# Offering family or friends a free stay in your timeshare and they ghost you on their decision making it challenging to make other plans



## The Colorado Kid (Aug 12, 2022)

Has this happened to anyone else? You offer family or friends a free stay in your timeshare and they agree to let you know by a certain date if they want to go.  That date comes and goes with no response and then when you follow up...you get an "oh we haven't had a chance to discuss it".  Maybe I need to be more firm in setting up the initial understanding that I will be offering to others after this date they agreed upon to let me know?  Often these are vacations within driving distance for them.


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## Luanne (Aug 12, 2022)

I haven't had that happen but I have had an instance where we booked two weeks for our daughter and son in law.  Due to health reasons they couldn't go.  I then offered it to a friend who had recently lost her husband.  She and her sister were thinking of taking a week.  They kept waffling, then decided not to do it.  Third time was a neighbor and her husband.  Shortly before the date they decided to break up, she moved out, and that trip was off.  (They are back together now)  I ended up giving the two weeks back.


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## rickandcindy23 (Aug 12, 2022)

Yes, it's happened to me with our Val Chatelle ski weeks.  Kind of annoying when you offer something without a cost and no answer.


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## klpca (Aug 12, 2022)

Sadly, I have found that the value to others of something that is free - is usually zero. And us owners know that there is an actual cost involved. I am not sure what the solution is, but I feel your pain.

When I need to off load a week I have thought about sharing it with a small group of friends on facebook and seeing who responds first.


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## goaliedave (Aug 12, 2022)

The deadline is the deadline. No answer means no. On to the next person.

One time i invited friends to share a 2BR in Hawaii and they paid part when they said yes, and it was nonrefundable, as normally I would only book a 1BR. I wasn't going to lose the points over their indecision.


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## SteelerGal (Aug 12, 2022)

I offer.  The dates passes and then I will see if I can cancel or rent.


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## The Colorado Kid (Aug 12, 2022)

klpca said:


> Sadly, I have found that the value to others of something that is free - is usually zero. And us owners know that there is an actual cost involved. I am not sure what the solution is, but I feel your pain.
> 
> When I need to off load a week I have thought about sharing it with a small group of friends on facebook and seeing who responds first.


Ohhh I like that approach! FCFS and a bit of FOMO thrown in!


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## slip (Aug 12, 2022)

I have done it a few times and used the Facebook idea late last year. I had a free Kauai week and we were just on Kauai so I offered it on Facebook.  It only took a couple days and an old friend from Wisconsin inquired about it. After I answered a few questions he told me the dates he wanted and I booked it. It worked out great. 

I have more of an issue when we invite friends to go with us. We usually have a 2 bedroom so it's only a big deal about renting a big enough car. It always works on the end but it can be frustrated when you are pitting it together.  It helps to have a backup plan and just go with it with late responses.


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## clifffaith (Aug 12, 2022)

Trying to get people to commit is like herding cats. What we are doing currently, since we have points to burn, is just booking two bedroom units. If they come, fine, if not we have more room. We have a two bedroom in Hawaii in October and several of the people we would offer accommodations to can’t be bothered to visit us in our new home 80 minutes south of the old, so why would I think they can bestir themselves enough to get to Hawaii?


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## ScoopKona (Aug 12, 2022)

The one and only time I tried to do this, I got the same thing. Basically, "We need to wait until fifteen minutes before check in to decide if we can go."

So, I stopped offering. I don't have many "extra weeks." And my "use it or lose it" situations don't exist anymore.


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## MrockStar (Aug 12, 2022)

Iam with Clifffaith on this we book a 2 bedroom and if friends/family cant make it we just enjoy the larger space.


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## AnnaS (Aug 12, 2022)

My two nephews (brothers and at different times) asked me a few times if they could use our points to go to Disney.  When I had extra points and I was able, I offered to one and his family - they were not ready, his brother another time with his family.  He had me book and then he cancelled.  Did not lose points but they can't commit.

Another time one of them wanted to come and asked if we could upgrade from our 1 BDR to a 2BDR and pay us the difference in cash.  This was last minute before our trip.  I told him it did not work that way.  No 2BDR availability then either.  He kept insisting it showed availability on-line.  Well - two different inventories for cash and points.  I had a feeling he did not believe or really understand how it worked.  Too late.

One other time I reserved a 2BDR (The Royal Sands, Cancun) since my brother and family wanted to join us.  He did not commit after I reserved (A little annoyed at that).  I invited my sister, (mom to these nephews mentioned) and she asked me a thousand times what else was included (she has vacationed a few times in All Inclusive places).  Over and over I said just the room.  No food, no flights, etc.   She never came and I ended up with a 2bdr for just two of us.  Waste of my points.  Lesson learned.  I know who to invite moving forward.

I have invited many friends.  Friends and family cannot commit a year prior to vacation.  When I have extra points, I might book an extra studio and wait until a few months before the trip and extend the invitation.  I know I can also cancel the reservation and not lose my points.  One couple at a time.  We have had some great trips.  

My family did commit the one time my daughter got married in Disney three years ago - I booked 5 studios for 5 couples 3-4 nights. 

There are very few people I want to share my points with


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## RunCat (Aug 12, 2022)

I have two brothers. One was married with two kids the other was single.  We tried a number of times to organize family trips over Thanksgiving.   Since my dad and I owned the timeshares, we would make the bookings. Far too often, my brothers would "forget", or show up for 2-3 days out of the 7 days booked.   After a few years of this, we stopped trying.   My dad passed away a few years ago. My wife and I, along with my now adult daughters, still travel over Thanksgiving. I continue to invite my brothers, booking the cheapest thing I can, knowing that they will be there, nominally, for 4-5 days.  (Actually, I don't expect my now divorced brother to show up. )


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## RunCat (Aug 12, 2022)

We have successfully invited friends to travel with us.  Usually, it is asking for an early commitment and then waiting to see if they buy airfare.


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## Tia (Aug 12, 2022)

We no longer own our timeshares. When we did own and we couldn't go I did offer the time at our resort to close family. If someone wanted to use our weeks with the understanding  they'd pay just for the maint. fee or I'd bank the weeks. We had takers several times and it all worked out fine. Once my aunt/uncle went to our ts and bought a ts at the same place, they love it and went many years.

People that don't own timeshares don't understand . We now rent ts vacation weeks at same resort we originally owned from current owners, it's perfect for us. It involves airfare , even before the current airfare increases.  We have a couple people who'd like to join us now when we go, but not sure I'm going to bite that off anymore.


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## BJRSanDiego (Aug 12, 2022)

Yes, I too have had friends and family show an interest and ultimately backed out too late for me to make other plans.

One time I was doing a favor and arranging a Getaway for a friend.  I described the resort, amenities, the week, the non-refundable aspect and the GTW cost.  He said:  "sounds great, go ahead and book it !!!"  I told him that I needed his credit card # to complete the transaction.  The line went silent, then he said:  "I'm going to have to talk to my wife to make sure that she wants to go".  So, the guy was willing to commit my $ (on a non-refundable GTW) but not his own!  

The next day my friend contacted me, gave me the #, and we booked the unit for him.  

I think that this boils down to "skin-in-the-game".  If you have nothing at risk or the cost is zero, you aren't really committed.  But when you have a financial interest (skin-in-the-game) you become committed.


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## clifffaith (Aug 12, 2022)

Of course then there are those who accept free accommodations and then can’t bring themselves to buy a meal. I couldn’t begin to imagine not reciprocating. Cliff’s sister and BIL will never get an invitation again. Hard to fathom two meals out with them and they couldn’t even treat us to pancakes.


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## dioxide45 (Aug 12, 2022)

clifffaith said:


> Of course then there are those who accept free accommodations and then can’t bring themselves to buy a meal. I couldn’t begin to imagine not reciprocating. Cliff’s sister and BIL will never get an invitation again. Hard to fathom two meals out with them and they couldn’t even treat us to pancakes.


This is us now. Outside of direct family (my parents or in-laws) we will no longer invite friends along for a timeshare stay.


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## GregT (Aug 12, 2022)

Agreed — we have been burned by offering accommodations to others, only to get numerous questions or non-committals.   It has drained us of our desire to offer these free weeks, and it’s unfortunate.

