# Anyone wanna mail me a showerhead...from overseas?



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 3, 2011)

We just re-did the downstairs bathroom in our house...it was a half bath we converted it to a 3/4(no tub)...But all i can find anywhere are those wimpy 2GPM - 2.5GPM showerheads...i've tried those and they're just rediculously horrible

So i figure..since TS people travel so much and the 2.5GPM restriction is just a US Restriction...maybe someone can stop in a store and pick me up something that flows like 5GPM+ I'm thinking Mexico's got to have the best stuff

What'd ya think?


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

Have you looked online?


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 3, 2011)

DeniseM said:


> Have you looked online?



I can find information on how to remove the restrictors...but even with the restrictors removed the newer shower heads aren't built to allow a good flow

Maybe if i search ebay i can find a 'pre-ban' shower head


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

Have you googled for a website to buy the type of shower head you want?  Water restrictions are going to be local ordinances - but that doesn't mean they aren't sold online.


----------



## Talent312 (Aug 3, 2011)

We bought unrestricted showerheads from overseas on www.ebay.com
You could also try http://www.amazon.co.uk/


----------



## am1 (Aug 3, 2011)

Maybe we should learn to get use to showering with less water.  Its good for the environment.


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 3, 2011)

Ok Ebay helped a bit 

I ordered this from Ebay
http://cgi.ebay.com/SHOWER-BLASTER-...525?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2564c6e9c5

and "The Supreme" from here
http://www.highpressureshowerheads.com/high-pressure-shower-head-new-products.html

We have two showers in the house...i figure i'll keep the one i don't like as much as a spare


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 3, 2011)

am1 said:


> Maybe we should learn to get use to showering with less water.  Its good for the environment.



It's good for the enviroment to not shower at all....i don't know if its good for my chances of keeping my job or finding a future Ex Mrs. Ride though


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> finding a future Ex Mrs. Ride though



Future "ex" Mrs. Ride? :rofl:


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 3, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> It's good for the enviroment to not shower at all....i don't know if its good for my chances of keeping my job or finding a future Ex Mrs. Ride though



If you install a 5 gpm shower head (which is a good flow) instead of a 2.5 gpm unit, and shower with a friend, it's a wash.


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 3, 2011)

DeniseM said:


> Future "ex" Mrs. Ride? :rofl:



I'm honest! I've been single so long...i don't picture being able to break any of my habits....or a women being able to put up with them very long


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> I'm honest! I've been single so long...i don't picture being able to break any of my habits....or a women being able to put up with them very long



For once, I have to agree with you 100%!


----------



## e.bram (Aug 3, 2011)

Ride:
If you put the funnyface icon on your post, that makes it OK.


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

e.bram - I'm sorry, but that kind of "humor" isn't appropriate for TUG and I edited out the posts.


----------



## Born2Travel (Aug 3, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> Ok Ebay helped a bit
> 
> I ordered this from Ebay
> http://cgi.ebay.com/SHOWER-BLASTER-...525?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2564c6e9c5
> ...


 
Would love to hear wihich works out the best - sorry, but I can't compromise on showerheads - we will keep the old ones until they die.


----------



## e.bram (Aug 3, 2011)

Denise:
I am sorry, I couldn't resist. ( the terget did not seem too upset)
You have admit to admit  it was funny. Maybe TUG should create an "adult" topic heading. 

ps. You allow ad hominem attacks on myself by Steve Nelson.


----------



## dmbrand (Aug 3, 2011)

Hey Ride, 
Let us know how these showerheads actually work out.  We remodeled our bath this year, as well.  I didn't even know that the new ones had restrictors(sp).  We put in a Kohler one that we really like, and my husband called Kohler to see if there was a way to remove the restrictor....they weren't very helpful.

We have a well and septic field; since the water returning to the ground is 100 feet away from the water I'm extracting, I figure I'm not hurting anyone else if I want mega pressure.  

By the way, your posts are always entertaining.  I really wish we had a "like" button.


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

e.bram said:


> ps. You allow ad hominem attacks on myself by Steve Nelson.



Believe it or not, I do not read every single post.  If you feel that any post violates the TUG posting rules, please click on the red triangle in the bottom left corner of the post.  That report will go to ALL TUG Staff members,  who will give their consideration, and if they agree, they will delete or edit the post.


