# Cost sharing with invited guests/friends



## okwiater (Oct 15, 2015)

Curious about everyone's thoughts on the etiquette regarding cost sharing when you invite friends or other guests to share your timeshare week. DW and I have always considered our timeshares to be more or less a "vacation home," and we would never dream of asking friends to split costs of utilities or upkeep to invite them. Frequently they will offer to pick up the tab on a nice dinner or pitch in some extra dough at the grocery or liquor store, but beyond that we just enjoy having them along. Does anybody have other perspectives on this?


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## Tank (Oct 15, 2015)

shouldn't have to ask, done it many times with friends. They all paid for something thru-out the trip as appreciation on there own and that was nice. 
 I have had none of them ask about renting one on there own.

could start off by hey I'm looking at going such and such place this time of year, anybody interested in going and share the cost?

If you like company and you can afford the trip, you are better off inviting to come along, splitting you will probably go alone.


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## Markus (Oct 15, 2015)

The folks that I have been away with often realize the value that is being given to them. After all these are very luxurious resorts and they may not head there on their own. I have had friends pick up the cost of the rental cars in the past, and they were more than happy to do so. I think that this is fair, when you look at the MFs and the initial capital costs of acquiring the weeks.

Mark


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## NNerland (Oct 15, 2015)

We are taking 4 couples to St John with us this January.   We used our 3 bedroom at 12 months and got a 2 bedroom loft at 8 months.   We also took these 4 couples to Cancun two years ago.

When we went to Cancun the options were so cheap in January when we went most just bought us dinner and when we returned home they gave us a $400 Gift Certificate for a really nice resort weekend getaway that we used for our anniversary.

When we organized this trip they all said they would pay for their share.  So we simply added up the "Options" cost and divided by 5 -- worked out to $900/couple for lodging for 1 week in St John.  As I explained, if they were to try and go on their own to St John a 3bd at Retail would be about $900/night and Studios/Hotel Rooms are around $500/night at the least.

All very happy to share -- we bring it up and the conversation is pretty easy.  Not many people just expect a free vacation and when you share in "your" cost of dues it is very cheap and a very nice experience.  Much different than a vacation home or real property.  You are really just "renting" a week even if you have some "title"

This is one of the reasons we bought - to share with others and have the opportunity to take vacations we could otherwise not afford often.


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## dsexton (Oct 15, 2015)

*It Depends*



okwiater said:


> Curious about everyone's thoughts on the etiquette regarding cost sharing when you invite friends or other guests to share your timeshare week. DW and I have always considered our timeshares to be more or less a "vacation home," and we would never dream of asking friends to split costs of utilities or upkeep to invite them. Frequently they will offer to pick up the tab on a nice dinner or pitch in some extra dough at the grocery or liquor store, but beyond that we just enjoy having them along. Does anybody have other perspectives on this?



For my regular weeks that I'm paying Maintenance fees on, I usually take the total I pay in MF plus the cost to exchange and divide by total number of people staying.  For bonus weeks and XYZ's that only cost me the exchange fee, I don't charge them anything.


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## geekette (Oct 15, 2015)

The key is setting expectations.  If you have no need to reimbursement, just say so upfront and let them treat on whatever.  If you do require *something*, whether it be cost splitting or kick in ("what if you pay the rental car?" or "just take us out to dinner and we'll be square", "cost per person will be $x") just be sure to have whatever conversations during the planning stage so nothing gets awkward and no bad assumptions linger.


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## LisaRex (Oct 15, 2015)

I never ask or expect anything.   The two couples we travel with the most insist on paying for something.  One writes me a check for $1000 + more than his fair share of the rental car no matter where we go.  We split groceries.

My cousin pays for all groceries, dinner out, and the rental car. 

I invited another couple back in '06 to travel to Maui with us, before we bought at WKORV.  We split the cost of our condo 50/50, but got them 2 FREE tickets to Hawaii via our SkyMiles (we could have gotten 2 FC tickets, but instead got 4 economy tickets), plus one night in an OF room at the Hilton Hawaiian Village paid with 70,000(!) of our HHonors points.  They never even treated us to dinner, and in fact argued over $10 that she claimed that she'd paid directly to the hotel even though it appeared on my folio.  That $10 turned out to be quite expensive for them because we've never asked them again. I certainly don't expect to make a profit on sharing my vacation home with someone, but I expect a certain amount of appreciation in return.


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## SandyPGravel (Oct 15, 2015)

We figure we would have to pay the MF if no one went with us and vacationing with others is more fun.  We specifically bought a larger unit so we can invite others along.  If they want to give us something toward the MF that is fine, but not expected.  If they ask I suggest they can take us out for a nice dinner.  If we don't want company on vacation, we get a smaller unit and stay longer or take multiple vacations.


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## Passepartout (Oct 15, 2015)

This has been discussed ad nauseam. If we have expectations of sharing costs, we better say so upfront. If not clear, we better be satisfied with the result. Our experience: Friends share costs, either directly or 'in kind'. Family members treat invitations as entitlement. Result: Friends get invited again. Deadbeats don't.

Jim


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## taterhed (Oct 15, 2015)

LisaRex said:


> I never ask or expect anything. The two couples we travel with the most insist on paying for something. One writes me a check for $1000 + more than his fair share of the rental car no matter where we go. We split groceries.
> 
> My cousin pays for all groceries, dinner out, and the rental car.
> 
> I invited another couple back in '06 to travel to Maui with us, before we bought at WKORV. We split the cost of our condo 50/50, but got them 2 FREE tickets to Hawaii via our SkyMiles (we could have gotten 2 FC tickets, but instead got 4 economy tickets), plus one night in an OF room at the Hilton Hawaiian Village paid with 70,000(!) of our HHonors points. They never even treated us to dinner, and in fact argued over $10 that she claimed that she'd paid directly to the hotel even though it appeared on my folio. That $10 turned out to be quite expensive for them because we've never asked them again. I certainly don't expect to make a profit on sharing my vacation home with someone, but I expect a certain amount of appreciation in return.



meh...  you just can't make some people happy.

 I love it when I hear people complain about the free drinks and snacks at the happy-hour receptions as well.  "You're in paradise drinking a free beer and eating free snacks and you're complaining?  Really?"


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## SandyPGravel (Oct 15, 2015)

Passepartout said:


> This has been discussed ad nauseam. If we have expectations of sharing costs, we better say so upfront. If not clear, we better be satisfied with the result. Our experience: Friends share costs, either directly or 'in kind'. Family members treat invitations as entitlement. Result: Friends get invited again. Deadbeats don't.
> 
> Jim



Some of us are new and haven't been in the discussion.  I myself appreciate others sharing what their experience has been.  

Thank you to those who shared.


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## DeniseM (Oct 15, 2015)

Here are some good threads on this topic:

http://www.tugbbs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=215082&highlight=splitting+cost+friends

http://www.tugbbs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=212784&highlight=splitting+cost+friends

http://www.tugbbs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=121269&highlight=splitting+cost+friends


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## taterhed (Oct 15, 2015)

I do like the technique that was discussed (somewhere) in the previous forums: (especially for the first-time guest)

Show them the website with the rental/per night listings or VRBO listings etc.....$$$$ Wait for their mouth to hit the floor... then explain what you think is fair (rental car or share of MF's etc...) I truly do not think that people realize what a nice unit costs to rent in Hawaii/HHI/Scottsdale etc... I also think it helps them feel good about sharing a small portion of the cost that some people are paying to rent.

And, as I've mentioned to my DW: please don't tell people we have a TS and it's 'FREE' why don't you join us? She has a very big heart and I love her dearly 

. I just pull up the MF bills and remind her that 'free' and 'paid-for' are two very different things.