Best,

Greg


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## DaveNV (Aug 12, 2022)

I've had friends and relatives ask me if I can find them a deal on a timeshare vacation somewhere.  I've gone so far as to track down something that fits their requirements, time, price point, whatever.  So I tell them I have this or that stay they specifically asked for.  The response is usually, "Ok, thanks for checking.  We'll think about it and let you know." When I push back a bit, explain that timing is important, and they have to decide, I usually get a "Well, then I guess we can't do it. It's too soon to decide."  Ok, then I guess that's that.  Months later, I'll get, "Hey, is that [whatever] stlll available? We decided we'd like to go."  Um, nope.  Long gone. So they're disappointed, and I am now somehow the a$$hole because I can't come up with something for them last minute.  I don't offer anymore.

Even worse: I had a (now former) coworker practically beg me to get her a timeshare rental in Hawaii.  She said she and her husband had never been there, would love to go for their 10th anniversary, it'll be so romantic, yada yada.  I hooked her up with a Tugger I know pretty well, who used to rent out her oceanfront units on Kauai.  They communicated, a deal was struck, reservations made, and I thought all was well. The coworker left the company sometime later, but remained friends with another coworker.

I later asked my Tug friend how my ex-coworker had enjoyed her vacation.  I was told there was big drama, that she and her husband were getting divorced, and they had cancelled things.  This was news to me, but made me feel bad that my Tug friend was put into that position.  I felt a strong sense of accountability for having made the referral. My Tug friend said it was okay, but it wasn't okay with me.

So at work I spoke with the other coworker, who was close friends with the departed "now divorced" ex-coworker.  I asked how she was doing, and if the divorce had been especially difficult, since I knew she and her husband had been so much in love.  It must have been devastating.  The response was classic:  "Divorce?  She isn't divorced.  Where did you hear that?  We're meeting them this weekend, and the four of us are going out to dinner."

So the entire thing had been a big fat lie.  That hurts more than the people who can't commit to going on a trip.  It made me feel twice as bad, because not only did she throw shade on the friendship I have with my Tug friend, but it was a  bold-faced lie to get out of it!  Unconscionable. I absolutely detest dishonest people.

Dave


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## geist1223 (Aug 12, 2022)

We have given away many weeks to family and friends. Our favorite Vet Tech got to go to Fiji for 3 weeks for a Honeymoon. One our favorite House Sitters got WM Kihei for a week for a Honeymoon. When her family found out about the free trip to Hawaii one of her family members had lots of Airline Miles so they got a free flight and then Grandma threw in a $1,000 so they could do things. She was a waitress working her way through college and husband had a min wage job. We sent nephew and his wife to Maui for their 5th Anniversary. They had gotten married on Maui. There are many more examples where things worked out.

We have only had two bad experiences. We arranged a Honeymoon for Niece and husband on the BI. They cancelled when it was too late to get Points back. Never offered them another chance. I offered it up to everyone at work. Co-worker took it for her parents. Which worked out great for them. They had spent a year taking care of Grandmother, who died. They got a wonderful week to decompress and relax after a tough year.

Had 2 friends that really wanted to go to Hawaii with us. We had gone together several years earlier. It was too late to Reserve through Worldmark so I put in a RCI Request. It came through a few weeks later. I immediately called them and gave them the info. I explained we only had 48 hours to accept or say no. If we said yes it was locked in. They said yes. About 5 months later they backed out. Patti and I went without them and had a wonderful time. They were never offered another vacation with us or without us.

With Worldmark's 30 day cancellation policy I always call or email about 35 days before checkin to make sure they are still going.

Several years ago we were visiting Son and DIL in Salt Lake City. They were leaving for Florida to stay at her Grandparents Condo in the AM. We were flying back to Oregon the afternoin the same day. About midnight the stay at Grandparents Condo fell apart. When we got up they were really upset and Son was trying to get an AirBnB with no luck. At 6am PST I went online with WM and got them a week at Daytona Beach and a consecutive week in Orlando. We then drove them to the Airport. Her parents abandoned Grandma and Grandpa and stayed with them at Daytona Beach.


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## VacationForever (Aug 12, 2022)

We invite many people to travel with us and when someone says they got to think about it and get back to us and never did, we just offer it to other people.  If they ever come back with the answer, we basically said we had offered it to someone else.  Most of them are good friends, so it doesn't affect our friendships.  They still travel with us on other dates, but not the ones which they are indecisive on.


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## HitchHiker71 (Aug 12, 2022)

dioxide45 said:


> This is us now. Outside of direct family (my parents or in-laws) we will no longer invite friends along for a timeshare stay.



Fortunately on the few occasions where I have brought friends along - mostly guys weekend trips - I’m not allowed to pay for anything since I have provided free accommodations for everyone. We have not yet tried this with extended family however. Friends are the family you choose - choose wisely. 


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## Iggyearl (Aug 12, 2022)

As a non-owner, occasional renter, and an industry student, I appreciate this thread.  Hats off to the OP.  I wish I had a popcorn maker here.


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## easyrider (Aug 13, 2022)

The Colorado Kid said:


> Has this happened to anyone else? You offer family or friends a free stay in your timeshare and they agree to let you know by a certain date if they want to go.  That date comes and goes with no response and then when you follow up...you get an "oh we haven't had a chance to discuss it".  Maybe I need to be more firm in setting up the initial understanding that I will be offering to others after this date they agreed upon to let me know?  Often these are vacations within driving distance for them.



Yup. I rarely offer anymore. If I'm asked to make plans I will but as far as offering and waiting I'm out. This type of thing happens every year regarding our winter trips where I can't get commitment and the room availability disappears. My thought is they can stay at home and shovel snow, lol.

Bill


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## dsmrp (Aug 13, 2022)

I see I'm in good company with all of you  
I have a group of women friends, none of whom own timeshares. One of my friends has hinted she'd like to be invited, especially to Hawaii, since we go to the hotel branded TSs. But when I asked her and another friend about the Westins in Ka'anapali 10-11 months in advance, neither would commit because it was too far in advance. This would have been with spouses, each couple in a bedroom Other times I offered for other non-Hawsii locations, and it was again too far out for them to plan. But when I asked 3-4 months in advance, they would have some other conflicting engagement. So I don't bother anymore.

I also ask friends to help pay cost of TS, so they have "skin in the game" , and be less likely to cancel less than 60 days from check in.  I have gotten a couple of TS stays for a womens friends getaway. The last one I paid for the 2 bdrm  trading unit, and my friends just paid exchange fee. Other costs were shared equally. So they have gotten good 'deals' , and one friend  usually won't commit if the costs sound too high. But I've done my bit, and not going to subsidize any more getaways.

DH and I don't ask siblings or other family, except DD, on using TS weeks for the reasons everyone else has listed. My nephew stiffed me on an AC exchange & guest cert fees,  last year. So definitely won't be be helping him if he asks.


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## rapmarks (Aug 13, 2022)

I rented six nights in a  timeshare  for my sisters so we could have a nice visit, and  arranged my husbands memorial in the middle.   My niece flew in from Italy to her mothers in New York, they then flew to Chicago to join the other two sisters. They drove up but only stayed one night and went right home. Not only that but I could not enter the timeshare without a mask, and when we went out to eat, we all had to wear a mask in the car and of course eat outside.  They don’t wear a mask when I am not there, I am apparently Typhoid Mary.  Felt bad I had spent the money on six nights to only use one during the busiest tourist season too.


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## beejaybeeohio (Aug 13, 2022)

It amazes me how many people are last minute travel decision makers. We have been fortunate in inviting friends when we book 2 bedroom units since they usually accept. Having them treat us to a nice restaurant meal is "payment" enough for us. If no one joins us, we have room to spare with the extra bedroom and bath!


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## DaveNV (Aug 13, 2022)

beejaybeeohio said:


> It amazes me how many people are last minute travel decision makers. We have been fortunate in inviting friends when we book 2 bedroom units since they usually accept. Having them treat us to a nice restaurant meal is "payment" enough for us. If no one joins us, we have room to spare with the extra bedroom and bath!



My best friend from high school and I have remained lifelong excellent friends - probably closer than brothers.  We've traveled with him and his wife a few times in the past, (a cruise to Alaska, and another cruise to Mexico.)  This year marks our 50th high school reunion celebration, but we've decided not to go, since we don't remember anybody well enough to want to spend the money to see them.  So instead, the two of them are flying here to Nevada from their home in Virginia to visit with us, and the four of us are flying to Hawaii for two weeks, to make our own reunion.  It's shaping up to be a great vacation together.

I had already booked two-bedroom WorldMark timeshares back to back last year for the two weeks (one each on two Hawaiian islands), so things have been paid for long ago.  He insists on paying their fair share of things, so will cover the rental cars on both islands, and take us to dinner a few times. I've told him it wouldn't matter, since we'd still need a rental car if they weren't there, and a two-bedroom wasn't a lot more cost than a one bedroom timeshare.  His reply was, "Maybe so.  But *I'd* know."  This is how it should be done.   