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 3, 2011)

e.bram said:


> Denise:
> I am sorry, I couldn't resist. ( the terget did not seem too upset)
> You have admit to admit  it was funny. Maybe TUG should create an "adult" topic heading.
> 
> ps. You allow ad hominem attacks on myself by Steve Nelson.





DeniseM said:


> Believe it or not, I do not read every single post.  If you feel that any post violates the TUG posting rules, please click on the red triangle in the bottom left corner of the post.  That report will go to ALL TUG Staff members,  who will give their consideration, and if they agree, they will delete or edit the post.


Or you can PM me.  Point taken on _ad hominem_ commentary, and comments in another post redacted in consideration of your helpful comment.


----------



## e.bram (Aug 3, 2011)

Steve;
Actually, you can write anything you want. I can defend myself.

ps. When you can't refute the message you attack the messenger.


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 3, 2011)

Actually - you can BOTH write anything you want - within the limits of the TUG posting rules...


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 3, 2011)

Back on topic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMITcQUe-9M


----------



## isisdave (Aug 3, 2011)

I'm happy with the 5 GPM showerheads I got on ebay in 2005.  I figure 3 minutes at 5GPM is the same as 6 minutes at half that flow, and it DOES take longer to wash with lo-flow.  And even though I have precious little hair left, low-flow heads always seem to leave shampoo behind unless I spend an extra minute rinsing.

Hmm, maybe I could rig up one of those 1.0 gallon-per-flush tanks overhead, and let it go all at once ....


----------



## pjrose (Aug 3, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> I'm honest! I've been single so long...i don't picture being able to break any of my habits....or a women being able to put up with them very long





DeniseM said:


> For once, I have to agree with you 100%!



:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:


----------



## pjrose (Aug 3, 2011)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> If you install a 5 gpm shower head (which is a good flow) instead of a 2.5 gpm unit, and shower with a friend, it's a wash.



:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: 

 I'd probably be happy with 2.5 gpm - our water pressure is so horribly low (barely 25 PSI) we probably don't even get that.


----------



## ampaholic (Aug 3, 2011)

Hey Ride - do what I do, take bubble baths :whoopie: 

Or what I also did - I bought some plumbing parts and hooked up two side by side 2.5 heads = 5 gpm in STEREO!


----------



## MuranoJo (Aug 3, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> Back on topic
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMITcQUe-9M



What a blast!  Heck, I never even knew about 5GPMs or whatever.


----------



## laurac260 (Aug 4, 2011)

Men love data and analyzing things .  It's in the genes, and I see it with my 4 yr old already.  So inasmuch as the water restrictions cause some people issues with water pressure it has created a new method of data analysis .



That being.. Whether you measured a "two flusher" "three flusher " or the rare "four flusher"!!!


----------



## laurac260 (Aug 4, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> It's good for the enviroment to not shower at all....i don't know if its good for my chances of keeping my job or finding a future Ex Mrs. Ride though



Yea, I gotta admit you remind me of someone I briefly dated yrs ago.  Date one he was cute and charming.  Date 2 his jokes grew stale .  Date 3, while I don't remember the specifics I do remember it ending with me tossing his beer in his face.


----------



## vacationhopeful (Aug 4, 2011)

laurac260 said:


> Yea, I gotta admit you remind me of someone I briefly dated yrs ago.  Date one he was cute and charming.  Date 2 his jokes grew stale .  Date 3, while I don't remember the specifics I do remember it ending with me tossing his beer in his face.



Ride reminds most of us of the ones we either kicked to the curb or watch from the sidelines for cheap entertainment.  There is hope for him to become a better person the longer he posts here.  

Laura, this spunky and fun side of you, will serve you well as your kids get older.


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

laurac260 said:


> Yea, I gotta admit you remind me of someone I briefly dated yrs ago.  Date one he was cute and charming.  Date 2 his jokes grew stale .  Date 3, while I don't remember the specifics I do remember it ending with me tossing his beer in his face.



I've had many a beer tossed in my face by 'cranky' women....i thought that happened to everyone though :hysterical:


----------



## Talent312 (Aug 4, 2011)

I will say, that some folks are just not good marriage material. I have a brother who has been married 4 times. Whether it was poor choices or whatever, you'd have thought he'd get the message.