 To clarify: we usually ask if they'll get the rental car or some groceries or beverages etc... but if it was 2 or 3 units for a group or family reunion etc... we would plan on sharing rental/exchange fees.


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## geekette (Oct 15, 2015)

taterhed said:


> I do like the technique that was discussed (somewhere) in the previous forums: (especially for the first-time guest)
> 
> Show them the website with the rental/per night listings or VRBO listings etc.....$$$$ Wait for their mouth to hit the floor... then explain what you think is fair (rental car or share of MF's etc...)  I truly do not think that people realize what a nice unit costs to rent in Hawaii/HHI/Scottsdale etc... I also think it helps them feel good about sharing a small portion of the cost that some people are paying to rent.
> 
> ...


Fabulous.  I sometimes do a "compare to ..." for rentals but hadn't done that with friends/family.  It's a great idea when you are expecting some cost sharing.  

For sure, "free" is not the same as "Paid For", and I think most people understand this, even if they have 0 timeshare clue.


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## DAman (Oct 15, 2015)

The problem I have found is that people that don't pay a share of the costs tend to cancel/not show up more often than those who pay a share of the costs.  

When friends want their own unit I think it is reasonable for them to pay your costs.

This is a tricky subject which is why when it is discussed I look carefully.


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## vacationhopeful (Oct 15, 2015)

I usually invite family ... different rules apply for the "situation'.

Grief stricken sister - free; she buys alcohol.

12 yo nephew - free plus I feed him.

My birthday party week - I pay for roof; they treat me like b-day girl (for the week). Every 5 year party .... I decide where, too. (Ft Lauderdale, Hawaii .... need to start planning for next one in 18 months).

Spring Training Week - again, I pay for the roof; they pay for everything else. They LOVE MLB baseball. I hate any form of baseball ... yes, they are bribing me, but who else can get really nice condos which are FREE to them.

Friends ... most have NO INTEREST of vacationing in a timeshare unit. And I am happy to leave it at that.


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## taterhed (Oct 15, 2015)

vacationhopeful said:


> I usually invite family ... different rules apply for the "situation'.
> 
> Grief stricken sister - free; she buys alcohol.
> 
> ...



I think I like your system. "It's my party and I'll stay where I want to..."


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## bnoble (Oct 15, 2015)

okwiater said:


> Curious about everyone's thoughts on the etiquette regarding cost sharing when you invite friends or other guests to share your timeshare week. DW and I have always considered our timeshares to be more or less a "vacation home," and we would never dream of asking friends to split costs of utilities or upkeep to invite them. Frequently they will offer to pick up the tab on a nice dinner or pitch in some extra dough at the grocery or liquor store, but beyond that we just enjoy having them along. Does anybody have other perspectives on this?



We do the same thing you do. An invitation is an invitation, not a business transaction. Most guests do bring a nice bottle of wine or take us out to dinner once, which is more than gracious.


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## lizap (Oct 15, 2015)

We never expect our guests to pay anything.  They usually offer to take us out to dinner once during their stay, but we do not have this expectation.


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## SMHarman (Oct 15, 2015)

The friends we usually timeshare with have been to the sales pitch and understand the mf cost. 
I usually get the question what were the MF on the points for this trip and they divide that down the middle. 

As others have said, compared to the cost of direct booking Or rental it makes a cheap weeks vacation somewhere very nice. 

They are also disinclined to vacation so we are their 'forced vacation'  

Sent from my LT26i using Tapatalk


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## Eagle7304 (Oct 16, 2015)

When we invite friends & family to Maui, it is our choice. We do not expect anything other than their company. We only invite people we enjoy spending time with and love making wonderful memories. We love Maui and enjoy showing people places that we like going to. We bought a two room timeshare so that we could bring friends and make a point of letting people know it is our treat. We know that there is a huge cost to get to Maui and we want friends to have a great experience without worrying about the cost of the room. We've had friends treat us to a nice dinner and one couple gave us a check that covered half the MF.


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## cubigbird (Oct 16, 2015)

We have invited friends and family to use the other bedroom portion of our 2 bd room lockoffs at WLR and WKV.  We have not asked for any compensation other than them giving a credit card for their room # so they can use the swim up bar (WLR) or other on-site activites if they choose to.  We have been willing to provide the week stay for free but not an unlimited pass for charging expenses at the resort.


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## klpca (Oct 16, 2015)

DAman said:


> The problem I have found is that people that don't pay a share of the costs tend to cancel/not show up more often than those who pay a share of the costs.



This. Folks need to have a vested interest. With some people the perceived value of a free trip is zero. 

I think that you only get burned this way once.

I suppose that I should clarify. The only time that I have been burned is by family members who have bailed out along the way. Actually this has happened to us more than once, I am ashamed to say (only because I keep asking them to go along). It gets tiresome - the last time was late this summer when I booked a location that I would have not otherwise booked, but the other party was dying to see it. So I booked a week in RCI - 20 TPU's plus the exchange fee. Roughly about $750 in cost. Lo and behold, a better trip came along and I was told that they changed their minds. I was able to cancel and get most of my TPU's back but of course, not the exchange fee. I swear, this is the last time!  I'm never inviting them to travel with us again.


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## alexadeparis (Oct 16, 2015)

It depends on who it is.

There is a couple we travel with to Vegas who also own a timeshare. They understand there is a cost with timeshares, since they have their own, so they offer to pay for our tickets to shows (as a foursome we usually do 2 or 3 shows in a week) which usually exceeds $500. This is fair enough to me and then we split dinners down the middle, and pay our own way for any daytime excursions.

I have taken family in the past (middle aged adults) who completely abused the privilege and were even borderline ungrateful. The last straw was when the parents (of a family of 4) took their luggage into the second bedroom and immediately threw the second queen sized mattress from the bedroom for their teenage kids to sleep on in THE LIVING ROOM. So I had to deal with their kids taking over the living area and we couldn't really use it as a living room, it was like an open bedroom and there was no where to walk. Really trashy of them in my opinion. They were my husbands relations and he asked me not to make a big deal out of it. The parents haven't been invited back. PS I paid for everything and I mean everything on that trip. So that was the end of Mrs. Nice guy. I would never take people older than my age, friend or family, without clear expectations. I am not asking for much, a few dinners or excursions would be appreciated since I am housing you for a week in paradise. 

Their son has come with on vacations since then (he is now 25+) and my child (21) and her friends or boyfriend come frequently too. Since they are all adults and they all work I insist they have a stake in it. They pay their own airfare and I ask that they each pay for one dinner for everyone and I pick up the rest for the week (usually the most expensive ones, naturally). I pay for the excursions I plan but any extra stuff like drinking in the evenings, or windsurfing, tours or whatever else they want to do on their own without the old folks, they pay. It's still a good deal for them because they get free room and board basically. They couldn't afford to go without me, so they love it. They want to know where we're going to go next when we are at the airport flying home.


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## Helios (Oct 17, 2015)

alexadeparis said:


> It depends on who it is.
> 
> There is a couple we travel with to Vegas who also own a timeshare. They understand there is a cost with timeshares, since they have their own, so they offer to pay for our tickets to shows (as a foursome we usually do 2 or 3 shows in a week) which usually exceeds $500. This is fair enough to me and then we split dinners down the middle, and pay our own way for any daytime excursions.
> 
> ...


 
This is close to my experience as well, as it relates to family members from my wife side...


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## Helios (Oct 17, 2015)

*Expectations when traveling with friends - tweens and teenager*

Does anybody have experience with this as it relates to costs?

Do you straight out ask what costs they should cover right after the invitation?  I think this would be necessary to avoid misunderstandings.  But, I am worried it may be seems like a bad taste move right after you extend an invitation to take their kid to a vacation (which could be seen as a way to keep your own kid entertained).