He's a great friend, and I'd travel with him anytime.

Dave


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## NOLA47 (Aug 13, 2022)

I too really enjoyed this thread.  As others insinuated, most think timeshares are free to owners.  Fortunate for us, our daughter and daughter in law realizes that when the cost of accommodations are covered, it’s a major expense covered.  Years ago they took a ziploc bag and placed a designated amount of money to cover food, drinks and incidentals while we were vacationing.   Now they are better prepared to cover costs so that we don’t have to.  They still look at it as a trip that is our treat to them.  But there are some who have the attitude that they should not have to contribute anything. But their children enjoy it so much that we tolerate it.


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## HitchHiker71 (Aug 13, 2022)

beejaybeeohio said:


> It amazes me how many people are last minute travel decision makers. We have been fortunate in inviting friends when we book 2 bedroom units since they usually accept. Having them treat us to a nice restaurant meal is "payment" enough for us. If no one joins us, we have room to spare with the extra bedroom and bath!



I agree - this is the single biggest challenge I have found with our friends as well. As timeshare owners we have learned to prioritize our vacation and leisure time planning above almost anything else - and to plan as far in advance as we can to get what we want. The only time I look for “last minute” inventory is for weekend getaways for just my wife and I via the Wyndham VIP discount window. 

Whenever we attempt to make arrangements with most of our friends beyond a few months out - we typically are told they cannot plan that far in advance. While I recognize that there are some who legitimately cannot plan in advance due to certain unknowns - most of our friends don’t fit into this bucket - it’s simply a choice on their part not to prioritize their leisure time above their work or other priorities. To each his own of course - we don’t judge these different lifestyle priorities - but it also means we typically cannot use our timeshare ownership to plan vacations with most of our friends. It becomes the rare exception as opposed to the rule unfortunately.

I’ve also had friends that judge us for prioritizing our timeshare ownership preferences over their vacation preferences. We’ve been asked to plan vacations in areas where we have timeshare locations and to spend 3-4 times the amount of money we would “spend” were we to use our timeshare in the same location. To date we have chosen not to spend 3-4 times the money for the sake of convenience, often for accommodations that aren’t as nice as the timeshare in the same location, due to last minute planning. Last minute planning typically translates into much higher costs for accommodations, flights, etc. Chance favors the prepared mind IME. 


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## kckaren21 (Aug 13, 2022)

clifffaith said:


> Of course then there are those who accept free accommodations and then can’t bring themselves to buy a meal. I couldn’t begin to imagine not reciprocating. Cliff’s sister and BIL will never get an invitation again. Hard to fathom two meals out with them and they couldn’t even treat us to pancakes.



One friend gave us a $13 bottle of wine, as if that covered his half of a 2br! NOLA47 is right that most ppl seem to think timeshares are free to owners.


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## Luanne (Aug 13, 2022)

We have often shared our timeshare accommodations with others. We have never asked for any reimbursement, but I think in all cases our guests (which have been family) ended up splitting the cost of groceries, hosting us out to dinner, paying for their own rental car, or in some cases if we just had one either splitting the cost or paying it all themselves.


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## dioxide45 (Aug 13, 2022)

Luanne said:


> splitting the cost of groceries


On its own, I don't consider this in any way any kind of reimbursement or cost sharing for the accommodations. I suspect most eat half the groceries as well..


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## silentg (Aug 13, 2022)

The best times we have at timeshares are when just the two of us go. We have traveled with others and have friends or family come and stay a night or two. Our kids rarely travel with us and we have cut down our ownerships in the last few years. Planing a trip next year with my sisters who we have traveled with before. A non timeshare trip. Looking forward to traveling a lot more this fall and next year. I want to say, TUG people are most generous and offering free accommodations to others who don’t seem to appreciate your kindness and patience are truly inspiring. Safe travels!


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## PDX Matthew (Aug 13, 2022)

I have taken my parents on a few vacations, they were not the kind of people who waffle so it was great. I also couldn't use my points one year and was able to send them a gift certificate that they could use for a vacation. I wouldn't offer to people I didn't know would absolutely use it. Nowadays we use everything ourselves every year. We're going to Maui in a couple of weeks.


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## Tank (Aug 13, 2022)

Great thread
I’m not the only one. 

I found that getting a little skin in the game that can’t be reimbursed plans are canceled helps, even with my adult kids. 
It costs $115 to make a reservation, they pay this only, loose this fee if they cancel.
It’s amazing how hard they will try not to loose that $115. And go on the trip.
When it’s free, like 16 nights in Hawaii, was no problem to back out. Now I rented it to someone else but ,,,


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## lockewong (Aug 13, 2022)

I had an abundance of points to burn last year and this year.  I had offered to bring my nephew and his fiancee to Hawaii.  I offered, initially in 2021 and they could not give me a date because the fiancee is a special education teacher and the iffy remote learning, and in-person learning made scheduling tough.  This March 2022, I renewed the offer.  They did not get back to me until the end of April(?)(!).   Much like #dsmrp, I kept emailing him about the dates that were open and needed to purchase a guest certificate.  I was able, good karma, maybe, to get their dates at the Grand Waikikian...which I could never get for myself.  Then, I heard crickets.  Luckily, they did go and in fact, used their stay to add to their wedding website the Hawaii photos.  The fiancee was grateful and very effusive.  They got a 24th-floor room.  I am glad, ultimately, but boy, it took real harassment to get them to give me dates.

I am sorry to hear #rapmarks had graciously reserved a nice timeshare on difficult dates for her sisters and niece and they did not appreciate exactly how special the effort was.  Especially since they were afforded bonding time in a nice location.


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## Luanne (Aug 13, 2022)

dioxide45 said:


> On its own, I don't consider this in any way any kind of reimbursement or cost sharing for the accommodations. I suspect most eat half the groceries as well..


It is a sharing of costs.  I'm sure there are some people who when they are invited to join someone for vacation think that means everything, food included will be provided to them.

As I said we don't ask for, or expect, any reimbursement for the accommodations.


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## ski_sierra (Aug 13, 2022)

dsmrp said:


> I see I'm in good company with all of you



Me too.

Invited friends to come to stay with us at Hyatt in Carmel. They claimed something came up at the last moment and decided not to come.

I have booked exchanges for friends multiple times and told them it's not cancellable. They have asked for cancellation, asking me to call the resort as "everyone is offering flexibility during covid". I had to stay on hold with II for a long time.

Others just want me to keep searching for them. I tell them if they want to travel on a deal, they need to go where there is a deal rather than trying to find a deal for where they want to go. It's a lot of work the other way around. I will show them how to search for a deal, but they need to spend their own time searching.  


Now I refer them to Redweek and TUG rental section and ask to book there. Though not as good as exchanges, it is quite a bit cheaper than booking directly with the resort.


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## Sandy VDH (Aug 13, 2022)

No skin in the game, no sense of urgency.  Then crickets.  

With even my family, having to pay for GCs now more often as wyndham drops from unlimited now to 15, (Note to self get working on moving all deeds to a trust), there has to be some level of committment to play. 

My neices and nephews, and siblings aren't too bad.  A few friends that get it, they periodically ask me for stuff, but some just think it like a hotel with No consequences.  Sorry there is.  So some friends I will search for and help if I can, others I wont even bother. 

I did offer my catsitter a few days away for all her efforts, and after asking her for dates for the better part of a year, they finally gave me dates, but only after I posted a sunset picture from one of the resorts.  So sometime they need to see something to prompt them.  

I did have someone bail on a week in June this year, it was a friend of a friend.  Luckily I had another friend who was happy to rescue it from not being used.  That hasn't happened in a long time, and at least there was a rescue.


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## GregT (Aug 13, 2022)

Has anyone encountered this?  (This one drives me nuts).

I will have an extra week and I will indicate to a close friend or family that I would be happy to book something for them, and then they call me 3 months out and ask for unattainable space (Presidents Week/July 4th in Maui).

It bums me out because I’d like to get something special for them, but people just don’t understand how timeshares work.

Best,

Greg


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## Happytravels (Aug 13, 2022)

Gotta say I needed the popcorn but didn't have any to read this thread.  

I think we have had just about all of these situations.  With our adult kids to close friends. Just last month we let a unit sit empty the whole week.  When RCI used to have their weeks getaway for $99.00 or so we bought a few of these and gave them away.  come to find out they only stayed three days. 