OTOH, marriage ain't all its crack'd up to be. I look back on my brief interlude between marriages and wonder, why was I so eager to hook myself to the ol' ball+chain again? There's a lot to be said for not having to negotiate everything from AC temps to potato chips.

In any event, I've never had a drink thrown in my face, but I have made plenty of bonehead plays myself. Everyone will at some point... if they live long enuff.


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

Talent312 said:


> There's a lot to be said for not having to negotiate everything from AC temps to potato chips.



This is why i'm not rushing into anything...My parents were high school sweethearts that married straight out of high school....and if you look at them now, they still run around like newlyweds...But even in what seems like a perfect marriage...theres still a degree of sacrafice and negotiating to make the other person happy

Why get married and give up being able to do everything the right way(your way) just to make someone else happy....i just don't get how marriage is even a viable option for anyone in these times...the ONLY reason i see it as a possiblity in the long term FOR ME...is the second income thing...it would be nice when i fill out Mortgage and loan forms to be able to claim twice the income, but even with that you are compromising on the house to make both people happy...or even to be able to rent a place twice as big, because someones splitting the costs....But beyond that....I have NO idea why someone would marry


----------



## sstug (Aug 4, 2011)

I bought one from this website
http://www.highpressureshowerheads.com/high-pressure-shower-head-home.html

I just had to remove the flow restrictor before installing and now I'm happy with the water flow.


----------



## Passepartout (Aug 4, 2011)

[much snipped...]



Ridewithme38 said:


> This is why i'm not rushing into anything...
> 
> ...theres still a degree of sacrafice and negotiating to make the other person happy
> 
> ...



From someone who spent 25 years single after a brief foray into marital bliss (and a few semi-long term trials). There's no hurry and who knows, some people don't ever find their match. I had thought much like you, but at some point- about age 50something- and pretty independent- my traveling companion went on her final journey. I figured I'd better find someone 'cause I wasn't getting any better looking and I didn't want to end up in a truck full of cats. I'm not fond of cats.

It's more than being able to include someone else's income on an application- though that doesn't hurt. Remember that she gets to to the same. Hopefully you will find one who's goals and values are similar to yours, but not TOO similar. Otherwise you will bore each other to tears and sit silently watching TV or movies and not discussing anything of consequence- just agreeing. Ho Hum!

Wishing you a lot of happiness- and a good shower head.

Jim Ricks


----------



## Patri (Aug 4, 2011)

Being single because you are selfish must be very lonely.


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

Patri said:


> Being single because you are selfish must be very lonely.



I bet it beats the loneliness of being in a loveless marriage with someone you can just barely stand to be around....Just to be married though

Obviously Everyone falls into patterns in their lives and gets used to doing things a certain way...is that always a selfish thing? or is it just a matter of "this is how i've always done it, its just the easiest way"?

And is it really selfish if it doesn't effect anyone but you...For instance, when i shower, i directly rub the soap on me...it gets covered with hair...now if i lived with other people, this would be a selfish behavior, they'd have to use my hairy soap afterwards...But living alone...it doesn't effect anyone but me...OR with that thought in mind..isn't Everything you do when you Single selfish?


----------



## Ken555 (Aug 4, 2011)

I just had two bathrooms remodeled completely, and chose a Hansgrohe showerhead which is fantastic (and the ceiling rainhead, but that's another story). My contractor removed the water flow restrictor, after a few days of trying it myself (it was truly pathetic). I know there are good options out there that do not use too much water. I've simply promised myself to take faster showers...


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

sstug said:


> I bought one from this website
> http://www.highpressureshowerheads.com/high-pressure-shower-head-home.html
> 
> I just had to remove the flow restrictor before installing and now I'm happy with the water flow.



How hard was it to remove the flow restrictor before installing? the shower head i have on now, it looks like i'll actually have to drill a larger hole if i wanted more flow...is it like that with those also?


----------



## Luanne (Aug 4, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> But beyond that....I have NO idea why someone would marry



Maybe for the kids.


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

Luanne said:


> Maybe for the kids.



I checked with my Elementry school Sex-ed teacher, you don't need to be married to have kids...i'll have to find the contact info for my junior high biology teacher, but i think he'll confirm that too

One of the big sticking point of the Women's Rights movement was the ability to divorce....Are you saying the Womens Rights movement was a Bad idea?