I think it makes a difference if you consider that the families can easily afford the cost.


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## SmithOp (Oct 17, 2015)

I think it should be obvious by every day dealings with friends and family before the trip.  Do they pick up checks, do they host dinners and parties?

I have a family member that comes to Thanksgiving dinner with two cans of corn, cant even be bothered to put it in a serving dish, first in line to take leftovers home too.  That one will never get an invite.

Its easy to sort the givers from the takers imo.


Sent from my iPad Mini 4 using Tapatalk


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## rapmarks (Oct 17, 2015)

you want to talk about ungrateful!!!
first I rented a timeshare near my home for my daughter and her family and she wanted to bring the inlaws.  The inlaws never paid for a thing, out to dinner, or big meals at my home, all the attractions in the city.  I asked them to pick something up one day and had to give them the cash to do it.
Then, they came with my daughter and her children (age two months, 3, and 5) for two weeks in Florida.  One week at my house where I had to meet many special food requests and one week In Orlando where I paid for the timeshare  I never got reimbursed for their airline tickets or the rental car.. While at my house, they wanted to go out for dinner for her birthday, when the bill came he objected and told the waiter to give us a separate bill, they were not paying for ours.   Then on to Orlando, where I didn't supply the variety of food.  Each day they all went to Disney and I watched the infant.  i never left the resort.  At this time, I discovered that they had purchased all kinds of treats, and kept them in their room so they wouldn't have to share with us.  On the final day, we headed for home and they went to Universal.  My daughter never got to go on one ride because of the baby, no one would take a turn sitting out with the baby. They never thanked me, but did thank the lord many times for giving them all this.


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## alexadeparis (Oct 17, 2015)

rapmarks said:


> you want to talk about ungrateful!!!
> first I rented a timeshare near my home for my daughter and her family and she wanted to bring the inlaws.  The inlaws never paid for a thing, out to dinner, or big meals at my home, all the attractions in the city.  I asked them to pick something up one day and had to give them the cash to do it.
> Then, they came with my daughter and her children (age two months, 3, and 5) for two weeks in Florida.  One week at my house where I had to meet many special food requests and one week In Orlando where I paid for the timeshare  I never got reimbursed for their airline tickets or the rental car.. While at my house, they wanted to go out for dinner for her birthday, when the bill came he objected and told the waiter to give us a separate bill, they were not paying for ours.   Then on to Orlando, where I didn't supply the variety of food.  Each day they all went to Disney and I watched the infant.  i never left the resort.  At this time, I discovered that they had purchased all kinds of treats, and kept them in their room so they wouldn't have to share with us.  On the final day, we headed for home and they went to Universal.  My daughter never got to go on one ride because of the baby, no one would take a turn sitting out with the baby. They never thanked me, but did thank the lord many times for giving them all this.



WOW!  and I thought my experience was bad. The couple I dealt with left their kids with us a couple times so they could go out to dinner without us (yet never offered to buy us dinner for giving them a free vacation), but the kids actually didn't mind, since they like us better than their parents. But I have to say, you win the "Asshole Relations" prize! I sure hope that their rudeness, cheapness and ignorance didn't get passed down to your grandchildren!


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## alexadeparis (Oct 17, 2015)

moto x said:


> Does anybody have experience with this as it relates to costs?
> 
> Do you straight out ask what costs they should cover right after the invitation?  I think this would be necessary to avoid misunderstandings.  But, I am worried it may be seems like a bad taste move right after you extend an invitation to take their kid to a vacation (which could be seen as a way to keep your own kid entertained).
> 
> I think it makes a difference if you consider that the families can easily afford the cost.



Yes. i took my daughter and two of her friends to Disney world for her golden birthday. I asked that the parents pay the airfare. I told them I would pay everything else (park tix, food). I told them to give their kids some souvenir money. This conversation was contemporaneous with the invite about 6 months in advance.


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## PamMo (Oct 17, 2015)

I think one of the major perks of owning timeshares is having the extra space for family and friends to join us on vacations! We feel very blessed that we can do it, and have had mostly wonderful experiences. As others have noted, the key is managing expectations (your own as well as your guests).


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## psfcfa (Oct 17, 2015)

Wow, I am impressed with how generous you all are!  We own, in effect, 3 units annually at WKORV.  If friends or family want to rent, it's $1400/week for a studio and $2100/week for a 1 br...and if they want to be out there at the same time as us (whale season), fine.  But we've never done freebies...and have rented a unit every year since 2007, with bookings going forward to 2020.  If ever we don't rent a unit, we'll just stay for 3 glorious weeks!  What we won't do is rent to strangers...

It's worked just fine for everyone...and everyone knows it's paid in advance with no guarantee of refunds.  We've had no problems with cancellations!


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## lorenmd (Oct 17, 2015)

yes, i agree, it all needs to be in advance.  last year i lucked out and snagged three two bedrooms at WKORV.  i threw it out to my friends who ever wanted to go what it would cost for the studios vs the one bedroom.  those  jumped on paid what would have been my maintenance fee for my trades.  we did something really fun for dinners.  i handled it all, presented the various menus charged $10/person which included all drinks,  often fillet mignon, potatoes, salad,  all fabulous foods.  then they  threw their money in the pot and tipped as they wished.  the poorest tipped the best and the wealthy ones the worst.  go figure.  but it worked out very well with 15 people. 6 of them young adults who i gave their own car and surfboards.  going out dinner would have been a pain


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## Helios (Oct 17, 2015)

alexadeparis said:


> Yes. i took my daughter and two of her friends to Disney world for her golden birthday. I asked that the parents pay the airfare. I told them I would pay everything else (park tix, food). I told them to give their kids some souvenir money. This conversation was contemporaneous with the invite about 6 months in advance.



Just wondering, did the parents offer to give you extra money?  Your offer was very generous.  Personally, I would have offered to give you a check to cover all my kid's expenses and show you my appreciation for the invite.  Your offer's value was several hundred dollars not including the room.

I wish your kids were my kids friends...


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## Helios (Oct 17, 2015)

I find this thread very interesting.  TUGers are very generous.  A lot of the guests are not very appreciative, at least money wise.


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## Quadmaniac (Oct 17, 2015)

*Disasters in the making*

I just came back from a holiday in a 3 br in Hawaii (Marriott) where I invited one of my old friends/employees that gives the shirt off of her back for everyone all the time. I know she is struggling financially and works hard to pay off her debt so I paid for her plane ticket and gave her $300 spending money while we were down there. I rented out the third bedroom to a friend for $700.

We were all coming from different cities and I arrived first at 11:30 am. I picked up the vehicle (I paid for) and bought some basics at Costco, then checked into the unit. I drove back to the other side of the island where the airport to pick up "On me" at 6:30 PM and we went for a bite to eat which I paid for. 

"Renter" was coming in at 8:30 PM, so I picked up an extra meal to leave at the unit for her. We drove all the way back to the other side to pick her up and bring her back to the resort.

Over the next week, we went out for meals most days and I picked up a few more meals. On other occasions, whenever the bill came, Renter would say separate checks please, these are theirs and this is mine. Never ONCE picked up a meal, except for a bottle of coke one time. "On me" even picked up a few meals for me and one or two for all three. These were not expensive meals either $10-20 range all week.

The unit is divided into a 2 br and a studio with a dividing door. When we bought groceries, we put into the main fridge and left it there for everyone. On one of the nights we came back with leftovers, Renter brings her leftovers back to suite to put in her little bar fridge - as if we would eat her leftovers ??? At night time, On Me and I would be sitting in the main living room chatting, watching TV and Renter would close her door to watch on her own. 

