/space in our own home.  We also kept some papers - birth certificate/army papers, etc.

My mom passed three years ago (dad passed 7 years ago too).  We are now selling the house - we had a tenant in for the last three years but the basement is full of her things.  We are doing the same thing.  Saving all pictures from many years ago.  All of us siblings want to share/divide some old pictures of them and my sister (also passed).   Saving significant papers again.  Donated, tossed and kept some things.  Just way, way too much to keep.   Siblings made one trip after she passed to see if they wanted anything.  So much new/good stuff.  We are hoping to split some either to keep or also future yard sale........just no room to put it all...........it's so sad

I told hubby one day our kids will do the same and toss it all out.  We buy, save, don't use, buy and it all adds up.........


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

AnnaS said:


> We buy, save, don't use, buy and it all adds up.........



That's the story at my house.  Problem is, since I don't buy used things, I have a house full of things I bought new, much of which has been replaced by other new stuff.  But I still have the old stuff.  I'm not sure what to do with it all.  For example, I have a stack of probably six laptops sitting here, that have each been replaced over the years. All of them work, although none of them are current operating systems.  I was planning to wipe or remove the hard drives, then donate them, but nobody wants them.  I hate to send them to the landfill, but I don't see a lot of other choices.  First world problem, most certainly.

Dave


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## Panina (Jul 15, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> That's the story at my house.  Problem is, since I don't buy used things, I have a house full of things I bought new, much of which has been replaced by other new stuff.  But I still have the old stuff.  I'm not sure what to do with it all.  For example, I have a stack of probably six laptops sitting here, that have each been replaced over the years. All of them work, although none of them are current operating systems.  I was planning to wipe or remove the hard drives, then donate them, but nobody wants them.  I hate to send them to the landfill, but I don't see a lot of other choices.  First world problem, most certainly.
> 
> Dave


Laptop, try Goodwill, we have donated our old computer stuff to them.


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## klpca (Jul 15, 2018)

Talent312 said:


> In our neighborhood, peep put stuff on the street with a sign that says, "Free."
> It usually stays there until the next garbage-pickup day. Then it disappears.
> -----------------------
> I'm quietly disposing of stuff in our garage. I can't have another garage sale.
> ...


That's what I would have expected but I've had great luck getting rid of odds and ends this way. I recently put some leftover ceramic tile on the curb for free. It had been in our garage for over 20 years. We were on the way to take friends on a brewery tour and everyone laughed about my optimism in getting rid of it but it was gone when we returned. It was probably 6 tiles - can't believe anyone wanted it but I'm happy that it's in their garage, not mine.


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## Glynda (Jul 15, 2018)

mpumilia said:


> When we put stuff out it disappears within an hour where we live!



Here too. It's a tradition for some to ride around checking out the streets the late afternoon/evening before trash pick-up day.


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## bluehende (Jul 15, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> That's the story at my house.  Problem is, since I don't buy used things, I have a house full of things I bought new, much of which has been replaced by other new stuff.  But I still have the old stuff.  I'm not sure what to do with it all.  For example, I have a stack of probably six laptops sitting here, that have each been replaced over the years. All of them work, although none of them are current operating systems.  I was planning to wipe or remove the hard drives, then donate them, but nobody wants them.  I hate to send them to the landfill, but I don't see a lot of other choices.  First world problem, most certainly.
> 
> Dave


Here we do have electronics recycling.  We take it to our local landfill where is it located.


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## bbodb1 (Jul 15, 2018)

Panina said:


> Laptop, try Goodwill, we have donated our old computer stuff to them.



*Be very careful to erase, reformat and thoroughly wipe the hard drive before doing this!*


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## Panina (Jul 15, 2018)

bbodb1 said:


> *Be very careful to erase, reformat and thoroughly wipe the hard drive before doing this!*


Yes, always have, a must


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## vacationhopeful (Jul 15, 2018)

Anyone want to bet what is in the family house bult in 1702 ... one room on the 3rd floor is call "The Chair Room". It has always been the room where any broken wood chair was taken to await repair. Even my 93yo aunt has no name atteched to WHOEVER had slept there.  Even she .. born in the house, knew of NO ONE who slept in that room (with 10' ceilings and at least 16x16 room size). And then there is all the relatives who slept in which room and who passed in which room. 

But then there are the funerals held at the house. The living room where the deceased would be laid out for the both the evening viewing and the service the next day. I was in 3rd grade for my first at-home funeral (great-grandmother) and a college freshman, when my grandmother passed, etc.


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## stmartinfan (Jul 15, 2018)

I think there is an organizing guru who advises asking a couple of basic questions about your “stuff” when cleaning...something like..Is it used?  And Does it bring you joy?  She then advises expressing your thanks to the items that get a no and ridding yourself of them.

It sounded odd to me when I first read a summary of it, but I think it's useful in dealing with items like your mother's.  You've already discovered what brings you joy...like her old cutting board...and the rest of the stuff doesn't rate a yes to the questions.  So you should have no guilt it letting it go.

I'm getting to that point with many items I brought from my mother's home.  A few bring me joy in my memories of her using them, but for many, time has dimmed the memories and they are just things that I have no use for or any remaining sentimental attachment.  I do think allowing yourself time to discover what will be meaningful long term is helpful and you appear to have already done that.


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## bbodb1 (Jul 15, 2018)

_Jumanji?
_
Seriously though, if those walls could talk imagine the stories they could tell.  It's in situations like this where some written history of a house would be a worthwhile treasure.