----------



## ampaholic (Aug 4, 2011)

Patri said:


> Being single because you are selfish must be very lonely.



At one job I was having a discussion with a woman who thought she was born to be everyones supervisor  .

I said something pretty much like your quote Pat, to which she commented "I'll have you know I've been married several times!

I asked how many times she had been divorced - she replied three (proudly).

All I could think of to say was "hmmm - I would have thought more ...."

:hysterical:


----------



## Luanne (Aug 4, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> I checked with my Elementry school Sex-ed teacher, you don't need to be married to have kids...i'll have to find the contact info for my junior high biology teacher, but i think he'll confirm that too
> 
> One of the big sticking point of the Women's Rights movement was the ability to divorce....Are you saying the Womens Rights movement was a Bad idea?



Forget it, not worth even replying.


----------



## sstug (Aug 4, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> How hard was it to remove the flow restrictor before installing? the shower head i have on now, it looks like i'll actually have to drill a larger hole if i wanted more flow...is it like that with those also?



Simple - it's a little plastic disc.  My old one didn't have a removable restrictor so I had to buy the new showerhead.


----------



## Passepartout (Aug 4, 2011)

Ride, I gotta say you have livened up the lounge about as much as Sally13 made the Mexico forum worth visiting. 

This thread seems to really be like Doublemint gum- two threads in one.

Here's a link to a high flow shower head or two that might appeal to you and don't even require a trip to Canada or Mexico: http://www.highpressureshowerheads.com/

Jim


----------



## Kozman (Aug 4, 2011)

am1 said:


> Maybe we should learn to get use to showering with less water.  Its good for the environment.



Easy.  Just stay in the shower twice as long!  It's relaxing. :hysterical:


----------



## geoand (Aug 4, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> This is why i'm not rushing into anything...My parents were high school sweethearts that married straight out of high school....and if you look at them now, they still run around like newlyweds...But even in what seems like a perfect marriage...theres still a degree of sacrafice and negotiating to make the other person happy
> 
> Why get married and give up being able to do everything the right way(your way) just to make someone else happy....i just don't get how marriage is even a viable option for anyone in these times...the ONLY reason i see it as a possiblity in the long term FOR ME...is the second income thing...it would be nice when i fill out Mortgage and loan forms to be able to claim twice the income, but even with that you are compromising on the house to make both people happy...or even to be able to rent a place twice as big, because someones splitting the costs....But beyond that....I have NO idea why someone would marry



Ride - full disclosure.  Twice married and the second one is happily enjoying the so far 33 year journey.

Using your reasoning, one would never have children.  If you haven't yet, you will be giving up something (the right way (your way)) just to make someone (your child) else happy.  If I were a betting man, I would bet big that you have already done so with your child and she hasn't even hit the teen years yet.


----------



## Fern Modena (Aug 4, 2011)

Ride,
I guess that's why they call it the "ME" generation, huh?  

All the sacrifices I might have made, and the changes to my life to be married were well worth it.  I would have done more.  I was married 32 years, and if he hadn't died I'd still be married.  That's what love is about.  

But if you are so self centered that you can't/don't want to change for someone else, then so be it.  But you could be missing one of life's great gifts.

Just sayin'   

Fern





Ridewithme38 said:


> This is why i'm not rushing into anything...My parents were high school sweethearts that married straight out of high school....and if you look at them now, they still run around like newlyweds...But even in what seems like a perfect marriage...theres still a degree of sacrafice and negotiating to make the other person happy
> 
> Why get married and give up being able to do everything the right way(your way) just to make someone else happy....i just don't get how marriage is even a viable option for anyone in these times...the ONLY reason i see it as a possiblity in the long term FOR ME...is the second income thing...it would be nice when i fill out Mortgage and loan forms to be able to claim twice the income, but even with that you are compromising on the house to make both people happy...or even to be able to rent a place twice as big, because someones splitting the costs....But beyond that....I have NO idea why someone would marry


----------



## laurac260 (Aug 4, 2011)

Ok, so this is a shower head thread .  But since its gone in a different direction lets play marriage counselor .  Ride, what, honestly attracted you to the ex mrs ride, and what was the ultimate undoing?