Another was for another family member and we said we would make an exchange for them anywhere in the US.  It took them six months to narrow down a region and another month to pick a resort.  That is when it was weeks for weeks for no trading power played in.  Then after all that it had to have the RIGHT AMMENITIES.  That was one of the most stress transactions I think we ever made.  We stopped giving weeks away to family and friends because they had "no skin in it".  It does play a big factor. 

Most people thing the timeshare is FREE.  Like you just book and we go. 

So now we make whatever reservations we want and IF we have room we might invite someone, but gotta say it's rare now.


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## rpennisi (Aug 13, 2022)

Tia said:


> We no longer own our timeshares. When we did own and we couldn't go I did offer the time at our resort to close family. If someone wanted to use our weeks with the understanding  they'd pay just for the maint. fee or I'd bank the weeks. We had takers several times and it all worked out fine. Once my aunt/uncle went to our ts and bought a ts at the same place, they love it and went many years.
> 
> People that don't own timeshares don't understand . We now rent ts vacation weeks at same resort we originally owned from current owners, it's perfect for us. It involves airfare , even before the current airfare increases.  We have a couple people who'd like to join us now when we go, but not sure I'm going to bite that off anymore.


Have to agree that people who don't own timeshares don't understand.  In my case having a brother and SIL go with us twice to Mexico (Grand Mayan and Grand Bliss) and Florida all in two bedroom units, my brother thought they were free weeks, that I just pushed some keys on the computer and got them for free!


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## DaveNV (Aug 13, 2022)

We took an older friend of ours to Hawaii about fifteen years ago.  She paid her own airfare, but we did the rest - including renting a second unit at one location so she could have her own space.  She paid for nothing - food, drinks, transportation - nothing.  She didn't ask or even offer to chip in.  We turned ourselves inside out, trying to show her a nice time, because she'd never been to Hawaii. She never even said Thank You to us. We felt obligated to show her the things she'd asked to see.

For me, it all came to a head one day when we were leaving to drive around on the island.  We had discussed it, and wanted to show her some cool sites we thought she might enjoy.  As we were getting in the car she asked, "How long is this going to take?"  Excuse me?? Sorry if you find this an inconvenience! I didn't say anything at the time, but I decided right then and there that I was done bending over backwards for her.

On another day she said she was tired and wanted to go back to her room to take a nap.  We cancelled the plans we'd made for the day, and went back to the timeshare so she could rest.  She went into her room, and we went into our room adjacent to hers.  Within about 10 minutes we heard her door slam, and I looked out our window and watched as she sashayed her way down the hallway toward the elevators.  She'd changed her clothes, and looked pretty dressed up.  She staggered back quite drunk several hours later.  Some nap!  She didn't have to lie to us about it.  If she wanted to go out, say something!

We got through the rest of the trip, and flew home.  In all the years since, she has been complimentary to us and about the trip we'd taken, but the sentence usually ends with, "When are we going back to Hawaii?"  We decided if she wants to go back, she needs to go with someone else.  I know I'm not interested in traveling with her any more.

Some people don't travel well with others.  I get that.  But there is also a courtesy owed to those who go out of their way to make something happen for you. Don't lie about it, and then stand there with your hand out, expecting something more.

Dave


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## ScoopKona (Aug 13, 2022)

DaveNV said:


> Some people don't travel well with others.  I get that.  But there is also a courtesy owed to those who go out of their way to make something happen for you. Don't lie about it, and then stand there with your hand out, expecting something more.



It has been our experience that the only people my wife and I enjoy traveling with is each other. Everyone else wants to pack too much, rush too much, insist on expensive hotels with a view (which is never really used), and we have to hold to their timetable, which they think they can change with the snap of their fingers.

They don't want traveling companions. What they want is somewhere between a valet and a sugar-daddy.


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## slip (Aug 13, 2022)

GregT said:


> Has anyone encountered this?  (This one drives me nuts).
> 
> I will have an extra week and I will indicate to a close friend or family that I would be happy to book something for them, and then they call me 3 months out and ask for unattainable space (Presidents Week/July 4th in Maui).
> 
> ...



I have had this happen a few times. Mostly from people who don't travel much. They don't even realize that most hotels are fully booked for that time.


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## pittle (Aug 13, 2022)

Our youngest son and D-I-L had wanted to go to Maui for their honeymoon when they got married, but I could not get reservations with only 6 months lead time. I told them that I could get them a week there for their 2nd Anniversary (booked nearly 2 years in advance).  They said that would be great.  Then 2 months before they were to go, they called and said they could not afford the airline tickets and had heard that Hawaii was really expensive.  So, I bought tickets for hubby & myself, and we went to Maui again.  We had a good time, but decided that we would not offer to get them reservations for just the 2 of them in the future.  

We always get 2-bedroom units when we want to go somewhere and often ask others to join us, if they come, great, if not, their loss.  One of my brothers and his wife join us in November and insist on paying half the MF and generally treat us to one meal out.  We enjoy visiting with them and have fun.  The "kids" get invitations to join us but know they must let me know by January if they want to come so that I can get extra space if necessary.  If they do not come, that is OK, but I do not make an extra reservation until they say that they are coming.  

The friends that we have invited over the years insist on paying their share for everything.  Most do not own timeshares but have attended a presentation at some time and know that we paid up front and again each year. Those are the ones that I will make reservations for an extra week because if they ask, they intend to pay.


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## glider2 (Aug 13, 2022)

The Colorado Kid said:


> Has this happened to anyone else? You offer family or friends a free stay in your timeshare and they agree to let you know by a certain date if they want to go.  That date comes and goes with no response and then when you follow up...you get an "oh we haven't had a chance to discuss it".  Maybe I need to be more firm in setting up the initial understanding that I will be offering to others after this date they agreed upon to let me know?  Often these are vacations within driving distance for them.


Howdy,

Lots of good advice has already been posted. I'd suggest not letting a situation like that develop; keep control of the process in your court the whole time. As you are currently proceding you leave the next move up to them with little recourse for you. Quick fix:

In the invitation politely explain that you hope they will be able to take advantage of the opportunity, but you understand that prior commitments may get in the way.  Tell them that if you haven't heard back by (date of your choice) you will assume that they cannot attend and you will make other plans. Now, you only have to wait until that date and you are no longer bound by your offer. If you really like these folks, you might consider sending a reminder so they get it a week or two before the deadline, but keep the deadline.


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## Dorothy (Aug 13, 2022)

We have a simple rule.  I always try to get a 2 bedroom, then offer the other half to a few select people.  It they make it then fine, if not, we spread out.  
But the rule when traveling with others is " we travel together but separately".  We have our bedroom, you have yours, the rest is community property.  You empty your fridge from home, we empty ours from home, and we shop for what's missing at the timeshare.  And the most important---we have our car and you have your car.   We might set up certain outings/dinners together, but I refuse to be joined at the hip all week long.


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## jpsmit (Aug 13, 2022)

Really appreciate this thread - and glad it isn’t only us. We offered to friends (who admittedly we have had to lie to over the years to get them to show up on time to events - we’d tell them the dinner/party/get together started 45 minutes earlier than it did as they were always 45 minutes late.

Offered a trip this year and crickets. We never heard back, never asked again and never will ask again.

In a separate but related, we have another couple whom we ONLY hear from when they need to stay at our house (we live very close to the airport) not a thank you not a bottle of wine not a Christmas wish but the best of friends when they need to stay.

If the last two and a half years taught us nothing it taught us that there are people who give and people who take and my life is too short for people who only take.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## PrairieGirl (Aug 14, 2022)

OMG!  Apparently I am SOOO fortunate!

We have taken other couples with us on us on at least a half dozen t/s holdiays and not only are they appreciative, they often pay for the rental car and treat us to several meals out. Perhaps the difference is friends vs. relatives, but the one couple ARE cousins.  But really, they are friends first and relatives second.

And I have also traveled at least the same amount of times with my "posse" of girlfriends from high school (and our 50th class reunion is coming up next year).  NO cancellations.  Some understand that there IS a cost to me owning the t/s and chip in to me privately, others don't really understand and don't - but for these trips I DON'T CARE, because I am very fortunate at this stage of my life whereas some of my life long best buddies may not be in my position.  Going on these trips is a way for all of us to be together and have a blast without any financial pressure and I hope we can continue this tradition for many years.

That being said, I would be totally PISSED if I had gone to the effort of getting someone a t/s room and they cancelled on me!!