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

vacationhopeful said:


> Anyone want to bet what is in the family house bult in 1702 ... one room on the 3rd floor is call "The Chair Room". It has always been the room where any broken wood chair was taken to await repair. Even my 93yo aunt has no name atteched to WHOEVER had slept there.  Even she .. born in the house, knew of NO ONE who slept in that room (with 10' ceilings and at least 16x16 room size). And then there is all the relatives who slept in which room and who passed in which room.
> 
> But then there are the funerals held at the house. The living room where the deceased would be laid out for the both the evening viewing and the service the next day. I was in 3rd grade for my first at-home funeral (great-grandmother) and a college freshman, when my grandmother passed, etc.



I can't imagine having that sort of family history in one place. Would be amazing to try and figure out all the relatives who had come and gone there.

Dave


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## klpca (Jul 15, 2018)

stmartinfan said:


> I think there is an organizing guru who advises asking a couple of basic questions about your “stuff” when cleaning...something like..Is it used?  And Does it bring you joy?  She then advises expressing your thanks to the items that get a no and ridding yourself of them.


This could be the one: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changin...ks-20&linkId=61fece5e576b9c78a66941e903eeea81
I have a friend who swears by this method (The KonMari method). I don't have the patience to read the book first so I haven't tried it.  Maybe I will try. It would probably be inspirational!


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

klpca said:


> This could be the one: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changin...ks-20&linkId=61fece5e576b9c78a66941e903eeea81
> I have a friend who swears by this method (The KonMari method). I don't have the patience to read the book first so I haven't tried it.  Maybe I will try. It would probably be inspirational!



I've heard of the technique, and I may have to try it.  In the case of my Mom's things, I think my hesitation is coming from a place of "what if?" it has significant meaning to someone else. But as I say, it's been 22 years since Mom passed, I'd expect if there was anything in great demand from others, they'd have said something by now.

We'll see how it goes.  My sister came yesterday and brought a dozen boxes of Mom's things I didn't know were even still around.  I thought these things were long gone.  Collectibles and family heirloom things and such.  Turns out Sis has been hanging on to them, so we siblings could go through them later on.  Yikes!  It's all sorts of things.  And she didn't bring the trunk with her, which is too full to move by herself.  Makes me wonder what has been put back into the trunk I don't know about.  This is turning into something much bigger than I'd expected.

Dave


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## Jan M. (Jul 15, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> I've heard of the technique, and I may have to try it.  In the case of my Mom's things, I think my hesitation is coming from a place of "what if?" it has significant meaning to someone else. But as I say, it's been 22 years since Mom passed, I'd expect if there was anything in great demand from others, they'd have said something by now.
> 
> We'll see how it goes.  My sister came yesterday and brought a dozen boxes of Mom's things I didn't know were even still around.  I thought these things were long gone.  Collectibles and family heirloom things and such.  Turns out Sis has been hanging on to them, so we siblings could go through them later on.  Yikes!  It's all sorts of things.  And she didn't bring the trunk with her, which is too full to move by herself.  Makes me wonder what has been put back into the trunk I don't know about.  This is turning into something much bigger than I'd expected.
> 
> Dave



Whoa, didn't see that coming! Sneak drop off. And the pink trunk is still to come. Time to take those pictures and email them to anyone even remotely related to you even if it isn't their parent. At this point I would only give them 6 months. You don't need the clutter in your life or the stress it brings from having to look at it.  You might not identify what you feel regarding all this stuff as stress but on some level it is.


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

Jan M. said:


> Whoa, didn't see that coming! Sneak drop off. And the pink trunk is still to come. Time to take those pictures and email them to anyone even remotely related to you even if it isn't their parent. At this point I would only give them 6 months. You don't need the clutter in your life or the stress it brings from having to look at it.  You might not identify what you feel regarding all this stuff as stress but on some level it is.



I know, right? All these years I thought I had it figured out. Turns out I was very wrong.  I think stuff that was pulled out to send to other relatives never quite made it out the door, and as my Sis moved, she repacked stuff. No wonder she wants it out of her house now.

I've taken everyone's advice, and already scheduled a weekend next month for my Sister and my daughter to come help me sort through this stuff. I told my daughter whatever doesn't go that weekend will be donated, one way or the other.  My daughter's response was, "We don't have a big house, but we'll do what we can."  She's a good daughter, who loved her grandmother a lot. I think this may work out okay. 

Dave


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## vacationhopeful (Jul 15, 2018)

The county historical society printed a book on the family linage. I am listed as 10th generation New Jersey-ite.


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

vacationhopeful said:


> The county historical society printed a book on the family linage. I am listed as 10th generation New Jersey-ite.



I think that's great!  I have a book my great-something-or-other uncle put together back in the 1920s, tracing my paternal grandfather's lines back a long ways.  Through his mother's line, I think it stops in the 1500's in London. There are lots of anecdotal stories along the way, containing snippets of folklore about the family.  (e.g. Fairmount Park in Philadelphia is supposedly on land an ancestor leased to the City, but the lease was never recorded, [conveniently], so when the lease expired, the City kept the land.)  My daughter has been doing a lot of genealogy research on Ancestry, and has taken those lines even further back.  It's crazy to think of that amount of continued lineage. Pretty interesting, actually.

Dave


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## Karen G (Jul 15, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> My daughter has been doing a lot of genealogy research on Ancestry, and has taken those lines even further back.  It's crazy to think of that amount of continued lineage. Pretty interesting, actually.
> 
> Dave


It is amazing to think of all the ancestors each of us had.  Consider the following, and I'm talking just about biological ancestors:
Each of us has two biological parents. Each of them had two parents so we have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, 16 great-great grandparents, 32 great-great-great grandparents etc. If you keep multiplying the number by two and you figure an average of about 25 years between each generation, then in just 500 years there would have been 1,048,576 people beginning the production of YOU!