Renter wanted to go to the other side of the island to see Diamond Head and Waikiki Beach, but On Me and I wanted to really just enjoy the resort. On Me needs a leg brace for any type of heavy hiking so hiking up the mountain was not for her and I'm not in super fit shape so it was not that attractive to me. That week, the weather was sometimes 88-90 degrees so a bit hot too. We relented and made a trip in the afternoon. Just so happens it was storming out at certain areas with a weather warning of flash flooding while we were driving. I kind of said, maybe we shouldn't go plus we would be catching traffic hour coming back, but Renter really wanted to go, so we continued on. We drove by the beach and getting closer to Diamond Head. 

We missed the sign and turn around to get back up there when Renter said "Well don't bother if we aren't going to hike it". I'm thinking, On me can't really hike it and I don't really want to with it being hot out and not in the best of shape, but she could have if she wanted to. We discussed this prior to going that we did not want to hike it. If this was her thoughts about it, we would not have wasted the afternoon to come here in the first place! I burned threw 3 tanks of gas that week driving around and not once did she offer to pitch in on the car rental or gas.

Needless to say, I didn't have much to say to Renter after the trip. One thing I learned that guests should rent their own car to go where they want and if schedules coincide, fine we can go together. Renter works in HR and makes over $100K a year and is mortgage free. I should have rented the studio at $1600 as Marriott charges $329 a night plus taxes. I cut her a deal and did not ask for car rental or gas. Even though I picked up a few meals, she could not even offer to pick up one. 

It is true, those that have the least give the most and those with the most give the least. I haven't talked with Renter since we came back in September. My rules now is that if guests want to come, they will be paying full fare (of how much I could rent it for or something close) if they want to join and rent their own car, letting them know that if everyone wants to do the same things we can, but they have the independence to go off on their own if that is what they want.

Never again inviting a cheap ass friend - everyone pays their own way, no more MR Nice Guy!


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## vacationhopeful (Oct 17, 2015)

Quadmanica - I have (ok, HAD now) a "renter/share" friend also ... gets $100K in retirement cash and always like tagging along to exciting places. I don't rent cars in South Florida and "renter" is too cheap to rent his own car. Doesn't like spending money for food, does not LIKE ANYONE to have an adult beverage when he is around (first he thought it is foolish to spend dollars to "get" silly, then he got "religion issues" 30 years later), KNOWS everything about EVERYTHING even though he had not read anything about where he is going, and everything to eat is either too expensive or to strange or too spicy.

But the final "personality tic" for me was his "major melt down fit" when he lost (dropped) his all day water-taxi ticket (~$14) 15 minutes after he paid for it. First, we had to back-track a block to "look" for it. Then his temper tantrum and hissy fit - so I said, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? GIVE MY TICKET TO YOU?" ... his immediate reply was* "YES!"*. So I gave him my ticket. He gets ALL HAPPY ... and then asks, "What are you going to do for a Water Taxi ticket?" with the innocent of the village idiot. I told him I was walking up the block and taking the public bus back to the resort ... turned & walked off. _It was TIKI bar time for me _... the one place I knew I would not be seeing his non-drinking face at ... and I was safe for the rest of the week in my collection of nearby watering holes. Except he liked making noisy in his lockoff unit at weird hours ... after drinking, it is really easy to not hear _his noise_.


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## taterhed (Oct 17, 2015)

Ha ha ...  It's funny now.  I'm guessing Mr. Noisy wasn't invited back.  


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## alexadeparis (Oct 17, 2015)

lorenmd said:


> the poorest tipped the best and the wealthy ones the worst.  go figure.



This doesn't surprise me at all. I find this true among other people I have known.


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## alexadeparis (Oct 17, 2015)

moto x said:


> Just wondering, did the parents offer to give you extra money?  Your offer was very generous.  Personally, I would have offered to give you a check to cover all my kid's expenses and show you my appreciation for the invite.  Your offer's value was several hundred dollars not including the room.
> 
> I wish your kids were my kids friends...



Nope, not a one. But one family watched my dog, which I DID appreciate.


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## alexadeparis (Oct 17, 2015)

Jeez, I am not sure if reading through this thread makes me feel better or worse. There are so many jerky "friends" on this thread. I will say that going on a trip with someone definitely reveals the person's shortcomings very quickly. In fact, one of my first rules when my nephew (a frequent travel companion to our family) dates someone new is to take her on a trip for our collective opinion. If she acts up on the trip, she doesn't get our thumbs up.


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## Passepartout (Oct 17, 2015)

alexadeparis said:


> Jeez, I am not sure if reading through this thread makes me feel better or worse.



Well, if it restores your faith in humanity, we have two other couples as friends who travel the world with us. We all have second homes where we can gather, and they (and us) are positively anal about sharing expenses and trip planning duties. We cruise together, have rented VRBO luxury homes, and share at least monthly dinners/performances while at home.

The deadbeat hangers-on and relatives with fish hooks in their pockets need not ask to come along.

Jim


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## DeniseM (Oct 17, 2015)

We've also had some bad luck with timeshare guests:

We once rented 3 timeshares at our home resort, using bonus time, and invited 2 other couples to join us.  

One couple got mad at the other couple and cancelled at the last minute.  They didn't even offer to pay for it, even though originally they were going to pay for their own unit.

They are not invited a 2nd time.


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## dsmrp (Oct 17, 2015)

rapmarks said:


> you want to talk about ungrateful!!!
> first I rented a timeshare near my home for my daughter and her family and she wanted to bring the inlaws.  The inlaws never paid for a thing, out to dinner, or big meals at my home, all the attractions in the city.  I asked them to pick something up one day and had to give them the cash to do it.
> Then, they came with my daughter and her children (age two months, 3, and 5) for two weeks in Florida.  One week at my house where I had to meet many special food requests and one week In Orlando where I paid for the timeshare  I never got reimbursed for their airline tickets or the rental car.. While at my house, they wanted to go out for dinner for her birthday, when the bill came he objected and told the waiter to give us a separate bill, they were not paying for ours.   Then on to Orlando, where I didn't supply the variety of food.  Each day they all went to Disney and I watched the infant.  i never left the resort.  At this time, I discovered that they had purchased all kinds of treats, and kept them in their room so they wouldn't have to share with us.  On the final day, we headed for home and they went to Universal.  My daughter never got to go on one ride because of the baby, no one would take a turn sitting out with the baby. They never thanked me, but did thank the lord many times for giving them all this.



I'm amazed you had to pay for the in-laws plane tickets too!!! 
They sound very selfish and self-centered (is that redundant??) ....for your daughter's sake, I hope her husband 'apple' fell far far away from the tree.
My ex BIL, note I say 'EX', behaved similarly.  He seemed to think my FIL and MIL had deep pockets for timeshare stays, airfare etc, and took advantage of them cause of the grandkids. He was a born again christian and thought the lord would provide ...


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## dsmrp (Oct 17, 2015)

alexadeparis said:


> Yes. i took my daughter and two of her friends to Disney world for her golden birthday. I asked that the parents pay the airfare. I told them I would pay everything else (park tix, food). I told them to give their kids some souvenir money. This conversation was contemporaneous with the invite about 6 months in advance.



Yes I did the same when we invited my son's friend to fly cross country with us to pick up my son in Rhode Island and travel afterwards.  I talked to his mom first, and asked her to pay his airfare.  We paid for everything else.  I didn't have any doubt she would.