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## BJRSanDiego (Aug 14, 2022)

clifffaith said:


> Of course then there are those who accept free accommodations and then can’t bring themselves to buy a meal. I couldn’t begin to imagine not reciprocating. Cliff’s sister and BIL will never get an invitation again. Hard to fathom two meals out with them and they couldn’t even treat us to pancakes.


We invited my nephew and wife to join us at our TS on Maui (3 BR unit).  We had an ocean front unit.  They stayed with us, but never did anything in appreciation - - like taking us out for dinner, buying snacks, or anything.  They invited some relatives over one night (who happened to be on-island) and we provided the beverages and snacks.  When they left, and as we were saying good byes, my nephew's wife said:  "before we forget, thanks for inviting us".  I was "underwhelmed" with their thanks.  

Well, I think that was a one-time situation.  We're never going to invite them back.


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## heitmullerj02 (Aug 14, 2022)

Yes, it's frustrating when friends back out. I always buy trip cancel insurance but I'm the one on  the hook for lost transfer fee and insurance, not them.  No fun going alone and they do waffle, one minute its yes, then I get a call oh!, I decided no.  Too late for me on the expense which I do not pass on.  If they are long time friends figure I would have loaned them the $$ if asked, so just write it off. Very frustrating and it has really stopped me from going  on many trips.


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## SmithOp (Aug 14, 2022)

My sister decided to invite herself on our Hawaii vacation, HGVC Lagoon Tower premier unit. I told her only the living room sofa bed was available since our father and my son shared the second bedroom with 2 single beds. She then asked me to make the flight arrangements since she was on credit counseling, no credit card. A month before departure she let me know she was going to get married there also, wanted a beach ceremony. As you can imagine her vacation / honeymoon completely took over our family vacation. My wife even did her hair since she couldn't afford a beauty shop visit.

We went to Costco on the first day and I bought groceries, her and the fiance bought booze only, didn't chip in a nickel for food. The next morning he had the nerve to say I didn't cook enough food, he's 6-5 and claims he eats six eggs and half pound of bacon for breakfast (ok you should have purchased some).

We had to find someone to perform the ceremony and take them to the registrar office. After the ceremony she told our Dad he needed to get them a hotel room, put it on his credit card. At least they were out of our unit the rest of the week.

Never did get a thank you, not even a card. I haven't had much contact with her since, let her husband worry about her, they seem a perfect match of user personalities. She feels justified because they both have minimum wage jobs, no savings and according to her I make big bux and can afford it. I told her I got that good career because I trained and worked hard, while she partied her way through life using people.

By contrast my wife's brother joined us in Hawaii this year, I booked him flights on SWA because I had a lot of points. He paid for all our meals and groceries, sent us a nice thank you card and gift. 

Sent from my Lenovo 10e using Tapatalk


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## Lsfinn (Aug 14, 2022)

The Colorado Kid said:


> Has this happened to anyone else? You offer family or friends a free stay in your timeshare and they agree to let you know by a certain date if they want to go.  That date comes and goes with no response and then when you follow up...you get an "oh we haven't had a chance to discuss it".  Maybe I need to be more firm in setting up the initial understanding that I will be offering to others after this date they agreed upon to let me know?  Often these are vacations within driving distance for them.


Yeah. Happened to me. 

Invited two couples, all three of us mutual friends. All agreed; by all evidence, enthusiastically. One couple provided, as agreed, a range of possible dates, with a preference; one couple didn't. Pinged second set again. Pinged again. Ping again. Eventually the second couple ran-out the clock and the trip never happened. Turned-out they had either changed their mind or were never that interested, but wouldn't say so that the rest of us could move forward. Saying "thanks, no thanks" would have been ok; but, they wanted us to ditch them so they'd be able to "boo hoo, why did you not include us!" 
Friends don't do that to friends. I no longer count them as friends. 

Never had it happen with family. Family is, of course, more complicated.


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## Greatdeal (Aug 14, 2022)

The Colorado Kid said:


> Has this happened to anyone else? You offer family or friends a free stay in your timeshare and they agree to let you know by a certain date if they want to go.  That date comes and goes with no response and then when you follow up...you get an "oh we haven't had a chance to discuss it".  Maybe I need to be more firm in setting up the initial understanding that I will be offering to others after this date they agreed upon to let me know?  Often these are vacations within driving distance for them.


I have had it happen in this timeshare scenario as you and so many times in every avenue in life.    It is the most frustrating pet peeve I experience.   I am a giver and maybe that is why no one has ever offered me something for free.   But since it is very very rare that anyone gives me anything, it is so heartbreaking when one does not respect the "chance" and does not respect the offer.  My last offer included a date to respectfully rsvp and that did not even happen.    Thanks for your post here as it may be noticed by those that receive offers and "ghost" you.


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## Greatdeal (Aug 14, 2022)

dsmrp said:


> I see I'm in good company with all of you
> I have a group of women friends, none of whom own timeshares. One of my friends has hinted she'd like to be invited, especially to Hawaii, since we go to the hotel branded TSs. But when I asked her and another friend about the Westins in Ka'anapali 10-11 months in advance, neither would commit because it was too far in advance. This would have been with spouses, each couple in a bedroom Other times I offered for other non-Hawsii locations, and it was again too far out for them to plan. But when I asked 3-4 months in advance, they would have some other conflicting engagement. So I don't bother anymore.
> 
> I also ask friends to help pay cost of TS, so they have "skin in the game" , and be less likely to cancel less than 60 days from check in.  I have gotten a couple of TS stays for a womens friends getaway. The last one I paid for the 2 bdrm  trading unit, and my friends just paid exchange fee. Other costs were shared equally. So they have gotten good 'deals' , and one friend  usually won't commit if the costs sound too high. But I've done my bit, and not going to subsidize any more getaways.
> ...


I'm sorry you experienced thhis and happy that you are not going to subsidize any more getaways.   It's the most annoying thing in my book to not rsvp properly, but also to never say thank you.    Unsure why it bothers me so much, but it is one of my pet peeves.  Thanks for sharing


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## dsmrp (Aug 14, 2022)

Greatdeal said:


> I'm sorry you experienced thhis and happy that you are not going to subsidize any more getaways.   It's the most annoying thing in my book to not rsvp properly, but also to never say thank you.    Unsure why it bothers me so much, but it is one of my pet peeves.  Thanks for sharing


Thx. I offered to  pick up most of the costs of the last getaway lodging because another of the friends had a very large financial downturn  and couldn't afford to go otherwise. And it would have been awkward to pay for her and ask the others to pay so much more.  The others would likely have covered for the friend with financial problems, but she wouldn't accept it anyway. She is not the one who wouldn't commit to Hawaii because of costs.

We recently came back from a stay with another couple. I asked them way in advance for 1/3 of my cost, which they were good to pay. No surprises there. Got minimal thanks at the end. Nothing wrong with the unit, it was quite nice.


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## Quilter (Aug 14, 2022)

I’m part of the crowd who find this thread interesting.  We’re traveling right now and the situation has me trapped (ummm, confined) in hotel room with little for entertainment or distraction.  I wasn’t finding anything to capture my interest on Marriott forum so I came to the “new posts”.  Success!

We’ve had nice success having friends join us, or take a week for their own. However, commitment to long-term planning seems to always be an issue.
I can totally understand.  I have other Marriott owners asking me if we’d join them for particular getaways.  These are on top of the 3 months I already have scheduled during the winter.  For various life situations it’s  hard for me to commit.

DD and SIL recently asked us to join them at an AirBnb on the Outer Banks. This year it worked for us. Now she’s asking us to join them again next year at a house with a better (in her opinion) location. There’s a bit of anxiety to this but we’re going with the commitment. Oh, and BTW, the other in-laws are also invited. They came on the recent trip too. It’s an interesting mix of personalities.

When we bought our first timeshare week it was difficult for me to wrap my head around planning out a year and even longer.  But I was determined to get value out of our purchase.  Found Tug within months of purchase and that made all the difference.


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## Nowaker (Aug 14, 2022)

clifffaith said:


> Trying to get people to commit is like herding cats.


People can commit only when there's money on the line. Free stuff = no commitment.


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## dougp26364 (Aug 15, 2022)

The Colorado Kid said:


> Has this happened to anyone else? You offer family or friends a free stay in your timeshare and they agree to let you know by a certain date if they want to go.  That date comes and goes with no response and then when you follow up...you get an "oh we haven't had a chance to discuss it".  Maybe I need to be more firm in setting up the initial understanding that I will be offering to others after this date they agreed upon to let me know?  Often these are vacations within driving distance for them.