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## sun starved Gayle (Jul 15, 2018)

klpca said:


> This could be the one: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changin...ks-20&linkId=61fece5e576b9c78a66941e903eeea81
> I have a friend who swears by this method (The KonMari method). I don't have the patience to read the book first so I haven't tried it.  Maybe I will try. It would probably be inspirational!




I read the Japanese book. She says you should throw out everything that does not "bring you joy".  My toilet plunger does not "bring me joy", but when you need it, you need it ! I liked "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning" better. She makes a lot more sense to me. She refers to herself as "somewhere between 80 (I think) and 100". She was both sensible and amusing.


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

Karen G said:


> It is amazing to think of all the ancestors each of us had.  Consider the following, and I'm talking just about biological ancestors:
> Each of us has two biological parents. Each of them had two parents so we have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, 16 great-great grandparents, 32 great-great-great grandparents etc. If you keep multiplying the number by two and you figure an average of about 25 years between each generation, then in just 500 years there would have been 1,048,576 people beginning the production of YOU!



Whoa!  I had never thought of it that way.  That's one big family reunion! 

And that's just biologics.  Factor in adoptees, remarriages, "raised by" and whatever else, and the numbers are off the charts.

Dave


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## bluehende (Jul 15, 2018)

sun starved Gayle said:


> I read the Japanese book. She says you should throw out everything that does not "bring you joy".  My toilet plunger does not "bring me joy", but when you need it, you need it ! I liked "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning" better. She makes a lot more sense to me. She refers to herself as "somewhere between 80 (I think) and 100". She was both sensible and amusing.



My plunger brings  me as much joy as anything in my house.  Every time it works I am ecstatic that I do not have to now spend hours with a pipe wrench in my hands.


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## rhonda (Jul 15, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> I know there is no easy answer, but I'm looking for insights here.  I hope those of you who have been through this can share your thoughts.
> <snip>
> What do I do with this stuff?


I love TUG!  Dave, thanks for raising this question ... and to all participants thanks for offering your thoughts.  I could only read through the first few posts today ... and have marked this thread for later reading.  It is a hot button in my life ... thanks for discussing it!


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## vacationhopeful (Jul 15, 2018)

Updated my avartar .. for a very short time. This is the NEW addition (1859) park of the house ... each floor gets less tall in height and each floor gets another room. First floor of this part has 2 rooms, 2nd floor had 3 room and 3rd floor has 4 rooms. The TOP roof top is a cupola ... to watch the farm and to VENT heat out of the floor from the front door up the open center stairway and out all the windows of the cupola. This section is kilned brick from the creek bed on the farm.

The oldest part is behind this section and is a rubble-rock field stone covered by stucco. It is way shorter in height but still 3 floors. I have only been on 2 of those floors ... the 3rd floor was a room or two where the farm helper lived.


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## clifffaith (Jul 15, 2018)

IN 1980 my father and aunt divided up my grandmother's things when she had to move to a nursing home. I went with him to Ohio and put my two cents worth in. What they did was make two small piles of like items (China, jewelry, photos, etc). They'd work with piles of half a dozen items per pile at a time, until they (really meaning my aunt and me because my dad really didn't care) would be happy with either pile. Then they drew cards and high card got to pick which pile they wanted. Some things like gold or diamond jewelry they had appraised so that dollar value, not just "looks" was taken into account.  I really wanted an enameled pansy brooch with a diamond center, and would have cheerfully given up the gold pansy brooch with the much bigger diamond, but ended up with the non-enameled pin. 

In 2002 I finally got my Victorian style home, so was able to display lots of grandma's things. Now we are in the early stages of downsizing so I've been listing things on eBay -- including family photos from the 1870s & 1880s because at this point I have no real interest in the family genealogy. My sister has no interest in any of grandma's things, and as best I can tell she has no interest in my parents' (83 & 85) things even though she lives with them. 

I've been trying to get dad interested in me listing his Lionel trains from 1935 or so on eBay. A couple years ago he said he still wanted to keep them (haven't seen the light of day since they moved into the current house in 1973). Last week he said he was ready and needed to photograph and then take the train tracks off the 4'x8' mounting board they are on. I said hold on, we need to see if anyone is buying the track before we go to the trouble, and I need to know what gauge he has and I need to take possession of the items so I can research them. Then he commented that the engine doesn't work -- ok, that's fine we'll make a note of it. About that time I realized he thought the whole set was going one place, and when I told him that wasn't happening, everything gets listed separately, he appeared to lose interest.


----------



## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

rhonda said:


> I love TUG!  Dave, thanks for raising this question ... and to all participants thanks for offering your thoughts.  I could only read through the first few posts today ... and have marked this thread for later reading.  It is a hot button in my life ... thanks for discussing it!



Happy to help!   It's a topic that should be discussed.  Nobody wants to think about losing a parent, but what happens after they're gone, things are (you think) settled with their affairs, and it's time to move on with your own life?  As I'm learning, things I thought were handled years ago are very much still around. (And currently sitting in my garage.) 

Dave


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## easyrider (Jul 15, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> Happy to help!   It's a topic that should be discussed.  Nobody wants to think about losing a parent, but what happens after they're gone, things are (you think) settled with their affairs, and it's time to move on with your own life?  As I'm learning, things I thought were handled years ago are very much still around. (And currently sitting in my garage.)
> 
> Dave



Your timing kind of seems to be matching up with mine regarding this topic. I have about 10 crates of photos , 3 crates of slides, 1 crate of videos, an old 8mm tape player / recorder, a slide projector, 2 crates of miscellaneous mementos, 2 crates of paperwork which includes tax information and documents for the trust and it does take up alot of room. 