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## SMHarman (Oct 17, 2015)

lorenmd said:


> yes, i agree, it all needs to be in advance.  last year i lucked out and snagged three two bedrooms at WKORV.  i threw it out to my friends who ever wanted to go what it would cost for the studios vs the one bedroom.  those  jumped on paid what would have been my maintenance fee for my trades.  we did something really fun for dinners.  i handled it all, presented the various menus charged $10/person which included all drinks,  often fillet mignon, potatoes, salad,  all fabulous foods.  then they  threw their money in the pot and tipped as they wished.  the poorest tipped the best and the wealthy ones the worst.  go figure.  but it worked out very well with 15 people. 6 of them young adults who i gave their own car and surfboards.  going out dinner would have been a pain


On the tipping point. I then the wealthiest May never have worked service so don't undstrand the math of the job #in the US)  
Maybe Danny Meyer can start to change that. 

Sent from my LT26i using Tapatalk


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## Timeshare Von (Oct 18, 2015)

Like most others, we have a variety of situations based on "who" the invitee is.

My MIL travels with us extensively and as a 80+ retiree on a very limited income, we never expect her to pay anything . . . including a nice meal out.  She simply cannot afford it.

Some of our friends/family are welcomed guests and will pick up a meal or two, or the rental car for the week.

I have had a friend or two think that timesharing is "free" after the post purchase sunk cost and have more or less attempted to invite themselves along.  Once I do the education and tell them what our direct costs are (MF + Exchange Fee when applicable) and tell them what their "half" would be . . . they suddenly have no interest.

Lately, I've been using our timeshares to make work travel more affordable for my association (employer) and for the Alaskan RV bartering so there's been no timeshare vacations to share so no problems to deal with.

Funny thing . . . I have an upcoming trip to Waikiki for work.  I couldn't get into one of my home resorts there, so I am using my Wyndham points for the four night stay at the Royal Gardens Resort.  My employer will reimbursement my MF's on the points used.  Works out that the $600 +/- for the four nights is about one-half of what the conference hotel would be.

My board president is scrambling trying to figure out how he too can afford to go for the same affordable rate, rather than what the $239 + taxes for the four nights.  He started looking into timeshares as a direct rental and realized they aren't so cheap either (when you don't own) . . . January in Hawaii = Prime Time!


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## cali-gal (Oct 18, 2015)

I had an experience that was similar when I invited my brother and SIL to Kauai. I didn't expect any remuneration, but was taken aback when they paid for our first, and very inexpensive, hamburger lunch, then said that was their thank you so don't expect anything else, lol. Not in those words but it was the point they were making. Ocean front room, their own large bedroom, etc. Plus they flew on points so it hadn't cost them much, if anything, to fly. I would rather they hadn't done anything than start our trip with that. I really had no expectations of being paid anything, it was just the way it was handled that gave me a bad taste. Eh, what can you do? It's our "We put the fun in dysfunctional" family


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## dsmrp (Oct 18, 2015)

On the flip side, there can also be some over-the-top 'hosts'.  Certainly no one on this thread 

I'm reminded of a couple of years ago, when a long time friend invited me and 2 other long-time friends + spouses to a luxury house rental in Hawaii.  The rental was a company perk of her husband's, who got it at a great discount; just cost of taxes prorated for the # of days.  It was agreed up front to split all rental costs equally and buy your own food, rent your own cars...  Additionally each couple would cook & clean up one dinner for everyone, and  the 3 invited couples together would take out the 'host' couple to dinner as a thank you.

During the planning for the trip, my friend would gush about how fabulous this house was (they had been able to rent it 2x previously), and how fortunate we were to be invited to go there.  She also told us about how a few previous 'guests' of theirs had cooked all meals and cleaned up too, and hinted it would be fine if we all wanted to do that too.  We stuck to the original plan.  She was sort of acting like she owned the place.
During the trip there were a few more indications of her 'specialness', and I know one of my other friends was just biding her tongue over a combination of things, but just let it go at the end.  

We have all known each other for 20+ years, and have traveled together (just 4 women friends).  My friend has never quite acted that way before.  I guess being in the host 'limelight' on vacation just got the best of her


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## ThreeLittleBirds (Oct 18, 2015)

We don't travel with friends or family. Mainly because I know how easily annoyed I can get with other people's idiosyncrasies. I can only think of one friendship that would easily survive a vacation together.


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## VacationForever (Oct 18, 2015)

When we invite friends to travel with us, we do not expect any sort of reimbursements for the accommodation.  We get our air-tickets separately and if our friends offer to pay for the rental car, we accept.  Beyond that it is a matter of their financial situation.  For some friends who are struggling to make ends meet, we pay for everything including their food as we enjoy each other's company and we are just glad that they could join us and see that they have a good time.  For others who have the means to pay, we usually just take turns to pick up the tab - food, tours etc.  We have not had a situation which we felt short-changed.


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## pedro47 (Oct 19, 2015)

Thanks everyone, I am going to share this thread with my spouse family members.


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## vacationhopeful (Oct 19, 2015)

Tank said:


> shouldn't have to ask, done it many times with friends. They all paid for something thru-out the trip as appreciation on there own and that was nice.
> I have had none of them ask about renting one on there own.
> 
> could start off by hey I'm looking at going such and such place this time of year, anybody interested in going and share the cost?
> ...



I like some people but to pay for their vacation? I do not have a printing press for money nor should I feel I need another adult couple or a single "friend" whom to entertain. I rather take the younger generation (my nieces and nephews) who live either a hundred plus miles away or 3,000 thousand miles away. 

Plus, I find I usually get annoyed with several things they do ... vanish when I thought we have plans or argue to change a planned event "because THEY decided". Love those 3 words .... after I had committed my vacation time and/or dollars ... I get stood up or I go it alone. As they walked along the beach or had 2 more drinks or cruised thru another tee shirt shop or took a nap or made other plans... all the while not answering their cell phones or even leaving a note under my door.

Petty ... sure, but when I spent $1500+ for the MFs and exchange fees, did a first day tour AGAIN or ate at that "great (NOT)" OVERPRICE food place ... gave up the master suite to accommodate their privacy & space needs vs me travelling solo .... 

So, I book my 1bdr or studio AND when people ask or imply they would LIKE to tag along on this trip or next time, I email them info for a unit to rent where and when I am going ... tell them my flight schedule ... shuttles to the resort and likes to activities. I don't do the "Welcome Party" by the tour company ... but suggest they attend. 

I am usually surprised if they come  ...because I find MOST people want the adventure but NONE of the work or responsibility that THEIR vacation they PLANNED might be a DUD. Or somewhere along the researching and planning, they decide an escorted tour is best for them.... now, that their next question is, "Do we want to pay for an full service escorted tour?"


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## silentg (Oct 19, 2015)

Our next vacation, we have invited DD & DSiL to Ft Lauderdale with us for the weekend we arrive. DS lives in the area so he will come over and may stay in middle of week. Usually we travel alone the two of us. Used to take my mother but she is not up to traveling anymore. We bought our timeshares for us. Occasionally we bring family. Invite friends but best times are when its just us two. Don't get me wrong, love my kids, but conflicting schedules and personalities sometimes stress instead of relaxing.
Silentg


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## Quadmaniac (Oct 20, 2015)

vacationhopeful said:


> Quadmanica - I have (ok, HAD now) a "renter/share" friend also ... gets $100K in retirement cash and always like tagging along to exciting places. I don't rent cars in South Florida and "renter" is too cheap to rent his own car. Doesn't like spending money for food, does not LIKE ANYONE to have an adult beverage when he is around (first he thought it is foolish to spend dollars to "get" silly, then he got "religion issues" 30 years later), KNOWS everything about EVERYTHING even though he had not read anything about where he is going, and everything to eat is either too expensive or to strange or too spicy.
> 
> But the final "personality tic" for me was his "major melt down fit" when he lost (dropped) his all day water-taxi ticket (~$14) 15 minutes after he paid for it. First, we had to back-track a block to "look" for it. Then his temper tantrum and hissy fit - so I said, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? GIVE MY TICKET TO YOU?" ... his immediate reply was* "YES!"*. So I gave him my ticket. He gets ALL HAPPY ... and then asks, "What are you going to do for a Water Taxi ticket?" with the innocent of the village idiot. I told him I was walking up the block and taking the public bus back to the resort ... turned & walked off. _It was TIKI bar time for me _... the one place I knew I would not be seeing his non-drinking face at ... and I was safe for the rest of the week in my collection of nearby watering holes. Except he liked making noisy in his lockoff unit at weird hours ... after drinking, it is really easy to not hear _his noise_.