It’s happened to us more than once. Those that do it without a good reason just don’t get an offer again.

We’ve learned over the years it’s best to just offer the extra room when it would ordinarily be just us, but the resort only offers 2 bedroom units, or we wanted a 3 bedroom unit simply because those units have desirable locations at the resort. Offering up the extra room this way doesn’t really cost us any extra, it’s just wasted space. Still, I make note that they ghosted us and I’ll make the offer to someone else from then on.

Years ago we had planned a family trip that included our daughters MIL. We booked an extra 1 bedroom unit just for her. At the last minute she cancelled. The cost of that one bedroom unit translated to around $500 for that trip at that time. Needless to say we’ve never offered to take her on any family trips since then.


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## SandyPGravel (Aug 15, 2022)

DaveNV said:


> I've had friends and relatives ask me if I can find them a deal on a timeshare vacation somewhere.  I've gone so far as to track down something that fits their requirements, time, price point, whatever.  So I tell them I have this or that stay they specifically asked for.  The response is usually, "Ok, thanks for checking.  We'll think about it and let you know." When I push back a bit, explain that timing is important, and they have to decide, I usually get a "Well, then I guess we can't do it. It's too soon to decide."  Ok, then I guess that's that.  Months later, I'll get, "Hey, is that [whatever] stlll available? We decided we'd like to go."  Um, nope.  Long gone. So they're disappointed, and I am now somehow the a$$hole because I can't come up with something for them last minute.  I don't offer anymore.
> 
> Even worse: I had a (now former) coworker practically beg me to get her a timeshare rental in Hawaii.  She said she and her husband had never been there, would love to go for their 10th anniversary, it'll be so romantic, yada yada.  I hooked her up with a Tugger I know pretty well, who used to rent out her oceanfront units on Kauai.  They communicated, a deal was struck, reservations made, and I thought all was well. The coworker left the company sometime later, but remained friends with another coworker.
> 
> ...


I sure hope you made it known to the horrible former co-worker, through the other former co-worker, that you know what they did.  I would be so livid.  What a piece of work.


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## SandyPGravel (Aug 15, 2022)

DaveNV said:


> My best friend from high school and I have remained lifelong excellent friends - probably closer than brothers.  We've traveled with him and his wife a few times in the past, (a cruise to Alaska, and another cruise to Mexico.)  This year marks our 50th high school reunion celebration, but we've decided not to go, since we don't remember anybody well enough to want to spend the money to see them.  So instead, the two of them are flying here to Nevada from their home in Virginia to visit with us, and the four of us are flying to Hawaii for two weeks, to make our own reunion.  It's shaping up to be a great vacation together.
> 
> I had already booked two-bedroom WorldMark timeshares back to back last year for the two weeks (one each on two Hawaiian islands), so things have been paid for long ago.  He insists on paying their fair share of things, so will cover the rental cars on both islands, and take us to dinner a few times. I've told him it wouldn't matter, since we'd still need a rental car if they weren't there, and a two-bedroom wasn't a lot more cost than a one bedroom timeshare.  His reply was, "Maybe so.  But *I'd* know."  This is how it should be done.
> 
> ...


Traveled with my best friend (we met when we were 7) this spring to our TS in the USVI.  It was great.  I told her she was responsible for her airfare and if she wanted to kick in for the car rental she could but didn't have to because we would be getting the same size vehicle if she was there or not.  She ended up giving me a check for half the jeep rental, buying almost all of the food including going out to dinner at least once.  I kept telling her she didn't need to do that much.  We invite friends along and only ask for one nice dinner out while we are vacationing.  I think this may have been the nicest vacay she's ever been on.  (Her hubby won't hardly leave the state  and definitely will not fly.)  She's never been outside the continental US before.


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## DaveNV (Aug 15, 2022)

SandyPGravel said:


> I sure hope you made it known to the horrible former co-worker, through the other former co-worker, that you know what they did.  I would be so livid.  What a piece of work.



I told the coworker what the ex-coworker had done, and what I thought about it, how it had put me in a bad light with my Tug friend and all.  Apparently that woman was known to lie about things quite often.  The coworker said, "There is a good reason why she no longer works here." I knew what she meant, and I definitely can see a pattern of behavior there.  I think the management may have caught her in something, and invited her to go work elsewhere.  I just don't understand why the coworker remained friends with her.  But as they say, Not my circus, not my monkeys... 

Dave


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## VacationForever (Aug 15, 2022)

We invited a couple, who frequently traveled with us, to Hawaii and they asked what they could pay for. Back when rental car was like $400 for a week, we suggested that they could pick up the tab for a rental car.  They said, sure.  Just before our trip, they said that they wanted their own rental car. So we booked one for ourselves at the last minute.  When we got to the timeshare, we were told that we had to pay to park a 2nd car.  We told our friends that there was a charge for a second parking permit. They said that they would pay us.  End of trip, we paid for the 2nd car park charge.  They picked up one meal tab for us.  We no longer plan our trips around them.


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## Tank (Aug 16, 2022)

SmithOp said:


> My sister decided to invite herself on our Hawaii vacation, HGVC Lagoon Tower premier unit. I told her only the living room sofa bed was available since our father and my son shared the second bedroom with 2 single beds. She then asked me to make the flight arrangements since she was on credit counseling, no credit card. A month before departure she let me know she was going to get married there also, wanted a beach ceremony. As you can imagine her vacation / honeymoon completely took over our family vacation. My wife even did her hair since she couldn't afford a beauty shop visit.
> 
> We went to Costco on the first day and I bought groceries, her and the fiance bought booze only, didn't chip in a nickel for food. The next morning he had the nerve to say I didn't cook enough food, he's 6-5 and claims he eats six eggs and half pound of bacon for breakfast (ok you should have purchased some).
> 
> ...



Holy Crap!
You get the prize ! 

I think I’ll show who ever is talking “vacation” with me this thread, and make them read it first. 
Now let’s talk!


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## Jan M. (Aug 16, 2022)

The comments OP made about family and friends having no skin in the game and also not knowing how timeshares work are spot on.

When I book a separate unit for family and friends or book them a stay without us I set a deadline date that's about a week in advance of the 15 day cancellation window with Wyndham. When it gets to a couple of days before that deadline if they haven't yet committed I give them a reminder. When the deadline hits if I don't have money from them the reservation gets cancelled, Too bad, so sad. Yes, I learned to ask them to pay what the reservation costs us so they have skin in the game. When we invite them to share our unit we don't ask for money.

My sister and BIL have owned at Orange Lake in Orlando for something like 35 years so they and their son and his family have never been been a problem. I love having them come with us or being able to send them places, A few years ago DH told me to stop wasting my time on his family. It makes me feel guilty but at least I know I tried, and tried and tried. Lol.


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## dago (Aug 16, 2022)

SmithOp said:


> She feels justified because they both have minimum wage jobs, no savings and according to her I make big bux and can afford it. I told her I got that good career because I trained and worked hard, while she partied her way through life using people.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my Lenovo 10e using Tapatalk


Pure jealousy - I've heard that line more than once


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## DaveNV (Aug 16, 2022)

dago said:


> Pure jealousy - I've heard that line more than once



The attitude I always got from my older brother, (the no-account drug dealer who was in and out of trouble his entire life,) was: "You were the favorite child.  Our parents spoiled you and gave you things they never gave to me."  Hmm.  Not the way I remember it at all. I went to school, got good grades, and stayed out of trouble.  I started working when I was 14 and never stopped.  I scrimped and saved and worked my tail off. Every single thing I have in my life is something I worked for, because nobody gave me a thing.  He didn't do any of those things, preferring to party and scheme and manipulate his way through life. I never understood what he thinks I got that he didn't, because our parents had virtually nothing, and scraped by most of the time.  They didn't have anything to give, even if they wanted to.

Selective memory, I guess...    

Dave


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## VacationForever (Aug 16, 2022)

@DaveNV, your post kind of reminds me of my brother.  He is brilliant, and is self-taught with many skills, in circuit board design, IT networking and building computers.  He is also very artistically inclined.  He left school at age of 16, started his first business at the age of 18. He has owned his businesses since then. He always makes enough but he is too lazy to want more.  When my sister and I went off to university and my parents paid for our education, he wanted my parents to pay him the amount of money that they had spent on our education.  My father flatly told him that if he had gone to university, he would have gladly paid for it.  My brother then went on to "borrow" from my mother but never repaid her.  It is little things like that which annoys the hell out of my sister and I.  Fortunately, he has never found himself on the wrong side of the law.  He gets by but he could have had so much more.  Whenever my sister and I see him, he would say that we were lucky that our parents put us through university and enjoy a cushy life, unlike him.