----------



## laurac260 (Aug 4, 2011)

Nevermind what this post was going to be about... I'm more capable of clear communication after say 3 margaritas than I am stone cold sober pecking on an iPhone.  Next vacation I bring the laptop .


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

laurac260 said:


> Ok, so this is a shower head thread .  But since its gone in a different direction lets play marriage counselor .  Ride, what, honestly attracted you to the ex mrs ride, and what was the ultimate undoing?



Honestly?  Ride has a 'type' of women...what attracted me to my daughters mother is that she 'looked like' my ex before that, that i had just broke up with...What was the ultimate undoing?  Mainly that she also had the same personality of the ex before her..."strong" women who doesn't back down and speaks her mind....Now i don't mind that, i'm very timid in RealLife(the complete opposite of online)...But she's too much of that...Ride needs a partner in life...not someone who's going to decide for him...someone who will decide WITH him...But thats not my Current women problem

Here's the problem Ride is currently running into...I've gone on most of my TS vacations with my daughter and her mother...because i believe just because we're not a 'traditional Family' doesn't mean my daughter should suffer, we get along fine....But Last trip we traveled together, things got strange, 2br lockoff with daughter and ex in the small side of lockoff and me in the large side, i fell asleep, daughter fell asleep, ex sneaks in my side when i'm sleeping...things got creepy...now when i bring up Vacations, she can't make it...its very frustrating!

_Bet you never heard this from a guy before:_ how do you explain to a women that you just want to be friends...and really only friends because of the kid involved?  This is a problem i run into ALOT, i find a girl i get along with and all of a sudden it goes from hanging out with this cool chick...to somehow she's moving in....Why can't i find a chick that just wants to be friends?


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 4, 2011)

Ride - Your Ex may have mistaken your intentions when you invited her on vacation - did you spell it out clearly for her in advance?

Also - are you saying you want a true friend, or a friend with benefits?  Despite what Pop Culture may say, I don't believe that most women want to be a "friend with benefits."  That concept was made up by men for men.  

I'm old school here - but to me, a "friend with benefits" is someone who is is simply being used....   i.e. - I don't love you, or even like you enough to want to have a relationship with you, but it sure is handy to get together for sex now and then.  YMMV


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

I'm not that kinda guy...I want a travel buddy...I can get the benefits at the bars around my town, i have no need to keep someone around just for that, i don't need that...a true friend would be ideal...

I think i just don't know how to spell things like that out...all i really asked was if she wanted to come on vacations with my and our daughter...i thought it would make it a little easier if there were two sets of eyes on the little one instead of just one...i thought it would help if she had a female with her to go into the ladies room instead of my covering her eyes and running her into a mens room stall

Theres a few complications for a single father when traveling with a daughter...a female travel buddy solves alot of those things...plus, its nice to have someone else who can enjoy the adult stuff too(not sex, mostly talking drinks and simple things like the changing of leave colors)


----------



## e.bram (Aug 4, 2011)

Ride:
You want to make a little  kid happy? Get back with your ex-wife.


----------



## Ridewithme38 (Aug 4, 2011)

e.bram said:


> Ride:
> You want to make a little  kid happy? Get back with your ex-wife.



See the thing is...we were never married...we even were broken up from dating when my daughter was conceived, i was dating someone else(its a long story, drunkin night)...so my daughter's never known us as a couple...

The situation is kinda unique...Usually with a child the upsetting part is the dramatic change in the household....there was no dramatic change in my daughter life where one day mom and daddy were living together and the next they weren't....the dramatic change WOULD be if mom and daddy DID move in together(though not as negative as a divorce)

The thing that i've ALWAYS been on the fence about...Is it better for a child to grow up in a household with two parents always fighting and upset...or with two happy parents, who don't live together....I've never been able to answer that question....What do you think?

(Wow this thread has morphed!)


----------



## e.bram (Aug 4, 2011)

Dream on. 
Get married.
Do the right thing for your daughter.


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 4, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> I'm not that kinda guy...I want a travel buddy...



Ride!  I'm so proud of you - you just got a gold star from your TUG mom!  (All kidding aside - that's very refreshing to hear.)

As far as your daughter - getting married for your daughter's benefit will never work, unless you love her mom and would want to marry her, even if you didn't have a child together.