Your friend came along more than once ??


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## Ty1on (Oct 20, 2015)

vacationhopeful said:


> I like some people but to pay for their vacation? I do not have a printing press for money nor should I feel I need another adult couple or a single "friend" whom to entertain. I rather take the younger generation (my nieces and nephews) who live either a hundred plus miles away or 3,000 thousand miles away.
> 
> Plus, I find I usually get annoyed with several things they do ... vanish when I thought we have plans or argue to change a planned event "because THEY decided". Love those 3 words .... after I had committed my vacation time and/or dollars ... I get stood up or I go it alone. As they walked along the beach or had 2 more drinks or cruised thru another tee shirt shop or took a nap or made other plans... all the while not answering their cell phones or even leaving a note under my door.
> 
> ...



I'm with you completely.  Additionally, vacation for me is a getaway.  From work, from friends, from my entire daily life.


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## okwiater (Oct 20, 2015)

Ty1on said:


> vacation for me is a getaway...from friends


 
 You need some new friends!


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## Passepartout (Oct 20, 2015)

pedro47 said:


> Thanks everyone, I am going to share this thread with my spouse family members.



That oughtta solve having them along on your vacations...


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## Ty1on (Oct 20, 2015)

okwiater said:


> You need some new friends!



They're always here when I come back.


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## vacationhopeful (Oct 20, 2015)

Quadmaniac said:


> Your friend came along more than once ??



It took years several years time. You forgot the "pain of child birth" and had a second child?

First was a 12day trip on the QE2 with a week long bus tour of Great Britain... told me he did NOT approve of my drinking. The week long bus trip had a woman who ONLY wore hot pink outfits. Her husband had earing aids .. we all needed ear plugs. He thought she was a sweet lady ... and she tended to track after us. I trying to separate her from being around me; he is flirting with her. Last evening on the bus trip she did not join the group for dinner...seems her husband was NOT DEAF ... he used the "hear aids" as ear plugs to not listen to her endless babble (he was a nice guy).

Second was a 2 week trip to Eastern Europe - I went the year before - he dumped all my stuff (his side of the room had a night stand; my side a 30 inch table & wood chair) with a wave of his arm across the table to drop my stuff on the floor ... so he could sit in the chair & read his book as he held it ... I was in the shower.

Third and final trip was to Ft Lauderdale where within 10 minutes he lost his Water Taxi ticket and had a "melt down" ... asked him just what do you want from me to do? (after back tracking and looking for it). "_You want me to give you my TICKET?_" He said YES and I gave it to him and DUMPED his self-centered cheap as crap butt. (Was a causal friend who I had known thru other friends over 30+ years).


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## taterhed (Oct 20, 2015)

vacationhopeful said:


> It took years several years time. You forgot the "pain of child birth" and had a second child?
> 
> 
> 
> ...




My condolences. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## presley (Oct 21, 2015)

Love reading these posts! 

I've mentioned this before, but I am usually much more exhausted after a timeshare vacation and that is often because I spend so much time cleaning up after other people and never having any downtime for myself. 

I can bring different people each time, but one thing they all have in common is that they have no idea how to wash dishes, don't bring money for food and don't know how to take out the trash. The most recent one we had with extra people, one asked me at one point, "how can I make food? all the dishes are dirty."  I went ahead and stated the obvious, "just wash a few dishes to use or fill and run the dishwasher." It never happened. When we got home, I told my husband that I hate timeshare vacations and wanted to sell all of mine. He whined that he needs timeshares so he can cook his own food and said that he will try to help with dishes and trash next time. 

I've never had anyone offer to buy us food, offer money for the room or even attempt to get their own rental cars, etc - even with me telling them ahead of time that they will need to rent their own car or book their own tours.


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## geekette (Oct 21, 2015)

presley said:


> Love reading these posts!
> 
> I've mentioned this before, but I am usually much more exhausted after a timeshare vacation and that is often because I spend so much time cleaning up after other people and never having any downtime for myself.
> 
> ...



HOLY CRAP!  Dump the deadbeats, you are not the world's maid nor vacation benefactor.  

In the future, keep in mind that no one can take advantage of you without your permission, so quit giving it!  This includes your husband.  He will "try to help" next time??  What happened This Time?  He's cooking food and not doing dishes?  He is ignoring that trash needs to be taken out?   He thinks it's ok to do nothing while his wife does all the work?  

Dear, you need a vacation From all of them and don't owe anyone an explanation.


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## DavidnRobin (Oct 21, 2015)

geekette said:


> HOLY CRAP!  Dump the deadbeats, you are not the world's maid nor vacation benefactor.
> 
> In the future, keep in mind that no one can take advantage of you without your permission, so quit giving it!  This includes your husband.  He will "try to help" next time??  What happened This Time?  He's cooking food and not doing dishes?  He is ignoring that trash needs to be taken out?   He thinks it's ok to do nothing while his wife does all the work?
> 
> Dear, you need a vacation From all of them and don't owe anyone an explanation.



^^^ this ^^^

Wow - comparatively my friends and family are fantastic travel companions as to some other's experiences.

My response to cost sharing is that it depends on multiple factors - mainly how generous they are in turn, and their financial situation - and of course do we want to travel with them.
Not a one size fits all situation

Still trying to figure out why this thread is in the SVO forum...


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## presley (Oct 21, 2015)

DavidnRobin said:


> Still trying to figure out why this thread in in the SVO forum...



I didn't reply for a long time because of that. When I saw lots of other non Starwood owners were responding, I joined in.

I never asked for people to pay towards the room, figuring I was paying it whether they came or not. I don't understand the food thing, though. Last time we brought extra people, I specifically said I would have one community box of cereal, a loaf of bread and pb and jelly, juice and bottled water. I said everything else was off limits and for my family only. They didn't touch the off limit stuff, but one of the people literally lived on the cereal and pb and J sandwiches. 

I just spent a weekend cruise with my daughter who paid for her fare. It was awesome. Full room cleaning twice per day, room service, etc. If only there were cruise ships with wheels.... We are already planning another.


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## geekette (Oct 21, 2015)

presley said:


> I didn't reply for a long time because of that. When I saw lots of other non Starwood owners were responding, I joined in.
> 
> I never asked for people to pay towards the room, figuring I was paying it whether they came or not. I don't understand the food thing, though. Last time we brought extra people, I specifically said I would have one community box of cereal, a loaf of bread and pb and jelly, juice and bottled water. I said everything else was off limits and for my family only. They didn't touch the off limit stuff, but one of the people literally lived on the cereal and pb and J sandwiches.
> 
> I just spent a weekend cruise with my daughter who paid for her fare. It was awesome. Full room cleaning twice per day, room service, etc. If only there were cruise ships with wheels.... We are already planning another.



Are these adults or kids?  I could understand just out of college and younger feeling so poor that PBJ is cuisine but I would find it so odd as to be creepy for an adult to live on PBJ.   Unless that adult were unemployed, but in that case, needs a vacation from what?  

I can think of no reasons beyond illness or physical disability that an adult would be unable to load, run, and unload dishwasher.  Even a kid can do it.  Growing up it was only kids at our house taking trash out, dad would be mad if mom had to tell us to do it.  