I tried to scan the photos for everyone but only made one disc so far. It took a couple of days and I doubt that I'm going to spend another day on it. 

I did manage to get rid of all of the nic nacky things, clothing, furniture and accumulated items. Some of this accumulation was given to family members, some sold at an estate sale but finally it came down to calling the Salvation Army and Habitat for Humanity to take what they could use leaving the rest for the landfill.

I think I'm stuck with the photos forever and the documents for another 4 years for tax reasons. 

Now I'm working on getting rid of my junk. 

Bill


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## DaveNV (Jul 15, 2018)

easyrider said:


> I think I'm stuck with the photos forever and the documents for another 4 years for tax reasons.
> 
> Now I'm working on getting rid of my junk.
> 
> Bill



I feel your pain, Bill.  Maybe I'll run into you at the landfill. 

Dave


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## Sugarcubesea (Jul 16, 2018)

I'm in the process of selling my parents home and as much as I want to keep everthing, I have to get rid of most and keep just the few items that mean the most to me...Its so hard


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## Krteczech (Jul 17, 2018)

I was able to clean up and sell my parents house in three weeks several years ago. I kept just a few things, but I still have several painting that belonged to my parents stored at my friends house. The challenge is what to do with my mom’s portrait as a child.  Her family had portraits painted by true artists, they sell for good money. What would you do? What is the respectful way? I just retired and purposely downsized and my house style is nothing like what their house was. Also, I have no close relatives and I live on different continent.


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## klpca (Jul 17, 2018)

Krteczech said:


> I was able to clean up and sell my parents house in three weeks several years ago. I kept just a few things, but I still have several painting that belonged to my parents stored at my friends house. The challenge is what to do with my mom’s portrait as a child.  Her family had portraits painted by true artists, they sell for good money. What would you do? What is the respectful way? I just retired and purposely downsized and my house style is nothing like what their house was. Also, I have no close relatives and I live on different continent.


Does it have sentimental value to you? Can you reframe it in a style more to your liking? I love the thought of old/new in a house, and especially when old has a story. I don't know what your home style is, but look at modern victorian for starters. I would be inclined to keep a portrait of a relative.


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## WinniWoman (Jul 17, 2018)

Krteczech said:


> I was able to clean up and sell my parents house in three weeks several years ago. I kept just a few things, but I still have several painting that belonged to my parents stored at my friends house. The challenge is what to do with my mom’s portrait as a child.  Her family had portraits painted by true artists, they sell for good money. What would you do? What is the respectful way? I just retired and purposely downsized and my house style is nothing like what their house was. Also, I have no close relatives and I live on different continent.




I don't know what you can do, except try to sell them.

I have a painting of our home that my dad did- he was an artist- and when we painted the walls in our house again, I took it down. Right now it is in a closet but I think when/if we sell our home I will put it in the attic for the new owners to find.


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## Patri (Jul 17, 2018)

mpumilia said:


> I don't know what you can do, except try to sell them.
> I have a painting of our home that my dad did- he was an artist- and when painted the walls again I took it down. Right now it is in a closet but I think when/if we sell I will put it in the attic for the new owners to find.


Leave a note that it is a gift that goes with the house, or they may try to track you down.


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## easyrider (Jul 17, 2018)

mpumilia said:


> I don't know what you can do, except try to sell them.
> 
> I have a painting of our home that my dad did- he was an artist- and when we painted the walls in our house again, I took it down. Right now it is in a closet but I think when/if we sell our home I will put it in the attic for the new owners to find.



I'm stuck with a 5 ft x 3 ft canvas print in a huge wood frame that adds a ft both ways to 6 ft x 4 ft of my wifes family with dog back in 1980. In a matching frame is my father in law looking like the urban cowboy of 1980 taking up 3 ft x 4 ft. These canvas prints are huge and the huge frames are dated.

Luckily , I was able to get rid of the huge high school senior photos on canvas in big frames of the 5 girls. All but 1 anyway.

Bill


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## clifffaith (Jul 17, 2018)

mpumilia said:


> I don't know what you can do, except try to sell them.
> 
> I have a painting of our home that my dad did- he was an artist- and when we painted the walls in our house again, I took it down. Right now it is in a closet but I think when/if we sell our home I will put it in the attic for the new owners to find.



We have a painting of our Victorian home done by an artist in Charleston (we sent her a photo after seeing her work). It now hangs in Cliff's office in our Mexican Folk Arty home. It takes up quite a bit of wall space, but I suppose we'll move it with us when we go to the old folk's home. If it hadn't cost us $3K I'd leave it with the folks currently residing in "Big Pink", but don't think I can bring myself to be that generous even though I know no one would give me $20 for it at a garage sale. Actually I ought to give it to our friend/realtor who wanted me to repaint the darn thing white because he thought that was why the ginger-breaded pink &  ivory home (with mint, hunter & burgundy detailing) wasn't selling. After 6 months we had someone else sell it.


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## Krteczech (Jul 17, 2018)

mpumilia said:


> I don't know what you can do, except try to sell them.
> 
> I have a painting of our home that my dad did- he was an artist- and when we painted the walls in our house again, I took it down. Right now it is in a closet but I think when/if we sell our home I will put it in the attic for the new owners to find.


That’s what I did with my dad’s paintings of his childhood home and paintings of the neighborhood. I gave I to new owners, who kept it.