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## DaveNV (Aug 16, 2022)

VacationForever said:


> @DaveNV, you post kind of reminds me of my brother.  He is brilliant, and is self-taught with many skills, in circuit board design, IT networking and building computers.  He is also very artistically inclined.  He left school at age of 16, started his first business at the age of 18. He has owned his businesses since then. He always makes enough but he is too lazy to want more.  When my sister and I went off to university and my parents paid for our education, he wanted my parents to pay him the amount of money that they had spent on our education.  My father flatly told him that if he had gone to university, he would have gladly paid for it.  My brother then went on to "borrow" from my mother but never repaid her.  It is little things like that which annoys the hell out of my sister and I.  Fortunately, he has never found himself in the wrong side of the law.  He gets by but he could have had so much more.  Whenever my sister and I see him, he would say that we were lucky that our parents put us through university and enjoy a cushy life, unlike him.



I don't get it either.  And the fact that my brother was several years older than me makes even less sense.  He had moved out by the time I got to high school - where was this supposed favoritism coming from?  I sure never saw it. I remember asking my Mother how I could earn some money so I could buy things other kids had, (nicer clothes, records, a hamburger at the drive in - that sort of thing.)  She said, "Get a job.  I can't afford those things."  So I did.  And the rest, as they say, is history. In my later years, my Mother (and the rest of my siblings, including my older brother), came to me for help, because I was the "successful one" in the family.

In the case of your family, it sounds like your brother definitely has a "me too" attitude.  If he was successful with his businesses, then he shouldn't be looking back at what didn't happen when you were going to school.

Dave


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## Happytravels (Aug 16, 2022)

Just had to come back to this thread to read all the new posts.  

I had forgotten about a friend that we used to take with us all the time.  Single Mom of three!!  Good friend for years, our ts was within couple hour drive and give her a chance to have a vaca close to home.  She was always helpful and appreciative of being able to go to the beach and have a nice place to stay.  She met a guy at work and fell head over heels for him all I kept hearing was he was an ENGINEER...and how he made so much $$ So he started going too like the whole family Mom new husband and three kids!!!  They never offered to pay for the condo or groceries.  Once they made us a meal, it took them fours plus hours to make and my husband and I were starving by then (eating dinner at 8-9 pm is just not us).  It was just my husband and I and they just took OVER the whole condo.  We got our room, but the rest of the place was all them.  They started taking trips to Mexico and told us how wonderful it was.  We NEVER once got an invite.  Our invitations have stopped, and we haven't talked to them in several years now. Every once in a while, I will her from her kids and they will ask me for a week stay somewhere too I guess they really do think they are free. 

Another friend we took to Hawai.  She really wanted to go, and we got a two bedroom, so she could go along.  We would have choice a different resort if she wasn't coming. She never offered to help pay for the condo.  So, I said Hey why don't you pick up the car rental.  She ignored that too.  I told her as soon as we made flight reservations so we could all be on the same flight, but she took her FREE miles and went on a different airline and a different time and had to drive all the way back to the airport to get her.  She finally offered to pay for gas, and I told my husband let her pay for the gas, while out sightseeing one day she offered to buy us lunch.  We said ok that sounds good it was burgers but still who cares she offered we accepted.  SHE COULDN'T FIND HER CC so we paid for that too.  There was never another thing offered to us and we have never invited her again.  

It's shame cause we really do enjoy their company, but we just can't keep paying for their vacations, BTW both of these friends make double or triple what we make but we don't judge.


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## silentg (Aug 16, 2022)

We have gone on so many timeshare vacations, others have said do you ever stay home, or must be nice to go so many places, we always travel thru timeshare or trips we save for in advance. I don’t brag about our trips we are retired and plans are made in advance. We stayed home a lot since the pandemic but are starting to travel again. We invite family and friends along, sometimes the invites are turned down but that s ok. Mostly they want us to visit them . We haven’t been visiting home very much, now that our parents have past. There is so much opportunity to visit new and fun places and that is what we will do, as long as we are healthy! Family are always welcome to visit us too!


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## dioxide45 (Aug 16, 2022)

dago said:


> Pure jealousy - I've heard that line more than once


Reminds me of a few years ago, my parents wanted to take the entire family; my wife and I, both my siblings along with their grandchildren to Orlando for their 50th wedding anniversary. We don't all live close to each other anymore. One sibling still lives with my parents, the other on one side of the country and us now in Florida. It probably would have been one of the last times we were all together as a family at the same time. My parents were going to pay for everyone's stay and theme park tickets along with flights. We would use II getaways to book the stays, probably at least two if not three 2BR units at a Marriott timeshare in Orlando. Then about eight months before the planned trip when my parents were going to start looking at booking something the one brother that is across the country said he didn't want to travel with my other sibling or us. We later found out it was jealousy. Apparently they didn't like seeing the trips my wife and I took that she would occasionally share on Facebook. He also said that his kids didn't like theme parks, though they regularly went to one where they lived. He chose a life and place to live that didn't provide great opportunities for employment, but when growing up he would change jobs every couple of years, buy a new vehicle every couple of years and always bought the newest technology. He bought a truck to drive long haul and that lasted about a year because he always wanted to be home on the weekends. He seemed to think he got a raw deal in life. I don't get it.


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## silentg (Aug 16, 2022)

I hope the rest of you went with your parents.?


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## Patri (Aug 17, 2022)

I’m surprised how many of you let others walk all over you. You want to be the nice people you are, but being a rug gets you no respect. This thread should help many understand you have to be clear from the start. Get the money. Be tough with the potential guests, and feel justified leaving them behind.


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## rapmarks (Aug 17, 2022)

Patri said:


> I’m surprised how many of you let others walk all over you. You want to be the nice people you are, but being a rug gets you no respect. This thread should help many understand you have to be clear from the start. Get the money. Be tough with the potential guests, and feel justified leaving them behind.


Talk about being a doormat, I was not even allowed into the timeshare I rented for my sisters without a mask.


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## Tank (Aug 17, 2022)

Patri said:


> I’m surprised how many of you let others walk all over you. You want to be the nice people you are, but being a rug gets you no respect. This thread should help many understand you have to be clear from the start. Get the money. Be tough with the potential guests, and feel justified leaving them behind.


These are experiences that has hardened us up from what I read. 
I’m not a rug, but I’ll stay nice - thank you!

I see a bunch of “nice” people “trying” to help others, that makes me smile.


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## heathpack (Aug 17, 2022)

Wow, I have a doozy.

My SIL is my brothers widow and my niece is college age.

Last year, I had a bunch of Hyatt points sitting in II and I texted, offering to book them a 1BR unit in a nice but not prime season.  I explained how timeshares work.  I suggested that she could pay my MF, or not.  My brother was a wealthy guy.  SIL has never worked despite having the credentials to be a nurse practitioner.  She inherited enough not to work, but she’d been talking up how expensive college is- she is paying cash for niece’s private undergrad tuition so that niece can get loans for grad school if she chooses.  The talking up of the college expenses was, I’m sure, hinting that we should contribute. We really wouldn’t consider that given the fact that SIL has enough $ to have never worked throughout her entire adulthood (she’s now in her 50s).  But since she’d been hinting around for $, I explicitly told her she could use a week for free if finances were tight.

Anyway, she called me to discuss possibilities.  It was late April and I was in the middle of being ghosted (or so I thought) my some renters for my late May Barony Beach week.  The said they were committing to the week, but I hadn’t gotten any reply to any attempts to contact them since they’d received the contract, and we were 48hr from the payment due date.  I mentioned this to SIL and she was suddenly interested in Hilton Head.

I explained to her why I couldn’t get her a 2BR summer Hilton Head week but she could use the Barony week since I hadn’t heard back from the renters.  She talks to niece and they’re very excited.  She’s going to invite a friend.

Forty eight hours later, I get a FedEx delivery and it’s the signed rental contract and check from my renters.  I guess they weren’t ghosting me after all.

Oh vey, now I have to tell SIL that I can’t let her use the week!  Huge drama.  Droning on and on about how disappointed the niece is.  I actually find her the same exact week at another Marriott Hilton Head resort that a TUGger is renting and I tell her I’ll rent it for her with the proceeds from the Barony week.  She is upset that I put strangers ahead of family (my renters who had verbally committed) for MONEY.  I encourage her to take the replacement week that I found for her.  Then she reveals that nieces friend can’t make it that week, they actually want the week after.  Which is Memorial Day week.  I explain that I can’t get that week.  Then she says they’d actually prefer a week in June.  Oy vey. I explain that these are hard to come by, but I’ll look for a last minute cancellation.