Now that you have had an awkward encounter with your Ex, I think you *need* to have that talk.  If it's too awkward in person - how about a  conciliatory email:

_Dear Ms. Ride's Ex-Girlfriend:

I know things got a little awkward on our last trip, so I thought I would clear the air.  First I want to say that you are doing a great job with our daughter, and I couldn't have picked a better mom for her.

I really enjoy our family vacations and I hope they can continue.  I care about you very much, and it's my fault that I haven't broached this topic before.  I am not at a point in my life where I am looking for a relationship, and I don't know if I ever will be.  But I do enjoy your company very much, and doing things together as a family.  I'm sorry if I sent the wrong signals - what I am really hoping for is a caring, respectful friendship, and a close  co-parenting relationship for our daughter.

I'd be happy to talk to you about this in person, but I thought it might be more comfortable to approach it this way first.  Please give me some feedback.

Thanks!
Ride_


----------



## e.bram (Aug 4, 2011)

Denise : You are right
Even Anne Boleyn did not want to be a friend with benefits.


ps. Probably would have changed history if she did.


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 4, 2011)

e.bram said:


> Denise : You are right



Now that's a first!


----------



## Passepartout (Aug 4, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> (Wow this thread has morphed!)



D'ya think? Take a shower!  Jim


----------



## e.bram (Aug 4, 2011)

On our first date my wife said don't think of moving in together w/o getting married. That was 26 years ago.


----------



## DeniseM (Aug 4, 2011)

e.bram said:


> On our first date my wife said don't think of moving in together w/o getting married. That was 26 years ago.



Wow!  She's a fast worker!  I guess she "had you from hello."

And congratulations on 26 years of marriage - that's impressive!


----------



## am1 (Aug 4, 2011)

It is amazing how rude people can be on this thread.

I think it is very unselfish if someone does not want to change their ways to not get married.  Think of how many people get married to get married or with the idea that they can change their spouse (the way they think or physically for a night) or that they are not going to bother to change themselves.


----------



## pjrose (Aug 4, 2011)

laurac260 said:


> Men love data and analyzing things .  It's in the genes, and I see it with my 4 yr old already.  So inasmuch as the water restrictions cause some people issues with water pressure it has created a new method of data analysis .



So do plenty of women, me included.


----------



## Elan (Aug 4, 2011)

I just want to say that this might be my most favorite TUG thread ever. 

  Who cares about debt ceilings when we can seamlessly morph shower heads into Ride's personal affairs?


----------



## Passepartout (Aug 4, 2011)

A minor observation about men and women and marriage. Women marry men they think they can change. Men marry women that they want to stay the same. Both are wrong.

Jim


----------



## T_R_Oglodyte (Aug 4, 2011)

A man is not complete until he is married.  Then he's finished.


----------



## vacationhopeful (Aug 4, 2011)

Our dear Ride is growing up.

And even e.bram is becoming a nicer and more sharing Tugger on this thread. 

Such bonding. Such sharing. And such truisms ... about men, women, and marriage. The marvel of TUG.


----------



## Elan (Aug 4, 2011)

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henny Youngman


----------



## pjrose (Aug 4, 2011)

The secret of a happy marriage is to shower together.

See how I morphed it back?


----------



## pjrose (Aug 5, 2011)

*Who are "we"???*

So wait a sec....I must have missed this somewhere, but in your first post you said "We just re-did the downstairs bathroom in our house." To whom do "we" and "our" refer?  

Inquiring minds want to know


----------



## chriskre (Aug 5, 2011)

Don't ask, don't tell.  :ignore:


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 5, 2011)

T_R_Oglodyte said:


> A man is not complete until he is married.  Then he's finished.


:hysterical: Thank you.  That must be shared with my FB friends--and my DH.


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 5, 2011)

Nevermind...


----------



## MuranoJo (Aug 5, 2011)

Good move, but glad I caught that first, Rose.   

Let's see...
Shower Power
Women's right to divorce
Where to order shower heads
Why get married
Simple fix to get more shower power from shower heads
Traveling with EXs who aren't really EXs
Who was the 'we' who re-did the basement shower

Just along for the Ride.


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 5, 2011)

muranojo said:


> Good move, but glad I caught that first, Rose.


Yeah, decided we didn't need to go there.  It's late and I'm not thinking very clearly.