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## Krteczech (Jul 17, 2018)

klpca said:


> Does it have sentimental value to you? Can you reframe it in a style more to your liking? I love the thought of old/new in a house, and especially when old has a story. I don't know what your home style is, but look at modern victorian for starters. I would be inclined to keep a portrait of a relative.


Honestly, there is very little sentimental value for me. The portrait came to my parents house after my grandparents died. At that time I was already living on my own. I just got rid (sold or donated) most of the wall art and furniture we kept in our large old house in Minneapolis. Downsized, moved west with intention to live minimalist lifestyle. I will probably wait a year or two and offer it for sale in an art auction. Poor friend of mine has it in her home office behind some furniture and jokes about it.


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## Krteczech (Jul 17, 2018)

easyrider said:


> I'm stuck with a 5 ft x 3 ft canvas print in a huge wood frame that adds a ft both ways to 6 ft x 4 ft of my wifes family with dog back in 1980. In a matching frame is my father in law looking like the urban cowboy of 1980 taking up 3 ft x 4 ft. These canvas prints are huge and the huge frames are dated.
> 
> Luckily , I was able to get rid of the huge high school senior photos on canvas in big frames of the 5 girls. All but 1 anyway.
> 
> Bill


Bill, you used the right words “ being stuck with “. That’s exactly how I feel.


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## dougp26364 (Jul 19, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> I know there is no easy answer, but I'm looking for insights here.  I hope those of you who have been through this can share your thoughts.
> 
> My parents were divorced years ago, and are both deceased.  My Mom died 22 years ago, after a short illness.  The family kind of fell apart after her death, and we siblings did the best we could to take care of her affairs, which she hadn't had time to arrange ahead of time.  Furniture and valuables were divided up, the house sold, and whatever else was required to take care of things happened soon after her passing. None of that is what I'm asking about.
> 
> ...



Without reading anything else in this thread I thought I'd go back to the original question and tell you what I've done. We found ourselves in a similar situation. My father died in 1988, mom followed in 1998. My mother had kept literally EVERYTHING from greeting cards to pictures to nick-nacks from their entire marriage. Many of these things still had a place in my emotional memory but had very little value. Her death also coincided with the building of our home.

Initially much of my mothers things went into storage until the completion of our house. These were moved in U-Hauls largest available truck PLUS another large trailer, so there was a lot of shit. Upon completion of the house it was slowly sorted and moved into our house. Initially I kept almost everything. It was a little to difficult to just toss out, give away or sell memento's of my childhood memory. Over time that changed as it became more and more clutter over the years. Some maybe a time capsule but, time moves on. We tried a garage sale. Very little of it sold as much was vintage 1970's crap. If you didn't like Sunflowers, mice, or owl's you probably were at the wrong garage sale. I took a ton of that stuff to Goodwill eventually. 

I still have boxes upon boxes of old photo's stored in boxes under a bed. I've been able to move on from most of my mom's Christmas decorations as the children of moved out and we have no grandchildren and very little prospect of ever having grandchildren. The furniture that was good furniture I still have. It's "vintage" and of little value but it was sturdy furniture and would be very expensive to replace with like quality, so why get rid of that? We have on room which is an "antique" room where the really old stuff is stored and displayed. The nick-nacks? Well, over time they've lost their luster and sentimental value. I've kept a few as memories of their lives around the house but much has been either discarded if it had no value or, if it had any value given to charities like the DAV or Goodwill. Family that has come by (which has been very, very few) has been allowed to take items they valued. My mom was a pretty good artist and many of her paintings were eventually taken by other family members. A few things that were very much my father now reside in some of his bothers, nephews and nieces homes. 

I hung onto stuff initially out of sentiment. Eventually you trip over it enough or realize it's been in a box for 20 years and you begin to move on. Don't get me wrong, the house remains cluttered with some of those memories but, not enough I'm tripping over them anymore.


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## Glynda (Jul 19, 2018)

mpumilia said:


> I don't know what you can do, except try to sell them.
> 
> I have a painting of our home that my dad did- he was an artist- and when we painted the walls in our house again, I took it down. Right now it is in a closet but I think when/if we sell our home I will put it in the attic for the new owners to find.



After our contract for this house was ratified, the owners asked if we'd like to buy any of the furnishings or accessories in the house. We asked the price of a rug and the painting of the house that was hanging on the wall. The owners were happy for us to have them, no charge. I did have the painting reframed and plan to leave it for the next owners when/if we sell.  I think it would be fun for buyers to find your father's painting in the attic but I agree with Patri's suggestion that you leave a note with it.


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## DaveNV (Jul 19, 2018)

dougp26364 said:


> I hung onto stuff initially out of sentiment. Eventually you trip over it enough or realize it's been in a box for 20 years and you begin to move on. Don't get me wrong, the house remains cluttered with some of those memories but, not enough I'm tripping over them anymore.



Thanks, Doug.  I'm about at that point in my world, too.  I loved my Mom greatly, but at the end of the day, my memories of her are MY memories. She was a very social woman, a "serial monogamist" who dated a lot between marriages. (Lots of boyfriends, then she'd marry one. They'd later divorce, she'd date like crazy, and then marry a different one. She was married six times, always trying to find the right one.  Number Six was the one.  They were together twenty years, till her passing. I think they'd have stayed together to the end if she hadn't died so suddenly.) Her memories she kept keepsakes about are varied, and include a lot of people I never met.

I opened a few boxes to see what's in there, and it looks like a lot of things I thought had been sent off to others, or that was sold, are still there.  Even my Great Grandmother's "flop griddle" (look it up) she used when she was a cook for a logging camp a hundred years ago.  A quick check online indicates it's worth about $75. <sigh> This is going to be tedious.