Every morning for weeks, I do an II search, looking for a last minute cancellation.  Then I’m talking to my Mom and she casually mentions that SIL & niece are just back from Hilton Head.  WTF?  I text SIL and tell her I’d been searching daily as promised and she never bothered to tell me she didn’t need the week after all?!

She then lamblasts me- *I* brought up Hilton Head, which got niece heart set on going there with a friend and now they had to pay top dollar to get multiple hotel rooms in the summer because mama knew how disappointed daughter was.  Mind you, in the end, they couldn’t even use the week I had and wanted a different week, but it was my fault that they *had* to go to Hilton Head.  Then more lamblasting that all I really wanted was for them to pay the MF on weeks I couldn’t use and how shitty is that, given the fact when my brother was alive, we used to visit them (at their home) and they never considered charging us for that!  (Yes, they visited us too, but were older and wealthier and mostly took fab vacations rather than visiting relatives).

Thankfully the original offer that I made them was via text, so I could copy and paste and show her written proof that told her I didn’t care about the $.  None of that mattered though- she is a crazy entitled person, plain and simple.  It was the last straw for me, we never had the closest relationship after my brother passed away, but now I am done with her.  

So- yet another tale of how offering a free week to someone is not necessarily received and used in the manner in which we’d hope!


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## geist1223 (Aug 17, 2022)

No one can be walked on unless they allow it.


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## beejaybeeohio (Aug 17, 2022)

geist1223 said:


> No one can be walked on unless they allow it.



As the saying goes:
Fool me once shame on you.
Fool me twice shame on me.
Fool me three times shame on us both!

Hard to know in advance if you are being a doormat by trying to be a helper. Seems that Tuggers who've been burned once know to stay out of the fire next time around!


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## GTLINZ (Aug 17, 2022)

What an interesting thread.

I think most timeshare owners who actually use/leverage their timeshare/points have to be savvy by nature. When you want to share your experience with others, they don't often have our "frame of reference". 

We had friends who would travel with us often and our experiences were so amazing. They helped financially at my cost and they were so appreciative of what we could book for the $.  She passed away suddenly and it was hard - but we have great memories. 

We have also invited family and it has been mostly great. More recently we cannot get them to commit and I believe it is tied to job changes and life changes.

We have also invited friends and it has been a mixed bag.

We have decided it is better to keep most vacations for us as we need the break from everyday pressures and to be just us. We do invite guests or family sometimes with no strings but we now know to set a quick answer deadline. I had to adjust to the idea of an empty bedroom - but I eventually could.

So I can relate to much of what has been shared in this thread.


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## Happytravels (Aug 18, 2022)

We wanted them to experience what we LOVE.  Condo vacationing, cheaper and so much more room, around fabulous places. After giving a week to my SIL and BIL they said it really wasn't for them as they had to clean up after themselves and there was no room service!


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## DancingWaters (Aug 20, 2022)

We have shared a free week with others.  We sit down together to look at options. They can’t find a location they like, or a timeshare they like. By this point we have already put a good chunk of time into it.  We did a sibling vacation once and we never saw them. They never discussed what they were doing, nor were we ever invited along, they just disappeared all 3 siblings and their spouses just scattered on their own.   Our own kids who we take yearly somewhere during Covid had some bail, but that was understandable.


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## Luanne (Aug 20, 2022)

rapmarks said:


> Talk about being a doormat, I was not even allowed into the timeshare I rented for my sisters without a mask.


I'm not sure why this is so shocking.


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## rapmarks (Aug 20, 2022)

Luanne said:


> I'm not sure why this is so shocking.


three sisters, one husband, niece that flew in from Italy, one brother in law not there because he had covid, all unmasked around each other but worried in August 2022 about me giving them covid.  I think it is shocking and what makes it more shocking is I originally rented a two bedroom and two of them were going to stay with me.  My son didn't have a mask and he was not allowed inside at all.  I guess i think it is shocking that they can all feel safe with each other, even though three of them just flew in, but not safe around me.  and then they went back to Illinois and all gathered together with the brother in law that had tested positive for covid a few days before. I definitely do not feel like a member of the family.


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## DaveNV (Aug 20, 2022)

rapmarks said:


> I definitely do not feel like a member of the family.



The part I still don't understand is why you did all this for them, but you got so little in return.  I'd hope the lesson is well-learned, and you won't be so generous in the future.

Dave


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## Luanne (Aug 20, 2022)

rapmarks said:


> three sisters, one husband, niece that flew in from Italy, one brother in law not there because he had covid, all unmasked around each other but worried in August 2022 about me giving them covid.  I think it is shocking and what makes it more shocking is I originally rented a two bedroom and two of them were going to stay with me.  My son didn't have a mask and he was not allowed inside at all.  I guess i think it is shocking that they can all feel safe with each other, even though three of them just flew in, but not safe around me.  and then they went back to Illinois and all gathered together with the brother in law that had tested positive for covid a few days before. I definitely do not feel like a member of the family.


With that full explanation I can understand your feelings.


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## rapmarks (Aug 20, 2022)

DaveNV said:


> The part I still don't understand is why you did all this for them, but you got so little in return.  I'd hope the lesson is well-learned, and you won't be so generous in the future.
> 
> Dave


Dave I did it so they could attend the memorial for my husband   I thought they would stay and visit for a few days but they left first thing in the morning


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## DaveNV (Aug 20, 2022)

rapmarks said:


> Dave I did it so they could attend the memorial for my husband   I thought they would stay and visit for a few days but they left first thing in the morning



Thanks.  And I guess that's why I'm so frustrated for you.  As the widow, you'd think you'd get more visitation than that, especially since you paid for the accommodations.  So unfair. And the mask thing is doubly strange - how were you riskier than they were?  I went to NYC in June, double vaxxed and double boosted.  I was careful and masked up everywhere, but I still came back with Covid.  What sort of pariah did they think you were?   SMDH

Dave


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## rapmarks (Aug 20, 2022)

DaveNV said:


> Thanks.  And I guess that's why I'm so frustrated for you.  As the widow, you'd think you'd get more visitation than that, especially since you paid for the accommodations.  So unfair. And the mask thing is doubly strange - how were you riskier than they were?  I went to NYC in June, double vaxxed and double boosted.  I was careful and masked up everywhere, but I still came back with Covid.  What sort of pariah did they think you were?   SMDH
> 
> Dave


Yes and my social calendar is blank too


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## GTLINZ (Aug 22, 2022)

Happytravels said:


> We wanted them to experience what we LOVE.  Condo vacationing, cheaper and so much more room, around fabulous places. After giving a week to my SIL and BIL they said it really wasn't for them as they had to clean up after themselves and there was no room service!



It is funny you say that. I think most TS'er are comfortable taking care of themselves. I prefer to take my own bags to the room, and to be able to fix my own meals (mostly breakfast and lunch which is easy, eat out for dinner or the onsite restaurant is good at some places).

I have learned to filter out bad reviews of nice timeshare were somebody was insulted their hotel points status did not buy them anything,  I also filter out the bad reviews when they don't get the level of service you get in a nice hotel.

And you are spot on - we have loved using my timeshares and we have taken more trips than we ever would have without them.


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## Limace (Aug 22, 2022)

I love inviting family to join us on our DVC trips and we just had our first “try and get two units next to each other” trip with my SIL and BIL at the local small independent timeshare that we both own. It’s gone beautifully every time. Partly because when I invite my adult daughter and her boyfriend to join us at Disney she fully understands the level of planning it takes and is all in because she loves it and could never afford to go otherwise. This next trip, I added a couple days in a studio at Grand Californian so my mom and sister could join my immediate family-we have a two bedroom booked for the kids and us. We could technically have fit them in with us but that’s way too close quarters with my sister who can be really high maintenance. I’m clear that they can’t cancel last minute. With my in laws at Eagle Crest-they know the drill and it’s their own unit. 

So it had worked well for us so far and it’s really what I live about time shares-extra space so we can be with family, kids can invite friends, etc. I also get how people who don’t use timeshares don’t understand the timelines, issues with cancellation, etc. My guess is many folks think of it like they might a suggestion to go to a destination and rent hotel rooms-sure, that sounds interesting-not getting that you can’t cancel. And to be fair, with an adult daughter, and one of my other kids now I’m varsity HS sports-I have a really hard time committing myself to things other people are planning. 


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