If ever these folks are so bold as to ask you to take them on vacation again, please go ahead and say yes and state the cost of your MF as the cost of the trip.  Straight faced, delivered as a statement and not an apologetic question; no "if that's ok?" stuff.  Be strong, be firm.  If they wanna go, they can foot the bill this time.  Probably this will prevent their ever asking again.  Well, you know, after they try to wiggle out of the bill this time with "it didn't cost anything last time!" and you can say "It cost me plenty".  Please be selfish. 

I'm so glad you went on a cruise!!!  Even tho cabins are so so small, cruises still fit my idea of luxury.  You deserve to be pampered.  And obviously you have raised your daughter well.  I'm glad you plan to travel with her again, that pairing seems to work well for you.

May every vacation from here on out be blissful vs pissful.


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## gnorth16 (Oct 21, 2015)

I set the ground rules upfront - We split the groceries and car rental and they can pay for a round of golf or a nice meal out.  

Whenever I bring a friend, it's in a 2BR lock-off and we each have our own space.  Some time is spent together, usually meals and pool time and some time is apart , afternoon nap, gym, walk....etc. 

It's a cheap vacation for the friend and I'm out very little booking a 2BR versus a 1BR, so by sharing the cost of the car and a round of golf, I am no further behind.


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## WinniWoman (Oct 21, 2015)

We have had guests a few times and I have never had any issues with cost sharing at all. Usually the guests bring up food (some prepared) and alcohol, etc. Or, they ship in for the groceries.They have paid for some dinners/lunches out and chipped in for some fee based activities, etc. Sometimes we have treated and other times they treat. Sometimes we each pay for our own things. Don't keep exact tabs on it. Haven't had any offer gas money though. 

My brother in law actually cooked us a nice Italian dinner this past summer while we took a day trip to Quebec province while he stayed at the condo. He cleaned up and everything! 

Never had issues with anyone not being neat and cleaning up. I guess I have good friends/relatives!

That said, I prefer if someone has their own condo as to prevent too much togetherness.


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## moonstone (Oct 21, 2015)

We have vacationed with family (immediate & extended), friends as well as neighbours. We have only ever shared a unit with our children. When I see a good deal on a Last Call or Extra Vacation I will mention it to anybody I think would be interested & tell them the 1 bedrooms cost XX & a 2 bedroom would be XY. We invite them over and they watch me book it online and their unit is put on their credit card at time of booking. They have their own place & we have ours! I always call the resort to get units beside or across from each other. We often plan dinners together (eating in or out) as well as outings. We make it clear that there is no hard feelings if somebody wants to do something on their own.

So far it has worked out, although 1 (extended) family group seem to get a little upset that we don't want to eat out 3 meals a day, every day, for the entire stay! I told them that's why we stay in a timeshare & not a hotel!

~Diane


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## klpca (Oct 21, 2015)

moonstone said:


> We have vacationed with family (immediate & extended), friends as well as neighbours. We have only ever shared a unit with our children. When I see a good deal on a Last Call or Extra Vacation I will mention it to anybody I think would be interested & tell them the 1 bedrooms cost XX & a 2 bedroom would be XY. We invite them over and they watch me book it online and their unit is put on their credit card at time of booking. They have their own place & we have ours! I always call the resort to get units beside or across from each other. We often plan dinners together (eating in or out) as well as outings. We make it clear that there is no hard feelings if somebody wants to do something on their own.
> 
> So far it has worked out, although 1 (extended) family group seem to get a little upset that we don't want to eat out 3 meals a day, every day, for the entire stay! I told them that's why we stay in a timeshare & not a hotel!
> 
> ~Diane



We had to do this exact thing in Cabo last year because Hurricane Odile ruined the place where we had a two bedroom unit booked. We took a studio unit (used an xyz) and friends took the 1 bedroom (getaway) and we split the cost since that was the original deal. It worked out great to have two units and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.


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## WinniWoman (Oct 22, 2015)

We have had relatives stay with us once after I invited them because they were short on funds for a vacation. They really are beach/warm weather/Caribbean types so not sure how much they enjoyed themselves in a Northern VT summer location. But every time after that they have gone to the Caribbean for their vacations.

My brother-in-law is single and 69 years old and he never goes anywhere and so we invited him twice, as he loves the mountains. And he really did enjoy himself.

Also invited a friend of mine and her husband once, who we never see as they live several hours away from our home. They came for a couple of days to our home resort once, as well as an exchange we made another time. Had a lock-off unit in that one.

This XMAS- my brother and his family are renting their own unit for a few days at our home resort (as are we), which they have never been to. We never see each other and I was surprised they agreed to do this. When I arranged the rental, we could only get 1 two bdrm unit, so, although we also needed a 2 bdrm unit, we let them take the 2 bdrm and we took the 1 bdrm, since they have a 20 yr old daughter and they have never been to the resort. (We will have our 27 year old son with us). This way we could be in the same building. We will probably treat one or two dinners and I know they will do the same. We plan to just pay for our own fee based activities.

Our son has had some friends come with him in the past.

But I don't think for the most part anyone else I know would rent at our home resort in the summer, which is when we own, (Smuggs) (private or through the resort), as rentals are very expensive and most of them prefer to go to more exotic locations for that amount of money. We had friends who came up once and decided to stay a few days at an Inn 20 minutes away from our condo. I assume they got a good deal on rates and didn't care about having a condo.

The other resort we own at in NH has better rates for private rentals in general.

Lock-offs are probably the best in these situations if you are lucky enough to own a week in one.


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## MommaBear (Oct 22, 2015)

I guess we have been very lucky with our travel companions! We are sitting in an airport waiting for our flights to Hawaii where DH and I will rendezvous with my BFFF. The first week is our TS, the second is in hers. We split the rental car, food and we take turns paying for meals out. We gave up keeping score the year we kept detailed accounting of who paid for what and after spending a few thousand dollars, we were within $10. Another friend we pay the TS and share the rest as she is broke and we are not. She pays her own way there.  We pay for the kids and grandkids lodging, they pay their own transport and we rotate dinner responsibility, with the single daughter taking only one meal for each married couples two meals. Those with more money might do steak, with less tacos. Who cares? We are together, having fun. We often do a surprise treat meal out. We also generally bring a case of nice wine to go with our meals in.

Early in our lives we were the poor relations and would not go if we couldn't afford to do our share. There were times my family insisted we go anyway so we made sure we did more of the clean up or more of the prep.


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## Timeshare Von (Oct 22, 2015)

Some of these people/comments are the very reason why I often travel alone . . . including NOT taking my hubby.  I love him dearly, but for some vacations I plan I know he would not enjoy himself or be game to go along.

Case in point, I just did a 5,500 mile (round trip) road trip vacation over 17 days driving from Milwaukee.  My stops at points of interest included Hyde Park, NY (1 day), Bar Harbor, Maine (3 days), Fundy NP, New Brunswick (2 days), Cape d'Or, Nova Scotia (2 days), Halifax (2 days), Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (2 days) . . . plus the roughly 2 day drive out and 3 day drive home.

Sure plenty of my friends (and family) said "Gee Von that sounds like a great vacation you're planning to Canada . . . any interest in a travel companion?"

When I told them I was driving and planning a mix of camping, B&B's and small motels along the route, there were no takers.  (But I knew that before they even responded!)  Most people cannot fathom the driving part of such a trip.  For me, it's as much a part of the vacation as the destinations.  Being able to make impromptu stops along the route or calling an audible is part of "my fun" on a vacation . . . something many (most?) don't care much for.