Dave


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## Glynda (Jul 19, 2018)

When we moved my mother to our home in SC we first asked my late stepfather's daughters what they would like and arranged for them to have most of those items. Mother had already given them just about everything they wanted of their father's upon his death five years before. Other items of his that Mother couldn't bear to part with came with her to our home but I will give them to his daughters upon her death. I have no problem with that. Then we asked my daughter, granddaughter and cousins if they would like anything. Only a few. After that, we had a big garage sale at the home in Florida and did quite well. The rest was taken away to Goodwill or brought here. Once here, some were sent to a local auction house to be sold though they brought little. It was really hard for Mother to let go and she still talks of items she wishes she had. Mostly little things like kitchen tools. When she is gone, it will be hard for me to not be sentimental about the items here that she treasured, but I don't treasure most of them and will send them to auction or Goodwill. Funny the things that we _do _care about. Two items that I remember from my childhood home, and was given years ago, were broken in my possession. One, a little German porcelain bird, I was able to find and replace via eBay. Another, a vintage ceramic wall pocket shaped and painted as a "Southern belle" dispensed string and hung of the walls of our laundry rooms for many years.  I have been unable to find another yet but have an ongoing search on several sites. I miss her.

When we downsized to move here, we sent out notices to our neighbors that we were having a moving sale and sold some furniture and rugs that way. The rest went to auction houses and Goodwill. I was used to letting go of things because we have moved so often and have had 21 homes. Hubby is not so good at it. I tell him to take photos of the items and put them in an online album and get rid of them!

This has me feeling nostalgic.


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## Cornell (Jul 19, 2018)

There is a Facebook account that I follow on that covers a lot of what's being discussed here , called Be More With Less.  I started reading it when I downsized my home and had to get rid of lots of things.  It talks about the hanging on to sentimental items and alternatives for doing so.  I found it to be very helpful.  Courtney (the owner of this account) talks about living with 30-something pieces of clothing.  That's where I draw the line   I am not a sentimental person, so I have a hard time relating to people who want to hold on to "things".


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## DaveNV (Jul 19, 2018)

Cornell said:


> There is a Facebook account that I follow on that covers a lot of what's being discussed here , called Be More With Less.  I started reading it when I downsized my home and had to get rid of lots of things.  It talks about the hanging on to sentimental items and alternatives for doing so.  I found it to be very helpful.  Courtney (the owner of this account) talks about living with 30-something pieces of clothing.  That's where I draw the line   I am not a sentimental person, so I have a hard time relating to people who want to hold on to "things".



Thanks.  I'll look this up.  I'm not much of a saver or collector, as much as I'm a "let me put this aside and deal with it later" person.  But then something else comes along, and the previous item is still here.  But not with everything - I routinely go through my clothes closets and dispose of what doesn't fit or that I don't want anymore.  I regularly donate good used clothing to coworker families, a local homeless shelter, and places like Goodwill.  But in this case, my Mom's "memorabilia" are things that meant something only to her.  I need to get beyond the idea that I'm saving it for somebody, since that somebody may not exist.  I have my own stuff, some of my kids' stuff, my Dad's stuff, and now my Mom's stuff.  I plan to retire next year, and I really, REALLY want to clear it out - all of it. I don't want my kids to have to wade through acres of my stuff asking, "Why did Dad hang onto all this crap?"  

Dave


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## Cornell (Jul 19, 2018)

https://bemorewithless.com/heartstuff/


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## b2bailey (Jul 19, 2018)

Cornell said:


> https://bemorewithless.com/heartstuff/



Liked this a lot.
Thanks for sharing.


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## JudyH (Jul 19, 2018)

I had to clean out my parents and my husbands parents homes in the past 10 years.  I got to the point where I stopped being sad, and I was just mad that they didn't get rid of so much on their own.  Like how many pairs of pastel colored Florida pants did my father need to keep when at 97 he hadn't been for 10 years and certainly wasn't going back any time soon?  
We gave away everything that anyone wanted as much as we could. Much went to Good Will and Habitat for Humanity.  A lot with price tags still on.
I am still left with two sets of very good china that I can still sell to Replacements.com.  I have a few photos of people I loved.  Didn't keep any of people I didn't care for.

When we moved to FL 4 years ago, I completely purged our house.  If I didn't use it in two years it went out.  If it didn't bring me great joy, it went out.  My kids didn't want much.  A good friend took a lot of the furniture and my husband's horse.

Now here in FL, all my mementos are in one small cardboard box, and one display case.  I never want my kids to have to deal with getting rid of stuff like I had to.


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## DaveNV (Jul 19, 2018)

JudyH said:


> I had to clean out my parents and my husbands parents homes in the past 10 years.  I got to the point where I stopped being sad, and I was just mad that they didn't get rid of so much on their own.  Like how many pairs of pastel colored Florida pants did my father need to keep when at 97 he hadn't been for 10 years and certainly wasn't going back any time soon?
> We gave away everything that anyone wanted as much as we could. Much went to Good Will and Habitat for Humanity.  A lot with price tags still on.
> I am still left with two sets of very good china that I can still sell to Replacements.com.  I have a few photos of people I loved.  Didn't keep any of people I didn't care for.
> 
> ...




Come stay at my house for awhile, would you? I need your great attitude to rub off on me. Although I don’t think we have a horse here... 

Dave


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## bizaro86 (Jul 19, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> Come stay at my house for awhile, would you? I need your great attitude to rub off on me. *Although I don’t think we have a horse her*e...
> 
> Dave



You're already ahead of the game! Now you just need to get rid of everything unnecessary that isn't a horse and you'll be good to go!