----------



## NWL (Aug 5, 2011)

Fern Modena said:


> Ride,
> I guess that's why they call it the "ME" generation, huh?
> 
> All the sacrifices I might have made, and the changes to my life to be married were well worth it.  I would have done more.  I was married 32 years, and if he hadn't died I'd still be married.  That's what love is about.
> ...



Well said Fern!

Cheers!


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 5, 2011)

*A little Garth Brooks*

Looking back on the memory of 
The dance we shared beneath the stars above 
For a moment all the world was right 
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye 
And now I'm glad I didn't know 
The way it all would end the way it all would go 
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain 
But I'd of had to miss the dance 
Holding you I held everything 
For a moment wasn't I the king 
But if I'd only known how the king would fall 
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all 
And now I'm glad I didn't know 
The way it all would end the way it all would go 
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain 
But I'd of had to miss the dance 
Yes my life is better left to chance 
*I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance*


----------



## NWL (Aug 5, 2011)

Passepartout said:


> A minor observation about men and women and marriage. Women marry men they think they can change. Men marry women that they want to stay the same. Both are wrong.
> 
> Jim



I respectfully disagree with the reason why women marry men, but I completely agree with your comment on why men marry women!  

And just to be clear, I think your DW scored big time when she met you.   

Cheers!


----------



## Talent312 (Aug 5, 2011)

Passepartout said:


> A minor observation about men and women and marriage. Women marry men they think they can change. Men marry women that they want to stay the same. Both are wrong.



The long version of that joke, which I tell anyone planning to marry:
-------------------------
When a woman marries a man, she sees him as having great potential and has high hopes.
She thinks that he will change into something better than he is today.

OTOH, when a man marries a woman, he sees her as perfect and can't imagine her any other way.
He thinks that she will stay the same generous, kind, beautiful young woman that she is today.

Inevitably they will both be disappointed... He won't change; and she will.

IOW, for a successful marriage, a woman needs to accept a man for who he is today, as disappointing as that may be; and a man he needs to accept that she is going to find him a disappointment, and things will change.


----------



## MommaBear (Aug 5, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> The thing that i've ALWAYS been on the fence about...Is it better for a child to grow up in a household with two parents always fighting and upset...or with two happy parents, who don't live together....I've never been able to answer that question....What do you think?
> 
> (Wow this thread has morphed!)


Oh, it is much better for children to grow up with two happy parents who do not live together. I grew up with the other and it is HELL on the kids.

OTOH, I have been  happily married to my best friend and father of my children for 34 years. We have as much fun and laughter as we did when we met. Our relationship makes each of us a better person. We also have lives seperate from each other and it gives us something to talk about over dinner and on date nights.


----------



## e.bram (Aug 5, 2011)

Ride:
Simple. Just ask the kid(your daughter).


----------



## sail27bill (Aug 5, 2011)

Wow has this thread morphed--almost like reading a steamy novel.  At this point Ride I think that your bathroom needs 2 shower heads--one for you and one for the current "Mrs. Ride".  That will spice up your life.

On another note, I have a divorced friend that travels with her ex-husband for family get-togethers with the kids.  It has never been an issue as it was discussed beforehand.  However, I really like Denise's letter on how to clear the air--Denise you should copyright it!!!  Never thought that my $15 dues included relationship advice or I would have joined sooner.  

Looking forward to the next update.

Anita


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 5, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> _Bet you never heard this from a guy before:_ how do you explain to a women that you just want to be friends...and really only friends because of the kid involved?  This is a problem i run into ALOT, i find a girl i get along with and all of a sudden it goes from hanging out with this cool chick...to somehow she's moving in....Why can't i find a chick that just wants to be friends?


 


Ridewithme38 said:


> ...I want a travel buddy...a true friend would be ideal...
> 
> Theres a few complications for a single father when traveling with a daughter...a female travel buddy solves alot of those things...plus, its nice to have someone else who can enjoy the adult stuff too(not sex, mostly talking drinks and simple things like the changing of leave colors)


 
If you want someone who is not going to be interested in you romantically or physically, try asking a female family member to vacation with you.  Do you have a mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, first-cousin that could go?  If not a family member then look for a woman who is not attracted to men.  You may find an intelligent, witty and fun woman to be your traveling companion, maybe even a true friend.