Anyway . . . I think it's important to protect our own sanity at all costs.  If/when we lucky out and find a compatible travel companion or the nature of the trip is conducive for others, I say by all means go for it.  But at this stage in my life, I'm done trying to make my vacation plans fit others' .  I guess I've become too selfish in many ways.


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## Timeshare Von (Oct 22, 2015)

*And About Taking Photos*

One more "deal breaker" with some people who have traveled with me . . .

If I hear more than once "Geesh how many photos of a _________ (fill in the blank) does she need?"  They are OFF the list for any future invites.


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## cgeidl (Oct 22, 2015)

*No expectations of any payment*

With our two adult children and their families we offer every year to provide timeshare lodging for a vacation. Our daughter and family have only gone a couple times but our much less affluent son goes one or two weeks a year. With friends we have we split the timeshare cost if they insist and cover it if the topic never comes up. With one couple they always take us out some place nice. The other couple insists on paying half the cost and they can well afford it. I drive and they always pick up the gas and sometimes buy a meal.
I see nothing wrong when planning a trip to make it clear the costs should be split. We just asked a couple to join us on a 17 day trip to Morocco and never offered to pay their share of the cost. Why should timeshare cost be any different?


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## kool_kat (Oct 22, 2015)

I own the timeshares and was the one who got into it when I was single.  My family loved it and how cheap it was and I planned everything (I enjoy doing that).  

I have always figured out what my maintenance fee costs and exchange costs are and that's what I charge.  I am not looking to make money off my family, but feel like the cost should be shared.  If I have the points, I will also book vacations for my family without me and they pay my maintenance fees for the points + any exchange fees.  It's still usually about a 1/3 of what they would pay and nobody in my family feels like I should foot the bill for their vacation.

I got married recently and my BIL & SIL have a Disney timeshare.  We are doing a Disney cruise and then Disney for 3 days and they are going to get a 2 bedroom timeshare and not charge us.  To reciprocate, I told them I would try to exchange for a beach location in the summer for them to use and only asked them to pay the fees associated with booking (no charge for any maintenance).  So I don't have to pay for 3 nights at Disney and they are getting a week vacation in Hilton Head for 300.  We are both pretty happy.


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## BJRSanDiego (Oct 22, 2015)

*Generous guests and free loaders*

We sometimes share a 2 or 3 BR with a relative or friend.  We have had a variety of different results:

1.  Guest 1 (SIL and her hubby) - absolutely great guests.  Took us out to dinner one night.  Shared liquor and food.  Helped keep the place neat and clean.  Gracious and generous guests.  We would travel with them anytime in the future.  
2.  Guests 2 (wife's nephew and wife) - They provide new meaning to the word - - cheapskates.  One evening we went to a pub for pizza.  I brought 1/2 off coupons.  When the $20 bill came, the nephew counted out $8.92 for their portion.  That was their chance to do something nice and they chinzed out.  They invited us to join them at Mama's Fish house (Maui) for dinner.  We weren't too surprised when they only paid for their own meals and complained about the prices.  In the unit, they ate our snacks, invited people over (who drank our liquor and ate our snacks).  They were pigs in the unit.  Took wet beach towels with sand and threw into the dryer.  Used the kitchen wash cloth on the floor.  etc.  As they were leaving, the wife had to nudge the nephew who (as a second thought) said:  "oh yeah, almost forgot...thanks for inviting us".  We would not travel with them again.  :annoyed:
3.  Guest 3 (in-laws) - we travel with them once every year.  We split everything.  Works out fine.  
4.  Guest 4 (friend) - we paid for the roof and they took us out to dinner and provided meat for grilling one night.  Nice guests.  We would invite them again.


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## PGtime (Oct 26, 2015)

Wow, this is really eye opening to read all of these posts...  

We have travelled with friends and with relatives.  It has been a blend of getting their own timeshares (that we set up) or staying with us in a larger 2 or 3 bedroom timeshare.  My approach has always been they will pay the costs for their own timeshare if they get their own and we will pay if they stay with us (since we would have had those costs anyway).  

If they stay with us, I do not expect to have buy all of the food or pay for all meals at restaurants for my guests (the exception is friends of our son when he was younger or non adult nieces and nephews).  It really has never been a problem, as we all just chip in for the food and/or alcohol or pay for our own meals at restaurants.  Usually, we have had a meal (or two) paid for by our guests to thank us for our hospitality.  Also, most of the time we take turns preparing meals (including clean up!) a couple of times.   

As an example, this year my sister and her family will go to Riviera Maya with us and I set them up using a bonus week through SFX.  She paid for the bonus week and the guest certificate.  I did not have to ask; she offered up front and made it clear she did not expect for me to foot the bill.  In addition, we'll all go to Walmart to get supplies and I know the money issue will not be a problem, based upon previous trips.  Of course, it would be easy anyway when they stay in their own place (they can buy food or eat out every meal...).

The only exception was when my siblings and I (and all of our families) wanted to all go to HHI for week one summer.  Since we own a condo there, we stayed at our own place but were able to get an extra week at another condo for one of my sisters who could not have gone had I not set it up.  It worked out great because about 6 months before the trip (while I was looking for a timeshare for her), I was contacted by another condo owner who wanted to "swap" 1 week (in essence doing our own timeshare like exchange) because their management company rented out the week they wanted to go to the island.  So, my sister stayed there that week, perfect!

I think most of the posts I've read so far that were flat out awful as far as guests and relatives taking advantage of their hosts hospitality and generosity could have been avoided with better upfront communication about expectations (i.e. who pays for what and how much).  And if someone does not live up to said expectations, they are not invited again.  After all, it is my vacation too...

JMHO


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## SandyPGravel (Oct 28, 2015)

Another take on this situation.  We invited friends/neighbors to go to Harborside at Atlantis with us.  I decided to get a 2 BR L/O.  They asked us after the entire trip was booked what we expected for compensation.  We said nothing we invited you along, if you want to give us something toward the MF or take us out for a nice dinner that would be fine.

We usually plan on eating out a couple times, but not the entire time since eating at Atlantis is expensive IMO.  Maybe if I owned at the Cove I wouldn't think so, but that's a different story.  I have tried to impress upon her that eating out three meals a day, two adults and a child for 7 days is going to add up.  Actually I arranged a taxi stop to a grocery store, so maybe they will pick up something besides beer at the liquor store.

The wife of the couple informed us months ago that she is not cooking at all on vacation, she is on vacation.  Won't be doing any laundry either.  That is their choice.  But now I asked if they wanted to plan an excursion together and she said," No all I want to do on vacation is lay on the beach or by the pool."  Why would you agree to go on vacation with someone else and then plan to have nothing to do with the hosts unless it fits into her plans?  Earlier in the year she sounded excited about going into Nassau to shop, now she doesn't even want to do that.  Why are they going to an exotic location, new country if you could accomplish what you intend in Florida for a lot cheaper and without us around.

My guess is things might be different once we get there, but right now I'm kind of bummed.   Might as well have rented out the other half to total strangers.

17 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes, 42 seconds to go...


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## WinniWoman (Oct 28, 2015)

Yeah- this is why I prefer the other couple to rent their own place and they can do their own thing most times and us ours. Maybe hook up a couple of times and that is that. Unless they are visiting/staying for just a couple of days, I'd rather it be that way.

I remember when my parents had a timeshare in Connecticut- my mom, who was a very hard worker, wanted to just lay by the pool and beach, but when relatives came to stay she would get stressed feeling like she had to entertain them. She sometimes would get outright resentful about it. 

She learned after awhile not to invite anyone...

I am at that point now, too. Not to mention when you vacation with other people it becomes more expensive. 

I think I've invited everyone I ever thought of inviting so I am good now. LOL!

For XMAS vacation at our home resort my brother and his family will have their own unit. Perfect. We will do some activities and meals together and have our own space.


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