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## DaveNV (Jul 19, 2018)

bizaro86 said:


> You're already ahead of the game! Now you just need to get rid of everything unnecessary that isn't a horse and you'll be good to go!



Sort of like the Art teacher presenting each of his students with a block of marble and a chisel. He tells them to remove everything that isn’t a great statue.

Dave


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## Cornell (Jul 19, 2018)

JudyH said:


> I had to clean out my parents and my husbands parents homes in the past 10 years.  I got to the point where I stopped being sad, and I was just mad that they didn't get rid of so much on their own.  Like how many pairs of pastel colored Florida pants did my father need to keep when at 97 he hadn't been for 10 years and certainly wasn't going back any time soon?
> We gave away everything that anyone wanted as much as we could. Much went to Good Will and Habitat for Humanity.  A lot with price tags still on.
> I am still left with two sets of very good china that I can still sell to Replacements.com.  I have a few photos of people I loved.  Didn't keep any of people I didn't care for.
> 
> ...




I downsized a year and a half ago and rid myself of so so so so much.  IT took 6 months and was a ton of work.  I never want to go through that again or re-accumulate stuff.  Now when I purchase something, I force myself to rid myself of something else so I can't get back into that same situation.  My life is so much easier and simpler as a result.  Some of the best money I spent was on 1-800-GOT JUNK.


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## Patri (Jul 19, 2018)

This is such an interesting thread. And just think, once our memories are gone, all that stuff is meaningless to everyone else. Secondhand stores and even museums are full of things that once brought great joy and utility to others. Now they go to different people for certain uses and maybe to create a new memory chain.


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## JudyH (Jul 21, 2018)

I love to get rid of stuff.  Pay my way to your house and i will unclutter it for free.


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## WinniWoman (Jul 22, 2018)

JudyH said:


> I had to clean out my parents and my husbands parents homes in the past 10 years.  I got to the point where I stopped being sad, and I was just mad that they didn't get rid of so much on their own.  Like how many pairs of pastel colored Florida pants did my father need to keep when at 97 he hadn't been for 10 years and certainly wasn't going back any time soon?
> We gave away everything that anyone wanted as much as we could. Much went to Good Will and Habitat for Humanity.  A lot with price tags still on.
> I am still left with two sets of very good china that I can still sell to Replacements.com.  I have a few photos of people I loved.  Didn't keep any of people I didn't care for.
> 
> ...



Exactly.

Amazing how much money is wasted. I like to throw everything out. I like everything neat and streamlined.

Hubby- not as much, I keep telling him he can't take it to the nursing home! And- think of our poor son having to deal with all the crap.


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## klpca (Jul 22, 2018)

JudyH said:


> I love to get rid of stuff.  Pay my way to your house and i will unclutter it for free.


Me too Judy. Purging is absolutely cathartic. I don't understand why everyone doesn't do it 

About 15 years ago our house seemed too small so we went looking for another house. After awhile I decided that the real problem was stuff, so I spent a few weekends purging and lo and behold, our house was not too small. A few years ago I re-purged and thought I was done. I only saved the important things, but I have recently noticed that I haven't touched most of those boxes since I packed them and put them in a closet. I feel another purging coming on.


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## klpca (Jul 22, 2018)

Patri said:


> This is such an interesting thread. And just think, once our memories are gone, all that stuff is meaningless to everyone else. Secondhand stores and even museums are full of things that once brought great joy and utility to others. Now they go to different people for certain uses and maybe to create a new memory chain.


When I am at work I look at my 25 year-old stapler and think jeez...this thing will probably be around long after I'm gone. It makes my brain hurt sometimes.


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## DaveNV (Jul 22, 2018)

klpca said:


> When I am at work I look at my 25 year-old stapler and think jeez...this thing will probably be around long after I'm gone. It makes my brain hurt sometimes.



HAHA!  Same here.  I have a red Swingline stapler on my desk I've had more than 30 years.  It's the classic style, industrial strength, made of metal.  Weighs about two pounds. Works great about 98% of the time.  Every so often it jams and eats a few staples, for some reason.  I blame the staples.

Dave


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## klpca (Jul 22, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> HAHA!  Same here.  I have a red Swingline stapler on my desk I've had more than 30 years.  It's the classic style, industrial strength, made of metal.  Weighs about two pounds. Works great about 98% of the time.  Every so often it jams and eats a few staples, for some reason.  I blame the staples.
> 
> Dave


Wait - you have Milton's stapler?


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## DaveNV (Jul 22, 2018)

klpca said:


> Wait - you have Milton's stapler?



Ssh!  Don't tell him!  But yes, I have it. 

Dave


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## vacationhopeful (Jul 22, 2018)

We are a sick group .... we who 'covert' old staplers?


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## klpca (Jul 22, 2018)

DaveNW said:


> Ssh!  Don't tell him!  But yes, I have it.
> 
> Dave
> 
> View attachment 7503


He's been looking for that, Dave!


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## Panina (Jul 22, 2018)

vacationhopeful said:


> We are a sick group .... we who 'covert' old staplers?


What does this say about me? My favorite.


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## clifffaith (Jul 22, 2018)

Panina said:


> What does this say about me? My favorite.
> View attachment 7509


That's a classic, for sure!


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## billymach4 (Jul 22, 2018)

I will hire a crew of Junk removal specialists and have them haul it all away. Way too much crap. Nothing sentimental.