----------



## chellej (Aug 5, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> _Bet you never heard this from a guy before:_ how do you explain to a women that you just want to be friends...and really only friends because of the kid involved?  This is a problem i run into ALOT, i find a girl i get along with and all of a sudden it goes from hanging out with this cool chick...to somehow she's moving in....Why can't i find a chick that just wants to be friends?



DD's current boyfriend is in Brazil and she has the same problem.... She just wants to be friends with the guys she meets at school, study partners whatever but being an extremely attractive young lady  they never seem to be able to keep it just friends.  I told her what she needs is to find a nice gay guy to be her friend.  Then she has company and her boyfriend will not mind either. She has always had more guy friends than girlfriends.

So maybe ride you need to find the same... a young lady that is pleasant but that has a different sexual orientation than you.


----------



## ronparise (Aug 5, 2011)

Ride...bring this thread to a close...marry someone

Seriously...dont ever stop being involved in your daughters life...and always figure out a way to work with her mother raising her. Never let your daughter hear anything negative about her mother from you and ask for the same consideration from your ex

my experience goes back 40 years, but one reason my daughter is the woman she is today (she turned out pretty good) is that her mother and I did divorce right


----------



## pjrose (Aug 6, 2011)

Hey Ride, you still haven't answered my question about who "we" are (besides you).


----------



## jlr10 (Aug 6, 2011)

Ridewithme38 said:


> The thing that i've ALWAYS been on the fence about...Is it better for a child to grow up in a household with two parents always fighting and upset...or with two happy parents, who don't live together....I've never been able to answer that question....What do you think?
> 
> (Wow this thread has morphed!)



Growing up in a battlezone is always hard.  My mother used to say that she stayed married to her 2nd husband for the sake of the children.  We all prayed every night that they would divorce for the sake of the children.  So, IMHO, marriage should only be for people who want to be together, and you made a good choice.

As far as having to give up something you like to make someone else happy - that is true, it is a part of any good marriage.  But there is something also soooo endearing to have someone give up something for you to make you happy that makes the whole cycle well worth it.  - On our last trip to Hawaii I broke my leg.  DH wanted to go to Maui to hike, that was his goal.  Instead he spent an entire day pushing me in wheelchair up and down to board walk in Kaanapali.  He was hot and sweaty but did it to make me happy.  Seeing Maui was great, but seeing him really go out the way to make me happy was (almost) worth the broken leg.  Because of that I pushed him out the door and told him to leave me in a semi mobile state and go hiking.  It was a hard day, I could barely get around, and was in a lot of pain (although drugs helped .)  But it was worth it because he enjoyed the hike that he had really been looking forward to.  For me it was worth the sacrifice because it made him happy, so it made me happy.  So maybe it isn't really a sacrifice but just a different type of happy.

Oh, and he put in a handheld shower in our bathroom when we got back so it would be easier for me to shower with a broken leg.  Just trying to get it back to the original topic.


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 6, 2011)

pjrose said:


> Hey Ride, you still haven't answered my question about who "we" are (besides you).


Maybe we old ladies have shocked him into silence with our questions and suggestions.


----------



## pjrose (Aug 6, 2011)

Rose Pink said:


> Maybe we old ladies have shocked him into silence with our questions and suggestions.



Hey, who're you calling old?


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 6, 2011)

pjrose said:


> Hey, who're you calling old?


I'm feeling very old at the moment.  Hope I get older still.


----------



## pjrose (Aug 6, 2011)

Rose Pink said:


> I'm feeling very old at the moment.  Hope I get older still.



I'm not, but yes, I do too!  
My mom was "old" in her early 50s.  After hearing "We're too old" all the time, I have a completely different attitude  

Anyway, back on topic.....Hey Ride, who're "we"?  And have the relationship mavens scared you off?  I can't imagine that would happen....


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 6, 2011)

pjrose said:


> Anyway, back on topic.....Hey Ride, who're "we"?  And have the relationship mavens scared you off?  I can't imagine that would happen....


Maybe he's taking a cold shower.


----------



## ampaholic (Aug 6, 2011)

I think he's on vacation with his DD.


----------



## Rose Pink (Aug 6, 2011)

ampaholic said:


> I think he's on vacation with his DD.


Well, that's no excuse for not being on TUG!


----------