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## rapmarks (Aug 4, 2018)

My husbands step brother just shipped huge boxes of slides and 8mm films to us.  On going through the boxes, most of the films are my husbands mother and her second husband on vacation.  Perhaps thirty reels per vacation.  When we closed up the house twenty years ago, my husband wanted nothing to do with a closet literally filled top to bottom with photo albums of them on vacation.  They were discarded.   Now he wants to keep basically inaccessible reels of their vacation, the same reels he absolutely refused to wTch when they returned from their trips.
Meanwhile I am holding all the slides to the light trying to determine who is in them.  All the slide viewers have burned out bulbs.  I have already set aside 25 boxes of slides from their tripe.  I only want to keep anything with my husband, his brother, his grandmother and family members.  
So the battle is on.


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## DaveNV (Aug 4, 2018)

rapmarks said:


> My husbands step brother just shipped huge boxes of slides and 8mm films to us.  On going through the boxes, most of the films are my husbands mother and her second husband on vacation.  Perhaps thirty reels per vacation.  When we closed up the house twenty years ago, my husband wanted nothing to do with a closet literally filled top to bottom with photo albums of them on vacation.  They were discarded.   Now he wants to keep basically inaccessible reels of their vacation, the same reels he absolutely refused to wTch when they returned from their trips.
> Meanwhile I am holding all the slides to the light trying to determine who is in them.  All the slide viewers have burned out bulbs.  I have already set aside 25 boxes of slides from their tripe.  I only want to keep anything with my husband, his brother, his grandmother and family members.
> So the battle is on.



I'd suggest investing $20 and get this gadget.  Would make the process much easier.  

https://www.amazon.com/Kaiser-20201...3427276&sr=8-9&keywords=handheld+slide+viewer

Dave


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## rapmarks (Aug 4, 2018)

There are a lot of double slides, which I believe are stero view, kind of like old fashioned 3D.    My mother in law had a special camera


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## rapmarks (Aug 4, 2018)

We have slide viewers, batteries are corroded, hope we can get them to work.  A box of a dozen empty reels.  A film splicer, and shot after shot of the same scenery with no one in the picture.


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## moonstone (Aug 5, 2018)

rapmarks said:


> We have slide viewers, batteries are corroded, hope we can get them to work.  A box of a dozen empty reels.  A film splicer, and shot after shot of the same scenery with no one in the picture.



A family member is converting dozens of trays of his slides into digital format with a little contraption he purchased from Amazon (I believe it was less than $100). It plugs into the computer (via the USB port) and when the slides are inserted they can be copied into the computer and then onto a DVD or stick for sharing or storage. It seems to be a tedious task but at least the slides can be viewed on a larger screen to see if they are worth keeping or to possibly identify who/what is in the photo.

I can hardly wait to see some of the photos from my childhood since my Mom threw out all our family photos when they moved 10 years ago, since she said at the time, "they were just old photos"! (she was in the early stages of dementia). 


~Diane


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## clifffaith (Aug 5, 2018)

For some reason slides sell well on eBay. I've let my parents know not to go into a decluttering frenzy and toss their slide boxes.


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## rapmarks (Aug 5, 2018)

clifffaith said:


> For some reason slides sell well on eBay. I've let my parents know not to go into a decluttering frenzy and toss their slide boxes.


so sell the slides we don't want on ebay?     man we could make some money


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## bizaro86 (Aug 5, 2018)

My grandparents are downsizing from their large acreage to a condo in town. We offered to come help today, and went home with a car full of national geographic magazines to get rid of. It appeared to be a complete set from approx. 1965 to present....

We couldn't find anyone interested in them, so I think they'll be going in the recycling bin (over a 3-4 week period...)

We're going back next week to help with the rest of the stuff in the basement.


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## rapmarks (Aug 5, 2018)

I see that I shouldn’t toss anything but rather list on eBay.  However I don’t see many bids


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## rapmarks (Aug 5, 2018)

moonstone said:


> A family member is converting dozens of trays of his slides into digital format with a little contraption he purchased from Amazon (I believe it was less than $100). It plugs into the computer (via the USB port) and when the slides are inserted they can be copied into the computer and then onto a DVD or stick for sharing or storage. It seems to be a tedious task but at least the slides can be viewed on a larger screen to see if they are worth keeping or to possibly identify who/what is in the photo.
> 
> I can hardly wait to see some of the photos from my childhood since my Mom threw out all our family photos when they moved 10 years ago, since she said at the time, "they were just old photos"! (she was in the early stages of dementia).
> 
> ...


I looked on eBay and see lots of these items for sale


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## bnoble (Aug 6, 2018)

clifffaith said:


> For some reason slides sell well on eBay. I've let my parents know not to go into a decluttering frenzy and toss their slide boxes.


This feels like it would be across my own personal line, because I can't imagine selling my parents' slides, though I also don't want to keep them...


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## vacationhopeful (Aug 6, 2018)

My youngest sister (10 years younger) uploads my father's slides onto a computer disk. She brought a 'thing' to scan them into the digital age. I had little interest in those as they included several trips to Europe with my younger siblings and domestic road trips thru out the US. 

I sort of was the "child" who left home at 14 or earlier ... my father and I did NOT get along.


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## Patri (Aug 6, 2018)

There is a market for old photos (and probably slides) even of scenes with no people. People like to see buildings, cars, places of the past. Might be too much work to actually hook up with buyers though. I do regret when we had to purge my parents' stuff over a few days, my sister threw all the slides into the dumpster. She didn't consult with the rest of us. She said they were of my folks' later year trips, which would not matter to me. But I later thought, I bet there were slides of our family growing up too, and those photos would have been precious. My sister said she did not want strangers to see pictures of her when she was young (if we had tried to sell any)......I really wish we had had the time to look them over, but we also did not have a projector.


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